Frustration

December 19th:  Frustration
What was one of the biggest frustrations you had this year?  What will you do to deal with it in 2012?  Or, will you even have to? 
Definitely my ankle saga.  I was at the peak of my fitness when I hurt my ankle and wasn't able to ride my bike for 5 weeks.  I could barely walk.  I missed a few weeks of yoga.  I was pissed.  I cried more out of frustration than pain, even though there was a lot of that.

I was frustrated that I had been busting my ass for months and then all I could do was sit on it.

It's better now.  Not completely.  I'm not sure if I can run yet.  I try jogging to my mailbox every once in awhile.  Then it aches for the rest of the day.  Every once in awhile I'll move wrong and I'll cry out in pain.  It's embarrassing.

The next frustrating thing...just as my ankle is healing and I can get back to working out, I find out I have a hernia along my incision from my cancer/colon surgery.

I haven't gotten my thank you cards out to those who helped out during that the ankle deal by bringing meals or taking my kids or cleaning my house and now this.

So, Friday as in 3 days ago I had surgery to put in a piece of mesh and repair it.  My surgeon (same one who did my appendectomy and hemi colectomy) said that it'd be three, maybe four incisions and I'd most likely be in and out the same day.

Awesome.  I can do that, no prob.

Well, my 3 incisions turned into 9.  My in and out procedure turned into an overnight stay.

I'm pissed.  It's a week before Christmas and I can hardly move.  I can hardly get off my couch to walk.  I'm not allowed to work out for several weeks.  I can't pick up my kids.  I can't cook or clean for them.  It may sound like a vacation but when you can't do the things you're so used to doing, you realize just how much you enjoy doing those things.

I even tried to clean the toilet today but couldn't bend down.  I wasn't supposed to try but I noticed it was dirty and wanted to make it not dirty.  Then I tried to wrap presents and that was the dumbest thing I did for the month.

It's a weird feeling to feel like you can't even walk.  I have to hold my belly.  The staples freak me out.  I'm afraid they're going to catch on something.

I handle pain well. I go nearly twice as long between pain meds than I'm supposed to.  What I don't handle well is immobility.  I don't handle being out of control of my household well.  It makes me mad.

Also I've not been allowed to eat.  I'm a girl who likes to eat.  A lot.  Add that to my list of frustrations.

My list of IOUs for my friends is looong.  Here's a public thank you to those who brought meals last time, this time.  Who cleaned my house last time or took my babes.  And who've done that this time.  I truly do not deserve friends and family like you.  But I'm so grateful for you.  You'll have your thank you card.  I promise. I just suck at getting them in the mailbox.

Okay, I'm done venting about my stupid ailments.  I know I could have it so much worse.