But I LOVE Mondays!

It's just one of those days, I 'spose.

Where it's all gonna suck. My baby decided to get a tooth and I don't know who told her she could do that. If that kid bites me while I'm feeding her, she's free to good home. The older child has decided to call me "Mother" instead of "Mommy" or "Mama" and I don't remember telling her she could do that.

I received an overdraft notice to my bank in town. Dumb me. The account that has like 4 bucks in it, yeah I usually just use that one for coffee but I guess I grabbed the wrong card. Anywho. They charged me $20 and that made me sad. So, I decided I'd just go in and ask them if they could pretty please just take the charge off and I promise I won't be a moron and use the wrong card ever again. I asked the Lord if He would just please go before me and if they wouldn't reverse it, well...my bad. I was in the wrong so I had to deal with it if it didn't go in my favor.

Josh told me they wouldn't go for it.

Hehehe, Joshie was wrong. It doesn't happen very often that he is. :) I guess that's a good part about today. The reverse charge not Josh being wrong....

Another thing that is exciting is that my first ever, I'm gonna get my groceries for $35, went splendidly! When I'm feeling up to it, which isn't now, I'll show ya my receipt. I went over budget by 88 cents. 88!!! That's it! It was great. I was on this amazing high. I told my mom and she says, "it's not just bare bones is it, you have other stuff too, right?"

Uh, no. It's bare bones. That's the point at the moment.

Silly Mother.

I had a Scentsy party on Friday night. The only word I have for that is, WOW! I got most of my girlie Christmas shopping done without spending a dime with all the free goods I earned. That was a bonus.

I'm reading over my post and realizing that today really should be a good day. Lots of good stuff has happened. Not having coffee today is not part of the good stuff. Sigh...

Part Two of Stretchin' da Budget

Thank you all for your comments yesterday! You bless me. I appreciate your encouraging words and suggestions. I'll try to address some of them in this post.

Yesterday I started off with what I'm already trying to do to keep our budget down.

Today I'll share what our family is going to try doing.

We are a family of beef eaters. So, I tend to buy quite a bit of hamburger. I used to buy hamburger from Costco in the freezer section. You can get 5 lbs. of 91/9 hamburger for about $13, I think. They come in 1 lb chubs and I loved this. Even though it's a pretty inexpensive way to buy hamburger, right now I'm just not able to buy meat in bulk.

Since I'm needing to cut back on how much hamburger we're eating I'm going to be using a half pound of hamburger when a recipe calls for 1 lb.

I've been reading on ways to stretch hamburger and one way I read was a woman would add some oatmeal to it. Weird, huh? I know! I'll let you know how that goes.

Yesterday I told you that when I first enter the grocery store I head to the meat section, I do. I also first head to the clearanced meat. This is where meat that needs to be used or frozen quickly is marked down sometimes up to 75% off. I love this section of the store! I know Winco and Safeway do it, I haven't shopped enough at Wal Mart to know if they do. I haven't ever seen meat marked down there and I'm just not a fan of Wal Mart meat in the first place. I think I'll continue to check Safeway for clearanced meat.

We already eat quite a few meals that have beans in them but usually they have beans and meat. I f a recipe calls for both, I'll be omitting the meat portion. I would like to start having three meatless dishes per week. I believe if it's a heartier meal we won't miss the hamburger or chicken. I want to start buying more beans and finding some yummy recipes using them. The protein in them is excellent and they are so inexpensive! And ya know...this household needs more beans! :)

To drink at our house is basically milk or water. If we're having company I will occasionally buy soda but now that I'm trying to actually stick to a budget, that may not happen very often. Since we go through a lot of milk and milk's not cheap these days I'm going to take Gayle's advice (again!) by supplementing with part milk, part powdered milk. I'm not really looking forward to it but I'm pretty much willing to try anything at least once. With the exception of illegal drugs, of course. ;) Most illegal drugs, anyway...

I've noticed I drink more water if I put ice in it. I don't care for water much but it's basically free and it's good for me. Amazing how God works that out, huh?

Kristie had asked yesterday if my budget included toothpaste, tampons and stuff like that. I am going to try. The other night I bought toothpaste at the dollar store. The dollar store is tricky. It's easy to think everything is a deal there but you gotta watch. There were four different brands of toothpaste, all of which were...a dollar. However, one brand was 4.6 oz, two others were 6.4 oz. and then the one I bought is 7.2 oz. So I got a few extra oz. for my buck. As for tampons, I haven't had to use those in a year and a half so I completely forgot about those! That's a benefit of nursing!!! After I had Jaylee it was nine months before my period returned (tmi?) so if it comes back around the same time I still have a couple months of not worrying about it. I need to check the dollar store on those!

Okay...as far as toilet paper. This is where some of you may freak out just a bit. :) I still kinda am myself. Bear with me and brace yourself. I had mentioned corn cobs, remember? And Jeana left a comment saying maybe family cloth would be a better try. So, I started researching family cloth. Ever heard of it? I hadn't.

Family cloth is basically cloth toilet paper. Crazy, huh? I KNOW! Some families are doing it for the green effect. Others for cost. And still others for both. For us it's about the cost but it does make me feel good knowing I'm at least doing something to help our environment.

I'll link you to a couple of articles about it and you can check it out if you wish. But I'll tell you a little about how we're doing it. I read that the easiest way to start is just cotton t-shirts. They don't fray after they've been cut and they are absorbent. Plus, most families have some t-shirts they could do without and if not, thrift stores or yard sales are a great place to find inexpensive ones. The lady suggested 5x5 squares. So, that's what I did with the first shirt. I'm going to do 6x6 the next time. I have also just seen some women making them out of flannel and stitching them real cute. I might try that.

So, we have these squares sitting by the toilet. A bucket with a lid. And once we use one, we put it in the bucket. Now, let me just tell you that today I will be buying toilet paper. For our guests and for #2. I'm not that hardcore, yet. Seem weird? It still does to me but the lady had a good point, if your child wet the bed or his/her pants you wash, dry and reuse, right? And that's true. I guess the cloth t.p. is no different. It's something we've been doing for two days now. Jaylee loves it. She thinks it's so cool to put it in the bucket and she's very proud that she remembers not to put it in the toilet. For me, I'm still trying to adjust. I guess I'm just excited about the savings.

How does Josh feel about it? His first response was, "how much overtime do I need to work so we can afford t.p.?" LOL! I assured him he didn't have to use it and that made him feel better. He also asked if there were other areas we could cut back instead of there and I'm sure we could but why not try them all and have it add up to a significant savings? He agreed.

Link One.
Link Two.

I know the family cloth seems a bit extreme. Something I'm learning though, you have to do what works for your family. And if a family is doing something I deem weird it's usually because I haven't tried it out for myself. I want to be more open minded when it comes to trying new things, whether I'm trying it or someone else is.

Now that you want to run.... :)

Another area that we have control of spending is the amount of driving we do. Gas prices have fallen and for that we're thankful but it doesn't mean we can just drive wherever whenever. Unfortunately. We go to church in Yakima, which is about a 40 mile drive for us. So we have at least 80 miles on Sunday morning, then we go to Trevor and Megan's for evening church in Grandview about 10 miles from our house. So, on Sundays alone we have at least 100 miles. Our goal has always been one tank (20 gallons) per paycheck. Somehow we just have not stuck to that! It's ridiculous to think that we drive more than 400 miles in two weeks.

