Ready for Flips

Is it Summer yet? Or at least Spring?

'Cause I'm so very ready.

I'm looking forward to dandelions in my yard and bees buzzing in my trees. I'm ready for the six neighbor kids to be outside screaming at each other and often making their way to our house to play with my husband. I'm ready for the smell of barbecues. I'm ready for the snow to be out of my yard and the sogginess of our driveway to go away.

I'm ready for flips. They make my heart go pitter-patter.

It's a wonderful feeling that feeling of summer.

Short and Sweet...hey, kinda like me!

Quick post to say that today was the Mom's group.

And I went.

On the right day.

And I had fun.

And they didn't ask me how much I don't read my Bible!

Oh, and our lessons will be on Titus 2, how funny is that?! Seeing as how I've been reading that book I told ya about.

So, I'm pretty excited.

In need of Duct Tape

Bugger.

Where to begin?

Saturday night we had decided not to go to church because Jaylee is kinda sick. Runny nose mainly but a little cough, too. However, Sunday morning rolls around and we really wanna go to church.

We decide to go and have Jaylee sit with us through service and get the adults sick instead of the kids. I was a little apprehensive because we've not been too good at training her to sit still for long periods of time. (Kinda makes her sound like a puppy, huh?)

I'm totally getting off the subject I wanna be blogging about...

We get to church and as you walk in the door, there's a table with the latest sign-ups, Ladie's Bible Study worksheets, devotionals, etc. I noticed this week there were some bracelets. You know the ones. I think they started out with WWJD? And then Live Strong, and now there's a plethora of them.

The one I was looking at was pretty plain. Blue in color and had a simple verse on it. Philippians 2:14. I wasn't familiar with the verse, so I didn't take a bracelet.

We sit down in the back, in case Jaylee needs to be taken out of the sanctuary during the service. Because remember how our pastor is a stickler about noisy children? Anyway, I look up the verse.

"Do all things without complaining or disputing." Philippians 2:14 NKJV

Um...but how will I talk?

No, seriously.

How will I?

I'm such a complainer. Huge. Amazing. The best. You'd think I get paid for it.

But I decide to take one. Hoping, praying, that it will be a great reminder to me. Josh laughs everytime I start complaining. And each time I'm so close to ripping the bracelet off and chuckin' it across the room or just laying it nicely on my bible, like this.


I'm done for now. You know, talking about this. But I know it's an issue for me. So, I'm going to share more on it later. After I get more thoughts together. I can only have one at a time, ya know. :)

Oh, and we didn't have to take Jaylee out of the sanctuary. She was good!

He's lucky he's cute

Remember how I call him husband when he's been naughty?

Well, that's what we shall call him today.

After lunch today the husband and I decide to have some ice cream. His duty is to scoop it out (being the burly man that he is) and my duty is to smother it in chocolate.

So.

We have two bowls.

He has the scooper.

I have the syrup.

He scoops a big amount into one bowl and says: "This one is mine."

I ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because I'm a big boy."

Then he puts one measley scoop into my bowl and says: "This one is yours."

I foolishly ask: "why?"

He replies: "Because you're a big girl."

And then he chuckles. He's proud of his funny little joke.

And then I take his bowl of ice cream.

And I chuckle.

Dreaming of a Clean Home

It's not a dream around here. Mine is. Amazing, huh? I know!

But what I've noticed-no one ever just stops by when your house is clean. Nope, they show up the one (or twelve) days you didn't clean it.

My house smells like Pine-Sol. One of my most favoritest smells, ever. It doesn't smell like that because I merely opened the bottle, it smells heavenly in my home because I mopped the kitchen.

But will anyone just show up randomly on my doorstep today?

Nope.

Un uh.

Doesn't work that way for me.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my preggo pic. Saying how "adorable" I am...I'll be sure to remind myself of that the next time I'm nude and not feeling so "adorable".

A message from the Hoff

He also wants you to know that you can get your Valentine cards here. Your cards will be shipped Next Day, so you're sure to have 'em on time.

And if you don't need VD (that's making me laugh just a lil) cards, there are other cards available.

So, go make someone's day and "Send Snail Mail!"

You're Invited, even if ya can't make it

So, I'm hosting a Close to My Heart party. If you've never heard of CTMH, it's scrapbook and paper crafting products galore! I'm in love with it. I'm not very good at it but I love to scrapbook and I love CTMH's products. I love putting the pictures down on paper and journaling about the events of our lives. But it's not just about scrapbooking, there are plenty of other products for every other paper craft you've got goin' on!

If you wanna check it out, go here and you can browse their awesome stuff and even order if you find something(s) you like. It'll even be shipped right to ya!

I'll leave the link in my sidebar until the party closes.

3 months (or so) to go!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. I only have three months until the baby is due. Is it okay to admit I'm kinda in a state of panic?! I mean, I'm not-but I am.

Mainly I worry about the kids sharing a room.

Will the baby wake up Jaylee?
Will Jaylee try to get in the crib with the baby?
What if the baby's a boy, will he care that we've got some paisley going on in there?

I worry that I'll be feeding him/her and Jaylee will be running wild throughout the house and there won't be anything I can do to stop her.

I'm nervous about breastfeeding. I nursed Jaylee for a year but that first week, oh boy! I wanted to die! So, that has me a little apprehensive. If not for the encouragement of my husband and prayers of so many family and friends, I know I would've given up.

Lately I've been feeling the baby is a boy, but I thought Jaylee was going to be a boy and look how that turned out! :) We've picked a boy name I love, so that makes me happy. I really thought if the baby was a boy we'd be naming him just that, "boy" since we couldn't decide on anything.

Having my stomach muscles cut last March makes me nervous that my delivery won't go as smoothly as it did with Jaylee.

There are a few of my concerns.

I am excited too! Really, I am.

Should be fun to go into the hospital and lose all sense of modesty.

I'm looking forward to not having back pain from the bowling ball sticking out the front of me.

I'm excited to be able to see my feet again. Yeah, I already can't see 'em!

I'm going to love it when people ask me when my baby's due, you know, two weeks after it's born.

See, I have things I'm excited about. :)

So, here I am in all my 6 month pregnant glory. Treena, this is the shirt ya got me, it fits! And I'm wearing my glasses, since I told you guys I got 'em, I just never sported them for you.

Bear with me, I'm long winded today.

I've really been enjoying my book, Feminine Appeal.

I shared with you a few posts back about enjoying serving my husband, something I'm learning from this book.

A few years back, okay nine and a half years back...we were given a journal for a wedding gift. Inside the front cover were "rules" of the journal. It was something to write in to encourage one another, to resolve conflicts, just to say "I love you" etc. I was reading through past entries and my heart was broken.

See, for several years, I was only one who wrote in the journal. I thought Josh read it but never replied. The first entry was about three months after we were married and I wrote pretty often for awhile, then as I realized I was the only one writing, I got a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter. And my entries stopped being about how much I loved him or missed him while he was at work, and became more, "why don't you do this for me, why aren't we spending much time together, etc."

Let me also tell you that during this bitter time I was not a good homekeeper. I wasn't working yet I filled my day reading books, going shopping, do anything I could so I wouldn't have to be at home. My husband would work hard all day and come home to a messy house and no meal prepared for him. He'd been serving me all day long and I couldn't give him a hot meal?

My heart hurts remembering my foolish, selfish, childish behavior. I'm so thankful that Jesus has helped me see that in myself and has helped me to overcome it. Mostly I'm thankful for His forgiveness of my sin.

A few years into our marriage Josh started driving a semi-truck and was gone Sunday night to Friday evening. I could've gone with him but didn't. (another post, another time) We spent even less time together. My love language is quality time, you wanna make me feel loved, spend time with me!

Since he was never home, I stopped feeling loved. Things went downhill. Again, another post for another time...

Back to the journal...

One day I found the journal and considered tossing it. Why keep it if I'm the only one writing in it, what's the point? But decided to look in it, one last time.

And holy moly!

He'd written in it!

Page after page he wrote. Pouring out his heart. He'd not just never written me back, he didn't even know I'd written in it! Didn't remember the journal. He apologized. He read all my entries and could see my heart change through them. He saw that I became bitter about how much he worked and how little time we spent together.

