Monday, August 25, 2008

The Move from Montana

Most heard phrase this weekend, "I wish I were dead."

Kinda sums up the weekend. :)

Crazy stinkin' trip that's all I gotta say.

We arrived in Butte, Montana at about 1 a.m. My lovely children had slept most of the way and thought it'd be fun to be awake after the trip.

We didn't get much sleep that night.

The plan was to load all of their belongings on Saturday and leave early Sunday morning. My husband gets this brilliant idea to load their stuff and take off. It's supposed to be about an 8-9 hour drive.

But, when you have six adults, five children (3 and under) two dogs, and four vehicles (2 of which get terrible mileage) an 8 hour trip turns into 11.

OH MY SOUL.

The kids, I must say, were amazing. My sister's kids aren't used to such long drives, so I was quite impressed that they did so well. I drove my sister's van with my mom, sister and three of the kids. Josh had Jaylee with him and my BIL had their youngest. And my very wonderful FIL came with us, so he drove his truck and the biggest trailer.

The trip went great, for the most part...

Dear Girl in the convertible BMW who flashed my husband,

Did you even think about what you were doing? A man with his little girl with him and you lift your shirt?! Your actions were repulsive. That man is a husband. He has a wife. He doesn't need to see you and all that you "offered". Wouldn't you rather save that body of yours for your own husband, instead of sharing for the entire freeway? Disgusting. Uncalled for. I have no more words for you.

Seriously. My knuckles were white. I was shaking. I was crying. I was beyond mad. What right did that girl have to do that?!

I was gently reminded (thank You, Lord) that I have been that foolish girl.

Before I was informed.

Before I realized what something like that does to a man.

Images like that, showing your body to a man...that's stuck there. They can't erase it. As much as the may want to, they can't. Men are different from women. Yes, we may think a guy has a nice body. But usually, for most women, that's that. We don't have those images flash back in our mind. We don't stand at the kitchen sink, doing dishes and remember that guy from a week ago who had a nice rear. Men...men remember. That's the way they tick.

It's not wrong. That's how they were created. But it's our responsibility as women to dress and act appropriately so as not to make a man stumble.

That girl who flashed my husband...her actions...not so appropriate. Not at all.

Anyway, off my soapbox.

We got my sister moved. We got them unloaded.

They are officially back in WA!!!




After the laundry

dishes and other housework is done, I'll fill you in on our trip to Montana.

It was a good trip but we're glad to be home and so glad to finally have Derek, Erica and the kids back in WA.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Dear Diary Entry 3

I thought it would be fun today to find my diary from high school and copy what I'd written from August 21st. Yeah, not so much. Too much junk about some dumb boy I liked waaay too much, a pretty unhealthy deal. I think I embarrass myself enough on my blog, I don't need to make it worse! :) It's amazing how much has changed since then.

Dear Diary,

Another week has come and gone. We leave for Montana tomorrow and I've completely procrastinated on everything I should have done before our trip.

Procrastinating is huge for me. Should be my middle name.

I really need to start organizing my life a little better. It's amazing how much peace I have when things are organized, when I have my priorities in line.

I've been in awe of my husband these last few days. It just amazes me how much he loves my family. I know I'd do anything for his family, too, but he's putting his love for them into action. The work he's done is incredible. Tonight I'm planning a special dinner for him after the girls go to bed. Just the two of us. Should be fun.

I've been trying to spend more quality time with Jaylee and I really feel that's helping our relationship. It's easy to think that I spend time with her since I'm here all day with her but that's not necessarily the case. It's easy to get wrapped up in dishes, laundry, vacuuming, blogging, Alison, and just not spend the time with her that she needs.

Yesterday, I laid on her bedroom floor with her and we were coloring. A little while into it, she starts to pray, "Thank You, Lord for the coloring. Thank You, Lord for the fun. Thank You, Lord for Shadow. Amen."

So sweet. I love her heart.






Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Woot Woot!

Sister has a house!

They wouldn't have been homeless; I offered for them to live here.

Guess the idea of 4 adults and 5 children, three and under didn't appeal to them.

Fancy that.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

What to do what to do...

Sigh...

It's been a very long day. A very long, unproductive day.

My least favorite kind.

It's after 10 pm and my husband is still at my in-laws in the rain, trying to figure out how to put a small pickup and trailer on a flatbed trailer that we're towing to Montana in three days. He tried every which way, to the point I decided a small UHaul trailer was going to be a must. My man never gave up. It's going to look a little crazy but he managed to get 'em up there. Thankfully, as that will save us about 125 bucks in gas.

We move my sister in three days. Have I mentioned she has no home yet to move into? Crazy, huh? I know the Lord is just stretching it out as long as possible just for funsies. He's kicking back with popcorn, all the while knowing He has the perfect house just waiting for them. Why show them early when He can wait til the last possible second? Because He's God, He can get away with that kinda stuff. :)

I'm struggling right now. Having a heart issue I suppose. Today I was utterly frustrated with my car. My car that turned 199,000 miles on it today. My list is long for all the reasons I hate her. I know I should love her. She at least gets me to and fro. But I still can't stand her. Right now she sounds like she has a turbo. When I accelerate it sounds like I'm a plane on a runway. It's great. And just this morning she started some sort of flapping noise. Hmmph.

Since the rig to the right hasn't sold we're considering trading her in. I went to a dealership today and fell in love. A vehicle with cupholders! My $4 coffees wouldn't spill!

Josh hasn't seen her yet but he's heard enough about her today to know how much I love her. Since it's been a busy evening, we haven't had much time to discuss it. There are pros and there are cons.

The biggest con being we'd have vehicle payments again. A small one but a payment's a payment.

The biggest pro being...it has CUPHOLDERS!!! Okay, so that's not the biggest pro but it's a pretty good one! A perk is that it only has 18,000 miles on it. I really like that part. And it's red. Ohhh how I love me a red rig.

So, I guess we'll see.

I go look at another house tomorrow for Erica. I love doing this. It's one of my favorite things to go looking at houses. Maybe because we've been in ours for 9 years and I'm sure I'll shrivel and die here, so it's fun to see other stuff.

Please pray this place works out and that there's no application process, as of tomorrow, we'll have only FOUR days til they're back in Washington.

Mt. Rainier








It's okay when you're three

Josh took Jaylee to the parts store tonight.

He comes home with this story...

"So, I think it's a good thing Jaylee's not a little older or she may have been embarrassed by what happened tonight. We leave the store and she wants to race to the truck. As we're running, her skirt falls to her ankles."

Yes, yes it's good she's three and not 13.

Then it would have been tragic instead of hilarious.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Is it really considered camping...

if you get a shower every night and have electricity?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But this last weekend was my kinda campin' I tell ya!

Josh's parents went up to Mt. Rainier last weekend and then Josh and the girls and I went up on Thursday to take over the campsite. They let us keep their fifth wheel and let me just tell you, it was glorious.

It's so easy to take Mt. Rainier for granted since I can see it out my living room window and it's only a two hour drive to actually be at the mountain itself.

I don't have pictures to show today since I'm the only person left on earth without a digital camera. Hopefully I'll get up to Yakima again today to get them developed.

Anyway.

We spent four days and three nights in a fifth wheel, with a toilet (unlike the days when I actually had to live in a fifth wheel and use a McDonald's happy meal bucket....) (now those were the days) and a shower.

