In our huge five years of parenting, we've changed here and there in the discipline department.
It used to be all spankin's and then for awhile I just gave up on disciplining at all (it lasted like a week) and now I feel like we're trying to do what's best for each situation. It might be a spankin', it might be a time-out, it might be some talking to or it might be that a lesson needs to be learned another way.
Case in point, last Wednesday night.
Our little family had some errands to run and my husband wanted to take us out to dinner. All of these things sounded fun but it was 6 degrees outside and if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I don't like to be cold.
Not even a little bit. I like my house to be at 75 degrees in the summer time and winter time.
6 degrees and I do not get along.
However, my five year old doesn't seem to mind being cold.
As we were getting ready to head out of the house she informs us she does not like her coat at all and does not want to wear it. We start to put it on her anyway and there's some protesting going on.
She says again that she doesn't like her coat. She says it's too bulky.
We were pretty frustrated. She has a very nice coat and lot o' kids don't have one.
There wasn't a spankin', no time-out, just a "you're going to learn this lesson on your own."
I made Sugar get out with me at each stop we had to go to. I was bundled up, she had no coat. I'm sure I looked like the worst mother ever for having myself all nice and toasty while my kid shivered in a green sweater.
When we got to the restaurant Josh parked as far away from the door as possible and we made sure we had to tie shoes along the way, stop to look at the pretty rocks and whatever else could stall us getting to the door.
"Sure wish I had my coat, I'm cold."
We talked with her about it. Let her know that we are so very blessed to have warm items to wear in the winter. Some people don't have the luxury.
I don't think a spanking or a time-out for her poor attitude would have taught her the lesson about why we need to be grateful to have coats. I think learning the lesson on her own really hit it home for her.
It's been nearly a week and she hasn't complained about wearing her coat since.
So, if you saw me in Safeway and Rite-Aid and El Valle last week with a kid without a coat, there was a reason. Promise. ☺
5 comments:
Wow! I don't think I would've thought of handling it that way but that was GREAT way for her to learn! You're right - a spanking or time-out wouldn't have worked the same way.
Good job! We have had that battle before. In years past, Kelsey has not lived with us so there wasn't a whole lot of us doing what was right for her, but a whole lot of us doing what her mother wanted us to do. one of those things was make Kelsey wear knee socks if it was less than 50 degrees out.
I'll let the imaginary battles play out in your mind.
This year, Chris brought up the subject of getting her some new knee socks (out of habit) and Kelsey started to complain. I just stopped the train right there and said, "Chris, I think Kelsey is old enough to decide on her own if she is cold. Let's let her be." Since then she has worn a coat if she wanted to, or not, and worn knee socks if she wanted to, or not. I'm so relieved that daily battle is gone. She's almost 13 for crying out loud, if she gets cold she will learn her lesson! :)
sometimes you just have to figure it out for yourself!
I don't know if I would have handled it that way. I lean toward getting my way ;)aka "I'm your mother and you WILL do what I tell you period! Even if I have to stuff you in this coat myself!"
definitely something for me to think about. I'm not very flexible with my kids.
I would have been more worried about the people looking at me weirdly for having a kid not wearing a coat in 6 degree weather. aldo something I'm working on...pride:(
Love it!!! And that is what it is all about! You are teaching them the real world and helping them make decisions on their own (and the right ones at that!). That type of discipline makes much more of a difference than spanking alone. : )
Great job to you, Miss Sarah! : )
I laughed out loud on the part where Josh parked as far away as he could. Yep, sounds like a lesson she won't ever forget. way to go mama!
Post a Comment