Dreaming of a Clean Home

It's not a dream around here. Mine is. Amazing, huh? I know!

But what I've noticed-no one ever just stops by when your house is clean. Nope, they show up the one (or twelve) days you didn't clean it.

My house smells like Pine-Sol. One of my most favoritest smells, ever. It doesn't smell like that because I merely opened the bottle, it smells heavenly in my home because I mopped the kitchen.

But will anyone just show up randomly on my doorstep today?

Nope.

Un uh.

Doesn't work that way for me.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my preggo pic. Saying how "adorable" I am...I'll be sure to remind myself of that the next time I'm nude and not feeling so "adorable".

A message from the Hoff

He also wants you to know that you can get your Valentine cards here. Your cards will be shipped Next Day, so you're sure to have 'em on time.

And if you don't need VD (that's making me laugh just a lil) cards, there are other cards available.

So, go make someone's day and "Send Snail Mail!"

You're Invited, even if ya can't make it

So, I'm hosting a Close to My Heart party. If you've never heard of CTMH, it's scrapbook and paper crafting products galore! I'm in love with it. I'm not very good at it but I love to scrapbook and I love CTMH's products. I love putting the pictures down on paper and journaling about the events of our lives. But it's not just about scrapbooking, there are plenty of other products for every other paper craft you've got goin' on!

If you wanna check it out, go here and you can browse their awesome stuff and even order if you find something(s) you like. It'll even be shipped right to ya!

I'll leave the link in my sidebar until the party closes.

3 months (or so) to go!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. I only have three months until the baby is due. Is it okay to admit I'm kinda in a state of panic?! I mean, I'm not-but I am.

Mainly I worry about the kids sharing a room.

Will the baby wake up Jaylee?
Will Jaylee try to get in the crib with the baby?
What if the baby's a boy, will he care that we've got some paisley going on in there?

I worry that I'll be feeding him/her and Jaylee will be running wild throughout the house and there won't be anything I can do to stop her.

I'm nervous about breastfeeding. I nursed Jaylee for a year but that first week, oh boy! I wanted to die! So, that has me a little apprehensive. If not for the encouragement of my husband and prayers of so many family and friends, I know I would've given up.

Lately I've been feeling the baby is a boy, but I thought Jaylee was going to be a boy and look how that turned out! :) We've picked a boy name I love, so that makes me happy. I really thought if the baby was a boy we'd be naming him just that, "boy" since we couldn't decide on anything.

Having my stomach muscles cut last March makes me nervous that my delivery won't go as smoothly as it did with Jaylee.

There are a few of my concerns.

I am excited too! Really, I am.

Should be fun to go into the hospital and lose all sense of modesty.

I'm looking forward to not having back pain from the bowling ball sticking out the front of me.

I'm excited to be able to see my feet again. Yeah, I already can't see 'em!

I'm going to love it when people ask me when my baby's due, you know, two weeks after it's born.

See, I have things I'm excited about. :)

So, here I am in all my 6 month pregnant glory. Treena, this is the shirt ya got me, it fits! And I'm wearing my glasses, since I told you guys I got 'em, I just never sported them for you.

Bear with me, I'm long winded today.

I've really been enjoying my book, Feminine Appeal.

I shared with you a few posts back about enjoying serving my husband, something I'm learning from this book.

A few years back, okay nine and a half years back...we were given a journal for a wedding gift. Inside the front cover were "rules" of the journal. It was something to write in to encourage one another, to resolve conflicts, just to say "I love you" etc. I was reading through past entries and my heart was broken.

See, for several years, I was only one who wrote in the journal. I thought Josh read it but never replied. The first entry was about three months after we were married and I wrote pretty often for awhile, then as I realized I was the only one writing, I got a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter. And my entries stopped being about how much I loved him or missed him while he was at work, and became more, "why don't you do this for me, why aren't we spending much time together, etc."

Let me also tell you that during this bitter time I was not a good homekeeper. I wasn't working yet I filled my day reading books, going shopping, do anything I could so I wouldn't have to be at home. My husband would work hard all day and come home to a messy house and no meal prepared for him. He'd been serving me all day long and I couldn't give him a hot meal?

