Verbal Combustion

Twice this week I've had this phrase said to me,

"You knew it was going to be crazy."

They were referring to this truck life we're living.

While I knew it was going to be crazy, I guess I just didn't understand what level crazy we were talkin'.

I'm not one of those wives who can keep everything to herself. I can't just let things go and be all happy on the outside when I'm turmoil on the inside. When I am upset that husband of mine knows about it.

I'm awful like that.

Josh has been loaded since 9 am. He's in Seattle. 3 hours from home. He should have been here around noon or noon thirty.

We're pushin' three and he's not here. With no possible timeline in sight. His truck is messed up. The mechanics at this point are basically interested in the fact they can charge over 100 bucks an hour to be looking at it. Praise God we aren't paying that.

But in the long run we do.

We work for a very, very small company. This always has its perks.

And its downfalls.

While I may rant and rave here, I won't go into the downfalls because I just can't. I wouldn't want Josh to be sad that I did that. Not that he reads this but other people do.

I knew life on the road would be crazy but I didn't know that when I was able to be home how crazy it would be here. And mainly the crazy is just the extra people. I'm fortunate right now because it is just the girls and me at home these last two days. But when there are extras, in the words of my mother, "it's chaotic."

So coming home...well, it just doesn't feel like home.

Am I whining and complaining?

You bet.

Does the bible say to whine?

Nope.

In fact it says the opposite. "Do all things without complaining or disputing." Man, I'm gonna need to look that one up, can't remember the verse but I know it's in there because I've had to learn it before! (Phil 2:5?) Um...I can't remember...I'll look it up later.

But sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest and quite honestly I hold back on my blog alot. So many times I just want to lay it all out there. I want to talk about every exciting thing but every hurtful thing, frustrating thing, etc. I hold back partly because I have family that reads this, whether it's mine (which is unlikely but possible) or Josh's. And I want Josh's family to continue to like me and not worry that poor Josh has a complaining wife. =) And partly because I've read/do read blogs like that and they exhaust me...and I find I have to have a break from them for fear of becoming (even more) depressed.

I'm so excited that Josh is loving his job. I'm so happy that his boss loves him and appreciates him. I love that he no longer stresses about work. He doesn't have to worry about how to do his job the corporate way. He can just do his job and that's that.

But quite honestly I'm missing 7-5. I'm missing dinner at 5:15 at a table that's not rolling at 55 mph. I miss just hanging out at our house.

Did I mention I'm not getting that laptop? Yes, the Dell Saga that never ends. In short, no laptop coming. I'm fine with that. I'm done.

Did I mention I'm mad at myself for not listening to wise council about 10 months ago when I purchased a van I didn't need? In short, I need to learn what classifies as a want and what classifies as a need. This requires a post of its own and I'm working on it.

Bills are up and money is down. Much of that is self inflicted...if that makes any sense. I'm seriously considering selling my iPhone. I'm aware of the contract and that I'd have to pay to get out of it. But for what the phones go for, I think I'd actually come out ahead. The phone was a want and not a need. I hadn't even planned to get it! I was going to get the free phone that came with Josh's plan but they flashed that pretty screen at me and well...the rest, as they say, was history.

Much as I've been going through our upstairs to organize and reduce, I think I need to do that with our income/bills situation. Last year I was so fired up about doing the Dave Ramsey thing. But I was all fired up by myself. My husband wasn't on the band wagon with me, so I quit trying. It's not an excuse but I'm going to try and give one anyway. =)

Okay, I'm done with my vent. Sorry.

Carry on...

My Brother-in-Law

I've had a few people email and ask how Derek is doing.

You can read about what's going on over at my sister's blog.

Good stuff happening!

A Lesson in Submitting to Your Husband

Well.

My mom called and said Dell called. Or the person that had promised me a new laptop called.

He apologized up and down that I thought I wasn't getting a new laptop as promised. It was not in the system yet by the time I had talked to the girl that informed me that, indeed there wasn't one coming.

He said he was still processing my old one and taking other calls and that's why she didn't see the dispatch of our conversation.

A brand new Tangerine Orange laptop is coming in 10-15 days.

My emotions over it have gone from up to down to up again.

And again.

Um, and again.

I started to wonder if I was being tested.

Then my mom says that maybe it's a blessing. I'd been willing to settle for a refurbished but this way I get a new one.

Then I started hating technology altogether and decided I was getting rid of my iPhone and my computer at home and I'd just start writing letters.

Like with a pen.

And paper.

Crazy, huh?

So, Josh tells me it's no longer my decision. That it's his. He doesn't want me worrying about it anymore. Says he'll make a decision and let me know in the morning (today).

This morning he tells me he wants me to keep it.

And I am nothing if not submissive to my husband.

-- Post From My iPhone

How YOU Doin'

I'm in Idaho.

Well, all of us are.

Not just me.

We just finished tarping our heaviest load of hay. Yes, we. I helped.

I'm a helper.

We are headed to Seattle with it, where it will be put into a container, onto a container ship and transported by sea to another country.

You know, if pirates aren't needing it for THEIR cows.

Yesterday was a fabulous day! Started with being able to see my aunt, uncle and sweet cousins in Nampa, Idaho.

They met us at a truck stop and we loaded up the nine of us in their five passenger sedan and cruised to...none other than....

Wait for it...

Starbucks!

I was all set to use the twenty bucks the Lord left in the bushes for me but my uncle treated and we were greatly blessed.





Zorro, the Birthday Boy!!





My Uncle Eric, also known as the Spice Whisperer. She can be the crabbiest, fussiest baby but when he holds her she's happy.





I wish I could say I was the cute one in the picture above, but that's Kenny, my aunt. I love her and would love to be just like her if I grow up.

Thanks for picking us up family, we loved it!

We showered last night at The Garden of Eden truck stop last night.





Kinda sad when a truck stop bathtub is bigger than what we have at home. So nice to be clean, even if 12 hours later Sugar looks like this....





Sigh...

We may be showered and clean but we have hay in our hair, mud in our feet and there may or may not be some in my bra.

How does it get there you ask? No clue.

No clue at all.

It happens every week that one of the four of us gets shafted on having enough clothes for the week.

And this week whoever packed our bags only packed me two shirts, one of which was already dirty.

Whoever did that should be banished to a deserted island where all there is to drink is Iced Hazelnut Breves or Sangrias. With only chocolate and peanut butter to eat served by a hottie with a fake tooth and arms that are to die for.





(Coveralls optional but not needed.)

Yes. That sounds like reasonable punishment.

--Post From My iPhone

At least it ended well

11 pm on a Monday from hell.

Pardon me, but seriously. Today has been an exhausting day.

It started at 8:10 this morning with a phone call to Dell. Nemo (new laptop) has had some issues from the get-go. I tried to ignore them but they were just too frustrating to let slide.

Let me tell you that from the moment I ordered her I didn't feel right about it. While I was excited to finally have it for the truck and a system newer than seven years old, my heart has never been fully at peace.

I know the Lord was speaking to me.

I was just trying to shush Him.

Note: Don't shush God.

Now that we have that taken care of....

I had to get this phone call taken care of this morning because we were set to head out in the truck some time today and I only have 21 days from date of purchase for a return. And they'll only refund me if something is found wrong with it by Tech Support, otherwise I pay a restocking fee of 15%.

My mom had left with the kids (not mine) and I got mine settled with snacks and a movie so I could make my uninterrupted phone call.

Starting at 8:10 I was not through with them until 3:30.

No joke.

Oh how I wish I were.

At about 11 I was bawling. A complete wreck. At one point I had been transferred to Dell Latin America Supporte. No freakin joke. One of the 8 people I'd been transferred to kept asking me to repeat my name because he couldn't understand me through my snot nosed, sobbing mess. I spoke with him for approximately two hours. I kept saying I wanted to return it, he kept saying they would fix it. I didn't want it fixed. I just wanted it gone and without having to pay the restocking fee.

He puts me on hold.

Shocking. It'd only been the 37th time so far and there were more to come.

He comes back on the line, says he spoke with his supervisor and what if they sent me a BRAND NEW laptop in place of my refurbished one?

I asked the all important question.

"will it still be orange?"

"jess, jess. Eet wheel steel bee orange."

Whew.

I asked if I could keep this piece of junk til the new one came.

"jess, jess."

He asked if I wanted everything else the same and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, " jess, jess."

I just said, "yes, that'd be great."

And that was that.

1 pm and finally I was done. I felt a little better but not 100%. I remembered there was a feature I didn't like and wondered if I could have it changed.

Each time I had been put on hold they ran through the same commercial thingys and kept saying I could use Dell Chat Support online. My ear hurt from being on the phone all day so I thought chat would be easier.

Man, am I glad I decided to do that.

I get in touch with a girl and shortly into our chat she realizes there is a problem. She asks if I have been given a reference # stating I have a new laptop coming in exchange for my refurb.

