God is soooo Good!!!

to my dear friends, Dan and Candee!!! They are going to have a baby!!!

So excited for you guys, I know how much you've been praying for this little one.

Love you guys!

I'm going to be gone

for a few days. Good thing I was blogger happy yesterday since I won't be posting til next week! :)

My grandpa passed away suddenly yesterday, so my sister and brother-in-law and Jaylee and I are driving to Colorado to spend time with family. If you could keep us in your prayers as we drive, I'd sooo appreciate it.

It'll be fun to see family I haven't seen in about 20 years and I'm looking forward to Jaylee meeting my grandma. Sad that sometimes a death in the family is the only way to get everyone together.

Take care, see you next week!

You're not as bad as you think you are

This may be longwinded. You've been warned.

Have you done some terrible things in your life? Things only you know? Have you done things you're even scared to confess to the Lord?

Me too.

This isn't an easy post to write. Not at all. But when I started my blog I wanted it to be somewhat of a ministry. Not sure it's been that but maybe it has its moments.

And maybe this will be one of its moments.

I've screwed up. I've sinned. I've hurt family and friends. And it seems to haunt me. I know I'm forgiven. 1 John 1:9 tells me so. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
However, there are days when the evil one just likes to pester me. Likes to just tell me over and over that because of the sin in my life there is no way I can be a Christian. That I can't be a good wife or a good mother. He tells me that I'll never be able to serve Jesus because of my past.

I've told you about my funks I get in. They almost always start when I let my devotions slide. Once Jesus isn't number one on my list of priorities, Satan knows I'm weak.

On Sunday, Pastor Tony preached 1 Peter 3:1-6. Wives submitting. Having a gentle and quiet spirit. The whole time I'm thinking, "I'm not gentle and I'm most definitely not quiet! How can I do this, Lord?!" And while I'm doubting myself, the evil one steps in again and tells me that this can't be me. I will never be this woman who is precious in the sight of God.

After church, I was a little down. Didn't say much to Josh. I don't like telling him that I get lost in my own thoughts during service. Embarrassed to admit I sometimes don't hear the entire sermon because I have conversations in my head. A lil embarrassed to be admitting it to you! But, this is on my heart so heavily to share, so there you have it. Sometimes during service I don't hear the entire sermon! Feels good to get that out there!

Anyway. Moving on.

We're in bed last night and before we shut out the lights, out of nowhere Josh mentions Paul. Says how he thinks it's just amazing that sometimes we feel bad about ourselves and the things we've done. That even though God doesn't measure sin, we as humans still measure sin (ours and others). We see a lie as a sin but a murder as a bigger sin. So, Josh says that no matter what we've done, we can still be effective for the Lord.

Because look at Paul. Paul killed Christians!

And then became one!

You may have done some terrible, awful things in your life. Maybe even today. But Jesus forgives. He died for all sin. Yours and mine. Don't let the things of your past haunt you and eat you alive.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." 2 Cor. 5:17

Your past has passed away.

You are new.

You are precious in the sight of God.

On the Defense

I was informed on Sunday that "we" need to get our home more organized. My first reaction?

Defensive.

I've noticed people (I) usually only get defensive when they've (I've) been approached about something they (I) already knew was an issue.

The husband has decided we're going to work from top to bottom in our house.

Literally.

We have three floors. An upstairs room that houses the computer, a bed or 3, toys, junk and my scrapbook "stuff" I put it in quotes because I'd like to call it something else at this point. This what it looks like right now. Can't believe I'm showing you.

I tell him I need something for my tools.

His head perks. I said the "T" word.

So, last night, we went and got this bad boy to take care of my organizational issues. Cheaper than anything I've seen in the scrapbook world for organizing.

We looked online before we went in the store to get it. It was a clearance item. Regularly $189.99 on clearance for $129.99. This was my husbands idea. I thought it was a little expensive but he wanted to do it. We get to the store, she rings up $68.97!!! Woo Hoo! It's the little things like this that make me realize He's smiling down and caring about the little things in my life.

I'll show you the area after it's all prettied up.

Unattended Children

This is what happens when you set your child in her chair while you are preparing dinner.

So, I take her picture then get after her.

Donkel Tubes and Gumps

For Valentine's Day, Josh bought Jaylee some balloons. She loved them. She'd go around the house saying "baahhloooon" and she was quite proud of herself for learning a new word.
A few days later when I was getting ready to take a shower (meaning, I was stripping,)Jaylee was in the room with me and points at "them" and says "baahhloooon."

