First Hair Cut

At 3 and a half I decided maybe just maybe it was time to get this kid's hair trimmed. And of course you always need "coffee" before gettin' yer hair did.

Not 5 minutes after she sat to get her hair done did she spill the hot cocoa on her clothes and got it all over her face.

Kortnie was so great with her. I can't imagine it's easy to work with kiddos. I told her not to cut much off and if her curl fell out I'd kill her. =)

"Rolling" her hair. She kept asking "Kornie" why she was rolling her hair.


Nice chocolate face, kiddo.

The finished product!

I was getting my hair done at the same time. Barbie, the girl who does my hair took this pic for us. She was so patient with me. Letting me get up every once in awhile to go take Jaylee's pics.

Josh showed up to say hi for a bit and he took a few minutes to hop in the van with us to get his coffee.

We had a hoot. Today's been fun. I always love how my hair looks after Barbie has tamed it down. =)

Savoring these moments

A couple of months after I had Alison, I remember sitting on the couch, nursing her and thinking, "just 10 more months until I don't have to lift my shirt and nurse this baby." (i was a little cranky after Alison was born)

And then last night I thought, "only two more months until I'm done nursing."

It's mind boggling to me that almost a year has passed. Where has the time gone? I know it doesn't slow down or speed up but it sure feels like it's speeding up.

Since we had Jaylee I feel like I blink and bam! six months have gone by and I can't remember what the hey happened in that time.

My life is amazing. I love it. But am I enjoying each minute? Even though I feel like time is flying by, the days can be long and tiring and I find myself thinking, "if only they slept through the night and made their own lunch and bathed themselves and lived somewhere else..." Some days I kick myself for wishing away this time.

With the direction our lives are taking at this point, I'm thinking another baby is out of the question. I'm sad. Heartbroken. Because I've hurried Alison's baby-ness. Thinking I'll have more and it's no biggie to shove her into toddlerhood.

I'm deciding to savor my moments with these girls He's blessed me with. Even when I'm running on a few hours of interrupted sleep and making the 9 millionth PB sandwich and changing that stinky diaper, and answering that question I already answered. 12 times.

Soon enough, they'll be walking out my door to live their own lives.

And I want their memories of home to be filled with love and patience from their mama.

Maybe I shouldn't question her.

Conversation with the three year old this evening...

Her: "We can make popcorn."
Me: "No, we can't."
Her: "God said we can make popcorn."
Me: "No, He didn't."
Her: "Are you sure?"

Round about

Stuff swirling in my brain.

Wondering what is and isn't okay to post.

Thinking about upcoming events in our family.

Praying for a young (22) girl in our family who had a mammogram and now has to have a biopsy.

Realizing through my Esther bible study who the person is that I'm fixated on, who I have an unhealthy relationship with. Ugly. Just ugly.

Happy to be home today just doing stuff around the house.

Sad to have missed church due to this stinking cold. Bleh.

Thankful for a loving, patient husband.

3 drafts in process. To publish or not to publish...Need husband's opinion/approval.

Dreaming of flip flops like you can't believe! Thinking on payday it's time to do some online summer therapy shopping.

Thinking about how my grandma will be 70 on Saturday.

Thankful for Linda.

Laughing at my husband. He's so corny. But I love it. I pretend to hate it. But I love it.

Thankful that he's not a quick decision maker. He's praying. Praying. And praying some more. We need wisdom and direction.

Still wondering why the Lord would allow a father to be to die before meeting his child. Some things I know I'll never understand this side of heaven.

Amazed at the faith a member of my family has even though he's facing some serious medical junk. Again, I don't understand stuff sometimes.

I can see the mole under my chin. This means I've gained at least 5 lbs recently. Whenever I can see that mole I know I've gained weight. If I can't see it, then that means I only have one chin. Obviously I have more than one at the moment.

Thinking about the days my two sisters and I shared a room. The full sized bed Erica and I used to share. The twin bed with a plastic cover Megan used to sleep in. And the giggles that would erupt over the most ridiculous stuff. With my mom yelling to be quiet already. It's one of the rare times I remember actually liking and getting along with them. I'm sure now she loves knowing how much fun we had together in such close quarters.

Which reminds me of living in the fifth wheel for those few months when I was 12. A junky, run down fifth wheel. And our little family of four never had more fun. Weird to miss it...

Realizing I could live with my small family of four in a small environment and be happy.

Oh the things to come.

