falling asleep on the back of my stepdad's motorcycle and letting go of him for a split second.
seeing my dad for the first time in several months when he came home from cleaning up the Exxon Valdez oil spill. i remember how he smiled at me. like it was the first time he'd ever seen me.
my last day of school in 8th grade. panicked that i was going to be starting high school in a different town. again.
falling asleep outside on the porch when i was little and waking up to red ants all over me.
the first time i saw Josh. oh, the flat top. and worn out tennies. and the smile.
roller-blading with Linds into the grocery store to get a burrito and Pepsi and sitting on the floor at the store having a pow wow.
being asked out at a soccer game by a boy i barely knew. and saying yes.
hanging out at the 88 cent store with David and Lindsey and eating ridiculous amounts of popcorn.
a college professor named John.
riding around with my dad in his very old Chevy Blazer.
and the first time he took me fishing. which ended up being the last time he took me fishing. apparently I talked too much?
the night Josh asked me to marry him. and i said yes. and immediately realized that meant Lindsey and I wouldn't go off to college together. we'd done everything together for four years. i wasn't sure how we'd do this thing called life without each other in a few months.
Hotel room 333. It added up to 9.
reconnecting with Amber through MySpace after not seeing her since we walked together at graduation 8 years before.
using my aunt's Keds as a car for my Barbies.
sitting in the backseat of all of our cars with my sisters on each side of me. never failed, they always fell asleep in my lap. i'd play with their hair and think that maybe they weren't so bad after all...as long as they were sleeping.
getting pulled over at age 16 for doing 105 on the highway. i was late getting home from my boyfriend's house and knew my mom would not be happy. i still don't understand why he didn't give me a ticket or put me in jail or ground me or something.
the boy in high school with the green Jeep Grand Cherokee. i think that's when my obsession with the Jeep Grand Cherokee began.
starting my blog. in 2006. without the first clue as to what a blog was.
the day Treena took the day off and spent her day with me.
the first camping trip with Jim and Emily. oh good times.
riding on three and four wheelers with Jim and Emily. in the pouring rain. more good times.
taking a picture with a gnome and two of the funniest girls ever.
living out in Mabton and driving my sisters and me to school everyday while blasting Rebecca St. James. and then the morning we saw the cat get hit by a car and i wanted to bawl but instead laughed hysterically while Erica cried her eyes out.
lying on a hotel room bed in San Diego, completely sunburned and hearing the phone ring. the phone call telling Josh and me that my dad had drown that day.
my ten year class reunion that i didn't want to go to. but thankful i did.
the cool October morning when i found out i was pregnant with Sugar...who will be six tomorrow.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
a good weekend, a good weekend indeed but now it is monday
we had a really great weekend.
besides the craziness that was my saturday. where i left the house at noon and did not return to it until 7 pm and when i did arrive home i was informed that no one had eaten dinner yet the kitchen was a mess.
mind you i was bringing home groceries and i'm not a fan of bringing groceries home to a dirty kitchen or hungry people.
saturday was lovely. a baby shower for my favorite tiny person. and then shopping all by myself. i went to REI and bought josh's father's day gift. he's going on a trip to montana soon to ride bikes with friends for a few days and of course i do believe he needs a new outfit for each of his rides. (and when i say bikes, i'm talking bicycles) i was stoked to find some awesome clearance items. it's always fun to buy spandex for your husband.
after i left REI i was at a stop light next to some cowboy in a fancy Dodge pick up. i looked over at him. he looked over at me. and i knew that it was on. once that light turned green it was going to be a race to see whose Dodge had more balls. apparently my mini van does. and if i were that cowboy i'd still be feelin' a lil sheepish.
i then went to Costco where i loaded my cart with all things non-vegetarian. like 6.5 lbs of ground beef, 6.5 lbs of chuck roast and a big ol' bag of chicken breasts.
i don't much like air conditioning and it was fairly warm, so my windows were down, my sunroof open and i was rather sweaty.
so sweaty.
by the time i got to WinCo for groceries i looked as though i peed my pants. sometimes i think leather seats are overrated and when i sweat would be one of those times. i wondered if i believed in shorts and wore those instead if it would have helped. at least then i could have wiped the sweat off instead of having it soak my capris.
(i just don't believe in shorts. i don't think i can do it.)
we went to church yesterday morning. after a really long time spent in the church nursery it was a sunday where we'd actually be able to sit in service. i told josh, "i need to be in church today." have you ever felt desperate like that for God's Word to be spoken to you? that's how i was feeling yesterday. it's been a very long time since i've let myself feel that way. i'm always desperately needing God's Word spoken to me but whether or not i feel it is another thing entirely. i spent much of worship in tears. "everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior." bawling. i need forgiveness. i need it much. but please, don't be nice to me, not at this moment because i will come unglued with the crying. "all my fears and failures" yes and yes some more. fears: that i'll forever be who i am right now. this mess of me. failures: daily. hourly. as wife, mom, sister and friend. as Sarah. when, Lord?! when will i wake in the morning and not be ashamed of who i am?!
church was beautiful yesterday. i'm so so glad we went.
i failed to mention that when i got home from my perfect, sweaty saturday shoppingness that my soon-to-be 6 year old told me Ruby, our cat, brought her a baby bird. "where's this baby bird?" i ask. "upstairs in my room." and so we follow her up the stairs, she runs to her bed, lifts her pillow, pulls out her slipper, reaches her hand inside said slipper and, indeed, pulls out a baby bird. a baby bird that i think is a chicken. i'm still not sure. however i've kept it warm, fed, watered and alive for approximately 36 hours. i'm still waiting for it to lay eggs for breakfast.
anyway, after church yesterday my in-laws took us to lunch to celebrate Sugar's birthday a little early since they will not be here on her actual birthday. it was nice not to cook lunch or pay for it, either. thank you, mom and dad. you are my favorite.
then we came home and got stuff ready before we had friends come for dinner. new(ish) friends. the husband i'd met before and i made such a rockin' first impression while making fun of him for being shirtless and taking FOREVER to open a gate so i could enter his courts to pick up his wife (Chelsea) so she could celebrate her fifth wedding anniversary with me. the birthday girl. i won't mention the fact that he was wearing his wife's fuzzy slippers 'cause that might embarrass him. anyway, after he let me in the gate that night of my birthday (and his wedding anniversary) (and put on a shirt and different shoes) i went over, apologized and introduced myself. apparently all has been forgiven, he agreed to come to our house for dinner. there was much food, laughter, sarcasm, children and fun last night. i'm glad it didn't take me ten years to decide i could be friends with them.
(someday i'll write a post about meeting Chelsea and how it could have easily been ten years in the making.)
(love you, Chelsea! let's hug the next time we see each other. i know you love hugs.)
we put the kids to bed. made sure Sparkle (the bird of some sort) was warm and went to bed ourselves. josh was on craigslist looking for a road bike for me. i was tweeting from my phone and listening to Pandora. and then my eyes could just stay open no longer and i was asleep before 10 and it was a beautiful thing.
and now it is monday.
and the week starts with a funeral.
more on that tomorrow.
how was your weekend?
besides the craziness that was my saturday. where i left the house at noon and did not return to it until 7 pm and when i did arrive home i was informed that no one had eaten dinner yet the kitchen was a mess.
mind you i was bringing home groceries and i'm not a fan of bringing groceries home to a dirty kitchen or hungry people.
saturday was lovely. a baby shower for my favorite tiny person. and then shopping all by myself. i went to REI and bought josh's father's day gift. he's going on a trip to montana soon to ride bikes with friends for a few days and of course i do believe he needs a new outfit for each of his rides. (and when i say bikes, i'm talking bicycles) i was stoked to find some awesome clearance items. it's always fun to buy spandex for your husband.
after i left REI i was at a stop light next to some cowboy in a fancy Dodge pick up. i looked over at him. he looked over at me. and i knew that it was on. once that light turned green it was going to be a race to see whose Dodge had more balls. apparently my mini van does. and if i were that cowboy i'd still be feelin' a lil sheepish.
i then went to Costco where i loaded my cart with all things non-vegetarian. like 6.5 lbs of ground beef, 6.5 lbs of chuck roast and a big ol' bag of chicken breasts.
i don't much like air conditioning and it was fairly warm, so my windows were down, my sunroof open and i was rather sweaty.
so sweaty.
by the time i got to WinCo for groceries i looked as though i peed my pants. sometimes i think leather seats are overrated and when i sweat would be one of those times. i wondered if i believed in shorts and wore those instead if it would have helped. at least then i could have wiped the sweat off instead of having it soak my capris.
(i just don't believe in shorts. i don't think i can do it.)
we went to church yesterday morning. after a really long time spent in the church nursery it was a sunday where we'd actually be able to sit in service. i told josh, "i need to be in church today." have you ever felt desperate like that for God's Word to be spoken to you? that's how i was feeling yesterday. it's been a very long time since i've let myself feel that way. i'm always desperately needing God's Word spoken to me but whether or not i feel it is another thing entirely. i spent much of worship in tears. "everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior." bawling. i need forgiveness. i need it much. but please, don't be nice to me, not at this moment because i will come unglued with the crying. "all my fears and failures" yes and yes some more. fears: that i'll forever be who i am right now. this mess of me. failures: daily. hourly. as wife, mom, sister and friend. as Sarah. when, Lord?! when will i wake in the morning and not be ashamed of who i am?!
church was beautiful yesterday. i'm so so glad we went.
i failed to mention that when i got home from my perfect, sweaty saturday shoppingness that my soon-to-be 6 year old told me Ruby, our cat, brought her a baby bird. "where's this baby bird?" i ask. "upstairs in my room." and so we follow her up the stairs, she runs to her bed, lifts her pillow, pulls out her slipper, reaches her hand inside said slipper and, indeed, pulls out a baby bird. a baby bird that i think is a chicken. i'm still not sure. however i've kept it warm, fed, watered and alive for approximately 36 hours. i'm still waiting for it to lay eggs for breakfast.
anyway, after church yesterday my in-laws took us to lunch to celebrate Sugar's birthday a little early since they will not be here on her actual birthday. it was nice not to cook lunch or pay for it, either. thank you, mom and dad. you are my favorite.
then we came home and got stuff ready before we had friends come for dinner. new(ish) friends. the husband i'd met before and i made such a rockin' first impression while making fun of him for being shirtless and taking FOREVER to open a gate so i could enter his courts to pick up his wife (Chelsea) so she could celebrate her fifth wedding anniversary with me. the birthday girl. i won't mention the fact that he was wearing his wife's fuzzy slippers 'cause that might embarrass him. anyway, after he let me in the gate that night of my birthday (and his wedding anniversary) (and put on a shirt and different shoes) i went over, apologized and introduced myself. apparently all has been forgiven, he agreed to come to our house for dinner. there was much food, laughter, sarcasm, children and fun last night. i'm glad it didn't take me ten years to decide i could be friends with them.
(someday i'll write a post about meeting Chelsea and how it could have easily been ten years in the making.)
(love you, Chelsea! let's hug the next time we see each other. i know you love hugs.)
we put the kids to bed. made sure Sparkle (the bird of some sort) was warm and went to bed ourselves. josh was on craigslist looking for a road bike for me. i was tweeting from my phone and listening to Pandora. and then my eyes could just stay open no longer and i was asleep before 10 and it was a beautiful thing.
and now it is monday.
and the week starts with a funeral.
more on that tomorrow.
how was your weekend?
