Slacker Mama

For those of you about to receive a piece of mail from me, let it be noted what you'll be receiving was purchased on time, I'm just a slacker and didn't get them out on time.

~Sarah

Vanilla. No, Chocolate. Yeah, Chocolate.

Yesterday my husband came home early from work since he's been putting in a great deal of overtime.

It was sooo nice to have him here at 3 instead of 5.

The sun was out. It was warm. We were loving it. We're outside working. Me, raking leaves out of my pretty flower areas, Josh, ever-working on our Suburban (sigh..) and Jaylee...

Oh...where is that kid?

We realized she was gone. 'Cause we're observant parents like that.

We call and call and at the last "Jaaayleeee" I think my voice got a lil shaky, a lil panicky. We share a driveway with two other homes. The family directly across from us has six children, 5 of them being boys (Jaylee's favorite kind) and they also have a trampoline (that Jaylee's in awe of). We find her standing over in their yard, staring at 3 of the 6 children jumping on the trampoline.

Josh calls a little louder and she starts on back to our house, reluctantly. And then the tears start.

Her life is over.

When she gets up to us, tears and snot are dripping down her face. She's on the verge of hysterics.

"What's your deal?" I ask, ever so sympathetically.

"M-m-myyy k-k-keeeey!!!!"

She had pulled a key out of our old lawnmower and apparently left it at the neighbor's house.

The three of us head on back there.

As Josh and I get there, the oldest yells to one of his younger siblings, "hurry, shut it off."

And so, we don't get to listen to AC/DC.

Such a bummer.

Jaylee finds her key. The boys politely say hi.

And then Justin, one of my favorites, says, "we didn't know you were having another baby."

"Yep, yep I am." I tell him, proudly.

"What kind's it gonna be?"

Friday

is the big day. It was going to be yesterday. Really. It was.

But I kept stalling.

How ridiculous is this love affair I have with my computer?!

Anyway, I am giving myself the week. Mainly because I have to pay bills on Friday and it's easier to do that online and since I don't know much about computers and all that junk, I'm unaware if it's safe to pay my bills on a public computer.

Anyone know?

I also am putting in my last Pampered Chef order. I'm kinda sad. Kinda not. I'm sure if I really wanted to learn how to send orders in through the mail I could. And I may even be able to twist someone's arm into letting my download the whole spiel onto their computer. But for now, thinking it's just best to call this my last "party" of sorts and be done with that chapter in my life.

Did I tell you we got a newer Suburban? I can't remember. It was a couple of months ago and for the first time it wasn't my idea to go car shopping! :) We didn't need it. But we got it. She's nice. I love her. But she's a gas hog and she's also cost us some money we weren't expecting. Blah! I've been a little bitter about it, if you couldn't already tell (and if I haven't already complained about it to some of you over the phone).

On Sunday, Josh goes to roll down the window.

Nice try.

She doesn't want to roll down. Not even a smidge.

I was on the verge of using some foul language and then remembered it was Sunday. Like it's okay to use foul language Mon-Sat....lol

Anyway, yesterday as I pulled up to the espresso stand I remembered I was going to look a dork getting out of my vehicle because of the dumb, stupid, retarded window. I decided to chuck my attitude out the window (the passenger one, since mine wouldn't roll down) and asked the Lord to just fix it, please!

It didn't get fixed. At least not right at that moment.

This morning Josh and I were going to meet for coffee (yes, coffee two days in a row....) and he decides to quickly pull some stuff apart by the window. He wiggles some stuff around, puts 'er back together and waa-laa.

She rolls down!

Thank You, Lord, for answering my prayer!!!

I know it seems trivial but I am just so thankful. Thankful to Jesus for hearing and answering such a simple request, thankful that my husband is amazing when it comes to tearing stuff apart and knowing how to put stuff back together, thankful we don't have to fork out money to get 'er fixed.

Live Like No One Else

We live on one income.

We don't have anything real fancy. We don't go on super duper exciting vacations. We don't have car payments. I don't have lots of diamonds or a closet full of designer clothes. Josh doesn't have expensive hobbies.

