Placing an Order for Larger Windows...Pronto

Do you all love text messaging as much as I do?

I really really really love to send and receive text messages. Makes my heart flutter! A trillion million things go through my mind when I hear the indicator that I've received a new text. Who will it be from? What's it gonna say? Will there be a picture? Is it going to be appropriate? You know, stuff like that.

One of the beauties of text messaging is that you can carry on with whatever you're doing and the person you're texting with has no idea but it's okay, you're still textversing (that's the completely made up version of texting and conversing)(in case you weren't already aware).

You can be doing dishes, combing a child's hair, changing diapers, going to the bathroom (oh, don't tell me you haven't!) reading a book or...

climbing through a bathroom window and the person on the other end is none the wiser.

Such was the case a couple of months ago when Amy Beth and I were having a textervation (text conversation...following me yet?) It was late. It was dark. It was cold.

And Spice locked me out of the house.

Locked.

Me.

Out.

The kid's not even two and she's already figured out how to dead-bolt the place. This could be a good thing, it could. But it wasn't this dark and stormy night.

So, Amy Beth and I are having our textervation. She has no clue I just yelled outside. I just continue texting back. She's no idea I'm frantically checking windows, praying to GOD that one of them will be unlocked. Nope, we just keep on-uh textin'.

Amy Beth can't tell I'm out of breath.

She doesn't know that I keep going back to the front door begging Spice to "pretty please with no gluten/dairy/eggs or peanuts on top OPEN THE FRIGGIN' door already!"

Nope.

To her, I'm calm. Cool. Collected. *snort*

Unlike the other time we had a textervation going on. She knew all about what was going on, whether she wanted to or not.

There came a point the night I was locked out that I had to set down my blessed iPhone. (God bless the iPhone) This moment came when I found, praise be to Jesus, that the bathroom window was unlocked! Of course the bathroom window is small, and ahem, I am not.

It was time to put the phone down for a minute and figure out how I was going to hoist myself into the window.

I stood on our air conditioning unit, opened the window and saw Clifford (our new cat) running up and down the hallway like a moron. Spice came into the bathroom, yelling, "HI!" like a moron...

Sadly, the air conditioner was not tall enough for me to get to the window. Blast!

I jumped off the ac unit, replied to the most recent text from Amy Beth, set the phone back down and got to thinking about what I could stand on that would boost me high enough to get to the window.

cue lightbulb moment...

Our garbage can.

I wheel the green thing on over. I step up on the ac unit, I then step up onto the garbage can, say a praise that it's dark and neighbors and passersby cannot see what I'm about to do and head right foot first into the window.

Nope.

Not gonna happen.

So, I started the Hokey-Pokey. Put my right leg in, took my right leg out, put my right arm in...

Ummm....anyway....

I ended up having to go head first.

Clifford's still running back and forth through the hall. Spice is still standing there, staring at me like I'm the moron and I'm cursing the fact that I'm as wide as I am tall and thinking, "why the hay aren't windows made 5'2" x 5'2"?"

I mean, COME ON! It'd make breaking into my house so much less embarrassing and a little more comfortable on my body and my pride.

I made it in. No thanks to Spice or Clifford. I then unlocked the house, retrieved my cell phone from the hood of my van and resumed my textervation with Amy Beth. With her none the wiser of my little mishap. You know, til later when I told her and she's like, "you're blogging that, right?"

Yep, just a couple months later. When my pride has recovered a bit.

Mid-Week Random

Hi.

I'm here.

Really.

Just busy. Busy with our remodel. Busy with Josh's staycation. Busy buying coffee.

So, here's some random:

My dishwasher is leaking. Has been for a few weeks. I've been doing dishes by hand. My hands are currently on strike. They're tired, cracked, sore and red.
(I'm not purchasing gloves, then I'd have to dishes. If my hands go on strike...JOSH has to do dishes.)

My girls have already started the two baths per day that summer brings. I'll gladly bathe them twice a day for the weather we've been having. LOVE IT! They eat dirt, throw dirt, roll in dirt and smell like dirt. Little girls and dirt...LOVE IT!

