This Girl I Love

You are three and a half. So far, you are unaware of the half part. Oh, just you wait. I'm sure next year you'll know to add the half.

You are beautiful. Inside and out. Your eyes shine when you laugh. You have an extra special giggle for your daddy. You are patient with your little sister. You get a spanking every single night for getting in her crib. But it doesn't stop you.

You love milk and Eggo waffles. You love to go to the grocery store to get a piece of bubble gum. You learned to write the letter "A" yesterday. We both cried. Not tears of joy. Tears of frustration. Lord, help us!

You love to go. Doesn't matter where, you just love it. You always have.

You love to be outside. You lay on Shadow as if he were a pillow. He doesn't care. You help me put dishes away and laundry too.

I love the way your little nose turns up. Your lips are always perfectly pink and chapped, too.

I think you'll go to college sucking your thumb.

Your curly hair makes me insane. I know I only have myself to blame. Well, and my dad, too. Yeah, let's blame him.

Bath time lasts approximately 1 hour. Daily.

You have no idea that a toy always comes in a Happy Meal. You get surprised if there is one. I love that. I also love that I just happen to have a random toy in my purse to give you on random occasions.

Last night while brushing your teeth you yelled, "Will Dr. Jon be proud of me?!"

I'm sure he will!

When your daddy comes home from work you squeal as if it's been weeks since you've seen him.

Every time.

He loves it.

I love you, sweet girl.

Promise Kept

*shiver*

I said yesterday that my laundry pile was stacked half way to the ceiling. I wasn't joking.

I also said I'd post a picture of it.

Again, wasn't joking. Oh, how you wish I were.

Head over here and take a look-see. But make sure any judgemental bone in your body is gone before ya do.

Everything you never wanted to know

On Facebook this tag is going around of 25 things about me. After posting it I realized I had so many more (35 more to be exact) to share! Lucky you, here they are!

1. I get nervous to do these things, worrying that people will judge my weirdness.

2. I love to check the mail. It's one of my favorite things to do during the day.

3. I love road trips. Don't care where to, just love 'em.

4. A perfect date to me is going for coffee, holding hands, and window shopping.

5. I want a Dad for Christmas this year. I'll keep asking til I get one.

6. My favorite food is Mexican. I could eat Steak Mexicano everyday and not get tired of it.

7. I have a thing for numbers. I memorize them. Add them. Love them.

8. I don't like watching a movie more than once. Unless it's Dirty Dancing.

9. I have a terrible voice but I love to sing. LOVE TO SING.

10. I would love to learn how to play guitar.

11. My red KitchenAid mixer and my camera are two things I wouldn't want to be without.

12. I'm horrible at switching the laundry from washer to dryer.

13. I love to cook. I want to be better at it.

14. I love having company over.

15. I don't get enough alone time with my husband but when we go out, I feel guilty for leaving our kids.

16. I love to clean toilets but hate washing dishes. HATE DISHES.

17. I vacuum 5 times a week.

18. At age 28 I finally got to see New Kids on the Block in concert. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.

19. If it were warm 365 days a year, I'd only own flip flops.

20. I got appendicitis at age 26, while removing my appendix, the doctor found a malignant tumor. A week later I had another surgery. I now have a six inch scar on my belly. Having half of my colon removed did not remove the 20 lbs excess weight I'm carrying.

21. I don't eat breakfast.

22. I love chocolate and peanut butter anything. Yum.

23. Venti Iced Hazelnut Breves are my weakness.

24. I will, on occasion, snort when I laugh.

25. My back always hurts.

26. I don't mind sharing a glass of water or a can of pop but I refuse, absolutely will NOT share a glass of milk.

27. I picked out my firstborn daughter's name while I was still in high school before Josh and I were even engaged, while he and I were "on a break."

28. We don't watch TV.

29. I love to iron.

30. I never called my dad, "Dad" and I'll forever regret that.

31. Josh's laugh is one of my favoritest sounds.

32. I chew my fingernails and I hate it.

33. I peed my pants in Shop-Ko when I was 9.

34. I didn't have any pain meds having my kids. If I have another, I think I deserve meds next time.

35. I'm scared to death of heights.

36. I hope drowning isn't hereditary.

37. When I write out a grocery list, I write the rough draft, another copy, and then the final copy that is in order of the layout of the grocery store.

