Nothin' to Say

I'm here. I'm alive. Sorry I haven't posted for a coupla days. Hate when I go to certain blogs that haven't been updated, so here I am. Updating. Ahem...Amber...

Nothing new to share really. Haven't posted 'cause I haven't been feeling so hot. Even though I'm not thoroughly enjoying being pregnant at the moment, I'm thankful.

Looking forward to the weekend. Nothing is planned and I'm excited for it. Basically I'd just like to sleep the entire time. That'd be fine-ola by me!

I got a bicycle today. That's big news! I'll have Josh take my picture and I'll show ya later. Hopefully I still remember how to ride. :)

Have a great weekend, hopefully I'll have something exciting to blog about come Monday.

Take Care!

Out of the Mouths of Brats...er...Babes

This morning, my sweet daughter and I were laying on my bed. She has a book with a bunch of different animals on it. I start asking her what sounds they make.

What does a cow say? Moooo

What does a kitty say? meeoooww

What does a dog say? wuff wuff!

What does Mommy say? oink oink



She's lucky I let her live.

Our Poor Neighbors

I've come to the conclusion that my husband and I are just weird people. And that's okay. Because you are, too. Don't try to deny it, in some way, you're weird.

Just face the facts.

I had to last night...

Last night when my husband was dancing around on our bed in his underbritches, swinging a towel around trying to kill mosquitoes.

Here's the deal. We've become infested with skeeters and I don't know why or how but they have taken over our bedroom and it's making me insane. I cannot stand to shut the light off and hear them buzzing around. So, as soon as I hear them, I turn on the light and my poor husband has to try to find them and kill 'em.

Last night I was sooo exhausted that I put the lamp in bed with me so I wouldn't have to reach for it to turn it on, I could just have it right there.

I shut it off. And the buzzing started.

I flip it on and Josh jumps up, towel in hand...he's armed and dangerous. We did this several times until finally, finally there was no buzzing. It took approximately 43 minutes to kill them all.

Did I mention we don't have curtains or blinds on our bedroom windows?

He Really is Amazing

Yesterday Josh calls when he gets off work to inform me he's going to deposit his check and run some errands and asked if Amber was still at the house. I told him she was. Normally I get sad when he doesn't come home right away but I had Amber there to keep me company (and clean my house).

When he finally shows up, he gives us these. A bouquet for each of us. No reason. Just because. He really amazes me sometimes. I mean, I know he's a great guy and all...but this was really amazing. Don't ask why I have a hat on my head, I really don't know. Maybe I was cold. Maybe I'm just a weirdo. Most likely the latter. Here's a picture of the sweet man himself. He's so adorable. Yesterday I realized just how much I take him for granted. He goes to work without complaint. He takes out the trash without being asked. He brushes my hair. He changes diapers without being asked. He can fix stuff. By stuff, I mean anything that is broken. I don't know how he does it but he can fix just 'bout anything. He's really good with directions. He has the most amazing smile. I just love him.

I really do.

Shaving is Overrated

Today is a day of miracles. Of sort. How? Why? You ask.

I shaved my legs.

This may not seem like a miracle but I'm thinking the last time I shaved them was back in July, so for the razor to whack down the forest of hairs growing on my legs is indeed a miracle. Of course I equipped the good ol' girl with a new blade but still.

I tried to take a picture of my legs beforehand but seeing as how they haven't had much sun this summer, the glare was too intense for the camera and it turned out to be just a picture of a very bright light.

So, why today did I shave my legs? You might be thinking, "Oh, it's Friday, maybe she has a date with her hot husband tonight?" If you're thinking that, you're incorrect.

No, I shaved the bad boys because I had "the" appointment today. You know the one. The one us humans with female genitalia just luhuhuhuv. The entire time I was shaving I was worried Jaylee had gone outside, run passed the pasture and into the road. I keep yelling, "Jayleeeee!?" and she keeps yelling, "whaaat?!" She'd come in and say hi then return to whatever it was she was doing. Most likely something she's not supposed to do. Also while shaving, I'm reminded why I don't do this on a daily or weekly basis. It takes forever. I could have been doing dishes, reading a book, blogging, folding laundry, knitting...okay, I don't knit...but still. You get the picture.

Shaving my legs is torturous to me. I get bored. I drift off into LaLa Land. And this time I almost fell asleep during the second leg. The results could have been quite dangerous. I just realized yet another reason it's beneficial for me not to shave my legs. You know how "they" say that wearing black is slimming? Well...my legs did look much skinnier before I stripped 'em.

Poor lil buggers, now everyone will know I have cankles.

Feeling Loved

I love, love days like today.

This morning I take Jaylee to the park. At the beginning of the summer, we'd go for coffee (no, I don't give her coffee) and then to the park. The first few times she'd cry as we left and I'd explain to her little self that she needs to thank mama and be glad for the time she got to spend with the toys. Pretty sure she heard blah blah blah toys, blah blah.

The park is small and full of orange clad inmates. Seriously. They clean the park in the morning. And honestly, I go in the morning because I feel safer than later in the day when more people are out. We say hi to our inmate friends and Jaylee plays on the toys.

This morning was no different. Coffee. Inmates. Toys. We haven't been to the park in a couple of weeks and I was just sure we'd have drama as we left.

Me: Okay, Jaylee, it's time to go home.

Jaylee: getting off the toy Thank you, Mama for toys. Byyyye tow-weeees!

And off we go. No drama. Just a sweet lil girl who warmed my heart and made me realize maybe, just maybe she'll turn out okay.

Then, I come home. Check my email and the blogs I love. And come upon Melissa's post for the day. Made me one happy Sarah, I tell you what. Melissa designs and creates cards and then sells them. One card is about me. And I feel honored beyond honored that "You...are a kick in the pants" is about me. Go check her blog out and go check her Etsy as well.

Have a great day!

How many pairs of BGP's can one girl own?

I promise you the next nine months (or as Halle Berry believes, 10 months) will not be me complaining about my pregnancy.

I promise.

But today I'm going to ask for your prayers. While I absolutely loved being pregnant with Jaylee, I was sick. Sick beyond any sickness, ever. I worked at Pier 1 for the first few months of my pregnancy and I'd just lay in the boys' bathroom for most of the day. It wasn't fun. And I wondered what the heck I was getting myself into. After three and a half months, the life inside me stopped trying to take mine and I actually began enjoying being pregnant.

I've felt pretty good so far. You know, the whole three weeks I've been pregnant. :) But this morning...not so much. I started to have a panic attack about it because I remember three years ago and how I wanted to just die. So, I ate some toast, and asked the Lord to just help me endure the sickness if I had to be sick but that I'd really enjoy if He'd just make it go away altogether. :)

It's been over an hour and I'm feeling much better. He is so good to me.

Anyway, I'm just asking that you pray that I'm not sick this go-around and that if I am, that I'll put on my BGP's and deal with it.

To Chad and Treena

Congratulations, you guys! Love ya!

Details details

Camping trip: It all boils down to the fact that I survived it. There was nothing forgotten, whew. There were no bugs, praise the Lord. And amazingly, it never rained. We were up at Mt. Rainier, you'd think I would have taken pictures. You'd think. But I just realized that I take for granted the fact that I only live 2 hours away from this magnificent creation that I didn't even consider taking pictures of it.

Let me check photobucket...maybe they have some photos. I could step outside and probably snap a picture, but there may be some trees in the way. Photobucket is so much easier. Oh forget it, I'll find one later....

The couples who came were great. It was alot of fun to meet new people, even though that is my least favorite thing to do. Seriously, I'd rather pretend we know each other than have to shake hands and be introduced. Yeah, I know...I have issues.

We had great food, awesome fellowship and I even endured a hike. Maybe it was only 2.2 miles, but still! I hiked!!

Out of 12 girls that attended, five are pregnant. Three of them named Sarah, one of them being....yours truly. Uh huh, I am. Wow. Kinda crazy to say it, er...write it out loud. But I am and we are thrilled!!! My wonderful husband wanted me to keep it a secret until November!!! Yeahhh, right! Could hardly talk to my SIL for the week after I found out because he didn't want me telling her and I couldn't talk to her and not tell her, so I hardly called or emailed in that time. (Did you notice?!)

