a very jumbled TMI post about working out

First things, first.

If you're of the male variety - and you know who you are, Mister, it's time to click the little x in the top right.  This post is not for you to read.

Okay, now that we have that settled and only females are reading, here goes.

Working out is embarrassing.  Running is embarrassing.  I super much hated it when I started at the end of January.

Wanna know why?  And remember, I told you this post was TMI.  You were warned.

Okay, so one of the reasons I hated running was because my shorts would creep up my thighs.  You've seen it on women.  Maybe you've seen it on me.  It's not pretty.  But when your thighs rub together, it happens.  So, I'd be out there running and every once in a while I'd be pulling the shorts outta the crotch area.

So.  Attractive.

(seriously, if there's any guy still reading.  GET OUT.)

Then there's the issue of peeing while you run.

Yeah, I said it.

It happens.  It also happens when I ride my bike.  Don't you wish you worked out with me?  I'm a blast!  My shorts ride up my crotch and I pee my pants.  Who wouldn't want to be work out partners with me?!

Seriously, though.  The peeing issue sucks.  I don't know if it's because I've had kids or what the deal is because I do not remember this being an issue when I ran Cross Country in high school (5 trillion years ago).  Occasionally I'll put on a panty liner, other times I just pee my pants.  Good times.

I'm not sure what finally got me to the point that I realized it was just time to get off my butt.  I think I finally realized that my metabolism changed after kids.  It wasn't nearly as easy to have it come off.  I also realized just how sedentary my life is/was.  I didn't move much at all during any given day.

I just went for it.  I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and went into a gym.  I participated in a class and felt like a fool.  I felt like an ass.

And after 3 or 4 times I felt like less of a fool.  I started to feel proud of myself.  'Cause even if I did look like a fool, at least I was there.  At least I was finally doing something other than complain.  And then I set a goal. I set a goal to run a 5K.  3 miles.  Doesn't seem like much to some but for a girl who hadn't run in 15 years, it was a big deal.

So I set the goal.  I made the goal public for accountability.  And then I accomplished it.  I figured after I met my goal I'd probably quit running.  I did.  For almost four weeks.  I still kept at the gym but I stopped running for awhile.  But I eventually got back into it and once I hit the road instead of the treadmill, it almost got addicting.

I've added in bike riding.

When I first started the bike, it was the one at the gym.  When I'd look down my tummy hung over my pants so much that I couldn't see my crotch.  (TMI!) and tonight while I was on the bike at the gym, I looked down and there it was!

4 months ago I should have measured myself, I almost did.  Honestly, though, I didn't think I'd stick with this. So I didn't want to know my measurements.  I wish I had.  I know I've lost several inches everywhere.  I've gone from a size 12 or 14 (depending on brand) to an 8 or 10.  The smallest jeans I own are now loose in my thighs (one of the main areas of my body that I LOATHE) so I'm feeling a little better there.  My love handles are going away but are definitely still there.

My tummy?  Oh, my tummy.  I still look like I just gave birth a few weeks ago so let's not even go there.  It's amazing what a shirt can hide.  So please, even if you feel compelled the next time you see me, don't lift my shirt, k?

Glad we got that settled.

I had planned to run Bloomsday.  A 12K.  7.5 miles.  I ended up not.  I bailed.  And I felt like a failure.  Then I had the opportunity on Saturday to run a 12K.  Though I didn't know it was a 12K.  I thought it was *just* six miles.  I hadn't run in almost four weeks but I went for it.

I'm still not sure why.

I'm so glad I did though.  Running those 7.5 miles without walking made me realize something.

I'm stronger than I've ever given myself credit for.  I can do more than I thought possible.

And if I can do it, anyone can.

It takes getting out of the comfort zone.  It takes believing in yourself just a tiny bit and rejecting any lies you normally let yourself believe.  It takes guts.

It takes balls.

And even if you don't believe you can do it, I believe you can.