38. My laundry is piled half way to the ceiling as I type this. I'm not kidding. I'll post a picture tomorrow.

39. I love my birthday and think it should be declared a national holiday.

40. I chew on ice while I'm pregnant.

41. I love paper towels.

42. When my tax return comes, I'll be able to pay off our VISA. I'm ecstatic.

43. I once watched television at the fire station in town, while sitting on the fire engine and all the guys were sitting inside the station. It was a hoot.

44. My first job was a paper route.

45. I'm left-handed.

46. I used to write poems in high school.

47. My cousin and I used to put dog food in black olives at holiday gatherings.

48. My favorite color is red.

49. I'd rather pee in an outhouse than a public restroom.

50. Shopping at thrift stores is more exhilerating to me than a mall.

51. I still doodle "Sarah loves Josh" on random pieces of paper, the phone book, grocery lists, etc.

52. I can't sit at the table while someone else is eating cereal. *shiver*

53. I love the smell of Pine-Sol.

54. I went to Mexico one year for a mission trip as a sponsor. We were sent back into the States for something (can't remember) and didn't get back into Mexico before the border closed. We slept at a Denny's I believe. We had no contact with our youth group and my mom was sure I was dead.

55. I knew the moment I saw my husband that I would marry him. I was 16.

56. 2 years later, we were married.

57. My sister-in-law once took the day off of work to spend the day with me, it's still one of my favorite memories of being with her.

58. If I ever have a son I want to name him Scott.

59. My husband weighs less than I do.

60. I love him anyway.

Okay, I'm off to bed.

The New Kids on the Block photos you have been DYING to see

Okay, maybe you haven't been dying to see them. But I completely forgot Amber emailed them to me.

So, in case you missed the memo: Amber and I were in love with NKOTB when we were 10-12ish. Both of us between 10-12ish, kinda poorish. We weren't cool enough to see them in concert then but oh we were cool enough to see them 18 years later!

There are no pictures of Jordan, Joey, Donnie, Danny or Jon because they were taking the pictures of us. Go figure.

We were stoked, can you tell?!
Asked a random girl to take our picture.

What's a trip to Seattle without stopping at Goodwill?! Too bad this fur was like $45, I totally would have bought it...

I refrained from posting the picture of me hooked up to the pump. Seriously, Amber took one. It's not easy being away from your 6 month old baby when you're nursing. Oh, the things we do for our children... Josh put an inverter in my van with jumper cables and showed me how to hook up the inverter to the battery and plug my pump in (what would I do without this man!?) So, we got to the concert a lil early, 'cause that's how we roll and we parked so I could pump. The hood was up on my van, jumper cables hooked up to the battery and me sitting in the back seat of the van, with pump cables hooked up to, um, me. It was quite a sight, obviously, since Amber thought it picture worthy. At one point she had to get out and deter a friendly fellow who was concerned we were having car troubles. Wouldn't he have been in for a shock?

In 2007 we saw Dirty Dancing on the big screen in Seattle, 2008 was NKOTB. The last two years have been unreal. My childhood dreams, coming true. 2009 must hold something truly amazing.

I'm thinking it's a dad.

I love it when he talks dirty

My husband.

Oh, that man.

He already rocks my world by being the hottest guy ever. You know, besides Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block. =)

On Sundays after church we almost always go to Costco for lunch. It's a cheap lunch of $3.77 and I get my time in of people watching. I love to watch the people pass us with their huge carts of goods. I love seeing what other people buy. I'm always so envious to see people load up their carts. How fun that would be! My favorites are the flat bed carts. The orange ones. The carts that have no limits. Josh knows this is a dream of mine.

To one day go into Costco for something other than a hot dog and piece of pizza for lunch.

On Friday night he tells me...

"When I get my next paycheck, I want you to go to Costco and buy whatever you want or need from there. I want you to get one of those big carts that you like."

Be still my heart.

The man never looked sexier than in that moment.

He's pretty much my favorite being at the moment. I can't wait til Friday.

If you were going to Costco and could buy anything, what would it be? I need some ideas.

So, maybe I panicked just a lil. Okay, a lot.

Whew.

Anyone else feeling the TGIF with me?

Yesterday was one of the craziest days of my entire life. I kid you not.

The day started off amazing. Amber showed up unexpectedly with a coffee for me! And then Janie showed up with a couple of pounds of hamburger and some rib steak for us! I have amazing friends!

