It's been nearly a month since I've posted anything.
Sorry?
It has been a dark month, friends. Oh so dark.
I can't put my finger on it. What happened. How today, the darkness has left and sunshine is here. But it's happened and I'm thankful.
I don't know what's going to come from these fingertips, I had no plan on blogging today. But when I woke up and felt this unfamiliar sense of happiness I knew I needed to write immediately. Because what if it doesn't last long? I want to come back and see these words and know that surely light is at the end of the tunnel.
These last few weeks have been so sad. I'm not a girl who just cries. It's not my way of expressing emotion when I'm upset but oh the tears these last few weeks. I have spent much time in tears. Much time in bed. Much time alone in this head of mine. It's been a lonely time. So freaking lonely. It's so strange to have much of my family and friends within 20 miles, yet feel so all alone. How does that work? It works that somehow I withdraw. Somehow I stop putting myself out there. Inviting myself over, inviting others over. I don't necessarily spend time in my home though. Sometimes I try to be gone from here as much as possible.
Being here only reminds me of how I'm failing at keeping up with dishes and laundry and kids and school and the husband.
The day has turned though. Somehow.
And today the sun shines outside my home and inside my heart.
Today is a good day and I'm going to live it up because I don't know what tomorrow brings for this crazy head of mine.