My heart hurts remembering my foolish, selfish, childish behavior. I'm so thankful that Jesus has helped me see that in myself and has helped me to overcome it. Mostly I'm thankful for His forgiveness of my sin.

A few years into our marriage Josh started driving a semi-truck and was gone Sunday night to Friday evening. I could've gone with him but didn't. (another post, another time) We spent even less time together. My love language is quality time, you wanna make me feel loved, spend time with me!

Since he was never home, I stopped feeling loved. Things went downhill. Again, another post for another time...

Back to the journal...

One day I found the journal and considered tossing it. Why keep it if I'm the only one writing in it, what's the point? But decided to look in it, one last time.

And holy moly!

He'd written in it!

Page after page he wrote. Pouring out his heart. He'd not just never written me back, he didn't even know I'd written in it! Didn't remember the journal. He apologized. He read all my entries and could see my heart change through them. He saw that I became bitter about how much he worked and how little time we spent together.

Rereading it yesterday, this is where my heart broke:

"Whatever I do with my hands, I do for you."

The first time I read it, it didn't really hit me. But yesterday, thinking back to all the years those hands of his have worked hard to provide for me, I was in awe of him. All those cold mornings he'd be outside rolling tanks at the gas company or the year he pushed a lawn mower 12-14 hours a day, or the couple years he drove truck, shifting gears, tarping loads of lumber, hay, pipe, etc. And now back at the gas company, back to rolling tanks in extremely cold weather. And then, I remembered the pictures I took from the other night, after he finished working on my car, in freezing temperatures.


These are the hands of the man who has provided for me for the last nine and half years of my life.

These are the hands of the man who goes into the bathroom, gets a brush, and brushes my hair.

The hands of the man who busts his knuckles repairing our rigs.

The hands of the man who cuddles, tickles, rocks and disciplines our daughter.

The hands of the man who hold me while I cry for no reason.

These are the hands of the man who has served me for the last nine and a half years, without complaint.

I think now is a good time for me to start serving him. I may feel almost ten years late but I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of the next 50+ years I have of serving him.

Simple Date Night

Before Jaylee was born Josh and I went on dates a lot. It was easy to. We could just decide we wanted to go and that was that.

Now that she's around it's been quite a bit more difficult. Finding a babysitter isn't the easiest thing for us to do. Sure my in-laws aren't far from us, but it doesn't take long before I feel I'm abusing that privilege. For the most part, if we want to go do something, Jaylee goes along. It's not a bad thing. She's well behaved (for the most part) and she's fun to be around and she doesn't add any expense to our meals because she still eats from our plates. I'm enjoying this while it lasts!

However, there are times I would just like to be with my husband. And have all his attention on me and mine on him.

Last night was one of those nights I just wanted to be with him. But with a week til payday and no one to watch Jaylee, I had to be a lil creative.

So, I started Jaylee's bedtime routine an hour early. We read books, changed her into jammies, we played and then at 7 instead of 8, we put her to bed.

And for an extra hour Josh and I just enjoyed being together. We talked. I gave him a backrub. Then he left the room and came back with every pillow we own. He laid them out trying to make it so I could lay on my tummy so he could rub my back. It was pretty funny. Then we just sat on the couch and played Sudoku...or however you spell it.

It wasn't anything fancy. But it was free. Fun. Relaxing. Enjoyable.

And I think we'll do this more often.

Dork

That's me. Gave you the wrong address on my sidebar for my mother. She's all fixed now. So you can go stalk her.

Thanks, Erica for letting me know!

Not even sure how to title this.

Over on Liz's blog, she asked "What are some things you have said that didn't quite come out right?"

I posted my latest slip up in her comments section, hoping it's okay...

Anyway, thought I'd share my idiotness with the rest of the class.

I was talking to Treena on the phone the other night, somehow we got on the conversation of Josh and me working in the nursery at church.

I tell her, "Our pastor is a stickler when it comes to baby makin' noises in the sanctuary."

