8 Takes of my Weekend

1. Friday night was date night.  Kind of last minute plans.  Good plans.  We ate at PF Changs.  I had a coupla Mai Tais and may have gotten tipsy.  I may have also sang Rihanna's S&M at the top of my lungs in the van.  And said, "Go, Team!" to the barista at Starbucks in the drive-thru when we ordered coffee so I could be sober for Target.  Oh, that Target on that Friday night.

He's pretty much a whole lot of hottness.

2.  Date night turned into Date Morning and Josh and I were able to ride with our friends on Saturday morning.  It was a grueling 40 mile ride.  There were times I'd fall off from the pack, they'd have to slow down and wait for me and then times when I'd power through on the hills and be up with the cool kids. I almost puked a coupla times.  I haven't been that worn out from a ride since our 90 miler back in July.  In 9 days I've ridden 135 miles.

Thankful he puts up w/my self-portraits.

3.  Last minute decision to Spring Barrel with my sister and Tracy was a hoot.

we're a good time, this sister and me.

i love that i look tall. for once. thank you, shoes.

yes, i have a sticker on my head. no, that's not our limo.

4.  I got to hold a 3 week old baby.  Oh my womb.  

5. I went to Body Flow yesterday for the first time in two weeks.  Totally sucked.  My abs were like, "haha, SUCKER."  

6.  I rode my bike to Body Flow and while I was on my way there I got "woo hoo'd!!!"  By my sister-in-law.  I'd take that over the creeps who often hang out their window to whistle.  Seriously, guys.  SERIOUSLY.

7.  Oh, Seven.  Or 37, which is my fave number.  After 63.  Hey, I had to throw some random into a weekend post.

8.  I saw several motorcycles at Starbucks yesterday (I stopped there on my bike) and one guy had the nerve to say, "I bet you haven't ridden as far as I have today."  And I said, "I bet you haven't burned as many calories as I have."  To which he had no reply.  TAKE THAT.

the post where i could be snarky but choose not to be

I am feeling so snarky right now.  Which is my way of self-preservation.

I don't even know where to begin and since it probably wouldn't be pretty, I'm going to choose NOT to begin. I'll keep my snark to myself.

Others should follow suit.

It's raining and fabulous.  I opened up a window in my bedroom last night and fell asleep to the sound of rain.  And woke up the very same way.

It's like the rain gets me.  Knows when I need the refreshment.  The soothing.

My hair is hi-lighted and that makes me happy.  I did some painting for my in-laws on Saturday and thought I had gotten paint in my hair.  Nope.  It was just grey hair.  But it's covered now.

Btw:  I prefer "grey" to "gray" in case you were wondering.  And in case you weren't.

I rode my bike to the salon yesterday.

I've put 80 miles on my bike since Saturday and have lost three pounds as a result.  I have a pair of spandex my in-laws bought me for Christmas that are a size XS.  Working my butt off to fit into them.  I mean, I fit into them, I'd just prefer a little less muffin topness going on.

This line was typed.  Then deleted.  Realized it woulda been taken all wrong and well, I've had just about enough of that.

Sugar has a soccer game tonight.  I almost feel bad for the other teams she plays.  Sugar's soccer coach is very serious about soccer and our team wins every time.  By a lot.  Not that I keep score because you aren't supposed to keep score but we do.  We win.  And last week the opposing team's coach called the game at the half and said it was due to rain but I believe it was due to the 13-1 lead we had.  But what do I know?

Looking forward to Saturday.  Looking forward to being able to ride with Josh.  Mostly looking forward to kicking his butt.  He's so much stronger of a rider than I am but he hasn't been out to really ride in awhile so I'm hoping to stand half a chance this weekend.

Josh and I watched some home video of the girls from about three years ago.  Oh my word.  Sugar was making us laugh so hard.  She talks non-stop.  She's always happy.  She's just so her.  Then there's Spice.  Oh, Spice.  She's crying in most of the video we have of her.  She's just so her. :)  There was also video of me.  With an extra 30ish lbs.  Wow.  That was weird to see.  How did I let myself be like that for so long?  It was a miserable five years.

I'm behind on laundry.

We have a long-ish driveway and occasionally Sugar wants to have the car stopped at the bottom and run to the house.  Last night, in the rain, this is what she wanted.  I decided to run with her.  She got a bit of a head start and I never was able to catch up with her.  I'd like to blame it on my flip flops, the rain, my bad knee, and the fact that I kept having to pull up my jeans but what it boils down to is that kid has some wheels.

Okay, it's time to get my day going.  Totally patting myself on the back for keeping my snark to myself.

Happy Thursday, Friends!

the weekend i didn't go camping and the bunny story

I started my morning fairly early and I'm on the phone with Josh and I'm looking out my bedroom window and I see Clifford.  My cat.  Well, the family cat.  And he's out in the garden area and he's being very un-Clifford like and rolling all over the ground.  Clifford doesn't do that.  Then I realize why he's being a moron.

