seriously.
have we actually been considering another baby?
sometimes i think i'm on crack.
last night i woke up with spice at 11:11 (i'd only been in bed about 30 minutes) then again with her at 12:28 and again at 1:17. at 1:17 i cried. i really, truly started to cry. wondering why in the whole wide world i'd consider doing this to myself again.
i laid there trying to talk myself into and out of another baby.
my arguments looked like this:
you won't die from sleep deprivation.
but you'll want to.
maybe the next baby will sleep through the night at 5 weeks like Sugar did.
oooorrr, maybe it'll be like Spice who is now two and STILL doesn't sleep through the night.
it's just a season, you'll make it through.
or not.
i love being pregnant.
really? even that 50+ lbs you gained. really?
my two deliveries went really fast.
third time's a charm.
One day I'll be so glad we decided to go ahead and have more even though it felt crazy in the moment.
til then you'll need a straight jacket in every color.
do you see? see how i go back and forth? and, how sometimes it's so hard to imagine adding another little one to my already crazy self.
sigh.
7 comments:
I have that same argument every time I see a baby or a pregnant woman. I even have a plan of when i want to go off of BC. I'm nuts. Abbi still doesn't sleep either. She makes me a nut case. but they are so fun!!! The more the merrier, right? RIGHT?!?
Oh, Sarah, you singing my song. Oh dang, how can I not sit here and chuckle? It's funny, now that at 20 weeks along, I am still in denial that we're having another. But last night, this sweet baby rolled a knee or elbow into my palm and I screamed. A baby is in there. One I've never met but soon will forget that we ever lived life without this person. I feel bi-polar at times or skitzo from the swinging pendulum of emotions. I so get it.
Oh Sarah! That would be awesome! Then I can bust a gut reading your posts after your trips to the grocery store...shopping while your boobs spill over!! I'll never forget that post!!!
Hey Girlfriend...I've missed you and I hope this long wkend, I can do some catching up if the internet will stay connected,,,
Am I being presumptuous in thinking you gave up the trucking family blog?
Whatever happened to that idea of getting another Beagle pup? Just curious.
Kids are hard work, FOR SURE!!! BUT they are so worth it! Praying for the Lord to lay the answer on you in undeniable ways. =) Every child is a blessing, and brings with him/her their own personality. =) I know I am so happy now that the Lord "forced" me into having my third babe. Don't know where I'd be without him. He is the one who comes up and hugs me on his own free will, tells me he loves me, and wants to be with me all the time. My lil mama's boy! lol
I do know exactly what you are feeling though. After our first born and what we went through, I was very close to saying NO MORE!!! lol But now, he is my best behaved kiddo. Lovin' every moment! =) Whatever you decide, God will bless and make it good. =)
I think every mama has thoughts like these, but I still think it's totally worth it. :O) (Obviously!)
~Laura
Ha ha. That's my sarcastic laughter. See I keep saying "I feel like my family isn't complete..." My husband however says "I'm 42!" like that's what a big deal?!?! Two words Tony Randle...and (he also says) "We can't afford it." Sadly this is true. My boobies can't feed my kids and formula is INSANE. Maybe I should get like cow implants, like UDDERmantation, have they invented that yet? At least I could have an argument for the not affording part...
My second babe was WAY differnt then the first, We still struggle with potty training and he's 5! He is too busy to break for potty! I need break from poop!
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