But then they left. And I made lunch for Sugar. And set Spice in her chair with some pieces of bread. I called my sister in law, because helloooo, it'd been since last Friday that we chatted. That's not normal!

I'm on the phone with Treena when I hear a loud crash.

I hung up on her.

On the floor of the kitchen was Spice, still in her chair, face down. It wasn't secured to the kitchen chair and Sugar was trying to pull her closer to her when she pulled it down.

This is the part where I tell you that yes, I'm aware that not securing the booster to the chair is a bad thing. It's not like I did it on purpose. I'm beating myself up enough, I don't really wanna have anyone else do it for me. =)

So, I get her out of the chair and there is blood all over. Blood doesn't bother me until it's coming out of my baby. It was all over her face so I wasn't sure where it was coming from. She started to cry really hard and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she went completely limp in my arms.

Honestly, I thought she had died in my arms. I freaked. I called 911. Sugar started praying. The 911 operator told me to lay Spice on her side and keep her real still. I was begging the Lord to just let her be okay, please.

Spice woke back up. The ambulance showed up. They said what had probably happened was that she cried so hard she passed out from it. They checked her over, said she looked great but that they recommended I drive her to the ER just to be sure.



We did. And they wanted to do a CT scan since she passed out. Poor little baby. She did so amazing. Three hours in the hospital, much of that was waiting time, when they finally came in to give me good results of my little girl's brain, what the doctor found was Sugar napping on the hospital bed and Spice and me in the chair. Asleep.

It was a rough day. Tiring day. I was glad to get home.

She's fine. She has a cold so she hasn't been feeling so hot as it is, but she's up and moving, getting into stuff and being the sweet/naughty lil girl that I love.

Seriously, who does this kid think she is?

The mailman showed up a little earlier today than he usually does.

I tell Jaylee that I'm going to go check the mail.

I'm half way down the driveway (which is a ways) when she comes running out, wearing her Cars helmet and knee pads, yelling frantically.

"Mooooom, you need to button my pants for meeeeee, pleaaaaaase!"

Did she really think I'd just turn myself back around and button her drawers for her and then go back down the driveway again!?

Hellooo, I've worked hard to get this chubby, like I'm going to make an extra trip just so I can button 'er up.

Project 365

I started another blog.

Since I'm sooo good at keeping up with this one.

And since I was amazing with the diet blog. Yeah, I'm rolling my eyes, too.

It's a blog with pictures.

Mostly pictures.

Some words, too.

It's mostly my accountability partner for Project 365 but other pics as well.

Check 'er out!

Creative Juices

have run dry. I've got nothin' for ya.

Nuttin.

Not that any of my other posts are creative but at least I have something to talk about. Not so much today.

I watched the Inauguration.

That was the most exciting thing I did.

While I didn't vote for Barak Obama, it was cool to watch history in the making. That's the only part I liked.

No, I also liked his daughters, they're cute.

I wish I were as stylish as they are.

Crazy Train

It's quiet in my home. Children are napping. Husband is at work. Dog is twitching with crazy dreams.

It's peaceful. Today, unlike the three previous days I've had, I feel like I can breathe.

Friday was a bit of a pity party. I'm amazing at throwing that kind of bash. Let me know if you'd like to be invited some time but really there's only room for me.

Saturday was my frazzled day. Josh is still talking about it. I'm still wondering about it. And I'm sure our guests that visited are curious as well.

I went to clean Phil and Linda's and I'm not real sure why but I was never really able to get myself together that morning. I'm not sure if it's that I've stopped drinking my normal dose of coffee or what. But I left Linda's with the intent to head to Safeway. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how I was supposed to get there. It was the weirdest thing. I did end up getting there but I'm pretty sure I took the longest way there possible. And once at the grocery store, I didn't know what I was getting there. I went home with a pizza and a chicken.

And then there was yesterday. Sundays are pretty crazy anyway and yesterday was no different. This month it's our turn to work in the nursery. 6 babies ranging from 4 months-8 months was a little crazy. Because if one cries the others chime in as well.

Lack of sleep has been a bit of an issue. I know I could be sleeping now but I don't sleep well during the day.

Four things that rocked my world in the last three days though...

A phone call from my sister, Megan on Friday.
A magazine subscription from my SIL, Treena on Saturday.
Time spent with Trevor and Megan last night.
A visit from Amber this morning.