So, after the camping trip, Josh decides to head to his sister's house. Seriously, three hours south, so we can tell her in person. He says he just wanted to do something crazy but I think he knew that I'd want to tell her in person and he was right.

We get there, we chat for a bit and she asks, "do you have something to tell me?" Yeah, she already knew. I guess we have been friends for almost 11 years, I'm probably not too hard to read anymore. They're excited for us and it was fun to go down and hang out, even if it was just real quick.

My younger sister is due to have a baby any day and my mom has been bugging me that she doesn't want six grandchildren, she wants seven. So, I was able to tell her that she'll now have seven. Pretty thrilled that lady was. Three daughters and seven grandkids in three years. She loves it.

Anyway, there's my super long post of America. No bears, just lots of pregnant girls. It was a good time and we'll probably go next year...baby and all.

Sigh...

I'm home!!! I'm home!!! We got home from the ever so lovely camping trip and decided at around 9 pm on Sunday night to drive to my SIL's for some random fun. This wouldn't be such a big deal but she lives 3 hours south of us. So, I ran back in the house, repacked our bags and off we went!

We had a blast, even though the trip was extremely short.

I'm getting reading for Amber to come over, so I must go now. I'll fill ya in on all the juicy details of my weekend later, I know you're just dying to know.

Happy Tuesday!!!

Sometimes ya just gotta suck it up

I don't like to camp. Not.at.all. I don't see it as a vacation. I don't like to be dirty and sticky. I don't like bugs. I don't like to go on "fun, little trail hike" things.

I'm just not a fan of the whole camping thing.

But I'm going this weekend. Yee.Haw.

We're going with the Couples Group from church. We went last year and it was toootally outta my comfort zone (Mindy) because we didn't know many of the couples yet. But it was fun and we made friends, which surprised me because I was myself the ENTIRE weekend.

I'm sure it's going to rain the whole weekend and bugs will raid our food and tent. Thinking there will be bears, too. Hoping no one notices the fact that I haven't shaved my legs in about a month, personally, just find it too time consuming. I also think I'll end up forgetting something extemely important and not knowing until it's too late. Hopefully it's not the tent.

Since I'm going to have a fantabulous weekend, I sure hope you do as well!!!

She's Funny.

I've told Amber a few times she should start her own blog. She's hilarious. She has kids, a husband, a dog and other issues. Perfect blogging material.

But she would say, "noooo."

Then, last night, she sends me a message that she's started one but she might delete it.

Me: I'm looking forward to reading your blog.

Her: Well, don't hold your breath.

Me: Holding my breath.

Her: Well, then say hi to your dad for me.

Seriously, laughed so hard. Love this girl.

Today is the day. The day that I put on my BGP's (Big Girl Panties) and realize I haven't been a size 2 for almost 3 years and I'm likely not to be, again. But I held onto that dream these last 3 years and held onto the clothes as well. They're boxed into two tubs, labeled "Skinny Clothes" and today is the first time in a long time I've allowed myself to look at them.

Clothes bring back so many memories. The outfit I wore to the Gary Allan concert, my first size small, GAP, cableknit sweater, in PINK, that I oh so loved. The $118 GAP skirt I bought in Kentucky for $19.99! (Remember Mindy!?) So many clothes, so much money spent on clothes.

While I was going through them, Josh was here for lunch, he could tell I was sad. He asked, "if you were that size again, how many of those shirts would you actually wear?"

And he's right. I've changed alot since I was able to wear them, many of the shirts are pretty snug, or if I leaned over, would show my back...and well, I'm just not into that. One shirt actually says, "Angels on the road to ruin little lost girls." I didn't know it when I bought it, just loved that it was part tank top, part t-shirt, if that makes any sense. The lettering blends in so much I didn't even know what it said. A little embarrassed by it now.

So, I'm in the process of getting everything washed. I signed up to sell on eBay. Once everything is washed and dried, I'll be putting "lots" together of shirts, skirts and pants.

Yes, I'm sad. But I realized I'm hoarding. I can't take those clothes with me when I die. I obviously can't wear them right now. So, someone ought to be able to.

Pretty ridiculous that it's taken me so long to do this, but I'm doing it and that makes me proud of me.

I love Crayons!

You Are a Blue Crayon

Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors. You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find. On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front. Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying.

What Color Crayon Are You?

I really think it fits me, even if I hate to admit being moody! :) If the shoe fits...right?

Sombreros and Kenny Chesney make for a Great Birthday

Amber's special day is over but the memories...oh they were good. I made a crown for Ms. Amber and she wore it proudly.
We went for Mexican food. Our server wasn't too keen on us and we still don't know why. But she brought the crew out to sing to Amber, sombrero and all!
We didn't understand anything they sang but for the rest of the day, Amber referred to herself as "Panchita." Later in the evening we went to Amber's parents for dinner and cake. Food was great (so was the company) and the gifts were wonderful...can't go wrong with some Kenny Chesney CD's! Think I may have grabbed her rear to get her to smile. Hey, it worked, didn't it?! Hope you had a great day, Amber, it was fun being a part of it.

They say it's Your Birthday!!!

dun uh, dun uh!

Happy Birthday to the greatest girl ever.

My "anonymous" friend, Amber.

Amber, who joined the cancer club with Melissa and me.

Amber, who couldn't throw the cone out of the 'possum fast enough, resulting in us getting caught.

Amber, who drove 400 miles with me to see the 20 year anniversary of Dirty Dancing on The Big Screen.

Amber, who painted my toenails while I lay in a hopsital bed with an IV hooked to me and a 6" gash in my tummy.

Amber, who has made me PJAL, one too many times.

The Amber whose nose is 1/2 a rolo larger than mine, had to point that out. And Amber, who loves Grey's, so much we decide to marry the characters. Seriously, without this girl, not sure what I'd do. She gets me...and still likes me. She's also the girl who stole the last two drops of wine that were in my glass. She's the girl who makes it hard to cook for because she doesn't like onions and mushrooms and I don't know how to cook a meal without those two things. Serving her cereal next time. Today, we're going to lunch. Just us. No children. Which is really exciting because we always, I repeat, always have children. (Not sure whose children they are, but they follow us) I have a present for her. Not quite as cool as the "I carried a watermelon" t-shirt she gave me for mine but it's still a fun gift. So, "Ammer" here's to you and YOUR big day! Happy Birthday, I love ya!

The Heart and Hurt of a Child

Since I haven't blogged enough today for a months worth of posts, here's another!

This weekend I was around a young mother I've known for quite a while. Neither of her children were "planned" so to speak and she had them both at a pretty young age. They are fairly willful children and if they were mine, I'm sure I'd have a bumper sticker that read, "my children drove me to drink." But that doesn't change the fact that they are still children. And children are needy.

I heard the most heartbreaking words come from this young mom's mouth to her older child, but in the same breath she's praising another child that is not her own. Her young child, not quite three, looked defeated. I'm not going to defend what the child was doing. It was wrong. However, I'm learning that when your child does wrong, deal with it in private. Humiliating your child will not make you a better parent in the eyes of your friends or family. And it will not cause your child to behave any better or trust you-at all.

I want my little girl to know that I believe she's number one. I may love my nieces and my nephews and my friends' children, but she will always be number one to me. I want her to be secure in my love for her. I never want my words to crush her and make her cry out to another mom to take her home with her.

This post most likely makes no sense. I can't find the words to say what I'm wanting to express. My heart was just breaking for this small child. And I wanted to share this story in case there is a parent out there who shows favor to another child besides his/her own and may not have realized it. It's so easy to become blind to our own habits that we can often times forget who those habits hurt the most.

Others.

If you've read these already, #52-66 are new

love cats but have a dog.