Uh, no.

She comes back after a couple of minutes and says there is no record of my conversation with Ahminidad. (or whatever his name was.)

She apologizes and transfers me to her supervisor.

He apologizes profusely and asks what I'd like to do.

I tell him I'd like to just return it but I don't want to pay the restocking fee. He says I will get a full refund but can't promise I won't pay the fee.

So, I tell him that I would then like a code to give to customer care so that I was sure not to have to pay it.

And he gave me one. Thank You, Lord!

I had to call customer care where I was then transferred three more times.

All is good. Nemo will return to the ocean and I don't have to pay a dime.

Whew.

Have I mentioned I have not had Starbucks in TWO DAYS!!!???

Ahem. Anyway...

But then I had another issue to deal with. The air card I'd purchased on Saturday from AT&T. It comes with a 2 yr contract. Ugh. I call my rep who sold me my phone and then the air card and he assures me I can bring it in for a refund.

So, on our way to Idaho tonight in the Peterbilt with our trailers, Josh dumps me off in the suicide lane and I run to AT&T. My guy is there. And says he'll override the air card restocking fee (what the heck is it with THOSE!?) and that he'll refund everything and I am good to go.

I call Josh to come get me and while on the phone with him and walking down the sidewalk there are some bushes. Inside the bushes...a twenty dollar bill.

How cool is that?

And how cool is it that on the back of this twenty dollar bill it says, "in God we trust."

I've had a crappy day. Not only with Dell but with stuff going on at my house. I've been wondering how much more of this I can take.

I don't know if the Lord's just tryin' to pay me off ;) or if He gave me that note to remind me to trust Him and uh, maybe to get myself a coffee in the morning.



-- Post From My iPhone

Hoard Stuff I'm dealing with

Since being here the last couple of months my mom, on two different occasions has said how we have a lot of stuff. I don't think she meant is as hurtful but I was taken aback by it both times.

Hurt.

Guarded.

But she's right. We do have a lot of stuff. Some of it may actually be something else that starts with S that doesn't end in tuff but more like hit.

Ahem.

Growing up we moved a lot. And since we were never in one place for very long, it was easy to not accumulate sh, err..stuff.

And since she still moves around a lot, she still doesn't accumulate stuff. In fact, every time she moves, she downsizes.

But you see, Josh and I have lived in this house 9.5 years. And we have an unfinished 1100 sq ft. basement.

It begs us to put stuff in it.

And we oblige.

I don't believe I'm anything near those people you see on Oprah or Dr. Phil but I'm realizing that I do have a tendency to hoard things.

And I don't know if it stems from not being able to keep things while growing up or if it's just because I'm a freakin' pack rat. (I almost said pack mule) =)

I'm not the only one though, my husband is collector as well. (like how I changed it from hoarder to collector? makes me feel better.)

He collects things like tools, scrap metal, engines, oil, screws, camping equipment, and life jackets. But I suppose we shouldn't get rid of those life jackets, huh? Since ya just never know...

I'm more of a collector of household goods, scrapbook supplies, my girls' baby clothes and size 2 jeans and size small shirts. Because SOMEDAY my goodness I WILL wear them again!!!

Today though, I am getting ready for my mom and the kids to return. I have been sleeping in her room all week because it's quite warm upstairs and it's crowded up there. So, I'm getting laundry done and realizing how many clothes we have, how many toys we have, how many of everything we have. And that's not including that basement down there!

So, the girls and I went upstairs today and I started going through all.of.our.clothes.

Heavens.

Man, we have a lot of clothes. Josh actually probably has the most, with Spice coming in at a close second. Sugar has clothes but not many that fit her. Her birthday is coming, so I'm not out buying her much for summer clothes just yet. I have the least amount of clothes...that fit. In the basement I have a tub (possibly two) full of clothes from my glory days. The days of being a size 2. I hold on to those clothes. And that's not right. It's quite obvious I have issues with them.

Serious issues. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be that size again. So why have I kept them these last four years?

I don't know.

It's time. It's time they go. I don't know if I'm going to try to eBay them or if I should just donate 'em.

Another area I collect, is scrapbook supplies. I have myself a love for all things paper, acrylics, accessories, and more paper. I've talked many times about doing away with all of it. But I've invested a few grand, literally, in scrapbook supplies and I just can't let it go. At least not right now. So, I've made the decision to just not buy any more. Not until I feel like I've used what I have. Such a hard decision.

While upstairs cleaning this morning I told Sugar we were going to go through her toys. I sat her down and explained to her that many children do not have toys and that we were very blessed to have all the toys we do. I told her the things we'd be keeping for sure, like her Hot Wheels and her books but that she was going to need to pick out three things to keep and the rest would be given to other little kids. At first her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly regained her composure.

She chose her Noah's Ark toy.

It comes with the Ark and 592 other little pieces.

She's quick.

After that she picked her tea cup set that Amber gave her for her Christmas.

It comes with 327 little pieces.

Smart kid I have.

She couldn't decide on her third item. So we went outside for a bit, then made lunch and now they are down for naps.

I've been in the process throughout writing out this post, of switching laundry, doing dishes, ironing and going through the clothes. Whether clothes fit the girls or not, I'm not going to be keeping all that we have. I'll keep all of Spice's new clothes from her birthday (she got a ton!) and I'll keep out some play clothes, a probably five nicer outfits. But the rest needs to go. Shoes included. Sugar has quite a few pair(s?) most of which do not fit (too big) but I keep them, thinking, someday she'll fit into them. I need to realize that the Lord provides for all of our needs and I don't need to be hoarding shoes that won't fit her until she's 8.

This is a hard thing.

The last hard thing I'm dealing with. The hardest thing.

And unless you have this same addiction, you just won't get it and I don't expect anyone to, I just don't want to be made to feel any sillier than I already do.

It's my coffee habit.

It costs me, on average $120 a month to drink coffee. Rather, it costs me $120 a month to drink Starbucks coffee.

I had said at the beginning of the week that I wouldn't have it this week. I even bought Folgers to make myself some home brew but not once did I make it.

Josh asked me today how it was going with the whole coffee deal. I got defensive. And shortly after we hung up.

He called later to apologize.

Are you kidding me, why was HE apologizing. He said he felt bad leaving things on a negative note while he's away. Man, he's amazing. He said the coffee thing was my deal, that he was glad I could have it and that it was a choice I needed to make.

The only reason I went today was because I was lonely and bored and at Starbucks they like me and I run into people from town that I know and I get some social interaction!!!

Whew, I'm outta breath over that.

Honestly though. Even though somehow I afford it every month, I shouldn't. And it's become a habit instead of a treat.

Sorry, this is super long post of America. Just (quite) a few things I needed to get out there. You know, for some accountability I suppose.

Dude, the Mother of all Birthday Presents

If we're friends on Facebook, you already know what Josh's birthday gift to me was.

And if we're not friends on FB, then that's what this post is all about!

For several months and then very much so in these last couple of months, I have been wanting a laptop.

And not just any laptop.

An orange one.

My only requirements were that it be Dell and...orange.

But pretty, colored ones cost more money. Usually. And the one I'd wanted was about 1700 smacks. Holy smokes.

I just don't think so. I wasn't even willing to spend half that.

In all honesty, after my amazing husband bought me an iPhone, I didn't think I'd be getting a laptop til my 93rd birthday.

But lo and behold!

I was wrong!

(mark your calendars, because that doesn't happen very often!)

I came home for my birthday. I wasn't too excited about spending it in the truck since it was a git 'er done time of the week. If we'd had some down time, I would have been all about it, knowing that my husband would treat me to dinner somewhere fun. But the way the schedule was working out, he'd be treating me to a coupla truck stop burritoes with a fountain drink and since we were low on plastic bags, I opted to go home for my birthday.

I'm such a drag, huh?

He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn't have to tell him, he's no dummy. (though he's been called a "Dumb Truck Driver")

Josh told me we'd go shopping on Saturday. He didn't say what for.

But I'm no dummy!

I started looking on Dell's Outlet website and found 'er. The sweet love of my life.

I am sooo computer illiterate it's not even funny. I have no idea what I have in my hands other than that she's 17" of pure Tangerine Orange bliss!

I wish I could show you pictures. But I'm too lazy to get my camera. If we're FB friends, I'll be uploading them to there for you to have a look-see.

No hate mail, please. I already know I am a spoiled rotten brat. But, you see, I'm okay with that. After 11 years of marriage, he still spoils me.

And I'm okay with that!

It wasn't an easy decision. I have a harder time spending money when we have it. It's a weird thing I have. If the money isn't there to spend, well then let's go shopping! But if I have it, I think of every blasted thing I could be doing with the money. I had quite a list going and I'm so thankful to FB friends who encouraged me. =) So, the list of stuff I could have done with laptop money will have to wait until apple harvest when Josh is putting in crazy hours. Our next fatty paycheck is all his.