There's really no reason for it other than I get bored at home and just decide to drive. I've noticed the more I'm away from home, the more I spend. I am going to start planning a day of the week that I run my errands so I do everything in one shot. Post office, library, grocery store and a visit to friends. I think this will help with me not spending money on random stuff and it will also be less gas driving around.

Christmas is coming. I love Christmas. I love to give gifts. This year I was very close to just telling our families we wouldn't be buying gifts for anyone. I couldn't do it though. But I also knew I couldn't put gifts on credit card anymore. Josh and I have decided this year our girls will each get one gift, probably worth $15, possibly less. We won't be buying gifts for each other this year. And the gifts for the rest of our family will be in the $5 range. Is it weird to say that I'm more excited for Christmas this year than I have been in years? I think part of it is that I'm excited to make some of my gifts, part of it is knowing I'm not going further in to debt and the other part is that Christmas will be more about CHRISTmas. More of Christ.

I have some more ideas floating around on how to spend less but I feel this post is getting extremely long and I wouldn't want you to fall asleep at the wheel. :)

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Feel free!

Part Uno of Stretchin' da Budget

Here and there I've talked about the ways I go about grocery shopping or skimping on stuff so that I can have coffee.

Here is one about my Menu Managment and here's the one on the corn cobs. I'm not resorting to the corn cobs just yet, though I have decided on a solution for our family in that area.

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine from high school who stops by my blog (hi, NJK!) sent me a message on MySpace asking how I get my groceries for the price I do.

First off...I don't. Or, at least I haven't. The main reason, I just wasn't trying very hard. Another reason, was that the last time I shopped, it was a Friday evening in Wal Mart. *shiver*

I don't know how many parts to this Stretchin' da Budget I'll have. But this is the first. And I'm hoping I don't make a jumbled mess out of it. And, if there's something I'm doing wrong and oh, I'm sure there is, please leave a comment and let me know what's working for you. We're in this together.

Where to start?!

I guess the best place would be the budgeting part of the groceries. I've looked over our income *more shivering* and I'ma thinkin' that I'd like to have our groceries at about $150 per month. That's roughly $35 per week. Some of you are shaking your head. QUIT IT! It's totally possible! Gayle feeds her family of six for about $60 a week. Right now, she's my hero.

Figure out what works for your family for a grocery budget.

Moving on...

Another step I've taken that my husband laughed at but later appreciated...I decided to take some extra time at the grocery store one day and map out the store. I mapped it out as I usually shop. So, if you find yourself backtracking at the store pretty often trying to figure out if you got everything on your list, this is super helpful. It's very rare that I have to backtrack for anything now. When I make out my shopping list it's in order of the layout of the store. I think I've cut down my trip by about 15-20 minutes. I work my way around the store by starting in the meat section and follow the store all the way around to the produce and then I go down all of the aisles.

If you decide to do this, take pen and paper and be prepared that your next trip will take longer. Maybe map out the store when you aren't going to shop so that you aren't trying to do too many things at once. Key is to not be overwhelmed. Grocery shopping is probably one of my favorite things to do. I find it relaxing and fun now that I have order to it. It's probably the only area of my life that's organized. Stop laughing, Treena!

The Menu!

I love cookbooks. I love blogs that share recipes. I love magazines with recipes. It's wonderful when it's time to plan the menu!

The first thing I do is check the fridge, freezer, cupboards and pantry for the items I have on hand. I check out the sales ads for what's on sale. And kinda make a mental note. An example...I know I have tomatoes, black beans, salsa, cheese and onions so I know that I'm fairly close to having all the ingredients to make Tortilla Black Bean Casserole. So, I check the ads to see if Tortillas and peppers are on sale. If they are, woo hoo! If not, then most likely I'll pass up that recipe and find something else to use my ingredients for. It's important to incorporate the ingredients you already have into your menu plan so that you aren't overloading your cupboards with food you aren't using.

Back to the sales ads. Sales ads are good but they can also tempt you to buy things you wouldn't normally use but buy anyway just because it's on sale. When I see deals like that, on things I don't really need but ooooh, it's on sale! I just say, "away from me, Satan!" Okay, not really. But I do have to restrain myself sometimes from buying things, and this isn't just groceries. Pretty much anything that's on sale I make up in my head all the things I neeeed it for. But then I look at the ol' checkbook and she laughs at me.

So, just because something is on sale, doesn't mean you have to buy it!

If you're needing new ideas for dinner, check out Gayle on Fridays. She hosts the Grocery Cart Challenge Recipe Swap where I've found some really good dinner ideas that were fairly inexpensive.

The Grocery List!

This is going to be key to keeping my budget at $35 per week. I need to stick to my list! It's so easy to think "ooooh, but I neeeed that!" When really, it's just a want. While I'm figuring out my menu I'm scribbling on a piece of paper the ingredients I need. When it's time to make out the list, I go by the Store Layout when I write the master list, the one I take to the store. Backtrack No More! The list is in accordance to the layoutthus eliminating running back to aisle 7 for the can of soup.

So, how do I plan to keep my bill low?

Some things I'm already doing:

I'm not buying soda and rarely do I buy juice. If I do buy juice, I dilute it immensely.

We like snacks but I don't really buy them. Snacks are spendy. Packaged food in general is expensive. For snacks, we buy popcorn and use our Stir Crazy popper. I buy Jaylee graham crackers which aren't cheap but that's her main treat.

I don't buy chips unless it's Doritos for Taco Salad. Chips are expensive and loaded with stuff that's not good for us. This can be hard because sometimes chips just sound sooo good! If I'm going to buy chips, it's tortilla chips. But again, I don't do it often.

We've really been trying not to eat out as often. Man, this is a hard habit to break. We are SO good letting other people serve us food and clean up after us! When we eat out I've noticed it's nights when I haven't planned dinner or I'm just being lazy. I want eating out to become a treat to us instead of something we take for granted.

I'm trying to think of other things I do but I'm realizing there isn't much. Maybe more will come to me later. I dunno. That's a list of what I do now.

Tomorrow I'll share the new things we're going to be trying. I know Treena and Kristie are thinking I'm nuts. :) I've shared with them one area we're changing. It's pretty drastic I guess but exciting.

See ya tomorrow!

The Choice is Mine

Watching the election last night had me pacing.

I was pacing my living room. I'm surprised I didn't burn holes in my carpet. I'd check the computer, watch the television, stir dinner...

Lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

It wasn't a good night in our household. I'm the more vocal spouse (shocked, aren't you) about how I've been feeling about this election. Josh just takes it all in and doesn't say much. And that makes me insane. When we sat down for dinner last night he turned the television off. That made me a little crazy but I understood his point. Dinner time is family time, election or not.

Tuesday morning Alison woke up at 5 am. As I sat to feed her, I could hear the rain pouring down. In that moment I knew Obama would win the election. I feel the Lord was weeping. Weeping for what America is to become. Weeping for the unborn children that will have no chance at life. Weeping that our freedoms will no longer be.

All day yesterday I was living in fear. And going to bed last night, I'll be honest...I panicked. Josh didn't say much. But he did say this, "We have nothing to fear, God is our Commander in Chief. In Him we don't need to fear."

I cried myself to sleep last night. Josh's words were a comfort but still I was fearful.

This morning I'm more calm.

If you've been feeling the same way, here are some verses I'm choosing to hold on to.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is my strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." II Timothy 1:7

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." I John 4:4

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house were many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:1-3

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

Just to name a few.