2. My favorite color (at the moment) is red.

3. I chew my fingernails.

4. I don't like it when people chew with their mouths open.

5. I love to laugh and make others laugh, too.

6. I'm afraid of heights.

7. I'd rather hold a snake than a spider.

8. If my house were on fire and I could only grab 3 personal items (assuming husband and child are safely outta the house) they would be:
a. my scrapbooks
b. my KitchenAid mixer-it's red!! My best anniversary gift yet!
c. Jaylee's baby keepsakes

9. I love to have my hair played with.

10. My first boyfriend's name was Rusty. I was in 6th grade, he was in 5th grade.

11. I have two sisters.

12. Both younger than me.

13. But I'm the shortest.

14. I love chocolate.

15. I love to cook.

16. I've had 1 speeding ticket and 3 seat belt tickets.

17. The last seat belt ticket should have been a speeding ticket, I was racing the cop. He let me off easy.

18. My middle name is Lee. Yes, like the baked goods. Sarah Lee. But I have an 'H' that makes me cooler.

19. I don't like to be a passenger in a car unless it's my husband or father-in-law driving.

20. If it didn't snow or rain ever, I'd just own 37 million pairs of flip flops. Love those.

21. My dad drown in a boating accident when I was 19.

22. I now have an irrational fear of the water.

23. I'm trying to get over it.

24. I love receiving gifts, but prefer to have them in a box and wrapped. No gift bags, makes the opening go too fast.

25. I'm 26.5 years old.

26. I have a My Space account. It's been fun to connect with friends from High School that I haven't talked to in 9 years.

27. I'm still close to 3 of the 4 girls I had as bridesmaids in my wedding.

28. My husband is my best friend.

29. I knew I was going to marry him before I even knew his name. I'm serious. I just knew.

30. I'm 20 lbs overweight.

31. I can't believe I just admitted that.

32. I want to homeschool my daughter.

33. I'd rather clean 100 toilets than do dishes.

34. I watch Grey's Anatomy.

35. I wish I could stop but I'm terribly addicted! :)

36. I no longer have a cell phone.

37. I just started clipping coupons from the Sunday paper, that is so fun!

38. My favorite food is Mexican.

39. I love Sangrias.

40. After 22 years my sister and I are friends.

41. I threatened to run away when I was 4.

42. My mom offered to help me pack.

43. I didn't get far.

44. I love to scrapbook. I use Close to My Heart products.

45. I love to mow the lawn.

46. We used to own our own lawnmowing business.

47. I sell Pampered Chef.

48. I'd rather have McDonald's than Burger King.

49. I don't like to make New Years Resolutions.

50. But I'm going to this year.

51. I'm done tidbittin'....for now!

52. I drove 400 miles round trip to see Dirty Dancing on the big screen. It was the 20 year anniversary. I had the time of my life.

53. 4 of the previous 51 tidbits have changed.

54. I was caught driving by the house of a kid from school, while a certain friend of mine (Amber) threw a road construction cone in his yard...3 weeks ago.

55. I PJAL'd (peed just a lil) when that happened.

56. I love to go bowling.

57. I'm terrible at it.

58. My favorite author is Karen Kingsbury.

59. I don't think I've done any of the things on my list of New Years Resolutions.

60. I can't bake a pie. I don't make really yummy chocolate chip cookies, like Treena, but let me tell ya, I make a mean bowl of cereal.

61. Taco Salad is my favorite thing to have for dinner.

62. I don't eat meat anymore. Well, not very often anyway.

63. I have curly hair.

64. That I got from my dad.

65. My shoe size is 6.5

66. I've posted on my blog 3 times already today. Quite obvious that I have a clean house and sleeping child.

Alright...there's a few more just-so-super-exciting-you-just-had-to-know stuff about me!

For those of you that are Grey's freaks like myself. Here's a sneak peak of what's to come.

One more month. Just one. And life will begin again! Woo Hoo!

Something not to do in the Car

You know how when you're at church, during worship and your heart just fills with praise and you close your eyes to thank the Lord for all that He is?

Well, this morning, I'm driving to get coffee (so much for cutting back) and I'm listening to some song, can't even remember it now and I close my eyes...

...and then I realize, whoa! I'm driving, can't be doin' that while I'm driving! Just have to have a heart of praise with my eyes open this time.

@#$%

See, there was a reason I didn't want to tell you! Right after I get finished publishing my last post I went out to my MIL's school to help with her classroom, she offers to buy lunch....

and that's right. I did it. I fell off 'er.



And by the picture you'd think it was a graceful fall. That I didn't mean to, it just sorta happened while I was looking at the pretty flowers. But no, I didn't fall off my wagon. I jumped ship! She ordered burgers from this wonderful little, greasy stand, that quite honestly I'm not sure how it's still running, legally. And that burger, mmmmm. But after a couple of bites into it, I could feel the cow trying to kill me. So, I ripped off the bun...pulled him out...

and fed him to the kid.

Anyway, just felt completely guilty and had to confess.

Thanks for letting me play Catholic.

I'm Just Gonna Say It

I wasn't going to, in fear that I'd fall off the wagon of sorts and then be embarrassed. But, two weeks have passed, and I've yet to fall off my wagon.

This could be a case of TMI, but that's okay, we're all friends here. And who, among friends, has never talked about their digestive system, huh?

My digestive system: not so great. And now that my large intestine is two feet shorter than normal, I've decided to help it out.

By cutting out meat.

That's right ladies and jellybeans, I've gone vegetarian. This is no easy feat for someone who loves her red meat. I'm not one of those people who loves chicken and fish, they aren't my faves, not at all. Nope, I want a big fatty, still moo-ing chunk-o-steak. So, to give up my red meat is pretty tough.

When I first decided to "try" this out, and I say try like "try" because I never want to commit to anything because I usually fail miserably, Josh's first words...

"What are you going to eat when we go to McDonalds?"

Sad that we eat there so much that he's concerned I'll never eat again.

But I quickly figured out what I could eat. Get a McChicken, take the chicken part of the McChicken off and put in some french fries. So, I still have that crunch, just no meat. And as I'm writing this, I realize how "healthy" I'm trying to be while I eat at McDonalds. Pffft. Anyway...

So, it's been over two weeks and I've not eaten meat. Yeah, me. And I must say, I do feel better.

I'm not imposing this on my husband and child. I still cook it for them. The only time I'm tempted is when I cook bacon. That's the toughy. I've made a couple vegetarian meals and basically they just seem like side dishes. And I've learned I do not like eggplant. Bluuuhhhck! Not a fan. I've learned I like the Morning Star brand of veggie burgers over Boca. And I've learned eating lots of beans and vegetables causes, uh, gas. :)

For the most part it's not been too bad. My goal was to try this out for a month and see how it goes. 2 weeks down, 2 weeks to go!

I'll keep ya updated, 'cause I'm sure you really wanna know.

White Trash Version

Oh, the husband.

Sunday was my MIL's birthday. I made her cake. Since my name is Sarah Lee, it just wouldn't have been right for me not to make her cake.

I drove it over there on my own, seeing as how the husband took the child on a bike ride and was going to meet me over at the in-laws. I ask how I'm s'posed to get the cake over there without it falling all over the place.

He rigs something up. Leaves on his bike.

The first turn I make...

you guessed 'er, cake fell.

Praise the Lord it didn't fall completely off the pedestal plate I had it on. I pull over, grumbling that the husband would go for a bike ride at such an inopportune time. I kinda, sorta, but not very well fixed the cake.

We sing happy birthday. Husband is dishing ice cream and asks, in front of everyone mind you...

"Did you use a Sara Lee brand cake mix?"

"Nope, I used Duncan Hines. Had I used Sara Lee it would have been about 37 bucks for the box instead of 2."

"Oh, Sara Lee's an expensive brand?"

everyone in the room, in unison, "yes!"

"Well, then I'm glad I married the white trash version."

With everything that is on my "to do" list today, I'm sorta wishing I was back in the fifth wheel.

Would make cleaning go so much faster, seeing as how there was waaay less space.

This morning, as I looked at myself in the mirror (scary...scary sight first thing) I saw some greasy hair and realized, in the midst of all my self inflicted chaos the last couple of days, yeah...I've forgotten to shower. Uh huh, it's been three days since I last showered.