Friday we drove into Enumclaw for some necessities, like baby wipes because I've never had a baby before or anything and somehow forgot to pack them...and a 3.99 bottle of wine, because I'm high class like that, and coffee creamer...because my husband is a crabby man should he have coffee with no creamer. Oh, and so I could get a Starbucks fix. So, yeah, we were pretty ridiculous, drive two hours to be at the mountain and then drive another 40 minutes so we can get our city fix.

Saturday, not a good time was had by all. And by all, I mean me. We went for a hike. I don't like to hike. I'm more of a one to two mile kinda hiker, if I must hike. Husband thought he should push my buttons and make me hike for six. Yes, six! With a baby and a three year old.

Sorry, friends, I'm just not hard core like that. I much prefer sitting by a fire, playing cards, eating too much, and being too loud after quiet time in the campground. That, to me is priceless.

Instead, I was one unhappy lady. I didn't moan and groan at the time. I knew I could save it up to share with you. :)

There was one plus to the hike.

My tattoo that I have on my left arm...it's in Chinese. And ever since I got it, I've been scared that it reads, "Smells like cow patties." Instead of, "to mourn my father."

'Cause with tattoo parlors, ya just never know.

So, we're hiking and we see a group of Chinese people. I'm trying to have Josh walk on my left side so that way they can't see my arm. He wasn't understanding my sudden closeness and moved away from me. We stopped to talk with them and one of the girls asks what my arm says.

I brilliantly came up with this line....

"Uhhhh...."

She asked if something happened to my dad. And then confirms what it says.

Oh YAY! It doesn't say anything ridiculous! So, even though I'd rather not have the tattoo where it is (I've been considering having it removed) I'm glad to know it actually says what I thought it did.

Back to camping...

After the hike from H-E-double hockey sticks, we all crashed for about an hour. Then had dinner. Then went down by the water to watch the sun set on the mountain.

We left for home yesterday morning and came home to 100+ degree heat. Bluuuhhck!

Luckily it was only 80 in our house when we got here. My house is a train wreck at the moment and I think the maid called in sick because she hasn't shown up yet today. She's fired...

Guess I better get to work in her place then.

Hopefully I'll have pictures of our trip to show tomorrow.

Have a great Monday!!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dear Diary Entry 2

Dear Diary,



Sigh.



We watched some home videos last night. We only watched a few minutes of one. It was from December. And Jaylee seems so little. She was dancing around and being silly. There was a Veggie Tale playing in the background. She actually looked chubby in the face. She's nowhere near chubby now!



Gone are those chubby little cheeks. She's long and lean. And growing so quickly. I was bawling through the video.



Not so long ago she was all little and snuggly. She couldn't walk or talk. Or feed herself. I had to change her diapers.



I remember wanting her to reach each milestone early. I wanted her to eat baby food and sit up. I wanted her to crawl and walk and talk.



While she never reached any milestone waaay before her age, looking back, I wish I hadn't wished the time away. I wish I had just taken the time to enjoy where she was. I know I'm not making any sense. I don't really care.



She had such a sweet personality, she loved me and we got along. Now, I feel all we do is butt heads. I feel like she'd rather always be with her daddy.



We're leaving for Mt. Rainier in a couple of hours, so I really have no business writing. I should be getting ready. It's a trip that will be good for us, to get away, have some fun. Just seems that whenever we leave home, someone gets sick. Jaylee and I still aren't feeling well from the last go around and Ali has a runny nose.



Oh, the joys.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

When Having a Cell Phone Would Have been Beneficial

I'm house hunting for my sister.

Yesterday I took my children to see a couple of houses. It was about a 30 minute drive, driving to an area I'm not too familiar with. The directions the guy gave me were flawless. I drove straight to the first house.

And immediately wanted to roll up my windows, lock my doors, and run for my life.

Not the safest part of town folks.

A neighbor lady showed me the place. The house itself-not so bad. I could live there. It was just the neighborhood. It was a lil sketchy.

So, I drive on to the next house on the other side of town. Which actually put me in a different town altogether...

I check out the place. It's nice, she'll probably live there. But as I'm leaving...

I can tell the clutch is about to go out on my car. It just felt a wee bit funny. So, I dug into the reserves of all the things my husband has taught me in 12 years and one of those is how to drive a stick shift without your clutch.

He's pretty cool, I tell you.

And I felt that way, too, after driving around Yakima with no clutch.

I found a payphone, which I tell you are almost extinct in this cell phone day and age. Mind you, it's about 97 degrees outside and I have two small (needy) children. Both of whom are hungry, thirsty, sleepy and crabby...oh, and crying.

I put in my three quarters, yes, three!!! I remember when it was 25 cents to call someone who cared. For seventy-five cents they better care when I call!

The blasted thing ate my money.

I remembered I have a calling card. So, I used it to call Josh. Poor guy was quite worried about me. I felt bad for burdening him with my troubles but I just wanted to know that the car would make it home. He said, "it should." That was comforting.

Across the street from me was a car lot and a cell phone store.

I seriously considered going to both places.

I didn't.

After several rounds of pay phones, trying to reach that girl who I'm house hunting for, I gave up and headed home. I asked the Lord to just puhlease get us home.

He did. And I think He fixed my car while He was at it, because the clutch seems to be working just fine today.

And sister of mine, you know I love you. I only wanted to wring your neck for a little bit. :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Call us Crazy

I'm pretty sure we've fallen off the Normal Wagon, the husband and me.

Josh's grandparents, Nana and Papa, got a new fridge. So, last night we helped them pick it up from Sears and got 'er all set up at their house.

Nana and Papa are two of my most favorite people in all the world. Nana is the lady who politely picked up my piece of chicken that I flung near her plate when I was just 16 and was at Josh's parents for dinner the first time. Oh my how embarrassing...

And Papa is the man who taught me to love some Cribbage.

When we found out I was pregnant with Alison, these two started praying fervently for a boy. There were already four great-granddaughters, they wanted themselves a boy to carry on the name.

Josh and I were just sure the Lord would answer their prayers, seeing as how they're not so young and all and He'd answer the prayers more of the old folks.

We were wrong. May 4th, we added the fifth great-granddaughter. We were seriously scared to call Nana and tell her that the family name would not be continuing...at least not from us. She assured us she was okay with that.

And we believed her.

Til last night.

As we were leaving, she hugs Jaylee, talks some baby talk to Ali and as I'm strapping the girls in she says to me...

"Now it's time for that boy!"

I laughed at her.

Silly crazy lady.

She says, "Now, I don't want to interfere but we'd love a boy in the family."

I continued laughing. Nervously.

Husband comes around the side of the house and she puts an arm around him, to soften him up I'm sure...

"Now Joshua," she starts, "I don't want to interfere."

"Honey, she wants us to have another baby."

He laughs but I'm pretty sure he'd rather not have. Pretty sure the laugh was for Nana's sake.

"Now Nana, I don't know about that. We'll have to see what God says about that."

I'm pretty much wanting to hide, I'm not sure I want to know what God says about that. What if He wants us to have another baby!?

She sends us on our way but I'm pretty sure she's sending up prayers asking the Lord for another great-grandchild, one preferably with boy parts.

We get home. I'm doing dishes. Josh is sitting at the kitchen table.

"Do we want another baby?" He asks while holding our chubby little THREE MONTH OLD.

