Promise Kept

In June 1998, two weeks after my high school graduation and three weeks before my wedding day, I went to Mexico on a mission trip.

Around the campfire one night I felt the Lord whisper, "you will be a mother to the motherless."

And instead of being in awe over it; being filled with excitement...I panicked.

"will I not be able to have children?"

About 18 months into our marriage a doctor told me I probably wouldn't be able to have kids (not that we were wanting to at that time but there were some medical issues and this was his diagnosis) and I remembered the words of that June night.

"so, this must mean we'll adopt." were my thoughts after hearing what the doctor had to say.

Josh and I never "tried" for a baby. Our first baby was quite a surprise to us. A blessing in disguise, really. The doctor was wrong and I was able to have two children.

But over these last ten years I've wondered, "Lord, did I not hear You right?" Did I make that up in my head?"

Never really feeling He's answered, I've just left it be.

About a year and half ago our church started an orphanage in Rwanda. Beth-Ammi "House of My People" I can't remember how many orphans there are there but there are many.

Many.

Our pastor presented that we could sponsor a child for a small amount each month. I jumped on it.

Then, a group went to Africa and came home with pictures of all the children. The photos were laid out on a table and we could pick which child we wanted to sponsor. I looked them over. Overwhelmed by how many of these sweet children have no parents.

I picked a boy.

A boy named Habineza.

For the last year or so we've sponsored Habineza and sadly, there are months I write my check out of duty rather than love. Not thinking about it and forgetting the blessing that this is for me to do this.

Until I receive a letter.

The letter is in Habineza's handwriting but then translated into English at the bottom.

Dear Josh and Sarah,

Let me praise God for giving me this opportunity of writing to you and to know if you're fine. About me, I'm fine too. Home in Rwanda; concerning the school am warding well.
Again let me take this opportunity to thank you for being my parent; and I again thank now God Who has given you this heart.
Your Child Habineza

Dear Daddy and Mummy,
I greet you in Jesus' name!!!
Once again I would like to thank you so much for being continue to be my parents. Even if I am not yet seeing you by face but am ever confient with you as God has prepared you to be my parents. I even prayed for you and for all you doing so that God may continue to strengthen you and prosoper you. I would like to inform you that I have finished my academic school year and I have succeeded.
Your Child Habineza

Even after reading those letters, tears streaming down my face, it didn't hit me. It was about a month later when I was looking at Habineza's picture on my fridge and remembering his sweet words.

Bam!

"you will be a mother to the motherless."

In the second letter he addresses us as Daddy and Mummy!!!

"you will be a mother to the motherless."

I may never get to hold that sweet boy in my arms but I am confident this is the boy the Lord was preparing my heart for those years ago around that campfire.

The Lord, He keeps His promises.

the post without a title

it's been an emotional roller coaster lately in my life.  in my heart.

even though i have an amazing amazing life, there are still struggles.  some i inflict on myself, others that are actually real.

i can't recall how many times i've discussed on my blog my weight issues. 

too many, i'm sure.

but i've hit a new low.

emotionally.

saturday, i didn't even want to go out in public.  saturday we took family pictures with my in-laws.  i was disgusted with myself being in them.  saturday night a friend of mine calls to invite us to her son's birthday party for sunday.  we showed up yesterday and i could hardly stand being there.  she's so cute and thin.  wearing the most fun outfit ever.

then there was me.

it's been a while since i've been on a scale but saturday i tried to put on a pair of my fat pants and they wouldn't button.

not a good sign.

not.at.all.

***************************

i have a bff.  and lately i don't see or talk to her much and it hurts my heart more than i can say.

***************************

besides our new life changing job situation, there's more stuff coming our way that i'm not sure i'm prepared for.  i'm a selfish selfish girl.  i'm trying to be obedient, do what i know i should do.  but my heart, well she's not in it. 

***************************

treena, chad and their girls were here on saturday.  they helped us get a bunch of stuff crossed off my "to do before we're never home" list.  a bunch.  so much that i actually feel i can breathe.  it was amazing and wonderful and how do you say thank you for stuff like that? 