Our kitty earned his keep today by catching two mice outside. He caught them, corralled them, then handed them over to Shadow who finished them off. Loving my animals today.

You know you're loved when someone is on your doorstep at 10 pm with two bags full of groceries for your special food diet child. TWO BAGS FULL! I didn't cry. I held it together. But it's been nearly a week and I'm still freaking out about it. Thank you, Treena and family...love you guys.

You also know you're loved when your CPA friend is at the busiest time of her year and she asks to meet for lunch during a rare non-working moment. And for a girl whose Love Language is Quality Time...gotta tell ya, I was feeling the love on Sunday. Kristie, thanks for loving me..I love you, too.

Jesus answered a very specific prayer request I had. I'm so stinkin' happy I can hardly stand it.

Yesterday I spent some time with a couple of awesome teenagers. Josh and I were sitting around the table with them, asking them about their goals for the future. Seriously, if I'd had half their ambition! I said, "what if you meet a boy when you're 16 and he proposes when you're 17?" Ohhh if I could have captured the looks on their faces! Priceless. I told them that that's what had happened with us. Then we quickly told them we did not recommend getting married that young. 35-40 is much better. ;)

I'm gaining weight at lightning speed. Don't be jealous.

One of my best friends from high school is coming over on Friday for dinner, drinks and games. I'm so super excited.

My husband is wearing Wranglers and no shirt at the moment. Yum.

Speaking of my Wrangler clad husband, he had to pull a nail from our little neighbor boy's foot yesterday. Josh said it was stuck nearly an inch in his foot. Owie.

Sugar now eats a whole PB sandwich. And will often ask for more. How is it she can eat like she does and weigh 40 lbs and I eat like that and I weigh 140? Sigh...

I have a friend who's pregnant. I love pregnant people. I loved being pregnant. I didn't love the 20 weeks of puking all day everyday but I loved pregnancy.

I miss being pregnant.

Maybe I should tell my husband.

And then he'll have me committed.

Maybe I should ask for a dog instead. I miss having a Beagle. Why would anyone (who's had one) miss a Beagle?!

I'm asking for a dad for my birthday. Seein' how it's my 30th birthday comin' up, I'm asking for big stuff. Like a dad. A Beagle.

And maybe a baby.

Most likely not a baby.

I might be crazy but my husband isn't.

Yet.

Finding my Joy again

From the time I was in middle school I've absolutely loved taking pictures. Maybe I should back up and say that from the time I was born I've absolutely loved having my picture taken. But then I had kids and I no longer enjoy having my picture taken.

But I do love being behind the camera.

Always have.

My mom bought me my first camera when I was a freshman in high school. I have picture after picture of the most random things (usually involving one of, if not all of these girls: Candee, Melissa and Lindsey) and of specific church events and school events. I love the memories that pictures bring.

About a year ago we purchased a digital Nikon. I now have way more camera than I need. More camera than I care for. Don't get me wrong, I love 'er. But mostly I like to point, shoot and enjoy the picture as is. I don't care about the editing. I don't care about removing the imperfections from the photo or trying to add to the photo to perfect it. Nothing's perfect...not my kids, not my yard, not my husband (though he's close) and most certainly not my photography skills.

Basically I have none.

I like to take pictures of my kids in our real life. Messy house, snotty faces, dirty looks, over-grown yard, cluttered driveway, clothes on the couch waiting to be folded.

I just don't care.

At least I didn't used to.

I noticed recently that I have not taken more than a handful of pictures since Christmas. And even those I haven't printed yet. I started thinking about why I hadn't been taking pictures. It didn't take me long to realize why I quit getting my normally-attached-to-my-neck camera out.

I've started comparing each and every picture I take to the pictures I see everyone else taking.

I started feeling bound with fear each time I turned my camera on.

I started worrying that posting a picture would be laughed at because the lighting was off, the angle wrong, or whatever else could be wrong about my picture.

By comparing myself to others I lost joy in what used to bring me a sense of happiness.

While realizing this, I also realized it doesn't stop with photography. It's been a running theme in nearly every area of my life.