I whip my head around. I'm torn. Just recently I've been panicking about Ali being our last child. Would I feel our family was complete if it was just the four of us? I've always wanted lots of kids...til I realized how much my body doesn't like to be pregnant.

"I don't know, do we?" Seriously. Torn.

He goes on to remind me of my most recent pregnancy. The puking. Literally all day for four months. Laying on the bathroom floor. Praying for some reprieve. I lost 15 lbs. I liked that part! :) Then, once that subsided, it was the nerve in my back, making it almost impossible to be comfortable. And then the not sleeping from March-May. Oh, who am I kidding...the not sleeping from March until now! And of course there's the part of the giving birth. Which went relatively fast this time around but still how it HURT! Someone should invent drugs so that it doesn't hurt so bad. He doesn't need to remind me of all these things.

It wasn't that long ago. I clearly remember.

But I look into the eyes of my two girls who are worth every minute of puking and laboring.

And I think...yeah, I could do it again.

Monday, August 11, 2008

And we had to pull over...

We were gone for the weekend. The trip was short lived because the girls got sick. Sick as in projectile vomiting sick.

On our five hour drive home, Jaylee got bored.

Bored to the point that she decided being naughty would be more fun than sitting like a good girl.

I turned around and looked at her.

"If you continue that, we'll pull the car over and spank you."

I then looked at Josh, and whispered, "did I really just say that. that's a line our parents used."

From the back, in her carseat...

"Wellll, I want a spankin'."

Oh.my.word. So, Josh pulled over. I couldn't let her get away with that. It was one of the hardest parenting moments I've had.

She tried to call my bluff.

She lost.

Even though I knew I had to show her I wasn't kidding, it was still extremely difficult. Being a parent is the hardest job ever, sometimes!

There are days (like today) that I consider turning in a letter of resignation.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Cannot believe I forgot to tell you

what happened in church on Sunday!

There's been like this amazing baby boom in our church. Thinkin' about 5 or 6 babies were born within 2-3 weeks of each other.

Ali being one of them.

The back row of the sanctuary is dedicated to parents with infants so that we can leave if they get fussy or what have you.

So far Alison had been excellent. She'd nurse when we got to church, stay awake through worship, and then fall asleep as Pastor Tony started to preach (not a sign of his preaching, I promise!)

Ohhh but this last Sunday...

She goes through her routine, eat, listen to worship and service begins. We're listening to Tony read through some Scripture and it's pretty quiet.

Til Ali lets 'er rip.

Uh huh.

She did.

She filled her pants in service.

My word, I thought Josh and I were going to die.

My aunt was sitting in front of us and her whole body starts to shake because she's trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

All the other parents of little ones are smirking and I'm sure praising the Lord it was our baby instead of theirs.

Josh leans over, "uh, Sarah, you may want to leave, you know...in case she does it again."

So, I left the service. My uncle opens the door for me and says, "good one, Sarah."

Riiiight, 'cause it was me.

I just couldn't believe how loud it was. And why she had to wait until it was quiet. Why not during music?

You know, when no one would have been the wiser.

Dear Diary

So, if I were to write in a diary, here's what an entry may look like:



I panicked last night. Ali's three months old already. I picked her up and squeezed her, nuzzling into the rolls of her neck. She squeaked. I can't get enough of her. It amazes me to think that a month ago it was hard to be around her since she cried all the time. Now, she just smiles and gurgles and kicks her feet and throws her arms all around. She's adorable and she melts my heart every time I look at her.


When we sat down to dinner last night, holding hands to pray for our food, Jaylee begins to pray.


"Thank You, Lord, for not whining. Amen."


It was really hard not to bust out laughing. Josh and I smiled at her and said, "Amen." We've really been trying to teach her to not whine and I guess the other night when she was, Josh asked her to talk to Jesus about it.


She's so beautiful. Inside and out. I love her smile and her eyes are so sweet. She has such a sparkle about her and I pray it only gets brighter.


I've been quick tempered lately (what's new, huh?) and my husband has noticed. Two mornings ago he reminded me to speak to Jaylee in love. Made me sad that he had to remind me but I was thankful for his wisdom. Jaylee and I had a better day that day.


It's so easy sometimes to take Josh for granted. He's so faithful to go to work each day and come home to us each evening. I know I need to do better at showing him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him. We have some added expenses this month and he's putting in a lot of overtime to cover those expenses, he works so hard. Never complaining about being tired or overworked.


I love this man.


The other night he pissed me off pretty good. It's hard for me to be upset with him because he's so amazing in so many ways. But...I let myself be mad. And instead of letting the anger build, I decided to tell him. It didn't change what was happening but it felt good to get it off my chest and I was able to continue my evening without being too upset.


Erica is moving back. I'm excited. Too excited. I have all these daydreams that our families will get together every week for dinner and games. I want to plan all this stuff to do. I need to be logical and realize that it probably won't be like in my daydreams. We do have real lives to lead.


I'm tired. I think it's because I'm not doing enough. I notice that the more I do, less I feel tired. I have more energy when I'm up and at 'em, so to speak. I'm so good at making lists of things I need to get done but don't always follow through the best. I need to just do something. Something is better than nothing.

I almost went to a Weight Watchers meeting the other night. I'm sick of these 15 lbs that haunt me on a daily basis. I just can't see paying the 40 bucks a month to go when I lost 35 lbs a few years ago all on my own. It just seems harder now. I don't know why.

My 10 year class reunion is coming up. To go, or not to go...as the girl voted, "Most Likely to be Seen on Jerry Springer" I wouldn't want to disappoint ya know. But it's at a winery, which I'm totally all for...except I'm so much more of a casual kinda girl. I'd rather not have to get dressed up and try to dress in a fashion that I'm so not. I like wine and all but I'm more of a twist-top kinda wine girl! :)

My mother lives closer to us now. I'm enjoying that. We went and saw her last night just for funsies.

I'm not pleased with our small town. Driving through it basically disgusts me. It's just yucky here. I want to be content, I really do. But it's so hard when it's dirty and yucky and I think I should just stop there...

Yes, that is what an entry would look like. Maybe every Thursday should be Dear Diary.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I just wanted 30 minutes, just 30!

I'm selfish.

I'll admit it.

And basically...I'm okay with that.

I'm one of those that needs some alone time. Some me time. I have two small children, so I feel I'm owed some me time.

Man, the more I write, the worse I'm feeling about myself.

Last night, I decided I needed some of that me time.

I decided to take a book and go to Starbucks, get my coffee (salivating right now thinking 'bout 'er) sit outside and read for about 30 minutes. Just have some time to breathe. Some time to not answer the same question for the 37th time. Some time without breastfeeding (only 9 months to go!) And just enjoy being alone.

What ended up happening was I took the children to Starbucks. With a book. Got my coffee. Sat outside. And read for about 30 seconds. Jaylee announced she was bored and wanted to go home.

So, we went home.

I've decided it's going to be about 18 years until I get some me time.

I'm tryin' to be okay with that.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Did I really say $35?!

Yeah, I did.

I'm such a moron! :)


35 bucks turned in to 52 bucks.


Bugger.


Before I talk about my grocery shopping habits and what not, let me just say this...


Vacuuming my house and cleaning off my countertops with Pine-Sol make me a happy girl. It's amazing how just having the house vacuumed makes the entire house feel cleaner.