The Lord knows just who and what I need. I'm blessed. A lil scatterbrained but blessed.

Warning: Collect Calls will Drain your Life Savings or Take your Firstborn

hmm...the latter might not be so bad...

A few weeks ago I did a dealer trade for a local car dealership. This is where I pick up a rig from them and drive it to another dealership, drop it off, and then return with another. Have I told you I do this?

I've only done it twice and I love it. I get to take my kids. I get paid. And I love to drive.

The downfall is that I don't have a cell phone and that proves interesting at times.

This last time being one of those times.

I had to call Josh while I was in The Dalles to tell him I was going to be late and that Jaylee had just puked in a 2009 Dodge Journey that only had 21 miles on it when I got in it.

Oh.Boy.

My calling card was out of the question since it had expired, so I had to call collect.

I got my bill for that collect call yesterday.

$44.97

Yes, you read correctly.

My 6 minute call to Josh cost me a week of groceries. For real.

I called and tried to get out of it.

I didn't succeed.

I will never make a collect call again. Lesson learned.

The hard way.

Oh, Summer, the things I do for you

In hopes of warmer weather I did the unthinkable.

I thought that maybe just maybe if I...

I kept thinking, "if I do this, surely summer will come. Surely I'll be able to sport a pair of shorts and some flips."

But no.

I was wrong.

My winter legs are gone. I'm having to keep warm by bundling up. My winter legs kept me toasty. Itchy but toasty.

I shaved my legs for you, Summer and still you are not here.

Sigh...

Comfort Zone Shmomfort Zone

They are so overrated.

I pulled on the same ol' clothes to head to bible study this morning. Deciding, "who gives a rip?" Well, besides me of course...

The bible study isn't at my church. It's at the church I used to go to. I was nervous because it's been awhile since I've been there and there are many new people that I wouldn't know. It was so nice to walk in and have people be excited to see me. Thank you, Debby! Thank you, Nora! The mamas of two of my best friends love on me as if I were their own. It warmed my heart and my nervousness subsided.

I got to the church early, naturally. That's how I roll. And when free childcare is involved well that's how I roll even more so! =)

The study is on Esther and it's by Beth Moore. This is my first Beth Moore study and I'm pretty stoked.

We broke off into groups and my group is full of postpartum women and a handful of women that have grandchildren already. Our group leader wanted us to go around the room saying why we were excited to be there. These women are wonderful. Some want to go for the accountability, some to learn about Esther, and then it gets to me.

Why am I excited?

"I'm looking forward to the 2 hours of childcare."

Yeah, I said it.

Outloud even.

This isn't pretty, I'd leave now.

You've been warned.

I'm going to a bible study today. I was looking forward to it. Until this morning. Until right now. Until I realized...yeah, I don't have anything to wear. It may sound silly but I don't.

And I have no one to blame but myself. And that's no fun. Life is sooo much easier when we can blame someone else.

If I were thin, I'd have two tubs full of clothes I could be wearing. Cute. Fun. Girly clothes. Instead, I have frumpy hide my fat clothes that aren't really doing their job. I don't want to go out in public. I want to stay here and load up on bon bons.

But I'll go.

Frump and all.

Pictures for Phil

Some random art in Lake Oswego. My husband isn't normally a fan of me touching behinds unless it's his behind, but this time he didn't care. Especially since I was too short to actually touch it and because it wasn't a real person, in case the headlessness wasn't a clue... Alison and me, my SIL, niece and Jaylee.

We ate at PF Chang's for the first time this weekend. De-lish! This was our dessert glass that had chocolate cake in it. Had...it took me all of 2.5 seconds to clean that puppy out!

Our little family in front of PF Chang's.

There ya go, Phil. =)

His Eyes

I watched a basketball game this weekend where third and fourth grade girls were teammates.

There was one girl who caught my attention. A girl who touched my heart. A girl who clearly did not fit in.

She didn't have the same stylish shorts the other girls wore. She didn't have the same name brand shoes, either.

Her hair was disheveled. Her face held no expression. She was there. She just wasn't there.

Toward the end of the game, standing just outside the gym doors was another young girl, identical to the girl on the court. Same hair, just a bit lighter, younger, with more expression. Probably because she'd yet to feel the hurt her older sister had. Growing up sometimes sucks. Next to her, I could see another little girl. Finally, the mother brings all her children into the gym. She's carrying a little boy and two girls trail her, one pushing a stroller with another child inside.

