Tonight Sugar asked me to play with her. Not knowing what to play I turned her down.
My heart hurts about it.
I'm really bad about playing.
Like, reallly bad.
I'm sure I played when I was a kid but mostly I remember having my nose in books. I wasn't one to play outside, climb trees or play in the dirt (unless my cousins were involved with the dirt).
She's happy, she's fed, she's bathed, she's loved. But I know she'd love if I played with her more.
Here's where you come in.
Can you tell me what you do with your kid(s)? Or if you don't have kiddos, what games you would play. Maybe you remember a fun game your parents, grandparents, aunt or uncle used to play with you...any activity, whatever it is.
Will you share that with me? I'm not so creative when it comes to playing. I'd sit and read books to her all day but I think that gets old.
Thanks in advance, you guys are the greatest!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Looking on the Bright Side
My oh my.
It was a good thing I renewed my license when I did. I may have been 22 days late renewing it, but I was just in time!
Just in time for what? You ask...
Just in time to be pulled over!
Blech.
I wasn't wearing my seat belt.
And in these here parts of Washington, that's a $124 fine.
Blech.
I totally knew it was coming. Josh had just dropped me off at the suburban at the truck stop in town. The girls and I had gone on a mini-run with him and we were now on our way home.
I pull up to the stop light, there's a car behind me but in behind me, whips an unmarked car.
My heart started racing. Hands shakin' a bit. I knew it was because I wasn't wearing my seat belt. I've had this happen before.
On three OTHER occasions.
(so I'm not a fan of wearing a seat belt...I almost always end up putting it on sometime while I'm driving, it's just not always my first thought. and...it's never an option for my kids, they ALWAYS have theirs on.) (at least while we're in the car.)
I had just renewed my license. Like hours before. So, my new one hasn't arrived yet. I tell the officer this. He just looks at me.
"You can renew online?"
"Aren't you the cop?" (fear not, I didn't say this.) (but I was totally thinking it)
He takes all my information back to his special little undercover car. I send Josh a text letting him know I'll be a minute, and I also mighta FB'd that I was getting pulled over. Seat belts may not be my priority but FaceBook sure is!
He comes back and tells me it's my lucky day, sure enough you can renew online.
Who knew!? Me!
I was given a ticket.
Blech.
But the nice thing about it? It could have and would have been such a higher ticket had I not renewed my license that day.
So, instead of kickin' myself over the dumb ticket, I'm choosing to be excited that it wasn't $500 but $124.
And I'm totally requesting a court date in hopes that they'll reduce my fine. That's a big deal for me because who knows where the front door to the courthouse is?! =)
It was a good thing I renewed my license when I did. I may have been 22 days late renewing it, but I was just in time!
Just in time for what? You ask...
Just in time to be pulled over!
Blech.
I wasn't wearing my seat belt.
And in these here parts of Washington, that's a $124 fine.
Blech.
I totally knew it was coming. Josh had just dropped me off at the suburban at the truck stop in town. The girls and I had gone on a mini-run with him and we were now on our way home.
I pull up to the stop light, there's a car behind me but in behind me, whips an unmarked car.
My heart started racing. Hands shakin' a bit. I knew it was because I wasn't wearing my seat belt. I've had this happen before.
On three OTHER occasions.
(so I'm not a fan of wearing a seat belt...I almost always end up putting it on sometime while I'm driving, it's just not always my first thought. and...it's never an option for my kids, they ALWAYS have theirs on.) (at least while we're in the car.)
I had just renewed my license. Like hours before. So, my new one hasn't arrived yet. I tell the officer this. He just looks at me.
"You can renew online?"
"Aren't you the cop?" (fear not, I didn't say this.) (but I was totally thinking it)
He takes all my information back to his special little undercover car. I send Josh a text letting him know I'll be a minute, and I also mighta FB'd that I was getting pulled over. Seat belts may not be my priority but FaceBook sure is!
He comes back and tells me it's my lucky day, sure enough you can renew online.
Who knew!? Me!
I was given a ticket.
Blech.
But the nice thing about it? It could have and would have been such a higher ticket had I not renewed my license that day.
So, instead of kickin' myself over the dumb ticket, I'm choosing to be excited that it wasn't $500 but $124.
And I'm totally requesting a court date in hopes that they'll reduce my fine. That's a big deal for me because who knows where the front door to the courthouse is?! =)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Renewing the Driver's License
Eight years ago I lost my driver's license and had to go in for a new one.
Each time I went in there were a bajillion people in line and I just could.not.do.it.
The one time I went in that there wasn't a line, I was 145 lbs, I'd been mowing lawns all day, had my hair in a ponytail with grass clippings in it, and was wearing a ratty tank top with a sports bra showing.
That was one hot driver's license picture I tell you.
Two years later I had to go in for a renewal. The man looked at the screen. And looked at me. Then back at the screen again.
His face was puzzled.
Her turns the screen to me so I can see the picture that I've had on my driver's license those past two years.
"Is this you?"
It was.
However since the picture had been taken I'd lost 35 lbs. and had just gotten my hair done about 15 minutes before I went in.
Needless to say, I loved renewing my license in 2003 and I loved my picture. How often do we get to say we like a driver's license picture?!
Fast forward six years, two babies and 35 lbs.
I was not looking forward to renewing my license this year. I was sad to think of giving up that picture. I even considered going in and saying, oops I lost it.
But I didn't need to.
I was able to renew online and I get to keep the same picture!
So, for the next six years I can tell people I'm 110 lbs and if they don't believe me, I'll just whip out the ol' driver's license that says I am.
Each time I went in there were a bajillion people in line and I just could.not.do.it.
The one time I went in that there wasn't a line, I was 145 lbs, I'd been mowing lawns all day, had my hair in a ponytail with grass clippings in it, and was wearing a ratty tank top with a sports bra showing.
That was one hot driver's license picture I tell you.
Two years later I had to go in for a renewal. The man looked at the screen. And looked at me. Then back at the screen again.
His face was puzzled.
Her turns the screen to me so I can see the picture that I've had on my driver's license those past two years.
"Is this you?"
It was.
However since the picture had been taken I'd lost 35 lbs. and had just gotten my hair done about 15 minutes before I went in.
Needless to say, I loved renewing my license in 2003 and I loved my picture. How often do we get to say we like a driver's license picture?!
Fast forward six years, two babies and 35 lbs.
I was not looking forward to renewing my license this year. I was sad to think of giving up that picture. I even considered going in and saying, oops I lost it.
But I didn't need to.
I was able to renew online and I get to keep the same picture!
So, for the next six years I can tell people I'm 110 lbs and if they don't believe me, I'll just whip out the ol' driver's license that says I am.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Breaking Free of the Trap I Constantly Find Myself in
Relaxed.
Refreshed.
Loved on.
Describes how I am feeling after spending two days in Nampa, Idaho with my aunt, uncle and three cousins.
Why we don't visit more often is beyond me.
Kenny and Eric are wonderful and I'd love, LOVE to live near them one day.
We arrived at their house Monday, a little bit after noon, and lunch was awaiting.
Later, McKenna and I went for coffee and it was so wonderful to sit and chat. I had prayed before we got to their house that I would just be able to glean something from them. They love the Lord and it shows in everything. There's just this amazing peace when we're with them and this time was no different.
I talked with Kenny about money and my worries about my foolishness. She was very encouraging and as I type this I look forward to the changes I will be making in our little lives.
I need to stop feeling this sense of entitlement. Just because I have been in a truck all week having to cook from a microwave does not mean come Friday I deserve a meal at a Mexican restaurant that costs 40 bucks.
Just because I had a piece o' junk car that didn't have cupholders and overheated on me on the freeway with a three yr old and a newborn, did not justify buying a van I couldn't pay cash for.
My foolish way of thinking for the past 11 years of our marriage has set us back tremendously. We started our marriage at 18 and 20 yrs of age, debt free with Josh making a very good income. Then a year later I received a large chunk of change. Had we been wise with what we were blessed with we could have paid cash for a home after a couple of years. Instead, I found myself always wanting something (usually a car) or needing something (usually a car.)
My poor husband.
He's been so amazing to me.
He knew that while I was growing up I didn't have everything I wanted and he's just always wanted me to have it all.
I have abused his generous heart.
And it stops now.
He hates saying no to me. I can probably count one one hand how many times he has. So, the way to keep him from not saying no to me OR saying no to me is to stop asking.
This will save us money.
I am determined to get my coffee habit under control. I am determined to cook all meals no matter how tired I am or sick of cooking I am.
I am determined AND committed to being a better steward of Josh's paychecks.
I want to be a blessing to my husband. I want him to trust me with his earnings.
These last couple of days (and even now) I have found it very hard not to beat myself up for all my financial mistakes. I've found it hard to not feel bad for Josh, thinking he deserves a woman who would be frugal and wise with his money. I've found it hard to stop thinking that everyone will judge decisions I am making.
The Lord answered my quick prayer, I did glean something while there-financial wisdom from my aunt in the brief time we had over coffee.
So, as embarrassing as it is, because of how many times we've done this with other vehicles, I am going to put our van up for sale. It pains me to think of giving her up but I know I wasn't supposed to buy it. There haven't been that many times in my life where I have just really felt the Lord speaking to me, but the week before I bought the van was one of them. The Lord asked me to wait on Him.
I ignored Him. (noticing a trend)
I bought the van.
A few months later Josh's parents give us a car.
Sigh.
If I'd just waited as He'd asked...
I have repented. And I ask for prayer now, that our van would sell, that I would FINALLY learn and that I would be able to help others who may be likely to fall into the entitlement trap as I have.
-- Post From My iPhone
Refreshed.
Loved on.
Describes how I am feeling after spending two days in Nampa, Idaho with my aunt, uncle and three cousins.
Why we don't visit more often is beyond me.
Kenny and Eric are wonderful and I'd love, LOVE to live near them one day.
We arrived at their house Monday, a little bit after noon, and lunch was awaiting.
Later, McKenna and I went for coffee and it was so wonderful to sit and chat. I had prayed before we got to their house that I would just be able to glean something from them. They love the Lord and it shows in everything. There's just this amazing peace when we're with them and this time was no different.
