for life to slow down
for clear thoughts
to see God work it all out
for my tax return I am getting one, right, Kristie?
to get more done on our remodeling project
to talk about my dad during counseling
for a weekend away with my husband
to wear flip flops
for my husband's job change
to hear back from the doctor on Spice's bloodwork
to cut my hair
to enjoy 75 degree weather
to buy a pair of sunglasses
and did I mention I'm ready for my husband's job change?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Glimpse
The way Josh's loads for the truck have been going this week he was home Monday night, Tuesday night and last night.
It was so nice to have him home at night. Enjoying an evening together, with the girls. I loved looking forward to him coming home each of those evenings and having dinner together. I loved having him here to help with the nighttime routine with the girls. I loved hanging out after they were asleep, just talking and enjoying his company. And I loved snuggling next to him in bed.
It made me miss his old job.
But gets me excited for what's in store.
It was so nice to have him home at night. Enjoying an evening together, with the girls. I loved looking forward to him coming home each of those evenings and having dinner together. I loved having him here to help with the nighttime routine with the girls. I loved hanging out after they were asleep, just talking and enjoying his company. And I loved snuggling next to him in bed.
It made me miss his old job.
But gets me excited for what's in store.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Out in the Open
I think part of the reason I don't hold much back here on my blog is because for too long I was very good at keeping secrets. I was great at hiding stuff. And it made me sick.
You can only keep secrets hidden for so long before they're found out.
Before you hurt others.
Before you hurt yourself.
I'm not talking about the secret you're (I'm) keeping that you (I) ate 7 Oreos dipped in white chocolate over the weekend and you (I) would just rather no one else know about it.
I'm talking about lies.
Any time I feel like I'm not open about something, I feel like I'm being secretive. Like I'm lying. It's not a good feeling.
What I'm about to tell you, I don't have to tell you. It's really not important for anyone else to know about. But I don't want it to be a secret.
On Super Bowl Sunday we were driving home from my SIL's house. This drive gives us a little over three hours to talk. Sometimes we make small talk, sometimes we talk about our goals and other times we get pretty serious.
February 7th was serious.
Through my blog posts and interaction with me personally, I'm sure many of you know that I haven't been feeling well emotionally.
I am unhealthy.
I don't like it. My husband doesn't like it. My kids don't like it. Nor do my family and friends.
I want to get better. I need to get better.
So, last Friday I went in for the first of my weekly visits with a Christian counselor. During our phone call when I set up the appointment she asked me how I found her. God Bless, Google! ☺ I wasn't nervous at all to go in and talk with her.
Until about five minutes before I walked in her door.
Upon seeing her though I just felt this peace. She has this wonderful accent and her name, though pronounced differently, is very similar to a friend of mine from church and it may seem silly but even that little thing about her put me at ease.
We sat and talked. Well, I talked.
A lot.
And she listened.
A lot.
So. There it is. There's my non-secret. I'm going to counseling.
And I'm going to be a better woman, wife, mama, sister, daughter and friend for it.
You can only keep secrets hidden for so long before they're found out.
Before you hurt others.
Before you hurt yourself.
I'm not talking about the secret you're (I'm) keeping that you (I) ate 7 Oreos dipped in white chocolate over the weekend and you (I) would just rather no one else know about it.
I'm talking about lies.
Any time I feel like I'm not open about something, I feel like I'm being secretive. Like I'm lying. It's not a good feeling.
What I'm about to tell you, I don't have to tell you. It's really not important for anyone else to know about. But I don't want it to be a secret.
On Super Bowl Sunday we were driving home from my SIL's house. This drive gives us a little over three hours to talk. Sometimes we make small talk, sometimes we talk about our goals and other times we get pretty serious.
February 7th was serious.
Through my blog posts and interaction with me personally, I'm sure many of you know that I haven't been feeling well emotionally.
I am unhealthy.
I don't like it. My husband doesn't like it. My kids don't like it. Nor do my family and friends.
I want to get better. I need to get better.
So, last Friday I went in for the first of my weekly visits with a Christian counselor. During our phone call when I set up the appointment she asked me how I found her. God Bless, Google! ☺ I wasn't nervous at all to go in and talk with her.
Until about five minutes before I walked in her door.
Upon seeing her though I just felt this peace. She has this wonderful accent and her name, though pronounced differently, is very similar to a friend of mine from church and it may seem silly but even that little thing about her put me at ease.
We sat and talked. Well, I talked.
A lot.
And she listened.
A lot.
So. There it is. There's my non-secret. I'm going to counseling.
And I'm going to be a better woman, wife, mama, sister, daughter and friend for it.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day
There are still a couple hours left of this day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
This isn't a holiday I care too much about. Don't get me wrong, I used to. I used to think it was all about flowers and gifts and the perfect card and going out to dinner.
Then I realized that that put way too much pressure on my husband.
I think I realized the pressure that is put on men when I worked at a flower shop during Valentine's Day. There were men scrambling at the last minute, panicked that they hadn't gotten there in time to order flowers. Freaking out because, "now what were they going to do?"
I've seen on many Valentine's Days the disappointment my husband has in himself when he realizes the day is here and he's forgotten. I always get him at least a card and usually a small gift. It ends up just making him feel bad.
I went to Target twice this week, the first time passing the Valentine section and resolving that I would not buy him a card, just in case he didn't get me one, so as not to make him feel bad. But the second trip I couldn't pass up the card section. I wanted to get him a little card. And I did. Nothing fancy shmancy, just a card with candy hearts on it. Inside telling him I love him with my whole heart.
Much to my surprise Josh bought me a gift this year! He's so cute. And sweet. And thoughtful.
This morning he handed me the sweetest bag, made of plastic with blue lettering.
"Wal*Mart" and inside....
A razor.
It's no secret that these legs of mine rarely see a razor. Shaving my legs takes time (they're big legs!) time that I just don't have to spare in the shower. I also don't like shaving my legs because my razor sucks.
Josh was thoughtful enough to get me a nice razor and shave gel!
Now if I could just find the time to use 'em.
Happy Valentine's Day.
This isn't a holiday I care too much about. Don't get me wrong, I used to. I used to think it was all about flowers and gifts and the perfect card and going out to dinner.
Then I realized that that put way too much pressure on my husband.
I think I realized the pressure that is put on men when I worked at a flower shop during Valentine's Day. There were men scrambling at the last minute, panicked that they hadn't gotten there in time to order flowers. Freaking out because, "now what were they going to do?"
I've seen on many Valentine's Days the disappointment my husband has in himself when he realizes the day is here and he's forgotten. I always get him at least a card and usually a small gift. It ends up just making him feel bad.
I went to Target twice this week, the first time passing the Valentine section and resolving that I would not buy him a card, just in case he didn't get me one, so as not to make him feel bad. But the second trip I couldn't pass up the card section. I wanted to get him a little card. And I did. Nothing fancy shmancy, just a card with candy hearts on it. Inside telling him I love him with my whole heart.
Much to my surprise Josh bought me a gift this year! He's so cute. And sweet. And thoughtful.
This morning he handed me the sweetest bag, made of plastic with blue lettering.
"Wal*Mart" and inside....
A razor.
It's no secret that these legs of mine rarely see a razor. Shaving my legs takes time (they're big legs!) time that I just don't have to spare in the shower. I also don't like shaving my legs because my razor sucks.
Josh was thoughtful enough to get me a nice razor and shave gel!
Now if I could just find the time to use 'em.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
At my husband's expense
We carry embarrassing moments with us forever. I know I've tried to repress a few of mine but they always seem to surface somehow or another.
Usually by the reminder of friends or family.
I truly believe that embarrassing moments aren't only to keep us humble but are for the enjoyment of others.
Such is the case for my husband's most recent embarrassing moment. A moment that happened nearly two months ago but he only just told me about today.
And after hearing what happened to the poor guy (and laughing my head off to the point of tears and my ugly laugh) I understand why it took him so long to tell me about it.
So, with his permission, I tell you his story...
This morning (2.10.2010) I had an appointment with an oral surgeon for my wisdom teeth. On my way to my appointment I was going to drop off our tax stuff at a CPA office. It wasn't a place I was familiar with and once I got to the office there were two doors. Neither marked.
As much as I'm afraid of mice or spiders, I am more afraid of a place that has more than one door. Especially when they are not clearly marked.
So I never even got outta my car. I left without dropping off my tax info and continued on another 25 miles to the oral surgeon.
I called Josh to tell him I made it to my appointment 40 minutes early - because that's how I roll - and that the CPA office had more than one door. I told him (though I didn't need to) that I didn't end up dropping off our taxes because of the door situation.
And he proceeds to tell me about his own recent door situation...