**************************

i have a baby sister.  she's not even close to being a baby.  she's almost 23.  i love her.  like mad.  i don't see or talk to her near enough.  i saw her yesterday at the hospital (we were visiting our new baby cousin) and my arms just wanted to reach out and grab her and pull her to me and never let her go.  but it was one of those moments when i knew it just wouldn't be welcomed.

************************

about a year ago my other sister and i finally clicked.  finally became friends.  if that makes sense...  she was living in montana and after 20+ years i finally felt like we were friends, sisters.  it was amazing.  and i hated that she was so far away.  then she moved.  to be just 40 minutes away.  and i had all these amazing plans for us to hang out all the time.  and circumstances in her life have made that difficult.  and now she'll be moving again.  to seattle.  3 hours from me.

**************************

all these things going through my heart.  feeling so sorry for me.  consumed with myself that i forget to look to Jesus.  consumed with all my issues.  consumed with my own world.  sitting in church yesterday, i couldn't even sing.  couldn't participate in worship.  then i look over.  and i see a girl my age who is 8+ months pregnant, recently widowed.  her eyes closed.  her hands lifted to Jesus.  a peace across her sweet face.  and i just wanted to kick myself.  how in the world can i be so consumed with me when this girl has been through so much and yet she praises Jesus?  i haven't been thankful to the Lord for anything lately.  i've been fighting Him with every ounce of my selfish being.

*************************

so, this is where i am on this monday morning.  it's not pretty.  but i'm documenting it.  so that when the Lord sees me through it, i can document that, too.

in case you haven't thrown up today

So, after reading Jackie's post about her fridge I was inspired.

After I show you today's picture you may ask me to never again post another picture.

I used to be that girl who cleaned out her fridge every week. Cleaned out the leftovers, washed and dried all the shelves. I hate a dirty, cluttered fridge. It makes me a little bit crazy. Plus, the more I have in there the less I know I have in there. Ya know? And then stuff goes bad before I get to it and I've wasted money. And I hate wasting money since our tree quit producing it about 11 years ago.

Anymore, when I get in the fridge, it's a hurry up, get in, get out before something crawls outta there!

Yes, I'm embarrassed to say, I pulled this out of my fridge. That's a prep bowl with some extremely moldy sour cream and two lemons that now look like oranges but are as hard as baseballs.

*shiver*

It took me an hour to clean out my fridge. Two waste baskets full of food (this included some of the containers because I just couldn't bear to open them!) two dishwasher loads of containers and a half full dumpster outside from those two waste baskets.

Can you say waste?!

It was ridiculous how much of that food would have been fine if we'd just eaten it instead of wasting. My lack of planning meals lately has gotten ugly and we'll either eat out or I'll make another meal even though we could have eaten last night's leftovers.

My fridge is beautiful now.

And if you come over for lunch I can make you some soy sauce with salsa with a stick of butter.

A Little Late to the Party

but that's better than not partying at all, right?

Fo sho.


Ultimate Blog Party is where everyone can join in on a virtual party and tour blogs and meet new peeps. I'm all about meetin' me some new peeps. Plus, you can win prizes and I definitely love prizes.

So, if you're here for the first time...Welcome!!!! Hello. Hi. How do ya darn do?! If you frequent here often, the next bit of info is old news.

To my new friends, let me tell ya a bit about myself and my sweet fam.

I'm Sarah. If this party weren't virtual, if you were actually coming to my house to party it up I'd plan a whole big shindig, make some lists of everything I'd like to make or bake and games I'd love for us to play and then I'd completely overwhelm myself and you'd get peanuts and M&M's and possibly some water. I'd also be making a mad dash about 10 minutes before ya showed up, trying to clean my house and shove everything into one of the two bedrooms of our house.

Uh huh. Keepin' it real, yo. Keepin' it real.

My husband is Joshua. We've been married almost 11 years. He's crazy about me. And well, I'm just crazy. Kidding. I'm crazy about him too. We married when I was 18, him 20. We were young and in love and 11 years later, we're still young and by golly...still in love. Not that it's been easy. Because holy smokes it hasn't been. But Jesus, love, patience and a whole lotta prayers have gotten us where we are today.

We have two girls, ages 3 and pert near 11 months.

