Cash Money Giveaway

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Finally! Sorry! I know I said I'd have this posted this morning and technically in my time zone it is still morning. I'm just not getting the post done as early as I would have liked.

If anyone is new here to this lil bloggy of mine, this is the deal: My birthday is June 3rd. I really love my birthday. And the next one I'm having is big.

My big 3-0!

And I want to celebrate with all my blog friends. Starting last month, I decided to do a giveaway on my blog each month on the third until my birthday.

I know I had a whole month to come up with something to give you for today but of course I put it off and put it off, because I wouldn't be me if I didn't procrastinate.

I decided I'd look in all the truck stops we stopped at this week to see if anything would be appealing to any of you. (Again, for those new here, my husband, two daughters and I live in a Peterbilt and drive around the Pacific Northwest all week.)

So, at the truck stops I considered shot glasses that said, "Everything's Bigger in Montana!" Or shirts that said, "Save a Kenworth, Drive a Peterbilt." And then there were gift certificates for 356 oz. Big Gulps.

And a truck stop wouldn't be a truck stop without p*orn.

None of this appealing to you?

Didn't think so.

So, for August, in celebration that my birthday is a mere 10 months away, I'm giving away...

CASH!

Not much. But you know, we have to build up to the big birthday bash of 2010.

So, you're entering today to win Twenty Five smackeroos.

$25.

You can order it in ones or fives. Maybe three fives and a ten. Get wild with it. It's going to be your money, afterall.

To enter, just leave me a comment and your email address if I don't already have it.

To enter twice, leave a comment, then grab my button at the top of this post-go to your blog, post about my giveaway with a link on over here and come back to comment that you did that and that'll enter you in twice!

Easy peasy and not a bit sleazy. (Huh?) (Yeah, I dunno.)

Just know that if you're the winner you'll have to email me your address.

Entries until midnight on Sunday PST and I'll announce the winner on Monday August 3rd (10 months before my birthday)

And for giggles, in the comments...tell me your favorite color.

Happy Commenting!!!

Things that make me laugh when I'm cooped up in the truck

Part of me is scared to share with you the things that make me laugh.

You may send me a straight jacket for my birthday. (which is 10 months and 4 days from now) (don't forget to come by tomorrow to see what the giveaway is and sign yerself up!)

Ahem, anywho.

Late last night which was probably just early this morning, while sitting in the passenger seat, I looked down and decided something.

I don't need to wear a bra anymore.



You see, I have a nice little (okay, it's not so little) belly shelf. It totally holds up my boobies and is going to save me a FORTUNE on bras.

I knew I had a reason for being chubby.

Inside the bathroom stalls at truck stops they have little advertisements, I took a picture of one for you.




I'm thinking- "would I be sitting in here if I didn't?!"

Funny, right?

On Monday during our truck-problem-fiasco, Josh was on the phone with his boss while I ran in to get coffee. I asked him if he wanted one. He shakes his head and mouths 'no'.

I got him one anyway and when I handed it to him, I said, "because sometimes no means yes."

His response, with a smirk on his face...

"I'll remember that."

-- Post From My iPhone

Now I Remember

After over a month at home, the girls and I are back out on the road!

It's been a slow week. Which is bad for the pocketbook but good to help us ease back into our truck family groove.

We started out bright and early (but not too early as Starbucks is not open before six) only to be put on hold because there was something wrong with the truck. Whenever something like this happens we try to make the most of it so we headed to the park for awhile so the kiddos could play (and I could drink my coffee.)

Fast forward a few hours....

Our first load was delivering seed bins about two hours from home. Once we finished that we were told to head home because there wasn't a run for us to do. Had we not had issues in the morning we would have had a load.

Stupid truck. :)

Tuesday Josh went and loaded pipe, unloaded it and then reloaded hay. He picked us up and we headed 250+ miles to Lynden, WA. It's a couple hop, skips and jumps from Canada.

Unloaded hay.

Reloaded lumber (you know much I LOVE lumberyards!) and headed east to Idaho. We got sidetracked by a lake and pulled the truck into a state park. It's been crazy hot in WA so the water was wonderful! Spice has zero fear of the water (you know I want to throw a morbid joke in here, right?)

After dinner in the truck....


We drove about 450 miles yesterday.

Josh and I were up at five this morning, we saw the sun rise and I was reminded that just a few hours before I'd see the sun SET. Why be up so early?!

Unloaded the lumber by 7:30 am and headed toward a small bit o' Heaven. (Starbucks)

We took a walk...








And then headed to the park in Coeur d' Alene. You might recognize this park from one of our first trips out when Sugar stripped her clothes. This time her parents kept an eye on her skivvies. :)






Bath time!


And then a little relaxing...




And in case you're wondering how we do laundry on the road....



As I type we're being dispatched to St. Maries, ID heading to Jerome, ID.

We're enjoying being together. And you won't believe what I'm about to say...

You may want to sit down for it...

I'm GLAD to be in the truck!

-- Post From My iPhone

Get Ready for Saturday

I know I need to blog about something. It's been a few days. I have a post that's been swirling in my head.

In my heart.

I think I need to pray about it before I just start writing it out. I don't want this post to be about my feelings on it but what Jesus feels about it. Makes no sense right now, huh?

Sorry.

So, until then, I just wanted to remind you that the birthday giveaway will be announced on Saturday! If you'd like your name entered twice, announce the giveaway on your blog with a link to mine, then come back and leave another comment letting me know you posted about it.


Winner will be announced on Monday, August 3rd...aka 10 months before my 30th Birthday!!!

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Thank you, Denise, for making my button and thank you, Jackie, for making a code for me! What would I do without people who know what they're doing!?

So, grab the button...stick it on your blog and let people know about the monthly giveaway!

Gangsta Gnomes

Take a look below at my new signature! Isn't she pretty? Thank you, Emily!

Yesterday the girls and I packed up and headed to Emily's house. We've been having the best time!

Gayle came over and they took me to Goodwill Outlet. They kept warning me that this place was G.R.O.S.S but that if I could look past the nasty, I could get some great stuff for super cheap.

They didn't lie.

It was kinda gross.

And I got 11 lbs worth of clothes for my girls for under 10 bucks! Smokes! Goodwill in my town is ridiculously priced. 10 bucks in my town would have gotten me a couple of shirts. I got a bunch of nice, name brand clothes for pennies. Amazing.

I'm hooked.

We came back to the house and Emily cooked an awesome breakfast for dinner while Gayle and I pretended to help but mostly sat chatting getting to know each other.

Girls, I have loved her two blogs for quite awhile now, to meet her...made it even better. She has this super sweet voice and I love her laugh.

We ate, took pictures (see below), played games (Emily won, of course) and then we talked for hours. I went to bed at 2:12! I love the tired feeling I woke up with today. These girls are wonderful. They love Jesus and their husbands and their kids. I've been so blessed.

Kinda thinking I may not go home. (Shh...don't tell Emily.)

Um, and I also held a chicken.
Don't be jealous.

Today Makes 10

Years.


A decade since I lost my dad.


Ten years since he drown in the river while boating with friends.


Ten years since I've heard the infectious laugh. Since I've seen the bushy hair under his hat. Ten years since I've seen his friendly smile. Since we've gone to lunch. Ten years since he hugged me.


Ten years ago Josh and I were in San Diego celebrating our first anniversary when we receive a call. A call to come home. A call that has forever changed my life.


I do anything possible to push that hurt away. I joke constantly about my dad drowning. It's the only way I can deal. But one day out of 365 I let myself be sad. I let myself think more about him and how I wish it could have been.


I let myself play the "if only" game.


If only he hadn't died, he'd be able to play with his two granddaughters. Would have held them the day they were born and watched them grow. My dad never held me, never saw me, until I was eight months old, I used to think about how when I had kids at least then he'd be able to see them and hold them and experience what he missed 29 years ago when I was born.


But it wasn't to be.


He didn't get (rather, take) the chance 29 years ago and he didn't get the chance this time around.


If only he'd been around when my life was falling apart, maybe he could've helped. Or maybe he would have been disappointed...