Yet, we are in debt. Stupid stuff mainly. Couldn't really look around my house and say, "yep, bought that on the credit card." because mostly we racked up our credit card with junk.

We don't have a ton (thinking of you, Melis, as I say "a toooon!") of debt. One credit card and a home equity loan. And of course our mortgage.

Even though it's not much, it still bugs us. We still want out from underneath it.

When I went in to talk to Greg, the guy at the bank, about refinancing our house for a 15 yr. loan he handed me Dave Ramsey's book. I knew he had been teaching a class here in town, we just weren't able to go. I was pretty excited to be handed the book.

Immediately I was on a kick to start this so-called budget thing that Josh and I, in almost 10 years of marriage, have never implemented. However, my husband wasn't as excited. After almost two weeks of me being this crazy, excited, we're-so-going-to-kick-debts-butt, girl...I realized my husband was wanting to pull his hair out.

So.

I told him I was backing off. To set and stick to a budget, both parties have to be on board. Even though I'm big enough for both of us...he was not on board and I knew this wasn't going to work.

I apologized (my so not favorite thing to do) and told him when he was ready to let me know. I told the Lord I really needed Josh's help with this. Told Him I wanted Josh to be as excited as me about becoming debt free.

He may not be jumping up and down excited but we put our income on paper. We looked at our financial situation. And I can tell he's excited to actually pay attention to where our money goes. Usually we just spend and spend and hope there's enough money at the end of the month to make the next month's house payment.

As we were looking at the numbers we wondered how we've been making it all this time. We used to pretend to budget and saw that we were throwing away money during the month that we could be saving. Now we barely make enough to make ends meet. Part of it is we now pay health insurance where Josh works, whereas Josh's old boss paid it for us before. That's a big chunk.

It wasn't pretty yesterday as I was putting numbers in. Stuff has to go. At first I just thought I could get rid of my cell phone and that'd be it.

Nope.

Internet's gotta go, too.

I kinda wanna cry about that.

As a SAHM this computer is my outlet. It's my way of kinda having friends. Having people older than 2 to talk to.

But are reading blogs, MySpace, email, news, weather, online banking more important to me than becoming debt-free, saving for my kids' college fund, and saving for retirement?

Not even close.

So, yeah, it kinda stinks that today or tomorrow is my last day online. But, Dave says, "Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else."

It may be hard for a time but I know the end result is going to be worth it.

I'm not giving up blogging for good. I'm sure I'll find places to get online (ahem, Amber) and keep you up to date on the exciting life of us. :) And, if ya wanna email me, you can do that, too. Just view my complete profile and there's a linky-doodle dealio for my email address.

Wow...this is making me sad. I feel like we're breaking up. It's not you, it's me. ;)

I love all of you, even you who lurk and never comment, I know you're there and I'm glad you stop by. Thank you to those who have left comments and become part of my life. I appreciate you. I'm thankful for you.





If you want to become debt-free but don't know the first place to start, I highly suggest Dave's site. It's amazing the peace we already feel just starting! Anyone can do it. Anyone. It does require sacrifice. It requires hard work. But it's possible.

I seriously am feeling some Spring Fever. I need sunshine, I need flip flops, I need a tan, I need some shorts (that will not be happening til I'm flab free), I need some Sangria time with my husband, ALONE.

I'm so ready. So ready for it to be warm so we can hang out on our deck, have some bbq's, stay outside til 9 pm, do yard work, etc.

I just want Summer here already!

But since it's not warm, I've been sitting at the kitchen table with a budget worksheet and it's really fun to be the controller of the money instead of being controlled by my money. I'm really thankful for a 3 payday month, means we can throw some extra at our debt. yee haw!

And since it's not warm, there are many inside chores I could be doing. Like FAPA.

Or I could just continue to blog...

It's been over a week since I've posted.

I really don't feel I've anything to write about. At least nothing exciting.

Not that it always has to be exciting, because I'm sure it probably isn't.

My mom was here for awhile.