Dear Kentucky

To Whom the Person is that has been enjoying my archives,

Would you like a cup of coffee and some peanut butter bars while you're visiting? I hope you've been enjoying the ramblings of my life.

Sincerely,
Sarah

That Valentine's Banquet

Sorry I'm lame and haven't posted about it sooner. We had a hoot. The Newlywed Game was a kick. My sister Erica and her husband Derek (affectionately known as Derica) played also, along with 3 other couples. My sister and Derek were introduced first, then two couples between us. When it got to us to be introduced, we were introduced as, "This is Josh and Sarah, they're related." Long pause...roar of laughter. While everyone is laughing Pastor Tom continues that we're related to Erica and Derek. However, no one heard him because everyone was laughing so loudly.

We ended up being the winners of the game! Crazy huh?! It was a blast. We loved it.

Turning off the Time Wasters

So today which is actually last night because I'm writing it tonight but posting it for tomorrow, (just a minute, I'm out of breath with that sentence...)

whew.

Okay, so I'm not going to have any contact with the black box. Or answer my phone. Or anything.

My children and my house and my scrapbook (grrr) are going to have my time.

Bad Mom

Growing up all I ever ever ever wanted to be was a Mama.

I love my mother. And even though life growing up with her as my mother was nuts, I love how she raised me. You know, for the most part. =) She doesn't read my blog, no worries.

Raising my two sisters and me on her own...well, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. I know I have my days where it can be 8 a.m. and I'm watching the clock until 5 p.m. wondering when my relief man will be walking in the door.

She didn't have that luxury.

Anyway.

For a girl who has only ever wanted to be a mama, I'm sure not very good at it. Today especially.

From about 8 this morning until about noon I was on the phone non-stop with one thing or another, trying to get stuff resolved with a couple of different things, talking to family about certain stuff that's coming up in our lives, etc. I was also on the phone and online with eBay customer support. I'm not sure I said or did anything nice with my girls in this time.

I do know that Jaylee completely destroyed my kitchen and living room in the process. I know that she begged to take a bath and I allowed her and that while unsupervised (you can call CPS now, I'll have her bags packed) she made the bathroom just as wet as she was. I shouldn't leave her unsupervised, since it hasn't been ruled out about drowning being hereditary...

She was horrible.

Alison was whiny. Clingy. Fussy. And did I mention whiny?

They were trying to get my attention. They just wanted a minute of my ever-lovin' time for crying in the dark.

I hate days like today. I hate days where I have failed as their mommy. All they want is for me to look at them, love on them, talk to them. And all I've done today is shoo them, shush them, and growl.

My house is a disaster. (Don't ask why I'm not cleaning it at the moment. I'm needing a breather.) We have a friend coming for dinner, so I know I should clean and maybe decide what I'm cooking.

I'm just bummed. I'm bummed that today my girls felt less important than every other thing that came at me. I'm mad at myself for not taking the time with them. ACK!

I love them with all that I am. They are my world. And by the way they've been treated today ya'd never know it. I hate failing. Especially in this area. I want to be the perfect mom. And I'm so not. I know we'll have good days and bad I just feel like I've been having more of the bad.

Something's gotta change.

Too Soon

When I got home from cleaning Linda's on Saturday afternoon, Josh informed me of a tragedy in our church.

One of our friends was in a skiing accident. He hit a tree and was killed.

His sweet wife is seven months pregnant with their first baby.

Please be praying for her and their family.

Love to Our Family and Friends

Little bit of this and that

Just a bit o' random stuff around our parts. Not our parts...but...well, where we live. Geesh.

1. Some conversation between the husband and I as we prepare for our thrilling event tonight:
me: "If they ask us the percentage of housework that each of us does, what are you going to put?"
(this was a question from last year)
him: "50/50"
me: raised eyebrows.
him: "that's not the right answer then?"

me: "if they ask us our favorite movie, what's mine?"
him: "Man on the Moon!"
me: "Did I drive 400 miles round trip to see Man on the Moon in theaters for its 20th anniversary?"
him: "oh. nope."

me: "so would yours be Princess Bride?"
him: "yeah, that or Gone in 60 Seconds...ooooh, OR Napoleon Dynamite. It's a classic."
me:
him: "let's go for Gone in 60 Seconds. Yeah, that one."

I'm sure we're going to just sail through this game! (so rolling my eyes)

2. Tomorrow I'm taking my mom out to Red Lobster for Valentine's Day. Next year I won't be her Valentine. I'll have a dad by then.