I hate this day. I do. Because it reminds me all over again that yep, he's dead. And nope, he's never coming back. I think about it everyday. Still. After 10 years not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about him or wished him alive.


Because even though I'm 29, I still want my daddy. I still miss him. I miss the light in his eyes when I'd come walking through his shop. I even miss the uncomfortable-ness of hanging out. Our relationship didn't come easy since we were never around each other much until I turned 18. But we were getting there.


I miss him. I just do.


Thankful that this year I'll be spending this day with friends.

The Camping Trip-In Pictures

One of 327 pictures we tried to take together. Just wasn't workin' out so great.

Safest place for the wave runner...if you ask me.

She smiles now but she was not pleased when it was over.

The cutest camper ever.

Mosquitos rampaged our campground. Jerks.

I have quite a few more pictures than this but for some reason it won't upload them onto my blog. I've been trying for close to an hour and my nerves are fried.

I camp because it's something my husband enjoys and because I want to create memories for our family. Camping has never been something I've truly enjoyed.

Until this last weekend.

I had the time of my life. And so did Josh. Hanging out with Jim and Emily and their awesome family was medicine for my heart. I laughed harder this last weekend than I have in ages. Ahhh...such sweet fun.

I loved watching Josh and Jim. The boys were separated at birth. Not only do they look alike (wish I could upload the pic so you could see for yourself) but they have similar interests and talked as much as Emily and I did...um, if not more.

I was thankful for the patience of 4 older girls with my two young daughters. They were SO good with them. (Thank you, Girlies!)

When my computer decides to quit flaking out on me, I'll post more.

Jim, Emily, Girls...Thank you for the greatest weekend ever. We had a blast.

Update on Wounded

A few of you saw a post I wrote late last night when feelings were raw.

Sorry if I freaked anyone out. And thank you to those who responded telling me they're praying.

Need it.

But for those of you who saw, please know that in no way was that directed at my sweet husband. Him and me? We're tight. All's good on the home front.

It's hard finding stuff out that you weren't meant to find out. It's hard getting news that someone who is supposed to love you is merely pretending. I don't know what to do with that. I guess there is nothing to do with that. Josh said my reaction to it is what will prove that I'm not the person I'm being made out to be. And I'm sure that makes no sense to anyone.

But it's completely affected my mood today and I just yelled at Sugar over something completely dumb. And I called my husband asking if he'd asked about whether or not he has vacation time coming to him or not, only to find out that, nope...he didn't call. And nope, he's not planning to ask and so I told him we were done talking.

I couldn't sleep last night for the longest time. I was sick to my stomach, sick in my heart. It's miserably hot and I'm so tired. I should nap while the girls are but I still haven't finished the clean up from The Greatest Camping Trip I've ever Been On.

I'll post about that later. Promise.

For now, I'm going to go lick my wounds.

Battin' a Thousand

We're on our way to the weekend of camping fun. Sometimes I'm not sure those two words should be in the same sentence but I think (hope, pray, beg!) that this trip will be fun.

But it's off to a rough start.

We left about an hour after Emily's family because they have a longer drive.

Ten miles into the trip I realize I forgot the taco meat for the taco salad I'm making for dinner. So...

Back home we go.

About an hour into the trip Josh remembers our tabs on our Suburban expired July 1st.

Sigh...

And since there's probably a warrant out for my arrest already for forgetting to pay my ticket, he didn't think we should chance it this weekend w/o tabs.

Soooo....I used my handy dandy phone to find the nearest licensing dept.

Josh goes in an comes back out. Empty handed.

They don't take debit cards.

Bugger.

Ohhh! But there's a bank with an ATM across the street. He runs over.

Comes back. Empty handed.

Again.

ATM is outta order.

Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?!

Bank number two had a working ATM. Josh got cash and tabs and off we go!!!




-- Post From My iPhone

Smiling

My BIL's wife...thus making her my SIL, posted today about what made her smile.

Even though I've had a good week, it's been a hard week.

Spice has been very, very sick and so very crabby. Sugar misses her daddy since we're not in the truck this week, so she's had some issues too.

But Denise's post got me thinking. What's making me smile?

I'm smiling because my husband should be home around 6:30. And when he gets here....

I'm OUTTA here! Going to Costco to grab a few things before...

Our camping trip with Emily and her sweet family (5/6 of them anyway) is making me smile. Cannot wait to hang out. The two times we've gotten together it's only been for a few hours at a time, now she's stuck with us for an entire weekend. ;)

Something else that made me smile that probably won't make anyone else smile-last night, I went to brush my teeth and just as I was about to put my toothpaste on my toothbrush, I realized it was hemorrhoid cream. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. It was really funny to me. And it was really funny when I horrified a certain friend with this information. (in case you aren't wondering, hemorrhoid cream is not in use by anyone in our household. I gave birth a year ago to an 8 and a half pound kid, 'nuf said)

I'm smiling because Spice isn't crying at the moment. This is amazing.

I'm smiling because today is my husband's Friday. A mini vacation is around the corner. (when I first typed that, I typed coroner. lol)

Just a few reasons for smiling. But they're good ones and at least I'm smiling.

Right?

Yep.

In Case You're Looking

If you've come from Amy Beth's blog and you're searching for my TMI post...here it is.

You've been forewarned. ;)

I don't want to Blink

I have a four year old.

And a one year old.

But wasn't it just yesterday that my four year old was born?

Or was it yesterday that my one year old was born?

Sigh.

The realization that I can't do anything to slow down these girls growing up is hitting me hard. But a year ago at this time...I would have been begging someone, anyone to please set the clock forward a few years.

I had a baby who cried all day and didn't sleep at night. I had a three year old that wasn't sure she was too hot on the big sister deal. I was nursing and couldn't be gone for more than 17 minutes at a time. And I was wondering ifwhen I'd get that "me" time again.

I was emotionally drained. And I wasted a whole buncha time wishing the moments away. Wishing that, for crying out loud (literally) would these kids just grow up and take care of themselves already! Wishing that I'd chosen to bottle feed. Wishing I had a nanny.

I think I wore myself out more with my wishful thinking than the girls did.

Fast forward a year.

This morning I was getting some laundry done and doing some general pickage uppage of the house (nice term, eh?) and I noticed something.

A strange something.

I had nobody underfoot.

The girls were in their room, entertaining each other. They were giggling and happy and...

leaving me alone.

It was nice. And it was...different. I remembered July of last year. How there was rarely a quiet moment. Or a giggly moment. Or a moment when I could do laundry without a baby in my arms screamin' her fool head off.

I honestly and truly thought those days would never end. I thought I'd be stuck with a crying child for the rest of my miserable life.

And then I blinked.

And here I am. Today. Where I was able to get a few things done in peace.

Of course I still had to make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I still had to change stinky diapers and wipe runny noses and hand out a coupla spankings. I cut up food into tiny bits and unplugged a sink full of toilet paper (what the heck!?) I had to tell Sugar to quit changing her clothes after the 37th shirt and I had to put Spice in her crib after she would.not.quit.crying.about.being.sick! I started the same VeggieTale over and over again. I said "no-no" about 12756 times.

And I may or may not have put them to bed an hour early tonight.

Ahem.

But I'm scared to blink. While our days can be crazy and tiring and holy cow-will-I-make-it-through-this...Pretty soon there won't be little meals to cut up, no chubby little hands to flick when they're prying open the cupboard doors AGAIN! There won't be stories to read. There won't be giggles in their room loooong after they've been put to bed.

I've had this change of heart lately. I've had this overwhelming feeling of joy over my girls. I mean, I always love them...but I don't always enjoy them. But I have been lately. I've been lovin' 'em and enjoyin' 'em like crazy.

I'm not wishing away these moments for anything. And I think I'm just not gonna blink tonight or anytime in the near future in fear that I'll wake from this amazing life I'm blessed to live.

Just Read It

I've linked you to Amy Beth's blog on a coupla different occasions.

I'm doing so again today.

I love Amy Beth. I love her heart. I love her passion. I love the way the Lord uses her to work on my heart.

I love her ability to put every emotion into words.