Random, huh?


Yeah, that's how I roll.


Okay, so let me give you some information on my grocery shopping-ness. I can make up words, it's my blog.

First off, sooo many of you that I read are so way more better at all of this shopping stuff. (Don't you love that sentence? How many errors were in it?! I don't really care.) I'm just trying to get my point across that I know so many of you all get the whole shopping trip deal.

For so long, I didn't. And am actually still trying to get it.

And in case there's a girlie out there who doesn't read all of you that I do, and she shops the way I used to...this one's for you, kid!


At 18, and a new bride, I had no clue about grocery shopping. I'd gone with my mom several times growing up, but she really had no rhyme or reason to her shopping. Well, I guess she had a reason...we needed food. She wasn't a thrifty shopper or coupon clipper or anything like that. She got our staples and out the store she went. She's always hated shopping.


So...18 and here I was. My mom made me a list while we were on our honeymoon of everything I'd need to get for our kitchen.


I bought all of it. At Safeway. Didn't care about prices or anything. I just went off the list and bought everything my mother said I needed.


9 trillion dollars later...


Okay, it wasn't that bad, actually. I believe I bought all of it for under $150 and that included a mop, broom, dust pan, t.p, paper towels, spices, our food...all of it. I was excited when I got my receipt and saw the savings I'd had. I hadn't tried to get anything on sale but was excited for whatever had been.

So, each week for about seven years, I'd throw some random stuff down on a piece of paper and go buy whatever I wanted. No menu plan. Just a grocery list. I'd come home with a hundred dollars worth of groceries (for two people, mind you) and then wonder, "what can I make for dinner?" It was so discouraging and I wasn't sure how to make it better.


I continued my grocery shopping in pretty much the same manner until about three years ago. Then, I made a baby step toward my better Menu Managment. (totally just made that one up!) I started taking my Safeway flier and looking to see what was on sale. I then would write out what I was going to make for dinners for the week. I did notice a huge drop in what I was spending but I felt like my cupboards were filling up with food we weren't eating...

My piece of paper would kinda look like this:

Monday B whatever you wanna fix yerself
Monday L leftovers of whatever we had the night before
Monday D Tacos

Tuesday-Sunday followed suit.

With dinners like Tacos, Enchiladas, Spaghetti, Roast, and I'd rotate those. I wasn't very creative, and I didn't yet have amazing blog friends that posted their menus or recipes for me to learn from.

But I'd panic if I didn't have Tacos on Monday for dinner. I felt like since I put it on Monday, we had to eat it on Monday. And if we didn't eat it on Monday, well then, we went to McDonald's.

I had terrible planning ahead habits.

Now, and probably for the last year or so (after learning from others) I have started going through my cupboards and have been taking inventory of what's already in my pantry, fridge and freezer before I make out my menu and grocery list. I know that may seem so obvious to many of you. Duh, Sarah, didn't you know to do that?!

Uh, no.

I didn't.

I've now learned to make out my menu like this (and this is my actual menu for this week) (many of my recipes coming from Gayle who gets some of hers from recipezaar)

Veggie Burgers w/Corn on the Cob
Taco Joes w/Green beans (we had this last night but I didn't make the beans) I'll post the recipe later, kinda reminds me of sloppy joes but a bit different.
Latke's w/zucchini
Black Bean and Tortilla Bake w/salad
Broccoli Rice (I have a bunch of frozen spinach, so I'm going to try to substitute spinach for broccoli, we'll see how it goes)
Fiesta Crockpot Chicken (I'm making this on Saturday when we go visit some family, it's delish)
Chicken Salad Sandwiches (making this on Saturday for lunch for family)

Instead of writing each meal on a certain day and feeling like I had to make it on that day, I just write out the meals I have food for and make them on whatever day I choose.

Now for my latest-supposed-to-be-$35-shopping-trip...

On Friday night we were up in Yakima to help decorate for VBS, we got to Yakima a little early and drove by a bakery outlet. I am always wanting to go to that oulet but it's closed on Sundays (or so I thought) so I've never been in til Friday.

There wasn't a huge selection but I came out with:

2 loaves of country wheat bread
2 bags of bagels

for $5.55

I was thrilled. Why? Because at Safeway that would have cost me about $14.

Now, here's my grocery list.

black beans x 2
chicken
tortillas
coffee
packet of taco seasoning
onion x 2
*olives
white beans-dried
*pepperoni
corn on the cob
cheese
tomato x 3
bag of potatoes
celery
parsley
eggs

* didn't purchase

Now, next to each item on my grocery list I always write out about how much I think each one is. And I knew if I went to Wal Mart I could probably accomplish my 35 buck goal.

But I drove to Wal Mart and it was packed. And our Wal Mart grosses me out and makes me frustrated and I wasn't in the mood for that on Saturday.

So, I drove to Safeway. I love Safeway. It's clean. They know my name. There's excellent customer service. And they have a Starbucks inside. :)

I don't like Safeway prices. But I was and am often, willing to spend a little more on my groceries to leave there without pulling all of my hair out or wanting to commit a homicide.

Here's my receipt:

black beans 2 @ .89*
Safeway coffee 5.99*
taco seasoning .89*
great northern beans 1.35
tortillas 3.00*
18 pk lg eggs 3.29*
2 lb cheddar cheese 6.99*
2 gallons of milk 5.50*
b/s chicken breasts 4.90*
bananas 1.37*
celery 2.31
corn on the cob 1.00*
tomatoes 1.57
onion 2.19*
parsley
5# potato 3.49

I stuck pretty close to my list.

* indicates sale prices

grand total being.....$46.61+ 5.55 from outlet = $52.16

I'm okay with that.

A. because I enjoyed my grocery shopping experience (no screaming kids running thru the store (not mine, others), no rude workers, etc)
B. because I had to buy extra chicken since I'm making a couple of recipes for family this weekend.

I'm just going to keep trying to get it down.

Sorry for the long post but maybe it'll help someone who's trying to learn to grocery shop. This is what I've learned so far.

And I'm still learning.

Friday, August 01, 2008

She says some weird stuff

Jaylee comes out of her room right now,

"I'm not uh giiirl, I'm uh maaaan!"

Seriously, the kid cracks me up sometimes.

The times when I'm not wanting to put her up for adoption.

Life this Summer

I feel like it's been awhile since I've written about life in general. So, I'll just have one really long post about a buncha stuff.

Not even sure where to start.

Everything is good. Which is more than I can say for about three days ago or so.

Husband and me

Things were kinda crazy for us for a bit. Like a two month bit. I just felt we weren't the team we normally are. There were days where we'd say hello and goodbye and that 'bout summed 'er up. We were co-existing. And I was panicking. Finally, at 1:30 am the other night we talked. It was really good. We're both always so worried about hurting the other's feelings that we never want to say anything.

Basically, it was boiling down to the fact that we were showing love to each other in all the wrong ways. We discussed what would help each of us feel better and after about an hour of pouring out our hearts, we were both able to sleep better than we have in weeks.

The Girlies

I'm amazed, daily, at how quickly Jaylee is growing up. And how I need to start investing more time in training her.