3. Oh, yes I will!

4. Every day at 3:42 pm a little neighbor boy and girl get off the school bus. He'll proceed to hand her his backpack, pull down his little bitty pants and pee as he walks up the driveway.

Every day. I kid you not.

5. My baby had her 9 month check up today and I got lectured for the bajillionth time about vaccinations. I'm so over going to the doctor.

6. My fat pants were a bit tight this morning. Pffft.

7. My neighbor is a teacher. I don't think she's been at school a full week all year. I want her job. Last week some of her six children were sick. They were outside playing in shorts, t-shirts and no shoes or socks. It was in the 20's. M'kay...

8. My husband is planning to get me something for Valentine's Day. I don't know what it is. This is a first. I always...always guess my gifts from him. I haven't asked because I'm scared to know. I bought him a card. And had a baby 9 months ago, that's gift enough, no?

9. This is my favorite post of the week.

10. My Esther bible study at the Naz on Tuesdays is kicking my butt. I love it. This week I've had to face some amazing fears. I'm actually overcoming some of them. Proof? I let Amber drive on our date last night. Anyone who knows me, knows that's huge. I don't like being a passenger. I have issues. So, yay! I'm getting better!

11. I took cupcakes in to Oxarc this morning for Josh's co-workers. As I walked out the door I said, "Merry Christmas." I always say that. I meant to. But I think the new guy was wondering if I was a weirdo...if he only knew, right?

12. The sun is out for the first time in ages. I was stoked. Until I pull my sunglasses out and find that they are broken beyond my husband's repair. Bugger. (the man can fix pert near everything)

13. I have reservations to go camping 5 months and 4 days from now. I've already started a list of things we'll be taking. Um, I might be a bit excited.

14. My back hurts. I'm sick of my back hurting. The doctor gave me a shot of some B12 awhile ago and it made it feel so much better. So, he sent me home with some syringes and B12 to give to myself...it's not working. (Josh almost passed out watching me shoot myself.)

15. I got out my scrapbook stuff to make Valentine cards for all (2) of my friends. Then remembered why I consider burning all that stuff. I suck.

16. My kids are so tired and totally fighting their naps right now. They are talking and laughing in there and I know that should make me happy but I just want them to sleep already!

17. I need to update my Podunk blog. Bleh.

There you have it. The randomness that is my life. As for #4...do all boys do this?! I mean, I know in the summer my husband always pees outside (he'll love finding out I told you this) but he never just pees up and down the driveway. At least not that I'm aware of....

We'll be kicked outta church for these

Oh, Lord. Ever since Josh found out we've been chosen for the Newlywed Game and that we're supposed to bring a wedding picture, he's been conjuring up ideas for our wedding photo.

Yes, we have one of our sweet little selves from 10 years 7 months ago (exactly!) but we've decided to spice it up a bit. I mean, what's a church function without a little spice, right?

So, you're getting a sneak peek. Shhh. Don't call our pastor.

So, there we have it. Our normalness for all to see. My MIL brought her wedding dress over and had I seen this thing 10 yrs ago, I would have worn it. I love it. She made it 39 years ago for $20. It's gorgeous. And it fit my pillow quite nicely! =) My FIL brought his shotgun, Josh had me draw a tattoo on him and I put on as much make up as I possibly could. I'm going to have the last one printed and framed for Friday night.

But I'll also take this one too.

A Wild Hair

No, not a nose hair or ear hair or...

Just some crazy ideas that I'm thinkin' sound pretty fun. I have a ton of them that run through my mind on a daily basis.

Here's a list of wild hairs I have:

1. Go see/meet Emily.

2. Go see/meet Gayle.
(thinking I can bust numbers 1 and 2 out in one trip.)

3. Chop off my hair and dye it.
(husband won't go for it.)

4. Drive across the country.
(checking account won't go for it.)

5. Throw away all but two pairs of shoes.
(seriously, I'm considering this.)

6. Take an entire week where I do not at all do any housework, just scrapbook to my heart's content.
(won't happen but it sounds fun!)

7. Go to Safeway, purchase Peanut Butter Cup ice cream, some Jalapeno Poppers, some Dr. Pepper and maybe a rotisserie chicken and eat myself into oblivion.
(I am taking this into SERIOUS consideration, folks. Serious.)

8. Buying my husband a gun for Valentine's Day.
(Yep, I am. That's what he wants. I may just do it!)

9. Get rid of the televsion. Once and For ALL!!
(we don't watch it, what's the point of having it?)(besides it being a convenient babysitter during cartoons?)