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
The story of Ken and Barbie
Josh and I have never been super great at making friends as a couple.
He has friends.
I have friends.
But it never seems that my friend's husbands and Josh are super compatible and vice versa.
It's not that we haven't wanted couple friends, it just has never worked out.
And it all started a really long time ago.
We'd been married a coupla years when we noticed this young couple going to our church. Josh of course wanted to immediately invite them over for dinner. Mostly I think because that was the only time I ever cleaned or cooked a homemade meal. But also because we needed some friends.
The only problem with inviting these two people over? They looked way classier than us. Perfect clothes, hair and smiles. I was just sure they were going to be snobby and wouldn't like me. I refused to let Josh ask them over for lunch after church. He wanted to every Sunday. He wanted to just introduce himself but I wouldn't even allow that.
Since we didn't know their names we started calling them...wait for it...
Ken and Barbie.
Mhm, we did.
It's now been about 10 years since this whole deal and a few months ago "Barbie" was teaching a couponing class I wanted to go to.
Candee kept telling me she wanted me to meet "Barbie" {except she didn't call her that, though she knew I did} and another girl, Chelsea.
I told Candee I'd go to the class but I wasn't really wanting to meet these girls. Apparently my insecurity issues haven't gone away.
"They're cooler than me. Dress better than I do. I doubt they'd like me or get me."
I came up with excuse after excuse.
And then I was introduced to them.
Barbie's name is actually Katie and Katie is absolutely wonderful. She's not snobby at all. I love her. She's been so encouraging about homeschooling {our kiddos are both Kinder} and I'm thankful she didn't "unfriend" me a couple weeks ago when my daughter kissed her son on the cheek. *gasp* {seriously wanted to die in that moment}
I decided to out myself on Friday at Red Robin. I looked at Candee and said, "should I tell her?" Candee said I should.
And so I told Katie how for the last several years her and her husband (Ross) have been known to Josh and me as Ken and Barbie. She got a kick out of it and of course, had to call Ross and tell him that we're totally ridiculous.
{okay, she probably didn't say that but I didn't catch the phone call so she might have.}
Part of me is sad that I didn't want Josh to introduce years ago. I feel like we've missed out on a lot of years of friendship. Lately though I've decided to stop dwelling on stuff I can't change and those missed years of friendship is part of that.
I'm just looking forward to the many years of friendship we have left with our non-plastic friends. ☺
Monday, June 06, 2011
31st birthdays are when you're {finally} old enough for a lap dance
Seriously.
But before we talk about that, let's start that fabulous day from the beginning, shall we?
I told you I was going to go outta my literal comfort zone and have a Brazilian wax done. Had I not blogged about it and had I not received emails from several of youbegging asking me to document my experience, I mighta chickened out.
Okay, I wouldn't have chickened out. I wanted to do this.
First up though was my hair. It's been a year since my last hair appointment and poor Barbie had a mess to deal with.
"What are we doing today?" She asked me.
"Really blonde hi-lights. Lots of 'em. And take off about 3 or 4"."
While she was washing out the bleach I asked if she could make my hair big and curly.
And she did.
{Disclaimer: I'm going to be pretty honest about the wax job, so if you don't wanna read about it, I totally understand. Just wanted to warn you what's next.}
But before we talk about that, let's start that fabulous day from the beginning, shall we?
I told you I was going to go outta my literal comfort zone and have a Brazilian wax done. Had I not blogged about it and had I not received emails from several of you
Okay, I wouldn't have chickened out. I wanted to do this.
First up though was my hair. It's been a year since my last hair appointment and poor Barbie had a mess to deal with.
"What are we doing today?" She asked me.
"Really blonde hi-lights. Lots of 'em. And take off about 3 or 4"."
While she was washing out the bleach I asked if she could make my hair big and curly.
And she did.
 |
| don't worry, she didn't leave it like that. |
So after my hair was finished it was time for the painful part. I wasn't as concerned with how bad it was going to hurt as I was the whole modesty issue. But then I kept thinking, "eh, whatev."
When we started she was only thinking I'd want a bikini wax, that I wouldn't be able to handle the full meal deal. However, I was handling everything pretty well and told her I was going to go through with it. She told me the most painful part was coming up then.
The pubic bone.
On goes the wax, the strip and then the rip.
Holy.
Cow.
She wasn't kidding that was the most painful part. You'd think it'd hurt more down yonder but nuh uh. Pubic bone. The rest seemed like a breeze.
"Now, we can stop here or we can keep going."
A Brazilian is front to back. All of it.
"Eh, we may as well go for it. We've gone this far."
Her next words made me laugh out loud.
"Okay, get on all fours, ass in the air."
Alriiighty then.
I'd spent 45 minutes with this woman already. I wasn't the least bit mortified like I thought I would be. She's so one of those people that puts you at ease immediately.
The next few minutes were the most painless. Weird, huh?
It really wasn't that bad. I know I have a higher pain tolerance than some. She told me I was a rock star. It's always nice to have someone tell ya that. She said some girls will ask her to stop when she's half done. Other girls will grab her hand as she's about to rip the paper off.
Me? I talked. Made jokes. Laughed. It's what I do when in an uncomfortable situation. Physically and emotionally.
After I was done I went shopping. Josh gave me some birthday money awhile ago and I had a little left to shop with. My first stop was Victoria's Secret, where I returned something I bought a couple weeks ago that just wasn't gonna work out. And then I wandered around the mall. From store to store. Have you ever noticed when you have money you can't find anything but when you don't have money you see tons of stuff you'd love to have?
Yeah, that was me on Friday. Plus, it's just lonely to wander a mall alone.
The evening was what I was looking forward to. When I decided not to head to Seattle Josh suggested getting my friends together and going out for dinner. So, that's what we did.
 |
| My sister, Megan. Candee, Melis, Me, Chelsea & Katie |
 |
| Melissa & me. Only took 10 tries for this. |
 |
| Katie. There's a story about this girl. I'll share this week. |
 |
| Candee. Love this friend. |
 |
| Megan. My sweet baby sister. Isn't she beautiful? |
 |
| Ah Chelsea. Everyone needs a Chelsea in their lives. |
We started our night at Red Robin. What can I say, it's a fave of mine. Looove it. It was fun watching all these girls together. So fun.
After dinner we headed to a place called Roxy Wine Bar. Fun atmosphere but it was a very slow, quiet night in there.
Since it was pretty slow in there we decided to leave and keep walking. There are a lot of places to stop at on this one street downtown. We let the music lead us. We walked into a place playing Journey and as soon as I walked in I felt like it was my High School class reunion all over again!
After dinner we headed to a place called Roxy Wine Bar. Fun atmosphere but it was a very slow, quiet night in there.
 |
| My Blue Moon & Melissa's glass of wine. I had about 2 sips of the beer. |
Three guys I graduated with, three girls Melissa and Candee graduated with and a guy my sister graduated with were all at a table together. So fun to see those guys! The youngest of the group, Adam (the one who graduated with my sister) offered to buy me a drink for my birthday. I thanked him but since I was driving (and because I'm not much more than a one beer kinda girl) I politely declined.
I should have taken him up on the beer offer.
Because a few minutes later he led me over to a chair at his table and gave me lap dance.
I wish I were kidding.
I haven't laughed that hard or been that embarrassed in a very long time.
After a few seconds of that fun, I thanked him and went back to my own table. A lil flustered.
Such a fun night with friends. And I was so thankful to have seen the guys from High School.
31.
That's me now.
Maybe this is the year I grow up, huh?
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Motorcycles, Houseboats and some TMI
The last few days have been a roller coaster.
I used to like those things.
Not so much anymore.
This birthday of mine has thrown me for a loop. Normally I'm reminding people in July about my birthday coming up. And usually the week before my birthday no one can stand me. (not like they can stand me much any other time but whatev). This year? Haven't been feeling it as much.
I'd considered a trip to Seattle. Went so far as to email my friend, Greg, last week to ask if he still had his motorcycle. "Sold it last summer, you looking for one?"
Told him nope.
Just looking for a ride.
I wanted something fun. Something not me. Motorcycles tend to freak me the heck out.
Continuing in my search for fun, while looking for places to stay I found a cheap houseboat. Cheap as in 30 bucks a night cheap. Only problem, the owner of the boat stays on the boat with you. Amber informed me I didn't need to pay for rape, murder and a burial at sea. Those can be free. (Everyone needs an Amber)
I really don't know what I was thinking. Mostly that I feel a little boring lately. I also feel like I let a lot of my fears get in my way. What better way to tackle (ha) my fear of boats than by sleeping on one!?
I've opted out of the boat idea.
And the motorcycle is apparently out, too.
So I've decided to try something else out of my (literal) comfort zone.
A wax job.
(male readers, mother-in-law you may want to exit le blog now.)
I mean, why not? Why not get waxed? Am I nervous as heck? Uh, yeah. A certain family member of mine went for the gusto.
The Brazillian wax.
(I was going to link you to the wikipedia description but thankfully I looked at it before i did that. You would not have appreciated me linking you to that.)
I'd first made an appointment with Melissa to do it for me. Who better to wax your junk than a best friend? Though she only wanted to do the French wax (landing strip) and then I made an appointment elsewhere for the rest. As it turned out, in the short amount of time I had with Melissa this weekend, no waxing was involved.
Friday's the big wax day.
Was telling a friend my qualms about it. Mostly that I don't want to look seven. To which, said friend replied, that it was no longer 1991, it's 2011 and quite common to have done.
True.
But still.
My appointment is at 10:30 am. Think that's too early to arrive all liquored up? Or maybe it's the perfect time!
Anyone care to share any experiences? Feel free to comment or email me. Save the horror stories for later, I don't wanna know that part.
I used to like those things.
Not so much anymore.
This birthday of mine has thrown me for a loop. Normally I'm reminding people in July about my birthday coming up. And usually the week before my birthday no one can stand me. (not like they can stand me much any other time but whatev). This year? Haven't been feeling it as much.
I'd considered a trip to Seattle. Went so far as to email my friend, Greg, last week to ask if he still had his motorcycle. "Sold it last summer, you looking for one?"
Told him nope.
Just looking for a ride.
I wanted something fun. Something not me. Motorcycles tend to freak me the heck out.
Continuing in my search for fun, while looking for places to stay I found a cheap houseboat. Cheap as in 30 bucks a night cheap. Only problem, the owner of the boat stays on the boat with you. Amber informed me I didn't need to pay for rape, murder and a burial at sea. Those can be free. (Everyone needs an Amber)
I really don't know what I was thinking. Mostly that I feel a little boring lately. I also feel like I let a lot of my fears get in my way. What better way to tackle (ha) my fear of boats than by sleeping on one!?
I've opted out of the boat idea.
And the motorcycle is apparently out, too.
So I've decided to try something else out of my (literal) comfort zone.
A wax job.
(male readers, mother-in-law you may want to exit le blog now.)
I mean, why not? Why not get waxed? Am I nervous as heck? Uh, yeah. A certain family member of mine went for the gusto.
The Brazillian wax.
(I was going to link you to the wikipedia description but thankfully I looked at it before i did that. You would not have appreciated me linking you to that.)
