Taking down Christmas and getting back in the groove of real life.

The Christmas tree is unornamented.  Deornamented?  Um.  You get my point.  There aren't ornaments on my birch branches.

I've kept the branches in the living room, though.

All decorations are down in the basement, neatly organized and ready to come out next December 1st.

If not for the 17 trillion Legos in my living room you'd have no idea we just had Christmas.

It's always fun while it lasts but I'm more than ready for it to be gone on December 26th.

Our Christmas morning was quiet and sweet, the rest of the day too.  We watched movies, read books, played with Legos and ate too much.

The rest of the week was spent with family and friends and while I'll miss that too, I'm looking forward to getting back to our routine tomorrow of school and housework.

I'm also looking forward to getting back to the gym.

Today in fact.  My favorite yoga instructor (who had the nerve to move away) is in town and will be in class today.  I cannot wait to see him!

I plan to sit down tonight and write out some goals for 2013.  I want to not be afraid to fail.  I want to have something to strive for.

Is Christmas still around at your place?  Are you setting goals for 2013?  

On a break

Lately I've noticed that every time I get online I'm getting frustrated or sad or hurt.  Sometimes angry even.

Certain blogs or websites.  People.  I've just been fed up.

Josh told me he thought I needed a break.

And so I've slowed down.  Let go of some things that I deemed important that are not.  Let go of some people I deemed important that are not.

Amazing what pulling yourself away can do for an attitude.  For a heart.

Less stress.  Less heartache.  Less worry.

It's been good.

I'm liking this.

just a wednesday rambling

how are there only six days until Christmas?

yeesh.

i have one present wrapped under the tree.  it's for my niece, Sareena.  i kinda wanna unwrap it and keep it for myself.

most of the presents i've purchased i feel this way about.  well, maybe not my one year old nephew's present.  i don't want to keep it.  i think Josh does, though.

i'm still waiting on most every gift.  i hate saying this, but here it is, every gift but Sareena's was ordered online.  ack.

i've found myself being very hermitish this December.  not wanting to go anywhere or be around crowds.  not wanting to be cold.

and trying to stick with this budget is easier if i'm not out and about.  no impulse shopping.

my girls each get two gifts this year.  those dream lite thingies and bibles.  i wanted so badly to get Sugar this pretty purple bible with flowers on the front of it.  but she's not a purply flowery kinda girl.  instead i found a bible with a boy and a girl on the front of it, in a jeep, in the jungle.  that's the kinda girl my Sugar is.

Pinterest has helped me figure out what my menu will look like for Christmas day.  banana splits, some sangria, some more food.  with Spice's allergies it's hard to accommodate her.  she's allergic to wheat, eggs, and dairy.  poor kid.  she gets water for Christmas breakfast.  i asked the girls if they wanted to open presents or eat breakfast first.  they both want breakfast first.  they love their food.  just like their mama.

isn't that weird, though?  wouldn't most kids want presents first?

i've always thought they were strange beings.  a coupla months ago really sealed the deal for me.  Josh and i decided to take a vacation this year.  one that does not include a tent or sleeping on the ground. (hallelujah!!)  we were thinking of taking the girls to Disneyland.  but the thought of that place gives me the shivers.  don't ask me why.  however, i just assumed it's every little girl's dream to go there and if i can provide that for my girls, awesome.  but my girls aren't princess-y girls.  not even a little.

case in point.  that up there is my youngest.  with her daddy's tools, some hot wheels cars, dirt and a worm.  this is a normal summer day around here.  i laugh when my friends with boys say things like, "boys will be boys" and describe a very normal to my house situation.

so.

when we started discussing a family vacation to southern California i thought maybe instead of Disney, we could do SeaWorld.  so i asked the girls which they'd prefer.  they both yelled, "Sea World!"  because my girls are all about all things marine.

anyway.  totally digressed from Christmas.

oops.

my girls are in the Christmas Eve service for our church.  Sugar didn't want the part of an angel, or Mary (Jesus' mama) nope, she wanted and got, the part of the donkey.  then i get a text saying that Spice is Mary and even as i type this i'm laughing so hard there are tears.  i don't know why it strikes me so funny, but it does.  they aren't speaking parts or anything (because the donkey could totally talk) but just the fact they're in a Christmas program at all is fabulous to me.  i feel so undeserving to be their mama.  yet so thankful i am.

pretty sure Spice is going to ruin it and run for the hills.  she's not so big on crowds or strangers or being more than three feet from me.

i'm happy it's nearly Christmas.  i'm happy i decided to do a Christmas break even though i hadn't planned to.  it's been nice to not feel rushed to get our school day done.  we've been baking and being lazy and baking.  yesterday was Snicker's fudge.  ohmuhwerd.  so ridiculously good.

are you ready for Christmas?  do eat breakfast first and then open gifts, or the other way around?

heavy hearted

Last night before bed I sat with my laptop and read through the names of the babies who were killed last Friday.  This was the second time I've read through the list.

