My Apologies

Sorry for my sour post.

I've had the day to simmer down a bit. The morning we had just wasn't good. I had a very poor attitude from the get-go and I just let it consume me.

There was so much anger inside me. I was just really really peeved. Trying to figure it out I realized that when I'm the most mad, it's usually myself I'm mad at. And that was totally it today.

I was having a major heart issue.

Contentment.

I have a nice house. She's older but she's nice. Or, at least getting that way, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears from my Josh and me. Literally. However, even though we have new sheetrock in most rooms and an updated kitchen and bathroom, we don't have any storage on the main level of our home. We have 3 levels but only one is really user-friendly, we have an unfinished basement and a large room upstairs but it's not insulated, so it's either really cold or really hot up there. So...I have plenty of storage up or down, just not where I'd like it to be.

You can see in my profile that I hate clutter but for some reason it adores me. Clings to me like a lost puppy. I have a hard time throwing away magazines or receipts or anything that I might need someday. I'm really bad at not putting things where they belong right away. I set it somewhere and then I set a few other things with it and sure enough a few somethings have turned into lots of somethings and I have a mess. A cluttery mess.

Arrrggh!!

I have a lot of money invested in scrapbook supplies. But I don't really have a place for my supplies where I can access them easily. This morning in the midst of my bad mood I had decided to throw everything out. (Stop rolling your eyes, Treena) I had decided all or nothing. If I couldn't use it, why have it?

Well...after a few minutes of deep breaths and some silent prayers, I got to work.

My scrapbook stuff will be easily accessible. My linen closet now has linens in it instead of a jumbled mess of scrapbook supplies. I had one wall in my living room painted cocoa and decided it was just too dark, so I whipped out some paint and painted it the same color as the rest of the room. Man, that really helped my mood. I didn't buy anything. I worked with what I had all day and the Lord provided me patience, a good baby, a cooperative toddler and a friend to stop by to talk to.

So, my bad day got much better. Thank you for your prayers.

And I just realized my foot's asleep. Hate that.

Talk to ya tomorrow.

Bad Mood

I'm not having the greatest of days. Anything spewing from my fingertips wouldn't be pretty, so I'm going to end 'er here.

My Cool Car Got a lil Cooler

Really wishing I had a digital camera. Really am.

I drive an '88 Honda Accord.

Don't knock it, she's paid for.

Anywho...

We bought her from some hole in the wall place and the guy told us he hadn't had a chance to clean the car out. No biggie because the car was immaculate. Upon first inspection anyway.

From the looks of her she'd never known children to ride in her. There weren't french fries stuffed between the seats or fishy crackers smashed on the floor. No dog hair all over the place. Yep, she was a mighty clean car.

As we drove off the lot, proudly sporting a car with 188,000 miles on her, I happened to look in the ashtray. Where I was greeted by something other than cigarettes. These were a roll-your-own kinda cigarette of the illegal type.

Thus Amber dubbed her-Mary Jane.

So, I've been driving MJ now for a few months. Haven't ever had a flat tire, so I've not needed to check the spare tire area.

My husband, the good man that he is, decided to check the spare tire before we went to Montana. He's just like that. Always prepared.

Totally digressing.

He comes in and says he knows why the people dumped their car so quickly and proceeds to hand me a cr@ck pipe.

Uh huh. We have the coolest car, ever. Kinda glad we don't live in the same town we bought 'er in because I'm pretty sure we'd be getting jumped for money at any time.

So, she's no longer MJ. She's now our little Cr@ck Pipe. The things my girls are learning these days...

What a Girl Wants

I've been told by quite a few moms that if their last baby had been their first, there would have been no others. I never understood that.

Til now.

It's no secret, Alison's not the easiest baby. And Jaylee really was.

Jaylee started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. The first time she did it I woke in a panic just sure she'd died in the night. After I realized she was breathing, I thought it was just a fluke and that she'd never do it again. But she did. Forever.

I feel bad comparing my girls. I realize they aren't the same. It's just that when you're REALLY tired you wish your youngest was like your oldest!!! All a girl wants is to sleep.

I used to hear about these "crazy" people who let their children sleep with them. And I couldn't imagine it. Why would anyone want to do that?

Yeah, um, so they could sleep.

I figured it out. I figured out what gets Ali to sleep all night without fussing or crying.

Yup, those "crazy" people are now my friends.

I'm not a fan of this whole "co-sleeping" deal. Not at all. But I really liked sleeping from 11-6 last night. I really did. It wasn't my idea to put her in there. It was the husband's. I obeyed him (because I'm an uh-mazing wife like that.)

Lo and behold that's all the girl wanted. Just to be next to her mama and daddy.

I'm no longer a judger of the co-sleeping deal. I see it in a whole new light now.

Alison had her one month check up today. They go through all these questions with me, making sure that I'm not wanting to shake her (I made sure I said the right answer on that one) then asking if we have fire alarms or guns. No. Yes. But of course I tell them the answers backwards.

She then says, "do you have sharp objects around her?" To which I answered...

"No, we only let her play with scissors on Fridays."

She looks at me over her glasses. Pauses. Then laughs and realizes I'm just joking.

They really have to ask people these questions.

************************************

Tonight we went to my in-laws to do some work. Jaylee announces she needs to use the restroom. Since I was the busy one at the moment, Josh took her to the bathroom. I'm sweeping the entryway when Josh and Jaylee come out. He's laughing pretty hard and she says, "Mama, I saw the skidmark." To which I answered...

I had no answer. What do you say to that?! Husband says, "well, she asked what they were."

He's on a roll these days with his words of wisdom.

A great weekend, a little pity party, and some wise words from the husband.

We had such a great weekend with my sister and her family. The trip out there was excellent. Jaylee is such a great traveler, we knew she'd be no problem. Alison on the other hand was going to be our wild card. But she did great! She only cried once for a couple of minutes and then was back to sleep.

We got there pretty late but visited for a bit before heading off to bed. Short lived because Jaylee decided to throw up. EW. I think I gave her too much fruit on the way. We get it cleaned up, get back in bad and then she vomits again-in my hair! EW!!! Poor her. Poor me.

The next morning I get to see my two nephews and my niece and they are just too cute. Man how I wished I had a digital camera (that worked) so I could show you these children! My sister has a 2 year old, 2 year old and 9 month old. Yep, you read correctly two, 2 year olds. And no, they aren't twins. Silly sister! :) It was great having five kids three and under. I was really amazed at how well they got along. Jaylee wasn't the biggest fan of them for a bit, they wanted to love on her so much but she wasn't having it. "I can't like her, Mom." were her words when Ashley was trying to hug her.

It was Ashley's second birthday on Saturday, so we were excited to celebrate with them. And I think Jaylee got a few ideas of things she'd like for her birthday that's coming in two weeks.

We hung around the house because the weather wasn't the greatest. At about 10:50 Montana time, which would be 9:50 our time, I got online to buy the New Kids tickets. I had to wait 10 minutes. I sat there, refreshing the page over and over. I felt a little like the lady from the Mervyn's commercial years ago, that stood outside the door saying, "open, open, open." But it paid off. I have two tickets for row 33. ROW 33!!! We (Amber and I) have a clear view of the stage! Can't wait. Just.cannot.wait.

Josh went on a bike ride for a few hours to give Erica and me time to catch up. I really enjoyed this. It's not really something we've ever done. After having her in my life for 24 years, I think I've only really liked her for 1 of those. Okay, I've liked her...we just haven't ever really gotten along until the last year or so. Really thankful for our friendship.

After the party and all kids had gone to bed, the four of us stayed up to chat for a few hours. It was a really fun time. I loved getting to know my brother-in-law in a new way. I have a new love and respect for him.

Sadly, we had to leave yesterday. We left a little early so we could just take our time on the way home. Josh wanted to take the "scenic route" home and the last time we took the "scenic route" it added about 14 hours to our trip. No stinkin' joke. So, I was a little nervous but then realized I had nothing pressing at home, so what really would it matter if we got home, say next week... :)

The trip was beautiful. We were along a river (not sure of the name) and the rapids were pretty amazing. Scary amazing. Then, we see some rafters. This always freaks me out a bit. I know, I know...it's been almost nine years since my dad drown, but I still have some issues. We stopped to watch the rafters for a while and I just started to have this ridiculous pity party. How is it possible that these people can float these rapids and be just fine and my dad, floating a small river... Well, anyway, I needed to put on my big girl panties, so I did. I'm getting over it. No, really, I am.

The scenic route only added about 90 minutes to our trip. We passed through an extremely small town, so small that seriously if you blink, you'll miss it. The town was called Peck. Husband in all his wisdom, asks...

"So, if you're from a town called Peck, does that make you a Pecker?"

Oh my word, I'm still in shock.