I paused. She paused. And I realized what I'd said. What I'd meant to say was, "babies makin noises in the sanctuary."

My, how a little wording changes everything...

Possible Mistake...

But I added my mom's blog to my sidebar. She posts quite sporadically (remember that word from Clueless?!) and I'm a little worried what you may learn about me from her. Disregard anything she may say that would cause you to not come back here.

Listed below are some reasons not to visit her blog...

-She can be delusional.

-Pretty sure she's on meds half the time (possibly all of the time)

-She can only see out of one eye, seriously!

-She's warped.

-Her sense of humor...well, it's definitely her own...

-Her name is Arla. Not Carla, not Darla, not even Marla. It's Arla. Who names their kid that?

Reasons to visit her blog...

-She is my mother, so that in itself makes her amazing.

Cloth Diapering

Any of you amazing readers out there cloth diaper your child/ren?

It's something I considered with my first but had quite a few negative reactions to it, so I didn't do it.

Now, realizing we've spent about $1400 in diapers for Jaylee, I'm thinking it's something I should look into more seriously. Negative opinions aside...

If you did do it or are doing it, any frugal advice about cloth diapers for me?

While on Hiatus

So, remember when I got rid of the internet? Oh, how I do...

While I was gone I never told you about one of the greatest moments of my life of 2007. Do you remember in 1987, when Johnny got Baby out of the corner? Do you? Oh, how I do...

I may have only been seven years old but how I loved, loved that movie. My sisters and I would pretend we could do "the lift" and we'd put on dresses that flipped up as we spun around. Oh, the 80's...

So, 2007 marked the 20th Anniversary of Dirty Dancing. Amber loves the movie as much as I do. When we found out it would be playing ON THE BIG SCREEN in select theaters we were quick to find out where the nearest one from us would be.

200 miles away.

Uh huh, we went.

Childless.

Husbandless.

It was amazing.

We left about 10 hours before the movie started, even though it was only going to take us about 3 to get there. We went to an outlet mall and found ourselves in Claire's, the hair and ear accessories shop, you know-for girls 13 and under. It was as if we were back in 1987. I couldn't get enough of the place. I bought this really large, neon green belt and wore it over my shirt for the rest of our trip. The girl working in the store wasn't our biggest fan. We had told her we came into the store to get out of the rain, part way through our shopping experience she informed us it had stopped raining and we could leave.

But we're having fun in here!

We went to lunch at Red Robin. Made up stories about the people at other tables. Don't judge us, you do it, too.

We still had a few hours to kill, seriously. So, we found ourselves at a Walgreen's. Where I found a Grey's Anatomy board game for under 10 bucks! Along with some candy for the movie and other random junk. We were thrilled! Thrilled, I say!

We parked ourselves at the theater and still had two hours to wait. So, we did what most people do, we measured our noses with the Rolos we'd bought And we played the board game til there were no more questions to answer.

And then...then came movie time! We get our drinks and our popcorn and we sit ourselves in our seats and basically we squealed with delight. And we weren't the only ones there. However, we were the only ones who had driven 200 miles. When the movie came on everyone screamed and clapped and I think I may have had a tear in my eye. It was the best experience of my life.

Watching that movie on the big screen was incredible!

Why'd I post about this today? I dunno. Probably because I have nothing else to write about and I remembered this wonderful story was never told.

Well, at least this pregnant-brained girl doesn't remember telling the story...

Bits and Pieces

For those of you who not only read blogs but blog yourself, do you find yourself with a million half-written posts in your head, things you'd like to say, but just can't quite form an entire post about it?

So you have bits and pieces.

Say...ya wanna write about the new tennis shoes ya got, but you also wanna talk about giving birth without drugs, or how your husband took your daughter for a couple of hours so you could sleep but instead you scrapbooked, or possibly about how the Lord has laid on your heart to see your child as a blessing and not a burden, or maybe about how you were 3/4 of the way to church yesterday when you spill your mocha all down the front of you (and they already think you're a dork because you came to Mom's group on the wrong day) and how baby wipes are a miracle worker when it comes to removing said coffee from your pink shirt?