I cannot think of these children and their families without losing it.

And those teachers.  So brave.

I shut down the laptop.  Closed it.

I turned off lamps and Christmas lights, locked our front door and did what I always do as the last thing before bed.

Walked quietly into the girls' bedroom.  Pulled covers over shoulders.  Brushed hair out of peaceful, sleepy faces.  Kissed baby foreheads.  And whispered in their ears that Mama loves them, ohh so much.

I stepped out of their room, dimmed the hall light and headed to my room.

Tears were flowing.

20 mamas and 20 daddies didn't get that privilege last night and my heart.  It aches.

I laid in bed sobbing.  Josh's arms around me.  He didn't say a word, just held me while I cried and prayed.

Since Friday I have prayed for these families.  For strength and peace.  For comfort.  For marriages to be strong, to make it through.  And then I've just said to God that I don't even know what these people need but asked Him to be so very present in their lives right now.

This mama's heart hurts but nothing in comparison to the hearts that hurt in Connecticut this night and every night from here on out.

Families in Connecticut, this mama in Washington lifts you up in prayer tonight.

Everything has its time

and right now is the time to weep and mourn. {Ecclesiastes 3:4}

My heart, my tears, my prayers have been with the families of the victims of Friday's tragedy.

Empty Envelopes

Tomorrow is payday and I cannot wait.

We're a two vehicle family (well, we actually have four at the moment, but let's not talk about that) and one is parked because it has no gas, and the other (my van) Josh coasted to work in this morning.

Super thankful that Josh works half a mile from home so that my van can run on fumes for him. :)

I was telling Josh the other night that I was frustrated that our envelopes were empty.  I was feeling like we failed our attempt at our budget.

He reminded me that we used the money in the gifts envelope for gifts (Chad's birthday) we used the grocery money for groceries, we had to buy gas, etc. etc.  We needed the money in those envelopes and used them accordingly.  We put $250 in savings from the last paycheck, and we also tithed 10% of his check.

The money wasn't blown or wasted or whatever.

We're down to the nitty gritty on groceries, but that's to be expected since the last time I went shopping was on November 16th.  Yikes.  (other than picking up some milk and cheese)

I'm already thinking we need to up our grocery budget.

I cancelled Netflix yesterday.  We just haven't been using it much, we grab a Redbox more often than we watch Netflix, so I'd just rather put $8 toward Redbox per month.

Josh told me last night that he's really liking how we're doing and that was so encouraging to me.

This morning we talked about Christmas presents and had agreed to spend $50 on each other.  After I figured out how his check will be dispersed tomorrow, I called him and told him I'd rather put that money in savings.  It won't be easy to not have presents to open on Christmas morning, but I had a great Christmas last year, and I'd much rather have a savings account than a present to open.  So we agreed to put the money in savings instead.

Yay for being a grown up.

I'll start doing budget and savings updates around the first of the month after this.

Life, it's not fair.

Last night we went to Trevor and Megan's for a birthday party for their youngest.  He's my future son-in-law and I love him dearly.

I don't necessarily love the fact I'll be stuck with Trevor for the rest of my life, but whatev.  You win some, you lose some. ;)

(kidding, Trevor...mostly)

The girls came home with two balloons apiece.

This morning one of Spice's balloons pops.  Immediately she's bawling.

"Iiit's not fair.  Jaylee has two balloons and I only have one.  She should give me one."

HOLD THE PHONE.

We don't do fair around these parts.  Sorry, children, Mama doesn't wanna set you up for disappointment, so let's just lay it out here real quick like.

Again.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

So I told my distraught four year old, "You can continue crying and nothing will change, you will still only have one balloon. OR, you can choose to work, make some money and buy your own balloons."

I will not raise my children believing that just because someone has more than they do that it isn't fair.  I will raise my children believing that if they want something, they need to work for that thing that they want.

Even if it's balloons.

Budget stuffs. Cutting out. Adding in. And the one thing I refuse to give up.

Yesterday I told you a little about how Josh and I have finally both agreed that we must get ourselves on a budget.

And stick to it.

That's the biggest thing.  Sticking to the blasted numbers.

Today I'll share a little about what we're changing so that we can start saving.

First to be cut out was our Starbucks addiction.  I'll be honest, a couple years ago I'd guess that we were spending nearly $300 a month on coffee.  (totally just heard and saw your jaw drop..I KNOW)  We've cut back just because over the last several months, but in the last few weeks we've cut it out almost completely.  We have gone from having Starbucks on a daily basis, to Starbucks one time per week.  On Saturdays.  Huge savings.  Huge.  And honestly, I don't miss it too much.  I've been enjoying my home brew, which is Starbucks dark roast from Costco.