I went to my SIL's to scrapbook for an entire weekend with no child.

That was incredible!

We're refinancing our home for a 15 yr loan and that makes me feel like a grown up.

I went to Costco today and left without buying paper towels. I was really proud of me. I love paper towels. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE! But I realized I've been getting along just fine without them the last couple of months.

We have a bunch of work to do on the outside of our house before the appraiser can come.

It's supposed to rain the rest of the week.

The baby growing inside me is getting bigger all the time. I can tell. I feel very pregnant. Last night I went to take a bath and just stared at myself in the mirror. I don't want to wish away this pregnancy because most likely it will be my last; however, I want to feel "normal" again. I'm selfish like that.

I made a decision entirely on impulse last week.

I'm completely regretting it.

I really feel that the Lord wants me to learn to wait on Him.

His timing is perfect, after all.

I have groceries upstairs that need to be put away. I'm wondering if they'll grow arms and legs and do the putting away of themselves.

Prolly not, huh?

Insert Swear Word Here

I'm a pretty easy-going girl. At least I like to think I am. Hopefully others see me that way as well.

So today is the worst day, ever. Okay, maybe not ever. But it's the worst day I've had in a long long time.

I'd like to go on and on, rant and rave, but I'm still too angry to talk about today's events.

Too angry. Too frustrated.

I'm done for now.

You're welcome.

My Cravings

I embarrass myself enough on here, right? You already know I'm a lil freakish, yes?

At the end of my pregnancy with Jaylee we had my SIL's cats staying with us. How many were there, Treena? 2? 3? I was thinking 3. So, we're cat-sitting for a while. These are indoor cats mind you. Indoor cats use litter boxes. Pregnant girls aren't supposed to change litter boxes (a pregnant woman sooo came up with that rule).

I'm thinking that totally works, cats can stay here, Josh can clean up after them. Except...oh I can't believe I'm admitting this...except I wanted, loved, craved, neeeeded to clean out the cat box. It was no chore. I gladly did it. Even though technically I wasn't supposed to.

Hmm...maybe that's why Jaylee is the way she is, eh?

Then the cats were gone. No more dirty, amonia smelling litter.

Somehow I survived.

I was thinking that so far this pregnancy I haven't had much for cravings. Sure I like to say, "oh honey, can you go to the store for ice cream, buffalo wings, butterfingers, ice, etc" but I haven't really craved them.

I just want them.

But the other day it happened. I had a craving.

I wanted to eat my clean clothes. LOL

I did. I was pulling clean clothes out of the washer and started to put them in the dryer when my senses were overfilled with joy at the smell of these amazingly clean, just washed in Tide, rinsed with Bounty fabric softener clothes.

It took everything in me not to put my wet, clean t-shirts in my mouth. You skerd of me yet?

Me too.

Then, I was off to clean the toilet. Again. And the smell of Pine-Sol and Comet and the sound of the pumice stick, oh my heck, if I didn't remember what happens in and around the toilet, I may have taken cue from the dog and drank from it.

I'm so pregnant. I'm so having cravings.

I'm so going to lose my readership.

Road to Recovery

I'm not going to look up the posts to link you here and there of all the times I've told you what a bad homekeeper I've been. If you've been lurking reading for any length of time, you know. If you're a newbie, welcome! Sit down! Leave comments! And know that I used to be horrible.

Horrible as in, packed up my dirty dishes in a rubbermaid tub and drove them across town to my SIL's house to put in her dishwasher.

Horrible as in, my husband would run out of the 37 pairs of manties (yes, men's panties) because I would not do laundry.

And if I did do said laundry, it would sit all over every piece of furniture in our living room unless someone was coming over and then it would be thrown on the cleanest floor in the cleanest bedroom we could find.

No joke-my husband would invite people over to our home just so I'd have to clean.

I was that bad.