They are the reason I breathe.

And the reason I need a straight jacket.

Sugar and Spice as I've recently dubbed them. Couldn't be more accurate. Our 3 year old is sweet as can be. Definitely learning to assert her opinions but she's amazing and wonderful and I'm one blessed mama to call this girl mine. Spice...oh, Spice. Going on 11 months. There's no better name for her. She's horrible. But we love her. Opposite of her sister in so many ways but I'm addicted to her anyway. She's adorable and has a twinkle of naughtiness about everything she does. Had she been the firstborn, she'd be the last born. =)

I'm addicted to Iced Venti Hazelnut Breves from Starbucks. It's an illness that I may need professional help for. Seriously, I drink 20 oz. of half and half daily. That's not normal!

I love to blog, facebook, and twitter.

I love card games and hanging out with friends and family.

I love to take pictures. I love summer and flip flops. I love tattoos and have two of them myself.

I love to cook but mostly I love to eat. I love to grocery shop and write out lists. Then I write out the list again in nicer, neater handwriting.

I love music and singing at the top o' my lungs when no one is listening um, or within earshot.

Scrapbooking is a favorite past time but I don't do it nearly as often as I'd like.

I'm an oldest child and have two sisters. I was raised by my mother and am in awe that she raised my sisters and me alone.

I can't be serious for the life of me. Seriously. =) My dad drown when I was 19 and I make a joke out of it as often as possible. It makes people uncomfortable. It helps me deal.

I love road trips.

And it's a good thing because soon my sweet lil family will be living out of a 40 sq. ft. Peterbilt. Yes, 40 sq. ft. Not 400, not 4000. Forty. My husband is a truck driver through and through. He's given notice at his current job and we'll soon (like April 13th soon) be hitting the road in a semi-truck. (still not sure why it's called a semi when it's a huge full blown truck, but whatev) We'll be gone five days a week, living in a green 1997 Peterbilt. Double bunks. Fridge. Microwave. Stereo. And a laptop so I can blog OTR (over the road).

We're stoked for our new life. Our new adventure. I'll blog daily about where we are and what we're hauling, who we're meeting, and if we can actually live in 40 sq. feet without killing one another.

So, there's a bit about me.

Thanks for visiting, I'm glad you've stopped by, leave me a comment so I can visit your blog too!

And the free prizes I'd like to win....
#50
#68
#71

It was bound to happen

I'm sure I have at least one male reader, possibly two.

Dear Male Reader(s),

I'd exit this blog, like stat.

Sincerely,
Sarah





No, really. You'll want to go now.

Hopefully they've left. If not, they'll wish they had. And probably any females too.

Oh well.

One of the perks of being a nursing mama is that your menstrual cycle does not return until you taper off or quit nursing altogether. Usually. I have friends who've started long before they're done nursing. But for the most part, you have a wee bit of a break from "the curse" and I must say I like that perk of nursing.

I've gone to nursing Alison only twice a day for the most part and am supplementing with some formula my sister no longer needed. Four cans!!! Yee haw. That stuff is expensive and yet another reason I chose to breastfeed my kids.

Since I'm nursing less I shouldn't have been surprised yesterday when ol' Aunt Flow returned. But I felt like a kid again wondering what the heck I was supposed to do. It's been so long since I'd had to deal with this issue. And she's back with a vengence, I'm telling you!

So, I suppose I should stop letting her use these as toys, huh?

The Conversations and Laughter Continue

I'm beginning to wonder if the child will be a comedienne when she's older.

Last week we had a friend over on Thursday night to tell us about Clearwire internet services. His name is John.

About an hour before he was due at our house....

Me: "Jaylee, we have a friend coming over tonight."
Her: "Who?"
Me: "His name is John."
Her: "Oh, John the Baptist?"

The next day we hung out with my friend Jana. I went to pick her up from her in-laws and before I reached the door I could smell something.

Skunk.

I get to the door and knock. She opens the door and the skunk smell is even more overwhelming. We get to the van, where the kiddos are inside, and Jana begins to tell me about the skunk story. And from the back seat, Jaylee pipes up...

"What you do is you get a gun and you shoot the skunk."

Yes, my friends, we've taught her well.

