a day where i'm sad.
and lonely.
and just trying to be happy.
in every place.
this place.
this place being my home. my town. my friendlessness.
i love my house. mostly. i love the rooms that have been remodeled with my husband's hardworking hands. but the rooms that aren't done or aren't finished drive me nuts. the house is 3/4 sided and 4/4 unpainted. drives me up the wall.
my town is ugly and gross. gang ridden. and being the minority in this town means our billboards are in a language i don't speak. but it's where we live. and it's where we are. and my husband loves it here. despite what anyone (even me) says about it. i wish i felt his sentiments.
having my husband away from home is hard. fall makes me love our house even more. it's cozy. the sun going down early is no longer one of my favorite things. it makes it easier to put the kids to bed early but other than that i find i get depressed over the early darkening hours. i want my man here to snuggle on the couch with.
i want a friend. one who lives nearby. someone to hang out with. someone who enjoys just hanging out on the couch like i do. a confidante.
i miss that.
told my husband the other night how it's weird to not have a best friend. how it feels so lonely. he didn't say, "well you have me" because he knows there's a difference. he definitely is my best friend but there are just some things i don't believe men care to hear about. and that's what a best friend is for.
and i now feel so bottled up inside with all the things i think or things that go on during a day that i've no one to tell.
it's lonely.
it's hard.
5 comments:
i'm a great couch-sitter-on'r! bummer. i'll be praying for you tonight sister. i can identify w/ the loneliness and will pray that God surprises you soon w/ a beautiful friendship.
Soon enough:)
I did get your FB message. I will be calling you soon. I want it to be a time I won't be interrupted w/ a little someone getting into something she isn't supposed to because I'm on the phone.
Love ya!
hearing you.praying for you.loving you
hey...I GET IT!! I was transplanted over a year ago and I am still adjusting....my poor husband gets an ear full every night about everything (and I mean everything, like the stuff just you and yoru girlfriends should talk about) and when I'm driving him crazy I tell him "but you're my girlfriend now!". I have lots of girlfriends....just not here....I like the people I work with, we laugh, have a great time at work and occasional lunches....but it isn't the same...it isn't long phone conversations or quick trips shopping, or the shoulder to cry on or 10 thousand other things. so...I get it, and it makes me smile that you would actually get me....so thanks!! =) Amy
Your town is way cool - I don't know what you're talking about. =) You have the Lighted Farm Parade coming up soon! We don't have that.... Is there anyway you can convince your husband to move you closer to Emily? I think that would work.
Ok, in all seriousness, I felt the same way a few years ago and learned this: Friends Take Time. They require one-on-one contact, telephone calls, emails, and frequent (weekly) get-togethers. Reflecting on my past friendships - keeping friends is hard; it's so easy to drift apart. Don't sulk Sarah, you're WAY to fun and caring for that. Someone in your town is missing out on a GREAT friend... you have to find 'em!
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