About two months ago he was hauling a load of hay and heading to a dairy. He called for directions and the dairyman's wife gave very specific directions of how to find them.
Yellow buildings. Fairly desolate area. On the right hand side of the road.
So, he's driving along, turns where he's supposed to and sees a Dead End sign. When you're pulling doubles this is never good. He doesn't want to go too far because it's not like you can just easily back up a semi with a set of doubles. So he's cautious as he's driving down the road. He sees a few yellow buildings and for the most part the area is pretty quiet. There aren't any cows (this shoulda been his first clue as he is dropping off a load of hay) but nevermind that...
He sees a John Deere green caboose that's about three or four feet off the ground with a few trucks parked next to it.
"Must be their office." He says to himself.
He pulls his Peterbilt in, walks up the stairs to the "office" and opens the door without knocking. Only to find a very heavy set man standing in his bathroom, wearing a flannel shirt and no pants.
A flannel shirt.
And no pants.
"Welp, guess this isn't the right place." And he closes the door to the man's caboose house, walks down the stairs, proceeds a mile and a half up the road to the actual dairy.
Where no one is wearing flannel but everyone is wearing pants.
Usually by the reminder of friends or family.
I truly believe that embarrassing moments aren't only to keep us humble but are for the enjoyment of others.
Such is the case for my husband's most recent embarrassing moment. A moment that happened nearly two months ago but he only just told me about today.
And after hearing what happened to the poor guy (and laughing my head off to the point of tears and my ugly laugh) I understand why it took him so long to tell me about it.
So, with his permission, I tell you his story...
This morning (2.10.2010) I had an appointment with an oral surgeon for my wisdom teeth. On my way to my appointment I was going to drop off our tax stuff at a CPA office. It wasn't a place I was familiar with and once I got to the office there were two doors. Neither marked.
As much as I'm afraid of mice or spiders, I am more afraid of a place that has more than one door. Especially when they are not clearly marked.
So I never even got outta my car. I left without dropping off my tax info and continued on another 25 miles to the oral surgeon.
I called Josh to tell him I made it to my appointment 40 minutes early - because that's how I roll - and that the CPA office had more than one door. I told him (though I didn't need to) that I didn't end up dropping off our taxes because of the door situation.
And he proceeds to tell me about his own recent door situation...
About two months ago he was hauling a load of hay and heading to a dairy. He called for directions and the dairyman's wife gave very specific directions of how to find them.
Yellow buildings. Fairly desolate area. On the right hand side of the road.
So, he's driving along, turns where he's supposed to and sees a Dead End sign. When you're pulling doubles this is never good. He doesn't want to go too far because it's not like you can just easily back up a semi with a set of doubles. So he's cautious as he's driving down the road. He sees a few yellow buildings and for the most part the area is pretty quiet. There aren't any cows (this shoulda been his first clue as he is dropping off a load of hay) but nevermind that...
He sees a John Deere green caboose that's about three or four feet off the ground with a few trucks parked next to it.
"Must be their office." He says to himself.
He pulls his Peterbilt in, walks up the stairs to the "office" and opens the door without knocking. Only to find a very heavy set man standing in his bathroom, wearing a flannel shirt and no pants.
A flannel shirt.
And no pants.
"Welp, guess this isn't the right place." And he closes the door to the man's caboose house, walks down the stairs, proceeds a mile and a half up the road to the actual dairy.
Where no one is wearing flannel but everyone is wearing pants.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
The Monday Random
Just realized I lost a "follower" and even though I'm bummed about it, what can I do? Nothing.
Took Spice in for a well-child check up. We don't visit the doctor often because the doctor and I don't get along well. Rather, we don't see eye to eye on a few things. So, I switched to a Naturopathic Doctor yesterday and feel very comfortable with her.
She informed me Spice is in the 50th percentile for height but isn't even on the charts for weight. She said I need to try to fatten 'er up a bit. I wanted to ask if we could do liposuction on me right there and just transfer it to Spice. Then realized it's the first time we're meeting and she might not appreciate my humor.
Not many people do.
After that appointment I had to take Spice to get blood drawn. JOY! There was a girl in line before us who informed the phlebotomist that she had just used. The phlebotomist wanted to see her arms. She took off her large coat and revealed not only the tracks in her arms but the fact that she was about six months pregnant.
My heart broke.
For the baby. And the mama.
I went to bed at 7:25 last night and was asleep in minutes. It felt amazing.
We've done very little to the remodel of our house the last couple of weeks. Thinking our house guests this weekend will change that.
My husband and I don't "do" Valentine's day. I get the girls a little something and a card for him and sometimes a gift but that's it.
Maybe I should have phrased that, "my husband doesn't do Valentine's day." =)
I'm having my wisdom teeth looked at tomorrow. I need to have them out and they're going to give me an estimate for what it'll cost me. Since I don't have insurance I'm sure anything over $5 is going to freak me out. =) I have two that are poking out and two that haven't even surfaced but are pushing on the nerves of my other teeth. No good.
My husband is in Montana right now. I don't like having him that far away. I cried on our phone call tonight. I'm such a weenie.
I have a two bedroom condo rented on the beach for two days next month and no clue what to do with it. Go alone, perhaps?
My house was clean yesterday.
Wish ya coulda seen it.
Took Spice in for a well-child check up. We don't visit the doctor often because the doctor and I don't get along well. Rather, we don't see eye to eye on a few things. So, I switched to a Naturopathic Doctor yesterday and feel very comfortable with her.
She informed me Spice is in the 50th percentile for height but isn't even on the charts for weight. She said I need to try to fatten 'er up a bit. I wanted to ask if we could do liposuction on me right there and just transfer it to Spice. Then realized it's the first time we're meeting and she might not appreciate my humor.
Not many people do.
After that appointment I had to take Spice to get blood drawn. JOY! There was a girl in line before us who informed the phlebotomist that she had just used. The phlebotomist wanted to see her arms. She took off her large coat and revealed not only the tracks in her arms but the fact that she was about six months pregnant.
My heart broke.
For the baby. And the mama.
I went to bed at 7:25 last night and was asleep in minutes. It felt amazing.
We've done very little to the remodel of our house the last couple of weeks. Thinking our house guests this weekend will change that.
My husband and I don't "do" Valentine's day. I get the girls a little something and a card for him and sometimes a gift but that's it.
Maybe I should have phrased that, "my husband doesn't do Valentine's day." =)
I'm having my wisdom teeth looked at tomorrow. I need to have them out and they're going to give me an estimate for what it'll cost me. Since I don't have insurance I'm sure anything over $5 is going to freak me out. =) I have two that are poking out and two that haven't even surfaced but are pushing on the nerves of my other teeth. No good.
My husband is in Montana right now. I don't like having him that far away. I cried on our phone call tonight. I'm such a weenie.
I have a two bedroom condo rented on the beach for two days next month and no clue what to do with it. Go alone, perhaps?
My house was clean yesterday.
Wish ya coulda seen it.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Giveaway answers and WINNER
You guys did great!
Here are the answers...
Question #1
Who was my last boyfriend in high school?
a.) Eric
b.) Trevor
c.) Josh
Question #2
Which department store did I wet my pants in when I was nine?
a.) Shop-Ko seriously, nine? why did I continue to look around the store for my mom and not a bathroom?!
b.) Wal-Mart
c.) Target
Question #3
What is my current favorite color?
a.) orange I'm going on two years loving this color...red is a close second!
b.) red
c.) black
Question #4
If offered a plane ticket to any state in the US which would I choose?
a.) Hawaii
b.) Tennessee I do dream of going to New York one day but right now I have four people in TN that I want to meet SO badly! (hint hint, husband...)
c.) New York
Question #5
Which thing am I most afraid of?
a.) Snakes
b.) Mice uh, remember my incident a couple of weeks ago? *shiver*
c.) Spiders
Question #6
How old was I when my husband and I got married?
a.) 18 fresh outta high school! I turned 18 a month before we got married. CUH-RAZY!
b.) 19
c.) 20
Question #7
Which of these have I not lived in?
a.) duplex I'm only 29...never know what's in store, I may be able to check it off my list one day.
b.) apartment
c.) fifth wheel (yes, I really lived in one.)
Question # 8
What is my favorite holiday?
a.) My birthday do I do a Christmas or Thanksgiving giveaway each month? uh, no. I LOVE my Birthday!!!
b.) Christmas
c.) Thanksgiving
Question #9
Which chore do I love the most? (this isn't a trick question, there's one I love!)
a.) Laundry
b.) Cleaning the bathroom instant gratification. Love this room.
c.) Dishes
Question #10
On Saturday my husband and I discussed boys names. If I were to have a son, what would we name him?
a.) Jack
b.) Silas
c.) Myron only Mary got this question right. Good job, Mar! When I went into the hospital to have Spice we had two boys and two girls names we liked. Jack and Silas were our boy names I liked. Silas the most. Josh isn't a fan of either. If we had a boy both names are out. :( He liked Myron...it's a family name on my side. The middle name would be a family name on his side. We'll never have to worry about it though....right?
