A couple of months after I had Alison, I remember sitting on the couch, nursing her and thinking, "just 10 more months until I don't have to lift my shirt and nurse this baby." (i was a little cranky after Alison was born)
And then last night I thought, "only two more months until I'm done nursing."
It's mind boggling to me that almost a year has passed. Where has the time gone? I know it doesn't slow down or speed up but it sure feels like it's speeding up.
Since we had Jaylee I feel like I blink and bam! six months have gone by and I can't remember what the hey happened in that time.
My life is amazing. I love it. But am I enjoying each minute? Even though I feel like time is flying by, the days can be long and tiring and I find myself thinking, "if only they slept through the night and made their own lunch and bathed themselves and lived somewhere else..." Some days I kick myself for wishing away this time.
With the direction our lives are taking at this point, I'm thinking another baby is out of the question. I'm sad. Heartbroken. Because I've hurried Alison's baby-ness. Thinking I'll have more and it's no biggie to shove her into toddlerhood.
I'm deciding to savor my moments with these girls He's blessed me with. Even when I'm running on a few hours of interrupted sleep and making the 9 millionth PB sandwich and changing that stinky diaper, and answering that question I already answered. 12 times.
Soon enough, they'll be walking out my door to live their own lives.
And I want their memories of home to be filled with love and patience from their mama.
8 comments:
Oh, tell me about it. I miss nursing. I was so ready to be done but... I keep telling myself not to rush but sometimes it's all so mundane that you just can't help it.
What Brittany said is so true! What seems mundane at the time we miss later.
I recently read a guy friend's status on Facebook that he "is glad he can't lactate." :) I know he meant this because his wife is the one getting up at night to feed their newborn. But as much as I hated those middle of the night feedings, sometimes I miss nursing too. (Who knew?!) As mothers, we're blessed to have that special closeness with our little ones.
It is so sobering how FAST time goes. I got to love on a 3 week old last tues. And I came home wanting another one. Those coos and noises and that SMELL, that sweet baby smell. How they curl up on your chest. (Sigh)
Then I got up the next morning and had to clean up my 4 year olds bottom cause he "forgot" to go in the toilet! Little monkey!
Baby want OVER.
i think we will all be saying stuff like this when they're 18, 30,etc!
okay, wanna hear something kinda gross? i sat down here to read and noticed my shirt was wet on my boobie. it made me want to burst out and bawl. i think i could've actually produced milk at the moment i was so into it. now that would've been gross...but i do know what you mean. breastfeeding was beautiful. the boobies afterwards are not so much, but it was all worth it!
Time goes so fast! Today my twin boys turn 14. I remember when I nursed them and changed their stinky diapers. I miss it too this day.
You are sooo right! I do the same thing, and take my kids/husband for granted way to often. I do wish they'd stay the ages they are right now. Noah and Viv turn 4 and 5 next week, and Nathanael is 7! TIME HAS FLOWN!!!
omgoodness...that WAS a creepy comment. now we have to meet someday so you'll know i am not that W.E.I.R.D.!!!
I hear ya...
It is hard to just live in the moment, sometimes.
I completely understand those long days that feel like they may never end, but at the same time, you have no idea where the months have gone.
I can't believe we are almost done nursing. I remember in the first couple of days, just hoping I would be able to make it for 2 weeks. It is a hard job, but totally worth it. I think Chloe would wean her two afternoon feedings if I would let her.
Hope that you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the time with your beautiful lil family.
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