10. Sign up and sell Scentsy.
(I've had a party, it was awesome, and I continue to sell it...for other people. So, why not do it myself?!)

Numbers 1 and 2 are must haves for me. Must.have.

like pronto.

Number 3 won't happen til I lose me some toddler weight.

Number 7 may just happen tonight.

Number 8 isn't likely this paycheck.

Number 10 happened about an hour ago!

So, I did it. I signed myself up to sell Scentsy. I love the stuff, I really do. If you've never heard of it, here's a bit o' info. In their words...

A secret combination of ingredients is used to create a pool of melted wax, which is transformed into a wickless candle bar. Only the finest scented oils are hand-picked to give an array of aromas. The melted wax is poured into reusable containers for easy storage.

In my words: There's a bar of wax (over 80 to choose from,) you place it on top of your warmer (dozens to choose from) turn it on, the lightbulb heats and melts the wax. The wax fills your home with an awesome scent of your choice and you don't have to worry about flames, soot, wicks that burn the candle unevenly...and you don't have to worry about your kids, pets, or ahem...husbands burning themselves on the wax, should they happen to get into it. The wax does not get hot.

To sum it up in two words- Scentsy Rocks.

I'm pretty official. I have my own website. Well, at least for the first three months...since it's free! =) Check it out, let me know whatcha think.

Sarah's AwesomeShmawesome New Website

He's Calling in Sick

Our church does an annual Valentine's banquet dealie-o. We don't go. I don't know why, we just haven't gone.

Last year I guess they did this Newlywed Game that was a total riot. Rather, my aunt and uncle were the riot. I believe they ended up winning the game. Rumor has it anyway...not that there are rumors in the church...

Anywho.

Last week I get a call from our associate pastor, Tom. It's always a little scary to me to get a call from the pastor. Not sure why. I think it reminds me of school days and the principal and all of that. Not that I ever had to go see the principal...for skipping class...

Um, again, anywho...

Tom calls to ask if Josh and I would like to be among the couples to play in this year's Newlywed Game. I chuckled.

Then agreed.

I told Josh we were going to the banquet and that we were playing this game. He was fine with it until:

Sunday, our pastor was up front making announcements and was talking about this Friday and the dinner banquet and asked who the particpants were for the Newlywed Game. I didn't say anything. Didn't need to, as Tom's wife Pia, who was sitting in front of us, let everyone know we were part of the game.

Josh leans over and whispers, "you mean, not everyone going to the dinner is playing?"

I shook my head.

And I'm wondering if we were chosen, in part, to play this game because I posted this picture of us on Facebook and Pia saw it and thought we'd be a good laugh for those at the banquet...



We're supposed to bring a wedding picture. More on that later this week...

Hello, name is Procrastinating Queen

If there were only one thing I could change about myself, it would be this.

I wish I did not procrastinate!!!

I have an entire list of bad qualities. But I think this tops my list. I will do anything to not doing something right now. Did that make sense to anyone else but me?

Right now my Esther bible study is sitting on my dining room table. I cannot tell you how much I am learning and loving this study. It's been so freeing! I never realized before the tactics that Satan can use in our heads! Bleh!

Anyway...so I meet at the church with a bunch of wonderful women on Tuesdays (that's what today is, right?!) and then we have seven days to complete five lessons. Seven days to complete five lessons. So, if I started my lessons on Wednesday, I'd have plenty of time to finish only five lessons right? You know, since I have seven days to do FIVE lessons.

Um, so who has only done one lesson?

Yesterday.

Thinking I should prolly get off here and go do my lessons. And get dressed and brush my teeth. Do my hair, put on some make-up. Bathe my kid. Do her hair. Get her dressed. Nurse the baby. Bathe the baby. Dress the baby. Strap 'em into their seats.

And get some coffee.

Today is going to be glorious. And I'm not going to procrastinate. Until tomorrow.

We didn't leave home without it

Oh my word.

Last night we had a first for our family. One I'm not proud of. One I pray to God, never happens again.

We went out to dinner with Caleb and Denise (my B&SIL) and while we're there, Alison starts pitching a royal fit.

I tell Josh to give her the pacifer. It's a cure-all, dontchaknow? But he can't find it. I can't find it. He walks through the restaurant, goes outside and traces the steps back to our van, it's nowhere.

NO WHERE!

