Since being here the last couple of months my mom, on two different occasions has said how we have a lot of stuff. I don't think she meant is as hurtful but I was taken aback by it both times.
Hurt.
Guarded.
But she's right. We do have a lot of stuff. Some of it may actually be something else that starts with S that doesn't end in tuff but more like hit.
Ahem.
Growing up we moved a lot. And since we were never in one place for very long, it was easy to not accumulate sh, err..stuff.
And since she still moves around a lot, she still doesn't accumulate stuff. In fact, every time she moves, she downsizes.
But you see, Josh and I have lived in this house 9.5 years. And we have an unfinished 1100 sq ft. basement.
It begs us to put stuff in it.
And we oblige.
I don't believe I'm anything near those people you see on Oprah or Dr. Phil but I'm realizing that I do have a tendency to hoard things.
And I don't know if it stems from not being able to keep things while growing up or if it's just because I'm a freakin' pack rat. (I almost said pack mule) =)
I'm not the only one though, my husband is collector as well. (like how I changed it from hoarder to collector? makes me feel better.)
He collects things like tools, scrap metal, engines, oil, screws, camping equipment, and life jackets. But I suppose we shouldn't get rid of those life jackets, huh? Since ya just never know...
I'm more of a collector of household goods, scrapbook supplies, my girls' baby clothes and size 2 jeans and size small shirts. Because SOMEDAY my goodness I WILL wear them again!!!
Today though, I am getting ready for my mom and the kids to return. I have been sleeping in her room all week because it's quite warm upstairs and it's crowded up there. So, I'm getting laundry done and realizing how many clothes we have, how many toys we have, how many of everything we have. And that's not including that basement down there!
So, the girls and I went upstairs today and I started going through all.of.our.clothes.
Heavens.
Man, we have a lot of clothes. Josh actually probably has the most, with Spice coming in at a close second. Sugar has clothes but not many that fit her. Her birthday is coming, so I'm not out buying her much for summer clothes just yet. I have the least amount of clothes...that fit. In the basement I have a tub (possibly two) full of clothes from my glory days. The days of being a size 2. I hold on to those clothes. And that's not right. It's quite obvious I have issues with them.
Serious issues. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be that size again. So why have I kept them these last four years?
I don't know.
It's time. It's time they go. I don't know if I'm going to try to eBay them or if I should just donate 'em.
Another area I collect, is scrapbook supplies. I have myself a love for all things paper, acrylics, accessories, and more paper. I've talked many times about doing away with all of it. But I've invested a few grand, literally, in scrapbook supplies and I just can't let it go. At least not right now. So, I've made the decision to just not buy any more. Not until I feel like I've used what I have. Such a hard decision.
While upstairs cleaning this morning I told Sugar we were going to go through her toys. I sat her down and explained to her that many children do not have toys and that we were very blessed to have all the toys we do. I told her the things we'd be keeping for sure, like her Hot Wheels and her books but that she was going to need to pick out three things to keep and the rest would be given to other little kids. At first her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly regained her composure.
She chose her Noah's Ark toy.
It comes with the Ark and 592 other little pieces.
She's quick.
After that she picked her tea cup set that Amber gave her for her Christmas.
It comes with 327 little pieces.
Smart kid I have.
She couldn't decide on her third item. So we went outside for a bit, then made lunch and now they are down for naps.
I've been in the process throughout writing out this post, of switching laundry, doing dishes, ironing and going through the clothes. Whether clothes fit the girls or not, I'm not going to be keeping all that we have. I'll keep all of Spice's new clothes from her birthday (she got a ton!) and I'll keep out some play clothes, a probably five nicer outfits. But the rest needs to go. Shoes included. Sugar has quite a few pair(s?) most of which do not fit (too big) but I keep them, thinking, someday she'll fit into them. I need to realize that the Lord provides for all of our needs and I don't need to be hoarding shoes that won't fit her until she's 8.
This is a hard thing.
The last hard thing I'm dealing with. The hardest thing.
And unless you have this same addiction, you just won't get it and I don't expect anyone to, I just don't want to be made to feel any sillier than I already do.
It's my coffee habit.
It costs me, on average $120 a month to drink coffee. Rather, it costs me $120 a month to drink Starbucks coffee.
I had said at the beginning of the week that I wouldn't have it this week. I even bought Folgers to make myself some home brew but not once did I make it.
Josh asked me today how it was going with the whole coffee deal. I got defensive. And shortly after we hung up.