He has a bunny.

So I go traipsing out there in my jammies and my slippers and I inform him that he WILL NOT be harming this baby bunny.  I pick him up and he is pissed.  He's the most laid back cat we've ever owned but right now he's ticked that I am taking him away from his baby bunny.

I haul him back in the house and not two minutes later, Clifford, Ruby (our other cat) and Ace (our Beagle) are all making a bee-line for the bunny.  I grab two cats by the scruffs of their necks and they are hissing and kicking and fur is flying and I'm sure the neighbors are wondering what the crap is going on.  Bunny goes into hiding.  All is well.

Sugar comes in the house and informs me that she has put the bunny in the tree so that Ace will not get it.  I tell her the bunny could die if he hops out of the tree.  And she announces: "Oh, he's already dead."  My smart girl had put on gloves and everything.  I go out and sure enough there's a dead bunny in my tree.

So I put on gloves and I grabbed a shovel and I buried that cute little bunny in my backyard.  I teared up and my six year old is like, "Wow, that's sad.  Can I have a snack?"

That was my morning.

My weekend went like this:

Saturday I got up and headed down to Doc's office where we meet to ride our road bikes.  I went alone because Josh took our girls on a hiking/camping trip.  I rode 30 awesome miles with them.  Doc taught me how to stand while continuing to pedal uphill.  This probably sounds like something that's easy to do but remember, I'm the girl who can't drink from her water bottle and ride at the same time.

So he teaches me how to do this and bam I take off.  They're yelling at me that I'm supposed to maintain my speed not speed up.  Yeah, there's no way I'm going to go slow up a hill if I can go fast.  I'm not wired like that.  In the process of doing the rollers the new way (standing) I sailed through them and didn't vomit the way I've done previously.

And when we were done with our ride I was so pumped I very nearly just kept on riding.  Instead I went home to shower.  In an empty house and that is so very weird to shower without someone opening up the shower curtain and yelling, "Mama!  What's for breakfast?!"  I was able to shave both legs and both armpits.

I went up to my in-laws for a while to do some work for them.  Got so dirty I had to come home and shower again.  And then I got back on my bike for another 20 miles for a total of 50 miles on Saturday!  I asked a friend to ride with me but he wussed out declined.  Maybe because I told him he could ride my back wheel I gave the impression that I was going to kick his butt.  Which I totally woulda.

I rode my bike to my aunt's house in Gview.  This is an aunt on my dad's side of the family.  The side of my family I'm not nearly as comfortable with or know as well but love dearly.  However, I walk in the house then out to the backyard and when I see how many of my family members are out there I walk right back in the house and have a sit down.  Holy lots of family.  I had to take a breather.  Give myself a pep talk and proceed to the backyard.  Where I discussed tattoos, dreadlocks, nose piercings, and giving birth with my cousin.  All things I love.

And then I announced I was riding my bike home and my uncle tried to give me a ride but I said no.  On my way home I get a text from a friend and am invited to sports bar/casino and it's on my way home and a beer sounds fantastic! but I politely decline and I'd like to say I declined because of my attire (biking skirt, tank top, sweaty face) but really it's because I've never been in there and I don't go into places alone that I've never been.  I get this weird anxiety deal and I wish I could explain it but it just boils down to possibly needing more therapy.

Then I went home, showered for a third time.

This entire time I cannot get in touch with my husband because there is no cell service where he is and my mind is going crazy thinking they've been eaten by bears and why oh why did I not just go with them?!

I was asked why I didn't go with them.  I told him there were two reasons.  The first is that after the family camping trip from hell in August, Josh told me I never had to camp again.  I fully intend to hold him to this for the duration of our marriage, however long that may be.  And secondly, I homeschool my kids.  I am here pretty much 24/7.  I am with them allthetime.  They can have 36 hours with their daddy.  It is good for them and it is good for me.

I'm done feeling guilty about that.  Even Josh told me there was no reason for me to feel guilty for not going.

After I explained my reasons my friend understood.

My kids had a blast and they brought home 14 minutes of video for me to watch.  It was adorable and I can't wait to watch it 10 years from now.

I also can't wait to not go camping again.  I'm so good at it.

The mixed emotions of a SAHM {type without deleting: post two}

Last year about this time I wrote a post about not being glamorous.  How I used to have a job I was good at.  A job where I felt adequate.

And then I became a mama.

And now I feel anything but glamorous.  Or adequate.

Maybe it's this time of year that makes me feel like this because I'm feeling it again.  This ants in my pants feeling.

I want a paycheck.  And awards (even if the award says, Most Likely to Provide Comic Relief) and customers and co-workers.  I want someone to see this good hair day.  I want to wear high heels for something other than vacuuming.