How gross am I!?

You don't have to answer, I already know.

A Bad Day gets Worse but Funny

Ready or not, here I rant.

Today is one of those days where I question my decision to be a stay at home mom.

I'm posting this, knowing full well it's possible I'll be looked down upon for what I say but it's also possible someone will hear and understand, have been there and know what to say.

She's just been making me crazy. I don't know what it is. Most likely it's me and my lack of patience. I am beyond selfish when it comes to time for me. I want it. I don't get enough of it. I get more "me time" than many SAHMs, but still I want more. Yet I can't even imagine time without her. I don't like being without her. But there are days, like this one, where I think I'm gonna go nuts!

We met Josh for lunch today and he commented how she was being overly talkative and whiny and didn't know how I do it all day. I was wondering too. Days like today push me to the edge.

The post title would make one think there's a funny part to the story. Oh there is...

So, after we have lunch at "McDunna" I decide to continue being out and about since we're always at home. We go to Penney's and they're having a shoe sale. Totally scored but that's beside the point...I have 4 pair of shoes, I set Jaylee in a chair, tell her to be still and stand in line. There are sunglasses for half off. The ones I own are real cheapies that I don't really care for, so I justify getting new ones. I find a pair I like and add it to my pile.

She rings me up, comments on how good Jaylee is, I say "thanks" but I'm thinking "want her?"

We leave. I pull out my new sunglasses, pull off the tags and stick 'em on.

We start to drive away and this man next to me is staring at me like I'm a weirdo. Which I am, but how does he know?! Yeah, so right now, about 2 minutes before I started typing this post I realize why.

On top of my head are my old sunglasses.

Uh huh, I was wearing both pair.

At the same time.

Like a moron.

It made me feel like an idiot but it was also funny. I had to laugh. Here I'd been taking myself and all my daily "trials" so seriously today and then I look like a goober in public.

"My name is Sarah, and I'm a moron."

When I have nothing to blog about, you get a video

This just about made me PJAL (pee just a lil)

Kinda panicked a lil bit...

Yesterday I came out of Lurkerdom, remember, it's an actual place...and in doing so, the girl whose post I commented on, ended up heading on over to my lil place and reading my blog! She even left a comment.

And then I panicked. Jeana...the girl I think is hil.air.ious, left a comment on my blog. I panicked because she is sooo funny and I realized I sooo am not. And once again I felt inferior and so totally almost deleted this lil haven of mine in fear she may return and wonder why the heck I even have a blog in the first place.

Fear not (cause I know y'all were worried)...I didn't delete me. Obviously. I'm trying to just be happy with how I blog and what I blog about, and be thankful for girls, like Jeana, who have a blog where we can go if we feel the need to pee our pants.

I'm tellin' ya, that youngest son of hers, kills me everytime.

So, Jeana, thank you for visiting me in my lil neck of the woods. You're welcome anytime. Just know that I get a lil tongue tied and sweaty and possibly a little light headed when you're here. But you're always welcome, nonetheless!

I'm feeling a lil...

sheepish...if you will.

So, I posted earlier that it costs me over 10 grand for coffee a year. Seriously, what was I smoking? Yeah, my math, it's not so good. The actual amount, should have read, $1170. Maybe I should have gone to college.

Then I wouldn't be so baaaa-d at math.

This my friends...

...is what it looks like in my laundry basket. Emptiness. It's a beautiful thing. It's all F'APA (folded and put away) too! I am one happy camper. I was inspired here and here to do something. And while I didn't make a jillion meals or make homemade jam, I did:

-Get up at 6 am to make breakfast for Josh and Jaylee
-emptied dishwasher and reloaded with breakfast dishes
-tidied living room
-washed and folded the last 3 loads of laundry
-cleaned Jaylee's room, which consisted of going thru toys and clothes she no longer plays with or wears (if anyone is in need of toys, let me know, I'll send 'em your way)
-made lunch
-tidied bathroom
-let child live another day

Okay, so the last one I have to do, everyday...and today, since she's quite cute, it wasn't hard to do. :)

Good luck with your chores today, whatever they may be...and remember, some is better than none!

I need it to Live...

*edited because I put in the wrong amount for what it costs me per year to be human, the original post said $10,700. Yeah, I'm a dork
...okay, maybe not to live, but I need it to be a nice, functional, happy human being. I will be the first to admit, I'm an addict. I don't try to hide the fact. Sometimes I try to hide how much it costs to be an addict of this kind, but there's no hiding that either. It's a spendy lil addiction.

Coffee. Not coffee outta-the-coffee-pot coffee.

Frilly, foofy, spend-way-too-much coffee. From a stand.

A place where these two girls know my name.


I get a really happy feeling when I show up and they say, "Just yours or his too?" They know what I want, what I really really want. Today, I said, "Just mine." And they go to work. Gracie, the girl in yellow, trained me when I worked here 4 years ago. Being a Barista was an awesome job. Hard work. But fun work. In the morning, sometimes you're the first person your customer sees, so it's important to greet them with a smile and "good morning". There were definitely days when I wanted to spit in some drinks but I can honestly say I never did it. I loved my "regulars" and still see some of them around town and we'll chat about their kids, grandkids and pets. Sometimes when we pull up to the stand, there will be a rig in front of us that I recognize, and I'll tell Josh, "hot, skinny, 12 oz. mocha." And he just smiles. Today, while waiting for my coffee I was reminiscing my Daily Buzz days and it was fun. I had such good times there.
Then Patty, the owner, says, "here ya go." She knows I like two skinny straws, not one fat one. And I love that she knows this. Love even more, that she plays along with my silly quirk and gives them to me. I hand her my card, that is completely punched out thus making this drink free. She tells me to "have a good one" and I'm on my way. Now, I'll be nice, functional and happy. It really doesn't take much for that to be. Just $3.25 a day. $97.50 a month. $1,170 a year. Oh my heck! Breaking that down is really ugly. Really. Ugly. So, I'm going to enjoy this coffee, lots because she may be my last.
Okay, admittedly, this probably won't be my last. But I'm vowing to cut back a lil.

"Peace" Offering

Had an "issue" with husband this morning. Instead of by his name I call him husband when he's been naughty. And this morning he was just that.

Let me remind you, I am not, I repeat...am not a morning person. And at 6 am he's asking me where his belt is. Pffft. So, I pull out the trick my mother used on me.

"Well, when I wore it last...."

Yeah, that didn't go over so hot. 45 minutes later as he's about to leave, "find my belt yet?"

BUGGER!

So, I go find his belt. He leaves for work and my day is off to a wonderful start. Sense the sarcasm please.

We rarely fight. Seriously. But when we do, it's always over petty stuff like this. I decide to make nice. I load Jaylee up in the suburban and head for coffee. I call him on my way.

Me: I'd like to make a peace offering.
Him: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, you want a coffee?
Him: Why, because you were naughty about finding my belt?
Me: This is about to become a pissed off-ering.
Him: *chuckles*

And that ended our "fight."

Random Post #2 for the Day

I love this girl. Snotty nose and all. Poor kid is cutting more teeth. I'm thankful that she doesn't get crabby or have a diaper rash when she's teething but she does get a nasty runny nose.


Her latest obsession these days is watching me put on deodorant in the morning. Yes, I use deodorant. And she insists on having me put it on her as well. I pretend to do a few swipes and she says, "there." And struts happily outta the bathroom.

Last night, I'm making dinner and she's running around like a wild child in the yard. Then, it gets quiet. And you know when a child is silent, they are doing something. Usually that something is not good. This time, it was funny. Josh comes in.

Him: "Have you seen your daughter?" He always refers to her as "mine" when she's done something retarded.
Me: "Uh, she's outside, playing." Knowing full well, it had been quiet and she probably has done something retarded.
Him: "Look at what she's doing." She comes trailing in, with a proud look on her face and sidewalk chalk in one hand and raising the other, saying, "look. look!" Uh huh, she was putting it on like deodorant.