He plans to buy a turbo for Suburban. Can you hear Tim Allen right now? Me too.

I will post a picture of Nemo soon. Promise.

Yes, Nemo.

Sugar just saw that movie for the first time and when I opened the box, she asked me what her name was. Since she's Tangerine Orange, I was thinking Tang would be fun. Sugar disagreed.

"No, no, Mama, her name is Nemo. Because she's orange!"

Alright, kid.

So, Nemo it is.

Honest Henry

*no one but my sister, Megan, would understand the title to this post. Sadly, she never reads my blog. But I'm titling it that anyway because it cracks me up.*

I'm home this week.

And shhh, don't tell anyone...but it feels GLORIOUS!

My mom and the kids aren't here. Well, mine are but the other three are not.

So, it's pretty quiet around here. Besides the neighbors blaring music in Spanish that is.

While I'm lonely without my husband around, I'm truly enjoying being home. It's nice to cook meals on solid ground. It's nice to eat at the table. I loved checking my mail today even though nothing exciting was in there. I hung out at my house. I brushed my teeth. *gasp* I showered. I drove a car.

Things that are taken so for granted normally. I think checking the mail and driving are the biggest things I miss. I love to drive. I love to check the mail. And anymore, I only drive a couple of days a week and when I get home on Fridays, my mail is piled up on the counter waiting for me. (Last week a jumping spider was in the mix.) (I 'bout peed my pants over it.)

(I don't like spiders!!!)

At the beginning of last week I had started a post from my phone. A gut wrenching honest post about how I feel about this truck life we're living.

I'd spent close to an hour on the blasted thing (it takes awhile when you're posting with your thumbs) and then wham! Something happened and it was gone.

I almost swore.

Which I don't do often (except recently in Scrabble games) (I blame Emily.)

So, here's the honest truth.

I hate trucking.

WHEW! That felt amazing! Huge weight lifted off me.

But you wanna know what else?

I love it.

No, seriously. I do. I have a love/hate relationship with many things. And trucking is added to that list.

I love McDonald's french fries but hate the fact that the last 4 years of eating them are sitting on each thigh...and quite possibly each butt cheek. (nice mental picture, eh?)

I love Starbucks but hate that it drains my children's college fund.

I love Emily but hate that she kicks my butt at Scrabble, constantly.

So, I can love and hate my truck life.

We have good weeks and we have bad weeks. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to call it quits. Ready to be D-O-N-E.

I'd had it. We'd left on a Sunday and didn't get home until Saturday. Loooong week. Yes, I'd gotten showers in that week. You know, like one. Possibly two.

The thing I hate most about being in the truck would have to be trying to cook or get food ready while driving. I hate standing in the truck while it's moving. Makes me mad because many times I've tripped and I don't like that.

The thing I love most about being in the truck would have to be the time spent together. The sights we see. The places we stop, however brief, just to get out, stretch our legs and of course snap some pictures.

My husband is absolutely loving life. I haven't seen him this happy since...well, since the day before he quit trucking last time. It's what he was made to do.

And seeing him happy like this is worth every bit of the inconveniences I'm facing.

I'll do it even though it's even numbers

I have a thing for numbers and I prefer them to be odd. Shocking, huh?

But Tiffany tagged me to do an 8's meme and since I'm all about those, I'll do it even though it's the number 8. Which I loathe.

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. My birthday. (even though it's 360 days away)

2. Camping trip with Emily and her fam.

3. Trip to Pacific City in August

4. Josh to be home. He left this morning and we won't likely see him til Friday. Boo.

5. My 11 year wedding anniversary.

6. FedEx delivery on Thursday.

7. Meeting up with my B&SIL and sweet niece for a picnic in the park this evening.

8. And of course NKOTB in July with Amber. (yes, we're going again)

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Went to church.

2. Did dishes.

3. Held a baby boy and may or may not have considered putting him in my purse.

4. Mowed my backyard.

5. Went to the park and watched Josh be superdad.

6. Felt sorry for myself that my husband was leaving.

7. Considered going to Starbucks...but didn't.

8. Threw my arms around Josh when he said he called his boss and asked if he could leave at 4 am this morning instead of yesterday afternoon!

Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. I wish I could stop chewing my fingernails.

2. I wish I could do blog designs for funsies.

3. I wish I were 115 lbs again. (kids, were they worth it?!)

4. I wish I didn't have to fight the urge to go to Starbucks. But I'm not gonna do it this week! (shud it, I'm not!)

5. I wish I could re-live three years of my life and do them over. (I know the past is passed, but sometimes man, sometimes...)

6. I wish that from the beginning of our marriage that I'd been a good steward of the money Josh made.

7. I wish Spice would quit waking up at 4:30 am.

8. I wish I could scrapbook, efficiently. (Instead I stew over the pictures I have, the product I have and the lack of git 'er done.)

8 Shows I Watch:

Um, I don't.

8. Favorite Fruits:

1. Strawberries

2. Pineapple

3. Bananas (but only if they're dipped in chocolate..other than that, they give me the shivers)

4. Peaches (but only in cobbler)

5. Okay, I think I'm just not a big fruit girl, I can think of a ton of veggies I love but fruit...not so much.

8 Places I'd Like to Travel:

1. Florida to visit friends.

2. New York

3. North Carolina

4. Africa (so I can meet that little boy I love)

5. A mission trip, anywhere.

6. San Juan Islands

7. Hawaii (I'd love to spend our 15th anniversary here)

8. Tennessee (so many bloggy friends there that I'd LOVE to meet!)

8 Places I've Lived:

This one CRACKS me up. I could fill this section out probably 4 times. So I'll just go with one town, the town I started school in and finished school in but not necessarily the town I lived in my whole life. =)

1. I lived on 5th street in a trailer park.

2. I lived at 1207 Stassen in a trailer park.

3. But a few years before that I lived in...another trailer across the street. Too little at the time to know that address.

4. I lived here...

What's that you ask? Oh, just a place fondly known as the corner store. Where you can get 2 burritos and a 32 oz. soda for 1.99

Yes, I really lived there.

5. I lived at 908 Acoma Dr. my freshman year

6. I lived at 312 Cedar St. my sophmore year (then we moved to another town for my part of my junior yr but I still went to the same school)

7. I lived at 205 Elm St. for another part of my junior year and then...

8. We moved across the street to 208 Elm St. for the duration of my high school career. (My mom ended up living there for five years. The longest she'd ever lived anywhere.)

Just one town. And that's not all the houses in that town. I know there were a couple of others from when I was a toddler and another when I was in Kinder.

I know I'm supposed to tag 8 peeps but I'll just let you do it on your own if you choose. Let me know if you've done it so I can head on over and read your fun answers!

Another Change of Name

I started my blog almost three years ago.

When I first started 'er, she was titled "Organized Chaos" but hello, that was just silly. It should have just been titled, "Chaos" since there's absolutely nothing organized about me.

Then I moved on to, "The Front Porch" and I had it that way for probably a year and a half. I still like that name and what it stood for, since I really feel a front porch is important (even though we don't really have one.)

And then, I read a book that talked about "this Beautiful Mess" and if you've read the book, you know what I'm talkin' about. I don't really like the drama the book stirred up and looking back, it's not that I liked or didn't like the book, it's that I liked the beautiful mess part of it. Enough so that I changed my blog title to it.

But I'm in a new season. Even though I'm still a mess (you're all nodding, I can see you!) our little family is literally shifting gears.

We were blessed with a weekend away last weekend. A weekend on the beach. And as we were leaving, heading back to our truck, Josh says, "little house on the highway."

And it fit.

And I knew I needed to change my blog name.

I had thought I needed a new blog address and all that, but I'm just going to stay here at the joshua 24-15 because that verse is still very much what we aspire to live for.

Little House on the Highway. Oh, yes, we are!

My header is in the process. I'm not smart enough to know how to do it and too cheap to pay someone. I have a friend who does it for me...fo' free! (Hey, Melis...SBUX next time yer in town, 'k?)

Thank you for the birthday wishes, I had an awesome, love-filled day! I have the best friends ever!

At 29

At 29 I love Starbucks. I never thought I would. I was wrong.

At 29 my favorite color (red) is quickly being ousted by burnt orange. Whodda thunk?

At 29 my hair is longer than it's ever been and I wear it curly more often than not. I'm embracing the curly and letting go of the fact that I'll never have tame, manageable, straight hair.

At 29 flip flops are on the Top 5 of my favorite things about summer. Okay, maybe Top 3. Oh, who am I kidding? Flip flops are my favorite thing about summer!

At 29 I have quite a few gray hairs in my head. I love them and am not ashamed of them and have decided not to color my hair anymore.

At 29 I live in a Peterbilt with my family of four. The first couple of weeks were glorious and I thought it was cake. I was wrong. It's hard, man. Real. Hard.