Rereading it yesterday, this is where my heart broke:

"Whatever I do with my hands, I do for you."

The first time I read it, it didn't really hit me. But yesterday, thinking back to all the years those hands of his have worked hard to provide for me, I was in awe of him. All those cold mornings he'd be outside rolling tanks at the gas company or the year he pushed a lawn mower 12-14 hours a day, or the couple years he drove truck, shifting gears, tarping loads of lumber, hay, pipe, etc. And now back at the gas company, back to rolling tanks in extremely cold weather. And then, I remembered the pictures I took from the other night, after he finished working on my car, in freezing temperatures.


These are the hands of the man who has provided for me for the last nine and half years of my life.

These are the hands of the man who goes into the bathroom, gets a brush, and brushes my hair.

The hands of the man who busts his knuckles repairing our rigs.

The hands of the man who cuddles, tickles, rocks and disciplines our daughter.

The hands of the man who hold me while I cry for no reason.

These are the hands of the man who has served me for the last nine and a half years, without complaint.

I think now is a good time for me to start serving him. I may feel almost ten years late but I'm not going to let my pride stand in the way of the next 50+ years I have of serving him.

Simple Date Night

Before Jaylee was born Josh and I went on dates a lot. It was easy to. We could just decide we wanted to go and that was that.

Now that she's around it's been quite a bit more difficult. Finding a babysitter isn't the easiest thing for us to do. Sure my in-laws aren't far from us, but it doesn't take long before I feel I'm abusing that privilege. For the most part, if we want to go do something, Jaylee goes along. It's not a bad thing. She's well behaved (for the most part) and she's fun to be around and she doesn't add any expense to our meals because she still eats from our plates. I'm enjoying this while it lasts!

However, there are times I would just like to be with my husband. And have all his attention on me and mine on him.

Last night was one of those nights I just wanted to be with him. But with a week til payday and no one to watch Jaylee, I had to be a lil creative.

So, I started Jaylee's bedtime routine an hour early. We read books, changed her into jammies, we played and then at 7 instead of 8, we put her to bed.

And for an extra hour Josh and I just enjoyed being together. We talked. I gave him a backrub. Then he left the room and came back with every pillow we own. He laid them out trying to make it so I could lay on my tummy so he could rub my back. It was pretty funny. Then we just sat on the couch and played Sudoku...or however you spell it.

It wasn't anything fancy. But it was free. Fun. Relaxing. Enjoyable.

And I think we'll do this more often.

Dork

That's me. Gave you the wrong address on my sidebar for my mother. She's all fixed now. So you can go stalk her.

Thanks, Erica for letting me know!

Not even sure how to title this.

Over on Liz's blog, she asked "What are some things you have said that didn't quite come out right?"

I posted my latest slip up in her comments section, hoping it's okay...

Anyway, thought I'd share my idiotness with the rest of the class.

I was talking to Treena on the phone the other night, somehow we got on the conversation of Josh and me working in the nursery at church.

I tell her, "Our pastor is a stickler when it comes to baby makin' noises in the sanctuary."

I paused. She paused. And I realized what I'd said. What I'd meant to say was, "babies makin noises in the sanctuary."

My, how a little wording changes everything...

Possible Mistake...

But I added my mom's blog to my sidebar. She posts quite sporadically (remember that word from Clueless?!) and I'm a little worried what you may learn about me from her. Disregard anything she may say that would cause you to not come back here.

Listed below are some reasons not to visit her blog...

-She can be delusional.

-Pretty sure she's on meds half the time (possibly all of the time)

-She can only see out of one eye, seriously!

-She's warped.

-Her sense of humor...well, it's definitely her own...

-Her name is Arla. Not Carla, not Darla, not even Marla. It's Arla. Who names their kid that?

Reasons to visit her blog...

-She is my mother, so that in itself makes her amazing.

Cloth Diapering

Any of you amazing readers out there cloth diaper your child/ren?

It's something I considered with my first but had quite a few negative reactions to it, so I didn't do it.

Now, realizing we've spent about $1400 in diapers for Jaylee, I'm thinking it's something I should look into more seriously. Negative opinions aside...

If you did do it or are doing it, any frugal advice about cloth diapers for me?

While on Hiatus

So, remember when I got rid of the internet? Oh, how I do...

While I was gone I never told you about one of the greatest moments of my life of 2007. Do you remember in 1987, when Johnny got Baby out of the corner? Do you? Oh, how I do...

I may have only been seven years old but how I loved, loved that movie. My sisters and I would pretend we could do "the lift" and we'd put on dresses that flipped up as we spun around. Oh, the 80's...

So, 2007 marked the 20th Anniversary of Dirty Dancing. Amber loves the movie as much as I do. When we found out it would be playing ON THE BIG SCREEN in select theaters we were quick to find out where the nearest one from us would be.

200 miles away.

Uh huh, we went.

Childless.

Husbandless.

It was amazing.

We left about 10 hours before the movie started, even though it was only going to take us about 3 to get there. We went to an outlet mall and found ourselves in Claire's, the hair and ear accessories shop, you know-for girls 13 and under. It was as if we were back in 1987. I couldn't get enough of the place. I bought this really large, neon green belt and wore it over my shirt for the rest of our trip. The girl working in the store wasn't our biggest fan. We had told her we came into the store to get out of the rain, part way through our shopping experience she informed us it had stopped raining and we could leave.

But we're having fun in here!

We went to lunch at Red Robin. Made up stories about the people at other tables. Don't judge us, you do it, too.

We still had a few hours to kill, seriously. So, we found ourselves at a Walgreen's. Where I found a Grey's Anatomy board game for under 10 bucks! Along with some candy for the movie and other random junk. We were thrilled! Thrilled, I say!

We parked ourselves at the theater and still had two hours to wait. So, we did what most people do, we measured our noses with the Rolos we'd bought And we played the board game til there were no more questions to answer.

And then...then came movie time! We get our drinks and our popcorn and we sit ourselves in our seats and basically we squealed with delight. And we weren't the only ones there. However, we were the only ones who had driven 200 miles. When the movie came on everyone screamed and clapped and I think I may have had a tear in my eye. It was the best experience of my life.

Watching that movie on the big screen was incredible!

Why'd I post about this today? I dunno. Probably because I have nothing else to write about and I remembered this wonderful story was never told.

Well, at least this pregnant-brained girl doesn't remember telling the story...

Bits and Pieces

For those of you who not only read blogs but blog yourself, do you find yourself with a million half-written posts in your head, things you'd like to say, but just can't quite form an entire post about it?

So you have bits and pieces.

Say...ya wanna write about the new tennis shoes ya got, but you also wanna talk about giving birth without drugs, or how your husband took your daughter for a couple of hours so you could sleep but instead you scrapbooked, or possibly about how the Lord has laid on your heart to see your child as a blessing and not a burden, or maybe about how you were 3/4 of the way to church yesterday when you spill your mocha all down the front of you (and they already think you're a dork because you came to Mom's group on the wrong day) and how baby wipes are a miracle worker when it comes to removing said coffee from your pink shirt?

Ever just have those random half-written posts in your head?

Yeah, me either. But I was just curious.

Yeah, I have nothing. Nothing to say. Nothing to write about. But I wanted to at least post and let ya know that.

'Cause that's how I roll.

Forgot to Mention

That my no-longer-working-because-i-am-pregnant-brain also malfunctioned at Target yesterday.

I get out to my car after spending too much time (and money) and realize my car door is wide open. Yep. I left 'er open. Nothing was stolen. Thank goodness. Would have been tragic to lose the kid's carseat and the 37 cents I had in the ashtray. I wouldn't have minded the Bible being stolen because I figure whoever stole it needs it more than I do. But, guess the Lord thought I was still needing it, because it was still in the passenger seat. And since I gave the Rice Krispie treats to Pastor Tom, I didn't need to worry about those, they were already gone. The stereo wasn't there but then again, it wasn't there before I went into Target.