Five children.

Before I even see the girl's family, while she's on the court, I remember third and fourth grade. I hated third and fourth grade.

Hated.

If you aren't the girl who has the right clothes, shoes, backpack, etc. you don't fit in.

Then, when Mama walked in with four more children, it was obvious she didn't fit in. Five kids.

Five.

I'm sure every eye was on this mama while she walked in front of everyone to get to her spot in the gym. Each mind wondering, why, if she can't afford to buy them the latest trends, would she continue to have more? They passed in front of us quickly. But they were on my mind, my heart all day. Still. Part of it is because I wonder if that's how people viewed my single mom raising my two younger sisters and me. Did people wonder why she continued to have kids if she could barely support us? Did people pity us? Did people snub us? Did they roll their eyes?

Yes.

But they also didn't know my mom's situation.

I don't know that mama's situation.

But He does. He knows her situation. He loves that mama and her five babies. He sees them and loves them, adores them. He doesn't care about their clothing, their shoes, He cares about their hearts. He cares about what people think of them because they are His. He doesn't look at that mama and sigh or roll His eyes.

I didn't talk to her after the game. I wanted to. But didn't. I wanted to encourage her. Bringing four young kids into a small gym takes some...stuff. Big stuff. Just taking my two kiddos out and about is tiring at times. I wanted to tell her I thought she was strong. Again, I didn't. It's sad how easy it is for me to wonder what other people will think of me talking to a stranger. I'm embarrassed of myself. Ashamed.

I want to see people the way He sees. Whether rich or poor. I want to love as He loves. And that requires getting out of my comfort zone.

To grow, I need to be out of my comfort zone. To be like Jesus, to see like Jesus, I need to be more into Jesus.

Rule Breaker

I'm here! I'm here!

Oh, you didn't notice I've been gone?! pffft.

I've been tagged. Which is fun. But I'm not going to tag anyone specifically. I'm inviting all of you to do this fun, short meme. And if ya do it, let me know!

Four Places I Go Over and Over and Over

To the refrigerator
To the computer
Safeway....because there's a Starbucks inside.
and Crazy

Four People Who Email/IM Regularly

Treena
Treena
Um Treena
and oh, Treena

Four Places I Like to Eat

Red Robin
El Valle
PF Changs (just found this out, yum-o!)
McDonald's (what can I say, I'm a cheap date)

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

Back in Tigard (our time was too short!)
Hawaii
New York
and any sort of road trip

Four TV Shows I Could Watch Over and Over and Over

Friends
Saved by the Bell
and I think that covers 'er. Not a big tv watcher and the 2 shows I could watch again and again aren't even on anymore!

So, there's some random stuff about me. =)

We were away for a couple of days to go visit Josh's sister, Treena. I could spend forever there. I'm not the biggest city fan but being with them is one of my favorite things, ever. I also enjoy buying things without paying tax, gotta love Oregon for that! We watched my nieces play basketball, ate, laughed, burped, laughed some more...drove around Lake Oswego looking at some interesting art. I'll post pictures later (Phil!) that we took.

It was a fun trip and I look forward to going back soon. Like in a few weeks soon. =) Ready for a road trip, Denise?

It's time for this girl to go to bed now. Remember, if you do the meme, let me know!

Never say Never, That's what I'm Learnin'

Before Josh and I had kids we were amazing parents.

No, really. We were.

We'd never give our kids soda until they were 13. We'd never let them sleep with us. We'd always be on top of every disobedient action. We'd never let them say this or do that. And for sure we'd never let them eat dog food.

And then we actually had the kids.

And it's a whole new ball game.

The things we said we'd never do, many of them, most of them, heck, all of them...we have. Some things we didn't do with Jaylee, that we have with Alison. I have people in my life quick to point them out. =) A baby gate being one of them. We didn't use a gate with Jaylee. For the most part when Jaylee was Alison's age, she was obedient and not too curious about why she was being told no. Alison, oh, Alison...just this morning she fell down the first step in our entryway from the kitchen. Ugh! And I don't want a repeat of this so a gate will be put up now. I also wake Alison up occasionally when she's sleeping, just so I can hold her. That age old rule about not waking a sleeping baby...I haven't followed it so well sometimes. When Alison was tiny I did just because when she slept was the only time it was quiet. But now, now that she's easier, I like to just pick her up and smell her and nuzzle her and squeeze her til she squeaks! =) Another thing we didn't do with Jaylee was leave her in her carseat, if we went places, she rode in the carseat but we immediately took her out of it when we got to our destination. With two of them, especially in the beginning, it was easier to leave Alison in her carseat to run in and grab coffee or go into the bank, rather than try to make sure her head wasn't going to roll off while I fumbled through my purse, held onto my three year old and opened up doors or grabbed some groceries. Now that Alison sits up and holds herself while I hold her, we don't use the carseat as much to lug her into places.