At 29 I have been a wife for nearly 11 years (July!) and I cannot believe that I still am not good at it. After 11 years, I'm getting better...but definitely am not good. Sigh...

At 29 I love to blog, Facebook and Twitter.

At 29 I wonder if I'll have more babies. Why is my heart so conflicted?

At 29 I am 25 lbs overweight. You'd think after fours of it, I'd be sick of it and do something. You'd think wrong. I've yet to do anything about it but complain.

At 29 I have more friends than I've had in my life. Some IRL, some bloggy. But still, more friends than I've had ever. I'm lovin' this part of 29.

At 29 I have two daughters. One who's easy going. And one who's, um...not.

At 29 I have been a believer for 15 years. I still don't pray or read my bible daily. He still loves me. Thank God!

At 29 I live in the upstairs of my house. It's 495 sq. ft. and currently (as in right this very minute) it's about 90 degrees up here. I live up here because my sister's kids and my mother live in the main portion of my house. They live here because my BIL had a bone marrow transplant. Today.

At 29 I am not clever enough to come up with 29 things about myself. I'm boring as all get out. But that's okay. Boring's good. Right? RIGHT?!

At 29 this is my best friend and me, today.

On my birthday.

In the Nick of Time

One of my favorite things about blogging has been making friends with all the other bloggers. Girls who make me laugh, cry, think, and purdy much every other emotion.

Then ya get to the point where you email back and forth, chat on the phone, send birthday gifts (thank you, emily!) and the most blessed event of all......

Meeting in real life!!!

I have a sweet bloggy friend who lives just five hours south of me. And I have taken for granted that we'd just meet up someday since she's not too far.

Then I found out she was moving to Texas and girls, my heart hurt and I got a little weepy!

So, I prayed for a miracle that somehow I'd be able to meet her before she moved.

We spent the weekend in Newport, the Oregon Coast! This morning I get a text from Josh's boss saying our pick up is in Linda's town!

I had goosebumps and got teary all over again. I emailed her immediately and that sweet girl made time to come see us!

She brought her boys with her and I am in the works of arranging a couple of marriages.


Someday I am going to be the tall friend! (yeah, right)

Thank you, Linda for plan A, B, and finally C! =). It was so wonderful to hug you and hear your sweet voice!

And thank You, Jesus, for answering this girls prayer!

So, if I could link with my phone I would. But I am not that brilliant. Go see Linda at www.growinwithit.blogspot.com

-- Post From My iPhone

Philippians 1:6

"being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

I am so thankful for this verse. So short. So simple.

So full of His promise.

No matter the age-two, 12, 37, 56, 95...you accept Jesus, He has started a good work in you and He is going to carry out that good work.

I was 14 when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I was on a school bus with a bunch of other kids my age that I had just recently met. A youth group. Soon to be my favorite group of people for the next fours and then some.

We were on our way home from David's Hangar, a place for youth. I don't remember what we did there, I only remember the trip home.

I know that in those few short weeks since I'd started going to church, I felt a peace I had never known before. And that evening I decided that maybe, just maybe it was from this church stuff. So, sitting there, in a seat by myself (i think David Pillers was behind me and Linds across from me) I quietly prayed that Jesus would save me.

And He did.

In the last 15 years I have not once worked for my salvation. I have done just the opposite so many times. I have failed Him, but He's never failed me. I spent a few years running. I did everything I could to forget the Jesus Who loved me. I avoided church, I spoke less with my Christian friends and made new friends. Friends that didn't know Jesus and if they did (like myself) they were running too.

I will spare you details (for now) but basically, Philippians 1:6 is how I see my life. He started a good work in me and though I tried my darndest to make Him love me less and let me go, He kept His promise.

And now the real reason for this post.

Monday evening we stopped in Post Falls for dinner at a rest area and to let the girls play for a bit.

By the time we left it was time to set up beds and get the girls bunked down for the night.

Sugar asked if we could read from her Bible.

She picks which book of the bible she wants to read from by the pictures. She's flipping through and sees Jesus carrying the Cross up a hill.

'Mama, I want to read this one.'

She's looking at the picture. A very simple picture. A Man, a cross and a crown of thorns. There's no blood, no sweat, no crowds yelling, spitting or mocking.

But the picture touches her heart.

Pointing to the crown of thorns, she asks, 'Does that hurt Him? Does that hurt Jesus?'

I tell her yes, it hurts Him very bad and makes Him bleed.

'Is that cross heavy for Him?'

I am amazed at what she thinks about.

'Yes, that cross is heavy.'

'Well then, maybe Daddy can carry it for him!'

Oh, sweet girl.

We spend the next few minutes talking about why Jesus died. To save us from our sins, He died so we could go to Heaven and live with Him forever.

'Yeah! Forever!' she says so excitedly.

She tells me, 'God is in our hearts, right Mama?'

'Well, after we ask Him into our hearts, yes.'

'Okay, I will! I want to!'

And so, in the sleeper of a 1997 Peterbilt, I prayed with my sweet almost four year old and she asked Jesus into her heart.

'Can I tell Daddy?' and she jumps up and tells Josh how Jesus died on a cross but He's alive and in our hearts.

And I think my heart has never been more full.

She's not yet four. She has a whole lotta life waiting for her. Temptations of this world. Sometimes it's so easy to turn your back on the Truth. But I cling to not only Philippians 1:6 but Proverbs 22:6 as well.

'Train up a child in the way he (or she) should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.'

We're raising her to know Jesus. But there will come a day when she'll need to find a faith outside of ours. A faith in Jesus all her own.

And Monday night was just her beginning.



-- Post From My iPhone

Resigned

I've said it before.

Growing up all ever wanted was to be a wife and mama.

When I had Sugar all was right in my world. Beyond thrilled to be a mama.

I'd been a wife for seven years and now the second part of my dream had come true.

Very early on we could see that lil Sugar was Miss Independent. She slept in her crib, through the night at just five weeks old. She preferred to go to bed while still awake and fall asleep on her own.

No rocking, please.

Another thing we noticed early on, and anyone who has seen the two of them together could tell you-Sugar has a very special relationship with her daddy.

I don't have the words to express how thankful, how blessed I am, to see that.

Are you sensing a 'but....' comin' on?

=)

But it's hard. So early on I have felt she doesn't need me. And lately, I have felt she doesn't even WANT me. Her attitude, tone of voice and the looks...

I feel resentment from her.

Yet the girl loves on her daddy.

I don't know what to do.

My heart aches. A couple of weeks ago we were driving (what's new, right?) and she just had such attitude with me. I didn't know what to do. I sat her in my lap, held her and the tears came in torrents.

Silent tears.

But if the breaking of my heart were audible, it'd be deafening.

I guess the reason I share this very private pain, that's no longer very private, is because I need prayer and wisdom.

It's a daily, no-hourly thing to hear the enemy whisper in my ear that I am a failure as a mother, should never have been a mother, and that, in fact-Sugar does NOT need me and would be better off without me.

But this pain and these thoughts are starting to be too much.









-- Post From My iPhone

When the Flips Were a Flop

Last week we unloaded some pipe in Pocatello, ID. I googled the nearest Starbucks to my location and found that it was only a mile away.

Spice was sleeping and Josh was unloading, so I thought it'd be some good Mama/Sugar time, along with good exercise.

The morning was beautiful and we set out on our walk.

Both of us wearing flip flops.

Neither of us realizing that wasn't such a hot idea.

Within five minutes Sugar wants to be "helded" because her feet were tired.

I helded her because there will come a day, all too soon, where she does not want to be helded anymore.

We continued for awhile like that until my back couldn't take it anymore and then down she went to walk beside me.

She complained about her feet hurting so I told her she could take her flips off. This was okay until we had to cross a busy highway. Then back on the shoes went.

My flips had rubbed an ugly blister on my right foot, so after we got our coffee and left the store, I took my flips off too.

Oh, mercy!

We fueled up that evening and were awarded a free shower and one free dinner. You spend 600 bucks on fuel and waa laa!

After my shower my blister was raw and extremely painful. I had no other shoes with me last week. It's after Feb. 1st, all I wear until the first snow is flips.



Josh offered to trade me shoes until we got back to the truck. He's sweet like that. He looked ridiculous and hilarious. But it was just to the truck, right?

Um, no.

We got side tracked with free dinner and wound up in a restaurant full of other truckers.

Truckers that weren't wearing their wives' flip flops.

Josh is such a good sport. He didn't care.

This week I have a pair of tennies in case I need to make another long trek for my coffee.

Or an outhouse.


-- Post From My iPhone

Dear Mr. Weekend

It was nice to see you even if it was for such a short time.

We met so early on Friday morning that I thought our weekend was going to be GREAT. Ohhh how I didn't realize what was in store.