I talked with Kenny about money and my worries about my foolishness. She was very encouraging and as I type this I look forward to the changes I will be making in our little lives.
I need to stop feeling this sense of entitlement. Just because I have been in a truck all week having to cook from a microwave does not mean come Friday I deserve a meal at a Mexican restaurant that costs 40 bucks.
Just because I had a piece o' junk car that didn't have cupholders and overheated on me on the freeway with a three yr old and a newborn, did not justify buying a van I couldn't pay cash for.
My foolish way of thinking for the past 11 years of our marriage has set us back tremendously. We started our marriage at 18 and 20 yrs of age, debt free with Josh making a very good income. Then a year later I received a large chunk of change. Had we been wise with what we were blessed with we could have paid cash for a home after a couple of years. Instead, I found myself always wanting something (usually a car) or needing something (usually a car.)
My poor husband.
He's been so amazing to me.
He knew that while I was growing up I didn't have everything I wanted and he's just always wanted me to have it all.
I have abused his generous heart.
And it stops now.
He hates saying no to me. I can probably count one one hand how many times he has. So, the way to keep him from not saying no to me OR saying no to me is to stop asking.
This will save us money.
I am determined to get my coffee habit under control. I am determined to cook all meals no matter how tired I am or sick of cooking I am.
I am determined AND committed to being a better steward of Josh's paychecks.
I want to be a blessing to my husband. I want him to trust me with his earnings.
These last couple of days (and even now) I have found it very hard not to beat myself up for all my financial mistakes. I've found it hard to not feel bad for Josh, thinking he deserves a woman who would be frugal and wise with his money. I've found it hard to stop thinking that everyone will judge decisions I am making.
The Lord answered my quick prayer, I did glean something while there-financial wisdom from my aunt in the brief time we had over coffee.
So, as embarrassing as it is, because of how many times we've done this with other vehicles, I am going to put our van up for sale. It pains me to think of giving her up but I know I wasn't supposed to buy it. There haven't been that many times in my life where I have just really felt the Lord speaking to me, but the week before I bought the van was one of them. The Lord asked me to wait on Him.
I ignored Him. (noticing a trend)
I bought the van.
A few months later Josh's parents give us a car.
Sigh.
If I'd just waited as He'd asked...
I have repented. And I ask for prayer now, that our van would sell, that I would FINALLY learn and that I would be able to help others who may be likely to fall into the entitlement trap as I have.
-- Post From My iPhone
Friday, June 19, 2009
Verbal Combustion
Twice this week I've had this phrase said to me,
"You knew it was going to be crazy."
They were referring to this truck life we're living.
While I knew it was going to be crazy, I guess I just didn't understand what level crazy we were talkin'.
I'm not one of those wives who can keep everything to herself. I can't just let things go and be all happy on the outside when I'm turmoil on the inside. When I am upset that husband of mine knows about it.
I'm awful like that.
Josh has been loaded since 9 am. He's in Seattle. 3 hours from home. He should have been here around noon or noon thirty.
We're pushin' three and he's not here. With no possible timeline in sight. His truck is messed up. The mechanics at this point are basically interested in the fact they can charge over 100 bucks an hour to be looking at it. Praise God we aren't paying that.
But in the long run we do.
We work for a very, very small company. This always has its perks.
And its downfalls.
While I may rant and rave here, I won't go into the downfalls because I just can't. I wouldn't want Josh to be sad that I did that. Not that he reads this but other people do.
I knew life on the road would be crazy but I didn't know that when I was able to be home how crazy it would be here. And mainly the crazy is just the extra people. I'm fortunate right now because it is just the girls and me at home these last two days. But when there are extras, in the words of my mother, "it's chaotic."
So coming home...well, it just doesn't feel like home.
Am I whining and complaining?
You bet.
Does the bible say to whine?
Nope.
In fact it says the opposite. "Do all things without complaining or disputing." Man, I'm gonna need to look that one up, can't remember the verse but I know it's in there because I've had to learn it before! (Phil 2:5?) Um...I can't remember...I'll look it up later.
But sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest and quite honestly I hold back on my blog alot. So many times I just want to lay it all out there. I want to talk about every exciting thing but every hurtful thing, frustrating thing, etc. I hold back partly because I have family that reads this, whether it's mine (which is unlikely but possible) or Josh's. And I want Josh's family to continue to like me and not worry that poor Josh has a complaining wife. =) And partly because I've read/do read blogs like that and they exhaust me...and I find I have to have a break from them for fear of becoming (even more) depressed.
I'm so excited that Josh is loving his job. I'm so happy that his boss loves him and appreciates him. I love that he no longer stresses about work. He doesn't have to worry about how to do his job the corporate way. He can just do his job and that's that.
But quite honestly I'm missing 7-5. I'm missing dinner at 5:15 at a table that's not rolling at 55 mph. I miss just hanging out at our house.
Did I mention I'm not getting that laptop? Yes, the Dell Saga that never ends. In short, no laptop coming. I'm fine with that. I'm done.
Did I mention I'm mad at myself for not listening to wise council about 10 months ago when I purchased a van I didn't need? In short, I need to learn what classifies as a want and what classifies as a need. This requires a post of its own and I'm working on it.
Bills are up and money is down. Much of that is self inflicted...if that makes any sense. I'm seriously considering selling my iPhone. I'm aware of the contract and that I'd have to pay to get out of it. But for what the phones go for, I think I'd actually come out ahead. The phone was a want and not a need. I hadn't even planned to get it! I was going to get the free phone that came with Josh's plan but they flashed that pretty screen at me and well...the rest, as they say, was history.
Much as I've been going through our upstairs to organize and reduce, I think I need to do that with our income/bills situation. Last year I was so fired up about doing the Dave Ramsey thing. But I was all fired up by myself. My husband wasn't on the band wagon with me, so I quit trying. It's not an excuse but I'm going to try and give one anyway. =)
Okay, I'm done with my vent. Sorry.
Carry on...
"You knew it was going to be crazy."
They were referring to this truck life we're living.
While I knew it was going to be crazy, I guess I just didn't understand what level crazy we were talkin'.
I'm not one of those wives who can keep everything to herself. I can't just let things go and be all happy on the outside when I'm turmoil on the inside. When I am upset that husband of mine knows about it.
I'm awful like that.
Josh has been loaded since 9 am. He's in Seattle. 3 hours from home. He should have been here around noon or noon thirty.
We're pushin' three and he's not here. With no possible timeline in sight. His truck is messed up. The mechanics at this point are basically interested in the fact they can charge over 100 bucks an hour to be looking at it. Praise God we aren't paying that.
But in the long run we do.
We work for a very, very small company. This always has its perks.
And its downfalls.
While I may rant and rave here, I won't go into the downfalls because I just can't. I wouldn't want Josh to be sad that I did that. Not that he reads this but other people do.
I knew life on the road would be crazy but I didn't know that when I was able to be home how crazy it would be here. And mainly the crazy is just the extra people. I'm fortunate right now because it is just the girls and me at home these last two days. But when there are extras, in the words of my mother, "it's chaotic."
So coming home...well, it just doesn't feel like home.
Am I whining and complaining?
You bet.
Does the bible say to whine?
Nope.
In fact it says the opposite. "Do all things without complaining or disputing." Man, I'm gonna need to look that one up, can't remember the verse but I know it's in there because I've had to learn it before! (Phil 2:5?) Um...I can't remember...I'll look it up later.
But sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest and quite honestly I hold back on my blog alot. So many times I just want to lay it all out there. I want to talk about every exciting thing but every hurtful thing, frustrating thing, etc. I hold back partly because I have family that reads this, whether it's mine (which is unlikely but possible) or Josh's. And I want Josh's family to continue to like me and not worry that poor Josh has a complaining wife. =) And partly because I've read/do read blogs like that and they exhaust me...and I find I have to have a break from them for fear of becoming (even more) depressed.
I'm so excited that Josh is loving his job. I'm so happy that his boss loves him and appreciates him. I love that he no longer stresses about work. He doesn't have to worry about how to do his job the corporate way. He can just do his job and that's that.
But quite honestly I'm missing 7-5. I'm missing dinner at 5:15 at a table that's not rolling at 55 mph. I miss just hanging out at our house.
Did I mention I'm not getting that laptop? Yes, the Dell Saga that never ends. In short, no laptop coming. I'm fine with that. I'm done.
Did I mention I'm mad at myself for not listening to wise council about 10 months ago when I purchased a van I didn't need? In short, I need to learn what classifies as a want and what classifies as a need. This requires a post of its own and I'm working on it.
Bills are up and money is down. Much of that is self inflicted...if that makes any sense. I'm seriously considering selling my iPhone. I'm aware of the contract and that I'd have to pay to get out of it. But for what the phones go for, I think I'd actually come out ahead. The phone was a want and not a need. I hadn't even planned to get it! I was going to get the free phone that came with Josh's plan but they flashed that pretty screen at me and well...the rest, as they say, was history.
Much as I've been going through our upstairs to organize and reduce, I think I need to do that with our income/bills situation. Last year I was so fired up about doing the Dave Ramsey thing. But I was all fired up by myself. My husband wasn't on the band wagon with me, so I quit trying. It's not an excuse but I'm going to try and give one anyway. =)
Okay, I'm done with my vent. Sorry.
Carry on...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
My Brother-in-Law
I've had a few people email and ask how Derek is doing.
You can read about what's going on over at my sister's blog.
Good stuff happening!
You can read about what's going on over at my sister's blog.
Good stuff happening!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A Lesson in Submitting to Your Husband
Well.
My mom called and said Dell called. Or the person that had promised me a new laptop called.
He apologized up and down that I thought I wasn't getting a new laptop as promised. It was not in the system yet by the time I had talked to the girl that informed me that, indeed there wasn't one coming.
He said he was still processing my old one and taking other calls and that's why she didn't see the dispatch of our conversation.
A brand new Tangerine Orange laptop is coming in 10-15 days.
My emotions over it have gone from up to down to up again.
And again.
Um, and again.
I started to wonder if I was being tested.
Then my mom says that maybe it's a blessing. I'd been willing to settle for a refurbished but this way I get a new one.
Then I started hating technology altogether and decided I was getting rid of my iPhone and my computer at home and I'd just start writing letters.
