I first published this in 2009, but have continued to update it. It's long, so you may need a nap part way through.
In June of 1980, three weeks after the eruption of Mt. St. Helens, a little girl is born to a single mama. I am that little girl and my mama was just 19.
In 1981 I would meet my dad for the first time but I would never in my 18 years of knowing him, call him "Dad".
Late Summer of 1983 my mom married my step-dad and he's the man that for the next 12 years (tho' the marriage didn't last that long) I will call "Dad".
In May of 1984, I become a big sister when Erica is born. It will be approximately 22 years before we are friends. Six weeks after she's born, we move from WA to Alta Loma, California. I meet my step-dad's mom and step-dad. My grandmother introduces me to Ritz crackers and peanut butter while watching cartoons in bed. My grandfather introduces me to Chocolate and Peanut Butter ice cream from Baskin Robbins. I believe this is the year that I fell in love with all things chocolate and peanut-buttery. Praise the Lord for 1984.
In 1985 we move to Phoenix, AZ and I start Kindergarten. I remember during a nap that I had a dream my stepdad came home with bandages on his face. When I woke up...he came home and indeed did have bandages on his face. He'd burned himself when a radiator cap busted. 24 years later, it still freaks me out I had a dream about it and it happened. I finish Kindergarten in Grandview, WA and meet a boy named Peter. He's the first boy I have a crush on and this crush will last through high school. I fall asleep on the bus almost daily and my mom always has to pick me up from the bus garage.
In 1986 my youngest sister, Megan, is born. We move to Fontana, CA and I start year round 1st grade. For Christmas my biological dad gives me a boy Cabbage Patch doll because I told him I wanted a brother.
In 1987 my sisters and I would live with my grandma and my two young aunts for a couple of months while my mom and stepdad look for work and a home in Seattle, WA. At 7 years old, I watch and fall in love with Dirty Dancing. Though I wasn't old enough to watch it on the big screen then, 20 years later I would be. We move to Seattle, my teacher eats cow tongue and it takes 45 minutes to get to school by bus. My mom has left my step-dad, I finish 2nd grade in Grandview. My new crush is Matt S. I get chicken pox and have to miss my Valentine's Party.
In 1988, I get a Nintendo for my birthday. My sister is bit by a dog. And I start third grade at the same school I attended for second grade! It's the first time I have a best friend. Her name is Rachel C.
In 1989 we move to Selah. In 4th grade I have to do a report on Hamsters and present it to the class. My first time public speaking made me sick. It wouldn't be the last time I get sick before public speaking. This is the year my dad starts sending me flowers for Valentine's Day. And also the year he will join in the force that cleaned up the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska. And for my 9th birthday he sends me Moose Slippers.
While shopping with my mother in Shop-Ko, we separate so I can buy her a gift. I have to go potty and can't find a restroom. I wet my pants. Since it's winter of 1990, my jeans steam off the car's seat when we get home. This will be laughed about til 2012. For a few months of fifth grade we move back to Grandview but then return to Selah. My fifth grade teacher is my first male teacher. In a drawing at the end of the school year I win the prize of taking home the class gerbils. This thrills my mother to no end...
I stay in Selah until a month into my 7th grade year when, in 1992, I make the decision to move back to Grandview and live with my grandma for a couple of months. I end up finishing out 7th grade in Selah, I win a prize for the best colored picture. I win a Pepsi and a Snickers bar. Still one of the best contests I've ever won.
From 92-94 we move four times. We move out of our apt. into and then out of the fifth wheel, into the Icky House and then
back to Grandview for my high school career. It's 1994 and it's the year that will change my life.
Summer of 1994 we start going to church, I give my heart to Jesus on a school bus. I have a crush on a boy named PeeWee. And I make friends with three girls who will be my best friends even 17 years later.
In 1995 my best friend, Lindsey and I attend a soccer game. Before the game starts a boy named Trevor asks me out. I have my first real boyfriend. I join Cross Country. Our church gets a new Youth Pastor. Trevor and I break up. I start dating a boy named Eric who is well over 6' tall and I decide then that the man I marry must be tall. But it won't be Eric. We break up.
One Sunday night in October of 1996 while attending evening service at our church I meet the cutest boy I've ever seen in my life. He's wearing a Cross Country shirt that's tucked into his Lee jeans, running shoes and he's sporting a flat top. I don't know his name but I tell Lindsey, "he looks like a Josh and I'm going to marry him." I'm 16 years old. We're introduced in November and start dating shortly after our introduction. I fall head over heels. He's 5'8" and doesn't really like me. We date though for a few months then he breaks up with me. I'm completely devastated and have decided life is not worth living.
Josh comes around to my way of thinking in May and we get back together. Half way through my Senior year of High School, we're engaged in December of 1997.
One month after my 18th birthday we get married. Josh buys me my first car, an '82 Honda Civic hatchback and a grey cat we name Roger. To thank him, I'm the worst wife ever. I don't cook or clean. I don't do laundry and we spend a lot of time and money eating out and going to the movies. I beg him for a baby, he says no but I gain 30 lbs anyway. 1998 was a tough year.
To celebrate our first anniversary we head to DisneyLand and Sea World and while we're there my mom calls with the news my dad has drowned. We fly back immediately. 1999 is even tougher. We buy a house, I'm 19 and Josh is 21. For Valentine's Day Josh buys me a Beagle. And I'm sure it's to pacify my desire for a baby.