Ever just have those random half-written posts in your head?

Yeah, me either. But I was just curious.

Yeah, I have nothing. Nothing to say. Nothing to write about. But I wanted to at least post and let ya know that.

'Cause that's how I roll.

Forgot to Mention

That my no-longer-working-because-i-am-pregnant-brain also malfunctioned at Target yesterday.

I get out to my car after spending too much time (and money) and realize my car door is wide open. Yep. I left 'er open. Nothing was stolen. Thank goodness. Would have been tragic to lose the kid's carseat and the 37 cents I had in the ashtray. I wouldn't have minded the Bible being stolen because I figure whoever stole it needs it more than I do. But, guess the Lord thought I was still needing it, because it was still in the passenger seat. And since I gave the Rice Krispie treats to Pastor Tom, I didn't need to worry about those, they were already gone. The stereo wasn't there but then again, it wasn't there before I went into Target.

Since I didn't get to eat any of those treats yesterday I decided I'd make myself some today. I thought to myself that I'd make them and eat them before Josh got home, then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about eating them because he'd never know I made them. You know how it works, if no one sees you eat an entire pan of Rice Krispie treats, it never happened. But...he walked in for lunch right as I was putting them in the pan.

Blast.

Pulling out the Pregnant Card

Even though I'm Whiner of America and really good at getting my husband to do things for me that I could so do by myself, while I'm pregnant I don't believe in doing that.

I don't say, "I can't do that, I'm pregnant." Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I don't say, "I'm sick of peeing every 15 minutes, can you go for me this time?" Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I also don't say, "I can't change the litter box, I'm pregnant, you're going to hafta do it." I probably don't say this because we don't have a cat.

Anyway, I try really hard not to be a baby while carrying a baby. Josh commented on it the other night, so I was glad he noticed.

However, after the dumb thing I did today, I'm so pulling the Pregnant Card.

Our church has a Mom's Group thing that meets a couple of times a month. I've never been. I make the excuse that we live about 40 miles from church and it's so hard for me to go, blah blah blah...when, in reality it's because I'm skerd. I love these girls. I take care of some of their kids when Josh and I serve in the nursery but I still get nervous about the small group setting, where I may be asked questions about how often I read (or in my case, don't read )the Bible. I'm skerd they won't like me. I have a tendency to show my true colors too soon after meeting people (and I wonder why I only have Amber for a friend...)

Anyway...

I decided on Sunday, after I got the little postcard handed to me, that I would go this week. I'd make a trip of it. Go to Bible study, go grocery shopping, take Jaylee to lunch, possibly stop in at my mom's work and say hello, etc. Today, I'm all pumped. I get up. Get dressed. And I remember, "if you feed them, they will like you." so I proceed to whip up some Rice Krispie treats.

I drive the 40 miles to church. Walk in with Bible, purse, kid and treats in hand. Pastor Tom was sitting at his desk, singin' away, sees us and greets us. I ask if the ladies are meeting downstairs.

"Uh, Sarah, that was yesterday."

I, feeling a bit sheepish, say, "okay, here's some treats, see ya Sunday!"

He didn't let me leave. Talked to me for a bit, says he'll only take the treats because there's a home fellowship meeting that night and it'd be great to have the treats, blah blah blah. I know he's thinking, "you're a moron, can't believe you came on the wrong day, especially when my wife gave you a postcard that clearly states the women meet on Wednesdays not Thursdays."

But he didn't make me feel like a moron, he was nice, pastors are s'posed to be dontchaknow?

Yep, this is me, pulling the Pregnant Card. Can't help my retardness, this baby is sucking my brains out.

I wrote my post yesterday and left the computer. Kristie is always so great about commenting on just 'bout every post. By the time I'd gone to bed last night, she'd not commented.

I was out of bed before 5 this morning. Holy cow. And some of my first thoughts were about yesterday's post. I had sat here and typed away, mainly for myself, getting my thoughts out but this morning I was thinking that maybe I was sounding like a whiner. I came downstairs and decided I'd delete the post. You know, 'cause if I deleted it from my archives then that meant surely no one had already read it...