Friday night we (you Mr. Weekend and my dear hubs) were to go on a date but the children prevented such fun and we had to stay home and cook. Friday night also provided some not so quiet time with my mother. Only she can make me laugh that hard.

We got up early, Mr. Weekend, as we had many things to get accomplished before BFF's shindig at noon.

We raced around like chickens with our heads cut off. Me, making one dozen breakfast burritos. A half dozen egg mcmuffin sandwiches, and a bajillion french toast sticks to put in the freezer. While the hubs was playing with and answering questions of the children (5 of them) and fixing sprinkler pipes.

The joys of home ownership.

After free lunch and booze, I mean...a 6th birthday party, we were headed home to see you, Mr. Weekend, only to find that the trailers holding our 60,000 lb load of lumber had sunk into the ground.

Oh, Mr. Weekend, if you could have been there for those three hours in the hot sun while my amazing in-laws spent their afternoon giving of themselves (as usual) and how my children sat in my van while it idled for those three hours, playing and having fun. While my husband and his dad worked jacks this way and that way, with smiles on their faces as sweat poured off their heads.

After those three hours of intense labor, we got the trailers out.

And we headed home with thankful hearts. Thankful to God that we were able to fix the problem without damage, thankful for my in-laws who, without fail, are there to help at the drop of a hat.

Mr. Weekend, I want to be like them when (if) I grow up.

We went home to cook more meals, fix more pipes, play with more children. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Today is Sunday, your last day here, Mr. Weekend, and I'm sad to see you go. Time at home is insane and so short but I enjoy it. We went to church this morning and loved every minute there. We came home to get the truck cleaned up, laundry complete, another meal made, kitchen cleaned, baby pool filled and played in before we headed back to church for a concert.

And now, Mr. Weekend it's 10:30 and my children are snoring in the sleeper, my husband is filling the truck with diesel and we have to make a service call to fix one of the tires on the trailer that has cords showing through the tread.

We have a five hour drive tonight that will likely take us seven with the service call.

Goodnight, Mr. Weekend, see you in five days!





-- Post From My iPhone

Ahem

I realize I am a poor blogger lately. Sorry. It's not easy to blog from my phone and when I'm home, I have zero time to use my computer.

Just wanted to let you know we've been to WA, OR, ID and this morning we were in UT. We have driven over 2000 miles so far this week.

I have zero funny stories. For which, I am thankful.

Josh and I both woke on Wednesday morning to awful head colds. Obviously we've been making out with the same person since we both have it.

I'm not a fan of being sick and my husband is an awful sick person. It's horrible to watch someone who is normally so go-go-go be kinda blah. And he just doesn't know how to deal.

I am glad that, so far, the girls have remained healthy.

We should be home early tomorrow. Yay!

Okay. That's it. Post over.

I am so boring.




-- Post From My iPhone

No other use

I just finished changing Spice's stinky diaper.

I grab a plastic bag to put it into.

Sugar sees me with the plastic bag.

"Are you going potty?"

I don't think any of us will look at plastic bags the same.

(if you don't know what I'm referring to, scroll down to the TMI post)

(um, or don't)


-- Post From My iPhone

Catching Up

I could scream.

I just finished a really long post complete with pictures and everything and lost connection and nothing saved.

Insert cuss words.

Sorry for the sporadic posting. Drives me crazy when bloggers do that and now I have become that person.

Please forgive me.

It's Thursday night at 10:45 pm. We are stopped at a rest area in Battle Ground. Husband says we're in WA but I am so disoriented I have no clue. I just used the restroom and on my way back to the truck I slipped in some mud.

At least I'm hoping it was mud.

And at a rest area, is it just me or is this sign outta place:







Do they expect everyone to carry plastic bags with them at all times?

Moving on...

Yesterday was my first day back in the truck in over a week. Josh had dropped Spice and me at home last Monday so I could get stuff ready for our beach vacation. We were to leave Thursday afternoon but that was not to be.

By 10 am Josh and Sugar were broke down on one the busiest and deadliest highways in Washington.

3 hours from home.

His boss came with another truck and trailer to haul him back, he called me to pick him up and we didn't get home until 1:30 am on Friday.

We were slow in getting to the beach and it felt good. Normally we are so destination bound that we forget to just enjoy the getting there. It was a nice change of pace.

We stopped for lunch at a place that had a monkey inside. No, really. Look.





We got to the beach and had awesome weather on Friday. I thought Spice would hate the sand, I was wrong.








She liked it so much she ate it.

And Sugar loves the beach as well.





For lunch on Saturday we ate at The Pelican. Spice gnawed on some lemon and seemed to enjoy it. No sour face from the sour puss.




On our way home we stopped at Multnomah Falls.










The next day lil Spice turned ONE! She deserves a proper birthday post, so I will wait til we have party pictures for that. Here are a couple from her birthday morning opening a gift from her aunt.








And I thought she'd be thrilled at a forward facing carseat but I was wrong about that, too.




"eh, whatever."

And now I leave you with a treat from tonight.

I was about to make dinner a la McDonald's and happened upon this gentleman who was so excited about cozyin' up for a movie that he wore his jammy pants to McDonald's to rent one.






You're welcome.

-- Post From My iPhone

Flipped Out

Or did I flop out?

Either way, I'm a flake.

And I apologize to bloggy friends, Linda and Michelle for not posting this back on the 22nd like I was supposed to.

Linda hosted a flip-flop frenzy. She asked if any girlies wanted to join her in sending and receiving some fun snail mail of flip flops.

Um, heck yes!

A few of us agreed and she paired us up with another bloggy girl.

I received not just one pair of flips from Michelle but TWO! And polish!!

Here I am sporting the brown pair, I think Spice was eating the orange pair.



Are you enamored with my cankles? Or the hairy legs? Oh, both!? =)

So, if you don't know who Linda is, head over to www.growinwithit.blogspot.com

And you can find Michelle at www.raisinglittlewomen.com

Thank you, Linda, for hosting and thank you, Michelle for adding two pairs of flips to my collection!

*i can't make links from my iPhone*

-- Post From My iPhone

The TMI Post

I've received emails and calls about why I haven't blogged in nearly a week.

I think this is the longest I've gone without blogging in a looong time.

I was trying to explain to a friend why I haven't been around.

Part of it is because I worry I will bore you with truck stories...or gross you out (oh the things I've withheld on the bloggy for your benefit).  I have to remind myself often that this blog is for my girls. Journal of our lives through my eyes. Many things we've experienced they'll be too young to remember, this blog is for them to know all we've experienced or endured and gotten through, by the grace of God.

All of you have been so encouraging to me, of our new way of life, and our soon to be roommates.

But it's hard on a daily basis to throw out there the thoughts (and sometimes actions) of my heart. My heart can be very ugly and it's quite embarrassing to see so often in my entries. I fear people getting sick of my moaning and groaning and truck stories and just giving up on my blog altogether.

Not that I wouldn't understand!

However, I want my girls and my husband, too, should he ever read this, to see where I have been emotionally, spiritually and physically and hopefully see growth.
Run on sentence!

Okay, enough about that, how about some truck stories? FYI, you may want to click that little X at the top right and leave now while you have the chance.
*
*
*
There was your warning time.

I am not the type of person who embarrasses easily. I don't shy away from talking about personal stuff, in person. On the blog, I keep it pretty tame. But my family talks about burping, farting, potty, poop, s*x, oh and of course the ever wonderful menstrual cycle.

There's just not much that gets held back.

To me, there is really no such thing as TMI also known as Too Much Information.

But I know that some people have a harder time talking about or hearing about those certain topics. I try to be respectful of that.

And that's why I am giving you yet another chance to leave the blog before I tell you something that was actually embarrassing for me.

Rest areas are hard to come by. What's even harder to come by is a husband who will stop so you can use them. He does pretty well but miles are money and if the truck stops so do the miles.  I use most every opportunity I can to use the restroom.  But sometimes I find I have to potty between stops and I can usually hold it just fine.

#2 is, um, a different story.

When I gotta go...I gotta go.

(last chance to leave the blog)

It was the end of our first week. We were out in the middle of Nowhere, Idaho at a lumber yard. All lumber yards require hard hats for you to step out of your rig.

We only have one hard hat.

My husband was wearing it.

He's strapping the load (snort) and as he comes by my side of the truck he asks how I am doing. I had been fine until a few seconds before. I told him I had to go to the bathroom.

"Pee?" he asks. I shake my head. He's a quick study and knew what I meant.

He starts running. He's strapping the lumber, working as quickly as he can.

But I quickly realized I was not going to be able to wait.

Panic set in.

I started to sweat.

And I realized my only option.

A plastic bag.

I had enough time to put Sugar in Josh's seat, close myself behind the sleeper curtain and then use the um, makeshift restroom.

Spice was on the bottom bunk of the sleeper, pulling herself up on me and babbling, she thought it was a hoot I was on her level, while Sugar is up front, yelling, "Mama, what are you doing back there? Are you okay? I want to come back there!"