I am choosing to be excited. I'm excited for African Americans around our country, this is an awesome time for them. I'm excited that this election has spurred me to no longer sit on my faith but to embrace it. I cannot be a lukewarm Christian. And I'm pretty sure that's what I've been. A friend of mine sent me a message on MySpace telling me the urgency she now feels for her young daughter. Agreed. There is an urgency in me as well.

It's time I let my family, my friends, my husband, my children know that I choose Jesus. I choose to serve Him. I choose to trust Him.

And I choose not to live in a spirit of fear.

The post where I may lose some readers

.... Emily's comment on this post made me decide to edit my post...I agree with her, I'm not religion-clinging I'm Jesus clinging. Especially during this time.

It's all negative, I'd skip over this post if I were you

Frustrated.

Josh's dumb company decided to switch up our health insurance policy smack dab in the middle of the calendar year so now my deductible has not been met even though I've had a stinkin' baby and have paid out a lot of money. This means I just have to pay out even more money. No biggie, we're loaded.

Baby number two. She'll be six months old tomorrow. SIX MONTHS! And is still, I repeat still not sleeping through the night. Am I picking her up, feeding her, pacifying her? YES! They share a room, I don't know what else to do. I don't want her disturbing Jaylee's sleep. I don't know what to do. But at six months she should be sleeping through the night. I don't wanna compare my kids to each other but one of them slept through the night before six weeks of age and the other has yet to do that!!

I'm frustrated with myself. So many lessons I should have learned so long ago but haven't. Discipline where money is involved. It's always that. I just shake my head at myself and I know the Lord is probably wondering if I'll ever learn. Okay, He's not wondering. He already knows. I'm wondering if I'll ever learn.

Daylight savings time and falling back. Oh the glorious extra hour of sleep. HA!!! Maybe when the kids are teenagers I'll know what an extra hour of sleep is like. Right now, they're just up an hour earlier.

Sigh.

The election tomorrow...just not gonna go there.

Okay. I think I'm done now. you're welcome.

Good Questions, Peeps!

Emily asks, "What is your husbands best trait. Also, what would he say YOURS was. :)

This is really funny. Well, it's not but it is. Before I get to the funny part, I'll tell you Josh's best trait. And I don't think I can list just one.

Josh has the most amazing work ethic. He's usually the first to arrive and the last to leave. He works hard. And his hands show it. He's the first one called, whether it's my family or his that needs help with something. Like exit numbers. My sister Megan called and got herself lost a few months ago, she called Josh and explained to him where she was. He knew exactly where she was and gave her the exact exit number she needed to take to get home. A couple years in a semi and I guess you just remember all the numbers. He's kind and considerate. He's the most amazing daddy ever. I really like the guy.

As for the second part...what would he say mine was. I said to him last night, "Emily wants to know what my best trait is." His response, "Hmm, yeah, I don't know." I'm gonna let him off the hook and say that there are just so many that I have, he couldn't think of just one! :)

Amber's questions. Or...Amber's daughter's questions.

What's google? (love that she can read) Ryleigh, Google is the place your Mommy goes to when she doesn't know where I am. Like the other night, with Francine Rivers, she googled 'er and found out where I was going. Your mom's quick like that.

Where's Josh? Josh is at work...sigh...

Do you have a brother? I always wanted one but was stuck with two sisters instead. :) My dad bought me a boy cabbage patch doll so I could have a brother. Really I think he bought it because it looked like him, dark curly hair. Except the cabbage patch doll didn't have a mullet.

Kristie's questions, which cracked me up, were...First of all (said in my mom voice) why are there three blogs and I only know of two? Second, who did you vote for?:)

I meant there were three posts I had started, not three blogs. Sorry, my bad. :) You know of both of my blogs! I promise, mom. ;)

As for your second question, I voted for McCain/Palin. I sent my ballot in as soon as it came. This is the first time I've really gotten into an election. Up until a few nights ago, I've been worried sick over the election. Helllooo, I just need to trust Jesus about this. He's gotta plan! I think my pastor's wife said it best a couple weeks ago at Bible Study. She didn't say names, but ya knew who she was taking about. She said something along the lines of, "if one of them gets in, that Jesus will just be coming back four years sooner. And that if the other gets in, we're given four more years to get our country back on track to have revival in our land." I will be on my knees on Tuesday, November 4th. I hope everyone of you are, too!

Barb's questions Did I miss a post about "decisions" in 6 days? And are you having another baby soon? ;)

Nope, you didn't miss a post about those decisions. Josh's company hasn't said one thing about his contract being up. We're okay with this at the moment. He can leave if he wants, so that's what we're excited about. He still has a job for the moment, so we're excited about that, too. :) The other day Josh and I were listening to the radio at the same time and heard a pastor on CSN (calvary satellite network) what he had to say was very encouraging. Think I'll post about it next week. For now though, Josh is staying put.
And another baby?!?! pffft. :) Alison will be six months old next week. Is it normal to have days where you want to put that lil white jacket on so you can hug yourself but also think you want more kids? That's where I am right now. I don't want to say no to having more, but some of these sleep deprived days make me wonder...

Wow. This was a long post! Didja make it through?! Thanks for giving me something to write about. I 'preciate it.

I need a favor.

Please.

I'm going to give you a link to a website I love. I posted it last week, too. But I'm posting again, it's that important.

Please go to this website and follow the super simple favor Amy Beth asks. It's a Microsoft download. And if you don't like it, you can uninstall it, easy as that. Just downloading it helps out Amy Beth's ministry for young girls.

And if you do it, leave a comment on her post. You'll be entered in to win a $25 Starbucks gift card. Don't like coffee? Then use it as a Christmas gift for someone.

Like me.

Here's the link.

Me? Without words?

I've started three separate posts. None of which make any sense.

Blah blah blah.

I'm in a blogging funk.

I hate that.

So, let's play the game we played before when I went through this.

You ask me questions. I answer them. Ready. Set.

GO!

Because I'm Lame

So tonight I got to meet the Francine Rivers. No, really. I did!!!

Erica and I get there and we realize she's signing books.

Duh.

Except that I didn't bring any of her books with me to sign. I couldn't justify buying one of the books I'd already read just to have her sign it. However, if the funds had been present in my wallet, I so woulda.

But they weren't.

So, Erica being the brilliant girl that she is decides we should have Francine (yeah, first name basis) sign our tickets.

We get in line. I'm considering putting my hands under my armpits, 'cause that's what everyone does when they get nervous, right? It's almost my turn. Oh, man.

And then it's my turn and I don't know what to say and all that comes out is, "Hi, I'm lame. I only have my ticket for you to sign." She smiled. Signed my ticket. And I'm sure in her head she's thinking I'm a real winner.

Why do I post for you to see my retardness? I don't know. See how much I love you guys?!

And a couple more pictures

The boys with their girls.

Alison and me by the bridge that made me want to vomit. Hate bridges! Alison doesn't look like she's too thrilled with them either. :)

Thank you, Denise, for emailing me pictures!

Did I tell ya that I get to see Francine Rivers tonight?!

She's the author of some of my favorite books. Mark of the Lion trilogy. Redeeming Love. The Atonement Child.

I can't wait!!! She's the speaker at a benefit I'm going to for Life Options.

4 and a half hours!!!

Unrealistic Grocery Expectations?

Maybe.

But that's what makes it all the more fun.

Josh got paid today, thank You, Lord! and so I'm going to be spending it all on coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

Scratch the last bit of that last sentence.

Ahem.

