I think part of the reason I don't hold much back here on my blog is because for too long I was very good at keeping secrets. I was great at hiding stuff. And it made me sick.
You can only keep secrets hidden for so long before they're found out.
Before you hurt others.
Before you hurt yourself.
I'm not talking about the secret you're (I'm) keeping that you (I) ate 7 Oreos dipped in white chocolate over the weekend and you (I) would just rather no one else know about it.
I'm talking about lies.
Any time I feel like I'm not open about something, I feel like I'm being secretive. Like I'm lying. It's not a good feeling.
What I'm about to tell you, I don't have to tell you. It's really not important for anyone else to know about. But I don't want it to be a secret.
On Super Bowl Sunday we were driving home from my SIL's house. This drive gives us a little over three hours to talk. Sometimes we make small talk, sometimes we talk about our goals and other times we get pretty serious.
February 7th was serious.
Through my blog posts and interaction with me personally, I'm sure many of you know that I haven't been feeling well emotionally.
I am unhealthy.
I don't like it. My husband doesn't like it. My kids don't like it. Nor do my family and friends.
I want to get better. I need to get better.
So, last Friday I went in for the first of my weekly visits with a Christian counselor. During our phone call when I set up the appointment she asked me how I found her. God Bless, Google! ☺ I wasn't nervous at all to go in and talk with her.
Until about five minutes before I walked in her door.
Upon seeing her though I just felt this peace. She has this wonderful accent and her name, though pronounced differently, is very similar to a friend of mine from church and it may seem silly but even that little thing about her put me at ease.
We sat and talked. Well, I talked.
A lot.
And she listened.
A lot.
So. There it is. There's my non-secret. I'm going to counseling.
And I'm going to be a better woman, wife, mama, sister, daughter and friend for it.
10 comments:
Good for you, for going and for making the most of it. I think that is awesome! You know, not "awesome!" that there's a reason to go, but awesome that you're going. You know what I mean. Right?
I am thinking of going back myself. I've been putting it off, and maybe this is the little nudge I need to pick up the phone and do it.
I am so happy for you, Sarah! There is no shame in asking for help. I often feel like I would benefit from counciling as well. The ONLY thing that has held me back is us not choosing to pay for it (since our deductible for insurance is high and it would completely be out of pocket).
I pray it goes very well for you; and you learn more about yourself and what may be holding you back from a happier life. =)
Kimberly- I understood what you meant by awesome. ☺
Mary- I'm paying out of pocket since we don't have insurance. I think it'll be worth going without coffee and groceries for awhile. ;)
i just want the world to know....I LOVE SARAH!!! so proud of you sister.
Bless you for being smart enough to seek help when you need it, and caring enough about your beautiful family to seek help. I'm speaking from 34 years of marraige, 2 kids, and 4 grandkids. In our early years we too sought some counseling a couple times, Once my husband and myself and once my son and me, These were all helpful in giving us tools to work out issues that come up that otherwise could tear families apart. Proud of you girl....
Asking for help is often the "healthiest" thing to do. Way to go taking that first step.
I love you and totally support you!
God promises in the Bible to give grace to the humble. He is drawn to humility and loves to give more grace! You have humbled yourself - expect grace!
Laura
Good for you. Counseling helped me through some rough times a while back. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Thanks for being honest on your blog.
love you!
Sarah I'll be praying...sometimes we can get through stuff alone...sometimes we need a little help. Good for you getting the help....I'll pray that you and your family and friends are very blessed by it all... Love you!
Maria
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