Here I am. Squatting. Waiting for someone to pinch me and wake me from this nightmare that is currently my life.

But it was my reality.

I finished what needed finishing.

Tied up the bag.

Sprayed some Scentsy freshener and watched as my husband continued to scramble about the lumber.

He gets done and comes into the cab.

"I don't need to go anymore." I tell him.

"Did you poop your pants?!" he asks and I can tell he's sad and horrified for me.

"Nope, in this bag," I tell him as I lift it up.

I wanted to die. It's funny after twelve years, two kids, and two surgeries I can still get embarrassed in front of him.

But I doo.

Don't you wish you lived in a semi too?

-- Post From My iPhone

That Number

So, I may have mentioned yesterday that I need a number done on my heart.

Stat.

And man, does God deliver!

You would think sleeping in my own bed would mean that I'd get a good night of rest.

Not so.

When you're filled with guilt and frustration and anger and self pity, you no sleepy berry well.

This morning when I finally pulled myself from bed at 5 am, I opened up the Bible my mom has in the house.

A couple of weeks ago Josh had given me some verses that he really had been clinging to, to know that we are doing what the Lord wants us to do as far helping my mom and sister.

Reading them this morning, begging the Lord to just please fix me, He opened my eyes and my heart to these verses in a new way.

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion-how can God's love be in that person? Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will stand confident before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:16-20 NLT

Hellooo, Sarah.

I know what real love is. I need to extend it.

I kept wrestling with the Lord this morning (funny picture, huh) and kept telling Him how this was all going to change and how my stuff won't be my stuff and my house won't be my house and waaaaaaa!

And He so gently pointed out that yes there will be change. Yes, this is my stuff. Yes, this is my house. But He gave it to me. He allowed me to have this amazing house and stuff. Ultimately, this house and all that's in it are not mine.

It's all His.

Everything that I have, everything that I am...I want to glorify Him. I've been awful at that.

I want to change that.

So, here I am. Feeling this amazing weight lifted off my shoulders, off my heart. It feels so good. I don't even have words to describe it! For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling JOY!

Am I naive enough to think it's all going to be a breeze from here on out? Not so much. But now that I'm seeing this with a different perspective, it's making things a bit easier. The Lord sees me as...this Beautiful Mess. He's working on my mess.

And I think there's a little bit of progress goin' on.

Invasion

Someone has taken over my thoughts.

Thus taking over my mouth.

Blech.

I wish so much that I was this really nice, wonderful, loving, patient, giving girl.

Um, but I'm not.

I'm horribly, ridiculously selfish and awful.

Remember what's coming up? My mom, niece and nephews are moving in. Not this Saturday but next.

I'm not ready. Not even a little bit. Not only is my house not ready, I'm not ready emotionally. This is a huge step for me. Why??? I DON'T KNOW!!! But I hate it. I hate change. I used to think I looooved it. I'm realizing, painfully, that I'm not in love with change.

Heck, I'm not even in like with change.

So, when I came home this evening to find a chair in my living room that hadn't been in my living room on Sunday evening when I left, I may or may not have had a bit of a panic attack about the whole ordeal.

I also, may or may not have talked to my mom about the fact that she moved that chair from my upstairs to my downstairs.

Yuck.

I'm yuck.

But you see, it's not the chair.

It's all of it. It's the change. The one that is coming at lightning speed. The one that I don't think I'll ever be ready for but is coming nonetheless.

I wish I could just be happy about all of this. Happy to help. Happy. Happy. Happy.

But helloooo, I suck. And I'm selfish. And Jesus really needs to pull a number on me to make me more like Him.

I wish He'd just come back before I finish this sentence so I wouldn't have to worry about it. But He didn't...

Once again...there's more ugliness of me for you to see. If I'm not careful you'll stop coming back.

Okay, I'm done now. I have stuff to do before we leave again in the morning. It was nice to be home this evening.

But I'll be happier once we're back on the road.

Trip down memory lane during the waiting game

Home for 47 hours and then we were headed back out. Josh drove until one am, getting us to the Boise Stage Stop, it's an infamous truck stop in our books.

When Josh was OTR about six years ago he had our Beagle with him. Bailee loved truckin'. She had gone with him for the week and the two of them stopped at Boise Stage because the wind was blowing the tarps off the hay and Josh needed to fix them.

He took Bailee up on the load with him and hay is a very tall load. She was galavanting around when the wind blew her off the truck! She fell about 13 feet. Josh said she limped a bit and he was watching her while he finished with the tarp.

When he was done she was nowhere to be found.

He looked for and called for her for an hour.

No Bailee.

He called me, heartbroken. He couldn't find her but he had to leave.

It was over five hours from our home but I got in the car and drove to the BS stop. I got there after midnight and called for her. Weaving in and out of parked semi trucks with my flashlight.

Nothing.

I sat in my car for a bit trying to warm up and then got back out.

Still nothing.

I was a bawling, blubbering mess.

I gave up and drove home.

Someone suggested we put an ad in the Boise paper, so I did.

Josh and I would talk on the phone that day our hearts so sad and I know he felt so bad.

The next morning at 6 am I got a phone call.

Someone saw my ad and an ad similar, with a found Beagle. They gave me the number and I called immediately.

They had my girl!

He asked me her name and I told him.

"Yep, that perked her ears!" he tells me. I was crying all over again.

They had found her the next day sleeping on the side of the road. It took them half an hour to coax her into their car. She slept all day he said.

We agreed to meet mid afternoon since I had another long drive ahead of me.

I got to the gas station before they arrived and bought Bailee a hotdog and bottle of water. She acknowledged me but that was the extent of it.

She stared out the window the whole way home. Like I was the one who let her fall!

We drove home and Josh was still OTR but man, when he pulled up the driveway she was stoked. She was always his dog.

It was a miracle we got her back.

So, that's why the Boise Stage Stop is an infamous place for us.

As I type we are waiting to hear back about where we are headed next.

I'll keep ya posted!





-- Post From My iPhone

Week One: Done

We are about two hours from home. The home that's not on 26 wheels.

It's been a good week overall and I am glad to say we survived it. Not only did we survive it, we enjoyed it!

Last night we were in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho with a load of lumber scheduled to be dropped this morning. So, we got to hang out for awhile last night. It's not easy to drive around with 68 feet of trailers so we had to find a place to park 'em so we could play around.

The town is touristy but has a small town feel to it. Josh and I honeymooned near there and have always said we wanted to stay in the Coeur d' Alene Resort. We had planned to stay there for our tenth anniversary (which was last July) but instead we had a newborn and I had postpartum. Happy Anniversary to us!

Sugar had been begging all day to play in the water so it totally rocked that the town is on the water. Within seconds of seeing the sand she was off running, sandals being discarded behind her. She puts her feet in the icy water and turns to us with a huge grin on her face.






Josh and I turn to each other and smile.

We turn back toward her and her clothes are off and she's headed back to the water! The area was pretty dead, surprisingly, so we just let her go for it.

"Can you believe we're getting paid to do this?" I asked Josh as we walked along the sand.

He thought for a moment.

"Yeah, I guess we kinda are."



-- Post From My iPhone

The Showering Ceremonies

Can you hear it?

It's the sound of angels singing.

That's right my friends, I am showered.

We finally got to a truck stop.

Not onlythat we got to a truck stop my husband was willing to stop at. Hellooo, it says Truck! Stop!

He no listen berry well.

But this time he did! And since filled up with 200 gallons (yes, 200) we got showers and towels for free! They even gave me towels for the girls.

While thrilled to death to be able to take a shower, the downside was that the showers were in the restrooms, meaning I had to take the girls in with me.

Alone.

If it were a nice, big, clean area this wouldn't be a big deal but picture a phone booth with a dirty cement floor and a shower stall attached to it.

Josh wanted to take Sugar with him but I just wasn't sure what she'd witness in a men's restroom in a truck stop. I'd prefer the craziness that I was about to endure over scarring my 3 year old for life.

So, I gave Josh his toiletries and clothing and then locked myself and the girls in my dirty phone booth shower stall.

Sugar is helpful. She got her own clothes off and stepped in the stall. I managed to get Spice and me in there, too.

As soon as I turn the water it blows out ice cold water all over us.

The girls start bawling. Spice is hysterical and trying to climb up the... uh...mountains and Sugar is calming down since the water is warming up.

I realize I gave the soap to Josh so I had to wash the girls with my Victoria's Secret body wash. I got the shampoo in Sugar's hair and then washed out. Don't forget, holding Spice this entire time. I shampoo my own hair, then condition Sugar. Lather. Rinse. There was no repeat.

When it came time to dry off I wasn't sure how to go about it. I stood there for a moment and realized it'd be best if I got myself dried and dressed first. So I wrapped Sugar in a towel, instructed her to stay in the stall, put Spice on the floor of the stall, causing a new wave of hysterics until I give her a shampoo bottle to play with.