I'd first made an appointment with Melissa to do it for me. Who better to wax your junk than a best friend? Though she only wanted to do the French wax (landing strip) and then I made an appointment elsewhere for the rest. As it turned out, in the short amount of time I had with Melissa this weekend, no waxing was involved.
Friday's the big wax day.
Was telling a friend my qualms about it. Mostly that I don't want to look seven. To which, said friend replied, that it was no longer 1991, it's 2011 and quite common to have done.
True.
But still.
My appointment is at 10:30 am. Think that's too early to arrive all liquored up? Or maybe it's the perfect time!
Anyone care to share any experiences? Feel free to comment or email me. Save the horror stories for later, I don't wanna know that part.
Ain't Happenin'
I never use the word "ain't" ever, ever.
My dad used it. Always drove me nuts. Now it makes me laugh to think about it.
Anyway, there's just no possible way to be 125 on Friday and I'm choosing to be totally okay with that. 125 will come eventually. I'm guessing in the next two weeks instead of two days.
In the last week I've ridden 5 days, logging 115 miles. Yesterday my ride to the gym started out with a downpour, thunder and head wind. People were looking at me like I was crazy. I think I kinda was. I just didn't want some stupid weather to put a damper on my plans to ride. So I didn't.
My legs feel great and I'm hoping to be able to sport a pair of shorts this summer. We'll see on that one.
While I was halfway to the gym last night a woman parked her van near the pathway, got her two girls out with their bikes and she was walking behind them. Then, after a little bit, she started to jog. I'd guess her to have been nearly 75 lbs overweight.
I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to get out there and do that. Physically or emotionally. But in my head I was like, "ROCK ON, SISTER!" She was out there. She was doing it. And her girlies were getting some fun in as well.
Anyway, that was totally random but I just thought it was totally awesome, too.
My dad used it. Always drove me nuts. Now it makes me laugh to think about it.
Anyway, there's just no possible way to be 125 on Friday and I'm choosing to be totally okay with that. 125 will come eventually. I'm guessing in the next two weeks instead of two days.
In the last week I've ridden 5 days, logging 115 miles. Yesterday my ride to the gym started out with a downpour, thunder and head wind. People were looking at me like I was crazy. I think I kinda was. I just didn't want some stupid weather to put a damper on my plans to ride. So I didn't.
My legs feel great and I'm hoping to be able to sport a pair of shorts this summer. We'll see on that one.
While I was halfway to the gym last night a woman parked her van near the pathway, got her two girls out with their bikes and she was walking behind them. Then, after a little bit, she started to jog. I'd guess her to have been nearly 75 lbs overweight.
I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to get out there and do that. Physically or emotionally. But in my head I was like, "ROCK ON, SISTER!" She was out there. She was doing it. And her girlies were getting some fun in as well.
Anyway, that was totally random but I just thought it was totally awesome, too.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I've so got this
We're looking at 6 lbs before Friday.
Totally do-able, right?
This is where you say, "yes, of course, Sarah!" All while trying to keep a straight face.
It's a long shot. I'm down but not out!
Totally do-able, right?
This is where you say, "yes, of course, Sarah!" All while trying to keep a straight face.
It's a long shot. I'm down but not out!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Caved
On Saturday I had that coffee I've been dreaming about.
If you'd had the Friday afternoon and evening I had, you woulda had coffee on Saturday, too.
If you'd had the Friday afternoon and evening I had, you woulda had coffee on Saturday, too.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Friday is a good day for a List, No?
What was once 7 lbs needing to be lost before next Friday is now 8. Um, oops.
I only biked to the gym and back one day this week instead of the the originally planned three days. But one is better than none.
This weekend was supposed to include friends, the beach, some Goodwill Outlet, some waxing {blog post in the making} and a lot of hours in a car. Now...it will not.
This is a good and bad thing, that we will not be traveling. Someone {ahem} did some foolish banking and deposited some funds into an account from another account and received a notice that said funds were being held for...TEN DAYS. Sorry, but that's my money, give it to me NOW. So I called 'em to say just that. I laid down the law. I mean, I know I've given up coffee til next Friday but a girl still needs to buy a corn dog. They released part of my funds, allowing me to pay my cell phone bill {ouch} and buy a peanut buster parfait.
All is now right in my world.
The reason our trip is not happening is because there was a little baby boy born yesterday. A little baby boy that I love like crazy. A little baby boy I need to squeeze and smell and love and kiss. He's my nephew and I can't believe he's finally here! I say finally because this pregnancy has lasted almost a year and a half. {long story but if you read my SIL's blog, you know what I mean}
Yesterday I decided I was giving into this whole go-without-Starbucks-til-next-Friday gig. I posted about it on Facebook and got several encouraging comments that I could, indeed, make it until next Friday. My friends apparently believe in me way more than I do. I held out.
However.
I'm on my way to the gym last night when I get a call from Josh. "Leave class early so you can get us Starbucks before they close."
I gasped!
"But what about my friends, they all think I can do this!"
He says no one would have to know. He's naughty like that.
I did leave class early. (I rarely hang out for the meditation part of class anymore)
But I drove right on by that Starbucks and I DID NOT STOP.
Clearly a miracle of the Lord.
Back to list format:
Trying to rearrange your living room without Starbucks is not pretty. Trying to live life without Starbucks is not pretty. I've kinda been in a fog these last few days. My daily routine has been so messed up.
I had a watermelon martini the other night. It was okay. I've decided the only watermelon anything that I like is bubble gum.
While rearranging my living room I went through my bookcases and got rid of about 30 books. Not easy to do when you're a hoarder of books. But it felt good.
I haven't bitten my fingernails in nearly two weeks.
The pair of jeans I'm wearing today I could not button three weeks ago (or three years ago!). Rock. On.
Your turn. In the comments leave a list of three things. Any things. Whatever you want. {and it can be more than three if you need.}
I only biked to the gym and back one day this week instead of the the originally planned three days. But one is better than none.
This weekend was supposed to include friends, the beach, some Goodwill Outlet, some waxing {blog post in the making} and a lot of hours in a car. Now...it will not.
This is a good and bad thing, that we will not be traveling. Someone {ahem} did some foolish banking and deposited some funds into an account from another account and received a notice that said funds were being held for...TEN DAYS. Sorry, but that's my money, give it to me NOW. So I called 'em to say just that. I laid down the law. I mean, I know I've given up coffee til next Friday but a girl still needs to buy a corn dog. They released part of my funds, allowing me to pay my cell phone bill {ouch} and buy a peanut buster parfait.
All is now right in my world.
The reason our trip is not happening is because there was a little baby boy born yesterday. A little baby boy that I love like crazy. A little baby boy I need to squeeze and smell and love and kiss. He's my nephew and I can't believe he's finally here! I say finally because this pregnancy has lasted almost a year and a half. {long story but if you read my SIL's blog, you know what I mean}
Yesterday I decided I was giving into this whole go-without-Starbucks-til-next-Friday gig. I posted about it on Facebook and got several encouraging comments that I could, indeed, make it until next Friday. My friends apparently believe in me way more than I do. I held out.
However.
I'm on my way to the gym last night when I get a call from Josh. "Leave class early so you can get us Starbucks before they close."
I gasped!
"But what about my friends, they all think I can do this!"
He says no one would have to know. He's naughty like that.
I did leave class early. (I rarely hang out for the meditation part of class anymore)
But I drove right on by that Starbucks and I DID NOT STOP.
Clearly a miracle of the Lord.
Back to list format:
Trying to rearrange your living room without Starbucks is not pretty. Trying to live life without Starbucks is not pretty. I've kinda been in a fog these last few days. My daily routine has been so messed up.
I had a watermelon martini the other night. It was okay. I've decided the only watermelon anything that I like is bubble gum.
While rearranging my living room I went through my bookcases and got rid of about 30 books. Not easy to do when you're a hoarder of books. But it felt good.
I haven't bitten my fingernails in nearly two weeks.
The pair of jeans I'm wearing today I could not button three weeks ago (or three years ago!). Rock. On.
Your turn. In the comments leave a list of three things. Any things. Whatever you want. {and it can be more than three if you need.}
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Update on the Dumb Idea
Remember my dumb idea from a few days ago?
I think I need to keep updating on here for accountability. Otherwise I'll never reach my goal by next Friday. I still might not but I know this'll help.
Monday I had 9 lbs to lose before next Friday. Today I have 7. It's not healthy for me to weigh too often but this is a big deal! I have an extra 10 bucks and SIX Blue Moons riding on this!
Yes, the ante has been upped. My friend, Chelsea, emailed me and told me if I reached my goal next week that a six pack was on her. You better believe I'm trying extra hard now!
Which means I only ate one Hershey bar yesterday instead of two. ☺ Baby steps.
I rode my bike to the gym last night. And btw if you saw my post on Monday before I corrected it, I had stupidly said it was 60 miles round trip on my bike. hahahhahahahhaha, right. like I could do that. Not sure why I put that but it's about 30 miles round trip. Yesterday was a head wind the entire way there. Took an extra 20 minutes to get there and felt like I was riding up hill the whole way. Holy crap I was tired.
My legs no longer feel like they want to fall off the day after a ride but my butt sure is sore. I need callouses. What an attractive place to get one, no?
I haven't had Starbucks since Saturday. My heart hurts. I haven't had a Blue Moon since Friday. Again, my heart hurts. Next Friday is going to be a very exciting day. I may not have reached my goal by then but you better believe whether I've met the goal or not I'm loading up on both.
So.
Exlax and water til prom! Here I go! ☺
(not really having exlax and not really going to prom)
(but i am trying to drink more water!)
I think I need to keep updating on here for accountability. Otherwise I'll never reach my goal by next Friday. I still might not but I know this'll help.
Monday I had 9 lbs to lose before next Friday. Today I have 7. It's not healthy for me to weigh too often but this is a big deal! I have an extra 10 bucks and SIX Blue Moons riding on this!
Yes, the ante has been upped. My friend, Chelsea, emailed me and told me if I reached my goal next week that a six pack was on her. You better believe I'm trying extra hard now!
Which means I only ate one Hershey bar yesterday instead of two. ☺ Baby steps.
I rode my bike to the gym last night. And btw if you saw my post on Monday before I corrected it, I had stupidly said it was 60 miles round trip on my bike. hahahhahahahhaha, right. like I could do that. Not sure why I put that but it's about 30 miles round trip. Yesterday was a head wind the entire way there. Took an extra 20 minutes to get there and felt like I was riding up hill the whole way. Holy crap I was tired.
My legs no longer feel like they want to fall off the day after a ride but my butt sure is sore. I need callouses. What an attractive place to get one, no?
I haven't had Starbucks since Saturday. My heart hurts. I haven't had a Blue Moon since Friday. Again, my heart hurts. Next Friday is going to be a very exciting day. I may not have reached my goal by then but you better believe whether I've met the goal or not I'm loading up on both.
So.
Exlax and water til prom! Here I go! ☺
(not really having exlax and not really going to prom)
(but i am trying to drink more water!)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Dumb Idea
I'm usually full of 'em. And definitely am this time.
I got on the scale on Saturday. I'm down 19 lbs from the end of January. I have 9 lbs to my goal weight. When I set these goals back in January, part of me wanted to have achieved the weight loss by June 3rd. Part of me wondered if it was realistic. Especially since I didn't believe in myself enough to even think I'd get this far.