Structure is Good

But I don't usually roll very structurally. (Is that even a word?!) (spell check says YES!)

However, I need to be more structured in certain areas of my life. A very wonderful friend of mine is quite structured. She has a plan. And that's that. She jokes that she wants me to help her live a little more freely. If she only knew how sometimes this fly-by-the-seat-a-my-pants thing I have going is actually stressful!

I tend to just roll with whatever comes my way. But I crave structure. I crave routine. Crazy, huh?! Me?!

I KNOW!

Crystal Paine has put on Making Your Home a Haven for a long time. Not sure how long but I've lurked her blog for well over a year and I was seeing the series pretty frequently. Since I'm needing some structure, guidance and encouragement in the homemaking department I decided to head to Crystal's blog. Today I see that Tammy will now be hosting Making Your Home a Haven.

I love that she's starting the series off with a list! A list of five things I want to accomplish every morning. Simple things.

I like simple.

So, here's my morning list:

1. Bible reading (just me and me and the girls)
2. Morning dishes.
3. Make beds.
4. Plan dinner.
5. Play time with the girls.

Seems so easy, doesn't it? Amazing how so often I can't even get those five simple things done. This time I've decided to write them down where I'll see them first thing, hopefully to help and inspire to do them each day!

What are five things you do every morning?

Return of the Maternity Pants

I was that girl who at five minutes pregnant wanted to wear maternity clothes.

I love me some maternity clothes.

'Specially the jeans.

It's amazing to not have to zip up or button your jeans. To just pull 'em down and then pull 'em up. So easy. So convenient. Sooo comfy.

Today we stopped in Biggs, OR on our way home to gas up and use the restroom. For some reason I tried to just pull my jeans down without unbuttoning them first. It didn't work. It reminded me of the first day I was able to wear normal jeans after having Alison. I was so used to just pullin 'em down that it came as quite the shock when it didn't work out so hot.

But while washing my hands before leaving the restroom I thought, ya know, I think I might have to buy me a pair of maternity pants just for the sake of not having buttons or zippers. And that panel can hold my belly flab so it's contained and not jiggling all over the place.

You may think I'm kidding but oh I'm not.

I think it's been my most intelligent thought since, well...ever.

She said FREE

Hey, Natalie has FREE music!

So, go check out her blog. First four get a free CD!

*update!*

Hey, there's still time to get a CD! Only two peeps (myself being one) have claimed a CD and she's offering a couple more, so hurry it up! What's better than FREE music?!

Dear Hotmail

You are making my life miserable.

My emails are not being sent.

Nor are they being received.

I'd like to cuss at you, Hotmail, but I'm holding back. 'Cause I'm a nice girl like that.

Please get fixed. Stat.

Thank you,
Sarah

Peanut Butter Oreos with a Glass of Milk

I couldn't think of a title for this post since it's just ramblings. So, I thought I'd title it by what I'm eating at the moment. If I continue to do that my next 5 posts and my last 7 posts would have the same title...

and she wonders why she's gained five lbs?! I KNOW!!!

Today was my last bible study at the Nazarene church. Esther study is over. I'm a sad girl. I've loved this study and love what I've learned. Transparency being one thing I learned about. Something I'm still grasping.

When I walked in and signed my name there was a little paper talking about the next study beginning next month. I was thrilled! Yay! I signed myself, wrote out my check for my book and took the book to my table. And then it hit me.

I won't be able to go.

I won't be home every Tuesday morning to go to this study.

I'll be riding around in a semi with a man and two little girls.

I started to put my book back and retrieve my check when a lady named Kathy came over. I explained why I was putting back my book but she encouraged me that I could do the study on my own.

Smart lady, she is.

I know it won't be the same but the study is on David and ohhh how I know I'll love learning more about David.

Just that little realization though that I won't be home was kinda weird. Last night little baby 'o mine decided to scuh-reaam for about an hour. She wants everyone to know she has teeth bustin' through. Right now, I can shut her door and my door and cover my head with a pillow to muffle those screams.

Thinking in a Peterbilt it's not going to be quite so easy.

