So, I may have mentioned yesterday that I need a number done on my heart.
Stat.
And man, does God deliver!
You would think sleeping in my own bed would mean that I'd get a good night of rest.
Not so.
When you're filled with guilt and frustration and anger and self pity, you no sleepy berry well.
This morning when I finally pulled myself from bed at 5 am, I opened up the Bible my mom has in the house.
A couple of weeks ago Josh had given me some verses that he really had been clinging to, to know that we are doing what the Lord wants us to do as far helping my mom and sister.
Reading them this morning, begging the Lord to just please fix me, He opened my eyes and my heart to these verses in a new way.
"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion-how can God's love be in that person? Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will stand confident before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:16-20 NLT
Hellooo, Sarah.
I know what real love is. I need to extend it.
I kept wrestling with the Lord this morning (funny picture, huh) and kept telling Him how this was all going to change and how my stuff won't be my stuff and my house won't be my house and waaaaaaa!
And He so gently pointed out that yes there will be change. Yes, this is my stuff. Yes, this is my house. But He gave it to me. He allowed me to have this amazing house and stuff. Ultimately, this house and all that's in it are not mine.
It's all His.
Everything that I have, everything that I am...I want to glorify Him. I've been awful at that.
I want to change that.
So, here I am. Feeling this amazing weight lifted off my shoulders, off my heart. It feels so good. I don't even have words to describe it! For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling JOY!
Am I naive enough to think it's all going to be a breeze from here on out? Not so much. But now that I'm seeing this with a different perspective, it's making things a bit easier. The Lord sees me as...this Beautiful Mess. He's working on my mess.
And I think there's a little bit of progress goin' on.
8 comments:
Amazing how a PEACE that passes UNDERSTANDING can still be communicated to others! I delight in His work in and unto you ... which is ultimately unto "others" and back unto Him!! Oh, He's so awesome!
I'm so glad you've received some insight and are feeling at peace with your circumstances! Way to be listening when God's trying to speak, girl!
Wonderful Sarah. See, this is why I love your blog! You share real life with us and how the Lord works in your heart. Thanks for sharing this.
That, my friend, was beautiful. Funny how Jesus shows up when we ask Him to, huh?
Don't sell yourself short, sister...I think the fact that you WANT to change your attitude goes a long way in showing that you have a teachable heart. The rest will follow when we are just willing.
Totally beautiful! I am so happy that you see God changing your heart and your life...what a wonderful blessing.
Love that version of those verses! Awesome!
Hi Sarah, I tried finding your email address on your blog, I guess I'm just overlooking it. I got my flip flops! thank you SO much!! I had no clue that it took so long to mail something from here to there. If you have not received your package, I hope you get it soon.
Thanks again!
Michelle
Such a wonderful post, Sarah. Praying He continues to whisper to you and give you strength!
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