Two mornings ago I heard it.
That sweet sound that has been a year comin'.
The sound of birds chirping outside my bedroom window.
This my friend is when I know spring is near. It was sweet music to my tired of winter soul.
With Spring comes green grass, filled in potholes on our road, blossoms on cherry trees, longer days of sunshine.
And Spring Cleaning.
With our new way of life coming up shortly, a list needs to be made of all the stuff that we need to get done before we head out over the road.
We have 1100 square feet of unfinished basement that houses a bunch of junk. Camping gear, Christmas decor, paint cans (because I change paint colors like I change diapers) more Christmas decor, baby clothes, skinny clothes (yes, someday I'll be skinny again)(stop laughing.)
It's time to get into that stuff and get it cleaned up.
But the last few nights and then early this morning, I've not been able to sleep well.
There's another area in my life that needs cleaning. Some serious serious cleaning.
My heart, folks. My heart.
Once again I find myself in front of the screen hour after hour, day after day. I make up every excuse I can. "Dishes are done, I can spend some time on FB." "Girls are napping, why not?" "I just FAPA'd two loads of laundry, let me reward myself."
But at the end of a day, I'm ill. Physically ill for the time I've wasted. Yesterday a friend threatened to delete her FB account. I panicked! I'd hate for her to do that. But two nights ago, I laid in bed considering deleting my blog and my Facebook. I know how she feels. While the computer is awesome in so many ways, it can easily suck the life right outta ya. And it does it slowly without you even realizing how much time is spent here.
I got out of bed at 5 this morning. I don't like 5 o'clock. But my heart hurt and I knew I needed to make it right. I opened up my Bible and a song sheet from church was still in there. The first song had these words...
My troubled soul, why so weighed down
You were not made to bear this heavy load
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you
Jesus cares, He cares for you
And all your worrying won't help you make it through
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
I will praise the might name of Jesus
Praise the Lord the lifter of my head
Praise the Rock of my salvation
All my days are in His faithful hands
My anxious heart, why so upset
When trials come, how you so easily forget
To cast your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you
The last part, about the anxious heart...that's me right now.
Anxious about the time I've lost by spending it here. Guilt. Fear. Sadness.
I have two girls who need me. Two girls that see the back of my head more than my face. So, I'm going to take the week off from here and get my heart right. My priorities right.
I have the best blog readers ever. Thanks for knowing that I go through this often. Usually I take a day off, or limit my time, but this time I think I need a bigger deal. Something to really make me look to Jesus and see why I'm spending so much time here.
So, I will see you next Thursday.
Love to you all.
5 comments:
And when you girls get that aching to get online.. think of Him and how we need to get that aching for Him.. I gave up Starbucks for 40 days and that is what it has been doing for me..I feel an ache when I go past a Starbucks... I need to feel that same ache or more so for HIM. It's all about Him anyway....
Bless you both!!
Good for you! I know how you feel. My kids must wonder what my face looks like. You are in my prayers!
You go, girl - you're doing what you know you need to, even though it's not easy! I struggle with this constantly, the crazy bloggy balance that I can never quite achieve.
See you when you get back!
hmm, guess we could probably ALL say this too. a break in anything is good...well except obviously from God, but balance is hard to find if you don't take time off the things that suck you in. good for you sarah!
I hope your break is going well.
I'll miss ya, but totally understand what you are going through.
I'm feeling the same way about my blog. It just seems to take up time. Time that needs to be spent doing other things. Maybe I need a break....
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