However, ladies and jellybeans, I'm on the road to recovery. And after reading Cindy's post today, I got a lil skerd. She used to be crazy ( I mean that in the best way, Cindy)but I found myself feeling a bit of a high as she described the way she used to clean her countertop. :)

Because my road to recovery has kinda been that in some areas, I'm getting a little too clean. I neglect other things I should be doing because I'm FAPA'ing (folding and putting away) laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming, scrubbing the toilet, etc. When, all Jaylee wants is for me to play a game with her or Josh wants me to just sit and ask how his day was.

I've been trying so hard to make up for who I used to be that I've gone overboard.

And this week, I hit a wall. I've hardly done anything. The laundry piled up. *gasp* The toilet was only cleaned twice this week. (uh huh, I've been cleaning it more than that) And I didn't always know what was for dinner by noon. (something I'm working on because it keeps us from eating out)

So, last night...I panicked. Josh and Jaylee were gone, my house was a disaster and I didn't know where to start.

I called my mommy. It makes FAPA go by much faster when you're on the phone.

And as we were talking, she assured me that just because I've let things go this week doesn't mean I'm falling back into the person I was before. She encouraged me and told me that I was a good wife and mom. It was nice to have that reassurance.

It took me over 45 minutes to FAPA all my laundry but I did it. I didn't do anything else but I did do that.

This road to recovery thing is a big deal for me.

Really hoping that a few years from now I don't still hit panic mode when 4 loads of laundry are piled on my bed, laughing at me.

Ready for Flips

Is it Summer yet? Or at least Spring?

'Cause I'm so very ready.

I'm looking forward to dandelions in my yard and bees buzzing in my trees. I'm ready for the six neighbor kids to be outside screaming at each other and often making their way to our house to play with my husband. I'm ready for the smell of barbecues. I'm ready for the snow to be out of my yard and the sogginess of our driveway to go away.

I'm ready for flips. They make my heart go pitter-patter.

It's a wonderful feeling that feeling of summer.

Short and Sweet...hey, kinda like me!

Quick post to say that today was the Mom's group.

And I went.

On the right day.

And I had fun.

And they didn't ask me how much I don't read my Bible!

Oh, and our lessons will be on Titus 2, how funny is that?! Seeing as how I've been reading that book I told ya about.

So, I'm pretty excited.

In need of Duct Tape

Bugger.

Where to begin?

Saturday night we had decided not to go to church because Jaylee is kinda sick. Runny nose mainly but a little cough, too. However, Sunday morning rolls around and we really wanna go to church.

We decide to go and have Jaylee sit with us through service and get the adults sick instead of the kids. I was a little apprehensive because we've not been too good at training her to sit still for long periods of time. (Kinda makes her sound like a puppy, huh?)

I'm totally getting off the subject I wanna be blogging about...

We get to church and as you walk in the door, there's a table with the latest sign-ups, Ladie's Bible Study worksheets, devotionals, etc. I noticed this week there were some bracelets. You know the ones. I think they started out with WWJD? And then Live Strong, and now there's a plethora of them.

The one I was looking at was pretty plain. Blue in color and had a simple verse on it. Philippians 2:14. I wasn't familiar with the verse, so I didn't take a bracelet.

We sit down in the back, in case Jaylee needs to be taken out of the sanctuary during the service. Because remember how our pastor is a stickler about noisy children? Anyway, I look up the verse.

"Do all things without complaining or disputing." Philippians 2:14 NKJV

Um...but how will I talk?

No, seriously.

How will I?

I'm such a complainer. Huge. Amazing. The best. You'd think I get paid for it.

But I decide to take one. Hoping, praying, that it will be a great reminder to me. Josh laughs everytime I start complaining. And each time I'm so close to ripping the bracelet off and chuckin' it across the room or just laying it nicely on my bible, like this.


I'm done for now. You know, talking about this. But I know it's an issue for me. So, I'm going to share more on it later. After I get more thoughts together. I can only have one at a time, ya know. :)

Oh, and we didn't have to take Jaylee out of the sanctuary. She was good!

He's lucky he's cute

Remember how I call him husband when he's been naughty?

Well, that's what we shall call him today.

After lunch today the husband and I decide to have some ice cream. His duty is to scoop it out (being the burly man that he is) and my duty is to smother it in chocolate.