I have tickets. Tickets. To see New Kids on the Block!!!

Oh...and it's snowing in Butte. I'm never coming back here.

Later taters.

Lifelong Road Trip

We leave in a few hours for Montana. While I'm ecstatic to see my sister, it's supposed to snow there. Seriously? It's June for crying out loud! Bugger.

I'm so excited for a road trip. There's really nothing I love more than getting in a rig and just going. Really doesn't matter where I'm headed, I just love to go. Josh feels the same way and I believe Jaylee inherited the love for just going from us.

Josh's love for being on the road was so intense that a few years back he quit a job that everyone deemed safe and smart. He had insurance. He worked 8-5. It was only a half mile from home. We always knew what the paycheck would be.

But he didn't love it. He liked it well enough. But the passion wasn't there. So, he went OTR (over the road) and started driving a semi-truck carrying 105,000 lbs. He didn't know from one day to the next where he was headed. He was gone five days a week. He had no insurance. Often times he was several hundred miles from home. Most times we had no clue what his paycheck would be.

He loved it. Craved it.

Still does.

This was a job where I could have gone with him. We could have been together 24/7. But we weren't in a place in our marriage where I wanted to be with him that often. So, I stuck around here. He was hundreds of miles away but our lives were worlds apart.

The last few months of my pregnancy with Jaylee I road with him. California, Montana, Oregon, Washington, Nevada. It was the best. We loved being together all day, everyday. It was definitely a growing time in our marriage.

But we had quite a few people tell us we couldn't raise a baby on the road. Unfortunately, we listened to them. And Josh went back to that safe job down the road. Don't get me wrong, it's a great job and Josh was thankful to go back, but a light in his eyes faded. The fire in his heart burned out.

He's been working longer hours lately and we really miss spending time together. We've been talking about driving truck again. The lady Josh used to drive for made it very clear that whenever he wanted to come back, all he had to do was call and there'd be a truck for him.

It seems unconventional to raise two girls in a truck. No toilet. No sink. No shower. I'd be making breakfast, lunch and dinner on a camp stove. It would be a little inconvenient at times, I'm sure. But to be together, as a family, all day long...oh man. We've been going over it and the drawbacks that we have are mainly what people would think of us. After 10 years we're slowly learning we have to do what's best for us but it's hard when we're both people pleasers.

Another thing we think about is that the girls wouldn't have a yard to play in besides rest areas here and there. I'm sure there are weeks the girls and I would stay home, they'd get playtime in then and on weekends when we were home. But is playing outside more important than spending time with their daddy everyday? learning from him? talking to him? I just don't think so.

Do I have a point to this post? Not so much. But I'd like to hear what your thoughts are. If you had the chance to spend as much time with your dad/mom as you wanted or have the "traditional" home life, what would you choose?

Anyway...I'm looking forward to the 1000 miles we'll travel this weekend. Hours to talk or sit in silence. New ground to look at. People to meet. Questions asked by Jaylee. Just some good time for our little family.

Why I turned out this way

Some days you may wonder, "why is she so weird?" "didn't her parents love her?" "where'd she get her hottness?" "how is she so witty?"

This, my Frams (friends, family) is why I am, the way I am.

My birthday card from my mother...




She's a hoot, that mother of mine.

Doesn't get any more random

This post is going to be full of bits and pieces of the last 24 hours or so.

Most recent, as in, 10-minutes-ago-recent...I learned to make sure that after leaving the ATM machine, make sure your car door is shut, because if you don't and you leave said ATM machine your car door just may fly open and cause the oncoming driver to stare at you as if you've lost your marbles.

Little does said oncoming driver know, I have a newborn who doesn't sleep, therefore, I've no marbles to lose.

I get to see my sister tomorrow. The sister who up and left and moved to Montana. Who does that?! I haven't seen her or her three babies in over a year. One of those babies I've actually never met, so I'm pretty stoked. It's an 8 hour drive or so, could be interesting with Alison. Heaven help us...

The husband threw a par-tay for me yesterday. I wanted to (but decided not to) ask people to just buy me gas cards. "Please don't go to the trouble to come to my house where I'll have to clean and make food and clean up, please just send gas cards as I can hardly afford to drive to Starbucks." But seeing as how I've turned 28 and I'm way wiser than I was at 27, I decided to clean my house, make some food and clean up after people in hopes that they telepathically got the memo about gas cards.

They didn't.

But I still got money and excellent gifts that I sooo don't deserve seing as how I wasn't in the mood to have a par-tay.

My neighbor children make me insane. There are 6 of them. The youngest 2 love my husband and the fact that he built an amazing white trash swingset. They see cars pulling up and ask what everyone was coming for. Josh tells them it's my birthday. A little while later they show up bearing gifts. They really make it hard for me to not love them. My neighbors are Mormon. The reason I tell you this is because on one of the two cards they gave to me, it said this, "Congraduation, you are a member of the church. Love, Justin" Thankfully the children didn't stick around for the party because everyone got a huge laugh out of the card. It was pretty funny.

Husband went to the store last night to grab some stuff to drink. He came home with two 2-liters. We realized we didn't have any milk and that he'd not gotten regular pepsi, so I had to go back to the store. I go to grab the 2 liter and see the sign that says, "buy 3, get 3 free." They probably mean in one transaction, huh?
Bugger.

New Kids on the Block will be in Tacoma in November. I'm so going. I didn't get to go 20 years ago when I was in love with them. So, I am soooo there this time. Yes, leaving my children again. I'm really proving to be an excellent mother these days. I love Jordan forever!


Okay, I gotsta go for now. I'm sure I'll have more blogging fodder as the day wears on.

The Big 2-8

Yesterday was my birthday.

I usually absolutely love, luh-huv my birthday.

Not so much this year. And I don't know why. It wasn't a particularly good day. I got to go shopping for an outfit, so that part was definitely nice (thank you, husband) but it was raining and my hair was uber-frizzy and my almost three year old was a little O2C2 (out of control child) and my 1 month old just cries. Cries for no reason. Cries all the blasted time.

So, I kinda wasn't in the mood to be having a birthday. I kinda wasn't in the mood to be a mom.

(Am I really admitting this??)

My husband came home from work. Changed his clothes, he looked mighty nice. Then Amber shows up.

She usually calls.

She hadn't called.

So I knew husband and Amber were in cahoots about something.

She was there to watch my children while Josh and I went out. And when I find this out, I'm a little torn.

I have a whiny, snot-nosed, almost three year old. And a brand-spankin' new baby. Should I leave? Can I leave?

Heck yes, I can!

We left. We enjoyed dinner together. And the two and a half hours we were gone were just enough to refresh me and make me feel like I could be a mommy again.

And amazingly, there was no guilt. I thought there would be. But there wasn't. I knew they were with Amber and that she'd only let Jaylee feed Alison a little pizza while we were away.

I love the rain

but it's making my hair frizzy today. Or, frizzier I guess I should say.

And I don't like frizzy hair.

Tomato Paste

Ever just buy a random can of stuff because you were going to use it. A recipe called for it. Then you forgot you bought it. Found yet another recipe calling for it. So, ya bought it again.

About 7 times, maybe?

Well, such is the case for me and Mr. Tomato Paste.

What to do with it? C'mon. Tell me. I have no idea. And I have some random diced tomatoes to go with.

Recipes, people. Recipes. Need 'em.

Thanks so much.

Just Some Pics

Got some film developed today (yes, I still do film) while we were up in Yakima.

Mother's Day-My sister, Megan and her kids, Brenna-3 and Cohen-2

Mother's Day-Meg and Me

And still on Mother's Day-My mother and me.


And a couple of Alison.

A mix of stuff.

I can flush and shower now.

I know, I said it before. This time it's for reals. Do you remember when "for reals" was cool to say?

Am I showing my age here? Anyway. I never said "for reals" because really, it's just dumb.

What does that have to do with anything?

Absolutely nothing.

Have I mentioned that I'm a new Facebook junkie? Yeah, I am. Oh, don't you worry, I still love me some MySpace. But MySpace doesn't have the Oregon Trail. And I really love me some Oregon Trail. I feel like I'm in 5th grade all over again, staring at a green and black screen. Except this time the screen isn't green and black.

Today I was very pleasantly surprised to find that my youth pastor from when I was in high school, is on Facebook! Loved that guy. He and his wife were the greatest.

Jaylee is so ill. Her eyes were glued shut this morning. She has 103 temp. Her nose is double-barrel running. She hasn't eaten since yesterday morning.

It's sad to watch. I hate seeing her like this.

Alison is doing well. She smiled at me so big yesterday and didn't pass gas right after, so I think it was the real deal this time.

