I am not someone who can easily highlight my successes. Partly because they are so few and far between and partly because it's just not me to say, "yay, me! look what I did awesome!"
However.
I rock at showcasing what I suck at.
Today and many days it's mothering.
I've just sent my children down for naps with tears running down their dirty, little faces.
They were fighting over a stupid ball. So I did the really mature thing and I opened up the sliding glass door and chucked the ball outside.
There. Now no one can play with it.
And the tears and the screaming.
Oh the tears.
Over an effing ball.
It's close enough to nap time anyway so I just sent them to bed. I've taken the easy hard way out. Easy because I'm not dealing with the situation. Hard because...I'm not dealing with the situation.
Or the attitudes.
Or their hearts.
Or my attitude.
Or my heart.
Instead, stuff the issue in a bedroom, shut the door and.. and sit here feeling like anyone but me deserves to mother these kiddos.
*this post in an effort to, for one week, type without deleting as i have been double dog dared by my friend, Sara, to do.
6 comments:
Ooooh you have no idea how happy this has made me!! If I wasnt eating this apple and "working" I wouldve done a happy dance. But I did a happy wiggle in my chair.
I love the unedited honesty. And that ball? Shows you're as human as those you interact with on twitter. Theres only so many tears and whining you can take before a mama reaches her limit.
Keep posting!!
I threw one of my kid's toys across the room yesterday in a fit of rage. It was either the toy or him, so I think I showed real restraint.
Hang in there, Mama. We all have those days.
Not a parent, but am a classroom teacher. Totally relate.
I got so mad one day because the kids would NOT stop looking at the clock (and not concentrating on work) that I told a kid to move out of his chair, climbed on it, ripped the clock off the wall, and told the kids "Now, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS!! IT IS TIME TO WORK!"
You're in good company!
We all have days like these, Sarah. Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is hard work. We are not perfect. We can only keep working on these difficult areas and keep asking God to help us improve.
((Hugs))
Mary
Call me ignorant, but I thought you solved the problem pretty well. If they can't play nice they don't get the ball. Problem solved. Kids cry when they don't get what they want. I hope they got over it.
Oh Sarah. You feel how every single mother out there feels. Like we aren't enough and we never will be. Just know that your girls love you and only a great mother would worry about what kind of mother she is. Love you.
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