I used to blog almost daily. Once I started this blog, I couldn't stop. I loved it.

Then I started reading other blogs. Seeing how funny, insightful, witty, deep, spiritual, crafty, frugal, perfectly punctuated other women were made me see that this blog of mine as a joke. I lost sight of my reason for starting it in the first place - so my girls could read about our lives through my eyes and my heart, so they'd know how much I love them and their daddy no matter how crazy I am and so they could hopefully learn from my mistakes and do better by their husbands and children.

I lost my joy in blogging when I started comparing my lil ol' blog with everyone elses.

I've told you many times that my dream in life was to be a wife and mama. If I'm living my dream, then where's the joy in it I once had? It's lost in my comparison of myself as a wife and mother with other women around me that I see doing it "better" or who are "successful" in their roles as wife and mom. I wasn't created to be those other women. I wasn't created to mother the way other women mother or be the wife that other women are. Yet I've been comparing myself to them for years now.

Because of it, I've lost the joy that comes with the blessing of being a wife and mom.

But I'm done.

I'm done with comparing me to them.

In every way - those I've listed and those I haven't.

I just want to be me. The wife and mama that I am. The photographer that I am - and of course I use that term loosely. The simple, no frills, useless blogger that I am.

Just me.

Finding joy again.

Proverbs 3 verses five and six

My husband has a new job. His dream job.

The short version of this story?

God.

G-O-D

Period.

Long version?

Before I go any further I want to thank all of you and I do mean ALL OF YOU for your love, prayers, emails, phone calls and encouraging words over the last year.

This truck life has been tough. Real tough. Honestly, it's been much harder than we anticipated. Mostly because we never realized how much we liked being at home til we were never here. We never realized just how loudly Spice cried until we were stuck in a truck with her.

I'd like to say the weeks that the girls and I were with Josh weren't that bad. But I can't. They were bad. Of course there was fun mixed in and a lot of adventures we'd never have been on if we hadn't gone. But all in all, those were hard weeks. Then when fall and winter rolled around and the weather and roads were awful, we stayed home while Josh went out alone.

These last few months have not been easy on us. I started resenting my husband. I couldn't go out in the truck with him because the roads were bad and we agreed it wouldn't be wise to have all of us in the truck. And he couldn't be home in the evenings to help me with the girls.

We all missed him being home. He missed being home.

Then he was offered the opportunity to buy the truck and trailers.

And I about had a heart attack on the spot.

Every awful feeling possible came. While the offer was good in some ways, ie...no interest, no bank involvement, etc. I just couldn't shake the panicky feeling I had.

So I emailed my friend Laura in TN and she promptly emailed back saying that for my husband to make an informed decision I had to let him know how I felt. And if he still chose to buy the truck, well, that's when being a submissive wife really comes in to play.

Later that night I talked to Josh. Told him how I felt.

AND THE MAN UNDERSTOOD.

AND AGREED.

No, Hell has not frozen over. I checked.

I felt so bad asking him to give up his dream job again (he quit driving truck when Sugar was born.) I hated thinking he'd be stuck with a job he hated.

But he knew that things at home weren't going well and that we needed him here. I needed him here. He decided he'd try to get a job in the welding supply business again. This is what he's done since high school graduation, it's what he knows, it's what he's good at. It's also the place he quit before going OTR. So, instead of trying to get his job back, he decided he'd call the competition. He didn't want to. Didn't feel right about it but decided to go for it anyway.

Then he remembered he'd signed a "no-compete" clause. Since I'd thrown it away he didn't know exactly what it said but we were pretty sure it stated he had to wait at least two years before he could work for a welding supply company again. But to know for sure what it said, he'd have to get a copy of it.

Sooo...he had to call the HR department (HR dept is located at the main office, three hours from where we live) and request a copy. The lady told him she wasn't trying to give him a run around but that the safe where they're kept was broken and it'd be a few days before she could fax it. Josh agreed, what else could he do?