Josh is going to start road biking with friends on Saturday mornings again, tomorrow will be his first time out in quite some time. I'm excited for him. He stopped riding after we got married. I didn't encourage him to keep it up, in fact, I discouraged it. I wanted him home with me at all times. What a mistake I made. Looking back, if I could do it over-I'd have joined him. Shared with him something that he enjoys. But, there's no going back. All I can do now is cheer him on and tell him that the 60 and 70 something year olds won't waste him tomorrow. (Even though they very likely will...)

With almost 10 years of marital wisdom under my belt (rolling my eyes here) if you're newly married, about to get married, dating, or you've been married 50 years...encourage your spouse/spouse-to-be in that thing they love to do. And if possible, join in. Even if it isn't something you enjoy.

My husband loves to go to car races. I figured it was something he'd just wanna do with "the boys" but he informed me he thinks it's cool to take his wife. It makes him feel good when I go with him.

Bike riding isn't something I can do right now, until Alison is old enough to be left with Grandma, but I'm thinking I may take up riding on Saturday mornings with my husband when I'm able.

Anyway, I just think it might strengthen our relationship to do things together, even if it's not something I lurv.

Looking forward to him gettin' all dressed up in his spandex tomorrow.

Spoke too soon

Pipe's leaking.

Do I call the husband and ruin his day? Naaa, he'll be home soon enough.

I have water!

Life is good again. I flushed the toilet and took a shower this morning! Yeah!

So thankful my husband was able to fix it and that we didn't have to call a plumber.

On to other news.

Something that makes me laugh these days...you know how when babies are real little and they have those noisy blow-outs?

It cracks Jaylee up and she yells really loud, "Did you hear that? That was Ali!" And she laughs like crazy.

Every time.

It's pretty funny.

That's all I have for today. Man, I'm kinda boring.

Still No Laughing

but life doesn't suck quite as badly.

Most of my laundry is done and my dishes as well. Thanks to Amber and her house.

A clean house is a happier Sarah.

Poop pipe is still leaking, hoping tonight is the night she gets fixed.

There's the update. I know everything could be worse than it is, so I'm trying to put on my BGP's (big girl panties, remember?)

Happy Wednesday!

I'll be able to laugh about it later

Right?

'Cause right now, yeah, there's no laughter.

There's a lot of sweat. A lot of sore muscles. Did you know you could pull something in your butt?! There's a lot of dirt. A LOT OF DIRT in my house. There's a lot of dirty clothes. There's a lot of water in my basement. There's a lot of stuff that's broken. There are a lot of children next door.

Lots of lots.

Wanna hear how the Culver Memorial Weekend went?

Oh good, 'cause I really wanna vent, er...share.

So. Let me just tell you I understand that stuff happens. I really do. But how many "stuffs" can happen in a single weekend for dirt's sake!?

We rented a trencher for our sprinkler system. It's older than dirt. So old that my husband had to repair it about every 18 inches or so. The tire would fall off or maybe the chain. It was kind of like a surprise every foot and a half, just never knew what piece of crap was gonna fall off next!

I already told ya he hit the phone line and then the poop pipe. Considered leaving the poop pipe open, free fertilizer, but we changed our minds on that one. Josh fixed it. Or so we thought. He fixed one hole that it had and then another busted. Of course it did!

Around 7 or so on Sunday, I'm a little cranky, tired of sprinklers and ask the husband if we can start project number 2 without project number 1 being complete. He's a little tired of sprinklers too and agrees. So, we start putting up a cedar fence. It's going pretty well until I see a big fatty Rottweiler in my pasture. I don't own a Rottweiler and neither do my neighbors. I'm not a fan of big dogs I don't know. He didn't listen when I politely asked him to leave my yard.

So, I shot him.

I really did.

Don't worry, he didn't die. It was just a lil pellet gun and it nicked his lil rear and got him to leave my yard.

That'll teach him.

Am I done yet? Oh no, there's plenty more.

For some reason, all weekend long Jaylee decided to poop her pants. Seriously. All weekend. And I decided to put a pair of her chonies in the toilet to rinse yesterday afternoon. She later flushes them down the toilet.

I'll come back to that later...I just want you to know.

So, things seem pretty poor on Sunday until Neighbor from Across the Street comes over. He's watching Josh for about an hour with the poop pipe and he's chattin' up a storm. He knows we're going to be building a fence, so the blessed man offers us his tractor and post hole digger attachment.

Thank You, Lord!

We worked on more fence today. We're still fertilizing the yard, as Josh has yet to fix the poop pipe. Our neighbors asked us over for a BBQ and even though we wanted to continue the fence work, we took a break to go over there.

When we come home I decided to tackle my kitchen. For some reason over the weekend the maid never showed up. My kitchen floor and counters were not visible. The floor was caked in mud and dirt. The counters had dishes and clothes and dirt. Amazing I tell you.

I'm doing dishes, getting all proud of me for slaving away, when I hear this gush of water in my basement.

I run outside and yell for Josh. We go downstairs and begin moving boxes and books and ficus trees. I look at him. He looks at me.

"Well, now we know where Jaylee's underwear are."

She clogged the poop pipe. So maybe it wasn't leaking outside as bad but now it was in my basement.

And I really don't need to fertilize my basement.

Josh, usually not one to look on the bright side, says, "guess it's a good thing I didn't fix that pipe yesterday, I woulda had to dig it all back up again."

It's now almost eight o'clock on Monday evening. Josh has to go back to work in the morning and I've been informed not to use the sink, bathtub, or toilet until he's fixed the poop pipe. This could make for an interesting night and day tomorrow.

Seriously, never a dull moment around these parts.

The only cool part of the whole weekend was shooting that dog.

*Updated to add*
Josh went fishing through the poop pipe to find the blasted undergarments and found that our poop pipe has collapsed underground. So, my job tomorrow is to dig about 10feet long and 2 feet wide to expose the pipe so when Josh gets home he can fix it. Man, I can't wait for Tuesday!

If only things went smoothly

But they don't.

At least not when you're a Culver. Or these Culvers.

Remember this?

Well, we decided to start another project. And this time we actually called Locate so we wouldn't hit any more pipes we shouldn't.

We've lived here eight and a half years. And in that time I cannot tell you how many times I've drug hoses all over our blasted yard to water it. So, we decided we'd put in underground sprinklers.

Because we're brilliant like that.

Gas company comes and marks their line, phone company does the same...and so on.

Silly phone company.

They didn't put their line in the right spot. So, that was the first thing we hit.

Luckily my husband is amazing and can fix just 'bout anything. So, we've got the phone line taken care of (at least for the moment).

Then, we're away from all the lines (supposedly) and the husband turns on the trencher and goes to town.

Hmm...was that the septic line we just hit?

Indeed.

Husband is off to find parts to fix that one now. Because a holiday weekend would just blow to have to call someone to come fix it.

And I really don't wanna spend our Emergency fund on a poop pipe.

To Pacify or not to Pacify

I've never been a fan of pacifiers or binkies or nuks or mams or whatever you wanna call 'em.

My husband either.

We didn't buy one for Jaylee and at 5 weeks old, she found her thumb. We were thankful. No pacifiers to buy or fall out in the night. It seemed perfect. Now, we're working on our almost 3 year old to only suck her thumb at nighttime and not all throughout the day.

The last few nights with Alison weren't so good. She thought midnight was a good time to be up and if she wasn't being held, then it was a good time to scream. I asked Josh if we could puhlease get a pacifier.

Nope.

Grrrr.

Well a couple nights of me not sleeping later...I got our baby a pacifier. She loves it. I love it.

For now.

At least I can take it away. A thumb is a wee bit harder to dispose of. At least without having child protective services at my door within the hour.

Here's a picture of Jaylee with Alison. Alison was born with extremely long fingernails and decided to mark up her face immediately. Luckily her wounds have healed.

She kinda looks like a gremlin in this picture but I like it of Jaylee.

She's Here!

Here's a quick update!

2 days before delivery


And on my due date, here SHE came!

Alison Christie was 8 lbs 5 oz, 22" long with a 14 1/2" head! Only 5 hours of hard labor, it was really amazing. My husband was amazing.

Here are a few pics.






Gotta love the last picture showing how in love Jaylee is with her little sister. All in all, she's been pretty great with her.

Okie dokie, that's all for now!

Slacker Mama

For those of you about to receive a piece of mail from me, let it be noted what you'll be receiving was purchased on time, I'm just a slacker and didn't get them out on time.

~Sarah

Vanilla. No, Chocolate. Yeah, Chocolate.

Yesterday my husband came home early from work since he's been putting in a great deal of overtime.

It was sooo nice to have him here at 3 instead of 5.

The sun was out. It was warm. We were loving it. We're outside working. Me, raking leaves out of my pretty flower areas, Josh, ever-working on our Suburban (sigh..) and Jaylee...