Like with a pen.
And paper.
Crazy, huh?
So, Josh tells me it's no longer my decision. That it's his. He doesn't want me worrying about it anymore. Says he'll make a decision and let me know in the morning (today).
This morning he tells me he wants me to keep it.
And I am nothing if not submissive to my husband.
-- Post From My iPhone
My mom called and said Dell called. Or the person that had promised me a new laptop called.
He apologized up and down that I thought I wasn't getting a new laptop as promised. It was not in the system yet by the time I had talked to the girl that informed me that, indeed there wasn't one coming.
He said he was still processing my old one and taking other calls and that's why she didn't see the dispatch of our conversation.
A brand new Tangerine Orange laptop is coming in 10-15 days.
My emotions over it have gone from up to down to up again.
And again.
Um, and again.
I started to wonder if I was being tested.
Then my mom says that maybe it's a blessing. I'd been willing to settle for a refurbished but this way I get a new one.
Then I started hating technology altogether and decided I was getting rid of my iPhone and my computer at home and I'd just start writing letters.
Like with a pen.
And paper.
Crazy, huh?
So, Josh tells me it's no longer my decision. That it's his. He doesn't want me worrying about it anymore. Says he'll make a decision and let me know in the morning (today).
This morning he tells me he wants me to keep it.
And I am nothing if not submissive to my husband.
-- Post From My iPhone
How YOU Doin'
I'm in Idaho.
Well, all of us are.
Not just me.
We just finished tarping our heaviest load of hay. Yes, we. I helped.
I'm a helper.
We are headed to Seattle with it, where it will be put into a container, onto a container ship and transported by sea to another country.
You know, if pirates aren't needing it for THEIR cows.
Yesterday was a fabulous day! Started with being able to see my aunt, uncle and sweet cousins in Nampa, Idaho.
They met us at a truck stop and we loaded up the nine of us in their five passenger sedan and cruised to...none other than....
Wait for it...
Starbucks!
I was all set to use the twenty bucks the Lord left in the bushes for me but my uncle treated and we were greatly blessed.
Zorro, the Birthday Boy!!
My Uncle Eric, also known as the Spice Whisperer. She can be the crabbiest, fussiest baby but when he holds her she's happy.
I wish I could say I was the cute one in the picture above, but that's Kenny, my aunt. I love her and would love to be just like her if I grow up.
Thanks for picking us up family, we loved it!
We showered last night at The Garden of Eden truck stop last night.
Kinda sad when a truck stop bathtub is bigger than what we have at home. So nice to be clean, even if 12 hours later Sugar looks like this....
Sigh...
We may be showered and clean but we have hay in our hair, mud in our feet and there may or may not be some in my bra.
How does it get there you ask? No clue.
No clue at all.
It happens every week that one of the four of us gets shafted on having enough clothes for the week.
And this week whoever packed our bags only packed me two shirts, one of which was already dirty.
Whoever did that should be banished to a deserted island where all there is to drink is Iced Hazelnut Breves or Sangrias. With only chocolate and peanut butter to eat served by a hottie with a fake tooth and arms that are to die for.
(Coveralls optional but not needed.)
Yes. That sounds like reasonable punishment.
--Post From My iPhone
Well, all of us are.
Not just me.
We just finished tarping our heaviest load of hay. Yes, we. I helped.
I'm a helper.
We are headed to Seattle with it, where it will be put into a container, onto a container ship and transported by sea to another country.
You know, if pirates aren't needing it for THEIR cows.
Yesterday was a fabulous day! Started with being able to see my aunt, uncle and sweet cousins in Nampa, Idaho.
They met us at a truck stop and we loaded up the nine of us in their five passenger sedan and cruised to...none other than....
Wait for it...
Starbucks!
I was all set to use the twenty bucks the Lord left in the bushes for me but my uncle treated and we were greatly blessed.
Zorro, the Birthday Boy!!
My Uncle Eric, also known as the Spice Whisperer. She can be the crabbiest, fussiest baby but when he holds her she's happy.
I wish I could say I was the cute one in the picture above, but that's Kenny, my aunt. I love her and would love to be just like her if I grow up.
Thanks for picking us up family, we loved it!
We showered last night at The Garden of Eden truck stop last night.
Kinda sad when a truck stop bathtub is bigger than what we have at home. So nice to be clean, even if 12 hours later Sugar looks like this....
Sigh...
We may be showered and clean but we have hay in our hair, mud in our feet and there may or may not be some in my bra.
How does it get there you ask? No clue.
No clue at all.
It happens every week that one of the four of us gets shafted on having enough clothes for the week.
And this week whoever packed our bags only packed me two shirts, one of which was already dirty.
Whoever did that should be banished to a deserted island where all there is to drink is Iced Hazelnut Breves or Sangrias. With only chocolate and peanut butter to eat served by a hottie with a fake tooth and arms that are to die for.
(Coveralls optional but not needed.)
Yes. That sounds like reasonable punishment.
--Post From My iPhone
Monday, June 15, 2009
At least it ended well
11 pm on a Monday from hell.
Pardon me, but seriously. Today has been an exhausting day.
It started at 8:10 this morning with a phone call to Dell. Nemo (new laptop) has had some issues from the get-go. I tried to ignore them but they were just too frustrating to let slide.
Let me tell you that from the moment I ordered her I didn't feel right about it. While I was excited to finally have it for the truck and a system newer than seven years old, my heart has never been fully at peace.
I know the Lord was speaking to me.
I was just trying to shush Him.
Note: Don't shush God.
Now that we have that taken care of....
I had to get this phone call taken care of this morning because we were set to head out in the truck some time today and I only have 21 days from date of purchase for a return. And they'll only refund me if something is found wrong with it by Tech Support, otherwise I pay a restocking fee of 15%.
My mom had left with the kids (not mine) and I got mine settled with snacks and a movie so I could make my uninterrupted phone call.
Starting at 8:10 I was not through with them until 3:30.
No joke.
Oh how I wish I were.
At about 11 I was bawling. A complete wreck. At one point I had been transferred to Dell Latin America Supporte. No freakin joke. One of the 8 people I'd been transferred to kept asking me to repeat my name because he couldn't understand me through my snot nosed, sobbing mess. I spoke with him for approximately two hours. I kept saying I wanted to return it, he kept saying they would fix it. I didn't want it fixed. I just wanted it gone and without having to pay the restocking fee.
He puts me on hold.
Shocking. It'd only been the 37th time so far and there were more to come.
He comes back on the line, says he spoke with his supervisor and what if they sent me a BRAND NEW laptop in place of my refurbished one?
I asked the all important question.
"will it still be orange?"
"jess, jess. Eet wheel steel bee orange."
Whew.
I asked if I could keep this piece of junk til the new one came.
"jess, jess."
He asked if I wanted everything else the same and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, " jess, jess."
I just said, "yes, that'd be great."
And that was that.
1 pm and finally I was done. I felt a little better but not 100%. I remembered there was a feature I didn't like and wondered if I could have it changed.
Each time I had been put on hold they ran through the same commercial thingys and kept saying I could use Dell Chat Support online. My ear hurt from being on the phone all day so I thought chat would be easier.
Man, am I glad I decided to do that.
I get in touch with a girl and shortly into our chat she realizes there is a problem. She asks if I have been given a reference # stating I have a new laptop coming in exchange for my refurb.
Uh, no.
She comes back after a couple of minutes and says there is no record of my conversation with Ahminidad. (or whatever his name was.)
She apologizes and transfers me to her supervisor.
He apologizes profusely and asks what I'd like to do.
I tell him I'd like to just return it but I don't want to pay the restocking fee. He says I will get a full refund but can't promise I won't pay the fee.
So, I tell him that I would then like a code to give to customer care so that I was sure not to have to pay it.
And he gave me one. Thank You, Lord!
I had to call customer care where I was then transferred three more times.
All is good. Nemo will return to the ocean and I don't have to pay a dime.
Whew.
Have I mentioned I have not had Starbucks in TWO DAYS!!!???
Ahem. Anyway...
But then I had another issue to deal with. The air card I'd purchased on Saturday from AT&T. It comes with a 2 yr contract. Ugh. I call my rep who sold me my phone and then the air card and he assures me I can bring it in for a refund.
So, on our way to Idaho tonight in the Peterbilt with our trailers, Josh dumps me off in the suicide lane and I run to AT&T. My guy is there. And says he'll override the air card restocking fee (what the heck is it with THOSE!?) and that he'll refund everything and I am good to go.
I call Josh to come get me and while on the phone with him and walking down the sidewalk there are some bushes. Inside the bushes...a twenty dollar bill.
How cool is that?
And how cool is it that on the back of this twenty dollar bill it says, "in God we trust."
I've had a crappy day. Not only with Dell but with stuff going on at my house. I've been wondering how much more of this I can take.
I don't know if the Lord's just tryin' to pay me off ;) or if He gave me that note to remind me to trust Him and uh, maybe to get myself a coffee in the morning.
-- Post From My iPhone
Pardon me, but seriously. Today has been an exhausting day.
It started at 8:10 this morning with a phone call to Dell. Nemo (new laptop) has had some issues from the get-go. I tried to ignore them but they were just too frustrating to let slide.
Let me tell you that from the moment I ordered her I didn't feel right about it. While I was excited to finally have it for the truck and a system newer than seven years old, my heart has never been fully at peace.
I know the Lord was speaking to me.
I was just trying to shush Him.
Note: Don't shush God.
Now that we have that taken care of....
I had to get this phone call taken care of this morning because we were set to head out in the truck some time today and I only have 21 days from date of purchase for a return. And they'll only refund me if something is found wrong with it by Tech Support, otherwise I pay a restocking fee of 15%.
My mom had left with the kids (not mine) and I got mine settled with snacks and a movie so I could make my uninterrupted phone call.
Starting at 8:10 I was not through with them until 3:30.
No joke.
Oh how I wish I were.
At about 11 I was bawling. A complete wreck. At one point I had been transferred to Dell Latin America Supporte. No freakin joke. One of the 8 people I'd been transferred to kept asking me to repeat my name because he couldn't understand me through my snot nosed, sobbing mess. I spoke with him for approximately two hours. I kept saying I wanted to return it, he kept saying they would fix it. I didn't want it fixed. I just wanted it gone and without having to pay the restocking fee.