Within minutes - literally- he received a call from his previous manager asking if he was looking for a job. At this time Chad and Nancy (Josh's current employers) weren't aware he was job searching so Josh was a little nervous to tell the guy that he was indeed looking for a job. First he wanted to know how Shane knew. HR lady called the VP of the company informing him of Josh's request, VP then called Shane - Josh's previous manager.

The next day Josh talked to the VP. btw...VP's name is Mike. Mike told Josh that he was in the middle of setting up a big account but they'd taken it slow because they didn't have the right driver.

Til now.

The job would be driving a semi (YAY!) hauling chlorine. He'll make occasional trips over to Tacoma to load the chlorine then drive back over and deliver it locally. And a trip every few weeks or so that would be over night. But 90% of the time he'll be home EVERY NIGHT!

He told Josh he'd have all his same pay and benefits but they didn't know a start date.

During this whole time Josh is feeling bad about telling Chad and Nancy he's going to quit.

Little did we know, they were ready to sell the trucks and be done with the business!

Is God's timing not the greatest?

Josh has been back and forth with Mike about a start date. Mike couldn't ever give him one and we were starting to get pretty nervous. Especially when Chad told Josh that they weren't wanting his truck on the road after the end of March, meaning we had a month to get all the details worked out with the new job.

Then, outta no where Josh gets a call from a guy in town that he doesn't know offering him a job. The benefits and pay are way less but he could have started right then and there. The guy (Danny, I think) had heard Josh's current boss was getting out and that Josh was going to need a job. He started making calls around town asking about Josh. He told Josh that he'd heard nothing but people singing his praises. ☺ So, they offered him a job.

The only incentive was that he knew for sure he'd have a job.

But we both felt like the Lord just wanted us to wait it out. So, he didn't take the job.

Finally, after nearly two months of planning, preparation, etc. Mike called Josh, told him that he didn't have everything completely ready but that he knew Josh needed to start the hiring process. Then, the phone rang after that and his current boss told him he had one week (this week) left, then they'd pay him for a week of vacation and then he was done.

So, the way it's worked out is that he's driving this week, has a week of vacation (his first vacation in over 3.5 years) and then starts his new job on the 29th.

HOW COOL IS THAT?!

They also offered him more money than we thought they would and told him that in six months they'd review it and if all was going well, they'd give him a raise.

I love that my husband is going to be home at night.

I love that he still gets to drive a big truck.

And mostly I love how Jesus worked it all out.

Finally remembered I was supposed to post a winner

Sorry. A million times over, I'm sorry!

I know I was supposed to announce the winner of the bloggy birthday giveaway a week and a half ago but I have lost track of time AND MY MIND!

So, random.org has randomly chosen contestant/commenter number 2 which was Laura S!

I'll be sending out some toenail polish to you, stat!

Tomorrow's post...

My husband's NEW job!

And now I need a nap for about six months straight

Friends, I'm exhausted. I realized it this morning.

I am emotionally drained.

To the point that I'm thinking a panic attack is in order. Along with a trip to McDonald's and Starbucks.

My purse. Last Thursday we got some not so wonderful news and had to make a trip to Wal Mart for some unexpected groceries. I left Wal Mart and 40 minutes later I realized I'd left my purse in the cart. I'd already gotten Spice's jammies on (Sugar was with her daddy) but I had to dash back to the store. I was praying like crazy. While it would suck to have to replace everything in my purse, there'd be no way to replace my journal. I was mortified to think of anyone reading it. Ugh! I called Josh. Sent a text to my mom and my friend Melissa to please pray. I parked right next to the cart return where I'd placed my cart and my purse was not to be found. I went to Customer Service and praise God, some man had returned it! Nothing was touched. Not even my six bucks cash. Everything was there. I still get all shaken up when I think about it though. I was so scatterbrained in that moment.

Job. I posted a week (was it two?) ago that my husband is getting a new job. He is. The timing of everything is sketchy and scary. And let me put it to you this way...as of April 1st my husband will not have a job if this new one does not come through. Needless to say, I'm worried. Josh isn't so much. He's confident that all of what's happening is perfect timing and that there's no need to worry. Can you guess which one of us looks at the glass half full while the other one looks at it as half empty?