I understand that I sound lazy. And I'm totally okay with that. I'm learning to be okay with the fact that I was wrong about some stuff. Most stuff. Everything. I'm learning. Learning to not take myself so seriously. Learning to be easier on myself for things. Being a wife, a mom, a woman isn't an easy deal sometimes, rather than kick myself for everything wrong thing I said or did, I'm figuring out (finally!) to just let stuff roll. And learn from it.

I also said after Alison was born and cried for almost three months that we'd never have another one...

Who knows, maybe I'm wrong there, too.

Her First Christmas

I love this kid.

That'll teach me

Sigh.

Heavy sigh.

A few minutes ago Jaylee comes in with something in her mouth. I ask her what it is and she tells me, "food."

Um, duh. (Didn't say this out loud, just thought it all grown up like.)

It wasn't just any kind of food. It was Shadow's food.

She asks if she can spit it out and I told her no. That'll teach 'er!

She leaves. Comes back. Sits herself in her princess chair and she has a little bowl full of snacks. I look down and see that her lil bowl is filled with more dog food.

See why I sigh!?

Dear Dog

You are a guest in our home. We have fed you and watered you. Let you out when you needed to do your thang and let you sleep on our couch while your parents have been away.

All we ask in return is that:

When you are done with the 5 magazines and 1 pair of shoes that you tore apart all over the living room and then proceeded to eat, that you'd please not puke them up in pieces but whole as you found them.

Thank you, kindly.

Sarah

Just Call us Monica and Chandler

If you didn't watch Friends or don't own all the seasons (like I used to before I GAVE THEM AWAY) then you may not understand at all what I'm about to talk about. However, I think Corie will fully know what episode I'm talking about. =)

On New Year's Eve we were asked to chauffeur some friends to their 25th anniversary party. They were hoping to rent a limo but strangely many limo services either don't operate in the winter or they were booked. Fancy that.

The Josh and Sarah Limovan is always available though, so we took our friends to the party held in their honor. Phil and Linda are the couple I clean for, the couple whose yard during the summer we take care of. In Phil's terms he is 70 in round numbers and Linda is 60 in round numbers. They are two of my favorite people in all the world. Seriously. He is an ornery sonofagun and she's a hold nothin' back kinda lady. She's generous. So generous. Phil picks on me and I pick back.

The Saturday after Christmas is when I offered our Limovan services. Phil warns me his son will be at the party and that his son is just like him. Oh, Lord, not two of them!

But oh, yes, there are two of them.

Josh and I had a wonderful, wonderful time with their family and friends. Even his son. But mostly his son's wife. =) We chatted with the two of them and their two teenage daughters for a better part of the evening. We were given a peek into the last 25 years of Phil and Linda's marriage and saw how much they are loved by their children and their friends.

After we left and dropped Phil and Linda off, Josh was saying how much he really enjoyed Andy and Teresa. In a short amount of time we felt like we clicked with them and would easily consider them new friends.

And then I reminded Josh of when Monica and Chandler returned from their honeymoon and how they thought they'd made friends with another couple on the plane but the couple had given them a wrong number and in reality were pretty scared of them and made up as many excuses as possible to never hang out with them again.

After reminding Josh of this episode, yeah, we're thinking maybe Andy and Teresa are like that couple on the plane and Josh and I are Monica and Chandler.

Nice. Real nice.

A New Year filled with more resolutions I'll never stick to. Sweet.

Happy New Year! Or as Josh says, "Happy Nude Year!" (the guy can hope)

Every year he says that.

Every year.

And every year I laugh.

I checked my archives to see my 2008 resolution and I think...think I can say that I did become maybe a smidge more quiet. Definitely times I could have been even more quiet but then definitely times I held my tongue. Thank You, Lord, for teaching me!