I'm in the process of trying to make out my menu and my grocery list. I've gone through my freezer, fridge *shiver*, pantry and cupboards. I know what I have. It's pretty easy since it's just about nothing. And I know what I don't have. Which is mostly everything. :)

Of course it's come down to us being out of all the big stuff like laundry detergent, diapers, toilet paper...all that jazz. Just that stuff alone at Costco would cost me around $70 bucks. Yuck.

Where can I cut back? What can we go without?

I've tried making my own laundry detergent, I think Josh just gets too dirty at work for that stuff to work for us, I didn't feel his clothes came clean. I don't know what to do different there.

Diapers, I'm thinking after she dirtys (dirties?) one, I'll just rinse it and wring it and slap it back on 'er. Whaddya think? Dialing child protective services as we speak, huh? I buy diapers at Costco. They cost me $40 and the box lasted her about a month and a half. Thinking I'll just continue to get them there even though it's a big expense. She'll be crawling soon, I'll put her to work to earn those diapers!

Toilet paper...it seems like something we can't go without but Josh's nana said they used to use corn cobs. What makes our behinds so much better that we have to use soft fluffy paper? Maybe this is something we could go without. Can you start sending me your corn cobs? Thankyousomuch.

My "plan" is to get my groceries for two weeks worth of food for $60. Then the other junk for about $40-60. All in all spending around 100-120 on food and diapers. Dumb dumb diapers. We'll be eating more beans and rice in the next coupla weeks than we have in awhile. You may not want to visit for a bit.

I'll letcha know when the coast is clear. Coast/air...whichev.

I think I'll keep her 'round.

My recent favorite sayings from my favorite three year old.

While at a wedding last weekend, she's sitting on Josh's lap, I have the baby...

"Mommy, can Daddy hold Ali, so I can hold you?"

While in the kitchen, coloring at the table...

"Excuse me, sir, Alison is crying."

It's naptime, I tell her to go potty...

"But I just went yesterday."

Today, she was sitting in her little chair and she asked me to sit on her lap. I sat at her feet instead; laid my head in her lap and she just ran her little grubby fingers over my face and in my hair. Then she tells me, "Mommy, I love you, too."

Oh, sweet girl, how did you know I was thinking it?

Miracles still happen

This may seem so trivial to some but that's okay, I'll share anyway.

Our last paycheck was on the 10th. 12 days ago. It was one of those paychecks that as soon as it was in the account, it was gone. Dumb mortgage anyway.

We've been trying so very hard to not go into our overdraft and just wait until payday for the stuff we need. Like diapers, butter, milk, gas...you know the stuff. Actual needs. Not just Starbucks. :)

Last weekend we left town with 27 bucks in cash. My SIL drove, so we didn't have to pay for gas right then, and I'd already set aside money for our motel. We got coffees and some candy while we were there and some french fries a salad and some sodas while we were gone too. We came back with four dollars in cash.

My van has this nifty little deal that tells you how many miles you have until empty. This morning as I drove to my doctor's appt. it was reading "0 Miles to Empty."

Bugger.

Josh told me to go put a few dollars in. I cringed. The 7 bucks in our account I wanted to save until payday, just so I could say I went an entire week without coffees or any other spending. But I'm just so obedient to my husband shud it that I was headed to the gas station. The needle under the red line. The little display thing still reading, "0 Miles to Empty." When I hear a ding. I look at my gas gauge. The light has gone off. And the display reads, " 41 Miles to Empty."

Seriously.

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the gas gauge told me so.

S'all Good

Results were clear. Thank you for praying. :)

I'll go in again in February and at that time it'll have been two years since my surgery. Crazy that it's already been that long. Once I hit the two year mark I only have to go in every six months. That'll be nice.

I saw my third grade teacher in the waiting room. She came up to me and said, "hi, Sarah! My, you look like you have your hands full." Guess the three year old and 5 month old gave me away.

But what I want to know is how, after 20 years she still remembers my name? Have I really not changed at all?!

Our Weekend

Love that her tongue is sticking out!
Yep, that's the hotty husband.
My sisters-in-law. They are barefoot. I'm in heels.
The four of us!

It's for a good cause...and because I'm in desperate need of coffee!

On my sidebar is a link to Amy Beth's blog. If you haven't been over to her blog, you are missing out.

Missing.

Out.

This girl is amazing. She's young and she's talented. She's beautiful, inside and out. She has a love for all things pink and Shamu. And in the last few months of reading her blog I'm inspired by her passion for young girls.

She has a ministry called Starlite. Right now she's trying to raise fundage (yes, a made up Sarah word) for Starlite and processed nacho cheese.

Please check out her post that lets us know how we can help. And after you do all that you can to help and really it's a super easy way to help, lurk her archives and you'll fall in love with this girl and her ministry too.

Yes, there's something in this post for me. I'm now entered in to win a $25 Starbucks gift card!!! You can be, too. Head over there. Hurry. Now. Do it! Don't like coffee, don't like Starbucks, that's okay...if you win, you can give it to me. I'll letcha.

Lab Work

You'd think after a year and a half, I wouldn't get all nervous like. But I do. Gives me chills. I go in tomorrow for my routine lab work for the 'ol cancer screening.

Wouldja mind prayin'?

The Redneckishness never ends

So a couple weekends ago, we decided to try to up our redneck ways.

My husband had a birthday. His 31st. Don't tell him I told you, he's a lil panicked about the whole ordeal. If you ask his age, he'd like to tell you 17 but he'll probably tell you 25.

We had almost as many people over as Josh was turning in years. We were one short.

30 peeps.

Thirty.

In my house.

I have a couch, a chair and another chair. Not so much on the furniture for people to sit. Oh, how the husband had another lightbulb moment. Not a bug zapper moment but close enough.

If you've been reading for long I think I've posted about some leather furniture we own. And some cloth furniture as well.

Deep sigh.

Josh decided we should bring our other furniture upstairs so our guests would have places to sit. So...this is where I'm totally embarrassed...he brings up the leather seat, out of a '72 Cadillac and another bench seat out of a GMC and yet another bench seat out of our '85 Suburban.

Out of 30 people I believe 10 of them were children.
This would be our leather furniture. Our friend Carlos, Josh's brother Caleb, Caleb's wife Denise and their sweet little girl.

And the seat out of the GMC with Dale, a family friend, Dale's wife Mandy and their son. If you look closely, you can see my aunt is buckled in for safety. It's that wild at our house.

And because I don't talk or post about her too often...a picture of my sister Megan and me.

Isn't she pretty? I love her. We won't talk about the fact that she's six years younger and way taller than me. :)

Some blatherings, more so than normal.

Dear Diary is on hiatus, did you notice? Didn't think so.

At this very moment my baby girl is sucking on Shadow's paw. Uh huh, she is. Stop her! Naaa, dirt builds immunities. We like immunities.

I lay her on one area of the carpet, turn around, and find her completely across the room. Five months old and already on the go. I really love this baby. She brings the most amazing joy to our family.

Our sweet older daughter...oh my goodness. This girl. Still, mouth wide open for pictures. I have a love/hate for the pictures she's been taking lately. I know she'll grow out of it. I know I could tell her to smile nice. But part of me, the part that wants to just let her be a little girl, says what the heck...just let her smile like a moron. I mean that in the most loving motherly way, of course. There's the part of me that just wants the nice picture though!

As I type, Shadow has moved away from the baby and has decided to roll around the way the baby does. I think he knows I think she's cute and he wants to be cute too. Dorky dog. I do love him but his hair drives me up the wall. It's all over. I love to vacuum but I used to do it every 3 days, now I must do it every gosh darn day!