Marriage. In my life right now there are four marriages that are looking grim. People I love. Care for. Hurt for. Pray for. I know their marriage struggles are not about me but it's amazing how you can let others hurts and needs affect you to the point of being ill. I realized this morning I've been praying for these other marriages and have been failing to pray for my own. Josh and I have hit bottom and have come through by the grace of God but just because we've already been down a dark road doesn't mean we're immune to it happening again. I still need to be praying for us.

Money. Right now Josh makes decent money, not a fortune but comfy. We have - literally - 52 cents in our savings account. We've never ever been wise with our money but we've always paid all our bills and have been able to eat out when we want, have Starbucks, internet, cell phones, vehicles, etc. The glorious life, right? Pfft. Well, with this job change it's very likely our income will be cut tremendously. I'm in the process of reducing our insurance on our vehicles (I finally looked up what I'm actually paying and what I'm paying for and realized we have more coverage than we need) I'm working up the nerve to cut our cell phone down to one. Josh's boss pays 3/4 of our cell bill. Come April first she'll pay 0/4 of our cell bill. We can't afford it. I'm tired of bills. Not the ones I must pay but the ones I don't need to pay. The ones I've brought upon myself. Cell phones, internet, car payments, etc. They make me tired. I'm tired of being tired.

Alison. Our Spice of life. Oh, my sweet baby girl. We had her allergy tested and the results came back last Thursday. Before the doctor told me the results, her exact words were, "I'm sorry, this is as bad as it gets." She's highly allergic to eggs, gluten and wheat and dairy. Oh, and she's allergic to peanuts. Since Friday we've had to get creative with her food. It's not been easy since I'm trying to cut back on groceries. This weekend we'll be headed to Portland, OR so I'll be able to hit up Whole Foods and hopefully be able to stock up on a bunch of ingredients for her. I've decided not to grocery shop this week for our regular stuff (eating up what we already have on hand) so I can save up and use it at Whole Foods. Since she was two weeks old I have felt so ill-equipped to be her mama. This just tops it off. I want to help her. I want to do something for her. I want to do it right. I'm panicked that this is just one more thing I'm going to fail at.

Family. I've had to make a big decision in my life that wasn't easy to make. I feared it would disrupt some of the good relationships I've been having with my family. But big decisions needed to be made despite rocking boats. Still waiting to see the ripples from it.

Fat. That's me. Still. I'm currently on a rewards system with my husband. For every five pounds I lose he'll buy me a present. There's a purse I want at Target and he says when I lose five pounds I can have it. But then the dummy went and bought ice cream last night after dinner. I think he doesn't want to have to buy me the purse. Maybe he likes me fat rolls afterall, huh?

Dinner. It's 6:30 and I'm about to give the girls the same meal they've had 3 times already since Friday. Spaghetti. It's easy and allergy free.

Okay, I'm done with my pity party. Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be back tomorrow with the winner of the giveaway.

You decide what YOU want

It's the second of March.

Can you believe that?!? Me either.

And with the beginning of a month I'm reminded that I'm to give something away. We only have FOUR more giveaways!

But at the moment, I'm at a loss for an idea of what to give away.

Here are things I considered and then decided against.

1. Spice - while a lil on the naughty side, she's too cute to give away.

2. A weekend trip to Lincoln City - hello, I need this! So, my husband and I are going next weekend. just.the.two.of.us!!!

3. A bag of Oreos - whoops! too late. they're gone.

4. A Starbucks giftcard my sweet father-in-law gave me for helping out a couple weekends ago. I've almost used it all up, I wouldn't feel right giving you the 12 bucks that's left. (um, because that's 3 more coffees for me!)

5. The scale in my bathroom - it appears to be broken or something, it shows these huge numbers I'm not used to, so I don't think you'd want it. But I don't want it either. So maybe I should give it away...

So, there you have it. Things I considered and thought better of.

What do you want?!?

Leave a comment with something you'd like me to send you. If it's reasonable (like 10-15 bucks reasonable) I'll consider it along with my scale and you're entered in for the giveaway!

Hurry up and leave a comment. I'll announce Friday who won what. ☺