Well, now I'm close. I'm close to my goal weight.
But I'm also close to June 3rd.
My mom was here for a little bit on Saturday and I asked how the heck I was going to be able to lose 9 lbs in 13 days.
Her response: You can't.
Well, GAME ON!
She had asked me a few days before what I wanted for my birthday. I told her I'd like gas money toward my birthday trip I'm taking myself on. So Saturday she said that if I reached my goal weight of 125 lbs, she'd give me an extra 10 bucks on top of what she was already giving me.
I don't know if it's possible to lose 9 lbs in 13 days. I really don't. But I plan to ride to the gym (30 miles round trip) three times this week. I also cut out Starbucks and my beloved Blue Moon until June 3rd.
Did you read that?
No Starbucks OR Blue Moon til June 3rd!!!
It's only been 2 days and I feel like I'm going to die.
I also need to quit the snacking. I need to stop eating Hostess Cupcakes and Twix and KitKat for lunch.
It's time to drink more water.
Pray for me... ☺
I got on the scale on Saturday. I'm down 19 lbs from the end of January. I have 9 lbs to my goal weight. When I set these goals back in January, part of me wanted to have achieved the weight loss by June 3rd. Part of me wondered if it was realistic. Especially since I didn't believe in myself enough to even think I'd get this far.
Well, now I'm close. I'm close to my goal weight.
But I'm also close to June 3rd.
My mom was here for a little bit on Saturday and I asked how the heck I was going to be able to lose 9 lbs in 13 days.
Her response: You can't.
Well, GAME ON!
She had asked me a few days before what I wanted for my birthday. I told her I'd like gas money toward my birthday trip I'm taking myself on. So Saturday she said that if I reached my goal weight of 125 lbs, she'd give me an extra 10 bucks on top of what she was already giving me.
I don't know if it's possible to lose 9 lbs in 13 days. I really don't. But I plan to ride to the gym (30 miles round trip) three times this week. I also cut out Starbucks and my beloved Blue Moon until June 3rd.
Did you read that?
No Starbucks OR Blue Moon til June 3rd!!!
It's only been 2 days and I feel like I'm going to die.
I also need to quit the snacking. I need to stop eating Hostess Cupcakes and Twix and KitKat for lunch.
It's time to drink more water.
Pray for me... ☺
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
i'll pay any price for peace of mind
Today was Spice's appointment.
To know me is to know I'm early for everything. Ever-y-thing. So, this sweet girl endured some hours of shopping. And to reward her for her patience and to talk to her about her appointment, I took her to Starbucks.
We discussed that she was going to the doctor. That he'd be listening to her heart. And that Mama, of course, would be right there.
"Mama, can I shit your wap?"
"Yes, sweet girl, you can SIT in my LAP." I hope her speech problems never go away. I'm in love with them.
In love with her.
Thankfully I'm early to everything because I'm an idiot who followed directions a leetle too closely and ended up not finding the place on the first try. When we pulled up I got a lump in my throat.
Heart. Specialty.
Two words that made this mama start to lose it a little bit. But this is where I really started losing it.
She had wires attached to her all over the place. "Stickers" as the nurse called them. It was in that moment I {finally} started talking to God about this situation.
I started thinking about things in my life I'd give up if He'd just let Spice be okay. Have you done that? Have you bartered with God? I tried it today. Ridiculous.
I took her "stickers" off and the poor girl was so tough. It looked so painful but she just watched me do it. We waited another few minutes and then they called us back for her Echo. I took off her little dress. Laid her down on the bed. She was so tired. And unsure.
But so trusting.
She laid there and the let Mark, the nicest tech ever, put more "stickers" on her. Then he placed that cold jelly on his little dealio (I'm techy, no?) and placed it over her heart. He started taking pictures. Explaining things to me that I'm too dumb to understand but I nodded and said, "uh huh" where I thought appropriate.
He measured stuff. Took pictures of stuff. Told me more stuff with more big words that I should probably know but don't.
Then, about 10 minutes in I look over to see that my sweet baby girl has fallen asleep while we talk about her heart. She's sound asleep. Not a care in the world.
Finally.
Finally he told me the words I needed to hear.
"She's perfect. Her heart is perfect. You don't have to be concerned about anything."
Thank You, Lord!
And thank you to all who have left comments, emailed, text, or called me letting me know you were praying for my sweet baby. I'm one thankful mama.
To know me is to know I'm early for everything. Ever-y-thing. So, this sweet girl endured some hours of shopping. And to reward her for her patience and to talk to her about her appointment, I took her to Starbucks.
We discussed that she was going to the doctor. That he'd be listening to her heart. And that Mama, of course, would be right there.
"Mama, can I shit your wap?"
"Yes, sweet girl, you can SIT in my LAP." I hope her speech problems never go away. I'm in love with them.
In love with her.
Thankfully I'm early to everything because I'm an idiot who followed directions a leetle too closely and ended up not finding the place on the first try. When we pulled up I got a lump in my throat.
Heart. Specialty.
Two words that made this mama start to lose it a little bit. But this is where I really started losing it.
She had wires attached to her all over the place. "Stickers" as the nurse called them. It was in that moment I {finally} started talking to God about this situation.
I started thinking about things in my life I'd give up if He'd just let Spice be okay. Have you done that? Have you bartered with God? I tried it today. Ridiculous.
I took her "stickers" off and the poor girl was so tough. It looked so painful but she just watched me do it. We waited another few minutes and then they called us back for her Echo. I took off her little dress. Laid her down on the bed. She was so tired. And unsure.
But so trusting.
She laid there and the let Mark, the nicest tech ever, put more "stickers" on her. Then he placed that cold jelly on his little dealio (I'm techy, no?) and placed it over her heart. He started taking pictures. Explaining things to me that I'm too dumb to understand but I nodded and said, "uh huh" where I thought appropriate.
He measured stuff. Took pictures of stuff. Told me more stuff with more big words that I should probably know but don't.
Then, about 10 minutes in I look over to see that my sweet baby girl has fallen asleep while we talk about her heart. She's sound asleep. Not a care in the world.
Finally.
Finally he told me the words I needed to hear.
"She's perfect. Her heart is perfect. You don't have to be concerned about anything."
Thank You, Lord!
And thank you to all who have left comments, emailed, text, or called me letting me know you were praying for my sweet baby. I'm one thankful mama.
a very jumbled TMI post about working out
First things, first.
If you're of the male variety - and you know who you are, Mister, it's time to click the little x in the top right. This post is not for you to read.
Okay, now that we have that settled and only females are reading, here goes.
Working out is embarrassing. Running is embarrassing. I super much hated it when I started at the end of January.
Wanna know why? And remember, I told you this post was TMI. You were warned.
Okay, so one of the reasons I hated running was because my shorts would creep up my thighs. You've seen it on women. Maybe you've seen it on me. It's not pretty. But when your thighs rub together, it happens. So, I'd be out there running and every once in a while I'd be pulling the shorts outta the crotch area.
So. Attractive.
(seriously, if there's any guy still reading. GET OUT.)
Then there's the issue of peeing while you run.
Yeah, I said it.
It happens. It also happens when I ride my bike. Don't you wish you worked out with me? I'm a blast! My shorts ride up my crotch and I pee my pants. Who wouldn't want to be work out partners with me?!
Seriously, though. The peeing issue sucks. I don't know if it's because I've had kids or what the deal is because I do not remember this being an issue when I ran Cross Country in high school (5 trillion years ago). Occasionally I'll put on a panty liner, other times I just pee my pants. Good times.
I'm not sure what finally got me to the point that I realized it was just time to get off my butt. I think I finally realized that my metabolism changed after kids. It wasn't nearly as easy to have it come off. I also realized just how sedentary my life is/was. I didn't move much at all during any given day.
I just went for it. I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and went into a gym. I participated in a class and felt like a fool. I felt like an ass.
And after 3 or 4 times I felt like less of a fool. I started to feel proud of myself. 'Cause even if I did look like a fool, at least I was there. At least I was finally doing something other than complain. And then I set a goal. I set a goal to run a 5K. 3 miles. Doesn't seem like much to some but for a girl who hadn't run in 15 years, it was a big deal.
So I set the goal. I made the goal public for accountability. And then I accomplished it. I figured after I met my goal I'd probably quit running. I did. For almost four weeks. I still kept at the gym but I stopped running for awhile. But I eventually got back into it and once I hit the road instead of the treadmill, it almost got addicting.
I've added in bike riding.
When I first started the bike, it was the one at the gym. When I'd look down my tummy hung over my pants so much that I couldn't see my crotch. (TMI!) and tonight while I was on the bike at the gym, I looked down and there it was!
4 months ago I should have measured myself, I almost did. Honestly, though, I didn't think I'd stick with this. So I didn't want to know my measurements. I wish I had. I know I've lost several inches everywhere. I've gone from a size 12 or 14 (depending on brand) to an 8 or 10. The smallest jeans I own are now loose in my thighs (one of the main areas of my body that I LOATHE) so I'm feeling a little better there. My love handles are going away but are definitely still there.
My tummy? Oh, my tummy. I still look like I just gave birth a few weeks ago so let's not even go there. It's amazing what a shirt can hide. So please, even if you feel compelled the next time you see me, don't lift my shirt, k?
Glad we got that settled.
I had planned to run Bloomsday. A 12K. 7.5 miles. I ended up not. I bailed. And I felt like a failure. Then I had the opportunity on Saturday to run a 12K. Though I didn't know it was a 12K. I thought it was *just* six miles. I hadn't run in almost four weeks but I went for it.
I'm still not sure why.
I'm so glad I did though. Running those 7.5 miles without walking made me realize something.
I'm stronger than I've ever given myself credit for. I can do more than I thought possible.
And if I can do it, anyone can.
It takes getting out of the comfort zone. It takes believing in yourself just a tiny bit and rejecting any lies you normally let yourself believe. It takes guts.
It takes balls.
And even if you don't believe you can do it, I believe you can.
If you're of the male variety - and you know who you are, Mister, it's time to click the little x in the top right. This post is not for you to read.
Okay, now that we have that settled and only females are reading, here goes.
Working out is embarrassing. Running is embarrassing. I super much hated it when I started at the end of January.
Wanna know why? And remember, I told you this post was TMI. You were warned.
Okay, so one of the reasons I hated running was because my shorts would creep up my thighs. You've seen it on women. Maybe you've seen it on me. It's not pretty. But when your thighs rub together, it happens. So, I'd be out there running and every once in a while I'd be pulling the shorts outta the crotch area.
So. Attractive.
(seriously, if there's any guy still reading. GET OUT.)
Then there's the issue of peeing while you run.
Yeah, I said it.
It happens. It also happens when I ride my bike. Don't you wish you worked out with me? I'm a blast! My shorts ride up my crotch and I pee my pants. Who wouldn't want to be work out partners with me?!
Seriously, though. The peeing issue sucks. I don't know if it's because I've had kids or what the deal is because I do not remember this being an issue when I ran Cross Country in high school (5 trillion years ago). Occasionally I'll put on a panty liner, other times I just pee my pants. Good times.
