This Beautiful Mess

The moment you've all been waiting for! (yeah, right!)



I recently read a book that has some controversy surrounding it, therefore, I'll not mention the title (if you've read it you'll know what book I'm talkin' about.) I'll save my review of the book for another post...


At one point in the book, the main character is standing in a garden.

"It was chaos in color."

"It was confusing, stunning, and incredibly beautiful."

Though the garden was a mess, it was beautiful. And come to find out-the garden was a representation of him.

And I loved that picture.

I love that even though I'm this amazing mess, I'm still beautiful in His sight.

The mess of my faith-how I daily, hourly even, fail to be like Jesus. I fail to pray. Or ask forgiveness. Or witness to others. I am a mess when it comes to my faith.

But He finds beauty.

The mess of my wifely-ness (totally not a word, I'm aware) So many times I put my wants and needs ahead of Josh's. I've failed him miserably. I've gotten better as the years have gone by (10 of them this Friday!!!) but so many times I've come up short as being the helper to my husband.

But He finds beauty.

Oh the mess of my mothering. So many nights after a day of mothering, I lay in bed and remember how I lacked patience, consistency, love, positive discipline, and the list could go on.

Again...He finds beauty.

And always, the mess of my relationships. Whether family or friends, I'm always failing in one way or another. I'm not available when I'm needed. I didn't say the right thing. I didn't have enough sympathy. I didn't call. I didn't write. I wasn't there. Again, the list is endless.

Still...He finds beauty.

I am a beautiful mess. I am a work in progress. Daily learning to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I'm supposed to be. Learning to do a load of laundry before I check my email, learning to not answer the phone when Jaylee is talking to me, learning to put another persons needs before my own.

But I fail. Miserably. Some days...no laundry gets done but lots of emailing does. Jesus doesn't love me any less because of it. He can't. He'll never love me any more or any less than He does right now.

In the midst of my mess, He's creating beauty.



So, there it is. My new blog name. Reading over what I've written bums me out, I'm just not able to adequately describe what "this Beautiful Mess" really means to me.

But this is a glimpse I suppose.