She's on a trip to Eg*pt right now and what she's witnessing there...I can't even imagine. Except I can a little because she's written a post that makes my heart hurt. Please visit her blog today.

Especially this post.

Giveaway on my mind!

So, I'm already getting excited for August's giveaway! Partly because I love to give ya stuff but mostly because that means I'll be that much closer to my birthday!

But here's the deal. I want to give away things you like.

Leave me a comment and let me know of some things you'd like to see given away between now and June!

the post with no rhyme or reason

It's amazing to me how quickly life can change. How, one minute (like the minutes you have a crying baby or an attitude 4 yr old) can last fo-evuh, and the minutes that you want to savor can just fly by.

A member of my family had a baby a few months ago, her second. Right now she's completely exhausted and overwhelmed. I feel this sweet mama's pain. Not too long ago that was me. In the midst of the fog of sleepless nights and crying all stinkin' day long, I was sure...absolutely sure I'd never feel normal again.

But I do.

Looking back, a year ago at this time, I was in that fog. Seems sooo long ago. Life is good now. We still have trials with these kiddos, they're just different trials. But at least there's sleep. And everyone is weaned.

Hallelujah.

A year ago my husband had a job he didn't care for. A job he went to each morning at 6:55 and came home from at 5:05. He didn't complain about it but it just wasn't his favorite place to work. And we didn't get to go with him.

Now he has a job he loves. He leaves for work on Sunday and comes home on Friday. He works up to 18 hours a day and he's a tired boy. But he's lovin' life and we get to join him whenever we want.

Life is changing so quickly. Family is always family but stuff in the mix always changes, sometimes it's good, other times not so good. Friends are changing. Making new and trying to hang on to the old, even if by a thread.

Celebrating 11 years of marriage feels so incredible to me. Our weekend was so low-key. A friend from church kept the girls on Friday night and Josh's parents had them last night. We had fun together but there wasn't this amazing, oooh-we're kid free-let's go do something-crazy deal. We're home bodies when we can be and we chose to be. Josh worked on his Suburban, I worked on FarmTown on Facebook. (latest addiction) Our weekend may seem boring to some but for us, we're just so thankful to be married. Staying together is harder than giving up, does that make sense? I guess anyone who's felt that way knows what I mean.

Being without my kids a couple different times this week was the oddest feeling. I don't want to say they complete me but...they complete me. All I ever wanted was to be a mama and when they aren't around I don't know what to do with myself. I love those girls. Even the days they make me want to pull my hair out and theirs too!

I've had to make choices in the last two weeks. Choices that weren't fun. Choices that weren't popular. But choices to be made all the same. At one point, I just asked the Lord if He would please just take care of my situation for me so I didn't have to. But sometimes the road to obedience isn't the easy road. Sometimes the road to obedience and peace, is a tough road to take. It's still hard but the peace makes those tough choices worthwhile.

A couple weeks ago I received a letter. A letter that was hard to digest. Even now, two weeks later, as I talk about it, I feel ill. It's hard to be personally attacked. It's hard to blow off lies. It's easy to let Satan take bits and pieces of that letter and whisper it in my ear, trying to make it truth.

Two weeks ago I started a diet. A diet that-for me-was absolutely ridiculous to try. I managed 5 days and lost almost 10 lbs. But I realized quickly, I was setting myself up to fail. Once again, I was trying to take matters into my own hands. I was trying to manage my food issues on my own. Counting calories, carbs, sugar, etc. Weighing food, measuring food...it's unneccessary for weight loss. What is necessary for weight loss? Asking the Lord for help. Asking for His strength in my weakness. So, it begins again. This weight loss journey that I've been on for four years.

My hope is renewed.

The point of my post?

Um, there isn't one.

Just needed to write.

And this is what came out.

And they said it wouldn't last

11 years, folks.

ELEVEN!

We look like babies, huh? I had just turned 18, Josh was 20. I loved him in spite of the flat top. He loved me in spite of the fact that for the next seven years he'd wash his own clothes, do his own dishes (you know, if I did happen to cook instead of going out to dinner), take care of my emotional instability, etc. He just didn't know he was going to love me in spite of those things! A friend of my dad's bet us 50 bucks we wouldn't make it to year five. We almost owed the guy money. Praise the Lord we made it through some tough, tough years...because these last four have been amazing. I love this man like crazy. And to still be married to me, he must love me a bunch, too.

Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love ya.

Mission: Failed

With loads of hours alone, I have spent a bunch of it thinking.

When it's quiet you can actually tell you have a brain and that stuff goes on up there.

But with that, I have to hear what's going on up there.

Today hasn't been pretty.

Not only is the house quiet because my girls aren't here but because my mom, niece and nephews aren't here either.

They've been housesitting for my aunt. They were supposed to return today but didn't. I was so excited for them to come back. I had the evening all planned out.

But my mom called and said they wouldn't be coming home tonight.

Home.

I wonder if they even feel like that's what this place is to them. I know Alexander does. He's called it that.

Today I realized we're half way into their stay here and I'm not sure I've made it a fun time for them. Sure, I've been gone a lot of that time, riding in the truck. But when I have been here, has that been okay?

No.

I don't think so. I don't think my house, rather...my attitude, has been one that makes them feel right at home. And that hurts my heart.

I know that having them move in was what the Lord wanted us to do. The timing of everything was perfect. It was right when we were leaving to go OTR, we needed someone here...they needed a place to stay. It was perfect.

All except my attitude toward it.

I haven't had a happy heart. I try to talk to Sugar all the time about how, "we need to have happy hearts." I'm telling her, but am I showing her how?

Nope.

I love having people over. I love having parties and playing cards. Then why was it such an issue for me to have family move in? Why is my heart so wretched?

My mom hasn't been feeling well lately. The kids have gone to stay with a family in the church. People the kids don't even know. Yet the couple and the kids were so excited. These people are not relatives, but they are so happy to be helpers.

I want to be that.

I want to be a happy helper.

I haven't been and I feel like I've failed my family.

I can't wait til my kids come home and it's noisy and I can't hear the stuff that goes on in my brain.

What alone time looks like for this girl

I had my sights set high yesterday when my sweet family left.

I was going to turn in early and sleep super late. I was going to take a 10 minute shower (instead of 3) I was going to shave both legs, and dance around the house to the current pop music, as loud as it would go.

In my underwear.

But it just wasn't meant to be I suppose. At about 3:45 it began to rain, waking poor Shadow. He began to pace. Then nudged me. Petting him just didn't cut it. He wanted me to get up.

Can you believe I obliged?

Me either.

At 3:45 a.m I got out of bed to feed a dog. Not a baby.

A dog.

Do you think I could go back to sleep after this?

Nope. I laid there for a little over an hour, til 5:15 when I couldn't stand it any longer.

I did shower. But I think it was only 5 minutes long. I didn't shave my legs. I washed my hair and thought about how my sweet family is 4 hours away, snuggled in the cab of a truck.

Together.

I thought about how Sugar was promising to take care of Spice as they left. I thought about how amazing my man is that he'd take two kiddos in the rig with him, for what could turn out to be a four day stretch.

He's cool like that. It was no big deal to him.

I stepped outta the shower, looked in the mirror, contemplated make-up for about .5 seconds. I wrestled on a pair of jeans, buttoning them with a rubberband. Did I really just admit that?

Yep.

I worked at cleaning the upstairs, looking at the beds of my sweet girls. Missing them.

Then stepped on a toy.

Didn't curse but may have thought about it...

Threw my hair up in a ponytail. Grabbed a lightweight jacket and headed a couple towns over for a coffee, croissant and some alone time.

It lasted all of three minutes. Seriously.

Talked to Josh on the phone. He said Spice didn't sleep last night. My heart hurts for all of them. Nights like that mean a long day for them today.

Took Josh's weekly paperwork to his boss. Snuggled their kitten and considered taking it home.

Okay, maybe I just considered getting one of my own. I love cats. Love them. It's been so long since we've had a snuggly indoor kitty. (Roger, Popcorn, Bekker, Bella, Britney, Briggs.....)

Came home to an empty (besides Shadow) house. Started laundry.