Lovely.

I tell Amber about it. She gets a good laugh. But a few days later has a story of her own. Her 3 year old was in the room when she was changing and has a much more scientific term about Amber's balloons. She calls them Donkel Tubes.

Oh, it doesn't end there. A few days later I post this picture of Josh and me on my MySpace:

Amber and her daughter are lurking on my MySpace her little girl says that Josh has nice Gumps. Amber says "I thought those were Donkel Tubes."

Nope. Boys have Gumps.

I love it. I love the imagination a 3 year old has and I cannot wait for Jaylee to start making up retarded words like that! I'd like to say that I'm going to write them all down and have them to one day black mail her with but I'm sure I won't get around to writing them all.

So, tell me...what silly things have your kids said?

Slide Show of My Dad

I've mentioned in previous posts about my dad. But for anyone who may be new to my blog, let me share a bit. Not sure why, but I'm feeling a lil sentimental today.

My parents were never married, I lived with my mom and saw my dad on the occasional weekend. We moved closer to him when I was in High School, so I got to see more of him. He was a Graphic Arts Designer and owned his own business. After Josh and I got married I would go to his shop (my Grandpa's garage) and work with him. Basically I just watched and looked forward to going out to lunch! :) It was during this time that we actually got to know each other. In July of '99 Josh and I went on a vacation to Disneyland and then to San Diego for our first anniversary. Two nights before we were to come home my mom calls our hotel to inform us my dad had passed away. He was floating the river with some friends and their boat flipped. I've said before I don't know all that happened and don't care to. But I do know he wasn't wearing his life jacket and he didn't know how to swim.

I am so thankful to Jesus for that last year I got to spend with him.

A little about him:
He was funny. He was loyal. He had an infectious laugh. He was smart. He was athletic. He kinda spoke with a southern drawl even though he was from Washington State. He loved beer. He loved his family. He loved his friends. He loved softball. He was a die hard Huskies fan. He was always there to lend a helping hand.

To know him, was to love him.

Grey's Recap

*yaaawning*

I'm sorry to say that last night's episode was a pretty sorry one. Part of me felt like I was watching Days of Our Lives. (sorry Amber)

But here's my recap in a nutshell. A very small nutshell.

Meredith admits to Denny, yes the dead guy, she kinda wanted to just drown.
Izzie and Callie have it out about George. Callie wins with some hurtful words.
Christina "deals" with the situation by buying out the 99 cent store. (thought I was gonna die over that one, too funny)
Burke finds a pretty drunk Christina and tells her she needs to say goodbye to her friend. Her person.
Derek tells off Ellis.
Ellis dies.
After a million hours with no brain or heart activity Meredith comes back with Christina at her side.
Addison watches Derek and Meredith together and tells McSteamy Derek never felt that way about her, he tells her he did. (Think this was the best part of the whole show.)
She tells him to go without women for 60 days and maybe, just maybe they can work it out.
Izzie kinda sorta tells George she's sorry. He walks out.

For those of you who watched, yes this is a rough version of what happened, but like I said, I found last night's show to be pitiful. A quote from one of my friends this morning, (I'll leave you anonymous, Amber.)

Ya, I wasn't on the edge my seat for the entire hour, I didn't yell at my husband when he walked in front of the TV, and I most certainly didn't have 'moist eyes' when she admitted that she quit fighting. Yep, not at all.

My Favorite Day of the Week

It's not, really. But it's my favorite TV day of the week. Don't ask me why, you already know! It's Grey's Anatomy night!!! Woo hoo!

I like traditions. So, I'm going to start a new one. Fridays will now be the official "Grey's Recap" post. It'll just be quick, I promise...

I'm going to do this because I know there are some of who have terribly abusive husbands who tie you up and leave you in the closet at the 9 o'clock hour and you miss the best show ever created.

Fridays posts are for you!

Don't say I never did nothing for ya.

My Best Friend

My mom moved us around a lot. I like to refer to her as a Gypsy. Not sure she knows this...

Anyway, it wasn't easy keeping friends because of the frequent moves. But she promised me that once she put me in High School, we wouldn't move again. She kept that promise.