Oh...where is that kid?

We realized she was gone. 'Cause we're observant parents like that.

We call and call and at the last "Jaaayleeee" I think my voice got a lil shaky, a lil panicky. We share a driveway with two other homes. The family directly across from us has six children, 5 of them being boys (Jaylee's favorite kind) and they also have a trampoline (that Jaylee's in awe of). We find her standing over in their yard, staring at 3 of the 6 children jumping on the trampoline.

Josh calls a little louder and she starts on back to our house, reluctantly. And then the tears start.

Her life is over.

When she gets up to us, tears and snot are dripping down her face. She's on the verge of hysterics.

"What's your deal?" I ask, ever so sympathetically.

"M-m-myyy k-k-keeeey!!!!"

She had pulled a key out of our old lawnmower and apparently left it at the neighbor's house.

The three of us head on back there.

As Josh and I get there, the oldest yells to one of his younger siblings, "hurry, shut it off."

And so, we don't get to listen to AC/DC.

Such a bummer.

Jaylee finds her key. The boys politely say hi.

And then Justin, one of my favorites, says, "we didn't know you were having another baby."

"Yep, yep I am." I tell him, proudly.

"What kind's it gonna be?"

Friday

is the big day. It was going to be yesterday. Really. It was.

But I kept stalling.

How ridiculous is this love affair I have with my computer?!

Anyway, I am giving myself the week. Mainly because I have to pay bills on Friday and it's easier to do that online and since I don't know much about computers and all that junk, I'm unaware if it's safe to pay my bills on a public computer.

Anyone know?

I also am putting in my last Pampered Chef order. I'm kinda sad. Kinda not. I'm sure if I really wanted to learn how to send orders in through the mail I could. And I may even be able to twist someone's arm into letting my download the whole spiel onto their computer. But for now, thinking it's just best to call this my last "party" of sorts and be done with that chapter in my life.

Did I tell you we got a newer Suburban? I can't remember. It was a couple of months ago and for the first time it wasn't my idea to go car shopping! :) We didn't need it. But we got it. She's nice. I love her. But she's a gas hog and she's also cost us some money we weren't expecting. Blah! I've been a little bitter about it, if you couldn't already tell (and if I haven't already complained about it to some of you over the phone).

On Sunday, Josh goes to roll down the window.

Nice try.

She doesn't want to roll down. Not even a smidge.

I was on the verge of using some foul language and then remembered it was Sunday. Like it's okay to use foul language Mon-Sat....lol

Anyway, yesterday as I pulled up to the espresso stand I remembered I was going to look a dork getting out of my vehicle because of the dumb, stupid, retarded window. I decided to chuck my attitude out the window (the passenger one, since mine wouldn't roll down) and asked the Lord to just fix it, please!

It didn't get fixed. At least not right at that moment.

This morning Josh and I were going to meet for coffee (yes, coffee two days in a row....) and he decides to quickly pull some stuff apart by the window. He wiggles some stuff around, puts 'er back together and waa-laa.

She rolls down!

Thank You, Lord, for answering my prayer!!!

I know it seems trivial but I am just so thankful. Thankful to Jesus for hearing and answering such a simple request, thankful that my husband is amazing when it comes to tearing stuff apart and knowing how to put stuff back together, thankful we don't have to fork out money to get 'er fixed.

Live Like No One Else

We live on one income.

We don't have anything real fancy. We don't go on super duper exciting vacations. We don't have car payments. I don't have lots of diamonds or a closet full of designer clothes. Josh doesn't have expensive hobbies.

Yet, we are in debt. Stupid stuff mainly. Couldn't really look around my house and say, "yep, bought that on the credit card." because mostly we racked up our credit card with junk.

We don't have a ton (thinking of you, Melis, as I say "a toooon!") of debt. One credit card and a home equity loan. And of course our mortgage.

Even though it's not much, it still bugs us. We still want out from underneath it.

When I went in to talk to Greg, the guy at the bank, about refinancing our house for a 15 yr. loan he handed me Dave Ramsey's book. I knew he had been teaching a class here in town, we just weren't able to go. I was pretty excited to be handed the book.

Immediately I was on a kick to start this so-called budget thing that Josh and I, in almost 10 years of marriage, have never implemented. However, my husband wasn't as excited. After almost two weeks of me being this crazy, excited, we're-so-going-to-kick-debts-butt, girl...I realized my husband was wanting to pull his hair out.

So.

I told him I was backing off. To set and stick to a budget, both parties have to be on board. Even though I'm big enough for both of us...he was not on board and I knew this wasn't going to work.

I apologized (my so not favorite thing to do) and told him when he was ready to let me know. I told the Lord I really needed Josh's help with this. Told Him I wanted Josh to be as excited as me about becoming debt free.

He may not be jumping up and down excited but we put our income on paper. We looked at our financial situation. And I can tell he's excited to actually pay attention to where our money goes. Usually we just spend and spend and hope there's enough money at the end of the month to make the next month's house payment.

As we were looking at the numbers we wondered how we've been making it all this time. We used to pretend to budget and saw that we were throwing away money during the month that we could be saving. Now we barely make enough to make ends meet. Part of it is we now pay health insurance where Josh works, whereas Josh's old boss paid it for us before. That's a big chunk.

It wasn't pretty yesterday as I was putting numbers in. Stuff has to go. At first I just thought I could get rid of my cell phone and that'd be it.

Nope.

Internet's gotta go, too.

I kinda wanna cry about that.

As a SAHM this computer is my outlet. It's my way of kinda having friends. Having people older than 2 to talk to.

But are reading blogs, MySpace, email, news, weather, online banking more important to me than becoming debt-free, saving for my kids' college fund, and saving for retirement?

Not even close.

So, yeah, it kinda stinks that today or tomorrow is my last day online. But, Dave says, "Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else."

It may be hard for a time but I know the end result is going to be worth it.

I'm not giving up blogging for good. I'm sure I'll find places to get online (ahem, Amber) and keep you up to date on the exciting life of us. :) And, if ya wanna email me, you can do that, too. Just view my complete profile and there's a linky-doodle dealio for my email address.

Wow...this is making me sad. I feel like we're breaking up. It's not you, it's me. ;)

I love all of you, even you who lurk and never comment, I know you're there and I'm glad you stop by. Thank you to those who have left comments and become part of my life. I appreciate you. I'm thankful for you.





If you want to become debt-free but don't know the first place to start, I highly suggest Dave's site. It's amazing the peace we already feel just starting! Anyone can do it. Anyone. It does require sacrifice. It requires hard work. But it's possible.

I seriously am feeling some Spring Fever. I need sunshine, I need flip flops, I need a tan, I need some shorts (that will not be happening til I'm flab free), I need some Sangria time with my husband, ALONE.

I'm so ready. So ready for it to be warm so we can hang out on our deck, have some bbq's, stay outside til 9 pm, do yard work, etc.

I just want Summer here already!

But since it's not warm, I've been sitting at the kitchen table with a budget worksheet and it's really fun to be the controller of the money instead of being controlled by my money. I'm really thankful for a 3 payday month, means we can throw some extra at our debt. yee haw!

And since it's not warm, there are many inside chores I could be doing. Like FAPA.

Or I could just continue to blog...

It's been over a week since I've posted.

I really don't feel I've anything to write about. At least nothing exciting.

Not that it always has to be exciting, because I'm sure it probably isn't.

My mom was here for awhile.

I went to my SIL's to scrapbook for an entire weekend with no child.

That was incredible!

We're refinancing our home for a 15 yr loan and that makes me feel like a grown up.

I went to Costco today and left without buying paper towels. I was really proud of me. I love paper towels. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE! But I realized I've been getting along just fine without them the last couple of months.

We have a bunch of work to do on the outside of our house before the appraiser can come.

It's supposed to rain the rest of the week.

The baby growing inside me is getting bigger all the time. I can tell. I feel very pregnant. Last night I went to take a bath and just stared at myself in the mirror. I don't want to wish away this pregnancy because most likely it will be my last; however, I want to feel "normal" again. I'm selfish like that.

I made a decision entirely on impulse last week.

I'm completely regretting it.

I really feel that the Lord wants me to learn to wait on Him.

His timing is perfect, after all.

I have groceries upstairs that need to be put away. I'm wondering if they'll grow arms and legs and do the putting away of themselves.

Prolly not, huh?

Insert Swear Word Here

I'm a pretty easy-going girl. At least I like to think I am. Hopefully others see me that way as well.

So today is the worst day, ever. Okay, maybe not ever. But it's the worst day I've had in a long long time.

I'd like to go on and on, rant and rave, but I'm still too angry to talk about today's events.

Too angry. Too frustrated.

I'm done for now.

You're welcome.