Yesterday, we had some issues. I would have won "Worst Mama" award, hands down. She was being naughty and I didn't handle it the best. It took a 50 minute drive to calm me down. When she acts out, I truly believe it's my lack of parenting showing through. And basically it comes down to be me being embarrassed, of myself. There are days that I'm too tired to "pick my battle" and I'll let things slide. Putting off what I should have just taken care of in the first place so it didn't fester til I blow up.

She's a good girl. But I feel like her heart isn't in it sometimes. And I just don't know how to help her sometimes.

I'm probably not making any sense, huh? What's new? you ask. pffft.

Oh, Miss Alison. This baby has taught me so much in her three short months. First, you can love a screaming baby. She doesn't do this anymore but when she did, I loved her anyway. Second, judge not. I see why some moms are okay with having a babysitter when their babies are still so young. With Jaylee, I never felt I needed time away with her when she was tiny tiny. With Ali, it's been different. In the beginning (you know, like a month and a half ago) she was difficult and I needed fresh air, to clear my mind and rest for a minute or 57.

She's been so good these last three weeks. She's so happy and so sweet. She gurgles all of the time and it melts my heart. I've never heard a more vocal baby. I'm wondering if we're in for it later on. :)

Shadow

This guy has really been the best, ever. He just hangs out. He's happy to be inside or out. And I've said before, he's just so patient with Jaylee. We love him to pieces.

Stuff and Things

I'm a procrastinator and overbooker. :) This week has been pretty nuts. It's been good but really busy and it doesn't look to slow down until Monday. I planned too much in a week and right now I'm paying for it. I'm exhausted.

I have 10 butterflies to make for VBS (vacation bible school) that I've known about for a month. They are due....tonight. Have I made them yet??!!? next question, please... No, I haven't made them and I really hope Pia isn't reading this! I'm supposed to help decorate tonight, VBS starts on Monday, so, we'll be heading back up to Yakima again this evening.

Tomorrow is a double bday party for some family friends.

Sunday we move my mother back to the lower valley. Again.... (love you, mother)

Money and junk

I know we're not the only family affected by the economy right now, so I'm sure you'll hear me loud and clear when I say it's tight around here. We're getting back on our budget wagon and as hard as it is, we know we have to do it. Penciling everything out isn't pretty. Unfortunately it's causing stress in our household. When Josh's company was taken over last fall, there were changes. Amazingly, we've lost about $15,000 a year in pay. That's a huge amount for us. Sadly, I didn't realize it until recently how much it is. These coffees have got to stop!!! Another area is our grocery budget. We spend close to $60 a week in groceries for our family of four, which is actually just three since Ali is only nursing. I never thought that was much until I read over here at
Gayle's. She has a family of six and she spends between 50-60 bucks a week on groceries. FOR SIX PEOPLE!!! Four of them are growing children.

So, I've decided...I'm going to try for 35 bucks, to feed my little family. It's going to take creativity and it's going to take some cutting back on meat. Which will be hard since my husband loves him some red meat! I believe I can do it and I believe that helping save the money my husband earns will be a stress reliever for him.

I'll probably do my grocery shopping on Sunday, so I'll let ya know how it goes.

Well, that's all for now. My girls will be up soon and I think I need to rest a few minutes before they are.

Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend. Be safe!

*um, not real sure why some font is black and some is not...hmm...whatev.*

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I have family coming over in about an hour. My aunts and their families, my mother, my grandmother and my niece and nephew.

My aunts are twins and are only 6 years older than I am, so I've always felt they were more like cousins or sisters to me than my aunts.

I love them dearly.

It's been quite a few years since they've been to my home. Back in the day when Sarah just wasn't the best housekeeper. If I remember correctly I was a lil panicked when they came over, trying to get everything that was on the floor of all the rooms shoved into one room and try to get that one room's door closed.

It was exhausting living that way. It really was. It's hard work being lazy!

This morning was completely different. I knew they were supposed to be here some time around three. I made some brownies, shoved some chicken and bbq sauce in the crockpot. Not the crock pot, just my old one and then I've just been lounging around reading a book my SIL loaned me.

Josh came home for lunch and I told him it feels nice yet weird to not be scrambling about trying to get everything ready.

It's amazing how just keeping things picked up here and there saves so much time later on. I'll actually be able to enjoy my family rather than stress the whole time.

Except now I'm stressed I don't have enough chicken for everyone.

Trying to remind myself that Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and two fish.

But I'm not Jesus.

So, I'm a lil nervous.

On a brighter note...who has slept in her crib the past two nights?!?!?!

Alison!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

If I had seen us on our walk tonight

I probably would have thought we were the "All American Family."

Kristie gave us a double stroller this weekend (thank you a million times over, Kristie!) so tonight we put it to use. We loaded up the girls and Shadow in our little car, drove into town, parked the car and then walked about a mile or so.

I was pushing the girls, Josh had Shadow and all was right in our world.

It was fun. We had a good time. It was nice to put all our worries aside for a bit and just enjoy each other.

Jaylee wanted out of the stroller after awhile and decided she should walk Shadow. He's so good with her. He kept her out of a puddle. He walked slower with her than with Josh. And when she'd tangle them up in the leash, he'd stop and wait patiently for her.

They were cute.

Ali enjoyed herself too. She was awake for part of the walk but then fell asleep.

Tonight she's sleeping in her crib. I don't care how much she cries tonight, she's sleeping in there!!! (yeah, I know...we'll see how long I last, huh?!)

Why I'm not Bloggin' Today.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Okay, so my last coupla posts...I'd say sorry. But, I don't want to be sorry. This blog is definitely something I do to stay connected with family and friends and uh, "friends in the black box" but it's also an outlet for me.

And spilling my weak heart about my dad, well, was cheap therapy for me. I shut the comments off on that post because I knew no one would know what to say and I didn't want anyone to feel they had to say something.

That day actually wasn't too bad. Better than most years I've had. Year five was the worst. I went and got a tattoo, ya know, "in memory" but basically it was my selfish imaturity shining through.

So, Wednesday, I was mostly bored. I refrained from going out to get a tattoo this year. :) Josh was up at Mt. Rainier spandexing with a bunch of friends, my house was clean and my children were well behaved. I didn't have much to do. Why does it sound like I'm whining about having nothing to do?!?

I put on my Big Girl Panties and realized that, yeah, he's gone. But he was here for a reason.

And I think I tuck two of those reasons into bed every night.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Private Notes

That I guess aren't private since I'm posting them. :)

Amber-Thank you for offering to come over.

Debby-Thank you for your sweet words.

Mindy-Thank you for calling to see how I was doing.

You guys are the bestest in the westest. Well...not you Min, guess you're the bestest in the southeastest. :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Nine Years

You are forewarned, I may get a wee bit sentimental.

Wow. It's hard for me to believe it's been nine years. Nine years since Josh and I were in San Diego on our first vacation. Nine years since my mom called to tell me my dad had drown in the Yakima River.

It was so surreal. I remember going to the airport and asking if we could get on an earlier flight (we weren't set to leave for two more days) and when the girl at the desk asked what our reason was, I remember just blurting out that my dad had just drown. She quickly looked away and that was just the first of many times I'd shock people with the way my dad died.

We arrived in Seattle and still had a three hour drive home. I just remember thinking, "this can't be happening. He's only 40." Josh and I didn't talk much on that drive home.

What was there to say?

I wasn't ever extremely close to my dad, but the last year he was alive was the best for our relationship. I got to know him a little more. I got to see why he was so popular in our town. He was just a nice guy. Friendly to everyone.