He puts me on hold.
Shocking. It'd only been the 37th time so far and there were more to come.
He comes back on the line, says he spoke with his supervisor and what if they sent me a BRAND NEW laptop in place of my refurbished one?
I asked the all important question.
"will it still be orange?"
"jess, jess. Eet wheel steel bee orange."
Whew.
I asked if I could keep this piece of junk til the new one came.
"jess, jess."
He asked if I wanted everything else the same and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, " jess, jess."
I just said, "yes, that'd be great."
And that was that.
1 pm and finally I was done. I felt a little better but not 100%. I remembered there was a feature I didn't like and wondered if I could have it changed.
Each time I had been put on hold they ran through the same commercial thingys and kept saying I could use Dell Chat Support online. My ear hurt from being on the phone all day so I thought chat would be easier.
Man, am I glad I decided to do that.
I get in touch with a girl and shortly into our chat she realizes there is a problem. She asks if I have been given a reference # stating I have a new laptop coming in exchange for my refurb.
Uh, no.
She comes back after a couple of minutes and says there is no record of my conversation with Ahminidad. (or whatever his name was.)
She apologizes and transfers me to her supervisor.
He apologizes profusely and asks what I'd like to do.
I tell him I'd like to just return it but I don't want to pay the restocking fee. He says I will get a full refund but can't promise I won't pay the fee.
So, I tell him that I would then like a code to give to customer care so that I was sure not to have to pay it.
And he gave me one. Thank You, Lord!
I had to call customer care where I was then transferred three more times.
All is good. Nemo will return to the ocean and I don't have to pay a dime.
Whew.
Have I mentioned I have not had Starbucks in TWO DAYS!!!???
Ahem. Anyway...
But then I had another issue to deal with. The air card I'd purchased on Saturday from AT&T. It comes with a 2 yr contract. Ugh. I call my rep who sold me my phone and then the air card and he assures me I can bring it in for a refund.
So, on our way to Idaho tonight in the Peterbilt with our trailers, Josh dumps me off in the suicide lane and I run to AT&T. My guy is there. And says he'll override the air card restocking fee (what the heck is it with THOSE!?) and that he'll refund everything and I am good to go.
I call Josh to come get me and while on the phone with him and walking down the sidewalk there are some bushes. Inside the bushes...a twenty dollar bill.
How cool is that?
And how cool is it that on the back of this twenty dollar bill it says, "in God we trust."
I've had a crappy day. Not only with Dell but with stuff going on at my house. I've been wondering how much more of this I can take.
I don't know if the Lord's just tryin' to pay me off ;) or if He gave me that note to remind me to trust Him and uh, maybe to get myself a coffee in the morning.
-- Post From My iPhone
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Hoard Stuff I'm dealing with
Since being here the last couple of months my mom, on two different occasions has said how we have a lot of stuff. I don't think she meant is as hurtful but I was taken aback by it both times.
Hurt.
Guarded.
But she's right. We do have a lot of stuff. Some of it may actually be something else that starts with S that doesn't end in tuff but more like hit.
Ahem.
Growing up we moved a lot. And since we were never in one place for very long, it was easy to not accumulate sh, err..stuff.
And since she still moves around a lot, she still doesn't accumulate stuff. In fact, every time she moves, she downsizes.
But you see, Josh and I have lived in this house 9.5 years. And we have an unfinished 1100 sq ft. basement.
It begs us to put stuff in it.
And we oblige.
I don't believe I'm anything near those people you see on Oprah or Dr. Phil but I'm realizing that I do have a tendency to hoard things.
And I don't know if it stems from not being able to keep things while growing up or if it's just because I'm a freakin' pack rat. (I almost said pack mule) =)
I'm not the only one though, my husband is collector as well. (like how I changed it from hoarder to collector? makes me feel better.)
He collects things like tools, scrap metal, engines, oil, screws, camping equipment, and life jackets. But I suppose we shouldn't get rid of those life jackets, huh? Since ya just never know...
I'm more of a collector of household goods, scrapbook supplies, my girls' baby clothes and size 2 jeans and size small shirts. Because SOMEDAY my goodness I WILL wear them again!!!
Today though, I am getting ready for my mom and the kids to return. I have been sleeping in her room all week because it's quite warm upstairs and it's crowded up there. So, I'm getting laundry done and realizing how many clothes we have, how many toys we have, how many of everything we have. And that's not including that basement down there!
So, the girls and I went upstairs today and I started going through all.of.our.clothes.
Heavens.
Man, we have a lot of clothes. Josh actually probably has the most, with Spice coming in at a close second. Sugar has clothes but not many that fit her. Her birthday is coming, so I'm not out buying her much for summer clothes just yet. I have the least amount of clothes...that fit. In the basement I have a tub (possibly two) full of clothes from my glory days. The days of being a size 2. I hold on to those clothes. And that's not right. It's quite obvious I have issues with them.
Serious issues. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be that size again. So why have I kept them these last four years?
I don't know.
It's time. It's time they go. I don't know if I'm going to try to eBay them or if I should just donate 'em.
Another area I collect, is scrapbook supplies. I have myself a love for all things paper, acrylics, accessories, and more paper. I've talked many times about doing away with all of it. But I've invested a few grand, literally, in scrapbook supplies and I just can't let it go. At least not right now. So, I've made the decision to just not buy any more. Not until I feel like I've used what I have. Such a hard decision.
While upstairs cleaning this morning I told Sugar we were going to go through her toys. I sat her down and explained to her that many children do not have toys and that we were very blessed to have all the toys we do. I told her the things we'd be keeping for sure, like her Hot Wheels and her books but that she was going to need to pick out three things to keep and the rest would be given to other little kids. At first her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly regained her composure.
She chose her Noah's Ark toy.
It comes with the Ark and 592 other little pieces.
She's quick.
After that she picked her tea cup set that Amber gave her for her Christmas.
It comes with 327 little pieces.
Smart kid I have.
She couldn't decide on her third item. So we went outside for a bit, then made lunch and now they are down for naps.
I've been in the process throughout writing out this post, of switching laundry, doing dishes, ironing and going through the clothes. Whether clothes fit the girls or not, I'm not going to be keeping all that we have. I'll keep all of Spice's new clothes from her birthday (she got a ton!) and I'll keep out some play clothes, a probably five nicer outfits. But the rest needs to go. Shoes included. Sugar has quite a few pair(s?) most of which do not fit (too big) but I keep them, thinking, someday she'll fit into them. I need to realize that the Lord provides for all of our needs and I don't need to be hoarding shoes that won't fit her until she's 8.
This is a hard thing.
The last hard thing I'm dealing with. The hardest thing.
And unless you have this same addiction, you just won't get it and I don't expect anyone to, I just don't want to be made to feel any sillier than I already do.
It's my coffee habit.
It costs me, on average $120 a month to drink coffee. Rather, it costs me $120 a month to drink Starbucks coffee.
I had said at the beginning of the week that I wouldn't have it this week. I even bought Folgers to make myself some home brew but not once did I make it.
Josh asked me today how it was going with the whole coffee deal. I got defensive. And shortly after we hung up.
He called later to apologize.
Are you kidding me, why was HE apologizing. He said he felt bad leaving things on a negative note while he's away. Man, he's amazing. He said the coffee thing was my deal, that he was glad I could have it and that it was a choice I needed to make.
The only reason I went today was because I was lonely and bored and at Starbucks they like me and I run into people from town that I know and I get some social interaction!!!
Whew, I'm outta breath over that.
Honestly though. Even though somehow I afford it every month, I shouldn't. And it's become a habit instead of a treat.
Sorry, this is super long post of America. Just (quite) a few things I needed to get out there. You know, for some accountability I suppose.
Hurt.
Guarded.
But she's right. We do have a lot of stuff. Some of it may actually be something else that starts with S that doesn't end in tuff but more like hit.
Ahem.
Growing up we moved a lot. And since we were never in one place for very long, it was easy to not accumulate sh, err..stuff.
And since she still moves around a lot, she still doesn't accumulate stuff. In fact, every time she moves, she downsizes.
But you see, Josh and I have lived in this house 9.5 years. And we have an unfinished 1100 sq ft. basement.
It begs us to put stuff in it.
And we oblige.
I don't believe I'm anything near those people you see on Oprah or Dr. Phil but I'm realizing that I do have a tendency to hoard things.
And I don't know if it stems from not being able to keep things while growing up or if it's just because I'm a freakin' pack rat. (I almost said pack mule) =)
I'm not the only one though, my husband is collector as well. (like how I changed it from hoarder to collector? makes me feel better.)
He collects things like tools, scrap metal, engines, oil, screws, camping equipment, and life jackets. But I suppose we shouldn't get rid of those life jackets, huh? Since ya just never know...
I'm more of a collector of household goods, scrapbook supplies, my girls' baby clothes and size 2 jeans and size small shirts. Because SOMEDAY my goodness I WILL wear them again!!!
Today though, I am getting ready for my mom and the kids to return. I have been sleeping in her room all week because it's quite warm upstairs and it's crowded up there. So, I'm getting laundry done and realizing how many clothes we have, how many toys we have, how many of everything we have. And that's not including that basement down there!
So, the girls and I went upstairs today and I started going through all.of.our.clothes.
Heavens.
Man, we have a lot of clothes. Josh actually probably has the most, with Spice coming in at a close second. Sugar has clothes but not many that fit her. Her birthday is coming, so I'm not out buying her much for summer clothes just yet. I have the least amount of clothes...that fit. In the basement I have a tub (possibly two) full of clothes from my glory days. The days of being a size 2. I hold on to those clothes. And that's not right. It's quite obvious I have issues with them.
Serious issues. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be that size again. So why have I kept them these last four years?
I don't know.
It's time. It's time they go. I don't know if I'm going to try to eBay them or if I should just donate 'em.
Another area I collect, is scrapbook supplies. I have myself a love for all things paper, acrylics, accessories, and more paper. I've talked many times about doing away with all of it. But I've invested a few grand, literally, in scrapbook supplies and I just can't let it go. At least not right now. So, I've made the decision to just not buy any more. Not until I feel like I've used what I have. Such a hard decision.