They had given me a hand towel that I decided to use as a bath mat so as not to create mud.

I put on a pair of flips, dried off, went to put on deodorant and realized I didn't get to shave my armpits.

Sigh...

Maybe next week.

I get Sugar dried and dressed. Spice was unhappy to give up the shampoo bottle but I got a diaper and jammies on her.

I cleaned everything up, passed the kids and towels off to Josh. And closed the restroom door.

I needed a minute.

I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror and wondered, "can I do this? Can I really do this?" I wanted to think I would just be a natural at this and that it would just come so easy.

Not the case.

Don't get me wrong, we are having a blast, it's great, just needing to realize it'll take some getting used to.










and we are Idaho bound....

Holy Smelly Mama, Batman

Okay folks, it's day three we're working on with no shower.

This is getting ugly.

And smelly.

My last shower was Sunday morning. I really should have taken the time on Monday before we left to get one in, but I had so many things to do (no comments about how I've had 5 wks to get those things done) that I didn't stop for the three minutes it takes me to shower. (and no comments about how I managed to blog that morning, either)

Obviously this girl has her priorities.

See how much you all mean to me!?

Children are great; napping at the moment. I am trying, so far, to keep our schedule about what it would be at home, you know, since our truck is now home.

We're still about two hours from our destination to drop our load (did that make anyone else but me laugh?) and after dropping our load (dying here) we will HOPEFULLY have time to shower at Natalie's. So thankful for friends who are offering their homes to my sweet family; maybe there's a lesson in there for me about that....

In case you don't believe me here is a picture of my hair. I think you could wring out the grease.





We stopped for lunch about an hour ago and brushed our teeth in the Burger King restroom. Jealous, aren't you?

I figured as much.

I will keep you updated on the shower saga.

Stay tuned.....
-- Post From My iPhone

Day two

By far better than day one. Amazing what no puke can do for all of our moods.

It has been a very long day. The girls were bunked down for bed before 7:30 tonight. We are trying different sleeping arrangements tonight. Last night I tried the top bunk with Spice but she is ridiculously squirmy. Josh ended up bundling her all up and laying her on the floor. (you can call CPS if you'd like, I'll have the kids' bags packed.)
I ended up sleeping with Sugar on the bottom bunk which also is shared with our fridge. Not comfy. Tonight I stuck Sugar up top and Spice fell asleep in her carseat. Josh will sleep up top and we may put the wee babe on the floor again. Just depends on if she will lie still next to me when I bust her out of her seat.

I got an hour nap in today which was nice. Sugar sat up front with Daddy and Spice was napping too.

We have been eating leftover ham from Easter dinner with sliced cheese and Ritz crackers for all our meals. Stinks not having our microwave yet. Looking forward to payday in a couple of weeks....
I had made some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins yesterday before we left so we had those for breakfast. Love those!

We have driven about 400 miles today. Currently we have a load of hay that needs to be up north of Seattle tomorrow. We have about a 500 mile trip ahead of us. To be legal in the log book we need to take it easy getting up there; fudging stuff early on isn't the best idea.
I need to get my license too and then we wouldn't have to worry.

Drives me crazy that we were so close to some of my family and friends in Idaho today yet couldn't stop. We'll be on I-5 tomorrow too and it is such a bummer we most likely won't get to see our friends who live near there.

Because I really need a shower. =)

Couldn't bring myself to pay 9 bucks for one today. Normally when you fill up you get a free shower but Josh filled up last night.
Boo.

Tomorrow I will be willing to pay twenty bucks for a shower.


-- Post From My iPhone

First Load

Our pipe load yesterday wasn't cool but so many of you were praying for us and we were praying, too. This is a picture at a rest area where we stopped to try and adjust it. My husband is part monkey and was climbing up and down the straps (the things we throw over our loads to tie 'em down with) but all his efforts and my fretting, did not help. The pipe is off and as I type we are parked in a WalMart parking lot getting ready to make coffee and brush our teeth.


This bottom picture is from last night. No, they were not sitting on his lap while driving. We were stopped. The girls are doing great. Josh is such a great driver. He didn't stop til around one. And then we were up again by six or so.

Just waiting now to hear about our next load.

Please pray for our girls. They both went and got themselves colds last night and are coughing with runny noses. The nerve.

Have a great day and I'll keep ya posted!

Let's give 'em somethin to blog about

It's about midnight thirty, Idaho time.

I have been up since 5 and I don't like 5. Gives me the shivers.

I am currently blogging from my phone which is no easy feat. I am thankful to be able to do it, but please excuse misspelled words. These letters one this little keyboard are so close together. Or is it that I have fat thumbs? Either way, not a simple task.

Our first day OTR has been, um, interesting. Luckily, I know that this is going to take some getting used to and there won't always be projectile vomit spewing from the baby.

Uh huh, she did.

And can you believe I didn't cry or get upset or re-think this truck life?! I must say, I was proud of me.

I used up all the baby wipes I brought to clean it up, so crossin' my fat thumbs the baby doesn't decide to mess her pants before I get to a store. It smells so flippin' bad in here. Or...it did. I think I am getting used to it. Yuck.

We are hauling pipe to Idaho. Our load is light which is excellent but unfortunately it's leaning. This makes my very laid back, easy-goin' husband on edge. Yuck.

Our destination is a couple of hours away but we'll stop here in a bit. I think. I hope.

The kids are sleeping. It's so cozy in the sleeper. Think if's my favorite part of the whole deal-getting all cozied up in the back while the truck is still rolling. Nothin' better.

Late into the evening I remembered we never bought a microwave. Mmm cold dinner. Tasty.

I tried to teach Sugar the fine art of peeing off the step of the truck but she wasn't havin' it. This is when her bladder of steel will become useful. She's a tough bird but it was raining and I didn't put her shoes on her AND the step was mite cold for her wee little bum. I have all the excuses for her but she just said she didn't want to.

I give it a couple weeks and she'll be peein' off the step like a pro.

Proud parents we'll be that day.

Most likely we'll load hay tomorrow. Seems to be what Josh used to pick up a lot of out of here. And most times it went north of Seattle. But we'll see.

I'm not going back over this post to find my mistakes and it's making me a little panicked about it. But oh well. Any freako words I am sure you can figure out. :)

Til tomorrow.....

Real Quick

Just a few things before we head out for our first day OTR (over the road):

I'm starting up another blog. Oh, quit rollin' yer eyes =). I'm just changing the address. The blog name (for now) will remain the same. So, over the next couple of weeks I'm planning to go through and just edit my kids' names. As you'll see in the sidebar, their pics are there with their new names. Sugar and Spice. Just a decision I've decided to make. I know most of my readers know my kiddos names but I just feel like this is a good decision for us. Since I'll be blogging about where we are and what we're doing, I think it'd just be best if random strangers didn't know their names (not that I consider you guys that, but those freak-o's at the truck stops might be!) Does that make sense? Our new blog address is http://www.truckfamily.blogspot.com/ You can go there but right now it's empty. Soon, I'll have this address as private, so when that happens make sure you head to truckfamily.

I Twitter. And I plan to update that quite often with where we are, where we're going, what we're doing, what we're not doing and all that jazz. I figure you'd all get sick of me posting 37 blog posts in a day, so if you want to keep up with us minute by minute (maybe not that much) go here. If you already have a Twitter account, just send a request to follow. If you don't have one, you totally should. It's a fun waste of time. And then you can follow us more closely on our journeys!

Next, I won't be blogging as much over the next couple of weeks I don't think. I don't have my laptop yet (and not so sure when I'll be getting one) so my posts will be sparse and my comments on your blogs may be too. Just know that I love you all and I will get to your blogs as quickly as I can!

You guys have been amazing. I'm so thankful for your support and your love for our family to be going on this crazy adventure.

Jackie had asked if Josh would have time off and we'd be home for long periods of time. The answer...no. When Josh was OTR before I think the longest time he was home was 3 or 4 days, and that was a weekend with a Monday. No miles means no money, so we have to be on the road as much as possible. Also, right now Josh is working for a company. It's small and it's homey. If that makes sense. We love his new boss, who will now (on my blog) be referred to as his dispatcher, I'll have to come up with a name for her later. They'd love for Josh to own his own truck (um, and so would Josh) but in all honesty...we can't afford to shell out the $150,000 for a new one. So, for now or until we win the Lotto, which isn't likely since we don't play...we'll drive their truck.

I'm hoping to blog from my phone if possible. (More on that later) And supposedly I should be able to upload pictures. Don't think they'll be quality photos as my phone camera blows but hopefully you can get the jist of what we're doing.

I'll be able to check my email so if you want to email me you can do that. Would love to hear from you. truckfamily at gmail dot com.