It was a proud moment for me yesterday. She may not be able to count passed four but she has wonderful hygiene!

Now if only it would rub off on my husband...

Random Post #1 for the Day

So, I may not be a Domestic Goddess or an Olympic Gymnast but let me tell ya, there is something I'm good at.

I'm on the phone with my SIL and she tells me my niece, Breena, had taken a swig of soda, and let out a pretty good belch.

Treena: "good one."
Breena: "Yeah, but not as good as Sarah's."

I'm through striving to be a Domestic Goddess. I've got a belching title to live up to.

My Nose and other insecurities....

It's been brought to my attention that my nose is...uh...how do I put it so I'm not offended by my own words?

I'll just say it. She's big. My.nose.is.big.

And I'm okay with that. I think. When looking in the mirror, which honestly I try not to as much as possible, I don't notice it much. But when I see a picture of myself, my nose is definitely the first thing I see.

I come by it honest though. My mom's nose isn't tiny and my dad (RIP) didn't have a small nose either. (Might be now...but wasn't then.) So, I really didn't have much of a chance to get a cute little button nose.

When I was younger I remember comments about it. My mom will deny it up and down but I do remember things being said. It doesn't bug me though. I just hope Jaylee grows into hers, because if she doesn't...poor girl...she's going to live with being teased for the rest of her life as well.


Right now of course, she's cute. But Josh stills asks me, "when will we not be able to see up her nose anymore?" Cracks me up every time.

I used to have an issue with my toes, too. It wasn't until my Sophomore year of high school that I would wear sandals without socks. Yeah, I was cool like that, sandals and socks. In case you aren't aware...that's not in. Don't wear sandals with your socks!

Now, my feet don't bug me. They may bug other people, but I'm okay with them now. They could definitely be worse.

My weight is always a heavy subject. Hehehehe, I'm funny. I used to be thin. Then I got married. Ugh. Not the marriage, just the weight. Then I got thin again. And then got pregnant. Ugh again. And again, not the kid, just the weight. Gaining 56 lbs while I was pregnant was not pretty. My feet were sausages and a friend of mine told me I was almost unrecognizable. That was comforting. I've lost 36 of that 56. Only 20 to go!!! Seriously, baby weight is now toddler weight. Sigh... You'd think running after her all day would make me skinny but it hasn't worked. Think I'm gonna go have a Snickers bar now....

My insecurities are really something that I think little of. I've gotten a lot better about being comfortable with myself. I may have a big nose, but I'm fun. I may have not-so-cute feet, but I'm a good wife and mommy. I may have some extra pounds attached to my rear,(and thighs, and gut)...but I'm a good friend. I've decided that things I worry the most about end up being the least important.

So...here's to me and my first day not caring about them! Yee haw.

My "issue" is resolved

Really, the issue I had a few days ago wasn't even mine. But was something that affected me.

My amazing friend, Amber, informed me a couple of weeks ago that she had cancer.

Uh huh.

She didn't call to tell me. Nope. She sent me a text message. I wanted to shoot her. You don't text someone with that kind of information!!! Anyway, I forgive her for it. ;)

It really freaked me out. Just a few months ago I was calling her to tell her I had cancer and now here she was, doing the same. I just kept thinking, "this isn't right, she's totally kidding."

But she wasn't. She was completely serious. And of course, we did what we do best, we made light of it. Joked about it. You know how I roll, well she rolls just the same. But deep down I know she was a lil skerd. 'Cause I remember being skerd.

Today she went in for a procedure and came out cancer free!!! Best news I've heard in forever!


Amber...I love you and am so very thankful that we'll have many more opportunities to measure our noses with Rolos and nights to commit misdemeanors together.

The Greatest Weekend, Ever!

We're home. And I'm not even close to being unpacked. However, I thought I'd share some of the pictures I took while we were gone. I only took a few with my digital, the rest are with my still camera and I'll get those back in a couple of weeks. (Thank you, Treena for developing them!)

We had a ton of fun. A little run down of our weekend:

We left Thursday afternoon, got there around 8, I think and played a lil Yahtzee. (I won!) I was so excited to see my niece, Breena. Love this girl. Not that you can tell by the picture, but she's only 11! She's beautiful, inside and out. She can tease and be teased. She has a great sense of humor and is wise beyond her years. She may only be 11 but she's 4 inches taller than I am, yeah, I know...not hard to do.

Melissa came over on Friday morning and Treena, Breena, Melissa and I went and ran some errands while Josh took Jaylee and Sareena to the Lego store and on a bike ride. It was a ton of fun having Melissa with us for the day! Later in the day we all went to Target and my crazy husband pulled this stunt on the red ball. Seriously wish I had his stomach muscles! I'll blame the cancer surgery on the reason I don't have them, and not the lack of exercise! :)

Late Friday night, Josh's brother and his wife showed up with their little girl.

Saturday morning the 10 of us were up, ready and outta the house around 8:30 to head to the beach. On the way we had to stop at a coffee shop, I just can't function without it and I'm not the only one...Chad. :) We got to the beach, set up our camp and then took a bunch of family pictures. The kids and husbands just wanted to play but us girls had business in mind and wanted to get that done before everyone dispersed to do their own thing.

I'd found a pair of water shoes for Jaylee at a second-hand baby shop on Friday, so that was awesome. What wasn't awesome was the fact that she did not like to get them wet! It was pretty funny.


We played, we bbq'd, we played some more. After about 5 or 6 hours of beach time we went to dinner at The Pelican. So yummy!

Sunday we played heathens and went for a 15 mile bike ride instead of attending church. Yeah, I know...naughty us! We had such a fun time on the ride. Scenery was great, the company was awesome and the weather was perfect.

Pretty much couldn't have asked for a more fun time.

Looking forward to October when the entire family will be together at the beach in celebration of Joshua's grandpa's 85th birthday.

Hope your weekend was great as well!

Pacific City, here we come!

Last year we went with my SIL and her family to Pacific City and absolutely loved it! So, we're going back.

We'll leave this afternoon after Josh gets off work (he's taking the day off tomorrow!) and head on down to Portland. Saturday will be the big day of going to the beach.

So so so excited! I think it'll be good for us to get away for a few days, because like I said a couple of posts ago, Josh has been busy and I'm thinking he needs a little R&R.

Well, I'm off for the weekend. Hope you all have a good one!

Undeserving

My sweet husband has been extremely busy the last couple of weeks and during that time I've felt neglected. Unloved. Unwanted.

Poor me.

I'm so good at feeling sorry for myself.

Instead of being understanding and supportive about his busyness, I (at first) didn't say anything. We didn't talk much during those two weeks. We co-existed. He had food and clean clothes and I let him share our bed, even though I thought he should sleep on the couch.

And then I just burst!

I couldn't stand it anymore. I was tired of being quiet about it. I tried to play it off as if it were a joke to me that he hadn't spent much time with me but he knew. I could see it in his eyes. And then in the way he walked after that.

I had hurt his feelings. He's been busy trying to make improvements for our family. He wasn't selfishly busy.

Last night after Jaylee went to bed he gets a dishpan, fills it with really warm water and places it at my feet. He goes into the bathroom and comes out with an exfoliating mitt, soap and Neutrogena body oil.

He proceeds to wash my feet, exfoliate them, massage them and then when he was done he put the oil on my feet and massaged them some more.

Seriously.

It should have been me doing this for him. He's the one who has been busy. The one who has been working so hard for our small family. Yet, he humbled himself and washed my feet and in the process, I was humbled.

I was undeserving and yet he still loved me and washed my feet and then apologized for his lack of attention.

This man I have been blessed with is such an example to me of Christs' love for me. I will be forever thankful to Him for Joshua.

