When there is something serious that needs to be talked about, I am not the person for the job. I make light of everything, trying to find humor in the worst of situations. Like when I had cancer or any time I talk about my dad drowning.
I get uncomfortable and find it easier to be funny than put on my Big Girl Panties and deal with the situation at hand.
This last week I haven't been able to be funny. I've had to deal with a serious situation like a big girl. For once.
My grandma is dying.
I don't like death.
I don't like assisted living places.
I don't like these Big Girl Panties I'm having to wear.
But I'm dealing. Jaylee and I have been going almost every day to spend time with her. She's not had any nourishment in nine days. Her body is shutting down. She's so skinny.
I've never been this close to death before and it's not that it freaks me out, at least not with my grandma, it's just weird to watch it happen. I'm thankful that she's a believer, I have peace knowing that soon she'll be with Jesus.
My thoughts about all of it are so jumbled. It's just been a very sad and tiring week.
3 comments:
Went through this with my grandma last year. Its so hard. Praying for you and your family!
Sarah, I am glad that you have peace that she will be in heaven with The Lord! Praise God! I will pray that you will have peace with her passing and that you will be comforted by wonderful memories of her!
Oh man, Sarah. I wish I lived closer to help you deal with this situation. Sadly, I have had plenty of experience in that department and it is never easy. I am glad you are going to see her as many people wouldn't. That means a great deal. Try to remember that God has the situation under control and try to find peace knowing she will be with Jesus. I pray you can find comfort in this knowledge and warmth in the great memories you have of her. Take time to write down some of those fond memories. It does help with grieving.
Love Ya,
Min
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