So, the summer before my freshman year we moved to Grandview. I re-met Lindsey. I say re-met because we'd lived in Grandview before so I knew Linds from middle school and at one time her brother dated my aunt, so basically we could've been family.

Lindsey and I became inseparable. You couldn't have one of us without the other. This girl has been with me through it all. From the first day of High School when I was crying because I was so scared, to the drama of first heartbreaks, to the day she stood beside me as my Maid of Honor and she was a comfort when I lost my dad. There was a long period of time when I had turned my back on my faith, my family and my friends. Lindsey prayed for me. She was there the day Jaylee was born. And I know she'll always be there when I need her.

She's the friend that always understood me in High School when no one else "got" me. I loved that I could always count on her to laugh with me and on occasion at me.

So, Linds...here's to our Cross Country days, our Pow Wows at Red Apple, "gymnastics" in the field across from your house, snowsuits in the middle of the road, bike riding, "No Cars, Please," endless times on the Zipper, crossing the street in our undergarments and getting locked out of the house, quick trips to Taco Bell on our 30 minute lunch, crawling into class, Ace Ventura, an endless amount of self-portraits, graffiti in Cabin 2, and opofcopourse yopou copan't foporgopet our "op" days, the first trip to Mexico, graduation, my wedding day, your wedding day, the day Ryan was born, the day Jaylee was born and then sweet Annie.

I love you Lindsey. Happy Birthday, Best Friend.
Love, Sarina

Grey's Anatomy

If you don't watch it, this post may be a bit boring for you.

So, yes, like many of you I have an addiction. An addiction to a nighttime soap opera. I've never been so ridiculously involved in a show in my whole life. I love it. Absolutely love it. Some days I feel a little bad that I watch the show because it can be trashy. I try to make myself feel better by saying, "It's just TV, they aren't real people." Yet that all goes to pot when an episode is over and I'm bawling like a baby because I feel like they are my friends and I'm an intern too...

...am I really admitting this?

Uh huh.



Well, my friend Amber is just as (if not more so) addicted as I am. Sorry Amber, I'm going to tell them about your Grey's junkiness...

She tells me about a website she found talking about last weeks episode, Meredith being rescued by my boyfriend, er, I mean Derek. You saw the episode, I don't have to tell you about it. Anyway, the writer of this site is predicting that everything that's happened since the bomb episodes have possibly been a dream or that she's been out this whole time.

Why does she say this? Well, let me just tell you.

On Thursday when they showed previews for this coming Thursday, the clothes Derek will be wearing are the same clothes he was wearing during the bomb episode when he went to Meredith's house at the end of the show, remember...when she said she couldn't remember the last time they kissed and he started to leave but turned around and said . On Friday they showed the bomb episodes and she put two and two together.

Anyway, I'm kinda freaking out about the whole thing. Looking forward to seeing if it's actually what's going to happen.

Man, I love this show.

Happy Valentines Day!

Sisters

I hate cheesiness, it makes me gag, but sometimes, you just have to be cheesy. So, my post today may seem like that. But I don't care.

I have two younger sisters. They are four and six years younger than I am. I have a different dad than they do. While growing up, my thought was that I could have done without them. They drove me crazy. They were closer in age and closer in heart. Most of the latter was my fault. I set myself apart from them as much as possible. Why? I dunno.

Looking back, I realize I wouldn't trade all our memories for the world. But if you'd asked me that when I was 8 or 9, heck, give me a piece of candy and you could take them both!

A lot of the time we shared a room. Erica and I shared a full sized bed and Megan, even though she was the youngest, had her own. If she'd shared a bed with one of us, we'd all end up wet in the morning, so Erica and I didn't complain that we shared. :) Our bedtime was around 8 but we'd be in there laughing and talking and getting into trouble until closer to 9. Our relationship was extreme, we had lots of fun when we were having fun and we were absolutely awful to each other when we wanted to be. I wish now I'd been more loving, patient, forgiving...

During summer vacation they'd go to Seattle and spend a few weeks with their dad. Ohhh how I longed for them to leave and then...when they were gone, how I longed for them to come home. I was lonely without them. Even though we tormented each other, it just wasn't the same when they were gone.

Some of my most missed memories are times I spent with them. I miss living in the same house with them or some days I miss living in the same fifth wheel with them. :)

Even though we're adults and often still drive each other crazy, they're two of my very best friends.