The next thing I plan to do is, and this makes me slightly panicky, more so than giving up coffee, is to give up my iPhone.  I've tried this in the past.  I even tried it a couple of months ago.  I'm notorious for getting rid of my phone only to get it back again.  However, not only is that bad girl a money sucker, she's a life sucker as well.  I spend too much time playing with that thing and not enough time with my babes.  Hate admitting that, but there it is.

We're going to step up our giving. We've not been as faithful this year as we have been in the past.  Josh grew up tithing to church and we've done fairly well in doing that over the years of being married.  This last year, though, with switching churches, getting burned out, etc. we found ourselves not giving the way we're supposed to.  Both of us have felt terrible about this but resolve to do it different from this day forward.  We have found a church we're loving and have started giving again.  (side note, we're called to give whether we love the church we're in or not, however, we're finally there on a consistent basis making it easier to drop it in the box.)

I've cut back on our grocery spending.  Honestly since I haven't paid attention to the money coming in or going out, I couldn't tell you how much we were spending for groceries.  I'd guess near the $600 mark.  Ack.  Some of that is due to beer and coffee consumption because Starbucks is at Safeway and so is beer. :)  I've decided $300 cash for food for the month.  Gone are our weekly steak nights.  Boo.  We'll see how it goes...

We don't have cable or credit cards or car payments.  There's not much we can cut out.  We have Netflix for $8 a month but at this point we'll keep that.  I think the biggest thing I'm noticing is that I have envelopes designated to stuff.  Gifts.  Vehicles (tires, oil changes, etc) Clothing.  Things like that.  And there's money in those envelopes!

During the summer Josh puts in a lot of overtime.  I checked his most recent pay stub and found that he made a chunk of change just in overtime so far this year.  It made me sick to my stomach that we didn't stash that.  Instead we used it for things like eating out and coffee. And just stuff. Ugh.  Things that are not lasting.  We've decided to start adding his overtime to our savings.  Once a month if the company makes their numbers he'll get a commission of $120 added to his check. It's not a lot, and it's not a guarantee but we're going to put this in a separate savings for date nights and gas money.  If you know us at all, you know we like to drive.  I've said before that we try to get down to Portland to watch a game per season of my nieces and a beach trip as well with their fam.  These are things I just don't want to cut out.  Those girls are going to be grown and gone in no time (oh my heart hurts thinking about it) and while they still have school functions, I want to be there.  So, that small commission check will be going toward that and I'm thankful.

I'm excited for the changes in our hearts.  I've been so half-hearted about this stuff because I know that Josh was too.  This time, knowing he's all about it, has me pumped.  We can totally do this.  We can change.

And to help with accountability, I think I'll be writing about it once a month.  You're welcome.  ;)

It's high time we make grown up decisions and a budget is about as grown up as it gets

Over the years Josh and I have gone back and forth about budgeting.  We've budgeted and then we've not.  We've lived from paycheck to paycheck to having cash monies leftover when the next check showed up.

Recently Josh was telling me about one of the guys from another branch of his company.  He got hurt and was out of work for several weeks.  He had $17,000 in his savings account.  And thank goodness for it.  He ended up needing every penny.  Had he not had that emergency fund he could have lost his house, vehicles, etc.

It got me thinking.  Currently we only have a couple thousand dollars in savings.  If Josh were to be out of work for a month we'd barely scrape by on that.

What if had to be out of work longer than that?  Yes, I'd go out and apply for jobs but I wouldn't make much.  Definitely not enough to cover our monthly expenses.

We need a plan.

We need a savings.

We need a budget.

So we're doing it.  It's usually I make out the budget and Josh is like, "eh..." and so then I'm like, "eh..."  But this time we're both all in.

Other than our mortgage, we have no debt.  No credit cards, no car payments.  I'm thankful for that because we can get right to saving without having to pay off debt first.

Our first goal is to save about $15,000.  Seeing that huge number is freaking me out but I'm going to stay positive.  It's totally possible.  It's just going to take some time.  Probably two years.  Could be a little more. I'm sure if we were super hard core and only ate beans and rice for meals we could save a lot faster, but I really like food.  Lots of food.

It's only been 3 weeks but we've already saved over $500.  For a one income family, I feel this is pretty good.

I'm excited to finally, finally be making wise choices with our money.  I'm that girl that kicks herself over and over for poor decisions and I definitely do when it comes to money.  We've been extremely blessed by Josh's income and I've been such a bad steward of that money.  It's time to change that.

My kids are definitely driving me.  How can I teach them about money when I don't take care of my own?

Changes are being made.  I'll share more about those tomorrow.

Do you budget?  Do you not?  

If you or your spouse were out of work for several months, do you have a savings plan?