After our spiel last night (more on this later) Josh and I came home, went upstairs, and even though it was after 2 am, we just chatted. He has the day off today so I asked him what he wanted to do with his day off. He didn't really have any ideas so I told him we could write out our New Years Resolutions.

"Do we do that?" he asks.

I always do. Obviously he doesn't. And just because I do, doesn't mean I ever follow through.

I still think it's important to have goals. Whether we accomplish them or not. It's always good to have something you want to work on. Pretty sure about 90% of people want to lose weight. Definitely on that bandwagon (and sure to fall out of that wagon at any moment) but this year my resolutions are a deeper issue for me than my extra 20 lbs. Though if any of you would like to take a pound or 12 from me, I'm willing to share. 'Cause I'm nice like that.

In 2009 I want to be content.

Yuck, I said the word aloud. C-O-N-T-E-N-T, content. Content. Mr. Webster (circa 1700 edition) says content means to be happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied.

Satisfied.

Yeah, I'm not. It seems I can always think of something else that I just neeeeed. But I don't. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear and a family that loves me. I need nothing. Life is good, folks, life is good. I just need to focus on that instead of all that stuff I neeeeed. I want to love this house my husband provides for me. I want to love this crummy town we live in and be thankful that besides Treena, all our family lives within 60 miles of us. I need to be thankful that even though my house isn't huge, it's comfortable. And in every room my husband has busted his knuckles to make it better for me. I need to be satisfied that my bills are paid and I still have some money leftover to buy coffee. Maybe not everyday or twice a day but enough. There are folks all over this world that have so much less than I do. I need to remember I am one blessed chick.

I can think of one way where not being satisfied is good. And that's my relationship with Jesus. I'm not satisfied there. I need to be more into Him and less into me and the things of this world. I'm not satisfied with the amount of time I spend with the only Father I have. I'm not satisfied that I sometimes push Him to the back burner because I just have to get this or that done before I dig into His Word. The bible study we attend on Sunday nights with Trevor and Megan, I don't talk much. This week Trevor asked me about it. I don't say much because I don't know much. And after being in church for 14 years, there's really no excuse to not know my bible. To not know my Jesus. I'm not satisfied. I will be changing this.

Another area I want to work on is acknowledging the good I see in women in my life. Whether I know them IRL or just through this black box. And when I acknowledge it, not compare myself to it. Just enjoy that the Lord has made us each different to help each other, to complement each other. I want to stop thinking that just because one woman does something better than me (in almost every way) doesn't mean that I'm no good. It's very easy for me to pick all the bad stuff out about me instead of seeing something good. (I tried to pinpoint something and couldn't!) So, here's to you. Women in my life. Some of you may never read this but I want others to know you are amazing.

Treena is amazing at keeping her house, she starts a project, she finishes it. You can count on her. She gives good gifts and then just keeps giving them. Amber, is a helper. You need her, she's there. You don't have to ask, she's just there. She helps, she does what needs to be done without you saying what you need. Megan is encouraging and loving and says the right thing. Emily and Gayle have four children each, homeschool them and seem to keep their sanity. Kristie works full time, has a husband and three boys, is involved with her friends, her church, her community but still has the time to shoot me an email telling me she loves me and to have a great day. Denise...her and I are polar opposites in so many ways, yet so alike in others. She encourages me in my wifely-ness, makes me laugh and helps me to see good in me. She's sincere and she's honest and I love our conversations. My mother-in-law. I don't even know where to start with this woman. This last week she has shown me what it means to honor thy mother. She has been a rock(star) for her mom this week and I am awed by her love for her mama.

Another resolution would be to enjoy my girls more. Lately I feel like I live for the day to be over. That I'm counting the hours til bedtime. I hate that feeling. I want to love them and love our craziness. I want to smother them with love and kisses. I want them to know that I think they rock and I'm proud to be their mama.

And last but not least, I'm choosing to be a helper to my husband. I don't want our marriage to be stale. I don't want to go through the motions of being man and wife. I want to enjoy growing old with this man. I want for him to feel he's the luckiest man on earth. I want to love him and love our craziness. I want to smother him with love and kisses. I want him to know that I think he rocks and I'm proud to be his wife.

Really glad I have a year for this 'cause I'm pretty sure it's going to take all 365 days.

What are your resolutions?