Uh huh...

But I come down here, check my email and in there are three encouraging comments on yesterday's post. It was so nice to be reassured that y'all know me and know that I wasn't complaining but venting what was on my heart. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for praying for and encouraging me.

I love you guys so much!

***************

In other random Culver news:

I've talked about it plenty of times. Housework is not my strong suit. I kinda enjoy it but usually fall so far behind in it that it becomes a huhuhuge chore. I get overwhelmed and the result is often my amazing husband helping me to catch up.

This has not been the case.

I've not used my dishwasher in two days, yet I have no dirty dishes in the sink. I've been doing them by hand! (I know, Mom, you're wondering if I'm ill) I've been doing them throughout the day, so there aren't many to do at a time. I can listen to music, talk with Jaylee, stare out the window and just enjoy my hands in the nice warm water. It's been relaxing!

Laundry, oh my, the FAPA part (fold and put away) is usually something that doesn't get done. I'll wash and dry a load of clothes. Throw it on my bed and start another load. During this time the dog has found herself a nice warm bed. I'll do 10 loads of laundry in a day because I fail to complete just one load a day. I see this huge pile of clothes, that were clean mind you, but are wrinkled, now covered in dog hair and there are so many of them I don't want to FAPA them.

Early last week I caught myself up. And have since kept up. I've washed, dried and FAPA'd one load a day since. We came back from Portland and within 10 minutes of being home I had started a load of laundry. It's been kinda nuts. I've just been so thankful to the Lord for giving me a desire to keep my home, I've been praying for it and He answered.

Sure, I'm probably nesting but it's getting addicting and I'm enjoying myself.

Been where I have been? Ask Jesus for a desire to enjoy the dishes or laundry or cleaning the bathroom. It may take a while to see a change in yourself but it'll happen.

That Prayer Request

Thank you to everyone who's praying for our family.

I think I'm just going to go ahead and say what I was requesting prayer for. I didn't in the first place because I was fearful. I'd had a bad day. I mean, it was good. But I felt like I was failing as a believer.

I'd decided on Sunday night that I was going to do my devotions on Monday. It's been a long time and I need to get back into that. I was looking forward to it.

Was.

I called Josh yesterday morning about something or maybe he called me...I can't remember and it really doesn't matter who called who, huh? Anyway...

While we're talking he tells me he wants to start a Bible study in our home.

Wow.

I was thinking, "is this really my husband I'm talking to?" I truly believe my husband is an amazing teacher. He would tell you that he's not. He feels a lil like Moses. But if you've ever read anything by him, like this here, or heard him explain something, you know he has a way of painting a picture in your head and making things clear.

SO...I totally think it'd be awesome to have a Bible study. But I worry about if we'll really follow through, if people will really come, etc. And then after my devotional time yesterday, I was bawling. I had opened up my Bible. I read a chapter and realized that I had no clue what I'd read.

And I remembered why I don't have my devotions regularly. I feel completely lost. I feel dumb that I don't understand what I've read and I wonder how I'm supposed to get to know Jesus better if I can't understand His Word.

Devotional time yesterday just wasn't a good time for me. The entire time I was thinking, "how can I be a helper to my husband and this Bible study if I don't know anything about the Bible?!"

I want to know Jesus. I want to follow hard after Him. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him. I want that close intimate relationship with Him. I want to have people talk to me and be able to respond to them and know that it's words of wisdom, not just spew from my mouth. Because you talk like the One you talk to. The better I know Him, the better I'll be able to talk to others.

Anyway.

So, I would still appreciate your prayers. Please pray for us to pick a day to have the study. Pray for people to come. Pray for me to be a helper to my husband. Pray for a direction in what to study.

You know, just those few things.

Prayer Request

There's a thing. Yeah, I don't know what else to call it. And since I'm not where I can share about it yet, I'm just going to ask you to pray for my husband and me.

Just pray for us.

Okay, thanks! :)

Can't sleep, here's why.