So.

We have two bowls.

He has the scooper.

I have the syrup.

He scoops a big amount into one bowl and says: "This one is mine."

I ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because I'm a big boy."

Then he puts one measley scoop into my bowl and says: "This one is yours."

I foolishly ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because you're a big girl."

And then he chuckles. He's proud of his funny little joke.

And then I take his bowl of ice cream.

And I chuckle.

Dreaming of a Clean Home

It's not a dream around here. Mine is. Amazing, huh? I know!

But what I've noticed-no one ever just stops by when your house is clean. Nope, they show up the one (or twelve) days you didn't clean it.

My house smells like Pine-Sol. One of my most favoritest smells, ever. It doesn't smell like that because I merely opened the bottle, it smells heavenly in my home because I mopped the kitchen.

But will anyone just show up randomly on my doorstep today?

Nope.

Un uh.

Doesn't work that way for me.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my preggo pic. Saying how "adorable" I am...I'll be sure to remind myself of that the next time I'm nude and not feeling so "adorable".

A message from the Hoff

He also wants you to know that you can get your Valentine cards here. Your cards will be shipped Next Day, so you're sure to have 'em on time.

And if you don't need VD (that's making me laugh just a lil) cards, there are other cards available.

So, go make someone's day and "Send Snail Mail!"

You're Invited, even if ya can't make it

So, I'm hosting a Close to My Heart party. If you've never heard of CTMH, it's scrapbook and paper crafting products galore! I'm in love with it. I'm not very good at it but I love to scrapbook and I love CTMH's products. I love putting the pictures down on paper and journaling about the events of our lives. But it's not just about scrapbooking, there are plenty of other products for every other paper craft you've got goin' on!

If you wanna check it out, go here and you can browse their awesome stuff and even order if you find something(s) you like. It'll even be shipped right to ya!

I'll leave the link in my sidebar until the party closes.

3 months (or so) to go!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. I only have three months until the baby is due. Is it okay to admit I'm kinda in a state of panic?! I mean, I'm not-but I am.

Mainly I worry about the kids sharing a room.

Will the baby wake up Jaylee?
Will Jaylee try to get in the crib with the baby?
What if the baby's a boy, will he care that we've got some paisley going on in there?

I worry that I'll be feeding him/her and Jaylee will be running wild throughout the house and there won't be anything I can do to stop her.

I'm nervous about breastfeeding. I nursed Jaylee for a year but that first week, oh boy! I wanted to die! So, that has me a little apprehensive. If not for the encouragement of my husband and prayers of so many family and friends, I know I would've given up.

Lately I've been feeling the baby is a boy, but I thought Jaylee was going to be a boy and look how that turned out! :) We've picked a boy name I love, so that makes me happy. I really thought if the baby was a boy we'd be naming him just that, "boy" since we couldn't decide on anything.

Having my stomach muscles cut last March makes me nervous that my delivery won't go as smoothly as it did with Jaylee.

There are a few of my concerns.

I am excited too! Really, I am.

Should be fun to go into the hospital and lose all sense of modesty.

I'm looking forward to not having back pain from the bowling ball sticking out the front of me.

I'm excited to be able to see my feet again. Yeah, I already can't see 'em!

I'm going to love it when people ask me when my baby's due, you know, two weeks after it's born.

See, I have things I'm excited about. :)

So, here I am in all my 6 month pregnant glory. Treena, this is the shirt ya got me, it fits! And I'm wearing my glasses, since I told you guys I got 'em, I just never sported them for you.

Bear with me, I'm long winded today.

I've really been enjoying my book, Feminine Appeal.

I shared with you a few posts back about enjoying serving my husband, something I'm learning from this book.

A few years back, okay nine and a half years back...we were given a journal for a wedding gift. Inside the front cover were "rules" of the journal. It was something to write in to encourage one another, to resolve conflicts, just to say "I love you" etc. I was reading through past entries and my heart was broken.