And right now, as I write this, I'm mad. And I probably shouldn't be. There's no point in it. None. Being mad won't bring him back. But I'm mad anyway. Mad that he's dead. Mad that he wasn't there during some of the roughest years of my life. Mad that he didn't get to be there when Sugar was born. Mad that he didn't get to be here a couple of months ago when Spice was born. It just doesn't seem fair that he never got to meet his granddaughters.

I know, life isn't fair.

I hate that I still have days where it feels like the morning after it happened. I wake up and instantly remember...he's not here. And won't be again.

A few weeks ago I saw a man that looked exactly like my dad from the back.
I gasped. Literally, gasped. He had the same build, same bushy hair under his hat, same broad shoulders. It was the weirdest feeling. I was happy and sad all at the same time. I can't even explain it.

The cemetery where my dad is buried is not even half a mile from my house, yet I can count on one hand how many times in nine years I've been there. His headstone is there. He's not. So, I never see a point in going. But the part of me that wishes I had my dad to talk to when I've had a bad day or just had a baby, yeah, she wants to go sit and talk to that headstone.

I never have. But I think about it.

Often.

I miss him so much. Oh, how I miss him. I used to pray that the Lord would give me just one more day. Just one. To see him. To hug him. To hear his infectious laugh. To call him Dad, since I never did. I called him Mark. Man, how I regret that.

He was really great. I just don't know of a better word to describe him.

After nine years, I still miss him as much as I did on July 24, 1999.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I WON!!!

This, I won this!!! I never win anything but I won this! I'm super duper excited. I won it over on Steph's blog. And if you haven't been over to her blog, hurry, go NOW!!! She's dedicated 2008 to using her slow cooker, everyday. EVERYDAY!!! The winners were announced yesterday, and by-golly, I was one of 'em! Thank you, Lord, for blessing me, thank you, Steph and the Crock Pot people, I'm thrilled. THRILLED!!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

More Pics of the Girlies

Jaylee reading some Curious George to Ali.
A rare picture of Jaylee with her mouth closed. :)
Ali and Mama. (thinking since I have more than one chin, I should name them.)
Really attractive, huh? Not sure what Jaylee's deal has been with opening her mouth for pictures. I'm not a fan.


The fishy dress is one of my faves. The striped dress was my niece's dress. I love it!


Ali in her cute jammies after her bath.

A Day at the Park

They all wanted to get on but once we put them there, they freaked.

My mom and my sister, Meg.
Uh huh, we're normal.
Lookin' a bit sassy.
We tried to get the kids to do, "Speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil" I think they did pretty good!


I'll Cry if I Want To

Argggghhhh!!!!

There just aren't words for my frustration this morning. But I'm sure I'll find some anyway.

This weekend blew.

And if I was a cusser, I'd use some cuss words.

Since the weekend blew and hasn't gotten any better, my Monday is blowing too. My coffee hasn't even helped me this morning.

Jaylee is a bit crazy. Luckily Alison is just going with the flow. Shadow is making me crazy, he thinks he belongs in the kitchen, at the table. I'm not a fan. And if he's not at the table, he's stealing food from it and running as fast as his arthritic limbs can take him.

The husband that I've been married to for 10 years...well, I'm just not even gonna go into that.

It's just not a good day I tell you. It's just not.

And yes, I know, I'm having a pity party. But it's my pity party.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Memories...

of you and me.

C'mon friends, play along. Ya know ya wanna.

The Directions:

1. Leave a comment on my blog. In the comment, recall one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.

Kristie posted it and I followed suit....YOU should do the same-ola!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Quirky Meme

So, my socially retarded sister (long story) tagged me with a meme. Wish I knew what a meme was. Is it pronounced Me-Me? Or Meh-Meh? I dunno. But since it's six things about me, I'm assuming it's a Me-Me. I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish rule number three, seeing as how everything about me is spectacular.



Here are the rules of this meme:



1) Link to the person who tagged me.

2) Mention the rules.

3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself.

4) Tag 6 other blogger´s by linking to them.

5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.



And we're off....In no unspectacular order...



1. I cannot stand to listen to people chew their food. It makes me crazy. It's really hard for me to sit at the table when everyone is eating, especially cereal! This is a quirk about myself that I'm not a fan of.

2. I'm a South Paw (left-handed). My dad was left handed, my grandma's left handed and so is my cousin. I'm hoping Alison will be, too, since Jaylee is not. From what I've seen most left handed people have poor handwriting. My dad had amazing hand writing and I like mine pretty well, too.

3. I hate front doors. I have my grandmother to thank for this. When I go some place I've never been before, I panic that I won't be able to find the front door. My husband is so sweet, when he wants me to go somewhere for him, he'll tell me where to go and then he says, "the front door is on the south side..." He's great.

4. I don't like being a passenger. I know, it's retarded. But after the whole incident with The Assassin, I'm not the biggest fan of not being in control of the wheel. I'm okay with my husband driving or my FIL but other than that, I have to be the one driving or I have panic attacks.

5. I have a thing for numbers. My mom does, too. I can't get them outta my head once I hear them or see them. One time I had a number (4521673) running through my head. Couldn't for the life of me figure out where I'd seen or heard it...I looked through my wallet and found that it was my Bi-Mart card number, a card I use about 3 times a year. I memorize license plates and sadly I can tell you the phone number of the crush I had in high school. I never talked to him on the phone, but I know his number! To top it off, whenever we (my mom) move, it's preferable that the house number add up to an odd number. I'm saying too much now, aren't I?

6. I love to eat out. I never get tired of it. I love to cook but it's oh so fun to eat out. Whether it's drive-thru or sit down restaurant. I love it. The first year Josh and I were married I think I cooked maybe 10 meals at home, the rest we ate out. I didn't get to eat out much growing up and when I married Josh I felt rich, so I took full advantage of being able to afford going out to eat. We don't do it nearly as often anymore. Maybe 3 or 4 times a month.

Alrighty, now I have to tag some people. (I'm sorry)

Barb-sorry, I saw you were tagged for something but didn't see what it was...maybe you can kill two birds with one post!

Corie

Kailin

Kristie-I need to know some quirks about you so I can use them against you next week! :)

Liz

Cindy

Okay, there ya have it. Go check these ladies out. I love 'em all. My love for Cindy is now love/hate. She linked to a recipe that I can't get enough of...my butt is now twice as big as it was a couple of weeks ago.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

and Cracker Jacks...I don't think they'll ever come back.

We had my in-laws over tonight for dinner. I experimented on them. My FIL had 3 helpings and my GMIL (grandMIL) had 2, so I'm going to go ahead and think that my experiment was tasty enough.

Maybe I should backtrack and tell you that today I watched an almost 2 year old little BOY. A boy, people. In my house. I don't know what to do with a boy! But he was here all day and he survived. There a came a point in our day that I had to change his diaper.

Yup.

A boy's diaper.

Jaylee is fascinated with the whole diaper changing deal. With Alison and then with this little boy.

She sees parts.

She asks what they are.

I tell her.

She already knows the names of parts, we don't call them funny little names, we use the big grown up terms because it makes me feel all sophisticated. :)

So...back to dinner.

After Jaylee is done, she's running around and yells at the top of her itty bitty lungs, "Mommy, you have a peni$!"