We have some rough roads ahead. Things that we can only work out once we're actually dealing with them. I think my husband is still on cloud 9 about the whole deal that he's forgetting we're going with him...that the babe of ours is going too.

I'm not panicking just yet. But I'm sure it's comin'. I'm really good at panicking. My specialty if you must know.

So many changes ahead. Good ones. But still change.

And it takes me awhile to adjust to that stuff.

Time's Up

Seriously.

Who was I trying to kid going an entire week?!

Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

Being addicted to blogging and email and Facebook is better than drugs right?

RIGHT?!

The last few days have been fun. We got some unexpected company this weekend, in the form of two young girls. Ages 10 and pert near 12. Basically I had me two awesome babysitters! They were great with my wee little baby and of course my three year old thought they hung the moon.

My SIL called yesterday morning and said they were driving up here to hang out for the evening. This would be no big deal if they were just a hop, skip and jump away. But they live about three hours away. They drove all over yesterday and ended up in our town to play some cards. Then after 10 pm decided that it was probably time to head home. Thank goodness, I was beginning to fall asleep playing Hearts.

Love how they roll.

Sweet 10 month old baby of mine is teething. She thinks you're supposed to be awake the entire time you're cuttin' teeth. Would someone please tell her she's mistaken? She's not taking my word for it.

Had coffee with my friend Megan on Sunday afternoon. I saw the flowergirl and ring bearer that were in my wedding. They were getting coffee too. They're in their teens now and that makes me feel old.

I panicked this morning not being able to find my tennis shoes. I always, always wear my tennies. Then I remembered they got dirty last night and aren't fit for wearing in the house. I feel a lil nekkid without 'em.

Can you tell I haven't blogged in a few days?! Random stuff just flowing from my fingers.

Happy Monday!!!

Spring Cleaning

Two mornings ago I heard it.

That sweet sound that has been a year comin'.

The sound of birds chirping outside my bedroom window.

This my friend is when I know spring is near. It was sweet music to my tired of winter soul.

With Spring comes green grass, filled in potholes on our road, blossoms on cherry trees, longer days of sunshine.

And Spring Cleaning.

With our new way of life coming up shortly, a list needs to be made of all the stuff that we need to get done before we head out over the road.

We have 1100 square feet of unfinished basement that houses a bunch of junk. Camping gear, Christmas decor, paint cans (because I change paint colors like I change diapers) more Christmas decor, baby clothes, skinny clothes (yes, someday I'll be skinny again)(stop laughing.)

It's time to get into that stuff and get it cleaned up.

But the last few nights and then early this morning, I've not been able to sleep well.

There's another area in my life that needs cleaning. Some serious serious cleaning.

My heart, folks. My heart.

Once again I find myself in front of the screen hour after hour, day after day. I make up every excuse I can. "Dishes are done, I can spend some time on FB." "Girls are napping, why not?" "I just FAPA'd two loads of laundry, let me reward myself."

But at the end of a day, I'm ill. Physically ill for the time I've wasted. Yesterday a friend threatened to delete her FB account. I panicked! I'd hate for her to do that. But two nights ago, I laid in bed considering deleting my blog and my Facebook. I know how she feels. While the computer is awesome in so many ways, it can easily suck the life right outta ya. And it does it slowly without you even realizing how much time is spent here.

I got out of bed at 5 this morning. I don't like 5 o'clock. But my heart hurt and I knew I needed to make it right. I opened up my Bible and a song sheet from church was still in there. The first song had these words...

My troubled soul, why so weighed down
You were not made to bear this heavy load
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you

Jesus cares, He cares for you
And all your worrying won't help you make it through
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord

I will praise the might name of Jesus
Praise the Lord the lifter of my head
Praise the Rock of my salvation
All my days are in His faithful hands

My anxious heart, why so upset
When trials come, how you so easily forget
To cast your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you

The last part, about the anxious heart...that's me right now.

Anxious about the time I've lost by spending it here. Guilt. Fear. Sadness.

I have two girls who need me. Two girls that see the back of my head more than my face. So, I'm going to take the week off from here and get my heart right. My priorities right.

I have the best blog readers ever. Thanks for knowing that I go through this often. Usually I take a day off, or limit my time, but this time I think I need a bigger deal. Something to really make me look to Jesus and see why I'm spending so much time here.