Since I didn't get to eat any of those treats yesterday I decided I'd make myself some today. I thought to myself that I'd make them and eat them before Josh got home, then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about eating them because he'd never know I made them. You know how it works, if no one sees you eat an entire pan of Rice Krispie treats, it never happened. But...he walked in for lunch right as I was putting them in the pan.

Blast.

Pulling out the Pregnant Card

Even though I'm Whiner of America and really good at getting my husband to do things for me that I could so do by myself, while I'm pregnant I don't believe in doing that.

I don't say, "I can't do that, I'm pregnant." Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I don't say, "I'm sick of peeing every 15 minutes, can you go for me this time?" Not that I don't want to sometimes, I just don't do it.

I also don't say, "I can't change the litter box, I'm pregnant, you're going to hafta do it." I probably don't say this because we don't have a cat.

Anyway, I try really hard not to be a baby while carrying a baby. Josh commented on it the other night, so I was glad he noticed.

However, after the dumb thing I did today, I'm so pulling the Pregnant Card.

Our church has a Mom's Group thing that meets a couple of times a month. I've never been. I make the excuse that we live about 40 miles from church and it's so hard for me to go, blah blah blah...when, in reality it's because I'm skerd. I love these girls. I take care of some of their kids when Josh and I serve in the nursery but I still get nervous about the small group setting, where I may be asked questions about how often I read (or in my case, don't read )the Bible. I'm skerd they won't like me. I have a tendency to show my true colors too soon after meeting people (and I wonder why I only have Amber for a friend...)

Anyway...

I decided on Sunday, after I got the little postcard handed to me, that I would go this week. I'd make a trip of it. Go to Bible study, go grocery shopping, take Jaylee to lunch, possibly stop in at my mom's work and say hello, etc. Today, I'm all pumped. I get up. Get dressed. And I remember, "if you feed them, they will like you." so I proceed to whip up some Rice Krispie treats.

I drive the 40 miles to church. Walk in with Bible, purse, kid and treats in hand. Pastor Tom was sitting at his desk, singin' away, sees us and greets us. I ask if the ladies are meeting downstairs.

"Uh, Sarah, that was yesterday."

I, feeling a bit sheepish, say, "okay, here's some treats, see ya Sunday!"

He didn't let me leave. Talked to me for a bit, says he'll only take the treats because there's a home fellowship meeting that night and it'd be great to have the treats, blah blah blah. I know he's thinking, "you're a moron, can't believe you came on the wrong day, especially when my wife gave you a postcard that clearly states the women meet on Wednesdays not Thursdays."

But he didn't make me feel like a moron, he was nice, pastors are s'posed to be dontchaknow?

Yep, this is me, pulling the Pregnant Card. Can't help my retardness, this baby is sucking my brains out.

I wrote my post yesterday and left the computer. Kristie is always so great about commenting on just 'bout every post. By the time I'd gone to bed last night, she'd not commented.

I was out of bed before 5 this morning. Holy cow. And some of my first thoughts were about yesterday's post. I had sat here and typed away, mainly for myself, getting my thoughts out but this morning I was thinking that maybe I was sounding like a whiner. I came downstairs and decided I'd delete the post. You know, 'cause if I deleted it from my archives then that meant surely no one had already read it...

Uh huh...

But I come down here, check my email and in there are three encouraging comments on yesterday's post. It was so nice to be reassured that y'all know me and know that I wasn't complaining but venting what was on my heart. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for praying for and encouraging me.

I love you guys so much!

***************

In other random Culver news:

I've talked about it plenty of times. Housework is not my strong suit. I kinda enjoy it but usually fall so far behind in it that it becomes a huhuhuge chore. I get overwhelmed and the result is often my amazing husband helping me to catch up.

This has not been the case.

I've not used my dishwasher in two days, yet I have no dirty dishes in the sink. I've been doing them by hand! (I know, Mom, you're wondering if I'm ill) I've been doing them throughout the day, so there aren't many to do at a time. I can listen to music, talk with Jaylee, stare out the window and just enjoy my hands in the nice warm water. It's been relaxing!

Laundry, oh my, the FAPA part (fold and put away) is usually something that doesn't get done. I'll wash and dry a load of clothes. Throw it on my bed and start another load. During this time the dog has found herself a nice warm bed. I'll do 10 loads of laundry in a day because I fail to complete just one load a day. I see this huge pile of clothes, that were clean mind you, but are wrinkled, now covered in dog hair and there are so many of them I don't want to FAPA them.

Early last week I caught myself up. And have since kept up. I've washed, dried and FAPA'd one load a day since. We came back from Portland and within 10 minutes of being home I had started a load of laundry. It's been kinda nuts. I've just been so thankful to the Lord for giving me a desire to keep my home, I've been praying for it and He answered.

Sure, I'm probably nesting but it's getting addicting and I'm enjoying myself.

Been where I have been? Ask Jesus for a desire to enjoy the dishes or laundry or cleaning the bathroom. It may take a while to see a change in yourself but it'll happen.

That Prayer Request

Thank you to everyone who's praying for our family.

I think I'm just going to go ahead and say what I was requesting prayer for. I didn't in the first place because I was fearful. I'd had a bad day. I mean, it was good. But I felt like I was failing as a believer.

I'd decided on Sunday night that I was going to do my devotions on Monday. It's been a long time and I need to get back into that. I was looking forward to it.

Was.

I called Josh yesterday morning about something or maybe he called me...I can't remember and it really doesn't matter who called who, huh? Anyway...

While we're talking he tells me he wants to start a Bible study in our home.

Wow.

I was thinking, "is this really my husband I'm talking to?" I truly believe my husband is an amazing teacher. He would tell you that he's not. He feels a lil like Moses. But if you've ever read anything by him, like this here, or heard him explain something, you know he has a way of painting a picture in your head and making things clear.

SO...I totally think it'd be awesome to have a Bible study. But I worry about if we'll really follow through, if people will really come, etc. And then after my devotional time yesterday, I was bawling. I had opened up my Bible. I read a chapter and realized that I had no clue what I'd read.

And I remembered why I don't have my devotions regularly. I feel completely lost. I feel dumb that I don't understand what I've read and I wonder how I'm supposed to get to know Jesus better if I can't understand His Word.

Devotional time yesterday just wasn't a good time for me. The entire time I was thinking, "how can I be a helper to my husband and this Bible study if I don't know anything about the Bible?!"

I want to know Jesus. I want to follow hard after Him. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him. I want that close intimate relationship with Him. I want to have people talk to me and be able to respond to them and know that it's words of wisdom, not just spew from my mouth. Because you talk like the One you talk to. The better I know Him, the better I'll be able to talk to others.

Anyway.

So, I would still appreciate your prayers. Please pray for us to pick a day to have the study. Pray for people to come. Pray for me to be a helper to my husband. Pray for a direction in what to study.

You know, just those few things.

Prayer Request

There's a thing. Yeah, I don't know what else to call it. And since I'm not where I can share about it yet, I'm just going to ask you to pray for my husband and me.

Just pray for us.

Okay, thanks! :)

Can't sleep, here's why.

For five nights now I've tossed and turned. The turning part isn't so easy lately since my belly gets in the way. Here are some random thoughts that can keep a girl awake even when she's dead tired.

-did I love on Jaylee enough today?

-gas prices, holy heck, I'm so tired of the money spent on gas.

-my house has been clean for over a week. Really clean. It's really weird. I know that normal people keep a clean house all the time, me...not so much. My mom says I'm nesting, I'd like to think I'm finally growing up and taking responsibility for my home.

-the closet we'll be building in the kids' room (man, it's weird to have kid be in plural, I'm going to have two of them soon!) I keep designing the inside of the closet over and over in my head.

-sugar. My midwife told me I need to cut back on my sugar intake. That's rough. This morning I had to ask the Lord to help me get through my bowl of cereal without sugar.

-our Beagle. We're leaving for the weekend and she can't go. No one wants to keep her for us and I can't say as I blame 'em. I can't stand her either. But I'm panicking because we leave in a few hours and I've yet to know what to do with her. Thinking a trip to the pound....(just kidding, Melinda)

-embarrassment over having things others don't. I've been feeling guilty over what I have. Is this right? Is this the enemy just pestering me?