I wanted to crawl underneath the card table.

My MIL, trying to cover it up, "Yes, Mommy has peanuts." (Which I did not)

"No, peni$!"

Seriously, what am I gonna do with this kid?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The night of our Anniversary


This is the Hott-ness I get to call my husband. Wondering what's up with his tooth? That'd be a skateboarding accident at age 8. He's coming up with a sermon on obeying your parents because of it. :)

Here's Ali with my SIL, Treena. They came up from Portland, heading to Spokane and stopped to see us for a bit. This was their first time meeting Alison. Thankfully she was a good girl!

Alison had her 2 month check up yesterday. She's gained 3 lbs in one month! I think I have too, with these dumb peanut butter bars I've been making. (tyvm Cindy) Alison is in the 69th percentile for height which Josh said will go down soon seeing as how she has no chance to be tall with a 5'2" mama and 5'8" daddy. Maybe she'll take after my dad and Josh's uncles...

She's getting to be an easier baby. Thank You, Lord! There have been so many people at church telling me they are praying for us. So thankful for those people.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Some things I just wish I didn't witness

One of them happened at this very moment.

Jaylee is sitting on our deck. Using the dog and cat's algae filled water dish to dip her toothbrush in and then proceeding to put it in her mouth.

YUCK, people, YUCK!!!

She is now brushing the neighbor cat's teeth, with her toothbrush. He's lying there, enjoying it.

Oh my heavens...

I had to take a break. She started to put the toothbrush in her mouth after it had been in Brain's mouth! (yes, that cat's name is Brain, not Brian.)

That toothbrush is now in the garbage. I almost gagged watching her. Each time I'd tell her not to do something with it, she'd find another victim.

Sick. Just sick.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

These 10 Years

I've really been enjoying my book, Feminine Appeal.
I shared with you a few posts back about enjoying serving my husband, something I'm learning from this book.
A few years back, okay nine and a half years back...we were given a journal for a wedding gift. Inside the front cover were "rules" of the journal. It was something to write in to encourage one another, to resolve conflicts, just to say "I love you" etc. I was reading through past entries and my heart was broken.
See, for several years, I was only one who wrote in the journal. I thought Josh read it but never replied. The first entry was about three months after we were married and I wrote pretty often for awhile, then as I realized I was the only one writing, I got a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter. And my entries stopped being about how much I loved him or missed him while he was at work, and became more, "why don't you do this for me, why aren't we spending much time together, etc."
Let me also tell you that during this bitter time I was not a good homekeeper. I wasn't working yet I filled my day reading books, going shopping, do anything I could so I wouldn't have to be at home. My husband would work hard all day and come home to a messy house and no meal prepared for him. He'd been serving me all day long and I couldn't give him a hot meal?
My heart hurts remembering my foolish, selfish, childish behavior. I'm so thankful that Jesus has helped me see that in myself and has helped me to overcome it. Mostly I'm thankful for His forgiveness of my sin.
A few years into our marriage Josh started driving a semi-truck and was gone Sunday night to Friday evening. I could've gone with him but didn't. (another post, another time) We spent even less time together. My love language is quality time, you wanna make me feel loved, spend time with me!
Since he was never home, I stopped feeling loved. Things went downhill. Again, another post for another time...
Back to the journal...
One day I found the journal and considered tossing it. Why keep it if I'm the only one writing in it, what's the point? But decided to look in it, one last time.
And holy moly!
He'd written in it!
Page after page he wrote. Pouring out his heart. He'd not just never written me back, he didn't even know I'd written in it! Didn't remember the journal. He apologized. He read all my entries and could see my heart change through them. He saw that I became bitter about how much he worked and how little time we spent together.
Rereading it yesterday, this is where my heart broke:
"Whatever I do with my hands, I do for you."
The first time I read it, it didn't really hit me. But yesterday, thinking back to all the years those hands of his have worked hard to provide for me, I was in awe of him. All those cold mornings he'd be outside rolling tanks at the gas company or the year he pushed a lawn mower 12-14 hours a day, or the couple years he drove truck, shifting gears, tarping loads of lumber, hay, pipe, etc. And now back at the gas company, back to rolling tanks in extremely cold weather. And then, I remembered the pictures I took from the other night, after he finished working on my car, in freezing temperatures.


These are the hands of the man who has provided for me for the last nine and half years of my life.
These are the hands of the man who goes into the bathroom, gets a brush, and brushes my hair.
The hands of the man who busts his knuckles repairing our rigs.
The hands of the man who cuddles, tickles, rocks and disciplines our daughter.
The hands of the man who hold me while I cry for no reason.
These are the hands of the man who has served me for the last nine and a half years, without complaint.
I think now is a good time for me to start serving him. I may feel almost ten years late but I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of the next 50+ years I have of serving him.

**Originally published January 28, 2008**


I wrote that almost 7 months ago. Some things have changed. We now have two daughters that he loves and takes care of.

I wanted to show you again, the hands of the man who takes care of me. The hands of the man who has taken care of me for the last ten years.

There just aren't words, friends. I don't even know where to begin in telling you how amazing he is. Those who know him personally, know what I'm talking about.

He's just incredible.

He is the most selfless person I've ever known.

I was 18 when we got married. Barely 18. A girl with sooo much growing up to do. And he saw me through it all. He encouraged me and helped me. Loved me. Oh, how the man loves me. There are times when I feel that he doesn't but I remind myself of how he's stuck by me through "better or for worse" and there's been a lotta worse, let me tell ya!

He helped me through the loss of my dad just a year after we were married. Losing my dad was hard but it didn't really hit me until about 4 years after it happened and I had a breakdown over it.

Josh just held me. All my tears. All my questions. All my anger.

He just held me.

He's washed his own clothes. Made his own meals. Cleaned our home. Spent many nights, alone in his Peterbilt.

He waited for me to grow up. He waited for me to become a little less selfish. He waited for me to realize that the grass isn't greener. He waited for me to become a better keeper of our home and helper to him. He waited for me to realize how much he loves me.

Josh is funny. In his own quirky way. He is the king of puns. They're known as "Joshua jokes" in his family. Family members will call to tell us of their own "Joshua jokes" and he's always quite proud of himself. :)

Josh is known for stopping along the freeway to help anyone in need.

He's the one who gets called to help with this or that. For so long I was bitter toward that. That he would always rush to help anyone and everyone. Why it took me so long to appreciate that characteristic in him, I'll never know.

He holds the door open for me. He holds the door open for every woman, young or...not so young. He lets me order first at a restaurant. He's respectful to his parents. Josh is capable. Of anything. If he doesn't know how to do something-he learns. He always fixes our rigs. And with an '88 Accord and an '85 Suburban...he's fixing them quite a lot!

Without Josh in my life these last 10 years....holy smokes. I can't even imagine what kind of mess I'd be. He's helped me grow. He's made me a better person.

In our ten years together, we spent a few months apart...so I know what it's like to be without him. Those were the worst months of my life. I never want to know what that's like again.

I look forward to the next ten. I can't imagine what the Lord has in store for us.

And as for the gift part of our anniversary....

On Thursday I took Holley (our '85 Suburban) (yes, we name all our rigs) in to get the windows tinted. That was my gift to Josh. He had no idea I was having it done and was sooo excited when I drove him to Grandview to pick it up. I loved seeing the look on his face.

Utter shock.