My Cravings

I embarrass myself enough on here, right? You already know I'm a lil freakish, yes?

At the end of my pregnancy with Jaylee we had my SIL's cats staying with us. How many were there, Treena? 2? 3? I was thinking 3. So, we're cat-sitting for a while. These are indoor cats mind you. Indoor cats use litter boxes. Pregnant girls aren't supposed to change litter boxes (a pregnant woman sooo came up with that rule).

I'm thinking that totally works, cats can stay here, Josh can clean up after them. Except...oh I can't believe I'm admitting this...except I wanted, loved, craved, neeeeded to clean out the cat box. It was no chore. I gladly did it. Even though technically I wasn't supposed to.

Hmm...maybe that's why Jaylee is the way she is, eh?

Then the cats were gone. No more dirty, amonia smelling litter.

Somehow I survived.

I was thinking that so far this pregnancy I haven't had much for cravings. Sure I like to say, "oh honey, can you go to the store for ice cream, buffalo wings, butterfingers, ice, etc" but I haven't really craved them.

I just want them.

But the other day it happened. I had a craving.

I wanted to eat my clean clothes. LOL

I did. I was pulling clean clothes out of the washer and started to put them in the dryer when my senses were overfilled with joy at the smell of these amazingly clean, just washed in Tide, rinsed with Bounty fabric softener clothes.

It took everything in me not to put my wet, clean t-shirts in my mouth. You skerd of me yet?

Me too.

Then, I was off to clean the toilet. Again. And the smell of Pine-Sol and Comet and the sound of the pumice stick, oh my heck, if I didn't remember what happens in and around the toilet, I may have taken cue from the dog and drank from it.

I'm so pregnant. I'm so having cravings.

I'm so going to lose my readership.

Road to Recovery

I'm not going to look up the posts to link you here and there of all the times I've told you what a bad homekeeper I've been. If you've been lurking reading for any length of time, you know. If you're a newbie, welcome! Sit down! Leave comments! And know that I used to be horrible.

Horrible as in, packed up my dirty dishes in a rubbermaid tub and drove them across town to my SIL's house to put in her dishwasher.

Horrible as in, my husband would run out of the 37 pairs of manties (yes, men's panties) because I would not do laundry.

And if I did do said laundry, it would sit all over every piece of furniture in our living room unless someone was coming over and then it would be thrown on the cleanest floor in the cleanest bedroom we could find.

No joke-my husband would invite people over to our home just so I'd have to clean.

I was that bad.

However, ladies and jellybeans, I'm on the road to recovery. And after reading Cindy's post today, I got a lil skerd. She used to be crazy ( I mean that in the best way, Cindy)but I found myself feeling a bit of a high as she described the way she used to clean her countertop. :)

Because my road to recovery has kinda been that in some areas, I'm getting a little too clean. I neglect other things I should be doing because I'm FAPA'ing (folding and putting away) laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming, scrubbing the toilet, etc. When, all Jaylee wants is for me to play a game with her or Josh wants me to just sit and ask how his day was.

I've been trying so hard to make up for who I used to be that I've gone overboard.

And this week, I hit a wall. I've hardly done anything. The laundry piled up. *gasp* The toilet was only cleaned twice this week. (uh huh, I've been cleaning it more than that) And I didn't always know what was for dinner by noon. (something I'm working on because it keeps us from eating out)

So, last night...I panicked. Josh and Jaylee were gone, my house was a disaster and I didn't know where to start.

I called my mommy. It makes FAPA go by much faster when you're on the phone.

And as we were talking, she assured me that just because I've let things go this week doesn't mean I'm falling back into the person I was before. She encouraged me and told me that I was a good wife and mom. It was nice to have that reassurance.

It took me over 45 minutes to FAPA all my laundry but I did it. I didn't do anything else but I did do that.

This road to recovery thing is a big deal for me.

Really hoping that a few years from now I don't still hit panic mode when 4 loads of laundry are piled on my bed, laughing at me.

Ready for Flips

Is it Summer yet? Or at least Spring?

'Cause I'm so very ready.

I'm looking forward to dandelions in my yard and bees buzzing in my trees. I'm ready for the six neighbor kids to be outside screaming at each other and often making their way to our house to play with my husband. I'm ready for the smell of barbecues. I'm ready for the snow to be out of my yard and the sogginess of our driveway to go away.

I'm ready for flips. They make my heart go pitter-patter.

It's a wonderful feeling that feeling of summer.

Short and Sweet...hey, kinda like me!

Quick post to say that today was the Mom's group.

And I went.

On the right day.

And I had fun.

And they didn't ask me how much I don't read my Bible!

Oh, and our lessons will be on Titus 2, how funny is that?! Seeing as how I've been reading that book I told ya about.

So, I'm pretty excited.

In need of Duct Tape

Bugger.

Where to begin?

Saturday night we had decided not to go to church because Jaylee is kinda sick. Runny nose mainly but a little cough, too. However, Sunday morning rolls around and we really wanna go to church.

We decide to go and have Jaylee sit with us through service and get the adults sick instead of the kids. I was a little apprehensive because we've not been too good at training her to sit still for long periods of time. (Kinda makes her sound like a puppy, huh?)

I'm totally getting off the subject I wanna be blogging about...

We get to church and as you walk in the door, there's a table with the latest sign-ups, Ladie's Bible Study worksheets, devotionals, etc. I noticed this week there were some bracelets. You know the ones. I think they started out with WWJD? And then Live Strong, and now there's a plethora of them.

The one I was looking at was pretty plain. Blue in color and had a simple verse on it. Philippians 2:14. I wasn't familiar with the verse, so I didn't take a bracelet.

We sit down in the back, in case Jaylee needs to be taken out of the sanctuary during the service. Because remember how our pastor is a stickler about noisy children? Anyway, I look up the verse.

"Do all things without complaining or disputing." Philippians 2:14 NKJV

Um...but how will I talk?

No, seriously.

How will I?

I'm such a complainer. Huge. Amazing. The best. You'd think I get paid for it.

But I decide to take one. Hoping, praying, that it will be a great reminder to me. Josh laughs everytime I start complaining. And each time I'm so close to ripping the bracelet off and chuckin' it across the room or just laying it nicely on my bible, like this.


I'm done for now. You know, talking about this. But I know it's an issue for me. So, I'm going to share more on it later. After I get more thoughts together. I can only have one at a time, ya know. :)

Oh, and we didn't have to take Jaylee out of the sanctuary. She was good!

He's lucky he's cute

Remember how I call him husband when he's been naughty?

Well, that's what we shall call him today.

After lunch today the husband and I decide to have some ice cream. His duty is to scoop it out (being the burly man that he is) and my duty is to smother it in chocolate.

So.

We have two bowls.

He has the scooper.

I have the syrup.

He scoops a big amount into one bowl and says: "This one is mine."

I ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because I'm a big boy."

Then he puts one measley scoop into my bowl and says: "This one is yours."

I foolishly ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because you're a big girl."

And then he chuckles. He's proud of his funny little joke.

And then I take his bowl of ice cream.

And I chuckle.

Dreaming of a Clean Home

It's not a dream around here. Mine is. Amazing, huh? I know!

But what I've noticed-no one ever just stops by when your house is clean. Nope, they show up the one (or twelve) days you didn't clean it.

My house smells like Pine-Sol. One of my most favoritest smells, ever. It doesn't smell like that because I merely opened the bottle, it smells heavenly in my home because I mopped the kitchen.

But will anyone just show up randomly on my doorstep today?

Nope.

Un uh.

Doesn't work that way for me.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my preggo pic. Saying how "adorable" I am...I'll be sure to remind myself of that the next time I'm nude and not feeling so "adorable".

A message from the Hoff

He also wants you to know that you can get your Valentine cards here. Your cards will be shipped Next Day, so you're sure to have 'em on time.

And if you don't need VD (that's making me laugh just a lil) cards, there are other cards available.

So, go make someone's day and "Send Snail Mail!"

You're Invited, even if ya can't make it

So, I'm hosting a Close to My Heart party. If you've never heard of CTMH, it's scrapbook and paper crafting products galore! I'm in love with it. I'm not very good at it but I love to scrapbook and I love CTMH's products. I love putting the pictures down on paper and journaling about the events of our lives. But it's not just about scrapbooking, there are plenty of other products for every other paper craft you've got goin' on!

If you wanna check it out, go here and you can browse their awesome stuff and even order if you find something(s) you like. It'll even be shipped right to ya!

I'll leave the link in my sidebar until the party closes.

3 months (or so) to go!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. I only have three months until the baby is due. Is it okay to admit I'm kinda in a state of panic?! I mean, I'm not-but I am.

Mainly I worry about the kids sharing a room.