-two kids? Really? What were we thinking? Jaylee is two and a half. And lately she's been showing her true colors. Everyone tells me it's her age, she'll get passed it. But is being two really an excuse or am I failing to train her properly? How can I have another if I can't control the first?

-my dad. Sometimes I just get sad thinking about him. I really need to grow up.

-weight gain. I gained 58 lbs while pregnant with Jaylee and I didn't lose all of it. Starting to panic over that, so far I've only gained a couple this time around.

-friendships. Am I a good friend? Am I letting people down? Should I continue to make an effort with those that don't reciprocate? Honestly, I get tired of being the one to make the effort but I love my friendships and don't want them to end just because I got tired of being the one to call or whatever. How petty am I!?

-am I enjoying serving my husband? Does he know that even though I hate to do dishes, I'm thankful for the money he provides our family so I can buy the groceries to make the meals that make those dishes dirty?

-our 10 year anniversary is coming. Would it be weird to renew our wedding vows?

-labor and delivery. Pushing Jaylee out was a breeze, I had stomach muscles then. However, they've been cut since then, how will this next one find a way out!?


That's just a few of the things I have been mulling around at night. It's making me overwhelmed. I love to sleep and hate that I haven't been able to.

And on a very random side note, Happy Greysday! A new episode is on tonight! Woo hoo!

Fickle

I could never buy a fancy shmancy blog layout. I just couldn't. I like to change mine too much. Just really wish I knew how to make it all fancy shmancy all by myself.

My husband is home for lunch, suppose I should get some fixin's for him.

Hey, Mom...

Still laughing over the fishing pole. And it's been a coupla hours. Love you.

She's a Hoot

Sometimes I think if I didn't have a child or husband, I'd have nothing to blog about. Thank goodness for Jaylee today, otherwise you'd have to start visiting my archives and we wouldn't want you falling asleep at work or anything like that...

Today, I'm on the phone with Amber, and when I'm on the phone, Jaylee has this bad habit of thinking that's "free time" and she likes to do as many naughty things as possible.

Today was no different.

Amber can tell it's quiet in the house and asks if Jaylee is sleeping.

She wasn't.

I look over and she's unplugged my iPod from the stereo and is trying to stuff it into her little jeans pocket.

I tell her that that's a no-no. As if she doesn't already know. I ask her to bring it to me and she holds it up to her ear and pretends it's a phone.

"It's not a phone, Jaylee, it's an iPod." I tell her.

"Oh, HiPod!" She yells.

It's really hard to discpline your child when they're funny.

Her First Dance

Last night one of my favorite moments between Josh and Jaylee happened. My all time favorite of course was seeing him hold her for the first time. The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father. And in the first moment he saw her and held her, in his eyes, I could see his world change.

Yep, gettin' teary just thinking about it.

But last night was definitely up there on my list of faves.

Jaylee informs him she wants to dance. So, of course he obliges...you know because she has him wrapped around that lil pinky of hers. He plugs in my iPod and Alison Krauss' version of When You Say Nothing at All starts to play. Jaylee has my music talent and starts dancing like it's rap music. She's jumping all over the place to this beautiful slow song.

Josh picks her up.

"It's a slow song, Jaylee. Put one hand on daddy's shoulder and hold my other hand."

And they danced.

The man who said he didn't ever want to be a dad. The man who didn't think he'd make a good father....

I thanked the Lord that Jaylee has a daddy willing to take the time to show her he loves her.

Enjoying Serving

I received a book for Christmas, well, I received three books for Christmas but I saved this one for last because I knew that it would be one to teach me, one that I'd want to linger on awhile.

I'm only 30 pages in and I feel the Lord speaking to my heart. Honestly, I love and hate when that happens. I hate to see areas where I'm failing but love how gently the Lord shows me where I need to improve.

The author, whose name I can't think of at the moment, recalls a story of one day where, at the end of her day she realizes she had served her husband but had not enjoyed him. It was a busy day for her. He had called to see how she was doing and she spoke quickly and ended their conversation pretty fast. Later in the day she had dropped off his clothes at the cleaner, gone to the bank and some other errands I believe and then stopped at his office to let him know the rest of her plans for the day, but she kept the visit brief.

She said she realized at the end of the day, that while she had served him (clothes to the cleaners and other errands) she had not enjoyed him. She didn't take time to converse with him on the phone when he'd called her and had not taken much time for him at his office either.

How often have I done this?!

So often.

There are times where I'm so proud of myself for the chores I've gotten done throughout the day and I pat myself on the back that dinner is literally on the table when he walks in the door. But there are evenings where we'll have dinner, I'll finish my food and instead of lingering at the table to talk about his day, I'll get up and start on dishes or throw laundry in or read a book.

Yes, I've served my husband.

But I've not enjoyed him.

I'm looking forward to reading more and learning more. I'm looking forward to enjoying my husband, enjoying serving him.

Happy New Year, everyone!

We had the best time ever. Ever. Such a great night. To see some fun pictures of our night, check out Kristie's blog. I didn't take any pics with my digital camera (once again) so head over there and you can check out the fun we had.

It's 2008 now. 2007 is gone. I made resolutions last year, remember? And I knew then I'd probably only accomplish one of 'em. And one is all I accomplished. I started to write that I wish it had been that I'd grown a garden or learned to bake a pie but I'm actually proud of the one resolution I kept.

Jaylee knows her ABC's.

She'll shout them in Wal Mart for you if you'd like to hear. The lady passing by us the other day got a kick out of it. *sigh* We're now working on keeping our voices down in public. And not referring to women with short haircuts as men. 'Cause yeah, she did that. "Look mama, it's uh man!"

My Christmas shopping or handmade gifts (I didn't make any) were not done by August. I didn't quit biting my nails. I did lose 15 lbs of the 20 I wanted to lose but I guess morning sickness doesn't count for a healthy way to lose weight, now does it? And since I've gained all that back...

Bugger.

Anyway.

We were lying in bed and I told Josh that 2007 was a pretty busy year for us. My grandpa passed away, I got appendicitis, I got cancer, we went on lil mini vacations to Portland, Jaylee turned TWO, Josh walked the Portland Marathon with his sister, my grandma passed away, I got pregnant...

It was a full year. Of good things. And sad things.

But I realized I'm not a reflector. (If that's a term for a person) I don't really think about much. I'm not deep. I live each day as it comes and sadly, sometimes I don't learn from the day's mistakes that I've made.

I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to be someone who is more thoughtful. I want to think before I speak. I learned recently that that's sooo important. Words I said were hurtful. I didn't intend them to be, not at all, but they were.

I'm a loudmouth. I know this. My mom used to call me "mouth" when I was younger. I talk too much. Sometimes too loudly. And usually it's just a bunch of stuff that doesn't need to be said. I'll never be a quiet person. It's just not in me. But I'd like to be quieter. I'd like to think more and speak less.

And that, my friends is my only New Years Resolution this year.

It Got a Lil Worse

Yesterday was bad and it got worse. Didn't think it could? Me either.

We don't use our microwave very often so we keep it in the basement. Since I'd had Bad Day of America, I hadn't thought out dinner. So, I decided on leftovers. I take a plate of Chicken Lasagna downstairs, put 'er in the microwave, wait a coupla minutes and then I head up the stairs with the plate.

I'm three steps away from the top, when I trip.

Plate goes flying into the front door, which my husband was opening.

Food spills everywhere. I freeze. He freezes.

And there was nothing else to do but laugh. I mean really. Getting mad all day didn't do anything good for my mood, so I decided to take a different outlook.

Poor Josh. He knew my bad day. And I think he thought this would send me over the edge. He made sure I was okay. And I was. Just a lil hurt pride is all. I have no idea what I tripped over.

He offered to take me out to dinner and I really wanted to take him up on his offer. But I put on my Big Girl Panties and made the back up recipe of Spaghetti.

I'm off to go get my glasses now. We'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll have a spectacular picture of myself for you later.

And if that doesn't make you wanna come back to visit me, I don't know what will.

A bad day gets good then bad again

Today is not my favorite Thursday of all time. Thursdays used to be amazing. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Greysday, etc. But there is no Grey's because of this ridiculous strike. Pfft.