While upstairs cleaning this morning I told Sugar we were going to go through her toys. I sat her down and explained to her that many children do not have toys and that we were very blessed to have all the toys we do. I told her the things we'd be keeping for sure, like her Hot Wheels and her books but that she was going to need to pick out three things to keep and the rest would be given to other little kids. At first her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly regained her composure.
She chose her Noah's Ark toy.
It comes with the Ark and 592 other little pieces.
She's quick.
After that she picked her tea cup set that Amber gave her for her Christmas.
It comes with 327 little pieces.
Smart kid I have.
She couldn't decide on her third item. So we went outside for a bit, then made lunch and now they are down for naps.
I've been in the process throughout writing out this post, of switching laundry, doing dishes, ironing and going through the clothes. Whether clothes fit the girls or not, I'm not going to be keeping all that we have. I'll keep all of Spice's new clothes from her birthday (she got a ton!) and I'll keep out some play clothes, a probably five nicer outfits. But the rest needs to go. Shoes included. Sugar has quite a few pair(s?) most of which do not fit (too big) but I keep them, thinking, someday she'll fit into them. I need to realize that the Lord provides for all of our needs and I don't need to be hoarding shoes that won't fit her until she's 8.
This is a hard thing.
The last hard thing I'm dealing with. The hardest thing.
And unless you have this same addiction, you just won't get it and I don't expect anyone to, I just don't want to be made to feel any sillier than I already do.
It's my coffee habit.
It costs me, on average $120 a month to drink coffee. Rather, it costs me $120 a month to drink Starbucks coffee.
I had said at the beginning of the week that I wouldn't have it this week. I even bought Folgers to make myself some home brew but not once did I make it.
Josh asked me today how it was going with the whole coffee deal. I got defensive. And shortly after we hung up.
He called later to apologize.
Are you kidding me, why was HE apologizing. He said he felt bad leaving things on a negative note while he's away. Man, he's amazing. He said the coffee thing was my deal, that he was glad I could have it and that it was a choice I needed to make.
The only reason I went today was because I was lonely and bored and at Starbucks they like me and I run into people from town that I know and I get some social interaction!!!
Whew, I'm outta breath over that.
Honestly though. Even though somehow I afford it every month, I shouldn't. And it's become a habit instead of a treat.
Sorry, this is super long post of America. Just (quite) a few things I needed to get out there. You know, for some accountability I suppose.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Dude, the Mother of all Birthday Presents
If we're friends on Facebook, you already know what Josh's birthday gift to me was.
And if we're not friends on FB, then that's what this post is all about!
For several months and then very much so in these last couple of months, I have been wanting a laptop.
And not just any laptop.
An orange one.
My only requirements were that it be Dell and...orange.
But pretty, colored ones cost more money. Usually. And the one I'd wanted was about 1700 smacks. Holy smokes.
I just don't think so. I wasn't even willing to spend half that.
In all honesty, after my amazing husband bought me an iPhone, I didn't think I'd be getting a laptop til my 93rd birthday.
But lo and behold!
I was wrong!
(mark your calendars, because that doesn't happen very often!)
I came home for my birthday. I wasn't too excited about spending it in the truck since it was a git 'er done time of the week. If we'd had some down time, I would have been all about it, knowing that my husband would treat me to dinner somewhere fun. But the way the schedule was working out, he'd be treating me to a coupla truck stop burritoes with a fountain drink and since we were low on plastic bags, I opted to go home for my birthday.
I'm such a drag, huh?
He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn't have to tell him, he's no dummy. (though he's been called a "Dumb Truck Driver")
Josh told me we'd go shopping on Saturday. He didn't say what for.
But I'm no dummy!
I started looking on Dell's Outlet website and found 'er. The sweet love of my life.
I am sooo computer illiterate it's not even funny. I have no idea what I have in my hands other than that she's 17" of pure Tangerine Orange bliss!
I wish I could show you pictures. But I'm too lazy to get my camera. If we're FB friends, I'll be uploading them to there for you to have a look-see.
No hate mail, please. I already know I am a spoiled rotten brat. But, you see, I'm okay with that. After 11 years of marriage, he still spoils me.
And I'm okay with that!
It wasn't an easy decision. I have a harder time spending money when we have it. It's a weird thing I have. If the money isn't there to spend, well then let's go shopping! But if I have it, I think of every blasted thing I could be doing with the money. I had quite a list going and I'm so thankful to FB friends who encouraged me. =) So, the list of stuff I could have done with laptop money will have to wait until apple harvest when Josh is putting in crazy hours. Our next fatty paycheck is all his.
He plans to buy a turbo for Suburban. Can you hear Tim Allen right now? Me too.
I will post a picture of Nemo soon. Promise.
Yes, Nemo.
Sugar just saw that movie for the first time and when I opened the box, she asked me what her name was. Since she's Tangerine Orange, I was thinking Tang would be fun. Sugar disagreed.
"No, no, Mama, her name is Nemo. Because she's orange!"
Alright, kid.
So, Nemo it is.
And if we're not friends on FB, then that's what this post is all about!
For several months and then very much so in these last couple of months, I have been wanting a laptop.
And not just any laptop.
An orange one.
My only requirements were that it be Dell and...orange.
But pretty, colored ones cost more money. Usually. And the one I'd wanted was about 1700 smacks. Holy smokes.
I just don't think so. I wasn't even willing to spend half that.
In all honesty, after my amazing husband bought me an iPhone, I didn't think I'd be getting a laptop til my 93rd birthday.
But lo and behold!
I was wrong!
(mark your calendars, because that doesn't happen very often!)
I came home for my birthday. I wasn't too excited about spending it in the truck since it was a git 'er done time of the week. If we'd had some down time, I would have been all about it, knowing that my husband would treat me to dinner somewhere fun. But the way the schedule was working out, he'd be treating me to a coupla truck stop burritoes with a fountain drink and since we were low on plastic bags, I opted to go home for my birthday.
I'm such a drag, huh?
He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn't have to tell him, he's no dummy. (though he's been called a "Dumb Truck Driver")
Josh told me we'd go shopping on Saturday. He didn't say what for.
But I'm no dummy!
I started looking on Dell's Outlet website and found 'er. The sweet love of my life.
I am sooo computer illiterate it's not even funny. I have no idea what I have in my hands other than that she's 17" of pure Tangerine Orange bliss!
I wish I could show you pictures. But I'm too lazy to get my camera. If we're FB friends, I'll be uploading them to there for you to have a look-see.
No hate mail, please. I already know I am a spoiled rotten brat. But, you see, I'm okay with that. After 11 years of marriage, he still spoils me.
And I'm okay with that!
It wasn't an easy decision. I have a harder time spending money when we have it. It's a weird thing I have. If the money isn't there to spend, well then let's go shopping! But if I have it, I think of every blasted thing I could be doing with the money. I had quite a list going and I'm so thankful to FB friends who encouraged me. =) So, the list of stuff I could have done with laptop money will have to wait until apple harvest when Josh is putting in crazy hours. Our next fatty paycheck is all his.
He plans to buy a turbo for Suburban. Can you hear Tim Allen right now? Me too.
I will post a picture of Nemo soon. Promise.
Yes, Nemo.
Sugar just saw that movie for the first time and when I opened the box, she asked me what her name was. Since she's Tangerine Orange, I was thinking Tang would be fun. Sugar disagreed.
"No, no, Mama, her name is Nemo. Because she's orange!"
Alright, kid.
So, Nemo it is.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Honest Henry
*no one but my sister, Megan, would understand the title to this post. Sadly, she never reads my blog. But I'm titling it that anyway because it cracks me up.*
I'm home this week.
And shhh, don't tell anyone...but it feels GLORIOUS!
My mom and the kids aren't here. Well, mine are but the other three are not.
So, it's pretty quiet around here. Besides the neighbors blaring music in Spanish that is.
While I'm lonely without my husband around, I'm truly enjoying being home. It's nice to cook meals on solid ground. It's nice to eat at the table. I loved checking my mail today even though nothing exciting was in there. I hung out at my house. I brushed my teeth. *gasp* I showered. I drove a car.
Things that are taken so for granted normally. I think checking the mail and driving are the biggest things I miss. I love to drive. I love to check the mail. And anymore, I only drive a couple of days a week and when I get home on Fridays, my mail is piled up on the counter waiting for me. (Last week a jumping spider was in the mix.) (I 'bout peed my pants over it.)
(I don't like spiders!!!)
At the beginning of last week I had started a post from my phone. A gut wrenching honest post about how I feel about this truck life we're living.
I'd spent close to an hour on the blasted thing (it takes awhile when you're posting with your thumbs) and then wham! Something happened and it was gone.
I almost swore.
Which I don't do often (except recently in Scrabble games) (I blame Emily.)
So, here's the honest truth.
I hate trucking.
WHEW! That felt amazing! Huge weight lifted off me.
But you wanna know what else?
I love it.
No, seriously. I do. I have a love/hate relationship with many things. And trucking is added to that list.
I love McDonald's french fries but hate the fact that the last 4 years of eating them are sitting on each thigh...and quite possibly each butt cheek. (nice mental picture, eh?)
I love Starbucks but hate that it drains my children's college fund.
I love Emily but hate that she kicks my butt at Scrabble, constantly.
So, I can love and hate my truck life.
We have good weeks and we have bad weeks. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to call it quits. Ready to be D-O-N-E.
I'd had it. We'd left on a Sunday and didn't get home until Saturday. Loooong week. Yes, I'd gotten showers in that week. You know, like one. Possibly two.
The thing I hate most about being in the truck would have to be trying to cook or get food ready while driving. I hate standing in the truck while it's moving. Makes me mad because many times I've tripped and I don't like that.
The thing I love most about being in the truck would have to be the time spent together. The sights we see. The places we stop, however brief, just to get out, stretch our legs and of course snap some pictures.
My husband is absolutely loving life. I haven't seen him this happy since...well, since the day before he quit trucking last time. It's what he was made to do.
And seeing him happy like this is worth every bit of the inconveniences I'm facing.
I'm home this week.
And shhh, don't tell anyone...but it feels GLORIOUS!
My mom and the kids aren't here. Well, mine are but the other three are not.