See, for several years, I was only one who wrote in the journal. I thought Josh read it but never replied. The first entry was about three months after we were married and I wrote pretty often for awhile, then as I realized I was the only one writing, I got a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter. And my entries stopped being about how much I loved him or missed him while he was at work, and became more, "why don't you do this for me, why aren't we spending much time together, etc."

Let me also tell you that during this bitter time I was not a good homekeeper. I wasn't working yet I filled my day reading books, going shopping, do anything I could so I wouldn't have to be at home. My husband would work hard all day and come home to a messy house and no meal prepared for him. He'd been serving me all day long and I couldn't give him a hot meal?

My heart hurts remembering my foolish, selfish, childish behavior. I'm so thankful that Jesus has helped me see that in myself and has helped me to overcome it. Mostly I'm thankful for His forgiveness of my sin.

A few years into our marriage Josh started driving a semi-truck and was gone Sunday night to Friday evening. I could've gone with him but didn't. (another post, another time) We spent even less time together. My love language is quality time, you wanna make me feel loved, spend time with me!

Since he was never home, I stopped feeling loved. Things went downhill. Again, another post for another time...

Back to the journal...

One day I found the journal and considered tossing it. Why keep it if I'm the only one writing in it, what's the point? But decided to look in it, one last time.

And holy moly!

He'd written in it!

Page after page he wrote. Pouring out his heart. He'd not just never written me back, he didn't even know I'd written in it! Didn't remember the journal. He apologized. He read all my entries and could see my heart change through them. He saw that I became bitter about how much he worked and how little time we spent together.

Rereading it yesterday, this is where my heart broke:

"Whatever I do with my hands, I do for you."

The first time I read it, it didn't really hit me. But yesterday, thinking back to all the years those hands of his have worked hard to provide for me, I was in awe of him. All those cold mornings he'd be outside rolling tanks at the gas company or the year he pushed a lawn mower 12-14 hours a day, or the couple years he drove truck, shifting gears, tarping loads of lumber, hay, pipe, etc. And now back at the gas company, back to rolling tanks in extremely cold weather. And then, I remembered the pictures I took from the other night, after he finished working on my car, in freezing temperatures.


These are the hands of the man who has provided for me for the last nine and half years of my life.

These are the hands of the man who goes into the bathroom, gets a brush, and brushes my hair.

The hands of the man who busts his knuckles repairing our rigs.

The hands of the man who cuddles, tickles, rocks and disciplines our daughter.

The hands of the man who hold me while I cry for no reason.

These are the hands of the man who has served me for the last nine and a half years, without complaint.

I think now is a good time for me to start serving him. I may feel almost ten years late but I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of the next 50+ years I have of serving him.

Simple Date Night

Before Jaylee was born Josh and I went on dates a lot. It was easy to. We could just decide we wanted to go and that was that.

Now that she's around it's been quite a bit more difficult. Finding a babysitter isn't the easiest thing for us to do. Sure my in-laws aren't far from us, but it doesn't take long before I feel I'm abusing that privilege. For the most part, if we want to go do something, Jaylee goes along. It's not a bad thing. She's well behaved (for the most part) and she's fun to be around and she doesn't add any expense to our meals because she still eats from our plates. I'm enjoying this while it lasts!

However, there are times I would just like to be with my husband. And have all his attention on me and mine on him.

Last night was one of those nights I just wanted to be with him. But with a week til payday and no one to watch Jaylee, I had to be a lil creative.

So, I started Jaylee's bedtime routine an hour early. We read books, changed her into jammies, we played and then at 7 instead of 8, we put her to bed.

And for an extra hour Josh and I just enjoyed being together. We talked. I gave him a backrub. Then he left the room and came back with every pillow we own. He laid them out trying to make it so I could lay on my tummy so he could rub my back. It was pretty funny. Then we just sat on the couch and played Sudoku...or however you spell it.

It wasn't anything fancy. But it was free. Fun. Relaxing. Enjoyable.

And I think we'll do this more often.

Dork

That's me. Gave you the wrong address on my sidebar for my mother. She's all fixed now. So you can go stalk her.

Thanks, Erica for letting me know!