Anyway, this post is not about Grey's but about the fact that today has been a bad day and it would have a chance of looking up were Grey's Anatomy going to be on.

Today just didn't start off well. Jaylee and I just weren't hittin' it off today. My glasses were supposed to be in at the doctor's office today, I call and ask if they are in, she tells me they should be in at 11:30 but they close at noon, so I'm gonna have to hurry. I leave my house at 11:30, arrive there at 11:45, ask if they came, she seems annoyed and pretends to look for them.

"No, I guess they didn't arrive."

I drive the 15 minutes back to town, (this is where the day has a bright side) I decide to make myself feel a little better and I go through the McDonald's drive-thru. As I'm pulling away from the little speaker thing a girl comes out and posts a note about debit cards, I can't see it (no glasses) I pull up to the first window and she informs me they aren't taking debit cards.

And they don't take checks.

I know, you're thinking, "just pay cash!" I would, if I had some!

She says I can come in and use their ATM machine. Uh, no thanks, I came through the drive-thru because I'm lazy, I'm not going in there to be charged an extra $2.75 for my chicken sandwich.

"Let me talk to my manager." She says.

Figuring they'll let me do dishes to pay for my sandwich.

"We're going to give you your lunch for free today!"

"Whaaat?!"

"Free. Since our computer is down, you can have lunch free today."

I was ecstatic. Thrilled. Couldn't believe it. So happy.

Then the doctor's office calls my cell at 12:15, remember, they closed at noon.

"Oh hi, Sarah. Uh, it looks like your glasses were here."

Insert expletive here.

It's not about the accuracy

About a week or so before Christmas, I saw this post. Her blog is titled "Thoughts from an Overthinker" and I really do believe it suits her.

While reading this post though I was really hit hard with what she said. And I began wondering, why do we celebrate Jesus' birthday in December? Why are nativity scenes shown with the wisemen there?

I was really bothered.

I talked to my mom about it on Christmas Eve before our church service and she advised me to just ask Pastor Tony. There were quite a few people at church and he seemed busy, so I decided not to ask.

I didn't need to.

When Pastor Tony got up to pray before our service started, one of the first things he said was that the day, the season, was not about the accuracy.

Then, after some Christmas songs, and the Men's Choir, Pastor Tony got back up to share a bit.

He said again that Christmas is not about getting hung up on the accuracy of when Jesus was born. He said more than celebrating His birth, we need to celebrate His death and resurrection! Amen!

I was so overwhelmed. I know that the message wasn't just for me that night but it really felt like it. I was just so thankful to Jesus for answering my questions. He's always so loving in the way He teaches us.

**********************

We had a great Christmas. Well, it was great after we made the trip to a sleazy little mini-mart to get a gallon of milk because I had forgotten to get some the day before. I was glad that it was a sleazy mini-mart because they didn't care that I was wearing my nightgown and ragged slippers in there.

Josh gave me a new paper cutter, that I desperately needed. The measurements on my old one were off, so my scrapbook layouts wouldn't come out right and I'd get a lil peeved. He also gave me an attachment to my KitchenAid mixer. I shredded a 2 lb. brick of cheese in about 37 seconds last night, it was beautiful!

We gave Jaylee some clothes and the game Don't Spill the Beans. She calls it "Bob" and the only reason I can come up with is that the bowl for the beans is red and looks a little like Bob the tomato from Veggie Tales. But, who knows, maybe she's just a dork like her mama.

The greatest gift was a phone call from Treena, my sister-in-law. We're talking about the gifts we've received and then all of a sudden, she's in my driveway! Her family came from Portland and the surprise was so much fun. They're coming this weekend to celebrate Christmas but they wanted to visit for the day. Loved it.

I didn't take pictures with my digital camera, so I'll have to share them with you after they are developed.

I hope you and yours had a very Merry Christmas!

A Rerun

I'm going to repost a post I wrote a few months back. Mainly for myself. But maybe for you, too.

I see a lot of the stuff I wrote about creeping back into my life. And I'm not pleased with it. Some out of my control (may talk about it later) and some, like the issue with my cell phone and trips to Wal Mart, that I can control.

This time of year, when I know I'm getting presents from my husband, I always want diamonds. Silly, huh? Yeah, I know. But it's true. And one year I got them. Waaay before Jaylee was born but I got them. And I love them. I love shiny stuff.

Like diamonds and new vehicles....anyway...here's my original post:

I have a confession to make. I don't always listen to Christian music. *gasp* I know, you're all horrified but it's the truth. I feel better now just getting that out there.

Okay, bye.

Just kidding! :) I'm silly, huh? Anyway...

On Saturday we were driving somewhere, thinking it was SMT, Saturday Morning Tradition, we've done this for almost six years, we get up early, go get coffees and sometimes donuts, come home and get to work on our house or lounge around and wait for someone to need my husband's help. This weekend it was me needing his help. I really want our junk room complete. Anyway...again. So, we're driving and Sheryl Crow starts singing "Soak up the Sun." Totally, love the song. Right now I'm trying to think of all the words to make sure I really want to state that I love the song, can't remember them all, so maybe I should just say I like the beat. I'm starting to ramble. I did have a point to this blog, for once.

"It's not about having what you want, it's 'bout wanting what you got." I almost started spelling it the way I hear it in my head..."Snot bout having wut you waaant, sbout wanting wuuut youuu gottt" Now, I did spell it the way I hear it. Please don't stop reading. I seriously have a point.

Somewhere.

That line of the song really resonated with me. I am so quick to want what someone else has. So quick. Sometimes it's something material, sometimes not. I have been getting better but when Josh and I were first married, eight and a half years ago, I wanted. And I wanted some more.

My husband wanted to please me. So, he gave. And he gave some more.

I wanted a Honda Accord, we got one. I wanted a newer one, we got one. I wanted a dishwasher, we got one. I wanted a beagle, we got one (free to good home btw) I kept wanting. And I was so selfish. I was so ignorant. So blind to see what it was doing to me.

To us.

It didn't stop when it came to the cars. In 2002 I decided I wanted a 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer. I got one. It was beautiful. It was red. It was mine.

It was ridiculous.

We almost had to file bankruptcy because the payments were almost $400 per month. We were so stressed. We were miserable. I felt like I was drowning. Looking back it reminds me of the Veggie Tales movie with Madam Blueberry. She shopped at Stuff Mart and she always wanted more but each time she got more, she still was not happy. That was me.

Honestly, it's getting better. I truly believe it's a heart issue. I was not walking with the Lord. I wasn't seeking Him out, wasn't asking for His peace. I was just living for myself. Trying to fill a void.

Oh but I was so empty.

I'm not saying everything is perfect now. It's definitely not. I told you at the beginning I still covet. But I'm learning to repent of it, I'm learning to want what I already have. There was so much stress in the "stuff" that I had or did. So, I started eliminating it, a lot of it cold turkey.

1. My cell phone
2. Credit card debt
3. My car, it was paid for but we sold it to pay off debt. And, the reason it was paid for...instead of filing for bankruptcy, we remortgaged our house to pay it off. We will always be so thankful to my Uncle Eric who suggested that to us. Otherwise, well...I don't know what would have happened.
4. Daytime TV, no more soap operas!
5. Unhealthy friendships
6. Wal Mart, I used to go there a few times a week. Not for anything inparticular, just to go. I always left with at least $30 worth of stuff. Now, I don't go there at all. It's literally saving me hundreds each month.
7. Coffee. Oh, this was so hard to cut down on. But now, instead of 7-8 times a week, we go twice. Once on Wednesdays between noon and 3, because it's double punch day and 50 cents off each drink and then on Saturdays for SMT. This is saving us close to $200 per month.

I'm sure there are more things I could cut back on, but for now, this is where I am.

The relief that I feel being happy with what I have is amazing. It feels good to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not scared to check my mail. I'm learning to be okay with going to the mall and not walking out with a brand new pair of Lucky jeans, but oh how I miss them!

I've been blessed. I love my life. I love my husband. I love our daughter. I love our house. I love our '85 suburban, even tho' she didn't want to start this morning!