Four of you tied for only missing two!
Tied for first:
1. Charissa
2. Maria
3. Treena
4. Denise
Random.org chose....
Number 1!
Charissa, shall we meet for coffee some evening so I can hand your gift card to you in person?
Here are the answers...
Question #1
Who was my last boyfriend in high school?
a.) Eric
b.) Trevor
c.) Josh
Question #2
Which department store did I wet my pants in when I was nine?
a.) Shop-Ko seriously, nine? why did I continue to look around the store for my mom and not a bathroom?!
b.) Wal-Mart
c.) Target
Question #3
What is my current favorite color?
a.) orange I'm going on two years loving this color...red is a close second!
b.) red
c.) black
Question #4
If offered a plane ticket to any state in the US which would I choose?
a.) Hawaii
b.) Tennessee I do dream of going to New York one day but right now I have four people in TN that I want to meet SO badly! (hint hint, husband...)
c.) New York
Question #5
Which thing am I most afraid of?
a.) Snakes
b.) Mice uh, remember my incident a couple of weeks ago? *shiver*
c.) Spiders
Question #6
How old was I when my husband and I got married?
a.) 18 fresh outta high school! I turned 18 a month before we got married. CUH-RAZY!
b.) 19
c.) 20
Question #7
Which of these have I not lived in?
a.) duplex I'm only 29...never know what's in store, I may be able to check it off my list one day.
b.) apartment
c.) fifth wheel (yes, I really lived in one.)
Question # 8
What is my favorite holiday?
a.) My birthday do I do a Christmas or Thanksgiving giveaway each month? uh, no. I LOVE my Birthday!!!
b.) Christmas
c.) Thanksgiving
Question #9
Which chore do I love the most? (this isn't a trick question, there's one I love!)
a.) Laundry
b.) Cleaning the bathroom instant gratification. Love this room.
c.) Dishes
Question #10
On Saturday my husband and I discussed boys names. If I were to have a son, what would we name him?
a.) Jack
b.) Silas
c.) Myron only Mary got this question right. Good job, Mar! When I went into the hospital to have Spice we had two boys and two girls names we liked. Jack and Silas were our boy names I liked. Silas the most. Josh isn't a fan of either. If we had a boy both names are out. :( He liked Myron...it's a family name on my side. The middle name would be a family name on his side. We'll never have to worry about it though....right?
Four of you tied for only missing two!
Tied for first:
1. Charissa
2. Maria
3. Treena
4. Denise
Random.org chose....
Number 1!
Charissa, shall we meet for coffee some evening so I can hand your gift card to you in person?
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Birthday Giveaway...with a Twist!
I know that about a week ago I should have posted the bloggy birthday giveaway and announced a winner today. Today being four months from my birthday. My 30th birthday. The bestest day of my life.
Okay, maybe not the bestest. But I sure do love that day.
I wasn't sure what to post as a giveaway this month. I've been in such a rut. Such a funk. Not that you'd know it by my last post or anything...nuh uh.
But I promised I'd give something away each month til my big day and goll darnit, I'm gonna!
However, this time you're going to have to work for it.
I'm going to have a little quiz and in your comment leave the letter for your answer. Whoever has the most correct answers, wins. If there is more than one winner, I'll random.org between those.
Ready? Okay!
Question #1
Who was my last boyfriend in high school?
a.) Eric
b.) Trevor
c.) Josh
Question #2
Which department store did I wet my pants in when I was nine?
a.) Shop-Ko
b.) Wal-Mart
c.) Target
Question #3
What is my current favorite color?
a.) orange
b.) red
c.) black
Question #4
If offered a plane ticket to any state in the US which would I choose?
a.) Hawaii
b.) Tennessee
c.) New York
Question #5
Which thing am I most afraid of?
a.) Snakes
b.) Mice
c.) Spiders
Question #6
How old was I when my husband and I got married?
a.) 18
b.) 19
c.) 20
Question #7
Which of these have I not lived in?
a.) duplex
b.) apartment
c.) fifth wheel
Question # 8
What is my favorite holiday?
a.) My birthday
b.) Christmas
c.) Thanksgiving
Question #9
Which chore do I love the most? (this isn't a trick question, there's one I love!)
a.) Laundry
b.) Cleaning the bathroom
c.) Dishes
Question #10
On Saturday my husband and I discussed boys names. If I were to have a son, what would we name him?
a.) Jack
b.) Silas
c.) Myron
I'll take answers through tomorrow night and Friday evening I'll post the winner.
Oh, wanna know what you're playing for?
A gift card to Target.
Good Luck!
*if you comment anonymously...please leave your name.
Okay, maybe not the bestest. But I sure do love that day.
I wasn't sure what to post as a giveaway this month. I've been in such a rut. Such a funk. Not that you'd know it by my last post or anything...nuh uh.
But I promised I'd give something away each month til my big day and goll darnit, I'm gonna!
However, this time you're going to have to work for it.
I'm going to have a little quiz and in your comment leave the letter for your answer. Whoever has the most correct answers, wins. If there is more than one winner, I'll random.org between those.
Ready? Okay!
Question #1
Who was my last boyfriend in high school?
a.) Eric
b.) Trevor
c.) Josh
Question #2
Which department store did I wet my pants in when I was nine?
a.) Shop-Ko
b.) Wal-Mart
c.) Target
Question #3
What is my current favorite color?
a.) orange
b.) red
c.) black
Question #4
If offered a plane ticket to any state in the US which would I choose?
a.) Hawaii
b.) Tennessee
c.) New York
Question #5
Which thing am I most afraid of?
a.) Snakes
b.) Mice
c.) Spiders
Question #6
How old was I when my husband and I got married?
a.) 18
b.) 19
c.) 20
Question #7
Which of these have I not lived in?
a.) duplex
b.) apartment
c.) fifth wheel
Question # 8
What is my favorite holiday?
a.) My birthday
b.) Christmas
c.) Thanksgiving
Question #9
Which chore do I love the most? (this isn't a trick question, there's one I love!)
a.) Laundry
b.) Cleaning the bathroom
c.) Dishes
Question #10
On Saturday my husband and I discussed boys names. If I were to have a son, what would we name him?
a.) Jack
b.) Silas
c.) Myron
I'll take answers through tomorrow night and Friday evening I'll post the winner.
Oh, wanna know what you're playing for?
A gift card to Target.
Good Luck!
*if you comment anonymously...please leave your name.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
i don't expect you to understand
sigh.
what started out as a decent day quickly went downhill. the crazy thing about it, i don't know when it happened or how it happened. i just know it happened.
josh was supposed to come home last night.
didn't happen.
not his fault. just truck life and never knowing from hour to hour what's going to pan out.
then spice decided to lock herself in the bathroom while i was on the phone with my sil. i quickly hung up (sorry, treena) and called my husband as i headed outside to see if the bathroom window was unlocked.
"where are you?" i asked as i was climbing on our a/c unit outside to reach the window.
"about to pull in the driveway, why?" as he's saying this i can hear and see him pulling in.
i whispered a prayer of thanksgiving that he was home in time to climb in the (unlocked) bathroom window. a fat girl trying to hoist herself into a tiny window would not look too hot from the road, of this i'm sure.
spice is in the bathroom and as i lift the window she yells, "HI!"
josh rescues her.
he eats lunch with the girls, lays them down for naps and has to jet.
the next three hours are spent with the girls not sleeping and me trying to do our taxes. i've done our taxes myself on turbotax for the last three years. this year is different because we have an hsa account. it's completely screwed me up and ticked me off.
didn't help that my girls wouldn't sleep, either. i decided to take a bath and turn the fan on in the bathroom to drown out the sound of my children. yes, i'm that great of a mom. then i fell asleep in the bathtub. i don't recommend this unless wearing a life jacket while you bathe.
josh called to inform me he wouldn't be coming back after he loaded pipe as originally planned because he needed to have something fixed on his truck and we spent time on the phone talking about our taxes and me crying because why-the-heck-can't-i-do-THEM!?
i finally (at around 4) sent a text to my husband requesting a straight jacket for my birthday. i also requested it in size 37x because it should fit just right by the time my birthday and i roll around.
he sent another one back asking if i'd like to meet for dinner at the golden arches and starbucks.
uh, duh.
i realized i should probably get dressed. i put on a pair of jeans but they wouldn't button or zip and i realized i'd need a long hoodie to cover that fact up.
then i let my kids out of the prison of their bedroom and slung 'em into the car.