Will the baby wake up Jaylee?
Will Jaylee try to get in the crib with the baby?
What if the baby's a boy, will he care that we've got some paisley going on in there?

I worry that I'll be feeding him/her and Jaylee will be running wild throughout the house and there won't be anything I can do to stop her.

I'm nervous about breastfeeding. I nursed Jaylee for a year but that first week, oh boy! I wanted to die! So, that has me a little apprehensive. If not for the encouragement of my husband and prayers of so many family and friends, I know I would've given up.

Lately I've been feeling the baby is a boy, but I thought Jaylee was going to be a boy and look how that turned out! :) We've picked a boy name I love, so that makes me happy. I really thought if the baby was a boy we'd be naming him just that, "boy" since we couldn't decide on anything.

Having my stomach muscles cut last March makes me nervous that my delivery won't go as smoothly as it did with Jaylee.

There are a few of my concerns.

I am excited too! Really, I am.

Should be fun to go into the hospital and lose all sense of modesty.

I'm looking forward to not having back pain from the bowling ball sticking out the front of me.

I'm excited to be able to see my feet again. Yeah, I already can't see 'em!

I'm going to love it when people ask me when my baby's due, you know, two weeks after it's born.

See, I have things I'm excited about. :)

So, here I am in all my 6 month pregnant glory. Treena, this is the shirt ya got me, it fits! And I'm wearing my glasses, since I told you guys I got 'em, I just never sported them for you.

Bear with me, I'm long winded today.

I've really been enjoying my book, Feminine Appeal.

I shared with you a few posts back about enjoying serving my husband, something I'm learning from this book.

A few years back, okay nine and a half years back...we were given a journal for a wedding gift. Inside the front cover were "rules" of the journal. It was something to write in to encourage one another, to resolve conflicts, just to say "I love you" etc. I was reading through past entries and my heart was broken.

See, for several years, I was only one who wrote in the journal. I thought Josh read it but never replied. The first entry was about three months after we were married and I wrote pretty often for awhile, then as I realized I was the only one writing, I got a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter. And my entries stopped being about how much I loved him or missed him while he was at work, and became more, "why don't you do this for me, why aren't we spending much time together, etc."

Let me also tell you that during this bitter time I was not a good homekeeper. I wasn't working yet I filled my day reading books, going shopping, do anything I could so I wouldn't have to be at home. My husband would work hard all day and come home to a messy house and no meal prepared for him. He'd been serving me all day long and I couldn't give him a hot meal?

My heart hurts remembering my foolish, selfish, childish behavior. I'm so thankful that Jesus has helped me see that in myself and has helped me to overcome it. Mostly I'm thankful for His forgiveness of my sin.

A few years into our marriage Josh started driving a semi-truck and was gone Sunday night to Friday evening. I could've gone with him but didn't. (another post, another time) We spent even less time together. My love language is quality time, you wanna make me feel loved, spend time with me!

Since he was never home, I stopped feeling loved. Things went downhill. Again, another post for another time...

Back to the journal...

One day I found the journal and considered tossing it. Why keep it if I'm the only one writing in it, what's the point? But decided to look in it, one last time.

And holy moly!

He'd written in it!

Page after page he wrote. Pouring out his heart. He'd not just never written me back, he didn't even know I'd written in it! Didn't remember the journal. He apologized. He read all my entries and could see my heart change through them. He saw that I became bitter about how much he worked and how little time we spent together.

Rereading it yesterday, this is where my heart broke:

"Whatever I do with my hands, I do for you."

The first time I read it, it didn't really hit me. But yesterday, thinking back to all the years those hands of his have worked hard to provide for me, I was in awe of him. All those cold mornings he'd be outside rolling tanks at the gas company or the year he pushed a lawn mower 12-14 hours a day, or the couple years he drove truck, shifting gears, tarping loads of lumber, hay, pipe, etc. And now back at the gas company, back to rolling tanks in extremely cold weather. And then, I remembered the pictures I took from the other night, after he finished working on my car, in freezing temperatures.


These are the hands of the man who has provided for me for the last nine and half years of my life.

These are the hands of the man who goes into the bathroom, gets a brush, and brushes my hair.

The hands of the man who busts his knuckles repairing our rigs.

The hands of the man who cuddles, tickles, rocks and disciplines our daughter.

The hands of the man who hold me while I cry for no reason.

These are the hands of the man who has served me for the last nine and a half years, without complaint.

I think now is a good time for me to start serving him. I may feel almost ten years late but I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of the next 50+ years I have of serving him.

Simple Date Night

Before Jaylee was born Josh and I went on dates a lot. It was easy to. We could just decide we wanted to go and that was that.

Now that she's around it's been quite a bit more difficult. Finding a babysitter isn't the easiest thing for us to do. Sure my in-laws aren't far from us, but it doesn't take long before I feel I'm abusing that privilege. For the most part, if we want to go do something, Jaylee goes along. It's not a bad thing. She's well behaved (for the most part) and she's fun to be around and she doesn't add any expense to our meals because she still eats from our plates. I'm enjoying this while it lasts!

However, there are times I would just like to be with my husband. And have all his attention on me and mine on him.

Last night was one of those nights I just wanted to be with him. But with a week til payday and no one to watch Jaylee, I had to be a lil creative.

So, I started Jaylee's bedtime routine an hour early. We read books, changed her into jammies, we played and then at 7 instead of 8, we put her to bed.

And for an extra hour Josh and I just enjoyed being together. We talked. I gave him a backrub. Then he left the room and came back with every pillow we own. He laid them out trying to make it so I could lay on my tummy so he could rub my back. It was pretty funny. Then we just sat on the couch and played Sudoku...or however you spell it.

It wasn't anything fancy. But it was free. Fun. Relaxing. Enjoyable.

And I think we'll do this more often.

Dork

That's me. Gave you the wrong address on my sidebar for my mother. She's all fixed now. So you can go stalk her.

Thanks, Erica for letting me know!

Not even sure how to title this.

Over on Liz's blog, she asked "What are some things you have said that didn't quite come out right?"

I posted my latest slip up in her comments section, hoping it's okay...

Anyway, thought I'd share my idiotness with the rest of the class.

I was talking to Treena on the phone the other night, somehow we got on the conversation of Josh and me working in the nursery at church.

I tell her, "Our pastor is a stickler when it comes to baby makin' noises in the sanctuary."

I paused. She paused. And I realized what I'd said. What I'd meant to say was, "babies makin noises in the sanctuary."

My, how a little wording changes everything...

Possible Mistake...

But I added my mom's blog to my sidebar. She posts quite sporadically (remember that word from Clueless?!) and I'm a little worried what you may learn about me from her. Disregard anything she may say that would cause you to not come back here.

Listed below are some reasons not to visit her blog...

-She can be delusional.

-Pretty sure she's on meds half the time (possibly all of the time)

-She can only see out of one eye, seriously!

-She's warped.

-Her sense of humor...well, it's definitely her own...

-Her name is Arla. Not Carla, not Darla, not even Marla. It's Arla. Who names their kid that?

Reasons to visit her blog...

-She is my mother, so that in itself makes her amazing.

Cloth Diapering

Any of you amazing readers out there cloth diaper your child/ren?

It's something I considered with my first but had quite a few negative reactions to it, so I didn't do it.

Now, realizing we've spent about $1400 in diapers for Jaylee, I'm thinking it's something I should look into more seriously. Negative opinions aside...

If you did do it or are doing it, any frugal advice about cloth diapers for me?

While on Hiatus

So, remember when I got rid of the internet? Oh, how I do...

While I was gone I never told you about one of the greatest moments of my life of 2007. Do you remember in 1987, when Johnny got Baby out of the corner? Do you? Oh, how I do...

I may have only been seven years old but how I loved, loved that movie. My sisters and I would pretend we could do "the lift" and we'd put on dresses that flipped up as we spun around. Oh, the 80's...

So, 2007 marked the 20th Anniversary of Dirty Dancing. Amber loves the movie as much as I do. When we found out it would be playing ON THE BIG SCREEN in select theaters we were quick to find out where the nearest one from us would be.

200 miles away.

Uh huh, we went.

Childless.

Husbandless.

It was amazing.

We left about 10 hours before the movie started, even though it was only going to take us about 3 to get there. We went to an outlet mall and found ourselves in Claire's, the hair and ear accessories shop, you know-for girls 13 and under. It was as if we were back in 1987. I couldn't get enough of the place. I bought this really large, neon green belt and wore it over my shirt for the rest of our trip. The girl working in the store wasn't our biggest fan. We had told her we came into the store to get out of the rain, part way through our shopping experience she informed us it had stopped raining and we could leave.

But we're having fun in here!

We went to lunch at Red Robin. Made up stories about the people at other tables. Don't judge us, you do it, too.