So, it's pretty quiet around here. Besides the neighbors blaring music in Spanish that is.
While I'm lonely without my husband around, I'm truly enjoying being home. It's nice to cook meals on solid ground. It's nice to eat at the table. I loved checking my mail today even though nothing exciting was in there. I hung out at my house. I brushed my teeth. *gasp* I showered. I drove a car.
Things that are taken so for granted normally. I think checking the mail and driving are the biggest things I miss. I love to drive. I love to check the mail. And anymore, I only drive a couple of days a week and when I get home on Fridays, my mail is piled up on the counter waiting for me. (Last week a jumping spider was in the mix.) (I 'bout peed my pants over it.)
(I don't like spiders!!!)
At the beginning of last week I had started a post from my phone. A gut wrenching honest post about how I feel about this truck life we're living.
I'd spent close to an hour on the blasted thing (it takes awhile when you're posting with your thumbs) and then wham! Something happened and it was gone.
I almost swore.
Which I don't do often (except recently in Scrabble games) (I blame Emily.)
So, here's the honest truth.
I hate trucking.
WHEW! That felt amazing! Huge weight lifted off me.
But you wanna know what else?
I love it.
No, seriously. I do. I have a love/hate relationship with many things. And trucking is added to that list.
I love McDonald's french fries but hate the fact that the last 4 years of eating them are sitting on each thigh...and quite possibly each butt cheek. (nice mental picture, eh?)
I love Starbucks but hate that it drains my children's college fund.
I love Emily but hate that she kicks my butt at Scrabble, constantly.
So, I can love and hate my truck life.
We have good weeks and we have bad weeks. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to call it quits. Ready to be D-O-N-E.
I'd had it. We'd left on a Sunday and didn't get home until Saturday. Loooong week. Yes, I'd gotten showers in that week. You know, like one. Possibly two.
The thing I hate most about being in the truck would have to be trying to cook or get food ready while driving. I hate standing in the truck while it's moving. Makes me mad because many times I've tripped and I don't like that.
The thing I love most about being in the truck would have to be the time spent together. The sights we see. The places we stop, however brief, just to get out, stretch our legs and of course snap some pictures.
My husband is absolutely loving life. I haven't seen him this happy since...well, since the day before he quit trucking last time. It's what he was made to do.
And seeing him happy like this is worth every bit of the inconveniences I'm facing.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
I'll do it even though it's even numbers
I have a thing for numbers and I prefer them to be odd. Shocking, huh?
But Tiffany tagged me to do an 8's meme and since I'm all about those, I'll do it even though it's the number 8. Which I loathe.
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. My birthday. (even though it's 360 days away)
2. Camping trip with Emily and her fam.
3. Trip to Pacific City in August
4. Josh to be home. He left this morning and we won't likely see him til Friday. Boo.
5. My 11 year wedding anniversary.
6. FedEx delivery on Thursday.
7. Meeting up with my B&SIL and sweet niece for a picnic in the park this evening.
8. And of course NKOTB in July with Amber. (yes, we're going again)
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Went to church.
2. Did dishes.
3. Held a baby boy and may or may not have considered putting him in my purse.
4. Mowed my backyard.
5. Went to the park and watched Josh be superdad.
6. Felt sorry for myself that my husband was leaving.
7. Considered going to Starbucks...but didn't.
8. Threw my arms around Josh when he said he called his boss and asked if he could leave at 4 am this morning instead of yesterday afternoon!
Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. I wish I could stop chewing my fingernails.
2. I wish I could do blog designs for funsies.
3. I wish I were 115 lbs again. (kids, were they worth it?!)
4. I wish I didn't have to fight the urge to go to Starbucks. But I'm not gonna do it this week! (shud it, I'm not!)
5. I wish I could re-live three years of my life and do them over. (I know the past is passed, but sometimes man, sometimes...)
6. I wish that from the beginning of our marriage that I'd been a good steward of the money Josh made.
7. I wish Spice would quit waking up at 4:30 am.
8. I wish I could scrapbook, efficiently. (Instead I stew over the pictures I have, the product I have and the lack of git 'er done.)
8 Shows I Watch:
Um, I don't.
8. Favorite Fruits:
1. Strawberries
2. Pineapple
3. Bananas (but only if they're dipped in chocolate..other than that, they give me the shivers)
4. Peaches (but only in cobbler)
5. Okay, I think I'm just not a big fruit girl, I can think of a ton of veggies I love but fruit...not so much.
8 Places I'd Like to Travel:
1. Florida to visit friends.
2. New York
3. North Carolina
4. Africa (so I can meet that little boy I love)
5. A mission trip, anywhere.
6. San Juan Islands
7. Hawaii (I'd love to spend our 15th anniversary here)
8. Tennessee (so many bloggy friends there that I'd LOVE to meet!)
8 Places I've Lived:
This one CRACKS me up. I could fill this section out probably 4 times. So I'll just go with one town, the town I started school in and finished school in but not necessarily the town I lived in my whole life. =)
1. I lived on 5th street in a trailer park.
2. I lived at 1207 Stassen in a trailer park.
3. But a few years before that I lived in...another trailer across the street. Too little at the time to know that address.
4. I lived here...
But Tiffany tagged me to do an 8's meme and since I'm all about those, I'll do it even though it's the number 8. Which I loathe.
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. My birthday. (even though it's 360 days away)
2. Camping trip with Emily and her fam.
3. Trip to Pacific City in August
4. Josh to be home. He left this morning and we won't likely see him til Friday. Boo.
5. My 11 year wedding anniversary.
6. FedEx delivery on Thursday.
7. Meeting up with my B&SIL and sweet niece for a picnic in the park this evening.
8. And of course NKOTB in July with Amber. (yes, we're going again)
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Went to church.
2. Did dishes.
3. Held a baby boy and may or may not have considered putting him in my purse.
4. Mowed my backyard.
5. Went to the park and watched Josh be superdad.
6. Felt sorry for myself that my husband was leaving.
7. Considered going to Starbucks...but didn't.
8. Threw my arms around Josh when he said he called his boss and asked if he could leave at 4 am this morning instead of yesterday afternoon!
Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. I wish I could stop chewing my fingernails.
2. I wish I could do blog designs for funsies.
3. I wish I were 115 lbs again. (kids, were they worth it?!)
4. I wish I didn't have to fight the urge to go to Starbucks. But I'm not gonna do it this week! (shud it, I'm not!)
5. I wish I could re-live three years of my life and do them over. (I know the past is passed, but sometimes man, sometimes...)
6. I wish that from the beginning of our marriage that I'd been a good steward of the money Josh made.
7. I wish Spice would quit waking up at 4:30 am.
8. I wish I could scrapbook, efficiently. (Instead I stew over the pictures I have, the product I have and the lack of git 'er done.)
8 Shows I Watch:
Um, I don't.
8. Favorite Fruits:
1. Strawberries
2. Pineapple
3. Bananas (but only if they're dipped in chocolate..other than that, they give me the shivers)
4. Peaches (but only in cobbler)
5. Okay, I think I'm just not a big fruit girl, I can think of a ton of veggies I love but fruit...not so much.
8 Places I'd Like to Travel:
1. Florida to visit friends.
2. New York
3. North Carolina
4. Africa (so I can meet that little boy I love)
5. A mission trip, anywhere.
6. San Juan Islands
7. Hawaii (I'd love to spend our 15th anniversary here)
8. Tennessee (so many bloggy friends there that I'd LOVE to meet!)
8 Places I've Lived:
This one CRACKS me up. I could fill this section out probably 4 times. So I'll just go with one town, the town I started school in and finished school in but not necessarily the town I lived in my whole life. =)
1. I lived on 5th street in a trailer park.
2. I lived at 1207 Stassen in a trailer park.
3. But a few years before that I lived in...another trailer across the street. Too little at the time to know that address.
4. I lived here...
What's that you ask? Oh, just a place fondly known as the corner store. Where you can get 2 burritos and a 32 oz. soda for 1.99
Yes, I really lived there.
5. I lived at 908 Acoma Dr. my freshman year
6. I lived at 312 Cedar St. my sophmore year (then we moved to another town for my part of my junior yr but I still went to the same school)
7. I lived at 205 Elm St. for another part of my junior year and then...
8. We moved across the street to 208 Elm St. for the duration of my high school career. (My mom ended up living there for five years. The longest she'd ever lived anywhere.)
Just one town. And that's not all the houses in that town. I know there were a couple of others from when I was a toddler and another when I was in Kinder.
I know I'm supposed to tag 8 peeps but I'll just let you do it on your own if you choose. Let me know if you've done it so I can head on over and read your fun answers!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Another Change of Name
I started my blog almost three years ago.
When I first started 'er, she was titled "Organized Chaos" but hello, that was just silly. It should have just been titled, "Chaos" since there's absolutely nothing organized about me.
Then I moved on to, "The Front Porch" and I had it that way for probably a year and a half. I still like that name and what it stood for, since I really feel a front porch is important (even though we don't really have one.)
And then, I read a book that talked about "this Beautiful Mess" and if you've read the book, you know what I'm talkin' about. I don't really like the drama the book stirred up and looking back, it's not that I liked or didn't like the book, it's that I liked the beautiful mess part of it. Enough so that I changed my blog title to it.
But I'm in a new season. Even though I'm still a mess (you're all nodding, I can see you!) our little family is literally shifting gears.
We were blessed with a weekend away last weekend. A weekend on the beach. And as we were leaving, heading back to our truck, Josh says, "little house on the highway."
And it fit.
And I knew I needed to change my blog name.
I had thought I needed a new blog address and all that, but I'm just going to stay here at the joshua 24-15 because that verse is still very much what we aspire to live for.
Little House on the Highway. Oh, yes, we are!
My header is in the process. I'm not smart enough to know how to do it and too cheap to pay someone. I have a friend who does it for me...fo' free! (Hey, Melis...SBUX next time yer in town, 'k?)
Thank you for the birthday wishes, I had an awesome, love-filled day! I have the best friends ever!
When I first started 'er, she was titled "Organized Chaos" but hello, that was just silly. It should have just been titled, "Chaos" since there's absolutely nothing organized about me.
Then I moved on to, "The Front Porch" and I had it that way for probably a year and a half. I still like that name and what it stood for, since I really feel a front porch is important (even though we don't really have one.)