I'm not sure what finally got me to the point that I realized it was just time to get off my butt. I think I finally realized that my metabolism changed after kids. It wasn't nearly as easy to have it come off. I also realized just how sedentary my life is/was. I didn't move much at all during any given day.
I just went for it. I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and went into a gym. I participated in a class and felt like a fool. I felt like an ass.
And after 3 or 4 times I felt like less of a fool. I started to feel proud of myself. 'Cause even if I did look like a fool, at least I was there. At least I was finally doing something other than complain. And then I set a goal. I set a goal to run a 5K. 3 miles. Doesn't seem like much to some but for a girl who hadn't run in 15 years, it was a big deal.
So I set the goal. I made the goal public for accountability. And then I accomplished it. I figured after I met my goal I'd probably quit running. I did. For almost four weeks. I still kept at the gym but I stopped running for awhile. But I eventually got back into it and once I hit the road instead of the treadmill, it almost got addicting.
I've added in bike riding.
When I first started the bike, it was the one at the gym. When I'd look down my tummy hung over my pants so much that I couldn't see my crotch. (TMI!) and tonight while I was on the bike at the gym, I looked down and there it was!
4 months ago I should have measured myself, I almost did. Honestly, though, I didn't think I'd stick with this. So I didn't want to know my measurements. I wish I had. I know I've lost several inches everywhere. I've gone from a size 12 or 14 (depending on brand) to an 8 or 10. The smallest jeans I own are now loose in my thighs (one of the main areas of my body that I LOATHE) so I'm feeling a little better there. My love handles are going away but are definitely still there.
My tummy? Oh, my tummy. I still look like I just gave birth a few weeks ago so let's not even go there. It's amazing what a shirt can hide. So please, even if you feel compelled the next time you see me, don't lift my shirt, k?
Glad we got that settled.
I had planned to run Bloomsday. A 12K. 7.5 miles. I ended up not. I bailed. And I felt like a failure. Then I had the opportunity on Saturday to run a 12K. Though I didn't know it was a 12K. I thought it was *just* six miles. I hadn't run in almost four weeks but I went for it.
I'm still not sure why.
I'm so glad I did though. Running those 7.5 miles without walking made me realize something.
I'm stronger than I've ever given myself credit for. I can do more than I thought possible.
And if I can do it, anyone can.
It takes getting out of the comfort zone. It takes believing in yourself just a tiny bit and rejecting any lies you normally let yourself believe. It takes guts.
It takes balls.
And even if you don't believe you can do it, I believe you can.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
doing what's best
Parenting is hard.
'Specially when you have 50 bajillion people watching you do it.
As soon as anyone knows you're expecting you get unsolicited advice. Then, after the kid is born that unsolicited advice doesn't stop.
I've mentioned before I had a family member inform me that I wasn't doing as good of a job raising my kids as she did raising hers and I'm sure there are many others who feel that way but just haven't had the balls to say it.
{sorry, i just said balls.}
I don't always make the best decisions where my girls are involved. But I try. I really do.
The Friday after Spice's birthday I took her in for a Well Child appointment. She's a tiny little bug. 5th percentile for her weight (must get that from me) and 15th percentile for height (gets that from her daddy.)
She can hop on one leg for two seconds. Her eyes look good. Her ears look good. Her throat, too.
Her heart, though?
Well, the doctor found that Spice has a heart murmur.
She said that it may just be an innocent heart murmur. One that won't ever cause any problems. But she said that it may not just be an innocent heart murmur and that we wouldn't know unless we had it checked out.
She recommended I make an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist as soon as possible.
Our appointment is tomorrow.
Plenty of people have said we shouldn't bother.
Others have said nothing.
And a couple have agreed with me that it's better safe than sorry.
I'm willing to fork out the money for them to tell me there's nothing wrong with her. I am.
But in case there is something wrong, will you please pray for my bitty girl?
'Specially when you have 50 bajillion people watching you do it.
As soon as anyone knows you're expecting you get unsolicited advice. Then, after the kid is born that unsolicited advice doesn't stop.
I've mentioned before I had a family member inform me that I wasn't doing as good of a job raising my kids as she did raising hers and I'm sure there are many others who feel that way but just haven't had the balls to say it.
{sorry, i just said balls.}
I don't always make the best decisions where my girls are involved. But I try. I really do.
The Friday after Spice's birthday I took her in for a Well Child appointment. She's a tiny little bug. 5th percentile for her weight (must get that from me) and 15th percentile for height (gets that from her daddy.)
She can hop on one leg for two seconds. Her eyes look good. Her ears look good. Her throat, too.
Her heart, though?
Well, the doctor found that Spice has a heart murmur.
She said that it may just be an innocent heart murmur. One that won't ever cause any problems. But she said that it may not just be an innocent heart murmur and that we wouldn't know unless we had it checked out.
She recommended I make an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist as soon as possible.
Our appointment is tomorrow.
Plenty of people have said we shouldn't bother.
Others have said nothing.
And a couple have agreed with me that it's better safe than sorry.
I'm willing to fork out the money for them to tell me there's nothing wrong with her. I am.
But in case there is something wrong, will you please pray for my bitty girl?
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Last Minute Decision
{yawn}
I'm tired.
Oh. So. Tired.
Partly because I was awake until 3:30 this morning. And partly because I just finished running a 7.5 mile run with a bunch of other people.
Yeah.
7.5 miles.
I've never run that far.
Ever ever.
The most I've run in the last 4 months is 3.1 miles. Today was more than twice that.
Where's my pain meds?
My wonderful friend, Candee, asked if I wanted to run it. I told her I'd think about it. And I thought about it and I thought it was just the dumbest idea ever. At the time I thought it was 6.5 miles. 6.5 miles is a lot. Too much for this chubby chick with bad shins and even worse shoes.
But apparently last night someone invaded my thought process and decided that it would be a fantastic idea to go ahead and run this stupid 12K.
So I show up. And she shows up. Here we are:
And then she tells me it's not 6.5 miles. It's 7.5 miles.
I wanted to call my mommy.
Instead.
We ran.
At the five mile marker I got goosebumps. I was pumped. So excited. Almost cried. At 6.5 miles I wanted to call my mommy again.
At mile 7 I wasn't sure I could keep up my pace and not walk. I rounded the last corner. Heard some cheers. Saw my husband and kids. I had nothing left in me to kick in for a sprint. I'd spent it all, man.
I loved it.
It was awesome.
I don't know my official time yet (my phone died at the end and I was keeping track) but I'm guessing 1:23-1:25ish.
Here we are at the end:
Thank you, Candee, for encouraging me to do this and get outta my comfort zone. I owe you a coffee! (or something way stronger!)
I'm tired.
Oh. So. Tired.
Partly because I was awake until 3:30 this morning. And partly because I just finished running a 7.5 mile run with a bunch of other people.
Yeah.
7.5 miles.
I've never run that far.
Ever ever.
The most I've run in the last 4 months is 3.1 miles. Today was more than twice that.
Where's my pain meds?
My wonderful friend, Candee, asked if I wanted to run it. I told her I'd think about it. And I thought about it and I thought it was just the dumbest idea ever. At the time I thought it was 6.5 miles. 6.5 miles is a lot. Too much for this chubby chick with bad shins and even worse shoes.
But apparently last night someone invaded my thought process and decided that it would be a fantastic idea to go ahead and run this stupid 12K.
So I show up. And she shows up. Here we are:
I wanted to call my mommy.
Instead.
We ran.
At the five mile marker I got goosebumps. I was pumped. So excited. Almost cried. At 6.5 miles I wanted to call my mommy again.
At mile 7 I wasn't sure I could keep up my pace and not walk. I rounded the last corner. Heard some cheers. Saw my husband and kids. I had nothing left in me to kick in for a sprint. I'd spent it all, man.
I loved it.
It was awesome.
I don't know my official time yet (my phone died at the end and I was keeping track) but I'm guessing 1:23-1:25ish.
Here we are at the end:
Thank you, Candee, for encouraging me to do this and get outta my comfort zone. I owe you a coffee! (or something way stronger!)
Monday, May 09, 2011
the real heroes in my book
Yesterday was Mother's Day.
I've heard commercial after commercial for the last two weeks leading up to the day. One ad said something about, "Mom being the hero of the family."
I'm no hero in this household. I don't do any of what I do alone.
The real heroes on Mother's Day - in my book?
The single moms who never get a break. Who do the cooking, cleaning, working, comforting and training of children alone.
The single dads. The men who do what most men don't have to. They do all of the above, but the difference is that it's not necessarily natural to them. But they do it.
I think they're pretty stinkin' amazing.
So, Happy {belated} Mother's Day to you single mamas.
And to you daddies out there who do what's usually "woman's work".
Thank you for all you've done and continue to do for your children. You're doing a great job.
i'm not at all trying to discredit those who aren't single mothers. but, being raised by one, i know how hard it was on my mama. and i know that at the end of the day no one told her thank you.
I've heard commercial after commercial for the last two weeks leading up to the day. One ad said something about, "Mom being the hero of the family."
I'm no hero in this household. I don't do any of what I do alone.
The real heroes on Mother's Day - in my book?
The single moms who never get a break. Who do the cooking, cleaning, working, comforting and training of children alone.
The single dads. The men who do what most men don't have to. They do all of the above, but the difference is that it's not necessarily natural to them. But they do it.
I think they're pretty stinkin' amazing.
So, Happy {belated} Mother's Day to you single mamas.
And to you daddies out there who do what's usually "woman's work".
Thank you for all you've done and continue to do for your children. You're doing a great job.
i'm not at all trying to discredit those who aren't single mothers. but, being raised by one, i know how hard it was on my mama. and i know that at the end of the day no one told her thank you.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Ten to Go
This weight loss thing seems to have taken forever.
But slow and steady wins the race, right?
Sure, that's what we'll go with.
Since the end of January when I started this endeavor, I have lost 18 lbs. Cuh-razy.
And now I have less than a month to lose these last 10 lbs if I want to do it before my goal date. (June 3rd) I don't think it's going to happen. (Partly because I'm currently drinking an iced hazelnut breve) (Partly because I have a fresh loaf of french bread waiting for me for lunch) (and a Caramello)
I'm not going to be upset if I can't lose these last 10 lbs before the 3rd. I'm stoked at what I've lost so far. I feel great. Many of my clothes are too big. And my husband just gave me a chunk o' change for my birthday. I plan to blow it on clothes.
And maybe some more coffee...
I was emailing a friend this morning about running. I told her when I first started, I wasn't really a fan. It took me a good couple of weeks to get in my groove. Then, at about week 4 I hit a funk again. Now, it's not that I look forward to running (i'm not there yet) but after I'm at it, I feel good and I'm glad I put out the effort.
I'm looking forward to making some new goals after these last 10 lbs are off. I don't know if it'll be to lose more (10 lbs still won't put me at pre-pregnancy weight) or if it'll be another race.
One thing at a time, I s'pose.
But slow and steady wins the race, right?
Sure, that's what we'll go with.
Since the end of January when I started this endeavor, I have lost 18 lbs. Cuh-razy.
And now I have less than a month to lose these last 10 lbs if I want to do it before my goal date. (June 3rd) I don't think it's going to happen. (Partly because I'm currently drinking an iced hazelnut breve) (Partly because I have a fresh loaf of french bread waiting for me for lunch) (and a Caramello)
I'm not going to be upset if I can't lose these last 10 lbs before the 3rd. I'm stoked at what I've lost so far. I feel great. Many of my clothes are too big. And my husband just gave me a chunk o' change for my birthday. I plan to blow it on clothes.
