Parenting is brutal. Parenting is living with your heart on the outside of your body.
Today Sugar (age 9) tells me she wants to run away from home. "Not forever, Mom. I like it here, but I just wanna know what it's like to walk to Grandma and Grandpa's. By ourselves."
Grandma and Grandpa's is nearly three miles away.
I kinda blew it off. But she kept bugging me. I called Josh to get his thoughts. He thought they'd be capable.
I asked Sugar what she'd do if someone decided to pull up next to them and grab them. "I have my knife. And a belt, I could whip 'em. Plus, I have my bible."
Well then.
I decided I would follow them in the car. With my hazard lights on.
Friends, this was by far more difficult than giving birth to them without drugs. No joke.
I drove quite a ways behind them so they could feel they were on their own. Every time they came to an intersection I thought I was going to vomit. A half mile from our house is a busy highway.
They would have to cross it.
I drove across the highway and pulled over. Flipping out. Wondering how they would get across. Would they know to push the button? Would they watch for cars taking right turns?
Ugh.
They got across beautifully. Holding hands. Smiling big.
They walked another quarter mile til they had to cross another busy street. The looked right, but not left. Thankfully no cars were coming. I drove up next tothem, told them they were doing great, but that they would need to look both directions from now on.
More crossing of streets. Up hills, around curves. So gut wrenching for the mama.
How in the world do parents let their kids get a driver's license? Or leave home for college? I don't think I'm going to survive those days.
They got to their grandparent's house. Grandparents who ended up not being home.
When we pulled in the driveway they had their backpacks open, water and snacks out, accomplished smiles on their faces.
"One man asked us if we wanted a ride, one lady asked if we were okay, and one lady was barbecuing and it smelled so good."
They made it. I made it.
But I hope they never wanna run away again.
Giving up that little bit of control was awful.