He called later to apologize.
Are you kidding me, why was HE apologizing. He said he felt bad leaving things on a negative note while he's away. Man, he's amazing. He said the coffee thing was my deal, that he was glad I could have it and that it was a choice I needed to make.
The only reason I went today was because I was lonely and bored and at Starbucks they like me and I run into people from town that I know and I get some social interaction!!!
Whew, I'm outta breath over that.
Honestly though. Even though somehow I afford it every month, I shouldn't. And it's become a habit instead of a treat.
Sorry, this is super long post of America. Just (quite) a few things I needed to get out there. You know, for some accountability I suppose.
10 comments:
I like my sh..err, stuff :) We have ne Starbucks here :(
Well after recently moving 7.5 years worth of stuff out of one home and preparing to move it into another house I hear you on the hoarding thing...
Why am I keeping my notes from Geology 101, 102 & 103?? Why am I keeping my dress from Homecoming 1992? Why do I still have a mug from Junior prom with dried rose petals from what I assume must have been part of my corsage??
Seriously...there has already been some major sorting and cleaning out but there will be another round as I start to unpack and put away our "stuff" at the new house.
Can't help you on the Starbucks thing either...same issue :) Luckily I'm too lazy to get up early enough to both go to Starbucks and get to work on time so that helps out there a little...heehee:)
I understand your stuff issue. We moved into our new 4 bedroom house and filled it. TWO PEOPLE FILLED THE WHOLE THING! I'm not sure where we will put children when we have them, so far we haven't filled the shed out back, maybe they can live there...I considered throwing out the 6 boxes in the basement that we haven't unpacked since we moved in, but then I realized it was all Bryce's stuff and that would not go over well.
I love that you told Sugar that you needed to give toys to other kids who didn't have any. I remember my mom doing the same thing and I thought it was really cool to give my not-so-favorite toys to some kid who would love them!
You're movin' in the right direction ... and remember FREEDOM is it's own reason and motivation!!
I think it's great to get rid of things that you really don't need if you can't or won't use them. It can feel so liberating - I should really use this as inspration to get rid of my own size 4 clothes!I'm a little surprised your mom would say anything though, considering how graciously you opened your home to them.
I don't think you owe anyone any apologies for your Starbucks and I don't see why you should give it up forever (although I applaud the effort giving it up for this week, I know how hard that can be!). If that's your little indulgence, then Josh is right, you should have it and be happy.
Well Sarah.....you know that I completely understand the coffee thing and the weight thing both; and I know exactly what ya mean about spending money on frilly coffees (a lot of money)when there are so many people (including my family)that could use that money in other areas/needs. I am with ya girl! Never thought I would be a yo-yo-er since I was always able to eat/drink whatever I wanted until kids...but I can't deny it anymore. Anyway, just wanted you to know that you are NOT ALONE in these battles.
Luvs!
Girl, I have the same problem. I'm a hoarder, a pack rat (mule - that cracked me up). I learned it from the best - a double dose from both my mom and dad. I'm working through my issues, too!
I don't have the coffee addiction, but I do have a coke (coca-cola) addiction. While it's not quite as expensive, it's still not good for me and I'm sure has contributed in many ways to the 50 pounds I've gained in the last 8 years! I'm slowly working through those issues, too ;o)
Whew! It's so nice to know that I am not alone with my stuff issue! =)
Karmella, hi! Not sure you've left a comment before and I'm so excited you did, especially since you think I should continue my Starbucks. I love enablers! ;)
But really, in my mom's defense, I know she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. I think it was just surprising to her to sit at the bottom step of our basement and see tons and tons of tubs full of things we don't use and she moved like 4.2 boxes in and that was it. All her stuff in just a few boxes.
I'm not a huge 'collector', infact I tend to toss even important stuff but I'm soooo with you on the Starbucks thing.
I bought different beans for our home brewing, in an attempt to help cut costs. OMG, that was nasty stuff.
As for the 'going out' to Starbucks. It's not just coffee, we count it as ministry too! Cuz, like you say, we run into so many people and socialize/minister! So it doesn't look TOO bad in the budget! ;)
Cleaning! Ironing! Dishes! Who adopted Sarah and who is this other lady!.....Amazing Grace How Sweet The Sound That Saved A Wretch Like Thee (not me)lol! Joking aside.
Awesome changes, and you know me: I don't give compliments when not deserved. Keep up the good work!...Ya know, old oil can be used for many things!
Yours Truly,
Tony
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