no coats or socks.
in fact, they were still wearing their jammies.
i picked my husband up at his boss' house and we headed to mcd's. i didn't realize he wanted to go in and he didn't realize the kids wouldn't be dressed. tis a good thing my van is an absolute disaster right now and has almost our entire house in it because he found enough clothes for both girls.
but i didn't want to get out.
i hadn't brushed my hair.
or my teeth.
or put on deodorant.
and if i lifted my arms too much someone was bound to see my jeans weren't buttoned or zipped.
so, he left me in the van.
and i panicked.
i sent out an sos over facebook asking for prayer because i was needing it quick.
josh took the girls into burger king instead (mcd's was having fundraiser night and was completely packed) and i could see the three of them sitting in there together. i wanted to be with them. but i was so angry. i don't even know at what.
i was also embarrassed because hello, i was acting like a four year old.
i pulled the hood up on my hoodie, got out of my van, walked across the street and joined my family for dinner.
then told my husband i should have my tubes tied because i'm not fit to be a mother to two children, so what have we been thinking considering more?! seriously, that was our conversation over dinner.
we headed to starbucks afterward and by the end of our 90 minutes together my mood had lifted and we were laughing and enjoying being together.
spice fell asleep on the ride home so she went straight to bed.
sugar and i played a couple games of candyland and then it was off to bed for her. in her prayer tonight, get this, she thanked the Lord for our great day.
she must be nuts like her mom.
what started out as a decent day quickly went downhill. the crazy thing about it, i don't know when it happened or how it happened. i just know it happened.
josh was supposed to come home last night.
didn't happen.
not his fault. just truck life and never knowing from hour to hour what's going to pan out.
then spice decided to lock herself in the bathroom while i was on the phone with my sil. i quickly hung up (sorry, treena) and called my husband as i headed outside to see if the bathroom window was unlocked.
"where are you?" i asked as i was climbing on our a/c unit outside to reach the window.
"about to pull in the driveway, why?" as he's saying this i can hear and see him pulling in.
i whispered a prayer of thanksgiving that he was home in time to climb in the (unlocked) bathroom window. a fat girl trying to hoist herself into a tiny window would not look too hot from the road, of this i'm sure.
spice is in the bathroom and as i lift the window she yells, "HI!"
josh rescues her.
he eats lunch with the girls, lays them down for naps and has to jet.
the next three hours are spent with the girls not sleeping and me trying to do our taxes. i've done our taxes myself on turbotax for the last three years. this year is different because we have an hsa account. it's completely screwed me up and ticked me off.
didn't help that my girls wouldn't sleep, either. i decided to take a bath and turn the fan on in the bathroom to drown out the sound of my children. yes, i'm that great of a mom. then i fell asleep in the bathtub. i don't recommend this unless wearing a life jacket while you bathe.
josh called to inform me he wouldn't be coming back after he loaded pipe as originally planned because he needed to have something fixed on his truck and we spent time on the phone talking about our taxes and me crying because why-the-heck-can't-i-do-THEM!?
i finally (at around 4) sent a text to my husband requesting a straight jacket for my birthday. i also requested it in size 37x because it should fit just right by the time my birthday and i roll around.
he sent another one back asking if i'd like to meet for dinner at the golden arches and starbucks.
uh, duh.
i realized i should probably get dressed. i put on a pair of jeans but they wouldn't button or zip and i realized i'd need a long hoodie to cover that fact up.
then i let my kids out of the prison of their bedroom and slung 'em into the car.
no coats or socks.
in fact, they were still wearing their jammies.
i picked my husband up at his boss' house and we headed to mcd's. i didn't realize he wanted to go in and he didn't realize the kids wouldn't be dressed. tis a good thing my van is an absolute disaster right now and has almost our entire house in it because he found enough clothes for both girls.
but i didn't want to get out.
i hadn't brushed my hair.
or my teeth.
or put on deodorant.
and if i lifted my arms too much someone was bound to see my jeans weren't buttoned or zipped.
so, he left me in the van.
and i panicked.
i sent out an sos over facebook asking for prayer because i was needing it quick.
josh took the girls into burger king instead (mcd's was having fundraiser night and was completely packed) and i could see the three of them sitting in there together. i wanted to be with them. but i was so angry. i don't even know at what.
i was also embarrassed because hello, i was acting like a four year old.
i pulled the hood up on my hoodie, got out of my van, walked across the street and joined my family for dinner.
then told my husband i should have my tubes tied because i'm not fit to be a mother to two children, so what have we been thinking considering more?! seriously, that was our conversation over dinner.
we headed to starbucks afterward and by the end of our 90 minutes together my mood had lifted and we were laughing and enjoying being together.
spice fell asleep on the ride home so she went straight to bed.
sugar and i played a couple games of candyland and then it was off to bed for her. in her prayer tonight, get this, she thanked the Lord for our great day.
she must be nuts like her mom.
Monday, February 01, 2010
His Laugh
Every once in a while, but not too often, I'll let myself really think about my dad.
Like, really think about him.
Tonight is one of those times.
These 10 and a half years without him have made it hard to remember things about him. And tonight I find myself panicking about it.
One of my favorite things about my dad was his laugh.
Tonight, I realized that I can't hear it in my head anymore. I used to be able to play it over and over if I wanted to. Tonight I can't.
Oh, my heart hurts.
A few months back we were at a harvest party for Josh's company and there was a guy there who had hands just like my dad. Hands that worked but were perfectly manicured. That guy probably thought I was crazy because I kept staring at his hands all night.
I've mentioned before that a couple of years ago I saw a guy from the back who looked exactly like my dad. Same build, same stance, same bushy hair coming out of a baseball cap. I wanted to run up and hug him.
That woulda been awkward.
I'm sad to have this memory of my dad, his laugh, gone from my memory. I've emailed a girl whose family was very close with my dad for many years, asking if they have any home videos of him that I could borrow. Is that silly?
Even sillier, will you pray they do? And that they'd loan them to me?
I'm kinda missing him right now.
His laugh the most.
Like, really think about him.
Tonight is one of those times.
These 10 and a half years without him have made it hard to remember things about him. And tonight I find myself panicking about it.
One of my favorite things about my dad was his laugh.
Tonight, I realized that I can't hear it in my head anymore. I used to be able to play it over and over if I wanted to. Tonight I can't.
Oh, my heart hurts.
A few months back we were at a harvest party for Josh's company and there was a guy there who had hands just like my dad. Hands that worked but were perfectly manicured. That guy probably thought I was crazy because I kept staring at his hands all night.
I've mentioned before that a couple of years ago I saw a guy from the back who looked exactly like my dad. Same build, same stance, same bushy hair coming out of a baseball cap. I wanted to run up and hug him.
That woulda been awkward.
I'm sad to have this memory of my dad, his laugh, gone from my memory. I've emailed a girl whose family was very close with my dad for many years, asking if they have any home videos of him that I could borrow. Is that silly?
Even sillier, will you pray they do? And that they'd loan them to me?
I'm kinda missing him right now.
His laugh the most.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
No perfect ending
My house was a mess this weekend. I just wasn't in the mood to do anything other than be by my kids and husband.
But today we were having company and nothin' spurs this chick on to clean the house more than company.
So I got to cleaning. I cleaned our living room, our bathroom and the kitchen. In one hour. This job usually takes me an entire day but today...today it took an hour.
I started wondering what the dealio was. Why was I able to get everything done in an hour that will normally take me a whole day to do?
What was different?
Josh was here to take care of the girls. During the day when I'm here with them and trying to clean they are needy.
They need me.
To answer questions.
To wipe noses.
And bottoms.
To find the matching sock.
And to tie shoes.
To cut food into itty bitty pieces.
To hug.
And kiss.
To say "no-no!"
To read books.
And read some more books.
To change diapers.
And bathe.
To brush hair.
And teeth.
They need me to "watch this!"
and kiss owies afterward.
To follow them around.
And around.
To repeat myself.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I find it all very exhausting and challenging.
And I'd love to end this post with some wonderful heartwarming sentiment about how I wouldn't trade it for the world and it's so rewarding and on and on.
But I'm not going to.
It's hard work. This being a woman. Being a wife. Being a mom.
I'm scared everyday that I'm failing the people in my life. Especially my little people.
I need to find a way to do better.
But today we were having company and nothin' spurs this chick on to clean the house more than company.
So I got to cleaning. I cleaned our living room, our bathroom and the kitchen. In one hour. This job usually takes me an entire day but today...today it took an hour.
I started wondering what the dealio was. Why was I able to get everything done in an hour that will normally take me a whole day to do?
What was different?
Josh was here to take care of the girls. During the day when I'm here with them and trying to clean they are needy.
They need me.