We still had a few hours to kill, seriously. So, we found ourselves at a Walgreen's. Where I found a Grey's Anatomy board game for under 10 bucks! Along with some candy for the movie and other random junk. We were thrilled! Thrilled, I say!

We parked ourselves at the theater and still had two hours to wait. So, we did what most people do, we measured our noses with the Rolos we'd bought And we played the board game til there were no more questions to answer.

And then...then came movie time! We get our drinks and our popcorn and we sit ourselves in our seats and basically we squealed with delight. And we weren't the only ones there. However, we were the only ones who had driven 200 miles. When the movie came on everyone screamed and clapped and I think I may have had a tear in my eye. It was the best experience of my life.

Watching that movie on the big screen was incredible!

Why'd I post about this today? I dunno. Probably because I have nothing else to write about and I remembered this wonderful story was never told.

Well, at least this pregnant-brained girl doesn't remember telling the story...

Bits and Pieces

For those of you who not only read blogs but blog yourself, do you find yourself with a million half-written posts in your head, things you'd like to say, but just can't quite form an entire post about it?

So you have bits and pieces.

Say...ya wanna write about the new tennis shoes ya got, but you also wanna talk about giving birth without drugs, or how your husband took your daughter for a couple of hours so you could sleep but instead you scrapbooked, or possibly about how the Lord has laid on your heart to see your child as a blessing and not a burden, or maybe about how you were 3/4 of the way to church yesterday when you spill your mocha all down the front of you (and they already think you're a dork because you came to Mom's group on the wrong day) and how baby wipes are a miracle worker when it comes to removing said coffee from your pink shirt?

Ever just have those random half-written posts in your head?

Yeah, me either. But I was just curious.

Yeah, I have nothing. Nothing to say. Nothing to write about. But I wanted to at least post and let ya know that.

'Cause that's how I roll.

Forgot to Mention

That my no-longer-working-because-i-am-pregnant-brain also malfunctioned at Target yesterday.

I get out to my car after spending too much time (and money) and realize my car door is wide open. Yep. I left 'er open. Nothing was stolen. Thank goodness. Would have been tragic to lose the kid's carseat and the 37 cents I had in the ashtray. I wouldn't have minded the Bible being stolen because I figure whoever stole it needs it more than I do. But, guess the Lord thought I was still needing it, because it was still in the passenger seat. And since I gave the Rice Krispie treats to Pastor Tom, I didn't need to worry about those, they were already gone. The stereo wasn't there but then again, it wasn't there before I went into Target.

Since I didn't get to eat any of those treats yesterday I decided I'd make myself some today. I thought to myself that I'd make them and eat them before Josh got home, then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about eating them because he'd never know I made them. You know how it works, if no one sees you eat an entire pan of Rice Krispie treats, it never happened. But...he walked in for lunch right as I was putting them in the pan.

Blast.

Pulling out the Pregnant Card

Even though I'm Whiner of America and really good at getting my husband to do things for me that I could so do by myself, while I'm pregnant I don't believe in doing that.

I don't say, "I can't do that, I'm pregnant." Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I don't say, "I'm sick of peeing every 15 minutes, can you go for me this time?" Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I also don't say, "I can't change the litter box, I'm pregnant, you're going to hafta do it." I probably don't say this because we don't have a cat.

Anyway, I try really hard not to be a baby while carrying a baby. Josh commented on it the other night, so I was glad he noticed.

However, after the dumb thing I did today, I'm so pulling the Pregnant Card.

Our church has a Mom's Group thing that meets a couple of times a month. I've never been. I make the excuse that we live about 40 miles from church and it's so hard for me to go, blah blah blah...when, in reality it's because I'm skerd. I love these girls. I take care of some of their kids when Josh and I serve in the nursery but I still get nervous about the small group setting, where I may be asked questions about how often I read (or in my case, don't read )the Bible. I'm skerd they won't like me. I have a tendency to show my true colors too soon after meeting people (and I wonder why I only have Amber for a friend...)

Anyway...

I decided on Sunday, after I got the little postcard handed to me, that I would go this week. I'd make a trip of it. Go to Bible study, go grocery shopping, take Jaylee to lunch, possibly stop in at my mom's work and say hello, etc. Today, I'm all pumped. I get up. Get dressed. And I remember, "if you feed them, they will like you." so I proceed to whip up some Rice Krispie treats.

I drive the 40 miles to church. Walk in with Bible, purse, kid and treats in hand. Pastor Tom was sitting at his desk, singin' away, sees us and greets us. I ask if the ladies are meeting downstairs.

"Uh, Sarah, that was yesterday."

I, feeling a bit sheepish, say, "okay, here's some treats, see ya Sunday!"

He didn't let me leave. Talked to me for a bit, says he'll only take the treats because there's a home fellowship meeting that night and it'd be great to have the treats, blah blah blah. I know he's thinking, "you're a moron, can't believe you came on the wrong day, especially when my wife gave you a postcard that clearly states the women meet on Wednesdays not Thursdays."

But he didn't make me feel like a moron, he was nice, pastors are s'posed to be dontchaknow?

Yep, this is me, pulling the Pregnant Card. Can't help my retardness, this baby is sucking my brains out.

I wrote my post yesterday and left the computer. Kristie is always so great about commenting on just 'bout every post. By the time I'd gone to bed last night, she'd not commented.

I was out of bed before 5 this morning. Holy cow. And some of my first thoughts were about yesterday's post. I had sat here and typed away, mainly for myself, getting my thoughts out but this morning I was thinking that maybe I was sounding like a whiner. I came downstairs and decided I'd delete the post. You know, 'cause if I deleted it from my archives then that meant surely no one had already read it...

Uh huh...

But I come down here, check my email and in there are three encouraging comments on yesterday's post. It was so nice to be reassured that y'all know me and know that I wasn't complaining but venting what was on my heart. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for praying for and encouraging me.

I love you guys so much!

***************

In other random Culver news:

I've talked about it plenty of times. Housework is not my strong suit. I kinda enjoy it but usually fall so far behind in it that it becomes a huhuhuge chore. I get overwhelmed and the result is often my amazing husband helping me to catch up.

This has not been the case.

I've not used my dishwasher in two days, yet I have no dirty dishes in the sink. I've been doing them by hand! (I know, Mom, you're wondering if I'm ill) I've been doing them throughout the day, so there aren't many to do at a time. I can listen to music, talk with Jaylee, stare out the window and just enjoy my hands in the nice warm water. It's been relaxing!

Laundry, oh my, the FAPA part (fold and put away) is usually something that doesn't get done. I'll wash and dry a load of clothes. Throw it on my bed and start another load. During this time the dog has found herself a nice warm bed. I'll do 10 loads of laundry in a day because I fail to complete just one load a day. I see this huge pile of clothes, that were clean mind you, but are wrinkled, now covered in dog hair and there are so many of them I don't want to FAPA them.

Early last week I caught myself up. And have since kept up. I've washed, dried and FAPA'd one load a day since. We came back from Portland and within 10 minutes of being home I had started a load of laundry. It's been kinda nuts. I've just been so thankful to the Lord for giving me a desire to keep my home, I've been praying for it and He answered.

Sure, I'm probably nesting but it's getting addicting and I'm enjoying myself.

Been where I have been? Ask Jesus for a desire to enjoy the dishes or laundry or cleaning the bathroom. It may take a while to see a change in yourself but it'll happen.

That Prayer Request

Thank you to everyone who's praying for our family.

I think I'm just going to go ahead and say what I was requesting prayer for. I didn't in the first place because I was fearful. I'd had a bad day. I mean, it was good. But I felt like I was failing as a believer.

I'd decided on Sunday night that I was going to do my devotions on Monday. It's been a long time and I need to get back into that. I was looking forward to it.

Was.

I called Josh yesterday morning about something or maybe he called me...I can't remember and it really doesn't matter who called who, huh? Anyway...

While we're talking he tells me he wants to start a Bible study in our home.

Wow.

I was thinking, "is this really my husband I'm talking to?" I truly believe my husband is an amazing teacher. He would tell you that he's not. He feels a lil like Moses. But if you've ever read anything by him, like this here, or heard him explain something, you know he has a way of painting a picture in your head and making things clear.

SO...I totally think it'd be awesome to have a Bible study. But I worry about if we'll really follow through, if people will really come, etc. And then after my devotional time yesterday, I was bawling. I had opened up my Bible. I read a chapter and realized that I had no clue what I'd read.

And I remembered why I don't have my devotions regularly. I feel completely lost. I feel dumb that I don't understand what I've read and I wonder how I'm supposed to get to know Jesus better if I can't understand His Word.

Devotional time yesterday just wasn't a good time for me. The entire time I was thinking, "how can I be a helper to my husband and this Bible study if I don't know anything about the Bible?!"