I'm back upstairs now, Pandora radio in the background (Garth Brooks is playing) and I've made a large dent in the craziness of this 495 sq ft. mess.

I need to go into town again soon.

And I'll do it without loading two girls into their carseats. I'll walk into the store without the, "when we get inside, don't touch anything and please don't ask for candy," routine.

Sure, I'm kinda lonely. But before my sweet husband left, he told me to enjoy this time for myself.

And I'm going to try.

What's a Mama to Do?

I could be shaving my legs right now.

Both legs.

Passed my knees even!

I could have the stereo turned up all the way.

To any station I want.

I could make cookie dough and eat it all by myself.

I could make dinner and not have to chop it up into tiny pieces.

I could eat mine before it's cold.

I can take up the entire bed tonight.

There's a whole lotta stuffs I could be doing right now.

Josh has Sugar and Spice with him for the week. Or, at least until he's back in the area. I have a concert to go to on Tuesday and no sitter, so that amazing man of mine offered to take the girls with him. It's possible they'll be home Wednesday but also possible they won't be home til Thursday (which this week will be Josh's Friday since he took a vacay day!)

This feels so odd. I feel very lonely. Honestly, I'm panicking a bit. I can't remember ever being away from Spice overnight. I'm pretty sure I haven't been. She was asleep before Josh left the driveway. Sugar is excited to sit up front with Daddy.

I'm trying my darndest to just be excited for the coupla days I have to myself. How often does a woman get a chance like this?! Not often!

Tomorrow, I have it all figured out. I'm going to get up early. Turn on the radio. Vacuum. Shower. Dress. Get coffee and sit outside and people watch. I love to people watch! =) Oh, and I have some goods to mail off!

If you had an entire day to yourself what would you do with it?

And the winner is.....

Mint!

I think Random.org must have known that it was 8 months til your birthday! =)

Email me at truckfamily@gmail.com with your address and I'll get this fun stuff off to ya on Monday!

Thanks to all of you for sharing with me what Freedom you're thankful for this year as we celebrate our Independence. Our freedom does not come free. Men and women are out there fighting for it every hour of every day, risking their lives. I must say, it's quite humbling. And I'm so grateful for the country we live in.

God Bless the USA!!!

Birthday Giveaway!!!

*Edited on July 20th, 2009!!!

I'll be announcing the prize for each giveaway on the FIRST of each month and then announcing the WINNER on the 3rd!*

original post is as follows...

"Whose birthday is it?" you ask...

Mine.

You know, in eleven months.

I've decided I want to celebrate the 3rd day of the month until my next birthday.

My 30th birthday!!!

Who better to celebrate with than all of you?!

I came up with this wonderful idea (all on my OWN even!) that I'll do a giveaway every month on the third. Well, the giveaway will be announced on the third, the winner will be announced on the fourth.

(I know y'all will be busy tomorrow, so make sure you check back on Monday to see if you've won!)

So, for my first birthday giveaway....

You're entering to win an Angora Scentsy warmer and two Scentsy bars. The scents I have for you are Clove & Cinnamon and Beach. Yum!




I really really think you're going to love this!* It's like a candle but not. There's a lightbulb inside the warmer that heats the bar and gives off an amazing scent. Cool thing? No smoke, no flames, and if someone decides they want to, ahem, touch the wax-it's cool to the touch. Animals, kiddos, husbands are safe from burns.

What do ya have to do to enter?

Leave a comment (c'mon Lurkers, you CAN DO IT!!!) telling me which Freedom you're thankful for this year. Comments will close @ 11:59 pst. Tonight.

Please leave me your email address, either in the comments section or you can email me @ truckfamily@gmail.com with your email address. If you're the winner, I'll need your mailing address as well, so be ready to front that if you da winner!

Have an AWESOME Fourth of July! This year, I'm thankful for the Freedom of Religion, thankful that (for now) in public or in private, I'm able to love and worship Jesus, carry my Bible around and go to a church building. In so so many countries this is not the case, we're blessed to live in the U.S.A. where, for now, we have this Freedom!



*I'm no longer selling Scentsy, so this is not a ploy to get you hooked on the product; however, should you love it and need more products, I have a coupla girls that would LOVE to help you out!

Giveaway

Tomorrow I'm puttin' on a lil giveaway for you wonderful friends of mine!

It's fun. You're going to like it. At least I think you will...because I do!

So. Tomorrow. Be here or be...um, yeah, that...






-- Post From My iPhone

Under Construction

Edit! New Header!

In the process of re-workin' le' blog.

So, at the moment my header is a little disturbing.

Bear (bare?) with me!

Thanks!
Sarah

Help a Mutha Out

Tonight Sugar asked me to play with her. Not knowing what to play I turned her down.

My heart hurts about it.

I'm really bad about playing.

Like, reallly bad.

I'm sure I played when I was a kid but mostly I remember having my nose in books. I wasn't one to play outside, climb trees or play in the dirt (unless my cousins were involved with the dirt).

She's happy, she's fed, she's bathed, she's loved. But I know she'd love if I played with her more.

Here's where you come in.

Can you tell me what you do with your kid(s)? Or if you don't have kiddos, what games you would play. Maybe you remember a fun game your parents, grandparents, aunt or uncle used to play with you...any activity, whatever it is.

Will you share that with me? I'm not so creative when it comes to playing. I'd sit and read books to her all day but I think that gets old.

Thanks in advance, you guys are the greatest!

Looking on the Bright Side

My oh my.

It was a good thing I renewed my license when I did. I may have been 22 days late renewing it, but I was just in time!

Just in time for what? You ask...

Just in time to be pulled over!

Blech.

I wasn't wearing my seat belt.

And in these here parts of Washington, that's a $124 fine.

Blech.

I totally knew it was coming. Josh had just dropped me off at the suburban at the truck stop in town. The girls and I had gone on a mini-run with him and we were now on our way home.

I pull up to the stop light, there's a car behind me but in behind me, whips an unmarked car.

My heart started racing. Hands shakin' a bit. I knew it was because I wasn't wearing my seat belt. I've had this happen before.

On three OTHER occasions.

(so I'm not a fan of wearing a seat belt...I almost always end up putting it on sometime while I'm driving, it's just not always my first thought. and...it's never an option for my kids, they ALWAYS have theirs on.) (at least while we're in the car.)

I had just renewed my license. Like hours before. So, my new one hasn't arrived yet. I tell the officer this. He just looks at me.

"You can renew online?"

"Aren't you the cop?" (fear not, I didn't say this.) (but I was totally thinking it)

He takes all my information back to his special little undercover car. I send Josh a text letting him know I'll be a minute, and I also mighta FB'd that I was getting pulled over. Seat belts may not be my priority but FaceBook sure is!

He comes back and tells me it's my lucky day, sure enough you can renew online.

Who knew!? Me!

I was given a ticket.

Blech.

But the nice thing about it? It could have and would have been such a higher ticket had I not renewed my license that day.

So, instead of kickin' myself over the dumb ticket, I'm choosing to be excited that it wasn't $500 but $124.

And I'm totally requesting a court date in hopes that they'll reduce my fine. That's a big deal for me because who knows where the front door to the courthouse is?! =)

Renewing the Driver's License

Eight years ago I lost my driver's license and had to go in for a new one.

Each time I went in there were a bajillion people in line and I just could.not.do.it.

The one time I went in that there wasn't a line, I was 145 lbs, I'd been mowing lawns all day, had my hair in a ponytail with grass clippings in it, and was wearing a ratty tank top with a sports bra showing.

That was one hot driver's license picture I tell you.

Two years later I had to go in for a renewal. The man looked at the screen. And looked at me. Then back at the screen again.

His face was puzzled.

Her turns the screen to me so I can see the picture that I've had on my driver's license those past two years.

"Is this you?"

It was.

However since the picture had been taken I'd lost 35 lbs. and had just gotten my hair done about 15 minutes before I went in.

Needless to say, I loved renewing my license in 2003 and I loved my picture. How often do we get to say we like a driver's license picture?!

Fast forward six years, two babies and 35 lbs.