To answer questions.
To wipe noses.
And bottoms.
To find the matching sock.
And to tie shoes.
To cut food into itty bitty pieces.
To hug.
And kiss.
To say "no-no!"
To read books.
And read some more books.
To change diapers.
And bathe.
To brush hair.
And teeth.
They need me to "watch this!"
and kiss owies afterward.
To follow them around.
And around.
To repeat myself.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I find it all very exhausting and challenging.
And I'd love to end this post with some wonderful heartwarming sentiment about how I wouldn't trade it for the world and it's so rewarding and on and on.
But I'm not going to.
It's hard work. This being a woman. Being a wife. Being a mom.
I'm scared everyday that I'm failing the people in my life. Especially my little people.
I need to find a way to do better.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pictures of sleeping arrangements
These pictures still don't capture it but better than nothing I suppose.
So up above there's room for the girls to sleep head to toe. Where Josh is at is where we sleep. I sleep up against the wall because the fridge is to the left (not pictured) and Josh would be too scrunched.
Yesterday was a long day of driving but when Josh was loading hay we found a way to stay occupied.
Sugar got a very good idea and pulled the mattress out to make a slide. They played on that thing for close to 45 minutes.
We're now headed toward home with a load of hay. It's delivery location is about an hour from where we live. I don't know if we'll go home tonight or not.
We got showers last night. Ahhhh. I forgot to pack shampoo and conditioner so we had to buy some at the truck stop. My word!! I paid nearly 5 bucks for stuff I could've gotten for 1.94 at Wal-Mart. All four of us fit and Spice only screamed for a little while.
Speaking of Spice, we lost her pacifer for most of yesterday and it wasn't a big deal til bedtime. How in the world can you lose a pacifier in a truck?! Geesh. After nearly an hour of her crying we finally found it. Praise be to God!
The weather has been icy in places but so far so good. Yesterday we were so far east in Idaho I could see Wyoming! We were in a town called Tetonia. Look it up, geography lesson for the day. :)
Okay, enough of our boring life for the day!
-- Post From My iPhone
So up above there's room for the girls to sleep head to toe. Where Josh is at is where we sleep. I sleep up against the wall because the fridge is to the left (not pictured) and Josh would be too scrunched.
Yesterday was a long day of driving but when Josh was loading hay we found a way to stay occupied.
Sugar got a very good idea and pulled the mattress out to make a slide. They played on that thing for close to 45 minutes.
We're now headed toward home with a load of hay. It's delivery location is about an hour from where we live. I don't know if we'll go home tonight or not.
We got showers last night. Ahhhh. I forgot to pack shampoo and conditioner so we had to buy some at the truck stop. My word!! I paid nearly 5 bucks for stuff I could've gotten for 1.94 at Wal-Mart. All four of us fit and Spice only screamed for a little while.
Speaking of Spice, we lost her pacifer for most of yesterday and it wasn't a big deal til bedtime. How in the world can you lose a pacifier in a truck?! Geesh. After nearly an hour of her crying we finally found it. Praise be to God!
The weather has been icy in places but so far so good. Yesterday we were so far east in Idaho I could see Wyoming! We were in a town called Tetonia. Look it up, geography lesson for the day. :)
Okay, enough of our boring life for the day!
-- Post From My iPhone
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sleeping in the truck
When we started this whole truckin' thing nearly 10 months ago {where has time gone?!} the biggest issue we faced was where we'd sleep. Granted the sleeper has what look like bunk beds but it's a little tricky.
The bed up top is very narrow, nearly half a twin sized bed I'd guess. This seems like a great place for the girls but when the truck is moving I'm nervous we'd have to come to a sudden stop and they'd go flying off the bed.
Putting the girls in the same bed wasn't working because they kept each other awake, so one kid would sleep with me and the other with Josh. It worked for the girls but not so much for us.
The upper bunk folds up part way and looks like a little cubby. Josh decided we'd take one mattress out of the top bunk-making the cubby deeper-and put the girls up there to sleep. Theeeen, he'd take the extra crib mattress we own from our house put it on the bottom bunk with the extra upper bunk's mattress and we'd have ourselves a bed down below.
{the bottom bunk had no mattress because Josh took it out so the girls' carseats fit securely. we move their carseats at night to the closet.}
Sunday night was our first night trying out the new sleep situation. It works beautifully! Everyone is cozy and comfortable and I don't have to feel like I'm going to shove my skinny husband off the bed with my not so skinny self.
We like it. Lots.
And I'm thankful for Josh's creativity to find a solution for our wacky sleeping issues.
-- Post From My iPhone
The bed up top is very narrow, nearly half a twin sized bed I'd guess. This seems like a great place for the girls but when the truck is moving I'm nervous we'd have to come to a sudden stop and they'd go flying off the bed.
Putting the girls in the same bed wasn't working because they kept each other awake, so one kid would sleep with me and the other with Josh. It worked for the girls but not so much for us.
The upper bunk folds up part way and looks like a little cubby. Josh decided we'd take one mattress out of the top bunk-making the cubby deeper-and put the girls up there to sleep. Theeeen, he'd take the extra crib mattress we own from our house put it on the bottom bunk with the extra upper bunk's mattress and we'd have ourselves a bed down below.
{the bottom bunk had no mattress because Josh took it out so the girls' carseats fit securely. we move their carseats at night to the closet.}
Sunday night was our first night trying out the new sleep situation. It works beautifully! Everyone is cozy and comfortable and I don't have to feel like I'm going to shove my skinny husband off the bed with my not so skinny self.
We like it. Lots.
And I'm thankful for Josh's creativity to find a solution for our wacky sleeping issues.
-- Post From My iPhone
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Truck Time
The four of us are in the Peterbilt. It's 9:30 pm on Sunday night. It's cold and rainy outside. Trying to snow even. The girls are in their carseats, Josh is driving (obviously) and I'm trying to be positive about the week ahead.
The week ahead consists of a stop in Northern Idaho to unload styrofoam insulation (spendy stuff!) minimal showering opportunities, truck stop stories, new (and hopefully improved) sleeping arrangements, a crockpot and a chicken.
And hopefully NO plastic bags.
Dear Lord, pleeeaase no plastic bags.
-- Post From My iPhone
The week ahead consists of a stop in Northern Idaho to unload styrofoam insulation (spendy stuff!) minimal showering opportunities, truck stop stories, new (and hopefully improved) sleeping arrangements, a crockpot and a chicken.
And hopefully NO plastic bags.
Dear Lord, pleeeaase no plastic bags.
-- Post From My iPhone
Friday, January 22, 2010
The randomness just won't quit
How about some more randomness since I just don't have anything exciting to write about? (do I ever?)
I have four loads of laundry sitting on my bed. I slept with them last night. They aren't folded. They are sitting there, clumped up, getting all wrinkly. (is that a word?)
Josh is on his way home from Utah right now. He's taking a "short cut" to get home by going through Nevada. I say "short cut" because whenever my husband takes a short cut he lengthens his drive by at least one hour. On one family vacation it resulted in an extra TWELVE hours. Yes, twelve. We still laugh and talk about it. Today even. I reminded him what his short cuts do but he thinks this one will be different.
Thinking of calling him and placing a bet.
The neighbor's llama hasn't been getting out lately. The other neighbors must have complained. I would have liked to because the dumb thing ate my plants in my front yard. He was good for too many laughs though to tattle on him.
On Sunday as we were pulling into our driveway we were greeted with a cow hoof. Oh? You don't believe me?
Yes, that's right. It was at our house. Who knows where it came from but I love that it ended up in front of our house.
We had friends over for dinner on Sunday night and they were telling us a hilarious story that makes the scene from Napoleon Dynamite not seem as bad.
Carlos (friend that came over) was saying how he and his BIL were out having a cow butchered in the front pasture. The rendering truck came and the cow is hanging there, everything spilled wide open when they hear a school bus approaching.
Sure enough the bus has to stop at the railroad tracks right beside the pasture.
Yes, the poor children were scarred that day. Am I awful to say I was laughing so hard at this? Had my daughter been on that bus she would have had quite the story when she came home from school that day!
Today I put pig tails in Spice's hair for the first time. They've been in for nearly four hours and she hasn't taken them out!
Because I feel I've had poor blogging material for you lately I've decided to go in the truck with my husband and children next week. If you'd like to send me a straight jacket, feel free.
I asked my mom if I'm the same on my blog as I am in person. She says yes. What say you?
I should be making food for next week but I'm blogging instead. You see the things I do for you? ;)
I thought I was going to be able to file my taxes today then realized I have one more statement coming. Boo. Looking forward to our refund!!
Neighbor's chickens are outside. Actually, they are roosters.
The laundry is still on the bed.