So, I will see you next Thursday.

Love to you all.

Loved

Do you have anyone in your life whose handwriting you'd know just by seeing it? Handwriting that makes you smile?

I do. I went to school with a girl whose handwriting stood out from everyone. Her handwriting made such an impression on me that I tried copying it for awhile. I have handwritten stuff from high school in my basement to prove it. =)

While I haven't seen her handwriting in over 10 years, today when I opened my mailbox sat a small envelope with familiar handwriting.
Natalie knows that this week I'm going without coffee as a way to try and save for my laptop. She also knows how much I love my coffee. With this sweet card was a gift card to Starbucks. I walked up my driveway in tears. My heart swelled. My day made.


Thank you, Natalie. I love you, sweet friend.

Time Off

I feel like a complete moron whenever I want to complain.


I've got it so good.


But I've got my days, man. I've got my days.


This week hasn't been easy. And it's only Wednesday.


By Monday afternoon I was wanting to pull the hair out of my head and the girls' too. It was just one of those days.


The husband, knowing me so well, told me to run my errands. Alone.


Wise, wise man I married.


I ran my errands and I was in such a sour mood. While waiting in line at the postal center I go to I had time to randomly decorate the envelope I was mailing. That made me laugh out loud. I get a little delirious when I'm in a bad mood and the dumbest things can make me crack up. Decorating Emily's envelope did that for me.


When I got home Josh asked me what I needed. What would help.


"A day. Just one day. To myself. For myself."


I know, I sound extremely selfish. But it's true. I'd just like a day to not have to make breakfast, lunch or dinner. Or nurse. Or change diapers. Or comb tangly, curly hair on a child who has an extremely sensitive head.


Yuck. Reading over my words makes me wanna kick myself.


But it doesn't mean I still don't want that day to myself.


Josh told me to go for it. But Amber's reminder on Facebook that I'll need to hook up the inverter to the car battery and to my breast pump brought me back to reality. It could be interesting to have a day alone.

Guess we'll see what happens, it is only Wednesday...

Be Heard

On March 6, 2009 President Obama made the announcement that he wants to reverse the Conscience Clause.

What is the Conscience Clause?

"The Conscience Clause was implemented by former President George W. Bush to give physicians and nurses the choice to act according to their conscience — to not participate in abortion procedures if it conflicts with their personal convictions. If President Obama makes this damaging move, if he reverses the Conscience Clause, pro-life doctors and nurses will be forced into performing abortion procedures, despite their individual beliefs."
http://www.beheardproject.com/


Be Heard Project -Protect Pro-Life Doctors from beheard on Vimeo.


The video shows that it's over 5 minutes long, it isn't. Take the few seconds to watch. Then go to beheardproject.com and sign the petition. We have less than 30 days.

An Unconventional Way of Life

Ahhh.

That's the sound of a girl who has two sleeping children.

Well?

Well.

After four years of being away from a big rig, my husband is going back on the road.

It'll look a little different this time around as myself and two small children will be joining him in the Peterbilt.

Josh gave his notice last Thursday and his last day at Oxarc will be Good Friday. A good Friday indeed! Our first trip out will be April 13th. We couldn't be more excited.

We've had some raised eyebrows. Some "hmmphs". Some cheers. Some questions. We're not going into this thinking that moving two small children into a semi-truck will be easy. It's going to be quite difficult and quite interesting.

However, our family will get to be together all day, everyday. We have two amazing little travelers and Josh and I hate being away from each other all day. We've found a way to incorporate making a living and being together as a family as much as possible. Another awesome thing? My husband gets to do what he wants to do for a living! I love that part. Love it.
Four years ago while I was pregnant with Jaylee we didn't think it was possible to have a family in a truck. Everyone said it'd be impossible. And you know, everyone is always right. =) So, Josh gave up his dream for Jaylee and me. And ever since then, that sparkle in his eyes has been a little less shiny. I am thrilled he gets to live his dream again. And I'm thrilled to be part of it.

A work week for us will kinda look like this:

Sunday afternoon/evening load up the truck and head to destination X.