I think the Lord wants to see what we'll do with what He's already given us before He'll bless us further. Does that make sense? It does to me. I've really felt Him telling me that lately.

Sorry this post is so long. It was just really on my heart on Saturday and we were gone all day yesterday so I didn't get a chance to talk to you.

I pray you have just the best day today.

Tacky Christmas Sweaters Act II

You thought we'd boxed them up til next year, didn't you?

Oh, no. Last night was FACTCP (First Annual Culver/Thiemann Christmas Party) at our house. Amber decided we needed to bust the bad girls back out one last time before next Black Friday.

I made a new recipe, it wasn't too terrible, it's hard for me to find something to cook for this family because they don't like mushrooms or onions. And almost everything I cook has onions in it! But I found something and had they not eaten at McDonald's two hours before coming to our house, I think they would've eaten a lil more.

My husband wasn't finished with his food but I took his plate anyway, I really wanted to get to the opening of gifts!

The pictures don't show it, but our families were there. I promise.

I was a little worried about posting the pictures with us throwing up our gang signs since we live in an area where that's a big deal. So, just know that we have no idea what signs (if any) that we're throwing in the pics. :)

Oh Christmas Tree...

Last night I almost took 'er down. No, not the kid, however, it was a thought a time or 12.

The tree.

The Christmas tree. It makes me crazy. I want her gone.

I asked the husband last night if we could take it down. He said that we could but he had a sad look on his face. So, I decided it could stay up. Wouldn't want to make him sad. He may not buy me any more gifts for Christmas.

Speaking of...

There are 3 trillion presents under my tree. One for me. And the one that is for doesn't weigh anything. I think he forgot to put whatever was supposed to go in the box in the box.

I'm rambling. I know this. I'm alright with it.

That tree is in some serious danger today.

When I Knew

My sister asked me, "When did you know you were in love with Josh and that you were going to marry him?"

I was 16 when this boy walked into church. He was wearing a Cross Country t-shirt, Lee jeans, a pair of well loved running shoes and he was sporting a flat top hair cut. I told my friend, Lindsey, "I'm going to marry that guy."

I didn't know his name. I'd never seen him before. All I knew from the moment I saw him was that he had no fashion sense whatsoever but he made my heart skip a beat and I wanted to marry him.

It would be another month or so before we were introduced. Linds and I were trying to think of what his name could be. I told her I thought he looked like a "Josh" and sure enough, wouldn't ya know it!

Lindsey was dating a guy named David at the time. He was a couple years older than we were and he said Josh was in his Sunday school class, so he'd introduce us.

We started dating, sorta, shortly after. I was sooo into him and he was sooo not into me. So, after a few months of hanging out, it fizzled. I've never cried so hard in my life. Not ever. I was only 16 but I was in love with him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

A few months of pity parties would go by and of course I had random crushes at school but I wanted Josh.

One day in May, I was in my room, and my mom came in to tell me that Josh was at the door.

"And he's wearing spandex." She said.

I go to the door and sure enough, there he is, in all his road bike, spandex glory. It was a sight, I tell you.

He asked if I wanted to go for a bike ride. And I remember having to remind myself to breathe. He was everything, everything to me.

After that bike ride we started hanging out again. I turned 17 in June, school let out and we started hanging out even more. We'd talk about marriage but not in the sense that it would be each other we were marrying. But I knew he was the one.

In August, he told me he loved me. Told me were going to get married. He said that on our bike ride in May, after he left my house to ride home, the Lord told him, "that's the girl you're going to marry."

In December we got engaged. And in July of 1998, a month after my 18th birthday, we got married.

So, Erica, there's a really long answer to your questions.

We Shouldn't Have Laughed

but we did. Because it was funny. And before you read this and make up your mind that we are bad parents, please know, we already know this.

We had to go to Yakima tonight for one last Christmas present. We're driving along, talking about whatever, when Jaylee yells from the backseat,

"Loooook!!! Santy Claus, drinkin' uh beeeer!"

We look. We see a billboard of Santa Claus, drinking a bottle of Coke. We bust out laughing. And we really shouldn't have. Because we saw another billboard about a mile away.

"Loooook, Mama!!! Santy Claus, drinkin' uh beeeer! The clown is drinkin' uh beer."

Tears. I had tears I was laughing so hard.

We already know we're bad parents. Now I'm just telling all of you.

Trip to Leavenworth

Here are some pictures from our trip to Leavenworth this last weekend.

Jaylee and Annie in the sled. Jaylee loved being pulled through town on the sled. It was really nice that James and Lindsey live so close to all the fun stuff.

Lindsey and me getting ready to go down the hill. It wasn't a big hill, but there were a ton of people and I was skerd to hit 'em!

Jaylee and Annie right before the town lighting. It was so cool. There were sooo many people. We sang a couple Christmas carols, there was a prayer, and then a countdown to the town being lit.

Some of the trees that were lit up.

Linds and me at Gustav's. I was really excited for food!


It was fun to hang out with them and go to their church. Their pastor cracked me up. He preached on Isaiah 9:6. The names of the Christ Child. Loved the message on hope.

Because I'm hoping for a dad for Christmas. And if I don't get one this Christmas, I'll continue being hopeful.

Because there is always next Christmas.

Another Christmas Memory

Since I only have eight days until Christmas, I thought it might be fun to post a few more Christmas memories until the big day!

After we moved out of the fifth wheel we moved to "The Icky House" and to tell you the truth I don't know that we upgraded any.

The good thing about the place was that it did have a bathroom, an upgrade from the McDonald's bucket, the bad thing (or one of the many) was the Hallway to H-E-double hockeysticks we had to go through to get to it. It was a scary scary hallway I tell you!

The house was like a big open room, cement floor with some outdoor carpet thrown down in the living room. The only source of heat a wood stove. In case you didn't know, you're supposed to buy the wood to put in the stove. You're not supposed to send your daughters to the neighbors when it's dark and take a few pieces.

It was a wonderful time in our lives! It's so fun to be in 8th grade and live in "The Icky House" :) That year, my youngest sister, Megan, had this amazing teacher. She knew our family wasn't going to be having much at Christmas. So, she put us on every charity known to man.

We weren't aware of that until we get a knock on the door one day during Christmas break. My sisters and I were home alone but I wisely opened the door anyway.

A man was standing there with groceries and presents! So, of course I let him in. We were excited for the gifts but more importantly, there was food!

We arranged the presents around the tree.

An hour or so later. We get another knock on the door.

Uh huh. More gifts. More food.

When someone knocked the third time, the three of us looked at each other and the ever-growing mound of gifts under the Christmas tree. We were brilliant I tell you! We each grabbed some presents and hid them. We wouldn't want the next person to see how many we had and then take them to an actual needy family!

I think we ended up answering the door three or four times. Each with food and presents.

It was amazing. And even though at the time we weren't "church goin" folk, I knew. I knew He was providing. I knew He was letting us know He loved us.

His birthday, but He gave us the presents.

It was a great Christmas. "Icky House" and all.

A lil Tired

but that doesn't mean I won't answer the measly whole two questions I have left to answer.

My sister thought she'd outwit me and ask "why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle."

Pfft, I do have a husband you know. Who's smart. Good thing because I was about to google why it didn't stick to the inside. But Josh says it doesn't stick because it doesn't get air, so it can't dry.

Neener neener.

Then, Melissa decided to ask twice what my favorite high school memory was.

I can't think of just one. So, you get a few. Probably a lot.

One of my faves was my freshman year, I was in Home Ec. with 3 guys who cracked me up the entire semester. Matt, Aaron and Trace. I got in trouble everyday because of them. One day we had to cook. We were given a recipe and the exact amount of ingredients to use, basically, just follow the recipe and put 'er together. When we were done, we were to call the teacher over and she'd sample it. I was at a different cook station than the boys but could see them. Very early into the recipe, they messed up. And they didn't have extra ingredients. So, they started pilfering through the garbage can to see what the class before them had left. They used ingredients out of the garbage can!!! And when they were done they called her over to taste test their food. I was laughing hysterically. I couldn't control myself.
Wow, that was a long one. Maybe I'll post more of them later.

