For five nights now I've tossed and turned. The turning part isn't so easy lately since my belly gets in the way. Here are some random thoughts that can keep a girl awake even when she's dead tired.
-did I love on Jaylee enough today?
-gas prices, holy heck, I'm so tired of the money spent on gas.
-my house has been clean for over a week. Really clean. It's really weird. I know that normal people keep a clean house all the time, me...not so much. My mom says I'm nesting, I'd like to think I'm finally growing up and taking responsibility for my home.
-the closet we'll be building in the kids' room (man, it's weird to have kid be in plural, I'm going to have two of them soon!) I keep designing the inside of the closet over and over in my head.
-sugar. My midwife told me I need to cut back on my sugar intake. That's rough. This morning I had to ask the Lord to help me get through my bowl of cereal without sugar.
-our Beagle. We're leaving for the weekend and she can't go. No one wants to keep her for us and I can't say as I blame 'em. I can't stand her either. But I'm panicking because we leave in a few hours and I've yet to know what to do with her. Thinking a trip to the pound....(just kidding, Melinda)
-embarrassment over having things others don't. I've been feeling guilty over what I have. Is this right? Is this the enemy just pestering me?
-two kids? Really? What were we thinking? Jaylee is two and a half. And lately she's been showing her true colors. Everyone tells me it's her age, she'll get passed it. But is being two really an excuse or am I failing to train her properly? How can I have another if I can't control the first?
-my dad. Sometimes I just get sad thinking about him. I really need to grow up.
-weight gain. I gained 58 lbs while pregnant with Jaylee and I didn't lose all of it. Starting to panic over that, so far I've only gained a couple this time around.
-friendships. Am I a good friend? Am I letting people down? Should I continue to make an effort with those that don't reciprocate? Honestly, I get tired of being the one to make the effort but I love my friendships and don't want them to end just because I got tired of being the one to call or whatever. How petty am I!?
-am I enjoying serving my husband? Does he know that even though I hate to do dishes, I'm thankful for the money he provides our family so I can buy the groceries to make the meals that make those dishes dirty?
-our 10 year anniversary is coming. Would it be weird to renew our wedding vows?
-labor and delivery. Pushing Jaylee out was a breeze, I had stomach muscles then. However, they've been cut since then, how will this next one find a way out!?
That's just a few of the things I have been mulling around at night. It's making me overwhelmed. I love to sleep and hate that I haven't been able to.
And on a very random side note, Happy Greysday! A new episode is on tonight! Woo hoo!
3 comments:
My dear sweet girl,
You are being attacked all the way around. If it's not from God...well you know the rest of that, and He wouldn't keep you up for those reasons. To pray yes, but not to worry so much. Face it, you ARE grown up. And with that comes worry, also pregnancy doesn't help matters. I'm very proud of you in all you do. You are a wonderful wife, mother, daughter (to your dad also), sister, and friend. Give your thoughts to Jesus at night before sleep. He will hold you in His strong capable arms all night.
I love you, Mama
I do that too. It takes me forever to fall asleep. Derek's head hits the pillow and he's asleep. I usually just pray that the Lord would calm my mind and thoughts and anything that is important He would help me remember it tomorrow. I'll be praying for you!
hope you have a relaxing weekend!
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