Monday-unload and re-load and head for the next destination. Tuesday thru Friday will be about the same.

Each day will be different. With about 500 miles or so a day. We'll roll in on Friday afternoon/evening, spend time with family and unwind from our week.

Saturdays will consist of letting the girls run their little hearts out to burn off some of that energy, while I make meals for the week, wash our clothes, clean our home and re-pack the truck. Josh will still go spandexing (he's panicked about gaining that 15 lbs again. Heaven forbid he see 150 on the scale!) and Sundays will still be for church and more time with extended family.

Many are thinking we're crazy. Uh, yeah. We already know that. But we're at a place in our lives that we can do this. Our girls love to ride and if they didn't, we couldn't do this. Josh and I love being together. We love working together. We know couples who couldn't do what we're doing. Every family has a different dynamic. Living in a Peterbilt will be ours.

And while we can do it, we will.



This isn't the actual truck we'll be driving, though this is similar...just without the two trailers behind it and ours will be extended hood (meaning the nose of it is longer.) I will of course post pictures after she pulls into my driveway for the first time!

Questions? Comments? Go for it!

The Bucket

A couple of weeks ago my status on Facebook was set to something along the lines of "I just made the best eBay purchase, ever."

I don't think those were my exact words. But closeastinkinnough.

Before I show you the purchase I have to tell the story first otherwise you'll wonder why the heck I'd buy these things.

Most of you know about my mom, two sisters and me living in a fifth wheel back when I was 12. Or was I 13? Either way...we lived in a fifth wheel. Not a fancy shmancy one that had heat and plumbing and all that. This was basically four dark paneled walls and a roof. There was a bathroom with a mirror, sink and toilet.

The mirror was the only thing that worked.

So, to um, use the facilities, we got pretty creative and used a bucket.

Not just any bucket.

A McDonald's Happy Meal Halloween Bucket!

As a joke for my mom and sisters I thought it would be hilarious to buy them a bucket. I looked on eBay and found a set of 6 of them. At my grandma's birthday party a couple of weeks ago I told my mom and Erica and Megan to come out to the van with me. I gave Josh the camera. Told the girls to turn around, close their eyes and hold out a hand.

Megan was freaking out about what I'd be placing in her hand.

They played along. I placed a handle in each of their hands and told them to open their eyes.


I think they liked 'em. What do you think?

Color is selling point

I'll soon be in need of a laptop.

I haven't the foggiest idea what to buy or where to buy it. The last time I bought a computer was in 2003. And even then I didn't know what I was doing. I just kept clicking until it said "Thank you for your purchase!"
There wasn't any fine print saying "this will take you 10 years to pay off and we're going to nail you 29 bucks every time you're late with a payment."

So, if any of you have any thoughts/ideas/whathaveyou on the purchase of a new laptop, I'd appreciate it.

I just need to email, upload pictures and play/burn dvd's.

And I'd like it to be orange.

The Kitchen Table

After almost 11 years of marriage, we've replaced many of the items we first purchased as newlyweds. Mainly because I've been a discontented girl who wants something bigger, better, different!

Praise the Lord that He's working on me in this area.

One of the few things we still have is our kitchen table. 10 and a half years ago I loved her. She was simple and pretty and at that time, the chairs and base of the table were white. Then I went through an Americana phase (for like 7 years) and decided to paint the chairs blue and the table base maroon. And then sand 'er for a more rustic look.


My sister just gave us her "old" dining table and chairs. It's a beautiful set. We're blessed to have it. Since it doesn't fit in our kitchen, it's in our living room. Our old set is still in the kitchen and the other day I was sitting there.

The table was cleared off. I was alone at the table. And I just started looking at it.

After 10 years, the finish is wearing. The top is yellowing. The chairs are a little more rickety as they've been used to sit on, stand on, and used as saw horses for these last 10 years.

I sat there with my cup of coffee and was overwhelmed with memories of the 10 years I've had sitting at this table.

At age 18 I served my first Christmas Eve dinner on this table. A roast with lumpy gravy and lumpy mashed potatoes. There were three of us. My sweet husband Josh, myself and...my dad. Neither of them complained about the food. Looking back, knowing now that that was the last Christmas Eve I'd have with my dad, I wish I hadn't worried about the food and concerned myself more with showing my dad how glad I was to have him spending the evening with us.