I was not looking forward to renewing my license this year. I was sad to think of giving up that picture. I even considered going in and saying, oops I lost it.

But I didn't need to.

I was able to renew online and I get to keep the same picture!

So, for the next six years I can tell people I'm 110 lbs and if they don't believe me, I'll just whip out the ol' driver's license that says I am.

Breaking Free of the Trap I Constantly Find Myself in

Relaxed.

Refreshed.

Loved on.

Describes how I am feeling after spending two days in Nampa, Idaho with my aunt, uncle and three cousins.

Why we don't visit more often is beyond me.

Kenny and Eric are wonderful and I'd love, LOVE to live near them one day.

We arrived at their house Monday, a little bit after noon, and lunch was awaiting.

Later, McKenna and I went for coffee and it was so wonderful to sit and chat. I had prayed before we got to their house that I would just be able to glean something from them. They love the Lord and it shows in everything. There's just this amazing peace when we're with them and this time was no different.

I talked with Kenny about money and my worries about my foolishness. She was very encouraging and as I type this I look forward to the changes I will be making in our little lives.

I need to stop feeling this sense of entitlement. Just because I have been in a truck all week having to cook from a microwave does not mean come Friday I deserve a meal at a Mexican restaurant that costs 40 bucks.

Just because I had a piece o' junk car that didn't have cupholders and overheated on me on the freeway with a three yr old and a newborn, did not justify buying a van I couldn't pay cash for.

My foolish way of thinking for the past 11 years of our marriage has set us back tremendously. We started our marriage at 18 and 20 yrs of age, debt free with Josh making a very good income. Then a year later I received a large chunk of change. Had we been wise with what we were blessed with we could have paid cash for a home after a couple of years. Instead, I found myself always wanting something (usually a car) or needing something (usually a car.)

My poor husband.

He's been so amazing to me.

He knew that while I was growing up I didn't have everything I wanted and he's just always wanted me to have it all.

I have abused his generous heart.

And it stops now.

He hates saying no to me. I can probably count one one hand how many times he has. So, the way to keep him from not saying no to me OR saying no to me is to stop asking.

This will save us money.

I am determined to get my coffee habit under control. I am determined to cook all meals no matter how tired I am or sick of cooking I am.

I am determined AND committed to being a better steward of Josh's paychecks.

I want to be a blessing to my husband. I want him to trust me with his earnings.

These last couple of days (and even now) I have found it very hard not to beat myself up for all my financial mistakes. I've found it hard to not feel bad for Josh, thinking he deserves a woman who would be frugal and wise with his money. I've found it hard to stop thinking that everyone will judge decisions I am making.

The Lord answered my quick prayer, I did glean something while there-financial wisdom from my aunt in the brief time we had over coffee.

So, as embarrassing as it is, because of how many times we've done this with other vehicles, I am going to put our van up for sale. It pains me to think of giving her up but I know I wasn't supposed to buy it. There haven't been that many times in my life where I have just really felt the Lord speaking to me, but the week before I bought the van was one of them. The Lord asked me to wait on Him.

I ignored Him. (noticing a trend)

I bought the van.

A few months later Josh's parents give us a car.

Sigh.

If I'd just waited as He'd asked...

I have repented. And I ask for prayer now, that our van would sell, that I would FINALLY learn and that I would be able to help others who may be likely to fall into the entitlement trap as I have.





-- Post From My iPhone

Verbal Combustion

Twice this week I've had this phrase said to me,

"You knew it was going to be crazy."

They were referring to this truck life we're living.

While I knew it was going to be crazy, I guess I just didn't understand what level crazy we were talkin'.

I'm not one of those wives who can keep everything to herself. I can't just let things go and be all happy on the outside when I'm turmoil on the inside. When I am upset that husband of mine knows about it.

I'm awful like that.

Josh has been loaded since 9 am. He's in Seattle. 3 hours from home. He should have been here around noon or noon thirty.

We're pushin' three and he's not here. With no possible timeline in sight. His truck is messed up. The mechanics at this point are basically interested in the fact they can charge over 100 bucks an hour to be looking at it. Praise God we aren't paying that.

But in the long run we do.

We work for a very, very small company. This always has its perks.

And its downfalls.

While I may rant and rave here, I won't go into the downfalls because I just can't. I wouldn't want Josh to be sad that I did that. Not that he reads this but other people do.

I knew life on the road would be crazy but I didn't know that when I was able to be home how crazy it would be here. And mainly the crazy is just the extra people. I'm fortunate right now because it is just the girls and me at home these last two days. But when there are extras, in the words of my mother, "it's chaotic."

So coming home...well, it just doesn't feel like home.

Am I whining and complaining?

You bet.

Does the bible say to whine?

Nope.

In fact it says the opposite. "Do all things without complaining or disputing." Man, I'm gonna need to look that one up, can't remember the verse but I know it's in there because I've had to learn it before! (Phil 2:5?) Um...I can't remember...I'll look it up later.

But sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest and quite honestly I hold back on my blog alot. So many times I just want to lay it all out there. I want to talk about every exciting thing but every hurtful thing, frustrating thing, etc. I hold back partly because I have family that reads this, whether it's mine (which is unlikely but possible) or Josh's. And I want Josh's family to continue to like me and not worry that poor Josh has a complaining wife. =) And partly because I've read/do read blogs like that and they exhaust me...and I find I have to have a break from them for fear of becoming (even more) depressed.

I'm so excited that Josh is loving his job. I'm so happy that his boss loves him and appreciates him. I love that he no longer stresses about work. He doesn't have to worry about how to do his job the corporate way. He can just do his job and that's that.

But quite honestly I'm missing 7-5. I'm missing dinner at 5:15 at a table that's not rolling at 55 mph. I miss just hanging out at our house.

Did I mention I'm not getting that laptop? Yes, the Dell Saga that never ends. In short, no laptop coming. I'm fine with that. I'm done.

Did I mention I'm mad at myself for not listening to wise council about 10 months ago when I purchased a van I didn't need? In short, I need to learn what classifies as a want and what classifies as a need. This requires a post of its own and I'm working on it.

Bills are up and money is down. Much of that is self inflicted...if that makes any sense. I'm seriously considering selling my iPhone. I'm aware of the contract and that I'd have to pay to get out of it. But for what the phones go for, I think I'd actually come out ahead. The phone was a want and not a need. I hadn't even planned to get it! I was going to get the free phone that came with Josh's plan but they flashed that pretty screen at me and well...the rest, as they say, was history.

Much as I've been going through our upstairs to organize and reduce, I think I need to do that with our income/bills situation. Last year I was so fired up about doing the Dave Ramsey thing. But I was all fired up by myself. My husband wasn't on the band wagon with me, so I quit trying. It's not an excuse but I'm going to try and give one anyway. =)

Okay, I'm done with my vent. Sorry.

Carry on...

My Brother-in-Law

I've had a few people email and ask how Derek is doing.

You can read about what's going on over at my sister's blog.

Good stuff happening!

A Lesson in Submitting to Your Husband

Well.

My mom called and said Dell called. Or the person that had promised me a new laptop called.

He apologized up and down that I thought I wasn't getting a new laptop as promised. It was not in the system yet by the time I had talked to the girl that informed me that, indeed there wasn't one coming.

He said he was still processing my old one and taking other calls and that's why she didn't see the dispatch of our conversation.

A brand new Tangerine Orange laptop is coming in 10-15 days.

My emotions over it have gone from up to down to up again.

And again.

Um, and again.

I started to wonder if I was being tested.

Then my mom says that maybe it's a blessing. I'd been willing to settle for a refurbished but this way I get a new one.

Then I started hating technology altogether and decided I was getting rid of my iPhone and my computer at home and I'd just start writing letters.

Like with a pen.

And paper.

Crazy, huh?

So, Josh tells me it's no longer my decision. That it's his. He doesn't want me worrying about it anymore. Says he'll make a decision and let me know in the morning (today).

This morning he tells me he wants me to keep it.

And I am nothing if not submissive to my husband.

-- Post From My iPhone

How YOU Doin'

I'm in Idaho.

Well, all of us are.