And maybe some more coffee...
I was emailing a friend this morning about running. I told her when I first started, I wasn't really a fan. It took me a good couple of weeks to get in my groove. Then, at about week 4 I hit a funk again. Now, it's not that I look forward to running (i'm not there yet) but after I'm at it, I feel good and I'm glad I put out the effort.
I'm looking forward to making some new goals after these last 10 lbs are off. I don't know if it'll be to lose more (10 lbs still won't put me at pre-pregnancy weight) or if it'll be another race.
One thing at a time, I s'pose.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
sleep is overrated, this three year old, however, is not.
Last year was two.
Today my sweet girl is three.
She woke up in the foulest mood this morning. She often does but today was bad. Worse than it's been in awhile. This was what she looked like right after I put her birthday dress and hat on her. You think the hat made her cry? It's so cute. It has three candles on it and everything.
This little babe of mine, oh sweet, naughty girl that she is...she holds my heart. She consumes me. Our household. She makes the rest of us want to pull our hair out. Plug our ears. Run for the hills.
But we just can't get enough of her either.
I mean, who could get enough of this sweet face?
Life with her is hard. These have been a trying three years for Josh, Sugar and me. Spicey-Spice. Oh how we love her. You can't know her and not love her. She's fantastic. But she's moody. And it's rough.
But I wouldn't trade a minute of the trials. I don't know what I'd do without this little babe.
You know, besides sleep.
But I'd rather be sleep deprived, than Alison deprived.
Happy 3rd Birthday to the naughtiest, sweetest little girl.
Mama loves you so!
Today my sweet girl is three.
She woke up in the foulest mood this morning. She often does but today was bad. Worse than it's been in awhile. This was what she looked like right after I put her birthday dress and hat on her. You think the hat made her cry? It's so cute. It has three candles on it and everything.
This little babe of mine, oh sweet, naughty girl that she is...she holds my heart. She consumes me. Our household. She makes the rest of us want to pull our hair out. Plug our ears. Run for the hills.
But we just can't get enough of her either.
I mean, who could get enough of this sweet face?
But I wouldn't trade a minute of the trials. I don't know what I'd do without this little babe.
You know, besides sleep.
But I'd rather be sleep deprived, than Alison deprived.
Happy 3rd Birthday to the naughtiest, sweetest little girl.
Mama loves you so!
Monday, May 02, 2011
My Longest Recorded Bike Ride
I can barely walk this morning.
We got this brilliant idea yesterday to save some gas money and instead of driving to the gym and back (34 miles round trip) heck, why not just bike it?
Uh, maybe because I've never gone more than 20 miles on a bike before? And because that's insanity? And how the heck did I think I could do Body Flow after just having ridden 17 miles (with a head wind!) and then after Body Flow to ride back home! Holy. Moly.
I felt awesome when we got home. Josh felt completely burned out and I'm guessing that's because he had the girls in the trailer behind him and well, that adds 100 lbs to him. The poor dude.
During the night I stretched my legs and flipped out. My thighs. Oh. My. Thighs. I could barely get out of bed. Josh of course, just fine. No soreness. And we're both fried.
My goal is to make that ride twice a week. My Body Flow class on Tues and Thurs is at 7. If I left shortly after Josh got home on those days I could make it to class on time. Class gets out at 8 and during the summer it's light enough to make it home. And I can always call him to come get me but really I'd like to save the gas money.
We'll see if it happens but as of now, that's the goal.
These last 12ish pounds have GOT to go. And stat. Only one month and one day to meet my goal!
We got this brilliant idea yesterday to save some gas money and instead of driving to the gym and back (34 miles round trip) heck, why not just bike it?
Uh, maybe because I've never gone more than 20 miles on a bike before? And because that's insanity? And how the heck did I think I could do Body Flow after just having ridden 17 miles (with a head wind!) and then after Body Flow to ride back home! Holy. Moly.
I felt awesome when we got home. Josh felt completely burned out and I'm guessing that's because he had the girls in the trailer behind him and well, that adds 100 lbs to him. The poor dude.
During the night I stretched my legs and flipped out. My thighs. Oh. My. Thighs. I could barely get out of bed. Josh of course, just fine. No soreness. And we're both fried.
My goal is to make that ride twice a week. My Body Flow class on Tues and Thurs is at 7. If I left shortly after Josh got home on those days I could make it to class on time. Class gets out at 8 and during the summer it's light enough to make it home. And I can always call him to come get me but really I'd like to save the gas money.
We'll see if it happens but as of now, that's the goal.
These last 12ish pounds have GOT to go. And stat. Only one month and one day to meet my goal!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday Random
I'm stuck. I have found a weight loss rut and have decided to stay there. I'm none too thrilled. I have 14 lbs that need to come off before my birthday. June 3rd in case you don't have it written/circled/starred on your calendar.
14 lbs in a little over a month? Can I pull it off? Maybe if I laid off the Blue Moon and onions fried in bacon grease...
I'll be homeschooling Sugar next year.
And I won't be blogging about homeschool, public or private school again.
Spice is still refusing to sit on the toilet. I'm pretty sure she wants to wear Mickey/Minnie for the rest of her life.
I'm running an average of 2 miles per day. I'd really like to run 5 miles per day. Uhh...that would require not turning into my driveway when the goin' gets tough.
Speaking of running, I'm not doing Bloomsday as planned. Waaahh. At first it was a gas issue, as in fuel. Not gas as in...well, nevermind. Then it turned out that I ran a lot more than normal last week and my shins hate me for it. They lamented. I lamented. I lived on Aleve last week. I'm researching shoes and am hopeful that someone will take me shopping and help me buy them... Maybe new shoes will help my legs? And a new outfit too? And dinner and a movie? Yeah, that should help my shins.
Currently thinking about/designing my next tattoo. I know where I want 'er. Just not sure what I want. It'll be my third. I think I'll be able to stop there. Because I couldn't stop at 4, since that's an even number (and to know me is to know I don't like even numbers) (but that does NOT mean I don't like an even number of children) and five seems like a lot. Well, not really a lot, but since the husband isn't a fan of them (the tattoos, he likes the kids), he might flip over 5. And 3 he seems meh about.
I haven't had my hair trimmed or colored since my birthday. You know, the one on June 3rd. I'm planning to have it cut on my birthday again this year. Still trying to decide if I want to color it again. I have quite a bit of grey coming in and part of me wants to cover it up and the other part says embrace it.
I have a cold. I've been coughing and sneezing for three days. It's not pretty. Yesterday morning I woke up with puffy eyes and I kinda just wanted to go back to bed til June 3rd. Feeling quite a bit better today but still.
Josh has emptied the dishwasher twice in the last couple of days. That's the chore I hate. It's been fabulous.
And he just went to WalMart for dog and cat food. I've been avoiding that place like the plague so he's totally scoring points right now.
Looked at houses for sale in the Tri-Cities. It was fun and depressing. Found a place I'd love. Too bad my house would never be sell ready in time. I'd totally go for it. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and only 159,000. And no, it wasn't trashed. Just needed a whole lotta new carpet as 1958 wasn't good to that place.
Now that my van is paid off I'm itching for a new rig. It's bad. Real bad. Must. Be. Content. But if anyone has a Jeep Grand Cherokee with heated leather seats, sunroof, CD changer and cupholders they'd like to give away - email me. I'll take 'er off your hands.
Just looked up to see that Spice has a mouthful of blue Play-Doh in her mouth. Nice, huh?
A week from today my little booger will be three. Where has the time gone? Just yesterday she turned two, right?
Okay, random over. I need to put on my make-up and get this t-shirt off my head.
Happy Hump Day!
14 lbs in a little over a month? Can I pull it off? Maybe if I laid off the Blue Moon and onions fried in bacon grease...
I'll be homeschooling Sugar next year.
And I won't be blogging about homeschool, public or private school again.
Spice is still refusing to sit on the toilet. I'm pretty sure she wants to wear Mickey/Minnie for the rest of her life.
I'm running an average of 2 miles per day. I'd really like to run 5 miles per day. Uhh...that would require not turning into my driveway when the goin' gets tough.
Speaking of running, I'm not doing Bloomsday as planned. Waaahh. At first it was a gas issue, as in fuel. Not gas as in...well, nevermind. Then it turned out that I ran a lot more than normal last week and my shins hate me for it. They lamented. I lamented. I lived on Aleve last week. I'm researching shoes and am hopeful that someone will take me shopping and help me buy them... Maybe new shoes will help my legs? And a new outfit too? And dinner and a movie? Yeah, that should help my shins.
Currently thinking about/designing my next tattoo. I know where I want 'er. Just not sure what I want. It'll be my third. I think I'll be able to stop there. Because I couldn't stop at 4, since that's an even number (and to know me is to know I don't like even numbers) (but that does NOT mean I don't like an even number of children) and five seems like a lot. Well, not really a lot, but since the husband isn't a fan of them (the tattoos, he likes the kids), he might flip over 5. And 3 he seems meh about.
I haven't had my hair trimmed or colored since my birthday. You know, the one on June 3rd. I'm planning to have it cut on my birthday again this year. Still trying to decide if I want to color it again. I have quite a bit of grey coming in and part of me wants to cover it up and the other part says embrace it.
I have a cold. I've been coughing and sneezing for three days. It's not pretty. Yesterday morning I woke up with puffy eyes and I kinda just wanted to go back to bed til June 3rd. Feeling quite a bit better today but still.
Josh has emptied the dishwasher twice in the last couple of days. That's the chore I hate. It's been fabulous.
And he just went to WalMart for dog and cat food. I've been avoiding that place like the plague so he's totally scoring points right now.
Looked at houses for sale in the Tri-Cities. It was fun and depressing. Found a place I'd love. Too bad my house would never be sell ready in time. I'd totally go for it. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and only 159,000. And no, it wasn't trashed. Just needed a whole lotta new carpet as 1958 wasn't good to that place.
Now that my van is paid off I'm itching for a new rig. It's bad. Real bad. Must. Be. Content. But if anyone has a Jeep Grand Cherokee with heated leather seats, sunroof, CD changer and cupholders they'd like to give away - email me. I'll take 'er off your hands.
Just looked up to see that Spice has a mouthful of blue Play-Doh in her mouth. Nice, huh?
A week from today my little booger will be three. Where has the time gone? Just yesterday she turned two, right?
Okay, random over. I need to put on my make-up and get this t-shirt off my head.
Happy Hump Day!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Tire Story
Once upon a time about 4 years ago we bought Josh some nice tires for our '99 Suburban.
And then gas went up to a bajillion dollars a gallon and we traded 'er in for our van.
With the fancy tires still on said Suburban.
I think Josh wept that day.
Our '85 Suburban has had some lame-o tires on 'er for quite some time. With the lift kit it looks a little silly with her stupid tires.
So.
We started searching Craigslist and eBay for tires. With not much luck.
I got tired of the searching.
So.
On Friday I went into Discount Tire, asked if they had the size and brand of tires I wanted. Indeed they did. I told him I'd be back in the morning (Saturday) with the Suburban and he said okay and proceeded to take over a thousand bucks outta my checking account.