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

Today's To-Do List...

is ridiculously long. But, remember...some is better than none! :)

Here's my list:
Dishes-check
Sweep kitchen-check
Vacuum
Dust
Sweep bathroom
Start laundry-check and as I started laundry this morning, I pulled clothes from the washer that I did yesterday, you know how you'll sometimes find a quarter or a pony tail or a wad of paper? Well, this morning, I found a flip flop. Uh huh. I did. She's all nice and clean now! But seriously, how did that get in there?!
FAPA(fold and put away)Laundry
Bring books upstairs and load bookcase
Take Chicken out to thaw at 2 pm
Clean up mess outside Josh has been working outside a lot on our suburbans (yes, plural) taking one engine and replacing it with the other, so there are grease rags and tools and just a lot of junk that needs picked up.
Mow backyard
Clean out fridge I really love to clean out my fridge but after I do so, it usually leaves us with butter and milk and there's not much you can make for dinner with that! I may have to go grocery shopping too.

So, there's my list. I know it's do-able. I just don't really want to do all of it. We'll see what I can get done or what I choose to get done.

Have a good day!

Your Mom goes to College...but I don't.

I went to the mailbox yesterday (clothed) and found a fun box containing a Close to My Heart catalog and a couple of fun magazines! So fun! (Thank you, Treena)

But, also in my mailbox is this catalog that comes every few months and every time I see it...I'm sad.

It's a catalog filled with all the classes available at our community college. I've always wanted to go to college. Always.

I don't really know why since I don't really have a desire to have a career but I just love to learn. I love to have random information in my head.

It might also be that I love school supplies. Like Trapper Keepers and Pee Chees and pencils with really cool erasers on top and the lil grip thingy so you don't get a pencil bump. Sharpies and mechanical pencils. I love it all.

But really, that's not why I want to go to college. I can't say why I want to go, because I really don't know why. It's just always been something in my heart. But, it costs money (which we don't have) and time away from home (which I don't have) so I'm thinking I'm going to have settle living vicariously through Amber, who is going to college.

Even if I could go, I probably wouldn't. How silly does that sound?! I have fears. Fears like you wouldn't believe. A few of them:

Where's the front door?
Do I wear a backpack?
If I do wear a backpack, do I sling it over one shoulder or both?
Do we have assigned seats?
Do I have to ask to use the restroom?
Will I be called on and if I don't know the answer, everyone will chuckle?
What if I can't find my class?

The list could go on and on I tell you. It really could.

So, if I had a windfall of money, most likely I still wouldn't go to college. However, it's still I dream I have and maybe...just maybe, I'll go.

TGIF!

I'm so excited it's Friday. And that's silly. Because in the "Life of Sarah" basically everyday is Friday. It's not like I go to work or anything but I still get excited for Friday.

Usually I'm excited for Friday because I know SMT is the next day and Josh doesn't have to work but tomorrow he does. Which isn't terrible, four hours of overtime makes for a lovely paycheck and he only has to work til noon.

I think my love of Fridays started as a kid. We'd have nachos and share Pepsi and then when TGIF came on, we'd have popcorn and M&M's and watch DJ, Stephanie and Michelle manipulate Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse.

Then, as I got older, Friday meant football or basketball games. Hanging out with my friends.

After I met Josh, Friday meant going to his parents' house and watching movies or playing cards.

I've just always loved Fridays. This one won't be anything glamorous but it's still Friday and I'm still thankful.

Events for the Day

There isn't much to blog about. I mean, there is, 'cause I have an issue I'm dealing with, just not one I can make public at the moment, but when I can...I assure you I will!

Anyway, since I can't vent about what I want to vent about, I'll give you the rundown of My Day.

For the last few weeks our mornings have started soooo early. Around 5:30 or so we get up and either make coffee or go get coffee. Josh heads off to work at 6:55, so as not to be late for his 7 o'clock start time. Jaylee and I meander down to the park and since we're there so early, the only people at the park are the inmates, dressed in orange, picking up garbage.

I don't know them by name but we're used to each other by now. Makes me laugh when they find a quarter, they start yelling. Thinking I might just start bringing pennies to throw and watch their faces light up.

After the park we drive aimlessly through town because, you know, gas is cheap and driving around is sooo much fun.

She naps and I clean house, email, read a book, or like this morning...I tried to pull the weeds that are lining my driveway. Impossible. They like it there and they don't want to leave.

And since they are so tall, they actually provide some privacy and I'm considering letting them stay.

Since it's Thursday, I'll go mow the lawn of a lady named Linda who lives down the holler and then I'll mow my in-laws lawn as well. I don't know what to make for dinner. I'm sure I'll be able to whip something up. Just not sure it'll be edible.

Eh, beggars can't be choosers.

Yup, that's the extent of excitement for my Thursday. Hope yours is just as grand!

Mild Obsessions, Small Towns and Wedding Veils

When you live in a small town with not much to do besides going to the nearest Taco Wagon or Cow Tipping, you have to find something to keep yourself entertained.

It's no secret that I love Grey's Anatomy. I've told you before. But what you may not know is just how much I love that show. But I'm not the only one.

Amber loves the show too.

I think it was last Tuesday she asked if I wanted to go to Wal Mart in our wedding veils on Saturday. You know, 'cause that's what most people do on Saturday mornings.

Sure, I'm up for a good time. I decided to up the ante, just a lil.

How about I make us some stick figures of McDreamy and McSteamy and have the professionals at Wal Mart take our pictures. She agrees but is reluctant. I decided then and there, if she couldn't handle it, our friendship probably wouldn't last too much longer. Because really...those who know me best, know that a lil random picture taking is pretty mild.

So, she shows up in her veil. I have mine. And I have our stick people. She chooses McSteamy and I choose McDreamy. And we head off to Wal Mart.

Those poor photographers (who looked about 12 yrs old) didn't know what to do with us. They didn't know how to pose two girls together who weren't "together" and they just weren't sure what to think of our stick men.

After about 20 minutes we got them finished, went home and my lovely husband took more photos for us since we needed instant gratification and Wal Mart won't send our pics for 3 weeks.

Here's a sampling:



Of course I'll share our "professional" photos when we get them!

My Mailbox

My mailbox is at the end of our driveway. It's not a long driveway but long enough that I have to put on clothes if I want to check the mail without offending neighbors. (I miss the house on Elm St. where I could just reach my arm out to grab the mail)

Anyway...

So, not only do I have to be clothed to get the mail, I have to walk a lil ways up hill to go back to my house. It's quite the process to check the mail. So, it really chaps my hide when I get dressed and walk down the driveway only to find I have no mail.

None.

Sometimes I think I'd rather have bills waiting for me than nothing at all. It's lonely walking back up the driveway empty-handed.

I'm thankful for my friend Melissa, you know...the girl who stole my boyfriend back in High School, I'm thankful for her because she sends Snail Mail.

I'm also thankful for my SIL, Treena. She also sends mail. I love getting mail from her, it's so fun, she never has anything to say in the cards she makes for me because we talk or email 37 times a day. So, the note in her card usually says something like, "love, me."

The reason I bring up no mail is because it happened again. It was a lonely trip home from the mailbox.

If I had known it was going to be empty, I wouldn't have had to get dressed today.

The Sun Shades are Attacking!

On Saturday I had to borrow my SIL's mini-van. There was a sun shade in the winshield area. I tried to wrap it up and it sprung to life and tried to attack me.

Really.

It did.

So, I try again. Because in my head I was reminded of the saying, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

It attacked me. Again. I throw my arms up and try to run for cover but I'm already seat belted into the van. Thankfully no one saw. They would have thought I was some crazy person. Would hate for strangers to find something out like that about me so soon. And I'd also hate to confirm the suspicions of friends and family.

So, after the blasted thing calmed down, I chucked it in the backseat.

That's right, I'm back!

After a few months of reevaluating priorities and such, I think I'm at a place where I can safely have the internet in my home without spending too much time on it.

So...today, I called my ISP and set up an account. Again. There's a catch. I'm only using dial up.

EW! GROSS! I know!!!! But, for now, I think this is a good start.

I'm very excited to start blogging again, even more excited to start reading blogs again.

Have a wonderful day!!!

Just Some Updates

Hiiii!!! I know, I know...it's almost been two months since my last post.

Getting rid of the internet was a very hard decision but it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made. Just ask my husband. He actually has clean clothes to wear each morning and dinner on the table at night. I was definitely neglecting my help meet role.