As a side note, we spent the weekend in Leavenworth with my friend Lindsey and her family. So beautiful there this time of year. I'll post a few pictures tomorrow.

Hope you all had a great weekend.

Da Answers to Yer Questions

Treena, my SIL, asked:

Why do you only like gifts in a box and not a bag?

Well, as much as surprises drive me nuts, I love them. And I feel like a gift in a bag means the surprise is over that much faster. If it's in a box and wrapped, you have to peel off the paper and then get the box open. And sometimes you have a warped parent who has duct taped your box closed, so it takes even longer to open. Not that I have one of those warped parents or anything...

Treena also asked:

What is your all time favorite treat?

Oh bugger, I dunno. That's so tough. I have such a sweet tooth, or 20. Your chocolate chip cookies are definitely up there on the list. But as a kid, my favorite treat was on Friday nights. We'd have tacos, with a Pepsi, and then after dinner my mom popped popcorn and we had M&M's. So, that was super special too. Man, I think I'm gonna have to think on this one awhile.

Kristie asked:

Did you pick a name for the baby?

In short, no.

In long, we have a couple names we're liking. I'll tell you what they are and if you all don't like 'em. Pffft. :)

For a boy, we like Scott. I have a friend named Scott and I've always loved the name. And it helps when you know someone with the name and you like them. I love the name Silas, too, but my husband went to school with a boy named Silas, and he had a ponytail and my husband now refuses to even consider the name.

For a girl, we like Sadie. If we'd not chosen Jaylee for our firstborn, she would've been Sadie. However, since Jaylee was born, another little girl in our family has been born and her name is Sabrie. So, we aren't real sure if we can do that. It's just too close I think. Next up, would be Esther. I love it. And it's growing on my husband.

We don't have middle names whatsoever, and we still have five months, so I'm sure this will all change!

Erica, my sister, asked:

What is your all-time favorite book?
Who are you most afraid of Meg or me?

All-time fave, huh? I'm thinking the Mark of Lion trilogy by Francine Rivers. These books increased my faith and Francine Rivers can paint pictures in your head. I loved them.

Who am I most afraid of? I really would like to say I'm not skerd of either one of you, seeing as how you are four years younger and Meg is six years younger. But it would be a lie. You both terrify me. And the image I can't get out of my head is the time you guys bloodied your knuckles on each other, just for funsies. So, I'd say it's pretty equal. I fear you both. You're both ruthless. And it all boils down to the fact that I'm a lover not a fighter.

Corie asked:

If you could spend a day with one person, who would it be and why?

My dad. Hands down. Why? Because my time with him was so short. I will always praise the Lord for the last year I spent with him. I was 19 when he died. And the last year he was alive, Josh would drop me off at my dad's house on his way to work and I'd work with my dad during the day. I didn't know him very well growing up, so it was really an awesome time for us. I'd really just like one more day. Just one.

You can keep 'em coming, I'll answer more if you have them. Thanks for giving me something to blog about today.

How About YOU do the Work, eh?

I've gots me a bits of Blogger's Block. I went on a blogging frenzy yesterday and used up so much amazing material that now I've not a blasted thing to blog about.

There's a blog I've started lurking (just like the many of you who lurk and don't leave comments, yes, I know you're there!) and saw that she (whom after I've lurked awhile, I'm sure I'll linky to her) had her amazing blogging readers and lurkers ask her questions because she, just like me, was having a bit of Blogger's Block.

So, to you, my faithful readers, who comment and lurkers who do not comment, now's your big ol' chance.

You may ask me a question. You may ask three questions, or maybe 11. It's your choice. I'll probably answer anything. Probably. You may ask your questions in the comments section (*gasp* some of you may have to come out of Lurkerdom!) and then at the end of this amazing day, hopefully I'll have something to blog about.

Christmas Questionnaire

Since I've only blogged twice today, why not another?! questionnaire

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping Paper! I hate gift bags!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Real. You just can't beat that Freshly-Chopped-Tree-Smell.
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually 2nd weekend in December. I get claustrophobic if it's in my house too long.

4. When do you take the tree down? Christmas day after we open presents.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yeah, it's okay. Mixed with some Bailey's. :)

6. Favorite gift received as a child? New Kids on the Block everything. Pillow, sleeping bag, posters, cassette tapes. Oh how I loved them. Oh, and an engagement ring 9 years after that.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yeah, it's kinda cutesie though. I'd prefer a more adult looking one. You know, because I'm so mature and all.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Boys. My father-in-law, brothers-in-law. I just don't like buying for boys!

9. Easiest person to buy for? My sister Megan, she loves anything.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. I actually did that this year! Yeah.Me!

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmm...who reads this? lol, just kidding...Ohhh, the Christmas that Joshua bought me my engagement ring, he also bought me a couple of dresses. Horrid. Horrid. I tell you. I smiled. Thanked him and I think I actually wore them. Once.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Charlie Brown

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Day after Christmas. But the best shopping day of all is Black Friday.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Those dresses I was just telling you about...

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sugar cookies. Almond Roca. Banana bread.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored, because that's what my husband likes.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Lil Drummer Boy and Silent Night.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? A little of both but luckily this year we get to stay home on Christmas Day!!!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes, and did you know it's Donder and not Donner? I thought it was Donner. It's not. At least that's not how they say it on Ernest Saves Christmas.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve at my aunt's house. But I like what Michelle said, that they usually open one, like jammies on Christmas Eve. Think we might start doing that.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The weather getting ugly and keeping people from getting into town.

23. What do you want for Christmas this year? Love Spell body wash and lotion from Victoria's Secret.

24. Favorite ornament theme or color? Not sure. I bought some tacky ornaments and I'm loving those, so I think my old wood ornaments are out for next year. Tacky it will be!

25. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Sugar Cookies. Almond Roca. Banana bread. :)

A Christmas Memory

The month of December stirs so many memories. I'll share a few.

This is my twelfth Christmas with my husband.

The first Christmas, I was 16 and we'd barely known each other over a month. He got me a stuffed bear and a tub of popcorn. I got him a wallet.

The second Christmas, I was 17 and we'd been dating just over a year. He got me an engagement ring, and I don't have a clue what I got him.

Our first Christmas as a married couple was strange for me. I was 18. Still so immature and used to the traditions my mom had instilled in me while growing up. I was used to getting a tree the first weekend of December (and watching my mom use a kitchen knife to trim it to fit in the stand) and I was used to a bunch of decorations and Christmas baking and Christmas songs and wrapping presents.

And there was none of that. And it was turning out to be the worst first married Christmas, ever! I may have shared before, so forgive me if I repeat myself, but we had no tree for the longest time. A few days before Christmas, we'd eaten dinner and I was fed up. I got up from the table and started to head out the door.

"Where you going?" He asks.

"I'ma gonna git me a tree!" I answered.

I was tired of waiting and in my stubborn mind I realized, "my mom didn't wait around for any man so she could get a Christmas tree, I don't need to either!"

Such a naughty frame of mind.

He went with me. And neither of us was happy. We got the lil thing home and I realized-we had no decorations. I wish I'd known more about making stuff on my own then, I could've made some ornaments. Instead, I bought a "first ornament" I also cut out a snowflake and I think my mom bought us an ornament too.

So...we had three ornaments that first year.

Each Christmas since has gotten better. I'm not nearly as stubborn and I'm enjoying the traditions that we've started as our own family. One being, we go up in the hills and cut down our own tree. This year, Josh took a day off and we left early in the morning, went sledding and then hunted the "perfect" tree.
Jaylee loved sledding and she loved playing in the snow.
But I think she liked eating it even more.
This isn't the tree we chose, but it's where Jaylee chose to take a rest and pose for a picture.

We got the tree home and Jaylee wanted nothing to do with decorating it. But she was excited to help put the star up.

And here she is, in here finished glory.


While I enjoy the memories and traditions my mom had for my sisters and me growing up, I take them and add to them, instead of having my mind set that things have to be the way they were when I was little. Feel free to share a Christmas tradition your family has.

19 weeks and 3 days

is not cute on me. Good thing my hair is!

Sorry I didn't post a picture last night. Jaylee got a fever and then started vomitting, that was fun.