So many meals at this table. So many hands held in prayer, in thanks to God for another meal He provided for us. This table has heard many days of laughter. So many days of tears.

Many evenings with family and friends playing cards, eating snacks. It's had a few drinks knocked over on it. Some pencils flying across it during games (where I'm losing.)

During the days when I didn't keep up my house, this table has been covered in papers, laundry or dirty dishes for days on end. Oh, who am I kidding? I still don't keep up with my house, so there are still days where paper and laundry pile up on 'er.

Many mornings and evenings spent discussing our goals, our plans, our dreams. This table has been here through our best times. Our worst times. The table where I laid my head down and cried...bawled when we got home from vacation after my dad died.

Our friends and family have come over and shared their hopes. Their dreams. Their fears and their tears.

We've listened and loved at this table.

I walked in many times to see our Beagle standing on the table. Sitting on the table. Laying on the table. Man, I miss that girl.

There was the day I came home and found blue papers on the table. Divorce papers. Papers that shook me. The table held them. I never wanted to. They were there for awhile. I chose to ignore them and ignore the fact that my life was spiraling downward. It took me quite some time but with the love and patience of an amazing man and the love and prayers of family and friends, I realized that being married to Josh was the best thing. Ever. Those divorce papers, they were shredded.

This is the table where our girls have sat to eat their first foods of Cheerios and Rice Cereal. They've pounded their chubby little fists on the table and I'm pretty sure there's just permanent greasy little prints where they sit.

Many pictures have been colored with crayons or markers thus marker stains have bled through onto the table. This used to be bother me. It doesn't anymore.

Each month for over 10 years I've sat here to pay bills, some months wondering where in the world will the money come from to pay these bills? and other months in awe that there's an abundance. The Lord...He provides. Always.

I've had scrapbook supplies piled oh so high on top of our table. Josh has had engine parts and grease all over our table.

Josh and I have spent many mornings sharing the silence while we read our Bibles and drink our coffee, him eating breakfast, me not. He always puts one foot on my chair and it drives me up the wall. Our new table makes this impossible for him to do. I'll probably miss it in some weird way.

She's no heirloom. No one will want it when we die. It's nothing special. But I've grown up with this table over the last 10 years and I'm deciding not to part with her.

Meeting Outside the Box

One of my favorite things about blogging is the friends I've made. My black box friends as I like to call them. I have more friends in this black box than I do outside of it. Seriously. This weekend one of my black box friends became an in real life friend.

For about a year now I've been reading Emily's blog. Her love for her family, the Lord and that quick wit sucked me in immediately. =)

Yesterday, I got to meet her. In person! Loved her, loved her husband and their children. I don't think I've ever met sweeter and more polite kiddos than theirs. I also thought it was pretty amazing that Jim would hold my baby. Very cool. No wonder she calls him Rockin' Jim.

We got to Seattle early and walked around a bit. We were headed back to our van when their rig turned the corner. I had no idea what they drove but just knew it would be them. They pass us and wave and Josh got a kick out of that. "Um, how did she know it was you?" Maybe because she's seen our picture a bajillion times on here?

Sweet new friends.
Wow, look how much taller she is than me!! (Just kidding, Emily...) My husband is going to love that he looks like he's the tallest in this picture. Funny that he's actually the shortest. (please ignore the fact that my baby has no socks on.)
Jaylee and her favorite treat. It was her first time having cotton candy (that I can remember) and she raved about how it was her favorite. Silly kid.
We toured the Science Center in Seattle, had some lunch and headed to REI to hang out out of the rain.
Jim and Emily's kids were so patient with Jaylee. She loves kids older than her and followed them all over. Within minutes of meeting them she says, "do you want to take my picture?"
Hello, annoying child. I'm reminding myself that she's three. This passes, right?

Josh loved getting to know Jim. I loved that he had a boy to talk to that he gets along with who has common interests. My husband is amazing but doesn't have many close friends. It was fun to see him getting along so well with another guy.

Six hours was not enough, cannot wait for camping in July!