I'm thinking of getting rid of my iPhone.
I'm thinking of writing.
I want to go to a blog conference sometime.
I want to go to Tennessee. Soon.
Josh and I have heard people rave on and on about Nacho Libre. We watched it. End of story. But that's how I felt about the first time I watched Napoleon Dynamite, too. The second time I laughed so hard I cried. Maybe I need to watch Nacho again, huh?
I'm hungry.
I've been consuming corn tortillas like they're going outta style lately. I eat them at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Last Friday evening we went to the grocery store for a couple of things and this couple kept staring at us. They were friendly enough so it didn't bug me but I noticed they just wouldn't quit. Finally, when we were in line to pay she came up to me. I thought maybe she wanted pointers on how to get the awesome look of the ponytail I was sporting or ask where I got my cool sweats from or how I get Spice to behave so horribly in the cart. But no. She wanted to know what bottle of wine we had in our cart.
Then she asked if I'd walk her to it. Then she told me her name and shook my hand. Her name was Mary.
And she was nice.
And I think it'd be nice to have another bottle of that wine.
I have four loads of laundry sitting on my bed. I slept with them last night. They aren't folded. They are sitting there, clumped up, getting all wrinkly. (is that a word?)
Josh is on his way home from Utah right now. He's taking a "short cut" to get home by going through Nevada. I say "short cut" because whenever my husband takes a short cut he lengthens his drive by at least one hour. On one family vacation it resulted in an extra TWELVE hours. Yes, twelve. We still laugh and talk about it. Today even. I reminded him what his short cuts do but he thinks this one will be different.
Thinking of calling him and placing a bet.
The neighbor's llama hasn't been getting out lately. The other neighbors must have complained. I would have liked to because the dumb thing ate my plants in my front yard. He was good for too many laughs though to tattle on him.
On Sunday as we were pulling into our driveway we were greeted with a cow hoof. Oh? You don't believe me?
Yes, that's right. It was at our house. Who knows where it came from but I love that it ended up in front of our house.
We had friends over for dinner on Sunday night and they were telling us a hilarious story that makes the scene from Napoleon Dynamite not seem as bad.
Carlos (friend that came over) was saying how he and his BIL were out having a cow butchered in the front pasture. The rendering truck came and the cow is hanging there, everything spilled wide open when they hear a school bus approaching.
Sure enough the bus has to stop at the railroad tracks right beside the pasture.
Yes, the poor children were scarred that day. Am I awful to say I was laughing so hard at this? Had my daughter been on that bus she would have had quite the story when she came home from school that day!
Today I put pig tails in Spice's hair for the first time. They've been in for nearly four hours and she hasn't taken them out!
Because I feel I've had poor blogging material for you lately I've decided to go in the truck with my husband and children next week. If you'd like to send me a straight jacket, feel free.
I asked my mom if I'm the same on my blog as I am in person. She says yes. What say you?
I should be making food for next week but I'm blogging instead. You see the things I do for you? ;)
I thought I was going to be able to file my taxes today then realized I have one more statement coming. Boo. Looking forward to our refund!!
Neighbor's chickens are outside. Actually, they are roosters.
The laundry is still on the bed.
I'm thinking of getting rid of my iPhone.
I'm thinking of writing.
I want to go to a blog conference sometime.
I want to go to Tennessee. Soon.
Josh and I have heard people rave on and on about Nacho Libre. We watched it. End of story. But that's how I felt about the first time I watched Napoleon Dynamite, too. The second time I laughed so hard I cried. Maybe I need to watch Nacho again, huh?
I'm hungry.
I've been consuming corn tortillas like they're going outta style lately. I eat them at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Last Friday evening we went to the grocery store for a couple of things and this couple kept staring at us. They were friendly enough so it didn't bug me but I noticed they just wouldn't quit. Finally, when we were in line to pay she came up to me. I thought maybe she wanted pointers on how to get the awesome look of the ponytail I was sporting or ask where I got my cool sweats from or how I get Spice to behave so horribly in the cart. But no. She wanted to know what bottle of wine we had in our cart.
Then she asked if I'd walk her to it. Then she told me her name and shook my hand. Her name was Mary.
And she was nice.
And I think it'd be nice to have another bottle of that wine.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Bullet-Point(less) Post
- It's 72 degrees in my house, yet I'm freezing.
- Josh and I were in Costco on Sunday and past the section with the fancy shmancy razors. He asked if I wanted one and I informed him I don't shave often enough to feel right about spending $30 on a razor. "I know. Maybe then you would."
- I bought a pair of jeans at TJ Maxx the other night and decided that a bottle of anti-depressants should have been free with purchase.
- I've been encouraged about my husband's job lately. I had a rough couple of weeks where I just wasn't dealing well with him being gone. I don't know what happened but I'm doing better.
- The living room and girls' room has been rearranged today. If you know me at all you aren't the least bit surprised by this.
- Sugar saw a picture of my dad the other day and asked who he was. Broke my heart into a million pieces.
- I feel the Lord is telling me to do something and I'd very much like to ignore it.
- The only sugar I had yesterday was in the two Tbsp. of creamer I put in my coffee. I don't think it's any coincidence that I felt amazing all day and woke up at 5 am energetic and ready for the day. Maybe I should keep that up, huh?
- I'm going to a baby shower on Saturday. I love babies. And I love the girl who's having a baby.
- My mom is moving nearer to us and I'm quite excited! It'll be nice to have her over for dinner more and to hang out and have someone be close to watch my girls if I need.
- Whether it's been 3 am or 5 am I've been getting up with my husband to make his breakfast, lunch and sometimes his dinners. When that alarm goes off I want to smash it but I've been reminding myself to love Josh more than I love me. Why is it so hard?
- For four and a half years we've been driving 90 miles round trip on Sundays for church. I really wish there were a Calvary Chapel in our town.
- I have a hot date with my SIL Treena on Feb. 5th. I'm stoked.
- I exercised the other day. Well, I exercised self-control the other day. I drove past Starbucks, waved, blew her a kiss and didn't stop. (you didn't really think I'd exercise, did you?)
- Our kitchen remodel is going to be fabulous. We keep coming up with more and more ideas that we love. Should be complete just in time for Jesus' return.
- After I get Josh's paycheck tomorrow and pay bills and fill my van with gas, we'll have $29 until next payday. Woooo-eeeee!
- I'm planning my birthday. It's 4.5 months away and I already have the day planned out. We (me, myself and I) are going to have a fabulous time!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Typical Saturday in Our Life
We moved into this house on November 18, 1999.
I was 19.
Josh was 21.
And we didn't know the first clue about owning a home. But here we were. A house that no one liked but us. We could see the potential. My husband has always been quite the dreamer. Within a few months we started in on the first of 10 years worth of projects.
We've seen the eye rolls, heard the "pfffts" and watched the blank stares. That's okay. That's why we live here and they don't.
Fixing up a house when you've no clue what you're doing is trial and error. We've had lotsa trials and quite a few errors but nothing that wasn't eventually able to be fixed.
One issue we have with projects on our house is that we start them, work for a bit, get the project mostly done and then we see a butterfly and get distracted.
Here's a list of things that I can remember we've done to the house:
Gutted the kitchen. Boarded up corner windows, took down all paneling and drywall, removed homemade cabinets, re-sheetrocked and put in a new window and all new cabinets and new flooring.
Gutted the living room. There were corner windows in the living room also. We boarded those up. Put in new windows, a new slider, took down all the paneling and drywall, took out the red/orange carpet and replaced that. New sheetrock (paid someone to texture it since we were under a time crunch and Josh was working two jobs so he didn't have time before the carpet was to come.)
Gutted the bathroom. Kept the old tub and toilet. New bathtubs are shallow and short (like me!!) and just aren't as good a quality unless you can spend billions. We can't. We did get a new vanity, flooring and a window.
Gutted one bedroom, put in a new closet and ended up carpeting it right before Spice was born. It had yucky hardwood flooring that we were never able to sand down. :( So we covered it instead. Also installed a new window.
Since I'm a horrible do-er of laundry and our laundry area was in our unfinished basement, Josh plumbed in our washer and dryer into our room. Our room is the only room on the main level that does not have new sheetrock but it does have new flooring.
While we did remodel our kitchen there wasn't anything (at the time) that we could do with the size of it. It's a decent sized kitchen until you put a dining table in it. Then it's kinda squishy (also like me!!)
A few months ago Josh mentioned he'd like to knock the walls out and open up the room. To do this would mean moving our two stair wells. The one going up and the one going down. Huge undertaking. HUGE! I let him talk, let him dream. And tried not to get excited because it sounded so good. But seemed so far off. I told him that all I cared to do next was our entryway.