My husband's contract with his company is up in 6 days. The manager of the store believes they'll come to him with an offer. Josh is trying to decide if he wants to stay there or not. We just have other aspirations. I guess we'll see in six days.

The colder weather is welcomed. It's weird to wear socks and tennies and not my flips. My feet almost didn't know what to do being all covered up. The thing about Fall that I don't enjoy-we have trees. Trees with big leaves. Big leaves that like to fall out of trees. That part blows. hehe I don't enjoy the raking of leaves. "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. Find the fun and snap! the job's a game!" Ya gotta love Mary Poppins. Guess I'll try to make leaf raking fun.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart in the last couple of weeks. Josh said to me a couple of days ago that I haven't been myself lately. I don't know how to describe it. I was trying to tell my SIL about it some but the words just don't come out right. I'm slacking in many areas of my life. My faith, my wifely-ness, my mothering and my relationships. I am an all or nothing kinda girl. Mostly nothing. Seriously. I get on these kicks and I'm totally stoked about something and if I fail at whatever I'm trying to do, whether it be daily devotions, making breakfast for Josh, consistent parenting, being a good friend...if I slip, I want to give up trying altogether. What's the point of doing any of it, if I can't do it all? And especially if I can't do it all perfectly. Thus, is the way my thoughts tend to go. It's not right. I know that. But it doesn't change that that's where I am.

I was up at 1 a.m. this morning. Up as in, out of my bed, sitting on the couch up. Bible in my lap. Asking the Lord to just show me. Help me. Something.

Nothing.

Or maybe I just didn't hear. I don't know. So, I go back to bed. Tossed. Turned. And realized, I haven't repented. I haven't asked Him to forgive me in the areas I'm slacking. So, I did. I just laid it out there. I fell asleep quickly.

The next three hours were pretty good hours of sleep. I woke up excited. I'm going to try again. Try harder. And try with His help, His strength. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And oh, how I'm weak.

My posts may be more sporadic as I figure some stuff out.

Stick with me, I'll be around.

Fruit fly update because I know you're all dying to know who gets the gift card

No one seemed too excited about the Starbucks gift card, I must be the only Starbucks crazed chick around these blogging parts.

Thank you to all of you who commented or sent messages to me via MySpace. ;)

So far, the cone seems to be working! Thank you, Jeana! Sadly, I had to have her pretty much draw me a picture of what she was talking about. I need pictures, I'm not very good at following directions written down.

I have about 8 of those little nasty guys that have found themselves inside of the trap. I have six or seven more just lingering on the cone. They will go in, they will!

zI tried the apple cider vinegar with plastic wrap, they loved it. But I think I must have some really smart lil fruit flies because they just decided to hang out and chat. They never went in the holes. So, I made the holes bigger. Nope, no work-y either. This cone deal seems to be the trick.

Jeana, if you aren't afraid to receive yearly Christmas cards and chain letters about sending 10 dish towels and receiving 37 in return, email me your address and I'll send you the gift card. Thank you for the emails...with pictures. :) I double stuff pink puffy heart you at this moment.

Oh, and you also get this award. No need to thank me.

Fruit Flies, they bother me

I'm embarrassed to even write about this but I'm hoping that in doing so, someone, one of you blessed peeps will be able to help a sista out.

My house, mainly the kitchen, is fruit fly infested. Tons of them. All. Over. The. Place! Going crazy. Not sure what to do. I went to the local farm store here and bought a fly strip dealie thinking that might take care of my problem. Eh...not so much. It did attract a few of them but certainly not enough!

So, anyone out there with some amazing remedy for me?

Let's make 'er interesting. The person who leaves a comment with the most amazing, best working solution...Starbucks gift card. For an entire 5 bucks! Hey, it's one free coffee and all ya gots ta do is tell me how to effectively get rid of these dumb bugs!

in case you don't get your comments via email

Lately I've been lurking some "friend's" archives (Corie) and wasn't sure if she (you) were getting them.

I know that when I started my junk blog I wasn't getting my comments emailed to me because I forgot to set it up. So.

If you check your blog to check your comments, there's an easier way, folks! (Thank you, Kristie, for teaching me how to do this a coupla years ago.)

Go to your dashboard.

Go to settings.

Fourth tab over should be Comments.

Scroll to the bottom and it says Comment Notification Email.

Put in your email address and BAM! Your comments will be sent to you.

Another feature I really like is when a commenter has an email address. If they comment, it's sent to my email and then I can see their email address. Some folks don't have this set up, either because they don't wanna (I can understand) or just didn't know thatcha could.

So, if you're the latter....

To have your email address visible and mind you it's not visible on the comment page just when the comment is sent to the blog administrator, in this case...moi.

Go to dashboard.

Edit Profile.

3 boxes down should say Show my email address. Check it.

Save.

Now JSYK (just so you know)...your email address will be visible on your blog, if you have one.

This has never been an issue for me with anyone. I've not had any freak-o's or whatev. But I understand if someone doesn't want to do this. My experience with it has been great. There are some folks that when I left a comment on their blog replied to my comment through an email. Also, there are times I don't want to take up someones entire comment page, so I'll just send an email.

I like it. It's worked for me. And maybe it's something you wanna do. Anywho, just thought I'd pass that on to anyone who might be just as computer illiterate as me!

Loves!

She didn't eat it!

In the past month I've witnessed a 9 year old pick and eat her boogers.

In the past month while driving my car I've witnessed an adult male pick and eat his boogers. No joke, man, no stinkin' joke.

In the past month I had a friend tell me about their child picking and eating her boogers.

In the past 20 seconds my little girl says, "ew, uh boooooger!" she holds up her finger and is panic stricken.

I tell her to get a tissue and wipe it off. She walks to the bathroom with her finger held out in front of her.

Proud moment. It really was.

*Wiping a tear*

Pictures from our Trip to Portland

Jaylee was very close to throwing Treena the normal 3 year old smile she's been so good at lately.

I love him. After 12 years of being together, 10 of those being married years, I just really really like him.


I can't get enough of her cheeks. Love 'em.
It only looks like Alison was drinking Josh's coffee, she wasn't really. I promise. We're going to wait til she's at least a year before we get her addicted to that. :)

Thinking about placing a call to Jeff Foxworthy

Last weekend we attempted to get more done on our fence. Yeah, we're still not done with that project. Josh likes to wear him some overalls when he does work outside. He looks mighty cute in them.

I went outside and he has one strap just hanging. It reminded me of junior high when it was cool to only strap one side of your overalls. Yes, I'm reminded how that wasn't too long ago but it does feel like a lifetime.

I wanted to make fun of him but before I could he showed me that the thing had broke and wouldn't stay clipped.

Then a lightbulb went off in his little head and off he went to his shop.

Where he proceeded to weld his overalls together. While he was still wearing them.

Seriously, folks.

Our redneckishness doesn't end there. Oh, how I wish it did.

This last Saturday I was really wanting some quality time with my man. I didn't get it in the form I wanted it (no children) but we still managed to have fun. As a side note, let me just say, I do love my children but there are times where I don't want to cut up pieces of food, wipe noses, remind about manners and how it's rude to interrupt and please won't you just learn how to fend for yourself.

Side note over.

So.

It's about 6:30 on Saturday night we head to Safeway, ravenously hungry (not a good idea, peeps, not a good idea) we proceed to spend $73.42 on one meal.

I kid you not.

In my head I'm thinking for 73 smacks I coulda had someone make the food for me and then clean up after me but oh this will be so fun to go home and make a mess of my nice clean kitchen and then I get to make the yummy food and clean again.

