Verbal Combustion

Twice this week I've had this phrase said to me,

"You knew it was going to be crazy."

They were referring to this truck life we're living.

While I knew it was going to be crazy, I guess I just didn't understand what level crazy we were talkin'.

I'm not one of those wives who can keep everything to herself. I can't just let things go and be all happy on the outside when I'm turmoil on the inside. When I am upset that husband of mine knows about it.

I'm awful like that.

Josh has been loaded since 9 am. He's in Seattle. 3 hours from home. He should have been here around noon or noon thirty.

We're pushin' three and he's not here. With no possible timeline in sight. His truck is messed up. The mechanics at this point are basically interested in the fact they can charge over 100 bucks an hour to be looking at it. Praise God we aren't paying that.

But in the long run we do.

We work for a very, very small company. This always has its perks.

And its downfalls.

While I may rant and rave here, I won't go into the downfalls because I just can't. I wouldn't want Josh to be sad that I did that. Not that he reads this but other people do.

I knew life on the road would be crazy but I didn't know that when I was able to be home how crazy it would be here. And mainly the crazy is just the extra people. I'm fortunate right now because it is just the girls and me at home these last two days. But when there are extras, in the words of my mother, "it's chaotic."

So coming home...well, it just doesn't feel like home.

Am I whining and complaining?

You bet.

Does the bible say to whine?

Nope.

In fact it says the opposite. "Do all things without complaining or disputing." Man, I'm gonna need to look that one up, can't remember the verse but I know it's in there because I've had to learn it before! (Phil 2:5?) Um...I can't remember...I'll look it up later.

But sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest and quite honestly I hold back on my blog alot. So many times I just want to lay it all out there. I want to talk about every exciting thing but every hurtful thing, frustrating thing, etc. I hold back partly because I have family that reads this, whether it's mine (which is unlikely but possible) or Josh's. And I want Josh's family to continue to like me and not worry that poor Josh has a complaining wife. =) And partly because I've read/do read blogs like that and they exhaust me...and I find I have to have a break from them for fear of becoming (even more) depressed.

I'm so excited that Josh is loving his job. I'm so happy that his boss loves him and appreciates him. I love that he no longer stresses about work. He doesn't have to worry about how to do his job the corporate way. He can just do his job and that's that.

But quite honestly I'm missing 7-5. I'm missing dinner at 5:15 at a table that's not rolling at 55 mph. I miss just hanging out at our house.

Did I mention I'm not getting that laptop? Yes, the Dell Saga that never ends. In short, no laptop coming. I'm fine with that. I'm done.

Did I mention I'm mad at myself for not listening to wise council about 10 months ago when I purchased a van I didn't need? In short, I need to learn what classifies as a want and what classifies as a need. This requires a post of its own and I'm working on it.

Bills are up and money is down. Much of that is self inflicted...if that makes any sense. I'm seriously considering selling my iPhone. I'm aware of the contract and that I'd have to pay to get out of it. But for what the phones go for, I think I'd actually come out ahead. The phone was a want and not a need. I hadn't even planned to get it! I was going to get the free phone that came with Josh's plan but they flashed that pretty screen at me and well...the rest, as they say, was history.

Much as I've been going through our upstairs to organize and reduce, I think I need to do that with our income/bills situation. Last year I was so fired up about doing the Dave Ramsey thing. But I was all fired up by myself. My husband wasn't on the band wagon with me, so I quit trying. It's not an excuse but I'm going to try and give one anyway. =)

Okay, I'm done with my vent. Sorry.

Carry on...