Chore Charts & Allowances for our Small Children

You guys had some great ideas on the post about chores and allowance.

Spice, about 1.5 yrs old.

I decided to sit down and write out the things the girls do (or need to do) daily.  This is what it looks like:

Sugar's Daily Chores (Sugar is 7)

Make bed.
Clean room.
Unload the dishwasher (this sometimes happens 3x per day!)
Feed the animals breakfast.
Sweep the bathroom floor.
Set the table for dinner.

Spice's Daily Chores (Spice is 4)

Make bed.
Clean room.
Unload the dishwasher.
Empty the bathroom garbage.
Feed the animals dinner.
Clear the dinner table.

Here is a breakdown of what they're required to do throughout the week:

For Sugar, along with her daily chores, her weekly chores look like this:

Monday:
Bring up the garbage can from the driveway.
Take out the kitchen garbage.

Tuesday:
Help Mama start laundry.
Help Mama fold laundry.
(Spice will put away)

Wednesday:
Take out kitchen garbage

Thursday:
Daily chores only

Friday:
Clean toilet
Help Mama put away laundry.
Take out kitchen garbage.

For Spice, along with her daily chores, her weekly chores look like this:

Monday:
Dust living room.
Vacuum entry carpet.

Tuesday:
Help Mama put laundry away.

Wednesday:
Vacuum entry carpet.

Thursday:
Daily chores only.

Friday:
Help Mama start laundry.
Help Mama fold laundry.
(Sugar will put away)
Clean bathroom sink.
Vacuum entry carpet.

So far I've only written this out on a sheet of paper (one time!) but plan to make a sticker chart.  They have to do the jobs whether they want to or not, but they will receive stickers when a job is completed with a happy heart.

If, at the end of the week, they have a full chart of stickers, they can pick a prize.

Redbox and popcorn night
Tea Party
30 minutes of televsion
Nintendo 64. (we're so old school)
Outing to the park
(i'm sure i'll think of more next to free prizes they can choose from)

Since I want them to learn about money, the saving, the giving, the spending - I've decided that there are certain jobs for which they can earn money.  Here are a few of those things:

Scooping the dog sh poop from our yard.  (no easy feat as there are four dogs who enjoy our yard for doing their bidness.)
Working on the rigs with their daddy.  Whether this is rotating tires, changing the oil, cleaning the inside or outside - this is a way they can earn money.
Yard work.  We have four lawns we take care of.  Our own, a widow down the road, Josh's parent's and his grandparent's lawn.  When we do work over there, if the girls should decide to help, they may earn money.
Every once in awhile my mother-in-law will ask me to clean her house for her for a few hours.  Usually I stick in a movie for the girls to watch or Josh's dad will take them on errands, but I've decided this is another way they can earn money.  If they decide to help rather than sit on their bums watching tv, they can pocket some cash.

At this point I'm not sure of the cash value of these jobs.  I want it to be enough that they'll be able to save for items they want without it taking three lifetimes to do so, but not so much that I'm killing my own bank account.

I'm really looking forward to implementing this with the girls and teaching them the value of hard work and hard work with a happy heart.  I pray that when they leave our home that they are hardworking women who know how to run a household, make money and know how to properly spend and save that which they've earned.

Work

Anonymous

Work while you work, 

Play while you play; 

This is the way

To be happy each day.

All that you do,

Do with your might;

Things done by halves

Are never done right.

Is paying your child for chores setting them up for disappointment as adults or a way to teach them the value of money?

Sugar spent the night with her cousin on Friday night.

I asked her if she had a good time and before I could even finish the sentence she says, "Sunshine has a chore chart, I want a chore chart!"

And that's basically all she's talked about since Saturday morning.

I've considered a chore chart for a couple of years now but I've never gotten serious about it.

My girls are already the primary dish washers and garbage taker-outers, and they help with laundry, vacuuming and dusting.  They also make their own beds and feed our animals.

Currently they are not getting paid for these things but are allowed to eat, sleep, and breathe here.

(As I type this I'm texting with my SIL and am thankful for her wisdom on the subject.)

The main reason I've struggled with whether or not to pay the girls for the help in running the household is because I fear it may be setting them up for disappointment.

I don't get paid for doing these things.  It is just part of running a home.

When they move out and take care of their homes are they going to expect that Mommy and Daddy are still going to pay them to take out the garbage?

On the flip side:

I want my girls to learn at an early age the value of hard work and the value of money.

So maybe an allowance and a chore chart is the answer?

However, what do I pay them for and what do I not?  Or do I pay them for everything but make the amount small so as not to break my own bank in allowance money?

This is where I ask for your advice, experience, and wisdom on the matters of chores and allowance.

What have you done or are currently doing with your child(ren) regarding chores and allowance? 

What has worked for your family?

What didn't work for your family?

I appreciate you taking the time to write your experiences with me.