I want to know Jesus. I want to follow hard after Him. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him. I want that close intimate relationship with Him. I want to have people talk to me and be able to respond to them and know that it's words of wisdom, not just spew from my mouth. Because you talk like the One you talk to. The better I know Him, the better I'll be able to talk to others.

Anyway.

So, I would still appreciate your prayers. Please pray for us to pick a day to have the study. Pray for people to come. Pray for me to be a helper to my husband. Pray for a direction in what to study.

You know, just those few things.

Prayer Request

There's a thing. Yeah, I don't know what else to call it. And since I'm not where I can share about it yet, I'm just going to ask you to pray for my husband and me.

Just pray for us.

Okay, thanks! :)

Can't sleep, here's why.

For five nights now I've tossed and turned. The turning part isn't so easy lately since my belly gets in the way. Here are some random thoughts that can keep a girl awake even when she's dead tired.

-did I love on Jaylee enough today?

-gas prices, holy heck, I'm so tired of the money spent on gas.

-my house has been clean for over a week. Really clean. It's really weird. I know that normal people keep a clean house all the time, me...not so much. My mom says I'm nesting, I'd like to think I'm finally growing up and taking responsibility for my home.

-the closet we'll be building in the kids' room (man, it's weird to have kid be in plural, I'm going to have two of them soon!) I keep designing the inside of the closet over and over in my head.

-sugar. My midwife told me I need to cut back on my sugar intake. That's rough. This morning I had to ask the Lord to help me get through my bowl of cereal without sugar.

-our Beagle. We're leaving for the weekend and she can't go. No one wants to keep her for us and I can't say as I blame 'em. I can't stand her either. But I'm panicking because we leave in a few hours and I've yet to know what to do with her. Thinking a trip to the pound....(just kidding, Melinda)

-embarrassment over having things others don't. I've been feeling guilty over what I have. Is this right? Is this the enemy just pestering me?

-two kids? Really? What were we thinking? Jaylee is two and a half. And lately she's been showing her true colors. Everyone tells me it's her age, she'll get passed it. But is being two really an excuse or am I failing to train her properly? How can I have another if I can't control the first?

-my dad. Sometimes I just get sad thinking about him. I really need to grow up.

-weight gain. I gained 58 lbs while pregnant with Jaylee and I didn't lose all of it. Starting to panic over that, so far I've only gained a couple this time around.

-friendships. Am I a good friend? Am I letting people down? Should I continue to make an effort with those that don't reciprocate? Honestly, I get tired of being the one to make the effort but I love my friendships and don't want them to end just because I got tired of being the one to call or whatever. How petty am I!?

-am I enjoying serving my husband? Does he know that even though I hate to do dishes, I'm thankful for the money he provides our family so I can buy the groceries to make the meals that make those dishes dirty?

-our 10 year anniversary is coming. Would it be weird to renew our wedding vows?

-labor and delivery. Pushing Jaylee out was a breeze, I had stomach muscles then. However, they've been cut since then, how will this next one find a way out!?


That's just a few of the things I have been mulling around at night. It's making me overwhelmed. I love to sleep and hate that I haven't been able to.

And on a very random side note, Happy Greysday! A new episode is on tonight! Woo hoo!

Fickle

I could never buy a fancy shmancy blog layout. I just couldn't. I like to change mine too much. Just really wish I knew how to make it all fancy shmancy all by myself.

My husband is home for lunch, suppose I should get some fixin's for him.

Hey, Mom...

Still laughing over the fishing pole. And it's been a coupla hours. Love you.

She's a Hoot

Sometimes I think if I didn't have a child or husband, I'd have nothing to blog about. Thank goodness for Jaylee today, otherwise you'd have to start visiting my archives and we wouldn't want you falling asleep at work or anything like that...

Today, I'm on the phone with Amber, and when I'm on the phone, Jaylee has this bad habit of thinking that's "free time" and she likes to do as many naughty things as possible.

Today was no different.

Amber can tell it's quiet in the house and asks if Jaylee is sleeping.

She wasn't.

I look over and she's unplugged my iPod from the stereo and is trying to stuff it into her little jeans pocket.

I tell her that that's a no-no. As if she doesn't already know. I ask her to bring it to me and she holds it up to her ear and pretends it's a phone.

"It's not a phone, Jaylee, it's an iPod." I tell her.

"Oh, HiPod!" She yells.

It's really hard to discpline your child when they're funny.

Her First Dance

Last night one of my favorite moments between Josh and Jaylee happened. My all time favorite of course was seeing him hold her for the first time. The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father. And in the first moment he saw her and held her, in his eyes, I could see his world change.

Yep, gettin' teary just thinking about it.

But last night was definitely up there on my list of faves.

Jaylee informs him she wants to dance. So, of course he obliges...you know because she has him wrapped around that lil pinky of hers. He plugs in my iPod and Alison Krauss' version of When You Say Nothing at All starts to play. Jaylee has my music talent and starts dancing like it's rap music. She's jumping all over the place to this beautiful slow song.

Josh picks her up.

"It's a slow song, Jaylee. Put one hand on daddy's shoulder and hold my other hand."

And they danced.

The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father....

I thanked the Lord that Jaylee has a daddy willing to take the time to show her he loves her.

Enjoying Serving

I received a book for Christmas, well, I received three books for Christmas but I saved this one for last because I knew that it would be one to teach me, one that I'd want to linger on awhile.

I'm only 30 pages in and I feel the Lord speaking to my heart. Honestly, I love and hate when that happens. I hate to see areas where I'm failing but love how gently the Lord shows me where I need to improve.

The author, whose name I can't think of at the moment, recalls a story of one day where, at the end of her day she realizes she had served her husband but had not enjoyed him. It was a busy day for her. He had called to see how she was doing and she spoke quickly and ended their conversation pretty fast. Later in the day she had dropped off his clothes at the cleaner, gone to the bank and some other errands I believe and then stopped at his office to let him know the rest of her plans for the day, but she kept the visit brief.

She said she realized at the end of the day, that while she had served him (clothes to the cleaners and other errands) she had not enjoyed him. She didn't take time to converse with him on the phone when he'd called her and had not taken much time for him at his office either.

How often have I done this?!

So often.

There are times where I'm so proud of myself for the chores I've gotten done throughout the day and I pat myself on the back that dinner is literally on the table when he walks in the door. But there are evenings where we'll have dinner, I'll finish my food and instead of lingering at the table to talk about his day, I'll get up and start on dishes or throw laundry in or read a book.

Yes, I've served my husband.

But I've not enjoyed him.

I'm looking forward to reading more and learning more. I'm looking forward to enjoying my husband, enjoying serving him.

Happy New Year, everyone!

We had the best time ever. Ever. Such a great night. To see some fun pictures of our night, check out Kristie's blog. I didn't take any pics with my digital camera (once again) so head over there and you can check out the fun we had.

It's 2008 now. 2007 is gone. I made resolutions last year, remember? And I knew then I'd probably only accomplish one of 'em. And one is all I accomplished. I started to write that I wish it had been that I'd grown a garden or learned to bake a pie but I'm actually proud of the one resolution I kept.

Jaylee knows her ABC's.

She'll shout them in Wal Mart for you if you'd like to hear. The lady passing by us the other day got a kick out of it. *sigh* We're now working on keeping our voices down in public. And not referring to women with short haircuts as men. 'Cause yeah, she did that. "Look mama, it's uh man!"

My Christmas shopping or handmade gifts (I didn't make any) were not done by August. I didn't quit biting my nails. I did lose 15 lbs of the 20 I wanted to lose but I guess morning sickness doesn't count for a healthy way to lose weight, now does it? And since I've gained all that back...

Bugger.

Anyway.

We were lying in bed and I told Josh that 2007 was a pretty busy year for us. My grandpa passed away, I got appendicitis, I got cancer, we went on lil mini vacations to Portland, Jaylee turned TWO, Josh walked the Portland Marathon with his sister, my grandma passed away, I got pregnant...

It was a full year. Of good things. And sad things.

But I realized I'm not a reflector. (If that's a term for a person) I don't really think about much. I'm not deep. I live each day as it comes and sadly, sometimes I don't learn from the day's mistakes that I've made.

I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to be someone who is more thoughtful. I want to think before I speak. I learned recently that that's sooo important. Words I said were hurtful. I didn't intend them to be, not at all, but they were.

I'm a loudmouth. I know this. My mom used to call me "mouth" when I was younger. I talk too much. Sometimes too loudly. And usually it's just a bunch of stuff that doesn't need to be said. I'll never be a quiet person. It's just not in me. But I'd like to be quieter. I'd like to think more and speak less.

And that, my friends is my only New Years Resolution this year.