I want to not sit here thinking how one (or more) of you are shaking your head at me.  I will post this no matter what.  I will not delete it no matter what.

I know how petty all of this makes me sound.  I know how ungrateful it makes me sound.  But we all have these seasons, right?  Where we're just kinda fed up with life and ourselves?

No?  Just me?

My bad then.

One day last week the weather was decent and school was over and the girls were playing happily outside.  Giggling and chasing each other and finding bugs and getting dirt under their fingernails.  It was 11 am.  "Normal" children would have been in school and not with their mama.  They would have been seated at desks and I would not have heard their laughter.

And I sat there watching them and thinking, "this is the freaking hardest thing I do on a daily basis, but my God, I would not change it.  I would not want any other life than this one I've been afforded."

So yes, I bitch.  I moan and I groan.  And I tell you how I suck at this mom gig.  That is not a gig at all but my life.  I love my life.  I have good days.  I have good weeks.  And I take my kids to the park and I push them on the swing and I kiss owies and I make pancakes and I tousle their hair as I pass by them.

I give out hugs and kisses and I read books.

And I let out a huge sigh of relief when I shut out their light for the night.

I put my bare feet up on my husband's lap and we look at each other and he smiles that knowing smile.  Because the day is done and we made it.  We survived it.  We lived it and loved it.

Even if it was not easy.  Even if there were tears and screaming (and not just from the kids).

And tomorrow a new day will begin.  And what I feel is so mundane may just be mundane, but it's my life and I'm living it.

And I'm having a love/hate relationship with it.

But I am living it.  I won't let it pass me by.  I won't wish it away.  I may let myself dream of it being different on occasion but it's where I am.  Where God has me.

And it's GOOD.

The Ball {type without deleting: post one}

I am not someone who can easily highlight my successes.  Partly because they are so few and far between and partly because it's just not me to say, "yay, me! look what I did awesome!"

However.

I rock at showcasing what I suck at.

Today and many days it's mothering.

I've just sent my children down for naps with tears running down their dirty, little faces.

They were fighting over a stupid ball.  So I did the really mature thing and I opened up the sliding glass door and chucked the ball outside.

There.  Now no one can play with it.

And the tears and the screaming.

Oh the tears.

Over an effing ball.

It's close enough to nap time anyway so I just sent them to bed.  I've taken the easy hard way out.  Easy because I'm not dealing with the situation.  Hard because...I'm not dealing with the situation.

Or the attitudes.

Or their hearts.

Or my attitude.

Or my heart.

Instead, stuff the issue in a bedroom, shut the door and.. and sit here feeling like anyone but me deserves to mother these kiddos.

*this post in an effort to, for one week, type without deleting as i have been double dog dared by my friend, Sara, to do.

wednesday fluff of stuff

left knee is killing me lately during my bike rides.

found a new love via Downton Abbey on Netflix.

having a fantastic school week.

spice is sitting at the table for the two hours of school.  part of last week and all of this week so far.

sugar is learning about King Tut, syllables, pronouns, and addition repetition.

i completed all six items on my to do list monday.  the only time i sat down was when i got on my bike to ride to the gym.

i worked out for three hours straight on monday.

i took a 40 minute nap yesterday.  i never do that.  ever ever.  it felt great.  today i took a 20 minute nap.  what is up?

josh's alarm was set for 3 a.m.

spice wore two different colored flip flops to the grocery store yesterday.  she has a purple pair and a pink pair.  she wanted to wear the purple pair but could only find one.  so instead of just wearing the pink pair she chose one of the pink flips and the single purple.  i love her lack of sense of style.

someone i follow on Twitter posted this yesterday, "what we want isn't always what's best for us."  how true is THAT?

true in my life.

my baby sister will be 26 on saturday.  how did she get to be that old?  i loved 26.  life was simpler.  amazing how a few years can change so much.

but don't take me back to 23.  *shudder*  you couldn't pay me enough to go back to that.  or age 9.  or age 13.

i put my debit card and checkbook on the counter over a week ago to keep me from spending money.  i've had a little cash in my wallet and have used that for a few groceries.

i nearly poked my eye out at dinner last night.  we had dinner at Candee's house and i threw my hand down on a fork and it flew at my face.  i'm really good at making a dork of myself.  so glad she loves me anyway.

sugar asked me today what spring break was and why the neighbors weren't at school.  we aren't doing spring break.  or summer break.

i had a corndog, jojos, a pepsi, fry sauce and a peanut butter snickers for lunch yesterday

my cyclometer on my bike reads 1,100 miles.  Hoping I'll hit 2,000 by the end of summer.

i have a headache today.

i love spring.

yes, it's windy.  yes, it's rainy.  but it's spring.  and spring brings summer.