Not just me.

We just finished tarping our heaviest load of hay. Yes, we. I helped.

I'm a helper.

We are headed to Seattle with it, where it will be put into a container, onto a container ship and transported by sea to another country.

You know, if pirates aren't needing it for THEIR cows.

Yesterday was a fabulous day! Started with being able to see my aunt, uncle and sweet cousins in Nampa, Idaho.

They met us at a truck stop and we loaded up the nine of us in their five passenger sedan and cruised to...none other than....

Wait for it...

Starbucks!

I was all set to use the twenty bucks the Lord left in the bushes for me but my uncle treated and we were greatly blessed.





Zorro, the Birthday Boy!!





My Uncle Eric, also known as the Spice Whisperer. She can be the crabbiest, fussiest baby but when he holds her she's happy.





I wish I could say I was the cute one in the picture above, but that's Kenny, my aunt. I love her and would love to be just like her if I grow up.

Thanks for picking us up family, we loved it!

We showered last night at The Garden of Eden truck stop last night.





Kinda sad when a truck stop bathtub is bigger than what we have at home. So nice to be clean, even if 12 hours later Sugar looks like this....





Sigh...

We may be showered and clean but we have hay in our hair, mud in our feet and there may or may not be some in my bra.

How does it get there you ask? No clue.

No clue at all.

It happens every week that one of the four of us gets shafted on having enough clothes for the week.

And this week whoever packed our bags only packed me two shirts, one of which was already dirty.

Whoever did that should be banished to a deserted island where all there is to drink is Iced Hazelnut Breves or Sangrias. With only chocolate and peanut butter to eat served by a hottie with a fake tooth and arms that are to die for.





(Coveralls optional but not needed.)

Yes. That sounds like reasonable punishment.

--Post From My iPhone

At least it ended well

11 pm on a Monday from hell.

Pardon me, but seriously. Today has been an exhausting day.

It started at 8:10 this morning with a phone call to Dell. Nemo (new laptop) has had some issues from the get-go. I tried to ignore them but they were just too frustrating to let slide.

Let me tell you that from the moment I ordered her I didn't feel right about it. While I was excited to finally have it for the truck and a system newer than seven years old, my heart has never been fully at peace.

I know the Lord was speaking to me.

I was just trying to shush Him.

Note: Don't shush God.

Now that we have that taken care of....

I had to get this phone call taken care of this morning because we were set to head out in the truck some time today and I only have 21 days from date of purchase for a return. And they'll only refund me if something is found wrong with it by Tech Support, otherwise I pay a restocking fee of 15%.

My mom had left with the kids (not mine) and I got mine settled with snacks and a movie so I could make my uninterrupted phone call.

Starting at 8:10 I was not through with them until 3:30.

No joke.

Oh how I wish I were.

At about 11 I was bawling. A complete wreck. At one point I had been transferred to Dell Latin America Supporte. No freakin joke. One of the 8 people I'd been transferred to kept asking me to repeat my name because he couldn't understand me through my snot nosed, sobbing mess. I spoke with him for approximately two hours. I kept saying I wanted to return it, he kept saying they would fix it. I didn't want it fixed. I just wanted it gone and without having to pay the restocking fee.

He puts me on hold.

Shocking. It'd only been the 37th time so far and there were more to come.

He comes back on the line, says he spoke with his supervisor and what if they sent me a BRAND NEW laptop in place of my refurbished one?

I asked the all important question.

"will it still be orange?"

"jess, jess. Eet wheel steel bee orange."

Whew.

I asked if I could keep this piece of junk til the new one came.

"jess, jess."

He asked if I wanted everything else the same and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, " jess, jess."

I just said, "yes, that'd be great."

And that was that.

1 pm and finally I was done. I felt a little better but not 100%. I remembered there was a feature I didn't like and wondered if I could have it changed.

Each time I had been put on hold they ran through the same commercial thingys and kept saying I could use Dell Chat Support online. My ear hurt from being on the phone all day so I thought chat would be easier.

Man, am I glad I decided to do that.

I get in touch with a girl and shortly into our chat she realizes there is a problem. She asks if I have been given a reference # stating I have a new laptop coming in exchange for my refurb.

Uh, no.

She comes back after a couple of minutes and says there is no record of my conversation with Ahminidad. (or whatever his name was.)

She apologizes and transfers me to her supervisor.

He apologizes profusely and asks what I'd like to do.

I tell him I'd like to just return it but I don't want to pay the restocking fee. He says I will get a full refund but can't promise I won't pay the fee.

So, I tell him that I would then like a code to give to customer care so that I was sure not to have to pay it.

And he gave me one. Thank You, Lord!

I had to call customer care where I was then transferred three more times.

All is good. Nemo will return to the ocean and I don't have to pay a dime.

Whew.

Have I mentioned I have not had Starbucks in TWO DAYS!!!???

Ahem. Anyway...

But then I had another issue to deal with. The air card I'd purchased on Saturday from AT&T. It comes with a 2 yr contract. Ugh. I call my rep who sold me my phone and then the air card and he assures me I can bring it in for a refund.

So, on our way to Idaho tonight in the Peterbilt with our trailers, Josh dumps me off in the suicide lane and I run to AT&T. My guy is there. And says he'll override the air card restocking fee (what the heck is it with THOSE!?) and that he'll refund everything and I am good to go.

I call Josh to come get me and while on the phone with him and walking down the sidewalk there are some bushes. Inside the bushes...a twenty dollar bill.

How cool is that?

And how cool is it that on the back of this twenty dollar bill it says, "in God we trust."

I've had a crappy day. Not only with Dell but with stuff going on at my house. I've been wondering how much more of this I can take.

I don't know if the Lord's just tryin' to pay me off ;) or if He gave me that note to remind me to trust Him and uh, maybe to get myself a coffee in the morning.



-- Post From My iPhone

Hoard Stuff I'm dealing with

Since being here the last couple of months my mom, on two different occasions has said how we have a lot of stuff. I don't think she meant is as hurtful but I was taken aback by it both times.

Hurt.

Guarded.

But she's right. We do have a lot of stuff. Some of it may actually be something else that starts with S that doesn't end in tuff but more like hit.

Ahem.

Growing up we moved a lot. And since we were never in one place for very long, it was easy to not accumulate sh, err..stuff.

And since she still moves around a lot, she still doesn't accumulate stuff. In fact, every time she moves, she downsizes.

But you see, Josh and I have lived in this house 9.5 years. And we have an unfinished 1100 sq ft. basement.

It begs us to put stuff in it.

And we oblige.

I don't believe I'm anything near those people you see on Oprah or Dr. Phil but I'm realizing that I do have a tendency to hoard things.

And I don't know if it stems from not being able to keep things while growing up or if it's just because I'm a freakin' pack rat. (I almost said pack mule) =)

I'm not the only one though, my husband is collector as well. (like how I changed it from hoarder to collector? makes me feel better.)

He collects things like tools, scrap metal, engines, oil, screws, camping equipment, and life jackets. But I suppose we shouldn't get rid of those life jackets, huh? Since ya just never know...

I'm more of a collector of household goods, scrapbook supplies, my girls' baby clothes and size 2 jeans and size small shirts. Because SOMEDAY my goodness I WILL wear them again!!!

Today though, I am getting ready for my mom and the kids to return. I have been sleeping in her room all week because it's quite warm upstairs and it's crowded up there. So, I'm getting laundry done and realizing how many clothes we have, how many toys we have, how many of everything we have. And that's not including that basement down there!

So, the girls and I went upstairs today and I started going through all.of.our.clothes.

Heavens.

Man, we have a lot of clothes. Josh actually probably has the most, with Spice coming in at a close second. Sugar has clothes but not many that fit her. Her birthday is coming, so I'm not out buying her much for summer clothes just yet. I have the least amount of clothes...that fit. In the basement I have a tub (possibly two) full of clothes from my glory days. The days of being a size 2. I hold on to those clothes. And that's not right. It's quite obvious I have issues with them.

Serious issues. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be that size again. So why have I kept them these last four years?

I don't know.