For five nights now I've tossed and turned. The turning part isn't so easy lately since my belly gets in the way. Here are some random thoughts that can keep a girl awake even when she's dead tired.

-did I love on Jaylee enough today?

-gas prices, holy heck, I'm so tired of the money spent on gas.

-my house has been clean for over a week. Really clean. It's really weird. I know that normal people keep a clean house all the time, me...not so much. My mom says I'm nesting, I'd like to think I'm finally growing up and taking responsibility for my home.

-the closet we'll be building in the kids' room (man, it's weird to have kid be in plural, I'm going to have two of them soon!) I keep designing the inside of the closet over and over in my head.

-sugar. My midwife told me I need to cut back on my sugar intake. That's rough. This morning I had to ask the Lord to help me get through my bowl of cereal without sugar.

-our Beagle. We're leaving for the weekend and she can't go. No one wants to keep her for us and I can't say as I blame 'em. I can't stand her either. But I'm panicking because we leave in a few hours and I've yet to know what to do with her. Thinking a trip to the pound....(just kidding, Melinda)

-embarrassment over having things others don't. I've been feeling guilty over what I have. Is this right? Is this the enemy just pestering me?

-two kids? Really? What were we thinking? Jaylee is two and a half. And lately she's been showing her true colors. Everyone tells me it's her age, she'll get passed it. But is being two really an excuse or am I failing to train her properly? How can I have another if I can't control the first?

-my dad. Sometimes I just get sad thinking about him. I really need to grow up.

-weight gain. I gained 58 lbs while pregnant with Jaylee and I didn't lose all of it. Starting to panic over that, so far I've only gained a couple this time around.

-friendships. Am I a good friend? Am I letting people down? Should I continue to make an effort with those that don't reciprocate? Honestly, I get tired of being the one to make the effort but I love my friendships and don't want them to end just because I got tired of being the one to call or whatever. How petty am I!?

-am I enjoying serving my husband? Does he know that even though I hate to do dishes, I'm thankful for the money he provides our family so I can buy the groceries to make the meals that make those dishes dirty?

-our 10 year anniversary is coming. Would it be weird to renew our wedding vows?

-labor and delivery. Pushing Jaylee out was a breeze, I had stomach muscles then. However, they've been cut since then, how will this next one find a way out!?


That's just a few of the things I have been mulling around at night. It's making me overwhelmed. I love to sleep and hate that I haven't been able to.

And on a very random side note, Happy Greysday! A new episode is on tonight! Woo hoo!

Fickle

I could never buy a fancy shmancy blog layout. I just couldn't. I like to change mine too much. Just really wish I knew how to make it all fancy shmancy all by myself.

My husband is home for lunch, suppose I should get some fixin's for him.

Hey, Mom...

Still laughing over the fishing pole. And it's been a coupla hours. Love you.

She's a Hoot

Sometimes I think if I didn't have a child or husband, I'd have nothing to blog about. Thank goodness for Jaylee today, otherwise you'd have to start visiting my archives and we wouldn't want you falling asleep at work or anything like that...

Today, I'm on the phone with Amber, and when I'm on the phone, Jaylee has this bad habit of thinking that's "free time" and she likes to do as many naughty things as possible.

Today was no different.

Amber can tell it's quiet in the house and asks if Jaylee is sleeping.

She wasn't.

I look over and she's unplugged my iPod from the stereo and is trying to stuff it into her little jeans pocket.

I tell her that that's a no-no. As if she doesn't already know. I ask her to bring it to me and she holds it up to her ear and pretends it's a phone.

"It's not a phone, Jaylee, it's an iPod." I tell her.

"Oh, HiPod!" She yells.

It's really hard to discpline your child when they're funny.

Her First Dance

Last night one of my favorite moments between Josh and Jaylee happened. My all time favorite of course was seeing him hold her for the first time. The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father. And in the first moment he saw her and held her, in his eyes, I could see his world change.

Yep, gettin' teary just thinking about it.

But last night was definitely up there on my list of faves.