There aren't too many things to announce for the last couple of months, we're still working on our home. Almost half way finished with the siding. It's been fun to work together on it but I'd love to hire it done so that it would have been complete a couple of months ago. Ah well...

Jaylee will be two in about a week and I wanted to have her pictures taken. My friend Sara offered to do them and these are just a couple of shots I loved.



(Not sure how to fix the pics...sorry!)

Anyway, totally loved these shots. Josh knows I had them taken but he doesn't know the poses we did, I think he's going to love the one of her under the hood of the rig. She can be such a girly girl one minute and a tomboy the next. I love that about her.

I don't know what I used to blog about everyday, it's been two months since my last post and I feel like I don't have anything new to share!

Just wanted to show off the pictures I had done of my favorite little girl!

Have a good one!

When you don't have internet...

...you have more time to think of random pictures to take. Like this one.


There's really no explanation for this picture. My husband goes looking for his dust masks and shows up like this. My bra, over his face. I thought I was going to die. Then he gets the brilliant idea that I should wear the dust masks as a bra and that we should set the timer on my camera and actually take a picture to show the world.

It's things like this that make me realize it was such a good idea to get rid of the internet. That way I have more time to take wholesome family pictures.

So, this is what I've been doing in the last week. Real busy I am.

Some Things I Lack

I lack self discipline.

I lack self control.

It's just the way it is...baby.

No, I'm not going to sing. But seriously, those are a couple of things I lack. And sometimes (for me) the easiest way to endure temptation is to get rid of it, which I guess means I'm not enduring it. Oh, whatever. Anway, like chocolate. I love chocolate. My MIL gave me lots of it at Easter. I knew I couldn't just eat one piece at a time, so I had to throw some of it out, while I shoved a mouthful in.

So, remember my issue with my cell phone? I loooved my phone. Loved texting. Loved talking. And it cost me money. Which I really have been trying to be better with. Anyway, you know the outcome. I got rid of the cell phone.

This time...this time my area of lack of self control involves the computer. Involves blogging, MySpace, hotmail, recipes, etc. I love to be online.

L-O-V-E I-T!

And for the most part, so you don't absolutely think I'm a terrible mom, I am mostly on here when Jaylee sleeps. I don't always neglect her! But I'm not going to lie to you (oh this is so embarrassing) there are times when I'm on here and she's running around getting into everything and I don't even notice. Yep, I'm a bad mom.

But I'm not okay with it. I'm changing it. I'm going to do better.

I want to set a good example. For my daughter, my family, my friends. I don't want to be known as "that girl who's always online." I really don't. But right now, that would be a fair assessment of who I am and what I do.

I really wish I could keep my internet and my homekeeping. But, at this point in my life, I can't. I'm too wishy washy. I lack self control. When Josh leaves for work and Jaylee takes a nap, I basically have three choices.

1. Read the Bible.
2. Clean my house.
3. Get online.

Number three is always number 1 on my priority. I love to read my email. I love to send it. I love MySpace. I love to blog and read others' blogs too.

Anyway, I know. I'm getting longwinded about this whole thing. To make a long story less long, today I cancelled my internet.

Yep, cancelled.

And how ridiculous is it that my heart kinda hurts a lil? But it does.

Today is my last day. It will be cancelled tomorrow. I'll be going to the public library more now. I can use it free there. It just won't be the same.

As hard as it is, I feel good about it. I know I've made the right decision. It's just going to take awhile to get used to.

My posts may not be as often, so please stick around. I will post.

Maybe less posts will mean when I do post, it won't be so White Bread.

Mom Award

I have been handing out awards left and right these days and today I'm handing out another.

To me.

My sweet little girl is sick. She has a terrible cough. Terrible.

So terrible we've not been sleeping. None of us. And nothing is helping. This morning, as in, just-a-coupla-hours-ago, she's up for the day. But her bangs are stuck to her nose. So, I peel them from her nose. Her eyes are pretty much glued shut with ickies. So, I peel the ickies from her eyes. Now, by golly, she's ready for Tuesday!

Even though she only had about 3 hours of sleep, she's happy. She picks at breakfast and then decides it's time for a nap.

"Nigh-Nigh?" She says and has me follow her.

She leads me to her crib and she tries to climb in. Being the good mom that I am I chuck her in. She gets all snuggly with her "boogie" (a blankie) and off to dreamland she goes.

I come upstairs for a little MySpace fix and hear her coughing. Relentlessly.

Then she cries. Bad sign.

Head downstairs...and the poor girl is sitting up in a pile of vomit.

Take her out, strip her, start her bath, strip her bed, wash her hair, start the washer, check on her, make her bed, wash her body, dry, lotion, diaper, clothe, brush and dry her hair and back to bed she goes.

About 12 minutes.

Tops.

Yep, that's why I give myself an award.

Bridges and Realistic Fears

Today Jaylee and I went with Josh on a full day of deliveries for his work. We're way out "in the armpit of Washington" as Josh said, when a sign reads "Bridge work, Wednesday, April 18."

My first thought was, "nice, we won't have to stop for road work." But then I realized we had to cross that bridge-today. Today as in, before the bridge work was completed. Then in the 1/4 mile I had to think about it, I started to panic that maybe it wouldn't hold us as we crossed it. Maybe the bridge work was because there were holes all through it and we were going to have to dodge them and then possibly not make it. Maybe one of the poles holding the bridge up, broke, and then we'd be crossing a bridge with only three poles holding it up. What if it was a draw bridge and it's stuck in "draw" mode? Huh? Huh? What if, I tell you. What if?

We're getting closer. I can see the bridge up ahead. I think beads of sweat considered trickling down my head. And then we get to the "bridge." Seriously, I could have jumped the thing. I panicked for nothing. All the worry for naught. Pfft.

I don't like to waste a good panicking. If I'm gonna panic, I want it to be for something worth panicking over. Like a spider on the wall, 37 feet away. Or maybe my Dirty Dancing DVD won't work. Or a coffee shortage. Or chocolate becoming extinct. 'Cause you never know, it might...

Guess I'll cross those bridges when I get there, too.

Sarah's Friendship Day!

National Friendship Day isn't until August but I'm feeling overwhelmingly blessed lately by my friendships. And I don't want to wait until then to let you all know how much you mean to me.

So, this blog is for you. My friends. The people I love for loving me!

In random order...

Treena-a little quiz she filled out for me said it best, "sisters by marriage, friends by choice." So true. I love this girl. She understands me and still likes me! The girl I can burp in front of and always know I'll get a "good one" from. She knows how to make me feel good about myself. :) She is passionate about life, marriage, children, the Lord. I love to be inspired by her.

Melissa-Yes,she stole my boyfriend back in high school but I'm over it, remember? I love having a cancer buddy! She randomly sends me cards and most recently she introduced me to the love of my life...a beautiful, black, free flowing skirt that makes you never ever wanna take it off. There's no one else I'd want to lose my bedliner with. No one but Melissa who understands my need to be the one to drive.

My Mama-If there was ever a person to drive me crazy, it's her. But I could never do without her. She understands my odd fascination with numbers and license plates. She knows I'm spoiled but also knows it's her fault that I am. I love her. I just plain love her.

Kristie-I'm so thankful that I met her through Treena. It was Kristie's blog that made me think, "oooh, I wanna do that." Kristie is encouraging and inspiring. She's an amazing scrapbooker! Without her, most of my posts would go uncommented on!

My Mother-in-Law-She raised the most amazing son! I love what this woman has taught me over the last 10+ years. Even though I don't exercise it often, she's taught me that it's okay to just not talk sometimes. She's funny, even though I'm sure she doesn't know it or try to be. She's loving and giving, randomly dropping off an outfit for Jaylee or a pair of jeans for Joshua. Whenever we've asked her to watch Jaylee, she's always been available. She taught me that when I go to someone elses house for dinner, be helpful. Clear the table. Do the dishes. Be a servant. She's taught me by example.