Erica, Megan...I love you and wouldn't trade you for the world.

Love, Sarah Diane

I'm slow

Well, I'm not but my computer is. Remember how just a couple weeks ago I got DSL? I was totally ecstatic. Well, then my cousin suggested I download a different virus protection thingy (can you see how computer literate I am) and after d/l'ing it, my computer was slower than dial up.

Yes, slower.

I relay to him the problem, he emails me back, instructing me on all this stuff I need to check for him. I check it, get back to him. He informs me that my 128 MB of RAM is sad. He also tells me that new computers have about 2 GB of RAM. That's equivalent to 2000 MB!!! Yeah, so I need to upgrade.

Ugh. Pathetic. When I got my computer 128 MB of RAM was good.

Guess 4 years can change everything.

I wasn't the cool kid

Nope. Not ever. In fact, in case you didn't already know, I was voted "Most Likely to be seen on Jerry Springer" my Senior year of high school. Uh huh. It was printed in the Year Book. At first I thought it was kinda funny. But you know, they always vote 1 guy and 1 girl for each category. I'm dreaming that it'll be a really hot guy from school (Chris Snyder, perhaps) but no. Ohhh no. It's a guy named John and I'm not going to tell you his last name, mostly because you can find just about anyone these days on the www and I'd die if you saw who I was paired with. Seriously, this guy's a devil worshipper and completely weird. In the four years I attended high school with him, I think I heard him utter five words.

Yearbook club wanted a picture of us. So, I decided on the garbage can. I got in it, he sat on top of it. And I wonder why I didn't have boyfriends in high school...

High School was a blast for me. It was a new start. I ended my 8th grade in Selah and then started 9th grade in a new town. A new town that wasn't so new. I had been there for K, 1/2 of 2nd, 3rd, 1/2 of 5th, and 2 months of 7th grade. So, I knew most of the kids but not real well. 9th grade meant letting myself be the person I wanted to be, no matter what anyone thought. Most of the time I just wanted to make people laugh. I didn't ever do this... but I would slam myself into lockers, talk into the garbage can and yell, "Mom! I'll see you after school!" Walk thru halls I wasn't supposed to and talk loudly, then run. I must have been pretty naughty to the subs because I remember various times my 11th and 12th grade years being sent out into the hall with my desk. One substitute, who always wore her hair in this really tight bun, came out and said, "are you ready to be a part of the class now?" I was enjoying my vacation in the hall, so I replied, "nope, not yet."

I love being me. I love embarrassing myself for others enjoyment. It's a thrill really. I am 26 years old and still have not outgrown it.

Is there an age limit you think? I'm hoping not. I mean come on, my mom is forty-*** and she still does things like this.

I've got another 20 years to live this up!

The Perfect Life

Yesterday I rode with Josh on his weekly Thursday route. And while riding, I was thinking about some of the women over at CafeMom and even some that I know outside of CafeMom, that just aren't happy with "their lot in life." I have sooo been there. So much so that it almost cost me my entire family. The grass is not greener on the other side and sadly, some of us have to learn it the hard way. These words just kinda spilled out onto a piece of paper and so...I thought I would share them. Maybe, just maybe it's what you need to hear.
~Sarah

Husband and child are down for the night.
She'd like to put her feet up and let out a sigh,
yet wanders to the kitchen sink, puts her hands in the soap water and lets her mind daydream.


**************************

What if we hadn't married and welcomed a child into our lives?
I could go out dancing every Friday night, instead of waking up every time the baby cries.
I could be out climbing the corporate ladder, instead of building living room forts that only to a four year old matter.
I wouldn't have to get up early to pack my husbands lunch, I'd be able to hit snooze and for an extra nine minutes, pull the covers up.
That outfit in the window would fit me perfectly because there wouldn't be stretch marks or an extra 15 pounds on me.
I could eat my meal before it's cold and not have to wipe any runny nose.
No grease stained shirts to put through the wash or itty bitty baby socks.
I could read a magazine cover to cover without stopping to change a soggy diaper.
Dinner wouldn't have to be on the table at 5:30, instead I could eat when it suited me.