When you first walk into our house you can head to the dreaded unfinished basement or head left into the kitchen. To the right is the pantry. The entry is small and was kinda botched together when they built the house. None of the sheetrock lined up, they'd painted it a light pink and then a green right before we moved in. I've since painted it white just because the green made me want to vomit.
A few years ago we had a friend (in truth, a drifter Josh picked up) come over that needed a place to stay for a few days. He wanted to do some work around our house as payment (yes, we charge for visitors) (ppffft, kidding) so Josh had him install a new front door. In the process Nolan needed to bust up some of the sheetrock in the entryway. It's been ugly and busted up like that for three years.
The entryway is the ugliest part of our house. Of course that's my opinion, those who've been to our house might say otherwise. Anyway. Saturday I decided to take out all the sheetrock and start over.
Yes, random fact about me, I can install sheetrock, mud and tape and texture with the best of 'em. Ask my husband.
So, off I went with a nail puller in hand and a Shop-Vac nearby.
Sorry, these pictures are taken with my phone and some turned out a little dark. This is my front door, complete with Christmas wreath, and our naked carport and dangling paddle/peddle boat.
This is the pantry. Josh put shelves in it for me and a rack for the mop and broom. This pantry cuts into our bedroom and Josh thinks it was probably an after thought in building the house. After we're finished with our huge project this will be a doorway. You'll walk in and to the left will be the stairs to head down or straight across you'll walk into the laundry/guest room. That way guests can work off their stay by folding our clothes. Please visit anytime.
This is the part I hate. The random pieces of stuff they've slapped together. It's very odd. Please don't look too closely at what is in the basement. You'll see the top of my sister's fridge but actually you won't since I have a ton of junk on top of it. Oops.
This is after I've torn out some sheetrock.
My husband couldn't leave well enough alone and decided it was just time to start that kitchen renovation.
This is the back of the staircase that faces the living room and heads upstairs. It had been covered with a thin piece of paneling so this was our first time seeing what was underneath. In this picture you can also see our basement and all my sister's goods. ☺ You can also get a peek at Josh who is pulling the stairs off!
When you walk into our house now this is the first thing you'd see. Normally it's a paneled wall, now you can see straight into our living room!
In this picture on the right the stairs are completely gone. To the left is the kitchen wall that will be coming out, opening that entire area. The walkway you can now see into the living room will just be open area. The kitchen/dining/living room will all flow together. We'll move the staircase going upstairs into the hallway, blocking the entrance to our room/laundry room. That's why the pantry will be turned into a doorway to that room.
It's a crazy move on our part. Most people think it's a dumb idea. My mom and sister came over today and let me talk out our plan. They love the idea and I thought it was funny that they weren't shocked. "It's what you guys do." "It always works out." And it does. It takes a long time and Josh and I bicker over it but we have fun working together and I'm so stoked about this project.
I'll update as we do stuff. I'm sure it's going to be a wild ride!
I was 19.
Josh was 21.
And we didn't know the first clue about owning a home. But here we were. A house that no one liked but us. We could see the potential. My husband has always been quite the dreamer. Within a few months we started in on the first of 10 years worth of projects.
We've seen the eye rolls, heard the "pfffts" and watched the blank stares. That's okay. That's why we live here and they don't.
Fixing up a house when you've no clue what you're doing is trial and error. We've had lotsa trials and quite a few errors but nothing that wasn't eventually able to be fixed.
One issue we have with projects on our house is that we start them, work for a bit, get the project mostly done and then we see a butterfly and get distracted.
Here's a list of things that I can remember we've done to the house:
While we did remodel our kitchen there wasn't anything (at the time) that we could do with the size of it. It's a decent sized kitchen until you put a dining table in it. Then it's kinda squishy (also like me!!)
A few months ago Josh mentioned he'd like to knock the walls out and open up the room. To do this would mean moving our two stair wells. The one going up and the one going down. Huge undertaking. HUGE! I let him talk, let him dream. And tried not to get excited because it sounded so good. But seemed so far off. I told him that all I cared to do next was our entryway.
When you first walk into our house you can head to the dreaded unfinished basement or head left into the kitchen. To the right is the pantry. The entry is small and was kinda botched together when they built the house. None of the sheetrock lined up, they'd painted it a light pink and then a green right before we moved in. I've since painted it white just because the green made me want to vomit.
A few years ago we had a friend (in truth, a drifter Josh picked up) come over that needed a place to stay for a few days. He wanted to do some work around our house as payment (yes, we charge for visitors) (ppffft, kidding) so Josh had him install a new front door. In the process Nolan needed to bust up some of the sheetrock in the entryway. It's been ugly and busted up like that for three years.
The entryway is the ugliest part of our house. Of course that's my opinion, those who've been to our house might say otherwise. Anyway. Saturday I decided to take out all the sheetrock and start over.
Yes, random fact about me, I can install sheetrock, mud and tape and texture with the best of 'em. Ask my husband.
So, off I went with a nail puller in hand and a Shop-Vac nearby.
Sorry, these pictures are taken with my phone and some turned out a little dark. This is my front door, complete with Christmas wreath, and our naked carport and dangling paddle/peddle boat.
This is the pantry. Josh put shelves in it for me and a rack for the mop and broom. This pantry cuts into our bedroom and Josh thinks it was probably an after thought in building the house. After we're finished with our huge project this will be a doorway. You'll walk in and to the left will be the stairs to head down or straight across you'll walk into the laundry/guest room. That way guests can work off their stay by folding our clothes. Please visit anytime.
This is the part I hate. The random pieces of stuff they've slapped together. It's very odd. Please don't look too closely at what is in the basement. You'll see the top of my sister's fridge but actually you won't since I have a ton of junk on top of it. Oops.
This is after I've torn out some sheetrock.My husband couldn't leave well enough alone and decided it was just time to start that kitchen renovation.
This is the back of the staircase that faces the living room and heads upstairs. It had been covered with a thin piece of paneling so this was our first time seeing what was underneath. In this picture you can also see our basement and all my sister's goods. ☺ You can also get a peek at Josh who is pulling the stairs off!
When you walk into our house now this is the first thing you'd see. Normally it's a paneled wall, now you can see straight into our living room!
In this picture on the right the stairs are completely gone. To the left is the kitchen wall that will be coming out, opening that entire area. The walkway you can now see into the living room will just be open area. The kitchen/dining/living room will all flow together. We'll move the staircase going upstairs into the hallway, blocking the entrance to our room/laundry room. That's why the pantry will be turned into a doorway to that room.It's a crazy move on our part. Most people think it's a dumb idea. My mom and sister came over today and let me talk out our plan. They love the idea and I thought it was funny that they weren't shocked. "It's what you guys do." "It always works out." And it does. It takes a long time and Josh and I bicker over it but we have fun working together and I'm so stoked about this project.
I'll update as we do stuff. I'm sure it's going to be a wild ride!
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Day I Scarred my Children for Life
At age 29 I figured I knew pretty much everything about myself that there is to know. I mean, I have spent these last 29 years with myself. Surely I know me by now.
Right?
Wrong.
Growing up my mother instilled a certain irrational fear, if you will, into my sisters and me. Excuse me if you've heard this part of my story before but I must tell it. I remember being nearly eight years old and hearing my mother scream, watched her run past me and proceed to throw herself on the couch and aim a squirt bottle at the wall behind me.
Because of a spider.
Now that I have children of my own I've tried very, very hard to be calm when I see a spider. It's taken a great amount of self-control that I don't possess in many other areas of my life but when I see an eight-legged, creepy crawly thing I try to hold it together. I don't want my daughters to freak out over spiders the way I have my entire life (thanks, Mom.) I want them to be calm about uncomfortable situations and deal with them in the way they need to be dealt with. (like a cast iron pan to the cephalothorax)
My friends, there are times and places to be in control of one's self. Last night, in my home, was not one of those times or places.
I had gone downstairs to our unfinished basement to put away one last Christmas decoration. On my way back up the stairs I grabbed Shadow's (our golden retriever) dog food bin. A big garbage can. I was too lazy to go upstairs, grab his dish and come back down to fill it. Figured I'd just take the whole thing up with me. I proceeded to stick my hand down into the bin, reached for the plastic cup and scoop up some dog food. Instead I scooped up
Right?
Wrong.
Growing up my mother instilled a certain irrational fear, if you will, into my sisters and me. Excuse me if you've heard this part of my story before but I must tell it. I remember being nearly eight years old and hearing my mother scream, watched her run past me and proceed to throw herself on the couch and aim a squirt bottle at the wall behind me.
Because of a spider.