So, we get our food. Josh is holding Alison, trying to get her to calm down. People are starting to stare and I've now become the mom that honestly, I've talked badly about. I have seen people with those horrendous children and been like, "lady, why can you NOT control that kid of yours?!"

Of course I've never had the balls to say that, but I've thought it. (yes, I just said balls) Considered hitting backspace.

Changed my mind.

Anyway, Josh leaves the restaurant. His food arrives shortly after.

Caleb eats his dinner. And then he relieves Josh of his brat holding duties. Do I have the coolest brother in law ever, or what? Love ya, Caleb. Josh comes in to eat, then I took my turn with the beast when I was done eating.

I come back in with her after I know everyone is done. We have our checks, it's time to go, and my three year old niece says she's found something.

Uh huh. The pacifier.

Grrrr.

Things that make me a happy happy girl

By nature, I'm a pretty pessimisstic chick. I mean, not always. Okay, always. But if you lived where I lived you wouldn't be all happy go lucky all da time.

And yesterday as I was driving through this town that I loathe, I had to start praising the Lord for good stuff so that I wouldn't ram the vehicle in front of me that was doing 17 in a 35.

(Hellooooo, Border Patrol!!! Over here!!!!)

Anywho...

So, here's a list of stuff that makes me happy.

• a full tank of gas
• my baby crinkling her nose
• my baby sleeping through the night for two nights IN A ROW!! Praise the Lord!
• sunshine
• Coffee
• friends
• Facebook
• Esther bible study, man I'm learning A LOT from this
• forgiveness
• Coffee
• my new camera, she doesn't have a name yet and that's so not like me.
• emails from friends
• my husband taking the girls for a couple hours so I could rest
• my 3 yo praying over me when I wasn't feeling well
• late night chats on FB with Denise
• Coffee
• a full pantry
• a new razor
• heated leather seats, greatest invention ever, Lord bless that person
• an empty laundry basket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• have I mentioned coffee yet?
• plans for Valentine's Day

Short list. But it's amazing how focusing on stuff that makes you happy really can turn your mood around.

What's yer list?

Some Bloggy Lovin'

In the last coupla days I've received two awards. TWO! AWARDS!

Smokes.

The last time I won an award was in High School. And I'm not sure "Most Likely to be seen on Jerry Springer" really counts as an award...but a girl's gotta be known for something I suppose.

Liz gave me this:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

I had to ask Webster what "aggrandizement" meant. He said it's about seeking power. Nice to know that I'm not considered one who seeks this! Thank you, Liz. I do aim to find friends and to be a friend. I was just talking with one of my greatest friends tonight about how it's sad that we don't really have more of them. Being a girl is tough. And for some reason, it's tough for girls to have and be friends. (More on this another time.)

And so, I pass this award on to my friend, Emily. I haven't met her in real life, yet. We're still separated by this black box. But after reading her blog for the last year, I can say, that fer shizzle, we'll be great friends. She's wonderful and definitely deserving of an award about a girl who aims to be a friend. Love you, Emily!

Just this evening I received a message alerting me that I'd been given another award! It must be because tomorrow is 4 months until my birthday and I'm receiving gifts for being 28 and 3/4!

Linda made her own awards to give out and I got this one!!!
Wow. I don't even know what to say. Me, without words?! I know!

Saying it like it is, is definitely how I hope to roll. I don't want to be someone who beats around the bush. Just beat the bush, already! I want to know where I stand with someone. Mainly, I'm that way 'cause I'm a lil slow. =) I need things to be black and white so that I get it. I'm not good at reading between lines. I always want to have honesty in every relationship I have. Including you guys, here.

Thank you, Linda. I'm honored. Truly.

So, I pass this awesome award on to two tell-it-like-it-is girls. Two girls who tell it like it is in different ways.

Gayle, married with children. Telling it like it is as a wife and mama. The good days, the not so good days. She's real and I love it. Love her. Can't wait to hang out someday.

Amy Beth, single girl, running an amazing ministry for young girls. Telling it like it is last week in the life of a single girl committed to purity. Her posts last week, I'll be printing off to read, verbatim to my girls when they are old enough. If you have teens, pre-teens, toddlers, read up! Heck, if you're a girl, read Amy Beth's blog.

Thank you Liz and Linda. I'm totally stoked to have received awards from you girlies. And stoked to pass them on to three deserving chicks.

My Thoughts on the Super Bowl

The Cardinals were robbed. It was a total flashback of three years ago when the Seahawks played the Steelers.

Ridiculous.

I'm done now.