I'm not a fan of this picture but really, who am I trying to impress?

Did I mention my husband moved the computer to our scary basement? That's why you see scary stuff all around me. At least it's warm in the basement.

Anyway, there are the matching hair and eyebrows. I'm rather enjoying it.

I Gots My Hair Did

My mother came over this morning to watch my child so I could go get my hair did. It was going to just be a cut but I decided to get 'er colored, too.

Husband asked what color.

"I'm going back to my natural color."

"Do we know what your natural color is?"

Since I had about 5" of roots, I thought she'd be able to work with that.

And she did. And now my hair matches my eyebrows. Amazing how that can be. It's been 13 years since they've done that!

Then I continued driving. I drove to a mall. All by myself. For hours! Did I mention I was all by myself? I was.

I was and I was lonely.

I passed the Cinnabon and a lady and her lil girl were sharing a milk and Cinnabon and I missed my lil girl (and I missed a Cinnabon, too).

But I pressed on. I finished my Christmas shopping. And I came home to a sweet girl I'd missed so much. It's so weird to me how I can miss her when I am with her 24! Hours! A! Day! EVERYDAY! But I did miss her.

And it was good to snuggle her when I got home.

And it's good to have eyebrows that match my hair.

Bugger, it's Monday

Usually I'm a fan of Mondays but today I'm tired. So, I'd like it to be Saturday. Then I could ask Josh to take care of Jaylee while I nap. Ooooh how nice that would be.

Friday night Amber and I went to my church's Ladies Dessert and Ornament Exchange. While there, I told a couple of the ladies I wanted a dad for Christmas. I've picked the perfect man for my mother. I tell them who he is and they agree. And he just happens to be at the church that night. Considered asking him first, "can you swim?" because really, that's important ya know?

But I didn't ask him that.

Instead I added to my most embarrassing moments list.

He was standing out by my car as we were leaving, so...I took a deep breath and said, "Mr. Jonas, do you date?"

His reply: "I'm married."

Thought about then asking, "So, that probably puts a damper on you marrying my mother?"

His wife doesn't come to church. I apologized, felt a bit sheepish, and told him I'd be praying for her.

I was really embarrassed. But mostly I'm sad. I really wanted him to be my dad for Christmas. I really wanted him to marry my mommy.

Guess I'll have to find another random man to ask if he dates. I just really had my heart set on that one.

For your enjoyment...

Amber made this for us. Us as in her and me but I'll say us as in you all and me.

She's on the left. I'm on the right. I can't stop watching it. Tears are streaming down my face. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Click here.

Jesus vs. Santa

*edited below*

Growing up my sisters and I believed in Santa Claus. We believed he came through the imaginary chimney of every apartment, house, duplex or fifth wheel we lived in. The smaller gifts under the tree were from our Mom but our main present said, "Love Santa" (in my mom's handwriting, just took me a few years to put that together).

I remember the day I found out Santa wasn't real. But even more, I remember the day my sister Erica found out he wasn't real.

Because I was the one who told her.

She was pestering me. Driving me nuts. The way younger sisters are supposed to I guess.

And I was a mean-spirited older sister. So, I told her. And she was crushed. Broke her heart. I actually felt bad for hurting her feelings. And I felt even worse when she sobbed to my mom about it and I got in trouble.

Growing up, Josh's family didn't do the whole Santa deal. Their emphasis was on Jesus. That Christmas was about Jesus. Growing up, we weren't part of a church, so I had no clue that was what Christmas was about.

When we got married we talked about what we'd have our children believe.

We didn't see eye-to-eye. He said our children wouldn't believe in Santa. I said they would. He told me that that's not what Christmas is about. I agreed but debated, "what harm is there in letting a child believe in something for a little while?"

He really had no answer.

It was a really good thing Jaylee wasn't born for seven years after that.

Before Jaylee was born, I was talking to my Aunt McKenna. She has a son a few years older than Jaylee and I remember talking to her about what her and my uncle were going to do for Landon at Christmas. Let him believe or not believe in Santa.

The response she gave me changed my heart toward allowing a child to believe in Santa Claus.

She told me they would not be talking about Santa at Christmas. She said that her and my uncle wanted Landon to trust them. How could they let him believe in Santa, whom he can see (on television, at Wal Mart, etc.) and also teach him about Jesus, whom he can't see, and then down the road, saaay when he's seven or eight, break the truth to him that Santa isn't real? First, he'd probably not understand being lied to and second, if they lied to him about Santa being real, who's to say that Jesus is real then?

Her point hit me. And I had to tell Josh he was right, it'd be best not to allow our children to believe in Santa.

I don't want to mislead Jaylee. I want her to trust me. And allowing her to believe in Santa, even for a few years, would be lying to her.

Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

*yes, I took Jaylee to get her pictures taken with Santa (not that it worked out). She was afraid. Asked who he was, so I told her he was a clown. A guy who dresses in silly clothes. She replies with, "oh." When she's older we'll discuss it further.*

Ever just wanna cuss?

Not me. Never me. I never use naughty words. At least not out loud...very often...

It's just been one of those days. One of those days where it's already bad and it's not even 9 a.m.!

I've done my dishes, well my dishwasher has done my dishes, I sent my Christmas cards out (then had a panic attack that people would think they are ugly) (I made my own this year) I got coffee for the husband that lately I'm adoring more than ever, I've bathed my child, cut her toenails and fingernails, cleaned out her ears, checked on her dog bite (which is almost non-existant now) I've gotten dressed (including a bra!), brushed my teeth and made banana bread.

I feel like I've accomplished alot in the 2 and a half hours I've been awake.

But it just feels like a bad day.

And I don't know why.

And I hate this feeling.

Okay, done venting now. At least for the moment.

Our Weekend

We had such a great weekend!

It started with Friday. Amber calls and tells me she'd like to watch Jaylee so Josh and I can go on a date. I'd really been wanting to do this but we don't have a babysitter and she's fun to have along, so we usually just take her. However, it had been one of those days that I just needed some time with my husband and once again, Amber pulls through! (Seriously not sure what I'd do without ya sometimes.)

We enjoyed dinner together and then went to my sister Megan's house and hung out there for a bit. They have an XBox 360 and Guitar Hero, which I've never heard of or played. But I got the chance and it was okay. I lack in the rhythm department and I think it's a crucial part of the game. And...I'll be honest, if I'm not the best at something right away, I don't want to play. I'm a brat like that. :)

Saturday we were up bright and early. Maybe not bright but it was early. 6:30 early. We had to park Josh's parents camp trailer downtown for the 19th Annual Sunnyside's Lighted Farm Implement Parade. It's very redneck but it's so fun!

After we parked the trailer, we SMT'd, then I took Josh to work and headed over for pictures with Santa at a local breakfast place. We joined Amber and her girls. Jaylee refused to go near Santa. She turned her head away from him. After that we drove across town for Sugar Cookie Decorating with Mrs. Claus. They provide the cookies and every possible cookie topper imaginable. Jaylee just ate it all. She downed icing, sprinkles, worms, marshmallows, milk, frosting and the list could go on. While busy "decorating" her cookie, Santa shows up behind her. She didn't know at first, kept "decorating", but then it was as if she smelled him (which is quite possible.) And the staredown began.

She didn't take her eyes off him. She leaned back and stared. He was making funny faces at her and she was immobile. Then, she started to tremble. He lost the staredown. Left. And she went back to eating sugar. I'll get a picture up soon for you to see. It really was hilarious.

After Joshua got off work we hooked an innertube to the 3-Wheeler and raced around the pasture. Jaylee got cold and went in for a nap and the neighbor kids came to entertain my husband. He drove them around the pasture for quite awhile.

Evening came and so did the parade! We took Amber's girls with us and the three girls sat on the sidewalk and watched in wonder as the floats and big rigs passed by with all their lights. They were so good and we all had a hoot.

Yep, that was our weekend. Simple but fun. Just the way we like it.

She's Moving!!!

Uh huh, I'm calling the baby a she. More importantly, she's moving. Today I'm really feeling her. Love it. It's fun. I'm actually pregnant and not just ill for funsies.

I'll post later about our hilarious weekend.