Panicking

When Jaylee was born I started a journal for her. I haven't written in it everyday but when she was first born I wrote quite often. Telling her our events for the day or marking milestones; first night in her crib, first time rolling over, crawling, teeth, etc. Well, I lost that journal. It's been a couple of months since I've written in it and every time something funny happens or the days that her and her daddy share a sweet moment I think, "oh, I'll remember to write it down when I find that journal."

But I don't remember.

Today my mission was to find that journal and write, write, write! So, I found it. In one of our end tables. It wasn't lost. I had put it in a place that would be easy to get to and because of that I made the searching process more difficult than it needed to be. I looked in dressers, a cedar chest, a box full of her keepsakes, my bookcase, under her crib, on the shelves of her changing table. Why look in the end table next to my chair that I sit in everyday?! Geesh.

So, I wrote. And I wrote some more. I looked back to my entry of October 4, 2005. She was just starting to grab at things in front of her, she was wanting to roll over, she needed to be held to see things because she couldn't sit up on her own yet. October 4, 2006 she's running all over, talking up a storm, she's aware of her surroundings, yet intrigued by everything new, she's asserting her independence...she's becoming a little girl.

I don't know if I'm ready for that. I know that I can't stop it. But I wish to slow it down.

It seems like yesterday she made those little noises that only the newest of babies make. You moms know what noise I'm talking about. While they are awake or even when they sleep, a little squeak, mixed with a sigh, their mouths twitch, eyes flutter...but about 2 months old, it stops. We used to call her Squeaker. Then one day she didn't squeak anymore. I think it was then I realized how fast time was flying by.

I don't mean for this blog to be a downer today. Maybe it's the rain today that has me feeling this way. I don't know...

But tonight, when you're so excited for bedtime because you'll have a few hours to yourself, to be a woman and not just "Mommy", when you lay your little or not so little one(s) down for bed, let that hug last just a lil longer, squeeze a lil tighter. Take a few minutes to praise Jesus for the miracle(s) He's blessed you with and ask Him to help you not take for granted their everyday.

I know I'm going to.