Owie.
Josh gets a call to help someone out in the church for Saturday and since this whole tire deal was a surprise I had to figure out a way to get him to drive my van instead of his rig.
"Uh, I won't be going anywhere on Saturday and I just filled Pearl (my van) so you could take her if you wanted."
I must have been uber convincing 'cause he went for it.
And I loaded up Spice after he left with Sugar and off we went to Discount Tire.
I'm about 1/2 a mile from my exit when I remember we have our studded tires and wheels on the rig. Not the right wheels for the new tires to be mounted on.
I may have sworn under my breath a little bit.
Okay, I totally did.
It wouldn't be a big deal but the tire store is 50 miles from my house.
See why I cussed?!
I took the exit, went into the tire store, explained my dilemma and made another appointment for 3 hours later. As I'm making the appointment for 1 pm I realize I have no clue where the other wheels are at our house. We've got alotta junk here.
I get home. Pull Spicey-Spice from her car seat and proceed to look around our property for said wheels and bald tires. I find them pretty quickly and begin to roll one over to the Suburban. And then I try to lift the frickin' thing.
I'm a total pansy.
Didn't work.
I may have used some more foul language. May have...
I put my hands on my hips and wanted to cry. This surprise was not going as planned. Then Spice put her hands on her hips and I busted up.
I found a board that was long enough and just barely wide enough to be used as a ramp for the tires. I loaded them up. Threw Spice back in her car seat and headed back to Discount Tire.
We pull in, I head in and tell 'em the tires are in the back and I'm going to Dairy Queen.
Okay, I didn't tell them I was headed there but I was.
And it was good.
The tire place has a grassy area that Spice and I laid around in. It was sunny and warm and I got my first tan of the season! Woo hoo! We played around and laughed and took pictures of our silly selves and then the fun and games came to an end when Stewart (we were on first name basis at this point) comes out to tell me that I didn't bring the lug nuts.
Insert more cusswords.
He says they don't have any there but he'd call their other store.
Other store doesn't have 'em either.
"Schuck's might have them, would you like me to call there?"
I asked how much they'd be.
"Probably 80 bucks."
And that's when I decided Josh could mount his own frickin' tires on the Suburban. I thanked Stewart but declined.
"Just go ahead and put 'em in the back of the rig, he can mount them himself."
He leaves, comes back.
"Sarah, if Schuck's has the lug nuts I'll cover 'em."
I wanted to kiss him.
Okay, not really. But he was really nice to me and I appreciated it.
Sadly, the lug nuts for our stupid rig aren't super common and Schuck's didn't have them in stock.
Bugger.
But still nice of Stewart to offer, right?!
About ten minutes before I was going to leave, Josh calls and informs me he's on his way home from Yakima.
Mind you, he has no idea where I am. We're about a 100 miles from each other.
I kinda stammered on the phone because in the background there's an impact wrench blasting.
"Uh, I'll see you there."
"Where are you?" he asks.
"By my mom's?" I totally wasn't by my mom's. And why would I be by her house and not just at her house. I'm a great liar apparently.
I flew outta the parking lot and sped home. Praying I didn't get pulled over because I left my license in the jeans I'd worn the night before.
I'm a couple minutes from home when he calls.
"I think I know what you're trying to do."
Stupid Sarah left the other car seat laying in the driveway. That got his curiosity up. Then he noticed the wheels were missing.
Big sigh.
I pulled in the driveway with the stupid studded tires on and the new tires in the back of the rig. Nice surprise, huh? Here's your tires, put 'em on your freakin' self!
He says he likes them. And he really should. But I still feel like a total moron for first forgetting that I needed the right wheels and then for forgetting the stupid lug nuts. I'm such a girl. Usually I'm okay with that until I make a complete idiot of myself.
I really hate making an idiot of myself.
So.
That was my Saturday.
How'd you spend yours?
And then gas went up to a bajillion dollars a gallon and we traded 'er in for our van.
With the fancy tires still on said Suburban.
I think Josh wept that day.
Our '85 Suburban has had some lame-o tires on 'er for quite some time. With the lift kit it looks a little silly with her stupid tires.
So.
We started searching Craigslist and eBay for tires. With not much luck.
I got tired of the searching.
So.
On Friday I went into Discount Tire, asked if they had the size and brand of tires I wanted. Indeed they did. I told him I'd be back in the morning (Saturday) with the Suburban and he said okay and proceeded to take over a thousand bucks outta my checking account.
Owie.
Josh gets a call to help someone out in the church for Saturday and since this whole tire deal was a surprise I had to figure out a way to get him to drive my van instead of his rig.
"Uh, I won't be going anywhere on Saturday and I just filled Pearl (my van) so you could take her if you wanted."
I must have been uber convincing 'cause he went for it.
And I loaded up Spice after he left with Sugar and off we went to Discount Tire.
I'm about 1/2 a mile from my exit when I remember we have our studded tires and wheels on the rig. Not the right wheels for the new tires to be mounted on.
I may have sworn under my breath a little bit.
Okay, I totally did.
It wouldn't be a big deal but the tire store is 50 miles from my house.
See why I cussed?!
I took the exit, went into the tire store, explained my dilemma and made another appointment for 3 hours later. As I'm making the appointment for 1 pm I realize I have no clue where the other wheels are at our house. We've got alotta junk here.
I get home. Pull Spicey-Spice from her car seat and proceed to look around our property for said wheels and bald tires. I find them pretty quickly and begin to roll one over to the Suburban. And then I try to lift the frickin' thing.
I'm a total pansy.
Didn't work.
I may have used some more foul language. May have...
I put my hands on my hips and wanted to cry. This surprise was not going as planned. Then Spice put her hands on her hips and I busted up.
I found a board that was long enough and just barely wide enough to be used as a ramp for the tires. I loaded them up. Threw Spice back in her car seat and headed back to Discount Tire.
We pull in, I head in and tell 'em the tires are in the back and I'm going to Dairy Queen.
Okay, I didn't tell them I was headed there but I was.
And it was good.
The tire place has a grassy area that Spice and I laid around in. It was sunny and warm and I got my first tan of the season! Woo hoo! We played around and laughed and took pictures of our silly selves and then the fun and games came to an end when Stewart (we were on first name basis at this point) comes out to tell me that I didn't bring the lug nuts.
Insert more cusswords.
He says they don't have any there but he'd call their other store.
Other store doesn't have 'em either.
"Schuck's might have them, would you like me to call there?"
I asked how much they'd be.
"Probably 80 bucks."
And that's when I decided Josh could mount his own frickin' tires on the Suburban. I thanked Stewart but declined.
"Just go ahead and put 'em in the back of the rig, he can mount them himself."
He leaves, comes back.
"Sarah, if Schuck's has the lug nuts I'll cover 'em."
I wanted to kiss him.
Okay, not really. But he was really nice to me and I appreciated it.
Sadly, the lug nuts for our stupid rig aren't super common and Schuck's didn't have them in stock.
Bugger.
But still nice of Stewart to offer, right?!
About ten minutes before I was going to leave, Josh calls and informs me he's on his way home from Yakima.
Mind you, he has no idea where I am. We're about a 100 miles from each other.
I kinda stammered on the phone because in the background there's an impact wrench blasting.
"Uh, I'll see you there."
"Where are you?" he asks.
"By my mom's?" I totally wasn't by my mom's. And why would I be by her house and not just at her house. I'm a great liar apparently.
I flew outta the parking lot and sped home. Praying I didn't get pulled over because I left my license in the jeans I'd worn the night before.
I'm a couple minutes from home when he calls.
"I think I know what you're trying to do."
Stupid Sarah left the other car seat laying in the driveway. That got his curiosity up. Then he noticed the wheels were missing.
Big sigh.
I pulled in the driveway with the stupid studded tires on and the new tires in the back of the rig. Nice surprise, huh? Here's your tires, put 'em on your freakin' self!
He says he likes them. And he really should. But I still feel like a total moron for first forgetting that I needed the right wheels and then for forgetting the stupid lug nuts. I'm such a girl. Usually I'm okay with that until I make a complete idiot of myself.
I really hate making an idiot of myself.
So.
That was my Saturday.
How'd you spend yours?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I Quit Homeschooling {and life} That Day
"It's only Kindergarten."
If I had a dime for every time someone said that to me before we started this school year, or even during, I'd be a wealthy chick.
Well, this only Kindergarten deal?
Proves to be too much.
I've failed.
And I'm okay with admitting it. In fact, I feel so freed up by it. Tears of relief stream down my cheeks right now. They've been coming down for 2.5 hours.
I quit.
I'm done.
No more.
At least not after this school year. I called the Christian school in town. I found out tuition for next year. At this point I don't see how it's possible for us to send her to private school. It would be about $500 per month. But with home schooling not being an option anymore and public school definitely not being an option, changes will have to be made to our budget so that Sugar can go to school.
I'd say that sending her to school is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done but right now I feel like home schooling is the hardest thing I've ever done.
I tried.
I did.
But I didn't do a good job. I can't continue on like this. It's not fair to Sugar. She's a smart girl who needs a teacher that is structured and patient, smart and encouraging. She needs a teacher who - get this - knows how to teach. Go figure, huh?
I'm not that teacher.
She deserves better.
So next school year I'll get that for her.
I wrote this last Friday morning. It's been a few days and I've backed away from my ledge of insanity I was about to jump from.
Friday was a really rough day. Friday night wasn't much better. We drove to Richland to look at some tires for Josh's Suburban and on the way I told him I thought we should move to the Tri-Cities. He looked at me like I had two heads.
"There's more options for schools for the girls."
He shook his head.
Conversation over.
We didn't get the tires. We did get groceries. And we did get home really late. We put the groceries away in silence. I was ready to just go to bed, my day had been long and so emotionally exhausting.
"We need to talk," he says.
So we talked. Mostly I talked. I let it all out. How I feel like I suck at pretty much anything that has to do with my life. My faith, my wifeliness, my mothering and, my homeschoolishness.
Was telling a friend it'd be nice to just go away for awhile.
The response I got, "okay, Marie Osmond."
Totally cracked me up.
I remember when she did that. When she took off and drove. And I remember thinking she was so selfish. How could she up and leave her family?
Funny how you judge someone til you've walked a mile in their flip flops.
I'm not going to up and leave.
{at least not at the moment}
Instead I'm going to keep trudging. Through this life I'm living. This life I know I'm beyond blessed with.
I'm going to keep home schooling my kid. Even though I feel like I suck at it.
I'm going to keep being a wife to Josh. Even though I suck at it.
I'm going to keep being a mother to my children. Even though I suck at it.
'Cause it's gotta get better, right? I mean, I don't think I can get any worse.
If I had a dime for every time someone said that to me before we started this school year, or even during, I'd be a wealthy chick.
Well, this only Kindergarten deal?
Proves to be too much.
I've failed.
And I'm okay with admitting it. In fact, I feel so freed up by it. Tears of relief stream down my cheeks right now. They've been coming down for 2.5 hours.
I quit.
I'm done.
No more.
At least not after this school year. I called the Christian school in town. I found out tuition for next year. At this point I don't see how it's possible for us to send her to private school. It would be about $500 per month. But with home schooling not being an option anymore and public school definitely not being an option, changes will have to be made to our budget so that Sugar can go to school.