And then, I read a book that talked about "this Beautiful Mess" and if you've read the book, you know what I'm talkin' about. I don't really like the drama the book stirred up and looking back, it's not that I liked or didn't like the book, it's that I liked the beautiful mess part of it. Enough so that I changed my blog title to it.
But I'm in a new season. Even though I'm still a mess (you're all nodding, I can see you!) our little family is literally shifting gears.
We were blessed with a weekend away last weekend. A weekend on the beach. And as we were leaving, heading back to our truck, Josh says, "little house on the highway."
And it fit.
And I knew I needed to change my blog name.
I had thought I needed a new blog address and all that, but I'm just going to stay here at the joshua 24-15 because that verse is still very much what we aspire to live for.
Little House on the Highway. Oh, yes, we are!
My header is in the process. I'm not smart enough to know how to do it and too cheap to pay someone. I have a friend who does it for me...fo' free! (Hey, Melis...SBUX next time yer in town, 'k?)
Thank you for the birthday wishes, I had an awesome, love-filled day! I have the best friends ever!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
At 29
At 29 I love Starbucks. I never thought I would. I was wrong.
At 29 my favorite color (red) is quickly being ousted by burnt orange. Whodda thunk?
At 29 my hair is longer than it's ever been and I wear it curly more often than not. I'm embracing the curly and letting go of the fact that I'll never have tame, manageable, straight hair.
At 29 flip flops are on the Top 5 of my favorite things about summer. Okay, maybe Top 3. Oh, who am I kidding? Flip flops are my favorite thing about summer!
At 29 I have quite a few gray hairs in my head. I love them and am not ashamed of them and have decided not to color my hair anymore.
At 29 I live in a Peterbilt with my family of four. The first couple of weeks were glorious and I thought it was cake. I was wrong. It's hard, man. Real. Hard.
At 29 I have been a wife for nearly 11 years (July!) and I cannot believe that I still am not good at it. After 11 years, I'm getting better...but definitely am not good. Sigh...
At 29 I love to blog, Facebook and Twitter.
At 29 I wonder if I'll have more babies. Why is my heart so conflicted?
At 29 I am 25 lbs overweight. You'd think after fours of it, I'd be sick of it and do something. You'd think wrong. I've yet to do anything about it but complain.
At 29 I have more friends than I've had in my life. Some IRL, some bloggy. But still, more friends than I've had ever. I'm lovin' this part of 29.
At 29 I have two daughters. One who's easy going. And one who's, um...not.
At 29 I have been a believer for 15 years. I still don't pray or read my bible daily. He still loves me. Thank God!
At 29 I live in the upstairs of my house. It's 495 sq. ft. and currently (as in right this very minute) it's about 90 degrees up here. I live up here because my sister's kids and my mother live in the main portion of my house. They live here because my BIL had a bone marrow transplant. Today.
At 29 I am not clever enough to come up with 29 things about myself. I'm boring as all get out. But that's okay. Boring's good. Right? RIGHT?!
At 29 this is my best friend and me, today.
On my birthday.
Monday, June 01, 2009
In the Nick of Time
One of my favorite things about blogging has been making friends with all the other bloggers. Girls who make me laugh, cry, think, and purdy much every other emotion.
Then ya get to the point where you email back and forth, chat on the phone, send birthday gifts (thank you, emily!) and the most blessed event of all......
Meeting in real life!!!
I have a sweet bloggy friend who lives just five hours south of me. And I have taken for granted that we'd just meet up someday since she's not too far.
Then I found out she was moving to Texas and girls, my heart hurt and I got a little weepy!
So, I prayed for a miracle that somehow I'd be able to meet her before she moved.
We spent the weekend in Newport, the Oregon Coast! This morning I get a text from Josh's boss saying our pick up is in Linda's town!
I had goosebumps and got teary all over again. I emailed her immediately and that sweet girl made time to come see us!
She brought her boys with her and I am in the works of arranging a couple of marriages.
Someday I am going to be the tall friend! (yeah, right)
Thank you, Linda for plan A, B, and finally C! =). It was so wonderful to hug you and hear your sweet voice!
And thank You, Jesus, for answering this girls prayer!
So, if I could link with my phone I would. But I am not that brilliant. Go see Linda at www.growinwithit.blogspot.com
-- Post From My iPhone
Then ya get to the point where you email back and forth, chat on the phone, send birthday gifts (thank you, emily!) and the most blessed event of all......
Meeting in real life!!!
I have a sweet bloggy friend who lives just five hours south of me. And I have taken for granted that we'd just meet up someday since she's not too far.
Then I found out she was moving to Texas and girls, my heart hurt and I got a little weepy!
So, I prayed for a miracle that somehow I'd be able to meet her before she moved.
We spent the weekend in Newport, the Oregon Coast! This morning I get a text from Josh's boss saying our pick up is in Linda's town!
I had goosebumps and got teary all over again. I emailed her immediately and that sweet girl made time to come see us!
She brought her boys with her and I am in the works of arranging a couple of marriages.
Someday I am going to be the tall friend! (yeah, right)
Thank you, Linda for plan A, B, and finally C! =). It was so wonderful to hug you and hear your sweet voice!
And thank You, Jesus, for answering this girls prayer!
So, if I could link with my phone I would. But I am not that brilliant. Go see Linda at www.growinwithit.blogspot.com
-- Post From My iPhone
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Philippians 1:6
"being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."
I am so thankful for this verse. So short. So simple.
So full of His promise.
No matter the age-two, 12, 37, 56, 95...you accept Jesus, He has started a good work in you and He is going to carry out that good work.
I was 14 when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I was on a school bus with a bunch of other kids my age that I had just recently met. A youth group. Soon to be my favorite group of people for the next fours and then some.
We were on our way home from David's Hangar, a place for youth. I don't remember what we did there, I only remember the trip home.
I know that in those few short weeks since I'd started going to church, I felt a peace I had never known before. And that evening I decided that maybe, just maybe it was from this church stuff. So, sitting there, in a seat by myself (i think David Pillers was behind me and Linds across from me) I quietly prayed that Jesus would save me.
And He did.
In the last 15 years I have not once worked for my salvation. I have done just the opposite so many times. I have failed Him, but He's never failed me. I spent a few years running. I did everything I could to forget the Jesus Who loved me. I avoided church, I spoke less with my Christian friends and made new friends. Friends that didn't know Jesus and if they did (like myself) they were running too.
I will spare you details (for now) but basically, Philippians 1:6 is how I see my life. He started a good work in me and though I tried my darndest to make Him love me less and let me go, He kept His promise.
And now the real reason for this post.
Monday evening we stopped in Post Falls for dinner at a rest area and to let the girls play for a bit.
By the time we left it was time to set up beds and get the girls bunked down for the night.
Sugar asked if we could read from her Bible.
She picks which book of the bible she wants to read from by the pictures. She's flipping through and sees Jesus carrying the Cross up a hill.
'Mama, I want to read this one.'
She's looking at the picture. A very simple picture. A Man, a cross and a crown of thorns. There's no blood, no sweat, no crowds yelling, spitting or mocking.
But the picture touches her heart.
Pointing to the crown of thorns, she asks, 'Does that hurt Him? Does that hurt Jesus?'
I tell her yes, it hurts Him very bad and makes Him bleed.
'Is that cross heavy for Him?'
I am amazed at what she thinks about.
'Yes, that cross is heavy.'
'Well then, maybe Daddy can carry it for him!'
Oh, sweet girl.
We spend the next few minutes talking about why Jesus died. To save us from our sins, He died so we could go to Heaven and live with Him forever.
'Yeah! Forever!' she says so excitedly.
She tells me, 'God is in our hearts, right Mama?'
'Well, after we ask Him into our hearts, yes.'
'Okay, I will! I want to!'
And so, in the sleeper of a 1997 Peterbilt, I prayed with my sweet almost four year old and she asked Jesus into her heart.
'Can I tell Daddy?' and she jumps up and tells Josh how Jesus died on a cross but He's alive and in our hearts.
And I think my heart has never been more full.
She's not yet four. She has a whole lotta life waiting for her. Temptations of this world. Sometimes it's so easy to turn your back on the Truth. But I cling to not only Philippians 1:6 but Proverbs 22:6 as well.
'Train up a child in the way he (or she) should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.'
We're raising her to know Jesus. But there will come a day when she'll need to find a faith outside of ours. A faith in Jesus all her own.
And Monday night was just her beginning.
-- Post From My iPhone
I am so thankful for this verse. So short. So simple.
So full of His promise.
No matter the age-two, 12, 37, 56, 95...you accept Jesus, He has started a good work in you and He is going to carry out that good work.
I was 14 when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I was on a school bus with a bunch of other kids my age that I had just recently met. A youth group. Soon to be my favorite group of people for the next fours and then some.
We were on our way home from David's Hangar, a place for youth. I don't remember what we did there, I only remember the trip home.
I know that in those few short weeks since I'd started going to church, I felt a peace I had never known before. And that evening I decided that maybe, just maybe it was from this church stuff. So, sitting there, in a seat by myself (i think David Pillers was behind me and Linds across from me) I quietly prayed that Jesus would save me.
And He did.
In the last 15 years I have not once worked for my salvation. I have done just the opposite so many times. I have failed Him, but He's never failed me. I spent a few years running. I did everything I could to forget the Jesus Who loved me. I avoided church, I spoke less with my Christian friends and made new friends. Friends that didn't know Jesus and if they did (like myself) they were running too.
I will spare you details (for now) but basically, Philippians 1:6 is how I see my life. He started a good work in me and though I tried my darndest to make Him love me less and let me go, He kept His promise.
And now the real reason for this post.
Monday evening we stopped in Post Falls for dinner at a rest area and to let the girls play for a bit.
By the time we left it was time to set up beds and get the girls bunked down for the night.
Sugar asked if we could read from her Bible.
She picks which book of the bible she wants to read from by the pictures. She's flipping through and sees Jesus carrying the Cross up a hill.
'Mama, I want to read this one.'
She's looking at the picture. A very simple picture. A Man, a cross and a crown of thorns. There's no blood, no sweat, no crowds yelling, spitting or mocking.