It's time. It's time they go. I don't know if I'm going to try to eBay them or if I should just donate 'em.

Another area I collect, is scrapbook supplies. I have myself a love for all things paper, acrylics, accessories, and more paper. I've talked many times about doing away with all of it. But I've invested a few grand, literally, in scrapbook supplies and I just can't let it go. At least not right now. So, I've made the decision to just not buy any more. Not until I feel like I've used what I have. Such a hard decision.

While upstairs cleaning this morning I told Sugar we were going to go through her toys. I sat her down and explained to her that many children do not have toys and that we were very blessed to have all the toys we do. I told her the things we'd be keeping for sure, like her Hot Wheels and her books but that she was going to need to pick out three things to keep and the rest would be given to other little kids. At first her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly regained her composure.

She chose her Noah's Ark toy.

It comes with the Ark and 592 other little pieces.

She's quick.

After that she picked her tea cup set that Amber gave her for her Christmas.

It comes with 327 little pieces.

Smart kid I have.

She couldn't decide on her third item. So we went outside for a bit, then made lunch and now they are down for naps.

I've been in the process throughout writing out this post, of switching laundry, doing dishes, ironing and going through the clothes. Whether clothes fit the girls or not, I'm not going to be keeping all that we have. I'll keep all of Spice's new clothes from her birthday (she got a ton!) and I'll keep out some play clothes, a probably five nicer outfits. But the rest needs to go. Shoes included. Sugar has quite a few pair(s?) most of which do not fit (too big) but I keep them, thinking, someday she'll fit into them. I need to realize that the Lord provides for all of our needs and I don't need to be hoarding shoes that won't fit her until she's 8.

This is a hard thing.

The last hard thing I'm dealing with. The hardest thing.

And unless you have this same addiction, you just won't get it and I don't expect anyone to, I just don't want to be made to feel any sillier than I already do.

It's my coffee habit.

It costs me, on average $120 a month to drink coffee. Rather, it costs me $120 a month to drink Starbucks coffee.

I had said at the beginning of the week that I wouldn't have it this week. I even bought Folgers to make myself some home brew but not once did I make it.

Josh asked me today how it was going with the whole coffee deal. I got defensive. And shortly after we hung up.

He called later to apologize.

Are you kidding me, why was HE apologizing. He said he felt bad leaving things on a negative note while he's away. Man, he's amazing. He said the coffee thing was my deal, that he was glad I could have it and that it was a choice I needed to make.

The only reason I went today was because I was lonely and bored and at Starbucks they like me and I run into people from town that I know and I get some social interaction!!!

Whew, I'm outta breath over that.

Honestly though. Even though somehow I afford it every month, I shouldn't. And it's become a habit instead of a treat.

Sorry, this is super long post of America. Just (quite) a few things I needed to get out there. You know, for some accountability I suppose.

Dude, the Mother of all Birthday Presents

If we're friends on Facebook, you already know what Josh's birthday gift to me was.

And if we're not friends on FB, then that's what this post is all about!

For several months and then very much so in these last couple of months, I have been wanting a laptop.

And not just any laptop.

An orange one.

My only requirements were that it be Dell and...orange.

But pretty, colored ones cost more money. Usually. And the one I'd wanted was about 1700 smacks. Holy smokes.

I just don't think so. I wasn't even willing to spend half that.

In all honesty, after my amazing husband bought me an iPhone, I didn't think I'd be getting a laptop til my 93rd birthday.

But lo and behold!

I was wrong!

(mark your calendars, because that doesn't happen very often!)

I came home for my birthday. I wasn't too excited about spending it in the truck since it was a git 'er done time of the week. If we'd had some down time, I would have been all about it, knowing that my husband would treat me to dinner somewhere fun. But the way the schedule was working out, he'd be treating me to a coupla truck stop burritoes with a fountain drink and since we were low on plastic bags, I opted to go home for my birthday.

I'm such a drag, huh?

He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn't have to tell him, he's no dummy. (though he's been called a "Dumb Truck Driver")

Josh told me we'd go shopping on Saturday. He didn't say what for.

But I'm no dummy!

I started looking on Dell's Outlet website and found 'er. The sweet love of my life.

I am sooo computer illiterate it's not even funny. I have no idea what I have in my hands other than that she's 17" of pure Tangerine Orange bliss!

I wish I could show you pictures. But I'm too lazy to get my camera. If we're FB friends, I'll be uploading them to there for you to have a look-see.

No hate mail, please. I already know I am a spoiled rotten brat. But, you see, I'm okay with that. After 11 years of marriage, he still spoils me.

And I'm okay with that!

It wasn't an easy decision. I have a harder time spending money when we have it. It's a weird thing I have. If the money isn't there to spend, well then let's go shopping! But if I have it, I think of every blasted thing I could be doing with the money. I had quite a list going and I'm so thankful to FB friends who encouraged me. =) So, the list of stuff I could have done with laptop money will have to wait until apple harvest when Josh is putting in crazy hours. Our next fatty paycheck is all his.

He plans to buy a turbo for Suburban. Can you hear Tim Allen right now? Me too.

I will post a picture of Nemo soon. Promise.

Yes, Nemo.

Sugar just saw that movie for the first time and when I opened the box, she asked me what her name was. Since she's Tangerine Orange, I was thinking Tang would be fun. Sugar disagreed.

"No, no, Mama, her name is Nemo. Because she's orange!"

Alright, kid.

So, Nemo it is.

Honest Henry

*no one but my sister, Megan, would understand the title to this post. Sadly, she never reads my blog. But I'm titling it that anyway because it cracks me up.*

I'm home this week.

And shhh, don't tell anyone...but it feels GLORIOUS!

My mom and the kids aren't here. Well, mine are but the other three are not.

So, it's pretty quiet around here. Besides the neighbors blaring music in Spanish that is.

While I'm lonely without my husband around, I'm truly enjoying being home. It's nice to cook meals on solid ground. It's nice to eat at the table. I loved checking my mail today even though nothing exciting was in there. I hung out at my house. I brushed my teeth. *gasp* I showered. I drove a car.

Things that are taken so for granted normally. I think checking the mail and driving are the biggest things I miss. I love to drive. I love to check the mail. And anymore, I only drive a couple of days a week and when I get home on Fridays, my mail is piled up on the counter waiting for me. (Last week a jumping spider was in the mix.) (I 'bout peed my pants over it.)

(I don't like spiders!!!)

At the beginning of last week I had started a post from my phone. A gut wrenching honest post about how I feel about this truck life we're living.

I'd spent close to an hour on the blasted thing (it takes awhile when you're posting with your thumbs) and then wham! Something happened and it was gone.

I almost swore.

Which I don't do often (except recently in Scrabble games) (I blame Emily.)

So, here's the honest truth.

I hate trucking.

WHEW! That felt amazing! Huge weight lifted off me.

But you wanna know what else?

I love it.

No, seriously. I do. I have a love/hate relationship with many things. And trucking is added to that list.

I love McDonald's french fries but hate the fact that the last 4 years of eating them are sitting on each thigh...and quite possibly each butt cheek. (nice mental picture, eh?)

I love Starbucks but hate that it drains my children's college fund.

I love Emily but hate that she kicks my butt at Scrabble, constantly.

So, I can love and hate my truck life.

We have good weeks and we have bad weeks. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to call it quits. Ready to be D-O-N-E.

I'd had it. We'd left on a Sunday and didn't get home until Saturday. Loooong week. Yes, I'd gotten showers in that week. You know, like one. Possibly two.

The thing I hate most about being in the truck would have to be trying to cook or get food ready while driving. I hate standing in the truck while it's moving. Makes me mad because many times I've tripped and I don't like that.

The thing I love most about being in the truck would have to be the time spent together. The sights we see. The places we stop, however brief, just to get out, stretch our legs and of course snap some pictures.

My husband is absolutely loving life. I haven't seen him this happy since...well, since the day before he quit trucking last time. It's what he was made to do.

And seeing him happy like this is worth every bit of the inconveniences I'm facing.

I'll do it even though it's even numbers

I have a thing for numbers and I prefer them to be odd. Shocking, huh?