I'd say that sending her to school is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done but right now I feel like home schooling is the hardest thing I've ever done.
I tried.
I did.
But I didn't do a good job. I can't continue on like this. It's not fair to Sugar. She's a smart girl who needs a teacher that is structured and patient, smart and encouraging. She needs a teacher who - get this - knows how to teach. Go figure, huh?
I'm not that teacher.
She deserves better.
So next school year I'll get that for her.
I wrote this last Friday morning. It's been a few days and I've backed away from my ledge of insanity I was about to jump from.
Friday was a really rough day. Friday night wasn't much better. We drove to Richland to look at some tires for Josh's Suburban and on the way I told him I thought we should move to the Tri-Cities. He looked at me like I had two heads.
"There's more options for schools for the girls."
He shook his head.
Conversation over.
We didn't get the tires. We did get groceries. And we did get home really late. We put the groceries away in silence. I was ready to just go to bed, my day had been long and so emotionally exhausting.
"We need to talk," he says.
So we talked. Mostly I talked. I let it all out. How I feel like I suck at pretty much anything that has to do with my life. My faith, my wifeliness, my mothering and, my homeschoolishness.
Was telling a friend it'd be nice to just go away for awhile.
The response I got, "okay, Marie Osmond."
Totally cracked me up.
I remember when she did that. When she took off and drove. And I remember thinking she was so selfish. How could she up and leave her family?
Funny how you judge someone til you've walked a mile in their flip flops.
I'm not going to up and leave.
{at least not at the moment}
Instead I'm going to keep trudging. Through this life I'm living. This life I know I'm beyond blessed with.
I'm going to keep home schooling my kid. Even though I feel like I suck at it.
I'm going to keep being a wife to Josh. Even though I suck at it.
I'm going to keep being a mother to my children. Even though I suck at it.
'Cause it's gotta get better, right? I mean, I don't think I can get any worse.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Conversations
Random conversations of my life in the last week or so that have made me laugh and think.
Me: Good morning, honey!
Spice: Baby?
(Translation: Justin Bieber, stat.)
Me: Have you found my perfect rig yet?
Jackass friend who just happens to be a car salesman: You mean the relatively new, lower mile SUV that gets good gas mileage and will keep your cost of ownership roughly the same as what you are driving now...nope!
Me: Keep looking.
Jackass friend: I'm on it!
Me: Your birthday is coming! When you turn 3 you have to go potty on the toilet!
Spice: But I'm two.
Me: Sugar, what is a word that starts with P?
Sugar: Um, penis starts with p, right?
(seriously! of all the words in her vocabulary, she picks that one?!?!)
Me: I've chewed my fingernails since I was little.
Friend: Have you ever thought of quitting?
Me: I did once. Before my dad died. But then when he died I started biting them again.
Friend: Uh, that was a long time ago.
(good point...)
Me: Just leaving the gym. I'll be home soon.
Josh: Okay, I'm just now heating up dinner. I have a surprise for you. You can't have dinner til you figure out what's different in the house.
(is the man trying to starve me?!)
(it turned out he replaced our dishwasher while I was at the gym.)
Me: Spice, who do you want to pray for tonight?
Spice: Amber!
Me: Spice, do you know where Jesus is?
Spice: In my tummy.
In an email:
Me: Happy Tuesday!
Chelsea: It's Wednesday, dork.
Any convos you wanna share?
Me: Good morning, honey!
Spice: Baby?
(Translation: Justin Bieber, stat.)
Me: Have you found my perfect rig yet?
Jackass friend who just happens to be a car salesman: You mean the relatively new, lower mile SUV that gets good gas mileage and will keep your cost of ownership roughly the same as what you are driving now...nope!
Me: Keep looking.
Jackass friend: I'm on it!
Me: Your birthday is coming! When you turn 3 you have to go potty on the toilet!
Spice: But I'm two.
Me: Sugar, what is a word that starts with P?
Sugar: Um, penis starts with p, right?
(seriously! of all the words in her vocabulary, she picks that one?!?!)
Me: I've chewed my fingernails since I was little.
Friend: Have you ever thought of quitting?
Me: I did once. Before my dad died. But then when he died I started biting them again.
Friend: Uh, that was a long time ago.
(good point...)
Me: Just leaving the gym. I'll be home soon.
Josh: Okay, I'm just now heating up dinner. I have a surprise for you. You can't have dinner til you figure out what's different in the house.
(is the man trying to starve me?!)
(it turned out he replaced our dishwasher while I was at the gym.)
Me: Spice, who do you want to pray for tonight?
Spice: Amber!
Me: Spice, do you know where Jesus is?
Spice: In my tummy.
In an email:
Me: Happy Tuesday!
Chelsea: It's Wednesday, dork.
Any convos you wanna share?
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Baby
When my girls went to visit their wonderful aunt down in Oregon back in February, my youngest child (age 2) came home with a fever.
Bieber Fever.
While my sister-in-law has a teenager and pre-teen in her home, they aren't Bieber fanatics. They simply showed my daughter one YouTube video of Justin Bieber's song, Baby.
That was enough to hook my little Spice.
Since February 28th I have had to play the video daily for my child. I don't mind. It's a harmless video. And, quite honestly, the song is catchy.
My little almost three year old goes around the house saying, "Baby, baby, Oohhh!"
It's the cutest, most ridiculous thing ever. I laugh every time. She's so stinkin' adorable. (gets that from me, of course)
Her birthday is coming up. I'm not one of those good mamas who plans rockin' parties for her kids. I leave that to my friend, Candee. My birthday party planning skillz blow.
But how can I go wrong planning a Bieber Fever party? How can I even consider having a Bieber Fever party for a three year old? Meh. I think it'd just be hilarious to freak out some family members.
I'm thinkin' my kid would be so excited to see Justin's face on a cake plate and napkin. So, I'm thinkin' I'm gonna do it.
We're going to a have a Justin Bieber themed birthday party for Miss Spice for her third birthday.
We're sure to make the family proud!
Bieber Fever.
While my sister-in-law has a teenager and pre-teen in her home, they aren't Bieber fanatics. They simply showed my daughter one YouTube video of Justin Bieber's song, Baby.
That was enough to hook my little Spice.
Since February 28th I have had to play the video daily for my child. I don't mind. It's a harmless video. And, quite honestly, the song is catchy.
My little almost three year old goes around the house saying, "Baby, baby, Oohhh!"
It's the cutest, most ridiculous thing ever. I laugh every time. She's so stinkin' adorable. (gets that from me, of course)
Her birthday is coming up. I'm not one of those good mamas who plans rockin' parties for her kids. I leave that to my friend, Candee. My birthday party planning skillz blow.
But how can I go wrong planning a Bieber Fever party? How can I even consider having a Bieber Fever party for a three year old? Meh. I think it'd just be hilarious to freak out some family members.
I'm thinkin' my kid would be so excited to see Justin's face on a cake plate and napkin. So, I'm thinkin' I'm gonna do it.
We're going to a have a Justin Bieber themed birthday party for Miss Spice for her third birthday.
We're sure to make the family proud!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
:: dream ::
something i often let myself daydream about is a vacation with my best girls. or, heck - alone even.
somewhere warm.
with cold beverages.
sand or dirt, i don't care. give me the beach or give me the mountains. at this point i have no preference.
i just want outta here.
i want to not have to cook a darn meal.
restaurants. ones i've never been to. where food is expensive and tastes out of this world.
where i can wear fun clothes.
a place secluded so music can be as loud as possible.
where there aren't diapers to change. or fights to break up. or sassy almost 6 year olds.
a place that has a masseuse would be fab; i've never had a massage before. oooh, and if they had a yoga class i'd be all over that.
a place with white fluffy towels. and a bed i don't have to make if i don't want to.
and i'd like to rent a car that has only two seats.
where the top rolls down.
this sounds a little like heaven.
and a whole lot far-fetched.
guess that's why it's called a dream.
somewhere warm.
with cold beverages.
sand or dirt, i don't care. give me the beach or give me the mountains. at this point i have no preference.
i just want outta here.
i want to not have to cook a darn meal.
restaurants. ones i've never been to. where food is expensive and tastes out of this world.
where i can wear fun clothes.
a place secluded so music can be as loud as possible.
where there aren't diapers to change. or fights to break up. or sassy almost 6 year olds.
a place that has a masseuse would be fab; i've never had a massage before. oooh, and if they had a yoga class i'd be all over that.
a place with white fluffy towels. and a bed i don't have to make if i don't want to.
and i'd like to rent a car that has only two seats.
where the top rolls down.
this sounds a little like heaven.
and a whole lot far-fetched.
guess that's why it's called a dream.
i'm not proud of it
but this is what i ate yesterday
breakfast:
grande iced hazelnut breve latte
2 raspberry filled powdered donuts
lunch:
1 raspberry filled powdered donut
snack right before i went to the gym:
1/2 a king sized Snickers
Vitamin Water
dinner:
McChicken and small fry from McD's.
Clearly I've turned into a health freak, huh?!
breakfast:
grande iced hazelnut breve latte
2 raspberry filled powdered donuts
lunch:
1 raspberry filled powdered donut
snack right before i went to the gym:
1/2 a king sized Snickers
Vitamin Water
dinner:
McChicken and small fry from McD's.
Clearly I've turned into a health freak, huh?!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
This Phase
I went to lunch with my friend, Lindsey, last Friday. When I picked her up we small talked for a bit, went to a bike shop to get a new tire for Josh's race and then headed to our destination.
Red Robin.
It's been years since Linds and I have spent time just the two of us. Without our kids. Without our husbands.
It was a treat.
We're a couple minutes into staring at our menus when she says, "so how are you really?"
Don't you love a friend who will say that to you?
I admitted that lately I've been struggling. As I'm sure has been apparent here on my blog. I told her what I'd told Josh just a few days before.
That I feel like I've been at a job for six years that I'm horrible at. A job that is so demanding. A job that I don't seem to do well at, at all. That if truth be told, I want to quit this job sometimes. I want to quit this job and find one I'm good at. Where I'm paid and appreciated. Awarded and needed. Even if it means giving up my comfy clothes and easy-going boss.
The fabulous friend that she is, she listened. And encouraged.
It's just a phase. I go through them. This one has definitely been longer than most but it'll pass. I just really want to start feeling like I'm doing a good job.
And I'm just not feelin' that right now.
Red Robin.
It's been years since Linds and I have spent time just the two of us. Without our kids. Without our husbands.
It was a treat.
We're a couple minutes into staring at our menus when she says, "so how are you really?"
Don't you love a friend who will say that to you?
I admitted that lately I've been struggling. As I'm sure has been apparent here on my blog. I told her what I'd told Josh just a few days before.
That I feel like I've been at a job for six years that I'm horrible at. A job that is so demanding. A job that I don't seem to do well at, at all. That if truth be told, I want to quit this job sometimes. I want to quit this job and find one I'm good at. Where I'm paid and appreciated. Awarded and needed. Even if it means giving up my comfy clothes and easy-going boss.
The fabulous friend that she is, she listened. And encouraged.
It's just a phase. I go through them. This one has definitely been longer than most but it'll pass. I just really want to start feeling like I'm doing a good job.
And I'm just not feelin' that right now.
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