Now that I have children of my own I've tried very, very hard to be calm when I see a spider. It's taken a great amount of self-control that I don't possess in many other areas of my life but when I see an eight-legged, creepy crawly thing I try to hold it together. I don't want my daughters to freak out over spiders the way I have my entire life (thanks, Mom.) I want them to be calm about uncomfortable situations and deal with them in the way they need to be dealt with. (like a cast iron pan to the cephalothorax)
My friends, there are times and places to be in control of one's self. Last night, in my home, was not one of those times or places.
I had gone downstairs to our unfinished basement to put away one last Christmas decoration. On my way back up the stairs I grabbed Shadow's (our golden retriever) dog food bin. A big garbage can. I was too lazy to go upstairs, grab his dish and come back down to fill it. Figured I'd just take the whole thing up with me. I proceeded to stick my hand down into the bin, reached for the plastic cup and scoop up some dog food. Instead I scooped up
a MOUSE!!!!
Mind you, this photo was taken by my husband 2.5 hours later.
I screamed when I realized I had just scooped up the mouse and not dog food. I screamed while I was talking to Josh on the phone. Especially after he told me to just scoop 'im up and put him outside. Uh, hello. NO.
And I may have screamed a little (1 hour) later when I decided to drag the garbage bin full of dog food outside to the porch.
And maybe once more when I thought he'd jumped out of the garbage bin. (sorry, Amy Beth, my text telling you he'd jumped out was wrong. Indeed the little bugger had just burrowed into the cup and I couldn't see him anymore.)
Mind you, my children are at the dinner table witnessing these horrific events.
Sugar says to me, "Mom, is it a big mouse or a little mouse?"
It's HUGE, I want to tell her.
"It's just a little mouse." I had to tell her the truth.
"Well, it's just a mouse. You'll be okay." Says the girl who has seen Ratatouille onetouille many times, obviously.
Josh came home and quickly proceeded to stick his hand down into the dog food, picked up the cup and started talking to the mouse. He asked me if we were going to keep it.
Are you FREAKING kidding me?
"Him or me, Bud, him or me." I'm sad to say my husband had to contemplate that one.
"Well, come outside, we need to say goodbye to him."
Uh, what???
Sure enough, the guy wants to set the vermin free. He nearly let him loose in our wood pile! When I screamed (yes, again) that NO, he would not be doing that, he then went out into our front yard and let him loose there.
"Bye, little buddy."
Seriously, see what I have to live with?
Josh tells me he learned something new about me. After 13 years together it's still possible to not know everything about each other, I guess.
"I didn't know you were afraid of mice."
"I didn't either! But the screaming sure proves I must be."
I'm not proud to admit I'm a sissy la-la. But I totally am.
And 25 years from now, Sugar is going to blog about the day she was sitting down at the dinner table and her mother ran past her, screaming and holding a cell phone while a cute, little mouse nibbled on some dog food.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Could be me
Josh used to work a half mile down the road from our house. He'd leave our house about 6:55 am and return home around 5:08 pm.
Each morning he'd get up, make his own breakfast, sit in silence drinking his coffee then make his lunch and head off to work. There were days I'd get up in time to see him off to work but, sadly, they were few and far between.
Now he leaves on Sunday or Monday and occasionally gets home during the week but for the most part I don't see him until Friday evening. It's tough. It really is. During these winter months with the freeways and highways being covered in snow, ice and freezing rain, I think it's best us girls hold down the fort here at home.
There are days I'd give anything for him to work a half mile from home again. I tell myself I'd get up at 6 and make his breakfast. I'd make his lunch, too. Then I'd kiss him, hug him and tell him to have a wonderful day.
I've thought about this quite a bit lately. Even more so since last Thursday.
Josh called me while I was with my mom last week and told me a very sad story. A story that breaks my heart and makes me realize I need to let my man know each and every day how much he means to me because life is so short.
There's a guy who works at a dairy where Josh delivers hay on occasion. Nice guy. Age 30. He married his high school sweetheart and they had three kiddos, twins and a singleton. Most mornings he gets up on his own, makes his own breakfast and lunch and heads off to work while his wife lay sleeping. Last Wednesday, however, his wife got up and made his breakfast and they spent a little time together. Before he left for work he touched her face, kissed her and said goodbye.
That was the last time Nick would do that. He died a few hours later at the dairy. I think it's wonderful that she got up that day. I know the Lord nudged her sleepy head out of bed that morning. What a precious last morning they had together. I'm sure she'll always be thankful for those few moments they had together that day.
Please pray for Nick's wife and their three daughters.
Then let those you love know you love them.
One thing I'm certain of, if Josh were to work close to home again, I'd be making more of an effort to be up with him during those wee hours of the morning.
Each morning he'd get up, make his own breakfast, sit in silence drinking his coffee then make his lunch and head off to work. There were days I'd get up in time to see him off to work but, sadly, they were few and far between.
Now he leaves on Sunday or Monday and occasionally gets home during the week but for the most part I don't see him until Friday evening. It's tough. It really is. During these winter months with the freeways and highways being covered in snow, ice and freezing rain, I think it's best us girls hold down the fort here at home.
There are days I'd give anything for him to work a half mile from home again. I tell myself I'd get up at 6 and make his breakfast. I'd make his lunch, too. Then I'd kiss him, hug him and tell him to have a wonderful day.
I've thought about this quite a bit lately. Even more so since last Thursday.
Josh called me while I was with my mom last week and told me a very sad story. A story that breaks my heart and makes me realize I need to let my man know each and every day how much he means to me because life is so short.
There's a guy who works at a dairy where Josh delivers hay on occasion. Nice guy. Age 30. He married his high school sweetheart and they had three kiddos, twins and a singleton. Most mornings he gets up on his own, makes his own breakfast and lunch and heads off to work while his wife lay sleeping. Last Wednesday, however, his wife got up and made his breakfast and they spent a little time together. Before he left for work he touched her face, kissed her and said goodbye.
That was the last time Nick would do that. He died a few hours later at the dairy. I think it's wonderful that she got up that day. I know the Lord nudged her sleepy head out of bed that morning. What a precious last morning they had together. I'm sure she'll always be thankful for those few moments they had together that day.
Please pray for Nick's wife and their three daughters.
Then let those you love know you love them.
One thing I'm certain of, if Josh were to work close to home again, I'd be making more of an effort to be up with him during those wee hours of the morning.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
It's been a no good very bad day so here's a list to make me feel better
I've had one of the worst days in history.
It's been bad.
Real bad.
I've journaled it. Breathed in. Breathed out. Cried a snotty cry and tried to nap.
I started to feel better until I realized Sugar sprayed Spray 'n' Wash in Spice's mouth. I don't know how much but I'm trying not to freak. Then Spice fell of a bench I have in the living room. She's beat up pretty good and smells like Spray 'n' Wash to boot.
I refuse to have another snotty cry so instead I decided to list to you the things that were in my junk drawer this evening. I decided to clean the bad boy out and was quite into it thus the Spray 'n' Wash ordeal.
Ready? Okay. No judging, alright?
It's been bad.
Real bad.
I've journaled it. Breathed in. Breathed out. Cried a snotty cry and tried to nap.
I started to feel better until I realized Sugar sprayed Spray 'n' Wash in Spice's mouth. I don't know how much but I'm trying not to freak. Then Spice fell of a bench I have in the living room. She's beat up pretty good and smells like Spray 'n' Wash to boot.
I refuse to have another snotty cry so instead I decided to list to you the things that were in my junk drawer this evening. I decided to clean the bad boy out and was quite into it thus the Spray 'n' Wash ordeal.
Ready? Okay. No judging, alright?
- Thanksgiving cards
- Inflatable flamingo (don't lie, you have one, too.)
- Invitations
- Thank You cards from Sugar's 3rd birthday (a year and a half ago)
- Spice's immunization card that has zero immunizations in it
- A baby rattle
- Lightbulbs
- Twix-It clips
- Apple slicer
- Both girls' umbilical cords in baggies (I have issues)
- Ice cream scoop
- Fly catcher
- Artificial leaves
- States and Capitals flashcards
- Nails (not the fake finger kind, the kind you pound in a wall)
- Check stubs
- Highlighters
- Ear buds
- Roll of film (used)
- Sugarland CD
- Racal Flatts CD
- Chris Cagle CD (all three ended up in the garbage)
- Sharpies
- Stapler
- Staples
- Whisk
- Birdhouse lightswitch plate cover thingy
- Charger for Josh's blue tooth
- nuts and bolts
- Replacement bulbs for Christmas lights
- A die (like dice but just one)
- Pastry Cutter
- Address book
I emptied everything out. Threw a bunch away then organized the rest and put things where they belong. Gotta admit most stuff belonged in the trash-ola. I know you're all dying for me to send you the inflatable flamingo but it's just not gonna happen. She's already heading far far away.
Now, I must get back to my pity party. What's in your junk drawer?
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