*jumping up and down clapping like a moron*

But the husband, oh, the husband. "I think we should just stay home and not go out. If we go out we'll just spend a bunch of money. We should just stay home and not spend money."

Silly man.

Okay, back to our redneckishness. Stay with me folks.

Finally, finally it's time to eat. The husband wants to make it all romantic. Candlelight romantic if you will. However we have no way to light said candles.

Again, a lightbulb goes off for the husband.

So, we ate by bugzapperlight. Uh huh, a bug zapper. In my kitchen.

Oh, the romantic glow.

That really sets the mood.

Sometimes I'm the one in need of a swift kick

My husband has the day off today.

Isn't that great?! Um, no.

He's not spending it with me. I know, poor me, huh? You could dish out some sympathy ya know?

Since he's been gone today, I decided to have a huge party in my honor. I'm sorry you weren't invited but I didn't know how many would really want to attend my Pity Party.

Seriously folks, I've moped all day long, because we know how much moping gets accomplished. I've been feeling sorry for myself that I never get a day off. That I don't get to call in sick. Poor me, blah blah blah.

Such is the life I've chosen for myself being a SAHMama. Most days except those that end in Y I really don't mind my "job". Most days I'm glad I'm home with these heathenblessings. Days like today though, days that I've chosen to be a snot, are days I'm resentful, days that I get absolutely nothing done because I figure if he's not workin' I'm not workin' either.

So neener neener.

I'm so grown up. I'm sure I make my mother proud.

Okay, so I'm bitter that he's taken this day off to spend elsewhere. We won't discuss that he's actually working very hard up in the mountains chopping wood for our home to be warm this winter, we're going to pretend he's off racing cars and drinking beer and talkin' boy talk with his manly friends.

Yep, that's what I've made up in my mind as to what he's doing.

I want him to take a day off to spend with *gasp* ME. What a concept, huh? I want. I want. I want.

What have you done for him recently?

Ignoring that still small voice. Not really in the mood to hear Him.

What have you done for Me recently?

Oh, sure, bust out Your big guns. I see how You roll.

I'm here, aren't I?! He has clean clothes, food on the table, and my beautiful smiling face, what more could the man ask for?!

You're willingness.

But I don't wanna.

And that ended my conversation with Him.

For the moment.

Then I read this post and I'm having a bit of an attitude adjustment. Just a bit. Maybe if I gave my husband his desires, he'd take a day off to spend with me. Maybe not, but maybe so.

Like Jess says, I can only change me.

And some diapers too...

What might make my headache better

Totally kidding, of course. I know that these wouldn't make my headache better, in fact by morning, I'm sure I'd feel worse.

But for the moment, it sounds delightful! :)

This was a picture my would be/could be BFF, Ericka took the night of the reunion. No worries, I didn't drink either one. But it was mighty tempting, you know, if I liked Budweiser and red wine. Which I don't, so bummer for me!

The end of Summer

Ahhh. It's peaceful in my house at the moment. Duct tape works wonders when you want your children to be quiet.

It's chilly here this morning. It feels refreshing. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm almost always cold. I like to be warm. A perfect day to me would be like 87 degrees. I think it's in the 50's at the moment.

I do like to be warm but I am very ready for Fall. We didn't have a very hot Summer but the heat we did have seemed to last longer than normal.

With summer coming to an end so are evenings like the one I witnessed last week.

Jaylee asked her daddy to swing her. "Not you, Mommy. You hold Ali, okay?" Sigh..."okay." Josh was busy. He's trying to get stuff done outside. But he never denies her requests for some playtime. He's never too busy for her.

I look outside from our large front window. I have a perfect view of that ugly swingset he built for her. They're holding hands. They both look very serious. He buckles her in. She's holding on tight. A smile starts to play across her face.

And she's up. Up into the trees.

He swings her so high it scares me. But she won't allow me to swing her because I can't put her in the trees. She loves it.

I wander into the kitchen, cleaning up here and there. A few minutes later I head back to the window. She's no longer in the trees but in her daddy's lap. Her little arms are wrapped around his neck, her long legs dangling. She's nuzzling into his neck. His back is to me but I can feel him smiling and see that his eyes are closed as he savors these sweet moments with her.

So, our summer evenings may be coming to an end but that moment will be in my heart forever.

I could not have asked the Lord for a more amazing daddy for my girls than Joshua. At his busiest, he has all the time in the world for them.

A link I don't really care to give.

My weigh in for the week is over here.

You really don't have to go over there.

Really.

It's just some bad bad news.

Tonka Trucks are easier to dress than babies

This just in...

The husband comes out holding the youngest child like a sack of potatoes.

I asked him to change her diaper and then told him she needed her jammies.

"I didn't play will dolls growing up, I played with Tonka Trucks! You don't have to dress Tonka Trucks!"

I'm cracking up, so is Alison.

He did a fine job.

An offer we weren't expecting

Josh has been going to the dentist quite a bit lately. He has some deep cleaning issues to resolve.

I'm sure you've seen in some of our pictures that Josh has some fake teeth. Some people have fake teeth and you'd never know it. Not the case for my husband.

His fake teeth drive his dentist crazy. The reason, because he can fix them. It'd just cost us a coupla grand. Yeah, not in the budget.

Today he goes in for some cleaning and Dr. Volz comes in. Tells him they have an offer for him.

He'll fix Josh's teeth in exchange for before and after pictures.

No money out of our pocket AT ALL.

My husband's response:

"I'm gonna have to ask my wife, she likes my teeth."

And I do. It's all I've ever known. I don't even notice it anymore yet I couldn't imagine him with perfect teeth in front. I told him it's up to him. His mouth, his teeth, his decision.

It'll just be really weird if he chooses to have them fixed.

Some shots that really show Josh's teeth:

Josh and his sister.
The class reunion
On our way to El Gaucho

What would you do?

Dear Diary Entry 7

Dear Diary,

I'm too busy to write today. I have lots to do and I need to manage my time wisely.

For once.

The Class Reunion

It was fine.

Since I have a fear of front doors and going into places I've never been to we carpooled to the reunion with Megan and Trevor. Megan is a new friend, Trevor is...an old friend. Yeah, that's it. (actually he's the boyfriend Melissa stole!)

Sweet sweet Megan. We get to their house, I'm nervous as can be to go to this shindig (hindsight, oh hindsight) and she pats me and tells me I look great and that I'll be fine. I really like her!!!

We get to the winery. There's some wine tasting going on. And let me just tell you, wine tasting...ha! It's more like sniffing. They don't put enough in your glass to taste. I'm given my glass and I'm thinkin' "really? 'cause at my house, when I pour a glass of wine, it's brim full!"

I didn't forget names of any classmates. I think Trevor wanted me along just so he didn't forget names. He asked me a few and it was really funny the time he was wrong. I can see how he misplaced the guy but still...

While people were still showing up and introducing spouses, the four of us were together. So, I couldn't have an evening without an embarrassing moment. And I really can't believe I'm going to share this...anyway, I can't even remember who I was talking to, but I said,

"this is my husband, Josh."

next to me...is Trevor.

Josh had been standing behind me.

Bugger.

Even worse, I didn't realize it til Josh stepped forward to shake the guys' hand.

Enough of the embarrassing moment.