But the picture touches her heart.
Pointing to the crown of thorns, she asks, 'Does that hurt Him? Does that hurt Jesus?'
I tell her yes, it hurts Him very bad and makes Him bleed.
'Is that cross heavy for Him?'
I am amazed at what she thinks about.
'Yes, that cross is heavy.'
'Well then, maybe Daddy can carry it for him!'
Oh, sweet girl.
We spend the next few minutes talking about why Jesus died. To save us from our sins, He died so we could go to Heaven and live with Him forever.
'Yeah! Forever!' she says so excitedly.
She tells me, 'God is in our hearts, right Mama?'
'Well, after we ask Him into our hearts, yes.'
'Okay, I will! I want to!'
And so, in the sleeper of a 1997 Peterbilt, I prayed with my sweet almost four year old and she asked Jesus into her heart.
'Can I tell Daddy?' and she jumps up and tells Josh how Jesus died on a cross but He's alive and in our hearts.
And I think my heart has never been more full.
She's not yet four. She has a whole lotta life waiting for her. Temptations of this world. Sometimes it's so easy to turn your back on the Truth. But I cling to not only Philippians 1:6 but Proverbs 22:6 as well.
'Train up a child in the way he (or she) should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.'
We're raising her to know Jesus. But there will come a day when she'll need to find a faith outside of ours. A faith in Jesus all her own.
And Monday night was just her beginning.
-- Post From My iPhone
Friday, May 22, 2009
Resigned
I've said it before.
Growing up all ever wanted was to be a wife and mama.
When I had Sugar all was right in my world. Beyond thrilled to be a mama.
I'd been a wife for seven years and now the second part of my dream had come true.
Very early on we could see that lil Sugar was Miss Independent. She slept in her crib, through the night at just five weeks old. She preferred to go to bed while still awake and fall asleep on her own.
No rocking, please.
Another thing we noticed early on, and anyone who has seen the two of them together could tell you-Sugar has a very special relationship with her daddy.
I don't have the words to express how thankful, how blessed I am, to see that.
Are you sensing a 'but....' comin' on?
=)
But it's hard. So early on I have felt she doesn't need me. And lately, I have felt she doesn't even WANT me. Her attitude, tone of voice and the looks...
I feel resentment from her.
Yet the girl loves on her daddy.
I don't know what to do.
My heart aches. A couple of weeks ago we were driving (what's new, right?) and she just had such attitude with me. I didn't know what to do. I sat her in my lap, held her and the tears came in torrents.
Silent tears.
But if the breaking of my heart were audible, it'd be deafening.
I guess the reason I share this very private pain, that's no longer very private, is because I need prayer and wisdom.
It's a daily, no-hourly thing to hear the enemy whisper in my ear that I am a failure as a mother, should never have been a mother, and that, in fact-Sugar does NOT need me and would be better off without me.
But this pain and these thoughts are starting to be too much.
-- Post From My iPhone
Growing up all ever wanted was to be a wife and mama.
When I had Sugar all was right in my world. Beyond thrilled to be a mama.
I'd been a wife for seven years and now the second part of my dream had come true.
Very early on we could see that lil Sugar was Miss Independent. She slept in her crib, through the night at just five weeks old. She preferred to go to bed while still awake and fall asleep on her own.
No rocking, please.
Another thing we noticed early on, and anyone who has seen the two of them together could tell you-Sugar has a very special relationship with her daddy.
I don't have the words to express how thankful, how blessed I am, to see that.
Are you sensing a 'but....' comin' on?
=)
But it's hard. So early on I have felt she doesn't need me. And lately, I have felt she doesn't even WANT me. Her attitude, tone of voice and the looks...
I feel resentment from her.
Yet the girl loves on her daddy.
I don't know what to do.
My heart aches. A couple of weeks ago we were driving (what's new, right?) and she just had such attitude with me. I didn't know what to do. I sat her in my lap, held her and the tears came in torrents.
Silent tears.
But if the breaking of my heart were audible, it'd be deafening.
I guess the reason I share this very private pain, that's no longer very private, is because I need prayer and wisdom.
It's a daily, no-hourly thing to hear the enemy whisper in my ear that I am a failure as a mother, should never have been a mother, and that, in fact-Sugar does NOT need me and would be better off without me.
But this pain and these thoughts are starting to be too much.
-- Post From My iPhone
Monday, May 18, 2009
When the Flips Were a Flop
Last week we unloaded some pipe in Pocatello, ID. I googled the nearest Starbucks to my location and found that it was only a mile away.
Spice was sleeping and Josh was unloading, so I thought it'd be some good Mama/Sugar time, along with good exercise.
The morning was beautiful and we set out on our walk.
Both of us wearing flip flops.
Neither of us realizing that wasn't such a hot idea.
Within five minutes Sugar wants to be "helded" because her feet were tired.
I helded her because there will come a day, all too soon, where she does not want to be helded anymore.
We continued for awhile like that until my back couldn't take it anymore and then down she went to walk beside me.
She complained about her feet hurting so I told her she could take her flips off. This was okay until we had to cross a busy highway. Then back on the shoes went.
My flips had rubbed an ugly blister on my right foot, so after we got our coffee and left the store, I took my flips off too.
Oh, mercy!
We fueled up that evening and were awarded a free shower and one free dinner. You spend 600 bucks on fuel and waa laa!
After my shower my blister was raw and extremely painful. I had no other shoes with me last week. It's after Feb. 1st, all I wear until the first snow is flips.
Josh offered to trade me shoes until we got back to the truck. He's sweet like that. He looked ridiculous and hilarious. But it was just to the truck, right?
Um, no.
We got side tracked with free dinner and wound up in a restaurant full of other truckers.
Truckers that weren't wearing their wives' flip flops.
Josh is such a good sport. He didn't care.
This week I have a pair of tennies in case I need to make another long trek for my coffee.
Or an outhouse.
-- Post From My iPhone
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Dear Mr. Weekend
It was nice to see you even if it was for such a short time.
We met so early on Friday morning that I thought our weekend was going to be GREAT. Ohhh how I didn't realize what was in store.
Friday night we (you Mr. Weekend and my dear hubs) were to go on a date but the children prevented such fun and we had to stay home and cook. Friday night also provided some not so quiet time with my mother. Only she can make me laugh that hard.
We got up early, Mr. Weekend, as we had many things to get accomplished before BFF's shindig at noon.
We raced around like chickens with our heads cut off. Me, making one dozen breakfast burritos. A half dozen egg mcmuffin sandwiches, and a bajillion french toast sticks to put in the freezer. While the hubs was playing with and answering questions of the children (5 of them) and fixing sprinkler pipes.
The joys of home ownership.
After free lunch and booze, I mean...a 6th birthday party, we were headed home to see you, Mr. Weekend, only to find that the trailers holding our 60,000 lb load of lumber had sunk into the ground.
Oh, Mr. Weekend, if you could have been there for those three hours in the hot sun while my amazing in-laws spent their afternoon giving of themselves (as usual) and how my children sat in my van while it idled for those three hours, playing and having fun. While my husband and his dad worked jacks this way and that way, with smiles on their faces as sweat poured off their heads.
After those three hours of intense labor, we got the trailers out.
And we headed home with thankful hearts. Thankful to God that we were able to fix the problem without damage, thankful for my in-laws who, without fail, are there to help at the drop of a hat.
Mr. Weekend, I want to be like them when (if) I grow up.
We went home to cook more meals, fix more pipes, play with more children. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Today is Sunday, your last day here, Mr. Weekend, and I'm sad to see you go. Time at home is insane and so short but I enjoy it. We went to church this morning and loved every minute there. We came home to get the truck cleaned up, laundry complete, another meal made, kitchen cleaned, baby pool filled and played in before we headed back to church for a concert.
And now, Mr. Weekend it's 10:30 and my children are snoring in the sleeper, my husband is filling the truck with diesel and we have to make a service call to fix one of the tires on the trailer that has cords showing through the tread.
We have a five hour drive tonight that will likely take us seven with the service call.
Goodnight, Mr. Weekend, see you in five days!
-- Post From My iPhone
We met so early on Friday morning that I thought our weekend was going to be GREAT. Ohhh how I didn't realize what was in store.
Friday night we (you Mr. Weekend and my dear hubs) were to go on a date but the children prevented such fun and we had to stay home and cook. Friday night also provided some not so quiet time with my mother. Only she can make me laugh that hard.
We got up early, Mr. Weekend, as we had many things to get accomplished before BFF's shindig at noon.
We raced around like chickens with our heads cut off. Me, making one dozen breakfast burritos. A half dozen egg mcmuffin sandwiches, and a bajillion french toast sticks to put in the freezer. While the hubs was playing with and answering questions of the children (5 of them) and fixing sprinkler pipes.
The joys of home ownership.
After free lunch and booze, I mean...a 6th birthday party, we were headed home to see you, Mr. Weekend, only to find that the trailers holding our 60,000 lb load of lumber had sunk into the ground.
Oh, Mr. Weekend, if you could have been there for those three hours in the hot sun while my amazing in-laws spent their afternoon giving of themselves (as usual) and how my children sat in my van while it idled for those three hours, playing and having fun. While my husband and his dad worked jacks this way and that way, with smiles on their faces as sweat poured off their heads.
After those three hours of intense labor, we got the trailers out.
And we headed home with thankful hearts. Thankful to God that we were able to fix the problem without damage, thankful for my in-laws who, without fail, are there to help at the drop of a hat.
Mr. Weekend, I want to be like them when (if) I grow up.
We went home to cook more meals, fix more pipes, play with more children. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Today is Sunday, your last day here, Mr. Weekend, and I'm sad to see you go. Time at home is insane and so short but I enjoy it. We went to church this morning and loved every minute there. We came home to get the truck cleaned up, laundry complete, another meal made, kitchen cleaned, baby pool filled and played in before we headed back to church for a concert.
And now, Mr. Weekend it's 10:30 and my children are snoring in the sleeper, my husband is filling the truck with diesel and we have to make a service call to fix one of the tires on the trailer that has cords showing through the tread.
We have a five hour drive tonight that will likely take us seven with the service call.
Goodnight, Mr. Weekend, see you in five days!
-- Post From My iPhone
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