Okay, my husband just called. His load of roofing is unloaded in record time, he's 50 minutes from home, he'll load up some pipe, pick me and the baby up (he has Sugar with him) and we'll head out of town. And most likely out of state. Not sure where yet but I'll be lettin' ya know!

Have an awesome day.

Loves.

ps...I just remembered I need to pack diapers! that could have been tragic.

pps...I just thought of something (I'm always brilliant...in the morning) if you'd like a postcard or letter from us while we're out and about, email me your address. I thought it'd be kind of fun to pick up postcards from truck stops and send them out to you!

ppss....here are a couple pics of the truck and Amber. =)

A little Shout Out

Hello to Dahlonega, Georgia!

Howdy to Waverly, Ohio!

Seriously.

Car Seats, Shadow and BFF

Thanks to Natalie, I know the law about my kiddos in the truck.

They're to be belted in.

Oops.

Don't get me wrong, they will be. Just not all the time. Legally, Josh is allowed to drive a certain number of hours per day. I'm thinking 11 but I'm probably totally wrong. Luckily that's his department.

Point is, I can't keep my kids locked up in their car seats for 11 hours a day. Having them loose in the truck is a concern of mine. A big one in fact. I worry. I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry. I worry about driving to get coffee every morning.

No, seriously. I do.

I am fearful of other cars all the time. Always scared someone is going to run a red light. Two days ago a man came about 5 feet from slamming into my van. He had started to run a red light. I panicked. Froze. I thanked the Lord for watching over us. It could have been quite ugly.

I want every morning to wake and ask the Lord for His protection over our truck and our trips. I have to trust Him.

I also trust my husband. He is extremely capable of installing car seats. Last night we went to the store and found the hardware needed to install the seats into the truck. When we get the truck, it's first thing on the "to do" list.

Keely asked about Shadow. (How did I know you would?!) Before we knew my mom and niece and nephews would be moving in my aunt and uncle agreed to take him. A perfect home for him. Now that someone will be here, we can keep Shadow. This makes me one happy mama. Just this morning Jaylee had her blanket and was all cuddled up with Shadow in the living room. I can't imagine giving him up. And he'll be so excited to have more friends to play with during the week.

A question that was asked by my friend Janie last week when her and her family came for dinner..."what about Amber?" I seriously laughed out loud over this!

Unfortunately, she can't come. And I don't think she'd want to. While Amber and I are very much alike in many ways (we know when to use they're, their, and there) we like acronyms, (NKOTB being our favorite acronym) but we're different in the way that it would make her insane to not know from day to day where we're going.

She totally supports what we're doing but we both know it just wouldn't be something she'd want to do. (Don't think I haven't considered kicking Josh out the truck for a week and taking Amber on a trip!)

All kidding aside-I do worry about my friendships. While I don't make as much effort seeing my three friends as I should, I know they are all within 20 minutes of my home. Now, I'll be lucky if they're within 200 miles. My weekends will be busy playing catch up on laundry, household duties, cooking, etc. But my weekends will also be busy playing catch on the lives of my friend(s).

Thank you for encouraging my family and me. I am a very blessed girl, indeed!

Answers to questions you didn't ask

The following is a conversation that ensued via Facebook on Saturday afternoon between a friend of mine and me.

Him: when are you taking off on your trucking journey? you are taking the kids with you right ? are they school age yet ? I was curious how that would work when they get to school age? What made you decide to go w/ your husband versus staying at home? I was just curious.

Me: Nosy Nellie. =) We leave the 13th for our first trip! Yes, we're taking the kids. They aren't school age yet and when they do get to be, we'll most likely be homeschooling them. I decided to go with Josh because we love working together. We used to have a lawn mowing business and we worked side by side all day and loved it. This is another opportunity for us to do that and we're jumping at the chance. I can't stand being away from him the 10 hours he's at work now, I'd hate to have him gone for an entire week. We know there will be times where the girls and I don't go but for the most part, we plan to do this as a family. It's unconventional and people definitely have their opinions about it but we're excited for it. Thanks for asking!

Him: Hmm.. I'm not nosie nellie. If you post about it then it is inviting questions. I like the idea that you guys want to be together, I think that is great, very commendable, and if you can make it work that is incredible. I think that time you have together especially while the kids are young is great.I was just curious, It is unconventional, but doesn't mean it can't work. So i give you props for thinking outside the box. Homeschooling though.. seems scary to me.. I mean such a HUGE part of a kids education isn't the dates/facts and information you get out of the books, but how to interact w/ other social aspects of childhood. How to deal with a bully, how to deal with a jealous friend, how to handle when a friend has to move away, how to help a friend when they are in trouble... when to tattle, when not to.. .etc... I think that is so key to development because it gives us some of the basic tools for interacting w/ the work and world environment as we get older. So, I disagree about that.. but think you wanting to be w/ you family and be together is very kewl, brave idea. Very interesting.. thanks for letting me be curious.

Me: Totally get what you're saying about the social aspect of homeschooling. I know many homeschooled kids that aren't so social and many that are, what we'd deem as "normal". The places we'll go and the people we'll see and meet, I believe will help the kids with learning to be social. Truck stops, dairies, feed lots, construction zones, pipe plants, farms of all kinds, etc. will introduce the real world to our girls. Meeting the people who run them, work them and so on. I actually think they'll get more of an education on the road than they would sitting in a classroom all day. They'll still have Sunday School and they have umpteen amounts of cousins their ages to deal with the whole tattling/bullying and all of that. And of course, they have each other to deal with as well. =) I don't know if you read my blog, but I do plan to journal daily about our adventures. You can always keep up with us there.www.joshua24-15.blogspot.com

Him: Yeah.. i have a little. I think meeting all of those people and experiences will defintely enrich there lives and they will learn a ton. But, that is one side of society, they need to interact with kids who have nothing, and kids who have everything. It is incredibly helpful for my daughter to have friends, that have parents who can't get them things, and at the same time see how some families can get their kids everything. I think meeting and interacting with a lot of "blue collar" people will be very enriching for kids, but it will be difficult to create for them to get a diversity of people from different socio-economic backgrounds, religions, beliefs and attitudes though. IMHO...

I didn't reply. Partly because I knew I wanted to use our conversation on my blog and knew I could finish the conversation here. I know he's not the only one with these questions, he just happens to be the only one who has come to me and asked them. And the other reason I didn't reply was because I'm not out to try to defend the whole homeschool issue. I think it's easy for people to become offended either way. Whether you homeschool or send your kid(s) to public/private school. A blog friend of mine once told me that many times people who don't homeschool, think homeschoolers look down on them or think they're doing the wrong thing by sending their kids to school.

That's not where I'm coming from here. My husband and I are both products of public school. We made it through. And if we lived in a good school district and were going to be home full time, I may very well consider public school. However, we won't be home for them to be able to attend public school, so for us, homeschooling is our option. Am I looking forward to it? Not really. Scared out of my mind if we're going to be honest. But excited too.

His last comment about the girls only meeting blue collar workers really isn't the case. Over the road, we'll meet people from all walks of life. The blue collars, the white collars and I'm sure we'll see some without collars at all. We plan to take every opportunity we can to teach them.

The classroom isn't the only place to learn. Our girls will get a different kind of education and since it doesn't fit into the "normal box", I know it seems strange. I'm not out to convince anyone, myself included, that this is the only way to teach children or the right way to teach children.

It's just the way we're going to teach our children.

Last night my aunt asked me, "how will you bathe the girls while on the road?" My answer, "we won't." Totally kidding of course...you know, mostly...

Acutally, most truck stops have showers. When you fill up with diesel (which in our part of the country we pronounce it dee-suhl, not dee-zuhl) you usually get a free shower. So, we'll go in as a family and clean up and get all spiffy la-la'd.

How will we cook? We have a camp stove with a propane tank and this weekend we're hoping to check out some thrift stores for a small microwave. My "plan" is that on Saturdays when we're home, I'll do my cooking for the better part of the week, so that I'm mostly warming up our food instead of actually having to cook it. Washing dishes is a bit tricky on the road.

Where will we sleep? The truck we'll be getting has bunks. So, the way we're thinking it's going to work is that I'll sleep on the bottom with Alison and Josh on the top bunk with Jaylee. This will be until Alison learns to stay still and then we'll most likely have the girls sleep together on the bottom bunk.

Will the girls be in their car seats? In all honesty, probably not much. They'll be free to roam the truck and play. If Jaylee wants to sit up front with her daddy, I'll strap her seat into the passenger seat but for the most part, their car seats will somehow be rigged to the truck where we can strap them in if we have to go through scale houses (chicken coops as the truckers call 'em). Josh will be working on that this weekend, hopefully.

What if we find this doesn't work out? Then, my husband will find a different job. He's never without a job offer. Never. He's hard working and has made an amazing reputation for himself in our little valley. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

Any questions you'd like me to answer?