But Tiffany tagged me to do an 8's meme and since I'm all about those, I'll do it even though it's the number 8. Which I loathe.

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. My birthday. (even though it's 360 days away)

2. Camping trip with Emily and her fam.

3. Trip to Pacific City in August

4. Josh to be home. He left this morning and we won't likely see him til Friday. Boo.

5. My 11 year wedding anniversary.

6. FedEx delivery on Thursday.

7. Meeting up with my B&SIL and sweet niece for a picnic in the park this evening.

8. And of course NKOTB in July with Amber. (yes, we're going again)

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Went to church.

2. Did dishes.

3. Held a baby boy and may or may not have considered putting him in my purse.

4. Mowed my backyard.

5. Went to the park and watched Josh be superdad.

6. Felt sorry for myself that my husband was leaving.

7. Considered going to Starbucks...but didn't.

8. Threw my arms around Josh when he said he called his boss and asked if he could leave at 4 am this morning instead of yesterday afternoon!

Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. I wish I could stop chewing my fingernails.

2. I wish I could do blog designs for funsies.

3. I wish I were 115 lbs again. (kids, were they worth it?!)

4. I wish I didn't have to fight the urge to go to Starbucks. But I'm not gonna do it this week! (shud it, I'm not!)

5. I wish I could re-live three years of my life and do them over. (I know the past is passed, but sometimes man, sometimes...)

6. I wish that from the beginning of our marriage that I'd been a good steward of the money Josh made.

7. I wish Spice would quit waking up at 4:30 am.

8. I wish I could scrapbook, efficiently. (Instead I stew over the pictures I have, the product I have and the lack of git 'er done.)

8 Shows I Watch:

Um, I don't.

8. Favorite Fruits:

1. Strawberries

2. Pineapple

3. Bananas (but only if they're dipped in chocolate..other than that, they give me the shivers)

4. Peaches (but only in cobbler)

5. Okay, I think I'm just not a big fruit girl, I can think of a ton of veggies I love but fruit...not so much.

8 Places I'd Like to Travel:

1. Florida to visit friends.

2. New York

3. North Carolina

4. Africa (so I can meet that little boy I love)

5. A mission trip, anywhere.

6. San Juan Islands

7. Hawaii (I'd love to spend our 15th anniversary here)

8. Tennessee (so many bloggy friends there that I'd LOVE to meet!)

8 Places I've Lived:

This one CRACKS me up. I could fill this section out probably 4 times. So I'll just go with one town, the town I started school in and finished school in but not necessarily the town I lived in my whole life. =)

1. I lived on 5th street in a trailer park.

2. I lived at 1207 Stassen in a trailer park.

3. But a few years before that I lived in...another trailer across the street. Too little at the time to know that address.

4. I lived here...

What's that you ask? Oh, just a place fondly known as the corner store. Where you can get 2 burritos and a 32 oz. soda for 1.99

Yes, I really lived there.

5. I lived at 908 Acoma Dr. my freshman year

6. I lived at 312 Cedar St. my sophmore year (then we moved to another town for my part of my junior yr but I still went to the same school)

7. I lived at 205 Elm St. for another part of my junior year and then...

8. We moved across the street to 208 Elm St. for the duration of my high school career. (My mom ended up living there for five years. The longest she'd ever lived anywhere.)

Just one town. And that's not all the houses in that town. I know there were a couple of others from when I was a toddler and another when I was in Kinder.

I know I'm supposed to tag 8 peeps but I'll just let you do it on your own if you choose. Let me know if you've done it so I can head on over and read your fun answers!

Another Change of Name

I started my blog almost three years ago.

When I first started 'er, she was titled "Organized Chaos" but hello, that was just silly. It should have just been titled, "Chaos" since there's absolutely nothing organized about me.

Then I moved on to, "The Front Porch" and I had it that way for probably a year and a half. I still like that name and what it stood for, since I really feel a front porch is important (even though we don't really have one.)

And then, I read a book that talked about "this Beautiful Mess" and if you've read the book, you know what I'm talkin' about. I don't really like the drama the book stirred up and looking back, it's not that I liked or didn't like the book, it's that I liked the beautiful mess part of it. Enough so that I changed my blog title to it.

But I'm in a new season. Even though I'm still a mess (you're all nodding, I can see you!) our little family is literally shifting gears.

We were blessed with a weekend away last weekend. A weekend on the beach. And as we were leaving, heading back to our truck, Josh says, "little house on the highway."

And it fit.

And I knew I needed to change my blog name.

I had thought I needed a new blog address and all that, but I'm just going to stay here at the joshua 24-15 because that verse is still very much what we aspire to live for.

Little House on the Highway. Oh, yes, we are!

My header is in the process. I'm not smart enough to know how to do it and too cheap to pay someone. I have a friend who does it for me...fo' free! (Hey, Melis...SBUX next time yer in town, 'k?)

Thank you for the birthday wishes, I had an awesome, love-filled day! I have the best friends ever!

At 29

At 29 I love Starbucks. I never thought I would. I was wrong.

At 29 my favorite color (red) is quickly being ousted by burnt orange. Whodda thunk?

At 29 my hair is longer than it's ever been and I wear it curly more often than not. I'm embracing the curly and letting go of the fact that I'll never have tame, manageable, straight hair.

At 29 flip flops are on the Top 5 of my favorite things about summer. Okay, maybe Top 3. Oh, who am I kidding? Flip flops are my favorite thing about summer!

At 29 I have quite a few gray hairs in my head. I love them and am not ashamed of them and have decided not to color my hair anymore.

At 29 I live in a Peterbilt with my family of four. The first couple of weeks were glorious and I thought it was cake. I was wrong. It's hard, man. Real. Hard.

At 29 I have been a wife for nearly 11 years (July!) and I cannot believe that I still am not good at it. After 11 years, I'm getting better...but definitely am not good. Sigh...

At 29 I love to blog, Facebook and Twitter.

At 29 I wonder if I'll have more babies. Why is my heart so conflicted?

At 29 I am 25 lbs overweight. You'd think after fours of it, I'd be sick of it and do something. You'd think wrong. I've yet to do anything about it but complain.

At 29 I have more friends than I've had in my life. Some IRL, some bloggy. But still, more friends than I've had ever. I'm lovin' this part of 29.

At 29 I have two daughters. One who's easy going. And one who's, um...not.

At 29 I have been a believer for 15 years. I still don't pray or read my bible daily. He still loves me. Thank God!

At 29 I live in the upstairs of my house. It's 495 sq. ft. and currently (as in right this very minute) it's about 90 degrees up here. I live up here because my sister's kids and my mother live in the main portion of my house. They live here because my BIL had a bone marrow transplant. Today.

At 29 I am not clever enough to come up with 29 things about myself. I'm boring as all get out. But that's okay. Boring's good. Right? RIGHT?!

At 29 this is my best friend and me, today.

On my birthday.

In the Nick of Time

One of my favorite things about blogging has been making friends with all the other bloggers. Girls who make me laugh, cry, think, and purdy much every other emotion.

Then ya get to the point where you email back and forth, chat on the phone, send birthday gifts (thank you, emily!) and the most blessed event of all......

Meeting in real life!!!

I have a sweet bloggy friend who lives just five hours south of me. And I have taken for granted that we'd just meet up someday since she's not too far.

Then I found out she was moving to Texas and girls, my heart hurt and I got a little weepy!

So, I prayed for a miracle that somehow I'd be able to meet her before she moved.

We spent the weekend in Newport, the Oregon Coast! This morning I get a text from Josh's boss saying our pick up is in Linda's town!

I had goosebumps and got teary all over again. I emailed her immediately and that sweet girl made time to come see us!

She brought her boys with her and I am in the works of arranging a couple of marriages.


Someday I am going to be the tall friend! (yeah, right)

Thank you, Linda for plan A, B, and finally C! =). It was so wonderful to hug you and hear your sweet voice!

And thank You, Jesus, for answering this girls prayer!

So, if I could link with my phone I would. But I am not that brilliant. Go see Linda at www.growinwithit.blogspot.com

-- Post From My iPhone