Over the course of the next several years, I'm still overweight, a bad wife and bad keeper of my home. We start a lawn mowing business and I decide to lose weight using the Weigh Down Diet. This is successful and I lose 35 lbs.
In June of 2003 Josh quits his job and starts driving a Peterbilt around the Northwest. He's gone 5 days a week. I get my first real job as a barista in an espresso stand in town and make friends with a girl named Keri. She's single with no kids and I think her life is perfect. I've lost all focus on Jesus and my marriage. My life is falling apart around me.
In 2004 I apply at Pier 1 imports even though they "aren't hiring" and am given a job within the week based on my nice handwriting. I fall in love with sales and am actually good at this. I'm promoted to Assistant Manager within a few months. I can now support myself. My husband and I separate and file for divorce. I live on my own for the first time in my life and I've never been more miserable. Josh and I still talk on the phone occasionally. One night we make the decision to make our marriage work. I move in with Lindsey and her husband for a few weeks. Then in with my mother for a couple of weeks. And then back home. I recommit my life to Jesus and my heart to my husband. I quit working at Pier 1.
In 2005 Josh quits driving truck. I learn what it means to be a keeper of the home. My house is clean most days. I cook more than we eat out and the highlight of my life is the day I give birth to the most amazing little girl. We start attending a new church.
Life is going great. My marriage and my little girl are wonderful. I start blogging. I don't have many friends who live near me. That changes in October of 2006 when I get a MySpace account and reconnect with my friend Amber from high school. We become inseparable. Have acronyms for everything. Enjoy car rides singing at the top of our lungs. And I torture her with mushrooms when she comes over for dinner.
Last day of February 2007, Josh and I go out to dinner. We come home and I have the worst stomach pain I've ever had. At 1 in the morning we decide to go to the ER. It's confirmed I have appendicitis. I have an appendectomy and go home the next day. A week later I go in for a follow up and am told that when my appendix was removed so was a malignant tumor. 4 days later I have another surgery removing half my colon and 41 lymphnodes and leaving me with a 6" scar down my belly. The rest of 2007 is great. Amber and I fulfill our lifelong dream of seeing Dirty Dancing on the big screen. We drive 400 miles round trip to watch Johnny get Baby out of the corner. Josh and I hem and haw and decide in July we'll try for another baby. I get pregnant in August.
In April of 2008 our Beagle dies. Our "first born" and we realize how much we loved her in spite of her driving us insane. Exactly one month later in May of 2008 I give birth to another baby girl. And she cries for the next 3.5 years of her life. We'll never hem and haw about having another baby. November of 2008 Amber and I fulfill another dream and see New Kids on the Block in concert 3 hours away from home (and my baby), I use a breast pump that is hooked to jumper cables outside of my van. It's quite memorable and totally worth the embarrassment and any picture she may have taken.
In April of 2009 my husband quits his very steady 7-5 Mon-Fri job and we load up as a family and drive around in a Peterbilt 5 days a week. People think we're nuts but support us anyway. I find
creative uses for plastic bags, blog about it and still have friends.
In May of 2009 due to illness in the family, my mom and my sister's three children move into my home. It's one of the hardest times in all our lives. In July my best friend and I break up. I'm devastated. My mom and the kids move out. In the fall the girls and I start staying home more than we go in the truck. Truck life is hard. Hard.
In February 2010 Josh and I have a talk about his job. I can't stand him being gone. He can't stand being away from home. He's offered a job back at his previous place of employment with an awesome, tailored for him position. Rock.on. I'm still best friend-less, now sister-less too. I'm spiraling into a state of depression and a friend recommends I seek counseling. It's the best advice I've ever been given.
Through counseling I finally, after 11 years, recognize the need to grieve the loss of my dad. It's miserable and it's hard and it's the best thing I've ever done. Counseling taught me that my expectations of myself and those around me are too high. Changing perspective brought back relationships in my life. One day in July of 2010 I read a blog post that opens my eyes. Basically saying if there's anyone you need to say something to, say it. I immediately email my best friend. And after over a year of not seeing one another we meet for lunch. I'm shaking I'm so nervous and excited. I never want to be without her in my life again.
In September 2010 I begin homeschooling my five year old. It's awful, we hate it most days. It's fabulous, we love it most days. Such a love/hate deal going on.
In November we hem and haw about another baby even though we said we'd never hem and haw about it again. We pray about it. Decide to "try" and we fail. We're both relieved.
In January 2011 after being inspired by my friend Jessica, I decide to get healthy. Quit complaining about my weight and finally, after six years, do something about it. I join a gym with Amber. We go to yoga and then move on to body flow. I run my first 5K (in 14 yrs) in March. I start riding my cruiser bike to the gym and find that I love to ride more than I love to run. In July, Josh and I celebrate our 13th(!) anniversary by doing a 90 mile ride. After that he informs me it's time to start looking at a new bike. In August we go on our first family vacation in 5 years and it's hell. Josh says I never have to camp again.
I get a new bike on August 18th. I'll never ever forget that day. I'll never forget that first ride. It was short. And sweet.
In October I get hurt. My ankle is messed up and I'm not allowed to run, bike or go to the gym for several weeks. My mom announces she's getting married and moves to Vegas. Just when my ankles starts to heal I find out I have a hernia and have to have surgery in December.
We're half way through January of 2012 and I'm pretty sure that this year is going to rock my world.
All I can say is...I'm ready.