Erica-It's taken us 22 years but I'm so thankful to Jesus for healing and restoring my friendship with my younger sister. Never have I met anyone more competitive (besides myself) than this girl. She hates to lose! I love her selfless heart. I love her laugh. Love that when she does laugh, her nose gets red and her nostrils flare. It's the cutest thing ever! The one thing I hate about her, about 5 minutes after she has a baby, she's back in her skinny clothes! :)

Lindsey-On Feb 21st, my post was dedicated to Linds. For good reason. Yes, it was her birthday but I wanted this girl to know how special she is in my life. 13 years we've been friends. She never turned her back on me. Always praying for me. I love that while in high school, when no one else thought I was funny, Lindsey always did. Every stupid thing I did to try to get attention, Lindsey was always there to laugh and encourage me.

Michelle-We've never met, but I consider us Blogger Buddies. :) One day she came out of Lurkerdom (yes, it's an actual place) and commented on my Sheryl Crow post. Her comment made me thankful I'm not the only one who's been there. She's encouraging and she's funny and I hope that one day we get to meet in person. We're only a little over an hour apart!

Candee-My sweet pregnant friend, I can't wait to see her belly! I was "in love" with her brother for all of high school! It was always fun to go to their house, because not only did I get to hang out with her, I got to stare at her brother! After Josh and I got married, Lindsey went off to college. This wasn't easy for me. We saw each other everyday for four years and then she was gone. Candee was there. She knows what I'm talking about when I say "Cabin 2" I love that when she has a sucker in her mouth, she drools. :) Her laugh makes me laugh. Her smile makes me smile.

Megan-Sweet baby sister. We've always had something special. I think part of it is we're very much alike and sometimes that's caused strife but for the most part, it's made us extremely close. She's the girl who let me lay my head in her lap for 3 hours and cry after Josh and I broke up in high school. She played with my hair and whispered that everything would be okay. She was only 10. She's the one that while I was 7 months pregnant played in a mud pool with me. Yes, a pool. Not a puddle.

Keri-Oh gosh, don't even know where to start with this girl. We met while working as Baristas. We drink the same coffee. We have the same love for Red Robin. My favorite memory of us is running down her road and across a busy street at 2 am to play "King of the Mountain" on a snow pile...in our unmentionables! She understands my need to name my vehicles. She understands that I like to have the windows down and the heater up!

Melinda-Probably my strangest friendship! We met online playing cards! She used to live in Kentucky and now resides in Florida with her husband. Wow, weird to say husband! They just got married and it's been fun to see their relationship progress. During a very bad time in my life she was there. She listened. But she would also ask if my decisions were ones I should be making. It's been a few years since we've seen each other and occasionally we'll go months without a phone conversation, but it's always easy to pick up where we left off.

Amber-The Lord has brought this girl back into my life at the most perfect time. Without her, my child would have no costume for the Harvest Party, my toenails would have gone unpainted while I was in the hospital and my husband would have gone without food. She not only understands my obsession with acronyms, she plays along. She makes me laugh til I PJAL (pee just a little) and while she may lurk on my blog, she's my number one commenter on MySpace. She loves clearance racks and McDonald's! A girl after my very own heart!

Sorry this post was so long but I just had to let you all know how much you are loved and appreciated. Thank you for being a part of my life.

I love you all!

The Best Something

Oh, how I wish this were me! I wish I were excellent at all of these tasks. Cooking, baking, decorating...

I like to do them all. Just haven't quite perfected any of them. What I love though is that the Lord is growing me. I never used to like to clean, however I enjoy it now. And it's something I'm getting better at. It's more often than once a month now! :)

I like to decorate but I used to think you had to spend a bunch of money to do so, now I make do with what I have on hand and try to pretty stuff up.

As far as cooking and baking, I'm okay at both. I love to cook, love to try new recipes. I want to be excellent at at least one recipe. You know how there's that certain person who makes the best cookies (Treena) or the best pasta salad (Erica) well, I want to be someone that makes the best something!

Just don't know what that something is yet.

Let me know if you figure out what my something should be!

Lurkers Part 2

You know who you are. I kinda know who are. Just come out with it, I say!

I posted here about Lurkers.

I'm okay with you lurking. I lurk too. My stat counter shows people from places I don't know people from. So, I'd just like to know who you are, how ya found me, where you're from and all that jazz.

C'mon, give a shout out to a fellow lurker. You can do it!!!

Put 'em On

Ever just need to do this? Or...maybe it's just me. I get my feelings hurt easily. I can get upset over the silliest, stupidest, pettiest things. (are these all words?)

And when I do get upset, I just think..."I need to put on my big girl panties!"

I wish I were a small girl in big panties but I'm a big girl needing big girl panties.

Ehh, whaddya do?

Traditions

As a kid we colored eggs for Easter and went on Easter egg hunts, loading our egg cartons with colored eggs and our bellies with sugar and that was what Easter was about.

Now, as an adult, who knows the true meaning of Easter Sunday, I want to start traditions with Jaylee.

Do we color eggs and have an egg hunt? Is that taking away from Christ, His death on the Cross and His resurrection? Is it okay to do both? Can we have a little treat of an egg hunt but still have the emphasis on Jesus?

I don't know.

So, this year, there will be no egg coloring, no egg hunt. Yet, she's still too young to teach her the meaning of Resurrection Sunday.

The last couple of years but even more so this year, I've just been in awe of Resurrection Sunday. Our Savior, came to earth so He could die for us. A death on the Cross. He died for the sins I've committed and for the sins I've yet to commit.

And not just for me.

For you, too. 2 Corinthians tells us that He died for all.

Because of how amazing it all is, I don't know that I want to downplay it with coloring eggs and going on an egg hunt. I don't know. I'm glad I still have another year or so before Jaylee understands that some people color eggs and get candy.

'Cause it just may take me that long to figure out what tradition we want to start with her.

My Ungrateful Heart

I feel just awful. Awful I tell you.

You know awhile back we sold my car. My car that I loved. And we were driving Holly. Our '85 Suburban that, if we're lucky, gets 8 mpg. Just as were starting to feel the crunch of our gas bill, Josh's parents offer us the little pickup. The 'Possum.

And the whole story behind that silly truck is pretty funny. From the name of it, to the tilt leather seat, to the bedliner flying out of it. The truck has some fun stories.

Yet, I want a new car. It's my downfall. New cars are my downfall! I love them! And they don't have to be new new. Just new to me. I love to find all the little compartments a vehicle has. I like to blast the radio. I like to put a steering wheel cover on it. I just like to have a new rig.

And since I stalled the 'Possum the other day in the middle of the road with a big ol' truck behind me, ohhhh I was hot. I was thinking, "That's it!!! I'm goin' out and gettin' me a new rig!" Not sure how I could do that on my homemakers income.

Maybe if I wore a short skirt.

With a low cut shirt.

And a push-up bra.

Yep, that'll do 'er. I'm sure that'd get me a new rig for sure!

I won't really do that. I'm not that desperate for a new vehicle.

Yet.

Nervous

Last Sunday I did something that I wanted to do yet was scared to do.

I signed up and paid for the Ladies Retreat with my church. I'm excited but I'm not. It'll be nice to have a couple days away from home to study the Word of God, but I don't know the other women very well. I'm sure they aren't out to get me or anything but I'm still a lil scared.

My mom is going, so that's a bonus. But I also don't want her to be my crutch. You know? I want to make friends, even though I'm terrible at it. I want to learn more about Jesus, even though half the time I read His word, I'm utterly lost. I want these things, I'm just nervous.

Really glad I have a month of losing sleep before it actually happens.

These are the things that go through my head...

What if I snore?
What if my morning routine is weird compared to someone elses?
Will they think I'm gross if I don't brush my teeth at night? (Cause half the time I don't!)
Are there private bathroom stalls or is it a big restroom where everyone can hear me potty?
Will there be iced hazelnut breves?!
Will there be a question time, where they ask a question about the Bible and then randomly choose someone from the group to answer, 'cause what if I don't know the answer?! Then what?!

Oh there are many others, but I'll stop there since it's making my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

How I felt this morning