On Friday we took the girls to my in-laws and then went out for dinner. While we were eating Josh hands me a card. In it he tells me what my gift is.

Money for new clothes!

I badly...sooo badly need new clothes. I really haven't bought much of anything for the last four years. Which wouldn't be a big deal but my weight has fluctuated quite a bit in four years (stinkin' babies, anyhow!) so, I was down to 1 pair of jeans, a pair of capris and a couple tank tops.

So, last night we left for Tri-Cities and went to the mall. I am now the proud owner of new clothes! Josh was so patient (he hates to shop) and the girlies did excellent. Yes, even Alison! :) We left the mall at 8:30, went to Red Robin for dinner, left there at 9:30, went grocery shopping and got home at midnight! Crazy night but so fun.

Thank you for letting me brag on my amazing man. Not that you had a choice, huh?! :)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tomorrow is the big day!

Our 10 year wedding anniversary.

I'll be back later to oooh and aahhh over my man.

He's really the most amazing man.

And I'm blessed to be his wife.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

This Beautiful Mess

The moment you've all been waiting for! (yeah, right!)



I recently read a book that has some controversy surrounding it, therefore, I'll not mention the title (if you've read it you'll know what book I'm talkin' about.) I'll save my review of the book for another post...


At one point in the book, the main character is standing in a garden.

"It was chaos in color."

"It was confusing, stunning, and incredibly beautiful."

Though the garden was a mess, it was beautiful. And come to find out-the garden was a representation of him.

And I loved that picture.

I love that even though I'm this amazing mess, I'm still beautiful in His sight.

The mess of my faith-how I daily, hourly even, fail to be like Jesus. I fail to pray. Or ask forgiveness. Or witness to others. I am a mess when it comes to my faith.

But He finds beauty.

The mess of my wifely-ness (totally not a word, I'm aware) So many times I put my wants and needs ahead of Josh's. I've failed him miserably. I've gotten better as the years have gone by (10 of them this Friday!!!) but so many times I've come up short as being the helper to my husband.

But He finds beauty.

Oh the mess of my mothering. So many nights after a day of mothering, I lay in bed and remember how I lacked patience, consistency, love, positive discipline, and the list could go on.

Again...He finds beauty.

And always, the mess of my relationships. Whether family or friends, I'm always failing in one way or another. I'm not available when I'm needed. I didn't say the right thing. I didn't have enough sympathy. I didn't call. I didn't write. I wasn't there. Again, the list is endless.

Still...He finds beauty.

I am a beautiful mess. I am a work in progress. Daily learning to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I'm supposed to be. Learning to do a load of laundry before I check my email, learning to not answer the phone when Jaylee is talking to me, learning to put another persons needs before my own.

But I fail. Miserably. Some days...no laundry gets done but lots of emailing does. Jesus doesn't love me any less because of it. He can't. He'll never love me any more or any less than He does right now.

In the midst of my mess, He's creating beauty.



So, there it is. My new blog name. Reading over what I've written bums me out, I'm just not able to adequately describe what "this Beautiful Mess" really means to me.

But this is a glimpse I suppose.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

New Title Coming Soon!

I had said a few posts back that I was needing something new and thought I'd have to get a whole new blog to do it.

I was wrong.

Fancy that.

It took me the better part of the day to figure out the very little changes I did make to my blog yesterday. I like them. And am satisfied...for now.

But there's more change to come!

A new name!

A new name that is very personal and is very much me.

I'm excited to share it with you. I just want to wait until I can put into words for you exactly what it means.

My blog won't change. I'm still going to post a bunch of nonsense for you, in case you were worried I'd gone and got smert or something. :)

But the new name is a better reflection of what I feel I'm about and what I pray my posts are about.

Have a great day!

Monday, July 07, 2008

All the Laundry Would be Done

If not for a baby who spits up that which I feed her. (Seriously, why lift my shirt if she's just gonna splatter it all over my shoulder 2 seconds later?)

If not for a three year old whose BFF is DIRT.

If not for a husband who works outside in the hot weather and sweats all over his blasted clothes.

All the laundry would be done. And it would all be FAPA (folded and put away).

If not for the above trio.

Seriously.

4th of July

Our weekend was pretty uneventful. Which I can honestly say is a good thing.

Events usually lead to hospital visits and/or the spendage of money. (No, I don't believe "spendage" is a word.)

Friday was a day off for Josh. I love it when he has a random day off to spend with us. And his days off are the days he usually works hardest. Proving to be true this weekend. We worked around home and around our neighbor's house. Josh and I mowed their lawn while she rocked Alison.

It was a treat for all of us.

I got some great pictures of Ali smiling but they're on Amber's camera and Amber's camera decided not to like my computer, therefore, they're still in Amber's camera.

We had dinner with Josh's family and played some cards. It's always a hoot to play cards with Papa. It takes him forever to bid on his hand, as if we have a money in the pot or something. It's the best.

Fireworks are illegal in our town so the city does a display. They blew. Next year I think we'll go to Vancouver and watch them.

Saturday we worked around the house some more. Josh went out spandexing (bike riding) and I mowed the yard. It was a little more relaxing than the day before.

Amber and I went out for a margarita and some chips and salsa Saturday night. That was a hoot.

Sunday was church and some driving all over the place to see family and friends. It was a very long day and by the time I went to bed I was pooped.

I'm thankful it's Monday. Thankful for the Lord's new mercies.

Boy do I need 'em.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

In the Clear

I went in for blood work again.

It's routine. Every three months for the next couple of years.

Today was my appointment to find out if the blood work was clear. Even though I've been cancer free for over a year, it's still a bit scary to have the blood work done and then wait on the news.

But everything is fine.

Thank You, Jesus!

Friends in the Black Box

I got a lil crazy.

You're shocked, huh?

Sarah? Crazy?

Noooo.

Yes. Yes, really.

Have you ever gone through your archives and reread some of your posts? I've done that here and there and some of my posts are downright embarrassing. Stupid. Full of nonsense. Hypocritical, even! sigh...

I found the one where I talked about why I was getting rid of the internet (for the second time) and realized that I now have it again and how I look like a dork. What's new, huh?

When we first started the Dave Ramsey deal, I decided it was all or nothing. And maybe that's the way it should be, but I think I took it to an extreme. And I think that's why I needed my internet back!

I made it sound like my kids wouldn't be going to college if I had the internet. And then I got smart and realized that if I didn't have the internet, they wouldn't go to college anyway. Because this little black box that I stare at has all my "friends" in it and if I didn't have you to talk to...I'd go insane and run these little children away.

All you people in my sidebar that I stalk daily...yeah, I need ya. I need to know that "this too shall pass."

Because somedays, I'ma wonderin'.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Pictures of the Girls....oooh and a video!

Happy girl!
He's so patient.
Pink baby!
Mama and Ali Self portrait...I'm really good at these! :)
Sweet sisters.

Alison had a really good day today. Thank You, Lord! So, I took advantage of the few moments and got some pictures.

And here's a short video, proof to those who have only heard her scream, that she can indeed smile and coo!





Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Meet Shadow

Seriously, he looks like he's smiling. He carries a burp rag around with him.





Could he get any cuter? We love this guy. I left him in the house for a few hours today and came home to find him in the same spot I'd left him.
He's content.
He's happy.
He loves Josh.
Whatever to him.