It made me laugh how everyone kinda found the clique they'd been in in high school. One guy who was extremely shy in school, obviously came out of his shell. He came out of his shell, others came out...of the closet. One girl was absoutely beautiful. I thought she was pretty in school but holy heck she's gorgeous now. It amazed me how little some people had changed. I had been worried that I'd look silly for not having left the valley to "make a name for myself" so to speak. Some of those that left...well, all they've made of themselves were spectacles.

So many people have said your 10 year reunion is still too much like high school, that the 20 year is sooo much better. Guess I'll wait and see.

Never could find a good pair of flip flops to go with my cut-offs and bra strap showin' tank top, so I went in this instead.

Monday Weigh In

So, I decided kinda spur o' the moment to start a new blog dedicated to this weight loss journey of mine.

If you wanna head over there, feel free. Just know that it's still just a baby blog and I'm sure I'll change it a trillion times.

I present to you:

Junk Outta the Trunk

That Blasted Tortilla

A few of you had asked about the tortilla and if I ended up needing it afterall. Pffft to you guys that asked.

The answer of course, is no.

No, I didn't need to be miffed at Josh for eating one. And the Lord always has a way of providing more than we need because not only did I not need that one tortilla that Josh ate, I also had one leftover.

I'd like to say he was smug about it but he wasn't. He doesn't roll quite like I do.

Okay, well, I'm off to figure out which pair of shoes I'm wearing to the ol' 10 year class reunion tonight. Gotta figure out which flip flops will look best with my cut-offs and bra strap showin' tank top.

This chick's gonna be smokin' fer sher!

The one where I respond to my comments section

Okay, peeps. Let's have a serious discussion. For once.

First, let me tell you-I love you. All of you, the ones who comment, the ones who lurk and those who comment anonymously.

Second, this is my blog. My blog about me, my family and our junk. My junk. And lately it's been about my junk in my trunk.

I was left an anonymous comment on that post:

Anonymous said...
Um... 134 lbs is my goal weight. what's wrong with 134 lbs??? Who am I kidding, 150 would be nice too.Good luck. Just check your motives for wanting to loose it and do what is God honoring and glorifying.

So, to anonymous and those who had the same response as him/her:

What's wrong with 134 lbs? Maybe nothing for you. My 134 lbs is about me. My body and my overweightness. Since it's my blog, I can talk about me and make up words. 134 lbs. on my 5'2" frame isn't cute. But moreover, it isn't healthy. A couple of stats I found on being overweight...


diabetes,
heart disease,
stroke,
hypertension,
gallbladder disease,
osteoarthritis (degeneration of cartilage and bone of joints),
sleep apnea and other breathing problems, and
some forms of cancer (uterine, breast, colorectal, kidney, and gallbladder)

Um, been there, done that. Had the cancer. I'm not saying I got it because I was overweight but I'm sure that it didn't help matters. I'm not saying YOU are going to get cancer if you are overweight, because I wasn't talking about anyone else and their weight. Just me and my junk.

And also, Anonymous and anonymous thinkers alike, I've never met a woman who didn't want to be thin. To look her best. To feel good every time she looked in the mirror.

But, I haven't met every woman.

I want to look good for my husband. 12 years ago, when we had just met and were dating, when I knew he was on his way to pick me up I tried on every outfit I owned, did my hair and my make up, I wanted him to be proud to have me with him. I wanted him to enjoy how I looked. I wanted him to know I did it for him.

12 years later, I still feel that way. I've just complained and not done anything about it for far too long. It's time I changed that.

Melissa, a friend of mine from high school (the one who stole my boyfriend) (I'm over it, really) loaned me a book awhile back. A book I highly recommend to all women. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. In the book Mrs. Feldhahn has surveyed around 800 men. Some churchgoers, some not. Chapter 8, was a chapter I needed to read. Before I give an excerpt of that chapter, please know that at the beginning of that chapter she encourages us as women to pray first. Because the things she's going to talk about are hard. And for someone who is already thin, that girl may take the chapter wrong and think she has to lose weight. That's not what the chapter is about. It's about a priority for our husbands that he's not comfortable talking to us about.

Here's an excerpt that hit home for me.

Here, she is talking to a professional man, she's known for many years.

"There's something I need to mention to you," Ted said, looking uncomfortable. "I think women have a blind spot in an area that they really need to understand." Taking a deep breath, he spilled the beans.
"I don't think women know how important it is to take care of themselves and not to look like a slouch around their husbands."
"You mean, not to be overweight...?" I ventured.
"That's part of it, but that's not really it," Ted continued intently. "It doesn't mean you have to be a size 3. The bigger issue is that your husband sees that you are putting forth the effort to take care of yourself, for him. See, my wife is 115 pounds, but her weight isn't really the issue. It's not about being tiny. If she doesn't take care of herself, dresses sloppily around me all the time, never exercises, and has no energy to go out and do things together, I feel like she's choosing not to do something that she should know is important to me. And then it becomes a real issue because it affects her ability to do things and her self-worth and desire-and then it affects me."


He goes on to say,

"...I just want to see that my wife cares enough about me to make an effort."



Ted's wife's weight wasn't the issue. But her effort was. I want my husband to see that I'm trying. And for the last three years I really haven't been. I've just been complaining about this roll here and that roll there. Ted says "it affects her ability to do things and her self-worth and desire-and then that affects me," I may be treading on some TMI here...but the other night my husband and I were talking about $ex. We had a very open and honest talk. And so, I'll be honest with you all...my desire has been almost nil. I love him, I desire him but I don't desire having my clothes off. And because of this, it's affecting him.

I don't want to hurt him. I want him to know I care. About him, about my appearance. When I feel good about myself it's easier for me to accept his desire for me. He loves me and my rolls. He does. But I know that he knows I feel better when I don't have them.

My motives for wanting to lose my weight are pure. I don't believe it's vain to want to look my best.

My accountability post was not at all intended to make anyone feel bad about their weight. The post was about me, about where I am in my weight loss journey and my desire for people to keep me accountable.

Who needs marriage counseling when you have cupholders and heated seats

It's official.

I'm the proud of owner of a minivan.

She has cupholders. We all know how much I love me some cupholders!

Life is complete. I have two kids, a golden retriever, a minivan and did I mention...CUPHOLDERS!!!

The husband understood my need of cupholders and thus bought me a van.

I think I'll keep him another 10 years.

Accountability

Am I really gonna do this?

bugger.

Here's the deal.

Last night I went to Weight Watchers for the first time. It was fine. Not at all what I was expecting.

In my head it was going to be like The Biggest Loser and my weight would be projected for all of the hotel occupants to see.

Not the case.

I stepped on a scale and the lady in front of me wrote down my weight on a little thingy and gave it back to me.

I paid her to tell me I'm fat.

How wrong is that?!

So many men and women have lost weight with Weight Watchers. I've seen family and friends succeed with WW. Good job, you guys!

However, I don't think it's for me. Part of it is because I don't want to pay to lose weight. About six years ago I was 30 lbs overweight. I lost the weight. Without paying anyone, without counting points, without exercising my brains out.

Not that exercising is bad...I think it's great. I just really enjoyed not having to.

Then I had Jaylee...and gaining over 50 lbs while I was pregnant was just wrong! I lost almost 30 of it.

Then I had Alison...

So, I know in my head that I can lose this 20 lbs. The main reason I wanted to join Weight Watchers was for the accountability.

I've decided to humiliate myself more than I thought possible and have you as my accountability peeps. Have no fear, I won't be calling you in the middle of the night to tell you that I'm going to eat the entire pan of peanut butter bars if you don't talk me through it.

