Dear Diary

So, if I were to write in a diary, here's what an entry may look like:



I panicked last night. Ali's three months old already. I picked her up and squeezed her, nuzzling into the rolls of her neck. She squeaked. I can't get enough of her. It amazes me to think that a month ago it was hard to be around her since she cried all the time. Now, she just smiles and gurgles and kicks her feet and throws her arms all around. She's adorable and she melts my heart every time I look at her.


When we sat down to dinner last night, holding hands to pray for our food, Jaylee begins to pray.


"Thank You, Lord, for not whining. Amen."


It was really hard not to bust out laughing. Josh and I smiled at her and said, "Amen." We've really been trying to teach her to not whine and I guess the other night when she was, Josh asked her to talk to Jesus about it.


She's so beautiful. Inside and out. I love her smile and her eyes are so sweet. She has such a sparkle about her and I pray it only gets brighter.


I've been quick tempered lately (what's new, huh?) and my husband has noticed. Two mornings ago he reminded me to speak to Jaylee in love. Made me sad that he had to remind me but I was thankful for his wisdom. Jaylee and I had a better day that day.


It's so easy sometimes to take Josh for granted. He's so faithful to go to work each day and come home to us each evening. I know I need to do better at showing him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him. We have some added expenses this month and he's putting in a lot of overtime to cover those expenses, he works so hard. Never complaining about being tired or overworked.


I love this man.


The other night he pissed me off pretty good. It's hard for me to be upset with him because he's so amazing in so many ways. But...I let myself be mad. And instead of letting the anger build, I decided to tell him. It didn't change what was happening but it felt good to get it off my chest and I was able to continue my evening without being too upset.


Erica is moving back. I'm excited. Too excited. I have all these daydreams that our families will get together every week for dinner and games. I want to plan all this stuff to do. I need to be logical and realize that it probably won't be like in my daydreams. We do have real lives to lead.


I'm tired. I think it's because I'm not doing enough. I notice that the more I do, less I feel tired. I have more energy when I'm up and at 'em, so to speak. I'm so good at making lists of things I need to get done but don't always follow through the best. I need to just do something. Something is better than nothing.

I almost went to a Weight Watchers meeting the other night. I'm sick of these 15 lbs that haunt me on a daily basis. I just can't see paying the 40 bucks a month to go when I lost 35 lbs a few years ago all on my own. It just seems harder now. I don't know why.

My 10 year class reunion is coming up. To go, or not to go...as the girl voted, "Most Likely to be Seen on Jerry Springer" I wouldn't want to disappoint ya know. But it's at a winery, which I'm totally all for...except I'm so much more of a casual kinda girl. I'd rather not have to get dressed up and try to dress in a fashion that I'm so not. I like wine and all but I'm more of a twist-top kinda wine girl! :)

My mother lives closer to us now. I'm enjoying that. We went and saw her last night just for funsies.

I'm not pleased with our small town. Driving through it basically disgusts me. It's just yucky here. I want to be content, I really do. But it's so hard when it's dirty and yucky and I think I should just stop there...

Yes, that is what an entry would look like. Maybe every Thursday should be Dear Diary.