***************************

No more dishes in the sink, snapping her from her daydream.
Tip toes down the hall,
peeking from room to room, careful to make no sound at all.
Sweet faces of her husband and child are a gentle reminder, why she chose not to climb that corporate ladder.
There would be no welcome home kiss to let her man know he'd been missed.
No pudgy baby arms to wrap around her neck so tight.
No man to snuggle up with on the coldest nights.
There would be no slobbery baby kisses or first birthday wishes.
There would be no pictures decorating the fridge,
or, "Mama, look what I did!"
No family picnics at the park, no husband that melts your heart.
No, "I love you Mama," or a husband's sly smile as he says, "do ya wanna?"

**************************

As she locks each door and turns off every light, she stops and smiles.
"I have the perfect life."

'Possums and Cadillacs

Are you wondering at the title? Are you curious? Wondering why the picture? I've decided I'm going to start labeling my posts and this will most definitely be labeled Random.

Here's a story that is probably so not funny to anyone else but myself (and possibly Amber) but remember Bowling night? I had borrowed my in-laws little pick up for the evening since Holly only gets about 10 mpg. So, we're cruising in the little pick up and I show Amber that my FIL has this really cool seatbelt cover that's all fuzzy. She calls it a kitty and then out of nowhere, I tell her it's a 'possum.

We died. Seriously, tears in the eyes, rolling down our face laughter. It's been weeks and we're still laughing about it.

Well, the little pick up, now dubbed The 'Possum, is now in our possession. It's on loan until my in-laws need it again. Great except that it's a two seater.

There are three of us.

So, my husband gets this brilliant idea. We have 1972 Cadillac in our pasture. It's been there a few years. It has a bench seat in it.

It's leather.

Oh yeah, that's right The 'Possum now has a leather bench seat in it. Amber tried to start a new name for it the 'Possumillac, I relay it to Josh:

Him: Don't you think people will think we're weird if we call it the possumillac?
Me: You don't think they already do just calling it The 'Possum?
Him: Good point.

So, yesterday when I go out to the grocery store Jaylee and I are driving her around. I'm at a stop sign. Waiting for a pedestrian but he waves me to go first.

I take off and we go flying backward.

I can't see out the windshield.

I can't reach the clutch.

Jaylee's feet are in the way of the stick.

I'm in the middle of the road...

and almost peeing my pants laughing so hard.

Finally I get it together and we continue on as if nothing happened. Whew. Guess the seat wasn't bolted down...

What doesn't kill you...makes you pee just a little. (PJAL)

Plans for the Day

This is how I wanted my morning to go:

Wake up at 6
Have devotions
Make Joshua breakfast
Get Jaylee up
Change her diaper
See Josh off to work
Do breakfast dishes
Play with Jaylee
Lay Jaylee down for morning nap
Clean like a mad woman all around my house

This is how my morning has gone:

Woke up at 7
Made Josh a bagel, it got stuck in the toaster and burned, while trying to dig it out the eggs burned, too.
Josh got Jaylee up
He changed her diaper
Saw him off to work
Got on the computer
Played with Jaylee
Talked on the phone
Laid Jaylee down for a nap
Got back on the computer

Not dressed yet. Haven't brushed my teeth. I did put on deodorant but was then reminded I haven't shaved in awhile. Seriously. I've got to do something about this.

You're probably all grossed out and will never come back again.

Hmmm...maybe I shoulda told ya all this sooner! ;)

Check it out!

G'mornin!

Last week my sister sent me a link to a pretty fun site. So, I decided to join and play along. Check it out, see what ya think.

Here's my personal profile. I warned them(CafeMom viewers) that I blogged here and may duplicate posts. Just so's ya know, I might do that.

Here's Erica's.

Apology

So, there was this blog that I found a while back and I loved it. Read some of her archives and a lot of the things she talked about really spoke to me. Then she up and quit blogging for like a month! I'd check back every day, then every couple days, then slowly I stopped.

It was sad. Then, one day I decided to check again and she'd blogged.

Happy Days were here again!

I want to apologize to those of you who are faithful to stop by and read and sometimes comment. I've not been faithful at blogging these last few weeks. I mentioned before I've been in sort of a funk.

Not that I'm out of my funk completely and I'll be blogger happy but I don't want to desert you.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be funny or smart (okay, that one's pushin' it) or I feel I have to have just the right thing to say. So, I stress. I clam up. I get blogger block. Yeah, totally made that one up by myself. I AM SMART!!! :)

I think I'm just not going to worry so much. I'll just write whatever.

Lucky you, huh?

So, don't give up on me. I'm still around.