Each Monday I'm going to tell you how much I weigh. Did I really just say that? EW! YUCK! OH MY HECK!!! I hate the idea of it. I really really really do. So, I'm hoping I hate it so much that I try harder to lose it so that each Monday my number is smaller.

I'm sure you're thrilled. Just thrilled. I know I am.

I have 19 lbs to lose.

I weighed 134 this morning. My goal is 115.

I can do this. I will do this.

Dear Diary Entry 6

Dear Diary,

In three days is my 10 year class reunion.

Wowzers.

First, I can't believe it's been ten years.

Second, I can't believe I'm going...

without Amber.

It's taken me the better part of two weeks to get excited for this. I've had some serious hesitations. Most of which I've heard from several people who've had their class reunions already.

I'm not as skinny as I was in high school (thanks to my two children and love for all things chocolately and peanut buttery).

I'm scared I'm going to forget the names of my classmates.

I'm scared they'll forget mine.

And then I wonder how they could, I mean seriously, who could forget me?! :)

The biggest concern of mine has been that after high school...I didn't go anywhere. Didn't do anything.

I've been living 8 miles from the school I graduated from for the last nine years. I didn't go to college. I didn't want to but that's not the point. Many of my classmates have gone/are going. My dream has always been to be a wife and mama. I've achieved that dream. And while I'm proud of it, I know that being a wife and mama isn't always found so glamorous. In just the last few days I've decided to be proud of who I am and where I am...not my address but where I am in my life.

So...I didn't go off to college. I didn't move out of the state or even out of the county. I live in the town just over from where I graduated from. I am wife to Joshua for the last 10 years and mama to two of the sweetest little girls, ever.

And man, I'm finally okay with that.

Thank goodness, 'cause I'm about 75 hours from seeing my old friends and am hoping to make some new.

Time to Slow 'er Down

Ahhhhhhhh.

That's me, breathing a sigh of relief. Life is settling down.

Somewhat.

This was the first weekend in five weeks that we've been home. We've been go go go like crazy. And while we love that, it feels good to be here. And it felt great to be in church yesterday.

A brief (yeah right) recap of the last month:

We started off August going to Josh's aunt's house. The next weekend was Mt. Rainier. The weekend after that we moved my sister back to Washington, BFF's birthday and then we went to Portland, OR to visit Josh's sister.

Folks, that weekend in Portland was the best four days I've had in years.

Fer sher.

It was non-stop but in a relaxing kinda way. We watched our nieces for a few hours while their parents went out to dinner and then the next night they gave us a gift card to a fancy shmancy blow-your-month's-grocery-budget-in-one-dinner kind of restaurant.

Amazing. Incredible. Service was great, food was great. Dessert...unstinkin'real. We left there and almost vomited because how much we'd eaten. I want to go back for more.

Treena took some fun family pictures of the four of us and then some cool ones of just Josh and me. I'll post some if she would so kindly email a few...hint...hint... ;)

Sunday we picked up my great friend Melissa and then headed to Pacific City for some beach fun. The weather was excellent, the ride home was...well, it was full of random music. My BIL is hilarious when it comes to his taste in music. (Love ya, Chad) But I think we had some Dolly Parton, Beach Boys, Alanis Morrissette, and many many others. Quite the eventful trip back to Portland.

Monday, Labor Day, we went on a bike ride before heading for home. So fun. Love the pathway that we get to ride on.

I didn't want to come home. I could have stayed another week. I enjoyed all the activities but I think my favorite part of the trip was the two hours I had alone with my 12 year old niece. Incredible girl. She's so mature for her age in so many ways, yet she's also very 12. I adore her.

Fer sher.

This weekend, amazingly...we were home. Well, we were in the valley. We went to Prosser so Josh could help some friends. I was only there for the food. :) Sunday was church and a birthday party for my youngest nephew. There were eight children, three and under in one room.

We didn't stay long. Holy moly. That's a whole lotta kids. And a whole lotta noise. I had a headache before we got there. Needless to say, it was intensified. It was fun to have all the kids together.

But it was also fun to go home. :)

So, now we're caught up to present day. Monday.

I went to my friend Janie's house today. We were to begin an exercise dealie-0. It's the Christian alternative to yoga. It was fun but it's not easy with 3 year olds and babies and bodies that haven't moved like that since...well...years ago. We also went blackberry picking because Janie is going to teach me to make jam. We're out a'pickin' away and shots are fired.

SHOTS. ARE. FIRED.

at me.

AT. ME!!!

Seriously. I had something whiz passed my ear and the first thing I wanted to do was take cover but instead I screamed.

Like a girl.

Janie and I were dying. We were getting stabbed with blackberry thorns and then someone tried to take my head off.

That's not all. I found the world's largest spider. Exaggerating? You think I am?! I am not!!! Janie is going to get a picture of him and I shall show you. I almost walked into it. Had I, I don't think I'd be here to tell the story to you.

Holy moly. We left shortly after. I'm not sure we picked enough berries for jam but it was fun.

Jaylee and I both have war wounds to prove the fun.

There's more I want to write about. Stuff that's been on my heart, stuff I feel the Lord has shown me. I'll save that for later.

Right now I have a diaper to change.

Dear Diary Entry 5

Dear Diary,

Next time I'm headed out into public, please remind me to put on fresh, clean clothes, preferrably a regular bra instead of a sports bra. Maybe remind me to put on some make up. Oh, and deodorant. And to maybe have a boob lift, too, seeing as how mine are hanging down to my belly button in this picture.

Yes, please remind me of these few, but very important details should I EVER show my face in public again.

Lucky me, well...sorta

Last month I subscribed to our town's newspaper. In doing so I was entered in for a $50 grocery gift card. I didn't give it a second thought because I just won the crock pot in July. I never thought I could win two things in one year!

Yesterday I get a call from Debbie at the newspaper congratulating me because my name was drawn! Woo hoo, thank You, Lord!

Everyone knows that 50 bucks in groceries is much needed!

We had company coming over last night, I was making tacos for dinner, and I notice my husband is gnawing on a tortilla. A tortilla that should have been for dinner. Grrr. I know it was only one tortilla but it was the first time this family was coming for dinner and I didn't know how much they'd eat, so I was pretty sure that one tortilla would mean we didn't have enough food. So, I decided to run to the newspaper for my gift card and then run to the store which is right across the street from the newspaper.

On my way, I look in my rear view mirror and realize...I haven't showered today. I have company coming in about 15 minutes. I have no make up on (not that I wear it often anyway) and I'm pretty sure I'm wearing the same shirt I wore to bed.

Then it hits me.

The lovely givers of the gift card are going to want to take my picture!!!!

Sure enough.

I'm sure it's going to be the most uh-mazing picture ever. I coulda died. If I didn't need that gift card so badly I would have passed up the card and picture taking. But I couldn't do it, I needed tortillas!

Don't you worry, not only will our town see me in my non-showered, no make up, pajama glory, I will share the picture with you when I get the paper.

The things I do for you.

Sigh.

Birthday Girl

The birthday girl...and her BFF of course.Alison put on a show for everyone at Red Robin. She knows what to do when the camera is out!
In deep thought at Starbucks. It's where we do our best thinking...our only thinking. Return of the windblown.
A little less windblown.
By the pictures you'd think it was just Amber, Alison and me. But no. There were husbands there. Ours in fact. They were too busy chatting amongst themselves to notice us. But I will say this for my husband, he's very good about taking our picture whenever/wherever the mood strikes us. There are more pictures, just waiting for some girl to send me the rest....