Jaylee informs him she wants to dance. So, of course he obliges...you know because she has him wrapped around that lil pinky of hers. He plugs in my iPod and Alison Krauss' version of When You Say Nothing at All starts to play. Jaylee has my music talent and starts dancing like it's rap music. She's jumping all over the place to this beautiful slow song.

Josh picks her up.

"It's a slow song, Jaylee. Put one hand on daddy's shoulder and hold my other hand."

And they danced.

The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father....

I thanked the Lord that Jaylee has a daddy willing to take the time to show her he loves her.

Enjoying Serving

I received a book for Christmas, well, I received three books for Christmas but I saved this one for last because I knew that it would be one to teach me, one that I'd want to linger on awhile.

I'm only 30 pages in and I feel the Lord speaking to my heart. Honestly, I love and hate when that happens. I hate to see areas where I'm failing but love how gently the Lord shows me where I need to improve.

The author, whose name I can't think of at the moment, recalls a story of one day where, at the end of her day she realizes she had served her husband but had not enjoyed him. It was a busy day for her. He had called to see how she was doing and she spoke quickly and ended their conversation pretty fast. Later in the day she had dropped off his clothes at the cleaner, gone to the bank and some other errands I believe and then stopped at his office to let him know the rest of her plans for the day, but she kept the visit brief.

She said she realized at the end of the day, that while she had served him (clothes to the cleaners and other errands) she had not enjoyed him. She didn't take time to converse with him on the phone when he'd called her and had not taken much time for him at his office either.

How often have I done this?!

So often.

There are times where I'm so proud of myself for the chores I've gotten done throughout the day and I pat myself on the back that dinner is literally on the table when he walks in the door. But there are evenings where we'll have dinner, I'll finish my food and instead of lingering at the table to talk about his day, I'll get up and start on dishes or throw laundry in or read a book.

Yes, I've served my husband.

But I've not enjoyed him.

I'm looking forward to reading more and learning more. I'm looking forward to enjoying my husband, enjoying serving him.

Happy New Year, everyone!

We had the best time ever. Ever. Such a great night. To see some fun pictures of our night, check out Kristie's blog. I didn't take any pics with my digital camera (once again) so head over there and you can check out the fun we had.

It's 2008 now. 2007 is gone. I made resolutions last year, remember? And I knew then I'd probably only accomplish one of 'em. And one is all I accomplished. I started to write that I wish it had been that I'd grown a garden or learned to bake a pie but I'm actually proud of the one resolution I kept.

Jaylee knows her ABC's.

She'll shout them in Wal Mart for you if you'd like to hear. The lady passing by us the other day got a kick out of it. *sigh* We're now working on keeping our voices down in public. And not referring to women with short haircuts as men. 'Cause yeah, she did that. "Look mama, it's uh man!"

My Christmas shopping or handmade gifts (I didn't make any) were not done by August. I didn't quit biting my nails. I did lose 15 lbs of the 20 I wanted to lose but I guess morning sickness doesn't count for a healthy way to lose weight, now does it? And since I've gained all that back...

Bugger.

Anyway.

We were lying in bed and I told Josh that 2007 was a pretty busy year for us. My grandpa passed away, I got appendicitis, I got cancer, we went on lil mini vacations to Portland, Jaylee turned TWO, Josh walked the Portland Marathon with his sister, my grandma passed away, I got pregnant...

It was a full year. Of good things. And sad things.

But I realized I'm not a reflector. (If that's a term for a person) I don't really think about much. I'm not deep. I live each day as it comes and sadly, sometimes I don't learn from the day's mistakes that I've made.

I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to be someone who is more thoughtful. I want to think before I speak. I learned recently that that's sooo important. Words I said were hurtful. I didn't intend them to be, not at all, but they were.

I'm a loudmouth. I know this. My mom used to call me "mouth" when I was younger. I talk too much. Sometimes too loudly. And usually it's just a bunch of stuff that doesn't need to be said. I'll never be a quiet person. It's just not in me. But I'd like to be quieter. I'd like to think more and speak less.

And that, my friends is my only New Years Resolution this year.